Tripp Fontane Warns Black Men Living Up To 'Unreal Standards': Men Are Honestly Scared

hypersclub.com/ - Continuing our talk with Tripp Fontane, the online speaker and creative takes on the concept of black masculinity. Tripp goes on to warn men who attempt to live up to a standard that appears unbalanced. Instagram: @ComedyHype & Twitter: @ComedyHype_

[@iamheeeem]

Met this brotha when I was out shopping with my 3 sons. The dude is mad intelligent, and humble. I'm glad I introduced my boys to him. And dapped him up. Because he was shopping too. My oldest asked if he was famous or whatnot. I showed him some of his clips. And he asked why didn't I take a pic with him. I told my son. "He's a man just like me. I respect what he does. I don't idolize him. I wish him well and hope he can connect to the generation that's coming up."

[@jordanglasper1064]

These are the types of people who should be idolized. Cuz Dey not tryna pull the wool over our eyes. And Dey keep it real. Unlike most out there.

[@blacknerdtalks7921]

Beautiful stuff my g. You're an A1 dad, keep at it🙏🏿🙏🏿

[@juswolf22]

You ain’t gotta idolize someone to get a pic wit them.

[@blacknerdtalks7921]

@@juswolf22 you shouldn't idolize anyone, period bros.

[@princedejour2686]

I don't know if individuals on here know the true definition of idolizing someone! Getting a picture with someone does not mean you are idolizing them! If I could I would ask MLK, Malcolm X or Ali for a picture and I guess that is a negative. Make it make sense.

[@StayViben]

It’s not 1975 anymore. The Juice is not worth the squeeze anymore. You can be financially, mentally, physically and emotionally stable and still get the short end of the stick. Cut your losses fellas and chase peace

[@blkheromusic]

This sound suspect af

[@princedejour2686]

It sounds like some info commercial! Enjoy yourself Diddy JR!

[@invadercem2]

This sounds logical. If you find a good thing, keep it. It’s not as hard as many of our lost brothers make it seem. Heal, get whole. Patch what you missed. Cause some of our traumatized brothers are painting the world and other black men from a limited view that was taught to them.

[@girumseifu6151]

Correct nice comment don’t listen to the first two comments they have nothing to expand upon explaining themselves so I agree totally with your statement Chase peace Chase improvement and if something comes your way, that makes sense except the blessing and be blessed

[@mufasa1794]

@@princedejour2686 😂😂😂😂

[@JustRaine97]

WE pay the bills at our house! We both went to college, graduated and got to work. I don’t expect my husband to pay all the bills. I work, he works...we work together. We have a child and we do it all together. I'm not doing all the house work, and he doesn't pay all the bills. We work together to build a life, build wealth, and raise our daughter. You can't expect a man to do it all. My husband COULD pay all the bills, but he loves that I contribute as well and I want to contribute to take any stress off of my husband. Hell its all going to the same cause....US!😂

[@wills.9422]

Salute 🫶🏾

[@crw3673]

You are a rare one, now a day queen! 👸 These delusional chicks now a days think prince charming is going to come and make everything perfect. You realize it takes 2 good incomes to live a certain lifestyle. Their is nothing wrong with a man cleaning and cooking. If more women can realize you can get more if we both pull together, our community would achieve more!

[@theteamleader]

Salute a lot of women are not paying 💩 and expect the man to pay for everything and still not cook and clean.

[@keimyung8824]

Then you need to start a podcast and a wife school. Because the preponderance of opinion is that the male must be the sole financial provider. And then over time the wife relieves herself of some of her gender roles (ie cooking) so that the man can cook a few times a week. However, the man is still responsible for the mortgage/rent.

[@RealEpicWork]

You a real one

[@jeromejenkins151]

I hate conversations like this. Who set the standard? Why is it the standard? Who was the first person to compare? Why should I care what anybody other than me thinks about me? Who told these people that their opinions matter. Words like proper,standards,levels,who in the hell told yall these things even exist? Better question...Why do yall try to live up to it? Man do what you do and leave behind everybody who aint with it. Its really just that simple to me. Some men appreciate the simple life. Some men are ambitious. Neither man is wrong.

[@blkheromusic]

I see u not trapped in the matrix. Kudos bruh...these convos is so tiring. Instead of questioning the entire convo like u...everybody just fall in line and picks a side.

[@jeromejenkins151]

@@blkheromusic in a minute ain't nobody gone be at the bar or on the dance floor because everybody too busy trying to be the one on stage. (If you get my metaphor).

[@danteprice1874]

At 29 i lost hope im thinkin bout killin myself i dont even believe in God anymore

[@trappedineuphoria3416]

Right dogg, wtf is this new sheit?!? Find the one that's for you and make that ish work and keep it moving...and just saying, worse experience I had was with a white woman...I don't encounter issues with black women but I'm also not a F Boy either

[@derronjacckson223]

Only valid comment. Simplicity is peace. We literally go out and find mundane shit to worry and war about, instead of transferring that energy to fixing more objective problems in the world.

[@ShayTheAntiFeminist]

The reality is that most men don't make enough money to take care of all the bills. Sad but true.

