Transference resistance

[@goldbrick2563]

Powerful story. These patients are lucky to have such a skilled therapist.

[@c.brownell8618]

This is helpful in explaining how transference is supposed to work.

[@patriciacoughlinphd1852]

So glad.

[@inglestherightway]

As a teacher of English as second language I deal with a lot of that. My, oh my! Reading psychoanalytic books has been a life saviour giving me awareness and insight into this.

[@shahilagh]

I like you speak about people who are your clients like they are not bad. That is a wonderful quality to have. Many people in your role see the other person problematic and themselves at a more intellectual level. The example that happened to this woman you shared shows you r open to reflect on the why of things. This example happens to all. I also like you go straight to the point. I studied in business school and I find listening to psychology folks in KZbin quite draining because there is so much of repetitions not not up to the point arguments. Possibly field levels but whatever it is it should be different to be a better communication. thanks.

[@healinghearts3666]

Your client examples make the topic very easy to understand, thankyou so much.

[@ronaldalbucher4348]

Love the clear distinction between character and transference resistances!

[@patriciacoughlinphd1852]

Thanks Ron!

[@shahilagh]

it is helpful to have some explanations in the descriptions. ur little brief was good. helps to have even more elaborate

[@AnkeHans]

Wow this is so good! Thanks for sharing Patricia.

[@patriciacoughlinphd1852]

my pleasure!

[@DB-zg8hy]

Patricia, I love how activated you get early in this video when you began recounting your experience with this woman. My mirror neurons must have been activated - I too was silently animated (repositioning myself in my office chair, folding then unfolding my arms) as I observed you speaking. Such an instructive lesson, thank you!

[@patriciacoughlinphd1852]

My pleasure!

[@esma.ga5]

​@@patriciacoughlinphd1852❤😊

[@lenavoyles526]

This was such a great case study to share.

[@patriciacoughlinphd1852]

Glad it was helpful.

[@nyalimuir4103]

Brilliantly communicated, thank you 🙏 I look forward to viewing more of your videos.

[@patriciacoughlinphd1852]

Thanks so much. I am glad they are helpful. That is my intention!

[@Istrice963]

Great example. Thank you. Your explanation is clear and concise.

[@rikkehvelplund1920]

Thanks again again. So helpfull🎉🎉

[@JoshCello123]

That was such an interesting case! Would be interesting to hear about resistance in the therapist instead?

[@patriciacoughlinphd1852]

Sure. I often talk about this in my trainings and will do a video about it.

[@patriciacoughlinphd1852]

Here is a link to one I already did that addresses therapist resistance. kzbin.info/www/bejne/mZ6xqaiug7KWjpo

[@JoshCello123]

@@patriciacoughlinphd1852 thank you very much 🙏 very helpful

[@MsYano26]

Very interesting and helpful!

[@patriciacoughlinphd1852]

so glad!

[@seanhaynes8758]

Just found you .....! I find the concept of transference and counter-transference a mental challenge in so far is how do you spot it? I'm guessing the generally it may not be as grandiose as in the lady you descrivbe in the video.

[@karolina8465]

That is what I've been looking for since now I'm struggling with a similar issue.

[@patriciacoughlinphd1852]

So glad it was helpful to you.

[@Mzd-yo7ux]

Amazing, thank you so much ❤

[@patriciacoughlinphd1852]

My pleasure.

[@marvinsmith9039]

Very good stuff. I'd like to hear you talk about taking this a step further. How does these particular transference discoveries shape treatment goals/planning moving forward and are there any particular suggestions you might encourage outside of session as a result of such transference discoveries. Thanks

[@patriciacoughlinphd1852]

Not sure what you mean by "transference discoveries". Could you elaborate?

[@katharinakugler4581]

So helpful!

[@healinghearts3666]

The ''1-2 punch'', invite the feeling and block the defence, kindly elaborate this process with a few more client examples in your future videos.

[@patriciacoughlinphd1852]

If you are honest about the feeling coming up right now (Step 1) and don't change the subject (Step 2), what are you feeling toward me in this moment.

[@healinghearts3666]

@@patriciacoughlinphd1852 got it, thankyou.

[@patriciacoughlinphd1852]

@@healinghearts3666 I will go into this further in another video - especially talking about the importance of articulating a healthy alternative to defensive avoidance. Thanks for your comments.

[@healinghearts3666]

@@patriciacoughlinphd1852 lovely, thanks.

[@Istrice963]

How about clients who are repeating the same story over and over again. For example, a client who is always complaining about business almost every session but can not make any associations related with this.

[@ebbenielsen7]

Thank you. It was very helpful. A theme that arises very often - resistance in transference. I wonder if it is always good to have the patient feel his feelings towards the therapist when they are transfer feelings, and therefore not direct feelings towards the therapist, but rather projections? Shouldn't the projection be blocked first - or what? Excited for a possible answer?

