TRANSPARENCY BEFORE MARRIAGE: SHOULD YOU TELL THEM EVERYTHING

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[@FaraBrown]

This was very insightful. I believe honesty is very good. However I won’t lie and say that I haven’t been told otherwise. There are many women “Christian women” who have advised me that it’s not everything you say because it’s in the past. So I’m really in two minds because I’ve been in a situation where by I thought I found my life partner and I shared everything with him. He was so kind and really embraced me and he also shared he’s secrets too. In fact it brought us closer. However our relationship ended not because of the things we shared together but he’s views / beliefs on women preaching the gospel & working women. By the grace of God I can honestly say I’ve never disclosed he’s secrets to anyone and I pray he does the same for me .. but who knows. So based on that situation I’ve made a conscious decision to speak to God first before disclosing personal things about my past. If I feel led to then I will. So my advice to women in general it’s not every guy that says I like you... you must now download your whole history. If you’re in a serious committed relationship speak to God and move according to how he leads you.

[@QueenEsthersDiaries]

This is true, but I think, based on the person you are dealing with , pls be releasing it small small. Some people can't handle too much information

[@myramyra2]

I think one should be careful about when and what to disclose. I've made the foolish mistake of disclosing too much to guys I was not even in a committed serious relationship with and just in the dating and talking stage. I've been left feeling cheap and manipulated. I'm wiser now. I will only disclose everything if I get confirmation this will be my husband

[@BukolaRY_TV]

Hmmmmm.......Tosin....I will just say you are lucky. I will NEVER advice any one to make such confession at all. When dealing with a man, you have to pick and choose what information you want him to know about your past...AT THE BEGINNING OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP!

[@raqsonracks123]

Spot On Tosin !!!!! I appreciate that you added the timeline of when you should disclose your past experiences, too many people fall victim of disclosing prematurely at the "getting to know you" stage and wonder what went wrong! I for one thoroughly enjoyed this video, have a great day !

[@mercy-ray48]

You're my new favourite Christian KZbinr!

[@Boluwatifebig]

Great message - I agree with you. Also, it's one thing to be transparent and it's another to be truly changed. After being transparent, be ready to become accountable and ensure that you have truly repented and are converted, that way your partner will even trust and love you more. God bless you.

[@feyisikemioluwatusin5237]

Wonderful video and I couldn't keep my eyes off your orange eye-shadow. I'll definitely take more risks with my make up.

[@Omotokeo]

Love this video so much. Reminds me of when I was still young and naive, gave out information I had no business giving in a bid to save the relationship, anyways it still scattered 😂😂😂 Thank God nobody can die of heartbreak sha

[@eleanorforche6093]

This is so great...... Thank God u are a born again.... U hardly see it on social media from born again.... Thanks alot my sis... Love ur vblog

[@maryamkazy2896]

I love this video and i concur with most of the things said here, especially the part you said even if you need to go back to the Lord to reaffirm His will, you're so right. Restitution is a personal conviction from the Holy spirit, if a certain secret or past life might be use against you by the devil the spirit of God quickly convict you to let it out and He works with it from there and that's why we need to be sensitive to the spirit of God

[@saranghae2808]

Thanks for sharing sis! I believe that if you are in a serious committed relationship, you should be transparent, whether you "feel led" or not. This is a matter of integrity. It will likely hurt the marriage if afterwards, one spouse is finding out certain things about the other they were not told before. There should not be surprises. Now, be led or use wisdom regarding the extent to which you will reveal things. For instance, you might not reveal the identity of "your first", but you let them know you have had sexual experiences before.

[@toyinbankole9308]

The most vital statement you made is “did God send you?” If you enter without God and open your mouth without God oyo lo wa mhen. 😂😂😂 but I’m definitely for telling your soon to be spouse ( make sure you’ve received confirmation they are one God has ordained for you). Not telling the full truth or telling half truth is still a lie. Please open up and be rest assured His plans for your life are bigger than your past mistakes.

