Travel Ban Travel Guide Part 5: The USA

Ok, you asked for it, here is my list of reasons that its not such a bad thing you cant holiday in the USA at the moment.

[@ianm9018]

America. Also a place where you can be the world fucken champions of a sport without playing against the rest of the world.

[@fiasco348]

And if you ever do play the rest of the world, you cheat bigtime..

[@jaysongreen4255]

Fiasco3 Like Lance Armstrong?

[@peterschmidt9942]

Or even be a Universal Champion without even touching another person ;)

[@zapkvr]

America's cup

[@rwags6848]

Grunthos The Flatulent... it’s found it’s home in NZ.

[@DiaSol7]

🎯 🙋🏽‍♀️ I am American, and I approve of this message... 🤣😅😭

[@aspieotaku3580]

Same lol the tippings so true lol

[@nunyabiz6925]

Me 2 lol

[@f.t.cnation9999]

To all those pointing out that it was the 11th of September. He didn't get it wrong its a joke pointing out that its pretty much only America that uses that date format month day year. The vast majority of the world uses day month year going from smallest to largest but like always America likes to be difficult.

[@zapkvr]

That's not correct. UTC is expressed as CCYYMMDDHHMMSS.

[@f.t.cnation9999]

@@zapkvr that is a time format not a date and wile used world wide it is not actually how the majority of people say the time on a daily basis. And again it is in an order largest to smallest

[@kymnewman3518]

that would have been idiot yank sympathisers

[@Longtack55]

And that's "American Exceptionalism" in a nutcase shell.

[@johntomasik1555]

As an American, I find it hilarious he used that date. You'd be surprised how many of us 'Muricans are thick skinned and are already 'Hardened the fuck up".

[@enjolras76]

Omg love it love it. 9/11 took place on the 9th of November!!!! Well done Chopper love this one!

[@johayes7529]

That one was my family's conspiracy theory from day one! LOLOLO.. I just sent it to an American friend, they said he got almost EVERYTHING right, except for the date. Im still laughing .

[@blastermaster2383]

I was wondering how many people picked up on this one.

[@michaelhayward7572]

Lol.

[@Lancelot_Jago]

Haha! Score Chopper 1. USA appealing but still 0.

[@maz1980s]

@@johayes7529 so they didn't get the joke. 🤣

[@mityatarasov874]

As an American, I can confirm this was fuckin spot on. Keep it up, Chopper!

[@erikamartinezr2270]

Note to self: Do not watch Chopper’s videos at night when baby is asleep. I couldn’t wait to watch the video, laughed so loud and woke up the baby.

[@isf1984]

Would say do Russia next but I’m a bit worried a scary black van will pull up outside your and you’ll go missing 😶

[@allenjenkins7947]

The occupants of the van are more likely to be missing.

[@maryannegobbin]

America starts a war like my drunk friend Macca that is funny 😂

[@josh656]

American here, excellent summary of Hollywood, DC, and Vegas.

[@Mortum_Rex]

He's done it again! Onya Chopper! The best all-round description of the joint I've ever heard. Timeless stuff.

[@KYM54.]

Will stay in Australia chopper! Lol, america needs to think a little more! All cheese chopper!

[@haruhisuzumiya6650]

imagine a USA chopper

[@bobbrown8661]

Tandoori budgie 😂

[@saltydog888]

Standing with its butt sticking out😂

[@roostersbays95]

@@saltydog888 waitin for an envelope...

[@ghowell13]

I feel attacked. Probably because I'm American, and all of this was true😂 Bang on, and keep the vids coming, Chopper. Can't wait for the next country you roast! Cheers!

[@andrewthomas695]

It's funny because it is true! You deserve more views. Lots more, Chopper!

[@nicenonya3]

So funny I nearly spit out my cheese curds when you said we never talk about 11/9

[@g_regulator1695]

How does this guy not have more subs.

[@NickMurray]

These video are the truth the life and the way!

[@npg68]

I'm gonna sit back and wait for all the triggered salt to arc up.

[@darrenjray]

Love it, including that Die Hard reference like it was real. 😂

[@RayLong]

Guilty. Was literally eating cheese and crackers while watching this...

