Facilitating the experience of mixed feelings in the transference

In this segment, we look at working on feelings coming up in the transference. Being clear about WHY it would be important to address these feelings, and being able to identify that there is a CONFLICT about these feelings that is related to the patient's presenting problems, is the place to start. Then you can find many HOWs to help you get there. In particular we will focus on the importance of keeping an internal focus and preventing an interpersonal struggle regarding these feelings. Examples are included.

[@mariannaackerman6093]

Very helpful! I'm more clear now about, why, how, and when to work in the transference, especially when there are negative feelings arising. Thank you for your clarity Patricia.

[@GPDarius]

Thank you so much, Dr Coughlin. I’m enthusiastic...thanks for this education and for your energizing spirit!

[@DB-zg8hy]

Another superb video, thank you, Patricia.

[@patriciacoughlinphd1852]

So glad you find them helpful.

[@janettrimble2950]

Thank you for all your advice. I hope that your covid recovery is speedy

[@patriciacoughlinphd1852]

I'm fine. Thanks!

[@ebbenielsen7]

It never made sense to me that many people call certain emotions negative feelings. First, I believe that all emotions are positive as they all express something that is important to us. And then I just think it is unfortunate to name some feelings for negatives because then there will be some connotations that it are - yes, negative. And that does not facilitate good therapy I should think. Therefore, I could be curious to know what makes you use the term "negative feelings"?

[@leoy8820]

Great! thank you! Yes, we have been learning many skills, not enough whys.

[@patriciacoughlinphd1852]

Agreed.

[@bizarrebroz3424]

From a client's point of view, I don't know if I have any business loving your videos so much but here I am😊 I would love to know your opinion about when to explore the WHY with a client. My brain always wants to understand the why behind the way I behave or think or act and my therapist keeps resisting that and just wants to look at ways that I can almost think more optimistically or she normalises everything. I don't know whether I am the problem or whether maybe I would fit better with a different therapist. I have explained to her that I don't do well with uncertainties or pie in the sky kind of therapy but lo and behold it seems to always go back to that. I want to understand the WHY so that the HOW part of working on better life strategies will make sense to me. It's just how my brain works. I'm not trying to knock my therapist. We have done some good work together but after 10 months, I'm feeling a bit underwhelmed and not sure this is working for me. I'm just wondering when the WHY matters and when not. Or should it always matter if it's important to the client and why would a therapist resist going down that road? I'd really appreciate some insight.

[@patriciacoughlinphd1852]

Of course the why matters. That is what we are seeking to uncover, as many of our motives are typically unconscious. Following the experience of anxiety provoking and avoided feelings, the who and why usually become quite clear. It sounds like you are not getting to the bottom of things and want more from your therapy. Talk to your therapist about this directly and see how it goes. If s/he gets moving, that's great. If not, you may need to find someone else.

[@bizarrebroz3424]

@@patriciacoughlinphd1852 Thank you kindly. I'm getting the feeling it may be time to admit that I'm simply still with my therapist because I've become attached and have abandonment issues. I don't really know how to let go 😕

[@davoodbayat738]

thanks a lot for such profound videos, greetings from Iran. One wonders how and why the shallow superficial inefficient CBT is dominant in the academy!

[@jessicalatorraca8507]

mehran bayat 💠 Aside from my relationship with God, CBT has been the most powerful force in my life! It is effective treatment for those who wish to view themselves in three-dimensional reality. People who seek meaning will appreciate its uncompromising science, blended with deeply humane values. For the rare few of us (therapist and client) who are willing to pour ourselves heart and soul into the work, healing can be abundant.

[@davoodbayat738]

@@jessicalatorraca8507 thanks for your comment. It's great that cbt has worked well for you. I am acquainted with it (and also with God!) But based on my experiences, there are far better things to use in this wonderful broken world, or at least to try.