TRIBE above SELF Needy?

www.ObjectiveP...

[@elainecary2884]

Feeling called out by the remark about how IJ’s and EP’s outsource systems. I cling to my spreadsheets, habit trackers, and endless lists to convince myself I have everything under control lmao.

[@zachonias]

Came here to write this.

[@hanavgc4264]

When I was a kid and teaching myself how to pack lunch, or do other house chores, I had to leave a note for myself to take the lunch every morning until I built the habit. My ESTJ sister would always be like, “I don’t understand, why can’t you just remember to take it?” Lol

[@absinthesesotericadventure7631]

Better than me I am total opposite

[@pamelam4]

This is me. I have two planners - one for work and one for life stuff that are full of habit trackers and check lists and they make me feel better just to have them.

[@pamelam4]

@@hanavgc4264 I do the same thing with taking my multivitamin every morning. I won't remember if I don't look in my planner when I get up to check it off the list.

[@SnoozeTheRecluse]

"Will, how did you reproduce?" LOL

[@box-of-chocolates]

Being an ExxJ myself, I can totally relate with the "not good enough" and the f... neediness. But for some reason, there seems to be a limit programmed into me: I will constantly seek validation from the tribe, but when it comes to physical challenges/danger, Te switches sides and falls in line with Fi. E.g. I've behaved like a stubborn IxxP when group pressured into climbing a pole at a stupid team building event. But it made me feel really guilty, though...

[@JeriahMiller]

Box of Chocolates ExxJ here. what you said at the end is exactly right, I feel that way too. I will feel incredibly and horribly guilty for not going along with the tribe. And I feel a lot of pressure and obligation to do “the right thing”, the best thing, or whatever everyone else is doing. IxxP’s don’t feel guilty for not going along with the tribe, in fact they will reject tribe validation even if they need it because they don’t want it.

[@AK-jt7kh]

@@JeriahMiller I don’t know about that last bit...or at least, I feel like it needs more detail. I’m an INTP and I definitely want tribe validation - but I want it in terms of what I do, not me as a person. I constantly feel like I’m “not good enough”, but in my mind, the way to be good enough is to be able to impress other people with the way I think or the things I can do. Possibly, because I value my Ti so much, I expect other people to respect rationalizing the way that I do, and I assume that feelings alone aren’t good enough. I do tend to feel that way when showing love to other people. I tend to believe that displaying emotions toward others isn’t enough, and I have to impact them in some way with my words or by doing something. Or it could be that I’m an unusually extroverted INTP. 🤷‍♀️

[@yes7855]

@@AK-jt7kh that honestly sounds like Te... 🤔 But I agree, IPs would still need validation everyone does, and I imagine would probably feel some guilt although not as much as EJ, if they think their reasoning was right.

[@sophiaredwood5825]

As a Savior Di (ENFP) I can confirm that I want tribe validation too, but my way of achieving that is to be the best I can be and to follow my own aspirations. I’m a huge perfectionist and I never feel good enough in many areas. But it’s all insanely personal, even down to the little things; like, for instance, my Fi actually hates it when people give me compliments I don’t identify with. The compliment can be big or small or relevant or not. Doesn’t matter. If someone prides me on being good at something that I personally believe I fall short in, I’ll actively shake my head, correct them, and reject their validation. (Which creates an awkward dynamic in conversation. It’s a bad habit I’m trying to break.) I want external validation, but I don’t feel as if I ever deserve it until I think I’m good enough. I think that’s how the Di mind works. And I think the De mind is the opposite; it doesn’t think it’s good enough until it has external validation.

[@kindauncool]

+@@sophiaredwood5825 Did you end up breaking the habit?

[@heatherbryant4197]

How do you get these people to realize their strong Te (which they think is so "objective" and unbiased and untainted by emotion, or "squishy shit" as I've heard ExTJs call it) really stems from that scared little Fi hiding in the corner? I once tried telling a Te-user that anger is a secondary emotion that often stems from fear and he looked at me in disbelief, like I was crazy.