[@incomingshell3268]

Chopper......Keeping Australian's..Errr Tasmanian.....

[@BaMenace]

At least we don't have corona virus like the mainland

[@johntomasik1555]

0:26 That was the best laugh I've had in a long time. BTW, I'm an American Vet (unlike these last two lying cowards that got elected for President), and I approve this video!

[@diamondmidnightgardener]

You nailed it Hopper. I've long thought of the US&A of the world's rich drunk uncle who used to be a full forward / quarter back / local golden-gloves who wakes up with a hangover, a litre of vomit on his crusty errrrr-conquest, a defective pre-frontal cortex, swinging and punching the fuck out of anyone or anything that gets in the way of a greasy breakfast and a cheeky wank.

[@anniebooo]

Please do the Scandi-fcnk-navians. Thx

[@vickidianacoghlan8946]

Choppers videos are fucking priceless.

[@AusLanderJack]

I bet all mi mates in The States are gonna love this. Maybe some get a little buthurt, but then again, that is the goal. Well done mate, you did a ripper job. PS to all mi mates in Texas, Australia has bigger states than Texas! (had to add that in there). I hope that one of them does an American version of this with, let's say a Charles Manson type of character, then again, maybe not, idk. But you get the idea! Love it. Cheers.

[@stevegraham3817]

Oz also has cattle stations bigger than Texas.

[@sugarnads]

I think our smallest state is bigger than texas

[@johayes7529]

I got stuck on a MF 3 days an 5 nights bus trip from Sydney to Perth, with a Texan. That arsehat, nearly ended up like Neville Bartos. Oh everything is f##kin bigger in Tesarse! I thought I was the only povo gronk stupid enough to be on that bus the whole torturous trip. But, fuk nup, the worst AMeRkIn tourist on the planet, and mE!! 35 year's later it still gives me PTSD...Faaarrrkkkkkkk😱💩💩😱😱😱🤮

[@snookat]

but can you say Wisconsin correctly? and creek?

[@AusLanderJack]

@@snookat and the sound that dogs make, ruff instead of roof!

[@tanyaak9382]

Im from New Zealand but i love you !! Awesome guy

[@andyzhou9147]

Kia Ora, that dude from 7days

[@jackdaniels3507]

u r talented,,, very,, and of copy, ability,.,by of comedy....,.... respect my chopper ❤️

[@giorgiaxmas]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Bloody brilliant

[@nicholasjohnson3542]

You forgot to mention that American beer is basically water.

[@dawnbowra9349]

...and I say...why do we need dfat when we have your timely reports...🤘🏼😬😎

[@deborahwatson2432]

Omg! Love it!! ❤️🤣

[@markporter9738]

"Tandoori budgie" classic!

[@NaseerAhmad-vp8qg]

IVE LOVED YOU SINCE DAY FUCKIN 1....YOU ARE A FUCK N LEGEND, AND AN AUSSIE HOMEGROWN ICON.

[@simonlambe8347]

Another fucking hilarious video 😀😀😀

[@adambennett2737]

My mother puts salt on everything instead of cheese.

[@5ertified]

God, tick, Guns, tick with a Country music backing track. Nailed it.

[@avivabillington5514]

LOL, I agree with the travel ban from America 100% after hearing that too!! 😂🤣

[@TheAl6244]

Trump 2024

[@tribunal3316]

Brilliant “tandoori coloured budgie with a mirror saying it’s own name”. Full on brilliant but please correct the date for 9-11. 9 September not 9 November 2001 although I take it that’s Chopper’s slap at yanks getting the month and day around the wrong way!!! Cheers mate!

[@Shaunotto]

It’s clearly apart of the act

[@horikale6118]

r/woooosh

[@adammeyer6650]

Some things here are a typical non-American point of view, but damn this video was hilarious, and generally spot-on 😁

[@damfadd]

Charlie Sheen ha

[@nicenonya3]

I'm pretty sure the French were in Vietnam long before we needed to test our new weapons

[@rwags6848]

John Walker... but they left decent food...not Agent Orange (a continuing theme).