[@Solotv84]

That part, and I don't think women realize that, and those top guys that meet that criteria the competition is fierce

[@allegrap1054]

People had less years ago but were still together so that anti-Black family propaganda isn’t working anymore

[@allegrap1054]

@@Solotv84Relationships are not competitions

[@silentlamont]

​@@Solotv84They understand this. Its basic reality. This is simply busy work attempting to get back on offense after the internet has exposed them

[@riddickj16]

Exactly we have to be honest when having these conversations

[@GeneratorOperatorDestroyer]

The regular guy have to step away from “Trick” behavior… Not just with women. With the system itself.

[@renardbennett75]

That’s a bar. I’m coming to terms with that myself tbh

[@truettadevil]

@@GeneratorOperatorDestroyer with himself.

[@teranjames152]

You preaching!

[@pettynettie5514]

This is exactly what came to my mind as well. Time to grow up, select a partner while you're young, and BUILD A LIFE TOGETHER. And fortunately, black women are not strangers to building. We've been building alone for decades. Time for brothas to stop "trickin" on women and start building with them.

[@BlkOnyx0508]

@@pettynettie5514🎉

[@elhar5966]

Get money, stay single. Don’t play the strategy game with these women. Protect your money and you will protect your peace. 💯

[@tuckmeshillings7350]

Speaking the truth right here.💯

[@AquarianIntellect02]

I agree and Women should do the same.

[@keyzraptor32gamer54]

You can live that same life in jail

[@lukasbalchunas1272]

@@keyzraptor32gamer54 Why do you need to go to jail? You can date beautiful transgender women and live a happy life.

[@lamontewilliams2020]

@@lukasbalchunas1272😂💀

[@jfelton3583]

"Black women are strong" this narrative is so problematic and it's fkd up that it correlates being difficult and combative as strong because that's really what it is

[@blkheromusic]

The real problem is it places them as a monolith which they are not becuz nobody is....and yes strength doesn't equate to "being challenging".

[@jordanglasper1064]

Notice this, u hear Goddesses & Gods sayin “Goddesses are strong.” For at least 100 years. Why have we never heard 1 Goddess in nearly 100 years say “Gods are Strong.” Bcuz mentally they feel we are weak. Even other Gods feel that way. We gotta break the mind control. Our race is the only one that accepts bs catchphrases given us by our enemy.

[@princedejour2686]

I worked consistently over 70 hours a week and that is because I like nice things like a car, apartment, traveling, a home and I love Black women! Black males are not passing away because they are trying to do it all! That is asinine logic! Black males are dying because of criminal activities, drugs, gangs, addiction, oppression, mental health, their mentality and the choices they make!

[@rmonty330]

Headstrong and strong in attitude and tone and rebuttal. That isn't true in a general sense?🤔

[@swanm3ta850]

Black women aren’t the only race of women who are combative and headstrong

[@enzigenes]

He's right about the passport bro topic. My uncle was in the military and would show me pictures of fine women he was dating in Hawaii, Thailand, Europe, and other places. He always told me to travel and meet other women outside the States. Passport bro stuff is not new. Been going on for decades. Tripp is right.

[@tracphonevirtualmagazine]

Hawaii is in America guy.

[@comfortmobilecarwash9561]

@tracphonevirtualmagazine His point is about traveling, & that's all u got from it🤣

[@enzigenes]

@@comfortmobilecarwash9561 I'm upset that you replied to that dummy.

[@trinab9587]

They definitely took care of those women financially. And passport bros is still paying just not as much. So yall don’t mind financially supporting women it’s just that the dollar doesn’t go as far as it used to.

[@Mary-Mar]

Yep, my uncle, a Black man, was in the Navy for 30 years. He married a Fillipino woman. I remember my cousin, his son saying he would go to Navy events with his dad and all he saw were Black Navy military men with Filipino women, everyone of them. The passport bro thing has been around as long as our military men have been stationed over seas.

[@calebdavis381]

I just became a fan of tripp. Finally a person that uses the economy as strong evidence on why the situation changed to where its might have to be a team effort to get to a financial place you want to be depending on your circumstances. Didnt have to degrade a woman to make a point. Well said sir

[@coreythomas3633]

BLACK MEN THIS IS LAME INCEL LOGIC YA NOT CHANGING THE ECONOMIC SYSTEM. SO CRYING ON THE INTERNET DONT MAKE YA ALPHA..

[@ecclairmayo4153]

Not once did he talk about career growth or education. I see and hear a lot of men just staying in the same place and expecting everything to be the same ...never wanting to do anything more to change their plight. They have an excuse for why they dont want to go to tradeschool, the military, business grants or the college/university track. You have to move around to get more. Just complaining about the economy wont help.