[@effschulz1199]

My husband (INFP) figured out THE WAY: Whenever I "Te" the hell out of him, he just smiles, gives me a hug, pats my back and says: There, there! Leaves me completely disarmed and puzzled. This really helped me discover the little squishy, wounded Fi inside of me :-)

[@entropy8000]

My boss is ESTJ and acts like he has a thick skin but things happen at work and he gets so worked up and angry, and then acts like he's over it but then still keeps bringing that thing up, and i just think to myself, his alpha male image and CCW seems ironic in these situations

[@cattyping2635]

I feel like anger comes from disappointment or when someone's values are trampled on, or when someone fucks with you

[@heatherbryant4197]

@Remy B I would disagree that fear never enters into the equation, but I do think that disappointed expectations (+ being outcome-dependent) might be a better way to describe the catalyst. Think about a wounded wild animal who feels like it's backed into a corner. When you reach out to try to help it and it growls and scratches you, where is that coming from? Fear. With complex human interactions, sometimes it's more like fear of not being taken seriously or disrespected, fear of people with values you don't agree with taking over, fear of being late for work thus getting road ragey at the traffic light, fear of not being able to make ends meet thus getting mad at foreigners who "take all our jobs," (though anger towards any groups who are different can also be rooted in fear of the unknown) etc. Maybe not always. It could be another emotion like feeling humiliated or rejected or hurt for example. Really anything that causes cognitive dissonance. Though not everyone will react with anger in those situations. But I do think your explanation of expectations is accurate, and perhaps more readily understood.

[@heatherbryant4197]

@@entropy8000 Very relatable. When combined with Si to ruminate on past outrages and complain, the behavior comes across as very whiny, nagging, and even sensitive, which are seen as (negative) stereotypically feminine traits, which kind of betrays the tough guy image, though in reality I suspect it's ironically revealing the source of all that machismo. That soft, squishy core, or gooey center, if you will.

[@JesterOfDestiny]

It's interesting, that as a Ti dominant, I kind of relate to this, but from the other side. I also have that "You're no good enough" voice in my head, but it's not coming from the inside. My inside tells me I'm the greatest. No, it's coming from the outside. And that's where my savior Ti jumps in goes "fuck those people, they don't know how awesome you are!" But then, at some point I realize I'm lonely and it might actually be a good idea to listen to that outside voice from time to time. Though there's my personal issue, with the series of toxic friendships and bullying from my childhood, where that outside voice was manifesting itself in a very overbearing, even destructive way, so letting my Ti open me up to some of it is an especially hard thing to do. I learned how to translate it to a less destructive voice, but I still don't feel like I have it conquered.

[@melisasegura4054]

I'm sure you'll end up conquering it! Much love from a Fi dominant user :)

[@PowerRedBullTypology]

@@melisasegura4054 How do you experience that (the thing jester described)?

[@berkaytugrel9084]

It's demon Fe. You should practice it more. I also have demon fe and it is so hard to care about others. I consciously try to do my best to practice it.

[@cassm7679]

Can you do a video one day about INTPs or just savior Ti and the implications of that

[@frankluis4653]

I second that motion

[@VTdarkangel]

Savior Ti definitely.

[@Link-ny9xz]

@@VTdarkangel what is a Ti. im new to this

[@Link-ny9xz]

I don't quite understand the saviors or the demons. the "T" reprtesents the t in INTP?

[@cassm7679]

@@Link-ny9xz So there are 8 cognitive functions and Ti stands for introverted thinking (Ti is one of the 8 cognitive functions). Ti is the INTPs first cognitive function and thus their primary way of interacting with the world.

[@malcolmmacinnis247]

Lol its like i don't even realise im feeling that emotion like i start crying and in my head im like......."whyre u crying youre right"

[@PumpkinSoup1234]

Thank you for no hiding your vulnerability and allow us to understand it SO much better. And you look so strong embracing your vulnerability.

[@thescowlingschnauzer]

Huh. As an INTP I do this in reverse. My 4Fe will want to get together with people or want to confront someone, but my 1Ti needs to find a reason before I'm allowed. The feelings outside have be subordinate to my reasons, instead of my feelings having to be subordinate to the tribe's reasons like 1De4Di/ExxJs.

[@fabinounet]

I'm the same. One of the way it manifests is, for example, I feel uncomfortable "just hanging out", I need to share an activity I enjoy with people (whatever it is) to spend time with them. Otherwise, the Ti says "I'm bored" and spoils the moment.