[@australiantruckspotting8883]

America has some of the most incredible national parks in the world but fuck that, let’s just get munted in Las Vegas 😂

[@harryd9782]

This is the funniest shit I've seen in a long time - because it's true.

[@youmenoww]

bloody hilarious and absolutely true

[@vannjunkin8041]

I giggled like a sick clown great job..🇺🇸 we're all living in America 🎶🎵🇺🇸

[@anthonycamilleri4443]

Brilliant mate,always loved your work,keep it up!👍👌

[@goran2009]

I miss America, best 6 weeks Holliday ever.. Mmmmmmm White Castle 🍔 in Las Vegas !!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[@RogueBoyScout]

My favourite part about my Holiday in The U.s.? Mexico. Sorry, but it's true. The U.S. is OK, but lately they have just all lost the plot a little bit. Bit to be fair, it was going to happen sooner or later in a country that places individual freedoms co-operation. But bless 'am, they love us, and we love them, in that "weird cousin who shoots birds with his air rifle" way...

[@coentrov]

Amazing, your best video so far. 😂😂😂❤️ Ps. just suscribed

[@sacha7607]

Saw chopper in front of the world map; *brain imagining chopper doing a forecast of the world* chopper: I'll give you a forecast of the entire f*ckin world for the next 2 years, it's f*uckin f*ucked lol

[@TheDragon1986z13]

Nice one chopper.. love you work. Dragon says hi

[@colleenreihana3668]

Too fuckn much chop keep it up m8t

[@djpomare]

Heil the King, Too much Chops! We're level 1 in NZ other than Auckland. I've got my golden ticket for your Wellington show. Fingers crossed, nothing fucks it up.

[@vickidianacoghlan8946]

The yanks don't drive on the right side of the road. LOL.

[@Tas-Devil]

I always say to Americans, you may drive on the Right side of the road but here in Australia we drive on the Correct side.

[@nicenonya3]

yes we do,you drive on the left

[@vickidianacoghlan8946]

@@nicenonya3 Johnny Yankee Walker your funny. HA HA HA!!!

[@captainsman]

Chopper to host the next Oscars

[@sghworldwide]

Bloody Ripper Chopper err !

[@mijodo2008]

Chopper you should have been a Politician, you sound like Donald Trump in his dreams.

[@waynemakka1324]

once when working as an assistant Photographer another photographer mate arrived at the studio after a bit of chat, my boss passed a note, How much does he owe you ? was the question , $1500 the reply. Too easy he said. I asked if he had a good debt collector, they both laughed, my sir name is Reid he said Chopper is my Uncle , they both laughed again.

[@batassassin7060]

For part 6 do UK

[@supatimmey715]

Fuckin brilliant!

[@MegaDavyk]

Pretty much nailed it.

[@JohnRolyAU]

On the 9th of November..... LMAO

[@IXtn]

Fucken great! But you don't get American dates, how about 9th of September...

[@pyfinx]

do a canada mate. lolz.

[@dclax77]

Do China Chopper! Tandoori Budgie lol

[@sydneyswesternsuburbs5756]

Chopper & Butterfield & Superwog the best Aussie comedians on KZbin today. We certainly have of our style of comedy and err ---- the rest of you ----!

[@janicekrieger1922]

Sydneys Western Suburbs don’t forget Ozzy Man

[@debochch]

To add to the list: Mining Boom How to Talk Australians Neel Kolhatkar Rory Lowe Comedy THE BIG LEZ SHOW OFFICIAL Tim Minchin

[@sydneyswesternsuburbs5756]

@@debochchThanks, I like Neel Kolhatkar, know Tim Minchin but will have to check out the others.

[@debochch]

Watch the series "Bruce" on How to Talk Australian. Absolutely brutally grim comedy. Pure gold.

[@sydneyswesternsuburbs5756]

@@debochch Just watched season 1, pissed myself laughing.

[@incomingshell3268]

It's 11th of September Uncle Chop Chop, Not 9th of Movember...... Lucky your not real good with numbers, I bet that's why you didn't get an invite to Neville's Bartos 50th....He missed your Birthday Surprise....Errrrr fucking booom.😂

[@johayes7529]

Best review ever! 😂😂😂🤘🦄

[@kiffaj9982]

Not bad chops,didn't even mind the qld jokes,pretty close actually. That's why we're overrun with southerners. Ha ha. Queenslander.