[@DwellinHope]

To be honest, I feel like if you end up pouring out your heart to someone to be transparent about who you were in the past and what you've done, and they end up running, doing all you can to try to get them back just shows that person may not necessarily be for you. Especially if you have agreed within your heart that you want to spend the rest of your life with them. Because during the course of the marriage, major tests and trials will arise. Is he or she going to just call it quits because they can't handle the pressure? So being able to stand in grace and forgiveness towards the person during courtship is major. It says a lot about the depth of that persons love towards you tbh. I like to see everyone through the lens of grace. There may be certain things the person i'm courting will tell me about themselves that does not and will not sit well with me, but if God has forgiven him then I have to rest in Gods forgiveness towards them. That's what it means to love a person unconditionally. To each their own, but nobody's past defines them. Awesome video though girl!

[@TosinAlabi]

Yup exactly what I said. However, someone being immature or emotionally incapable of dealing with information/pressure, doesn't mean they are not the one for you. Some people just need time to come in terms with the news/trials and also search their heart before they commit. During this phase we sure can extend that grace we've received to them too.

[@seunodegbami]

wonderful

[@rosemaryvigbedorh5587]

Good one Tosin❤

[@ChimdinmaLoisMelikam]

Tosin I Love you!!!! You're so apt and I agree with most of your views as a fellow believer... Keep up the good work of speaking the truth in Love....

[@GBONGBO]

My husband knows everything in terms of what I have been through. I had to because I was hurt too deep and he had to know that anything of such from him will be frowned on. Though I was later cautioned as it felt like I was comparing. I still had to tell him.

[@Catherineedeh]

The only problem your future spouse will have concerning the information you give about your past is that you're not a changed or new person. If you still do or act like your past, he/she will have a problem then

[@GracefullyKaren]

Right on point. Lol backflipped Tosin. I agree with everything you mentioned. Transparency is key. You are glowing oo :). God bless you Tosin.

[@winifredatusue3912]

This is so spot on! Thanks Tosin!

[@HelenBanjo]

We love you Tosin! Thank you for sharing so much wisdom

[@mesonraleoluwasola87]

Great Work! Blessed are thou and your family.

[@paulineosaghae2979]

If one is born again, old things are passed away and everything has become new. The person has confessed his or her sins to God, then why telling the spouse about the old sins when they were in the world. I am not sure if is necessary. If both spouse are born again and truely love each other then that may be done, but if one or both spouses are not born again it will pose a big problem. It may result in hot exchange of words. My take on this whole issue is that if one has confessed their sins to God and are forgiven, no need to give all information to your spouse, as old things have passed away as you have now become a born again. Basically you are not more in the world!

[@TosinAlabi]

ah ma I agree to an extent and thanks for your comment but I also disagree, some issues are sensitive and need to be shared so your future spouse has a clear understanding. E.g if you have been convicted of a crime, been to jail, had abortions, your genotype and many other examples. I truly believe not sharing poses more problems than sharing.

[@feyisikemioluwatusin5237]

I agree that old things have passed away but I believe that means that the future spouse will not judge you based on the information that existed in the past reality. But it is important to share. It may come out passively in conversations or you may decide to specifically discuss it but it really helps to understand the process God has taken a person through. It helps you understand some of the current choices the person makes and things like that.

[@TosinAlabi]

absolutely!

[@ama_says]

This video has been helpful. Thank you.

[@JR-xz2uq]

Great session. .. .. Please at 12:00 explain 'geno type'

[@seunodegbami]

wow...God bless you for this.

[@temiloluwadurojaiye]

Thanks for sharing this! 😊😘😘😘😘.

[@gracetv3757]

Nice video.Can you address if submission is needed before marriage?Thank you

[@Favybama]

The bible says submit to your own husband.....so until the man earns that title, you are at liberty.

[@nkeynkey]

Tosin I love the chat. Like you said your marriage is still just an infant. Pls pls Christianity or not. What you say today might be used against you if not handle well in the future. I believe all men where created almost same. Marriage is not rosey all the time. By d grace of God am almost ten years in mine and am still learning to keep my mouth shut.

[@oluwatomithomas180]

Thanks Tosin.

[@QueenEsthersDiaries]

🙌🙌🙌