Trans Widows' Testimonies Ophelia Part 3 "In Sickness and In Health" not for us

[@UteHeggenTranswidowHeals]

I'm on twitter now! Lea Utsira, my children's author pen name. This one is a cautionary tale: if your husband is ideating a male persona, take heed. He's very, very self-involved. In sickness, he might not be able to focus on you. This is why we leave. I begged Neddy to drop a class in the NYU MBA program, and he refused. I was devastated. He did not take days off of work. I managed on my own with fevers 104F all day, with my baby. I was also devastated when my milk dried up, but he was eating solid food by then. This is life, elemental.

[@beatrixkiddvideo2404]

In cases such as the ones you describe, I always note that people (mostly men, IME) are “unable” to help someone do something that is crucial, even if it doesn’t require much effort or skill, and yet they’re miraculously able to perform other, highly-involved tasks. To me it’s not a question of capability but of will.

[@UteHeggenTranswidowHeals]

@@beatrixkiddvideo2404 Part of growing up is anticipating emergencies. I made sure both sons got CPR training, at least I tried. Thanks, BKV!

[@helendancelot]

Ideating a male persona or did you mean female persona?

[@UteHeggenTranswidowHeals]

@@helendancelot Wow! I have to listen again. I probably made a mistake. The brain fog of cross-sex language capture! Thanks for pointing it out~

[@monicaperez2843]

​@@UteHeggenTranswidowHeals Ute, my mother taught all my brothers how to change a diaper and bathe a baby by age 5. She told them the days of a wife catering to them was over. G_D Bless my mother, she was a feminist before they even had the word!

[@persiamotorman]

There's a book titled "The Ten Worlds". Rather than try to explain it all....the basic premise of the book is that there are several mistaken ideas of what will give us happiness which ultimately don't. For instance, a Sociopath will believe that if they are allowed to have ultimate freedom to do whatever they want (regardless of morality....that's just a hindrance to freedom in their mind), they will attain happiness. It could be that your husband saw you as someone standing in the way of his freedom (happiness) while you were sick in the hospital. There seems to be a common core delusion with transexuals....If I can be whatever I want to be (regardless of reality...that gets in the way of freedom in their mind), I will have everlasting happiness, but of course, the anticipated happiness never materializes.

[@UteHeggenTranswidowHeals]

I can see a thought process like that--I was at home though. He was managing (that is NOT managing) my care. I am grateful that my body came through and the fevers finally broke!

[@monicaperez2843]

I am amazed how many cross dressers have an "agreement" with their wives to have an "open marriage." In the case I'm thinking of, the wife fears poverty without him, so she goes celibate to protect her health, while he has sex with both men and women, as a woman.

[@UteHeggenTranswidowHeals]

@@monicaperez2843 Yup! Anything goes, but if the wife doesn't enter the nunnery, she's a harlot! Thanks!

[@houseofwonders1]

Sounds a lot like when my father got a life altering injury. My mother refused to drive him to any hospitals for treatment nor did his parents/brothers, and my brothers and I (me being 9 years old at the time) were the only ones in the house who helped him recover, and keep track of his life for him, which he was unable to do at the time.

[@UteHeggenTranswidowHeals]

I hope he's better now. It is usually quite difficult to know if your new spouse will come through in an emergency. My point here is that men who ideate female personae are much less likely to come through. Neddy proved he wasn't able to focus on the injured child during many emergencies. This time my life was in the balance.

[@houseofwonders1]

@@UteHeggenTranswidowHeals It seems to be a common theme among narcissists

[@UteHeggenTranswidowHeals]

@@houseofwonders1 Yes, it is. We must point it out every time. Thanks!

[@helendancelot]

Seems you often have your vids cut off abruptly at the end...

[@UteHeggenTranswidowHeals]

Yes! Part is my intention of not taking too much of your time, and part is YT cutting a couple of seconds off. Rather than make a do-over, i leave it if the basics are communicated. Thanks for watching to the end!