[@BakaryD]

As an ISTP, I can relate to that. I won't find a logical reason And then 3Ni will be like "This is meaningless anyway"

[@timo4258]

The way I understand it, trying to make sense of things for yourself (Ti) inherently goes against taking into account the feelings and values of others (Fe). If all you do is ignore group values and try to find logical reasons instead, then you can drift too far from fitting in with the group. This can cause a painful feeling of not fitting in and you are forced to cast your persistant reasoning aside and just "go with the flow". So it's not like you need to find a reason before getting together with people, it's more like you do it way too much (not find a good reason to hang out) and sometimes just need to cast finding any reasons aside and go out. Something like that..

[@AK-jt7kh]

@@fabinounet I never realized I was like this until you said something

[@mars9399]

As an ENFJ my reasons are also subordinate to my Ti reasons, or tribe reasons. Maybe because I'm the strange version BSCP, with Sleep so high up and my lead Fe being suppressed much more. I'm an odd mixture of selfless acceptance and heartlessness. Each action has its own place and time. Each version of me also has its own place and time. Imm not so sure how there is a stereotype of Fe leads being manipulative, I can see how some people might think its underhanded for us to be so hidden with our own feelings and reasons (well why do they have to know? They don't.), but from my experience lead Ni (covert manipulation) or even ENTJs (overt manipulation) are the most manipulative. Perhaps that's just my experience with my Feminine Fe, I accept everyone as they are, no matter how twisted, until they jeopardise and conflict with my Ti.

[@jennahumphrey1]

Shannon maybe you don't feel good enough--I think a lot of women struggle with this, regardless of type--especially mothers. But for the record, I think you're amazing.

[@wes2262]

Dave and Shannon make a good couple. You can tell they compliment each other well. I notice how they flawlessly piggyback off one another.

[@swad2315]

Looking at the examples is a good example of decider pain

[@PersonalityTurtle]

OMFG Chelsea Handler is one of my favourite people on the planet, her inner FI conflict is absolutely adorable in some instances yet also incredibly sad to watch unravel when she's unconsciously grieving, god shes entertaining, a godess, i adore her hahha

[@EnidFPatternson]

Haha, love the extro clip. And that was a great point about inborn temperament being a key determinant of why, for example, it's not unusual for it to seem sometimes as if one's siblings didn't have the same parents as oneself or as each other when it comes to which "issues" each child would need to take to a therapist or self-help section, or when there are divergent recollections or interpretations around a holiday dinner table of shared past family events.

[@orangeziggy348]

Each child has a different relationship with their parental figure, from the beginning, having nothing to do with personality or functions, bc the parent does treat each child differently. A mother might abandon their first child and not their third. Or abuse their first child but not their third.

[@Ushii01]

I just found this channel today and listened to ten plus videos. I am ROTFL. This is truly an awesome channel. You open the door of the MBTI barn, kick out the cows, smear the pig’s lipstick with your middle finger and tell the chickens ‘I don’t care if you f’ing came first because I am eating a chicken breakfast burrito in the morning”. Keep up the awesome stuff.

[@Vice_Verse0]

Yeah, this helped put Extj out of the running for me effectively. When I was younger, I wanted validation from the tribe. As in I tried to make friends in school, but most of my class didn't really like me. Mostly because of the teacher praising me for getting the best scores on tests. One of those "So far only X is doing the best on these tests and the rest of you are slipping." Moments, made it really hard for me to connect with others. So I just didn't and made no friends for many years. I guess that's the main difference in decider functions? Being able to turn one on and the other off instantly? I can equally want validation and not need any at all.

[@79Lexxus]

ALL humans want validation, I guessssss it's just the degree that's in question

[@leahjn7198]

I'm confused. If Fi = self values and Te = tribe reason, why is "the tribe wants me to eat the ckicken" Te instead of Fe? I understand it as "the tribe would like it, if I eat the chicken" (subjective) and not as "here is a list of reasons why the tribe wants me to eat the chicken"

[@timo4258]

Right!? Maybe it stems from the demon Fi, she is like "damn I really hate doing this but maybe there are good reasons for continuing and I should stop being a sissy"? A savior Fi would likely just decide nah i don't like this hot chicken i'm not doing it, I wonder what demon Te would be like here tho.