[@patriciacoughlinphd1852]

There is a key difference between transference and projection. Projection involves disowning a part of the self (say anger and aggression) and projecting it onto another person. While denying that they feel angry, they are convinced the other person is angry with them. Capitol P projection involves a distortion in reality. In these cases, the patient is truly afraid of you, so convinced are they that the danger is outside of themselves and resides in you. In contrast, transference is seeing you as someone else. Again, in projection, they see the other as being a disowned part of the self and in transference, they see you as someone else (mother, brother, etc). Since only doubt 20% of patients can respond to interpretation in a therapeutic manner, just telling the patient they aren't seeing you accurately and are responding as if you are a critical father, Davanloo found that encouraging the patient to experience the feelings evoked in the transference was the key to unlocking the unconscious. As the patient experiences their currently feelings and impulses, imagines of other from the past, who the therapist has come to represent, emerge unmistakably. Now the past is present and can be understood anew. At that point you, the therapist, become distinct from the genetic figure. At first you are linked to the Past, and often current figures (The T-C-P link). Then, you become distinguished from them. Since feelings in the T are ubiquitous, if we don't invite them into the open they can fuel the resistance or create a transference neurosis - something Davnaloo encouraged us to avoid.

[@ebbenielsen7]

@@patriciacoughlinphd1852 Thanks for clearing this up. Appreciate it very much.

[@patriciacoughlinphd1852]

@@ebbenielsen7 Sorry about all these crazy typos. Seems this site auto-corrects in a way that is wrong! I will do my best to re-read and make sue it is as intended.

[@AnaliseFrank]

I am new at work and the employee training me is experiencing a transference. She probably doesnt know the term and doesnt seem to be aware its her behavior and has nothing to do with me. She grumped at me instead of greeting me and basically told me i was talking too much but let another person talk excessively. She did snicker at the other employee once bit she was really making my experience very unpleasant. I have 10 weeks with this lady. What do I do?

[@patriciacoughlinphd1852]

Try speaking to her, beginning with your intention to have the best working relationship possible. Ask for what you want, rather than complaining about what has already happened, and see how she responds. Good luck.

[@AnaliseFrank]

Thanks for the quick reply. I havent responded or reacted yet and there is never a reason to recount negative experiences at work. Im unsure if its just an ego downer for me or if it psychological safety and if I have the ability to chose what it is. Im fine with ego bruises so I dont understand why i am just so upset about it? It feels like its just a never ending barrage and no matter what I say will only magnify her transerrence. I think she believes there is 0% fault on her side. Using an I statement and direct communication, like I normally use, feels unsafe. I am normally a very assertive person and I think that is exactly what is poking at her because I asked her to clarify something and that is when she told me to “just stop talking” in a passive aggressive manner. Its the start of my third week and she isnt the only staff member who has been disrespectful. I just might not be a culture fit and that is okay with me. I know i will be quitting, but i really dont know how to adjust my attitude and stay invested with my time there until I do quit. Thats what makes this transferrence really tricky

[@whoami1654]

I need help with this - I am attracted to my therapist and I keep having intimate dreams about her. I don't know how to approach it. I'm afraid I'll end up falling in love with her and wanting more and I feel really embarrassed and ashamed. Do I speak to her about it? I also know if I were to meet her as a not as a therapist I would be interested in getting to know her more and still find her physically attractive. So I know there is a genuine adult attraction there. And sometimes I get a feeling that there is a sexual chemistry in the room between us both.

[@patriciacoughlinphd1852]

I would urge you to be open and honest about all of your feelings. There is attraction and care, with fantasies of more. Yet, that won't happen, so you'll also experience feelings of pain and anger which will undoubtedly be connected to other relationships in which your dreams did not come true. Anything withheld will become a barrier and will distort the process. I hope your therapist proves skilled in helping you with all this.

[@whoami1654]

@@patriciacoughlinphd1852 That sound's super scary. I resit and don't want to say anything in case she leaves me .

[@whoami1654]

@@patriciacoughlinphd1852 thank you for your reply.

[@patriciacoughlinphd1852]

@@whoami1654 Then that's exactly what you need to do. First of all, your wishes and fears regarding your therapist must show up in other relationships. This is a safe place to work on it. If your therapist can't deal with these feelings, she isn't the therapist for you! You asked, so there is clearly a part of you that wants to open up and be forthcoming. You can tell her you are really scared, but are committed to honesty and healing and, in that spirit, need to let her know how you are feeling.

[@whoami1654]

@@patriciacoughlinphd1852 one final question Patricia, how would I know if they are skilled. When I'm fearful, I can disociate, so I'm not always fully present when the talk. I hear but don't absorb.And should I mention that I've felt that connection between us both and feeling something in return.

[@pauladuncanadams1750]

Older brother sounds like a psychopath.