[@paulredinger5830]

I’m amazed how many people comment about a country they’ve NEVER BEEN TO.

[@ozsuncoast]

Thanks Chopper - you got USA right - very funny mate - just subscribed.

[@grantmiller6570]

Keep it real dude, rock on. Finally found a YT channel that's worth watching.

[@algernoncalydon3430]

Tipping. Absolutely confuses Aussies. Why, well they have to math. 20 percent of the 50 dollar meal is, uh, uh, uh. I don't know mate.

[@benjaminshiels1824]

Fuk'n Classic. Best Chopper vid yet!

[@peterschmidt9942]

And the country still using stupid imperial measurements. Any smart country converted to metric in the 60's. Not the US, pass me a 3/4 5/8 9/11 wrench son. I'm just going to cut this piece of wood at 8 & 3/64th inches. I just walked 4 & 9/32 miles. He's just thrown the ball down to the 22 yard line. Who's fucking yard did they measure and was it the front or back yard?

[@winonamika4891]

You, sir, are a National Treasure as an impersonator, right alongside the original Chopper I Will Remember You! I lived in your fair country for about 2 years, just after Chopper was released from prison. Bad boy he may have been, but there's not a funnier fucker walking the Earth today. Thank you for some great memories! Do plan in American tour once this CovID10T bullshit is over with. We would love to see you down in Alabama and Florida!

[@ufargarnidgit1927]

Geez Chop, if you had a dollar for everyone who thought you got your dates wrong, you'd have more money than Trump's paid in taxes.... EVER!!!!

[@peterstone172]

I liked this guy's clips until this one. I take offense to all this anti American talk. Ok, here is the alternative: America does not intervene and allows genocides etc. A bit like walking past a woman being bashed on the street. The standard you accept and walk past is the world you live in. The Americans I know are friendly, big hearted respectful people. The USA did not give us Coronavirus, China did. Make a video about China?

[@dmkappa62]

Uncle chop chop. Its 11th of September not 9th of November! Or it was an ironic statement considering the yanks say the date like muppets. If so, good on ya chop

[@noone4592]

My Cali gf when I was 25 mentioned not to go to half of it.... CArjacking was the main crime then on highways. Shoulda married her, her daddy was rich.

[@DEATH2thaSTUpid]

Absolute gold..thanks Chop👍👍🍺🍺🍻

[@michaelparker120]

Bloody legend, you said what I think and know 👍👍👍

[@cathylegg530]

They're just good at movies

[@ryansherlock800]

On the 9th of November😂🤣I'm fucking done😂🤣😂

[@okboomahfromblackrod2939]

I've a top notch recipe for Tandori Budgie. It involves Tony Abbott and beer and a huge firepit.

[@coopsnz1]

Everything cheaper, USA doesn't have federal sales tax

[@ronlibbis7160]

yes chopper you have the yanks worked out to a T

[@ufargarnidgit1927]

World Coronavirus Champions, daylight to second.

[@jennifertheyowiehunter8753]

Chopper is the ultimate Bernie supporter

[@kiwidiesel5071]

Bravo Heath that was golden cheese globe work there, fukn funny as shit.

[@01Mattress]

Should do Japan in one of these. The cars and animation alone would provide enough material for a vid 😂

[@markhills3922]

You pretty much summed the place up Chopper..... Cheese, cheese and more fuckn cheese!

[@malcolmmathers2690]

yer the land off miles gallons they even got there own bolt threads i believe the water goes down the drain the wrong way 2 WTF.

[@kaiberberich1]

Love your work - Chopper Heath... First saw the chopper act live years ago - PMSL !! And I reckon Chopper would have been too !!!

[@TheFoundersofJoy]

Awesome vid!! Inspiration for my travels. Peace!

[@geoffkelly66]

9th of november? pmsl

[@slayerking69]

Tandoori fuckin budgie I can't stop laughing

[@letsseeif]

Films like "Shaving Ryan's Privates."

[@12monkeys64]

Thumbs down are all from Nevile Bartos...