[@enriqueibarra9096]

She asked for "rules" right away, and what other people thought of people who kept eating the wings.

[@pauljackson6648]

Be careful of the double-activated De demons. I was typed as Di saviour but this is extremely relatable. Moreso than any of the Di stuff that's for sure.

[@JeriahMiller]

Paul Jackson I’m Te/Se but I have double activated Fi. The activation is very interesting, it explains why I’ve always been pretty aware of how bad I was at my feelings but I didn’t know what to do about it. If you have double activated De then you would be very aware of it as well and can relate to it

[@pauljackson6648]

@@JeriahMiller - yeah, I relate for sure.

[@einsame_Maria]

Oh my Goddess, this is me. So, I want to dye my hair pink. And what I'm doing? I keep asking everyone if that would be good for me. Fortunately, they agree hahah I spent a year wanting to cut my hair short (I had it really long) And why did I finally do it? I found a charity which you give your hair to so they can make wigs for cancer patients.

[@JeriahMiller]

Einsame M haha classic ExxJ.

[@Vice_Verse0]

I'm going to guess EXFJ?

[@einsame_Maria]

@@Vice_Verse0 INTJ(Ni/Te), I have thought for the longest time that I was an INFJ, but it turns out really, I have Te, not Fe. It's just that even when my Fi is weak, my Se is weaker, so I don't think there can be any way that I'm not an INXJ The Te/Fe thing though confused the hell out of me

[@Vice_Verse0]

@@einsame_Maria Ah, I was kind of the opposite for a long time. I swear I'm more INFJ than INTJ, but everytime I use it to people who know me, they tell me, "No, you're a thinker. You hardly pay too much attention to the feelings of others and you're constantly trying to figure things out." Which is true, I don't make focusing on people's feelings my main focus when it doesn't seem sensible to some degree. I also don't go out of my way often to argue or battle out thoughts with other people though. Usually when I do, I do so in a way where people don't really get bothered, and I don't impede on others either.

[@einsame_Maria]

@@Vice_Verse0 doesn't that just mean that you have Ti as a savior and Fe as a Demon? I think it would perfectly explain that. I don't like arguing when I'm not sure I'm right, but when I know I'm right and I know how to prove it, I go all in. Like writing long essays to prove my ship is canon or some hidden meaning in a book. I know I'm an Ni leading person because being focused on some abstract shit for days watching the same movie or TV series 32 times and reading 20 different articles on the same damn topic, or watching all the videos on the same topic is my primary state.

[@Wingedmagician]

*FOR THE PEOPLE*

[@capybara2747]

That last clip blew my mind in the weirdest way possible lol. Hearing an actor make a joke about pirating movies just felt so strange to me. Like, a person who works within the movie industry first-hand would “normally” not pirate films because I think they would be aware of how much time and effort goes into making those. But hearing it come out from an actor’s mouth is just so funny to me because it makes me realize that they are also aware of that. 😅😂

[@emailgothacked]

thank you so so so much for this videos. It really means a lot.

[@jaimebanks5794]

I'm pretty sure Chelsea Handler is not a Te Dominant. I think she is Ne-Fi-Te. I am also "ENFP", and I will sometimes do things to impress others that I do not actually enjoy and may even dislike strongly. I think Chelsea is very insecure, hence why she comes off as so mean so much of the time, and I can relate and know other ENFPs like this too - ornery and using too much of our Te for our own comfort, living in self-conflict. She rambles in a Ne-Te way. She talks in the videos about coming to copes with her vulnerability. I relate to this and I am definitely not Te Dom. I think she is just finally coming into processing using her Fi, her preferred function by nature, which she has been avoiding using her tertiary for most of her life. Watch Jerry Seinfeld in interviews sometime - another angry, insecure ENFP who acts like an arrogant "T" type. I relate to these people as I lived in a Ne-Te loop for most of my life and am coming out of it due to necessity now. It's very stressful to live in a way that ignores the preferred decision making function, it's a response to early trauma in my opinion. Thanks for the videos, they are great. Your perspective on function theory makes sense to me. Just wanted to add my thoughts on Chelsea's type.

[@anonnymus1227]

I have a similar situation with the woman you guys showed in the video. Except it's not my brother dying, it's my father making promises and never fulfilling them, and seeing every guy (including my dad) ending up cheating on their partners and are compulsive liars. Right now I still have those trust issues with guys, where I see them as this not trustworthy heartbreaker. I think what I truly hated was toxic masculinity, so I'm really trying my best to understand that there are guys who aren't like my father and maybe my connections are only limited. But it is hard when every time you see that maybe "Hey, this guy's different", they end up just being the same and you even hear for yourself them admitting "well, guys will be guys", and to be honest. Idk anymore. I have more important things to deal with anyways. Fuck dudes. Don't need no man lol. Edit : Also because of my "trust issues", I pushed away every person in my life who's ever taken an interest in me. It's like there's this just weird and awkward feeling like, "no. I don't want a relationship lol. Go away please." but at the same time there's this LONGING for someone to care.

[@noturbo]

I love you go away is my motto

[@someonerandom713]

"This thing happened and it must mean this" Surely makes sense in terms of single deciders. But also, I could see it explained through shadow Ne. Granted I typed myself correctly as an ENxJ, that'd put my Ne at the sixth slot, the "critic", according to some frameworks. I see it in myself and other ENxJs that we tend to perceive only one or two out of actually many, many possibilities - and then completely Ni narrow down on the few possibilities we are aware of, not even considering that the truth could very well be something else. Sixth slot Ne is on very low awareness, very pessimistic and super quick to lead the more conscious Ni to jump to conclusions. Ni tunnelvision through shadow Ne.

[@brittanys8217]

Oh my. I'm not even an EXXJ and this is too real. Hurray I'm needy AND fiercely independent!!!😣😣 My Fi is broken I think🤔. I wonder, are most Enfps tribe over self? This is internally conflicting cause I wanna be independent. Omg.

[@AntiAuthority55]

Brittany S I know I’m dominant savior Ne and inferior demon Si. I’m still not sure If my Fi or Te is savior or demon.

[@spannycat2]

I'm an ENFP who is self above tribe. I'm motivated by self-interest and mood. Not tribe validation.

[@annnnnnnnnn1188]

honestly this is confusing me even more whether i'm an IP or EJ in ops, bc i might be an IP with sleep last thus having the sense of responsibility to ask the tribe for permission to do what my Fi wants but i could also be an EJ that has high sleep

[@cecidoo4003]

how can you tell if someone is living their life in their demon state ?

[@readingbetweentheframes]

Wow this one hit pretty hard. Thank you guys for this. Seriously.

[@TheNicMMc]

I feel that this is a mixture of the animals of blast and play within the ExxJ. the ExxJs have both extroverted function in the loops of first and third function which is interesting because for IxxP it's their play state of second function and fourth function and which means that they need to be in this state from time to time, but when Exxj is nearby, they have corner animal look on their faces; like they need to do something to get rid of that uncontrollable play energy by blasting.

[@andrewthomas3253]

DAMN this is interesting! I just wish there was some sorta introduction video to this concept! I don't understand what all these letter groups mean... :/ Help...?

[@alicealexandrescu4549]

Exploring both sides of the mainstream coin in politics, and that last sentence is everything.

[@patrickvernon4766]

You guys find the perfect videos this is amazing haha

[@StephLovesLife007]

Intelligent women are also highly susceptible to imposter syndrome and feeling like they’re not good “enough” especially when they rely on Te/Ti as a savior. :( I really feel for you Shan!!

[@SJ-ej3vj]

I've always wondered if this has something to do with cultural expectations of women. In alot of societies, women are expected to have Fe.

[@kellie8468]

This was me just yesterday! I’m just stating facts you can’t possibly disagree with me? It’s really please don’t disagree with me. I don’t think I am scary but I have had that affect on people. I can’t lose my people so I’m need to tone it down. I probably wouldn’t but I won’t take the chance. The I am not good enough is always in the back of my mind.

[@longlakeshore]

Outsourcing = projection. Myers-Briggs doesn't measure or predict the effect of childhood or other traumas.

[@k.strive46]

itd be rlly cool if someone made a series called explaining types with types. and u prtty much gt, let's say... an intp and they explain what being an intp means, the functions and everything CRRCTLY.

[@shetheyandkindagay]

Ugh I feel this!! And I totally relate to the outsourcing! I started using a calendar app and that like saved my life!! So would you say the MBTI profiles for ExTJs is at least picking up on their peacocking? Like maybe some ExTJ is who’s coming from some state of insecurity would feel good that their type is being said to be all confidant and stuff. Does that makes sense?

[@malcolmmacinnis247]

The conscience thing is soooooo hard

[@BekaEllen]

My thing was that my parents didn't seem to have time for me for a couple of years because they lost a couple babies. I was the oldest and then the siblings I have now, I didn't think wanted me around. They actually didn't go through that experience though.

[@reemabakshi4758]

As a Di I don’t relate, but this was beautiful ❤️ I wonder what my issues are

[@billbirkett7166]

Is Leslie Knope from Parks and Rec ENTJ or ENFJ? She comes absolutely to mind with this topic.

[@dashontwowheels]

This was insightful! Thank you.

[@MetalGearIV]

5:28 - 6:36 Dave - shan = 😐☹

[@austinharris7653]

I think this whole “needy” is perfect! Because that little voice in the back of my head doesn’t give a fuck about validation it’s procrastination lol how can I do what I want and put off what others want me to do but like still make them happy lol

[@AS-jq4lb]

Myers-Briggs nailed INFP? really? i fail to see it - as do many of my fellow INFPs.

[@rachelcastillo9035]

Are artists Fe? " "I am independent, and do my own thing" then after critique " Man, I suck."

[@TheDannixs]

better quality than usual

[@timo4258]

I just realized, Te can looks so similar to Si in a way. What should be done vs what is the correct way to do something. So when someone is constantly complaining that they should clean their room more, it could be demon Te also, not necessarily Si!?

[@yes7855]

3:22 have there ever been people who tapped out on the wings? 😂 seems like most people go with it and suffer lol

[@Hyurno]

Wow

[@AntiAuthority55]

She’s on some uppers here 🔥

[@GeorgeWard14]

Meyers briggs is itself a system to which you outsource stuff

[@jamesd4520]

Poor chelsea she should of trained for it or numbed her tongue lol, Its alot harder for people who never eat spicy stuff and than you gotta think and talk... I feel for her. Im INFP and I think I would force myself as much as I can and try not to show weakness and my Fi will obviously be screaming but I care what people think too much lol

[@crazydesignerone]

Holy shit u came a while from RC videos!

[@wearejungians]

ARE HUMANS REALLY THIS PREDICTABLE?! JESUS

[@BC-pl3df]

Scream yes, that’s the power of this and it makes me wonder why this personality stuff is being downplayed as pseudoscience when it’s scary accurate.

[@sophiaredwood5825]

@@BC-pl3df Couldn’t have said it better

[@natclo9229]

You're not good enough *sexy voice

[@RaviSingh-vf3he]

wow... 💜

[@wearejungians]

This level of introspection makes me uncomfortable, ya bastards!

[@cherishtheday2223]

I’m crying

[@APFOE]

What is the name of the lady representing the tribe? Pretty interesting stuff!!

[@Dolph-fe2ks]

12:10 🤣🤣🤣

[@brennenhrebeniuk9661]

What do the letters above each list mean like the CS/B(P)?

[@brennenhrebeniuk9661]

@@Username-er7qu please explain

[@KajsaBernhardina]

C is consume, S is sleep, B is blast, P is play. These are called Animals. The order is from saviors to demons.

[@KevinPaterson]

CS/B(P) = Consume Sleep Blast Play (missing) Consume = Oe + Di Sleep = Oi + Di Blast = Oi + De Play = Oe + De De = Te or Fe Di = Ti or Fi Oe = Ne or Se Oi = Ni or Si

[@lucymooon]

I think I have self and Te...

[@nataliewantscookies]

Chelsea is so funny 😂

[@devinbailey4725]

I'm not sure I can agree . Seems like..... Doesn't seem original

[@UrbanArtCentral]

What is chelsie's type exactly?

[@TristanLouisino949]

if you are stressed by tribe reasons you are infp (inferior te) if you are stressed by tribe values you are intp (inferior fe) if you are disinteressed by tribe reasons you are infj (te plor) if you are disinteressed by tribe values you are intj (fe polr)