[@dillonclarke1677]

I'm 36, worked my ass off for 17 years and now in pretty good space professionally, with my side hustles that can make me retire. My last 7 years I thought I was with the woman Id give my leg for. She's a professional as well and we both grew so much, but I carried her work (writing thesis, making connections, and then some. She is now my ex. But what she never did was to encourage when the few times the world got to me enough to visibly feel mentally battered. I've had to fight in ways she never understood. But helping others came easy to her. But I could never ask her for the same. I didn't realize I was hurting inside so much. One instance, she was eagerly helping a senior official (people with power) that she knew stole business opportunities that would have set us up for life (our lives) unknowingly. I don't hate her or anything. I'm just upset that she couldn't trust in me and my vision not just for a fancy wedding but having a comfortable life. I’ve butt heads with our country’s President, Vice President, and their ministers that tier to get to her while blocking my ventures. Now, I'm on the verge of signing two US$500m gas projects in Mexico. Fellas, how a woman speaks to you and about you is so important, no matter the level of education or beauty. Observe the energy and care she shows strangers (including your opps) and compare how she treats and speaks to you. We broke up a week now and yes, I'm grieving and fighting terrible destructive things that may bring short-term comfort. I don't know why I wrote this here, but be kind to your inner self. When my deals are done, It will be even harder to tell who is for “me/us” or who just wants material. As I now unlearn and embrace new perspective is slowly opening up confidence in myself and acceptance to detox from her. We were best friend throughout our relationship. Her choices may see her try to come back but Im fasting and praying for inner strength to see my goals come true. I'm an Energy and Infrastructure Development specialist with 3 other interdisciplinary skills; she is a climate specialist with law and 4 other skill sets. If she does come back; several things will have to change., if she doesn't I will build something for my failmily to inherit. I need some advice and I apologize for leaving purposeful gaps.

[@WESTERNBOUNDTV]

when people show you who they are believe them. Could be worse at the next level so better to just move forward.

[@supahero00]

I agree with the brother. She showed you that she was team I. If she was bestie, that means you spoke to her about everything. There is no way she didn't know she was pulling a Delilah. And just like Samson you might be in unfathomable pain, but joy comes in the morning. Be glad she showed you before you got married because you can now put legal infrastructure in to not get played. House, car, money. In a trust. Protect your accomplishments and your heart

[@melia8]

😢 wow, I'm really sorry to you're going there that. Stay positive, keep working on your inner self, & keep your good heart man. I really hope you meet someone who values & uplifts you as you do for them.

[@serenamuhammad9631]

When they say that relationships are hard. It's because you choose to love someone not only for their strengths, but their faults as well. Committed people don't walk away from people they trust and respect because of a flaw or choose resentment over communication. People are capable of change if we share our vulnerabilities and needs not demands or expectations. It sounds like you felt like she was putting others before you. And quite possibly she may have been put in some compromising and difficult positions personally and professionally. I hope you find perspective, forgiveness and peace in your decision to separate.

[@agbaby7757]

Sorry you’re going thru that. Keep your head up and keep going forward.

[@invisiblerevolution]

Less than 2 minutes in.... and there's already talk about BLACK WOMEN being "strong" as somethin to admire.

[@33GLOCK]

So strong they hard headed and a liability

[@DariusDantzler]

Facts

[@naturelove831]

The only "men" that wouldn't admire strength are those who want someone they can abuse, y'all know who can het that off on.

[@naturelove831]

​@@33GLOCKbalck women are a liability yet black men are the ones filling the prisons and have a string of broken homes.

[@Godsredeemedvessel]

If you didn’t have a strong woman who will hold you down when times get tuff? The issue lies with the confusion of strength and being emotionally traumatized which causes people to act and lash out in immature, unhealthy ways.

[@biscaynesupercars]

“Taking care of all the bills” is illogical because most women especially bw have always worked. Also there was no such thing as cable, cell phone, wifi/internet bill etc. when your dads and grandparents were your age.

[@focusedallday5620]

There is truth to your last statement about modern bills. In addition, cost of living has significantly increased and pay has not. This adds stress to the situation.

[@biscaynesupercars]

@@focusedallday5620 exactly. When people say “cost of living” they’re talking about inflation but they always leave out all the extra stuff we pay for now that wasn’t even around 20 years ago. Iphones, streaming services, wifi, amazon etc. I had a sega genesis when I was a kid that was $100 and the most expensive games were $30 and most were between $5-$20. If you have kids now a PS5 is $500, games are $60-$100 and they need a subscription to play online that’s $80-$150 a year. My dad did not have to pay for all of that when I was a child because they didn’t exist, if I had a wife and kids I would have to pay for those things on top of inflation.

[@k.alvarado6237]

I think the point both of you are missing is that what you offer is going to ask a certain type of women. If you want your woman to help pay… expect that type of woman. Don’t expect a soft feminine beautiful woman

[@biscaynesupercars]

@@k.alvarado6237 wrong, a women’s job isn’t going to change her femininity just like a terrible and masculine woman who doesn’t work isn’t going to magically become feminine because she’s a housewife. You’re buying into the bs ig and tiktok chicks say to naive men to get money from them. Why in the world would I pay for someone to be nice to me because that’s basically what you’re describing

[@raymondrivera2670]

​@@k.alvarado6237so I shouldn't expect a soft feminine woman because I don't want to work myself to death paying all the bills and on anything that is needed for the family while she does what? That's not an honest trade. No one likes to work I get that but I still have to put on a performance even if work has drained my soul. So woman should have to do her performance even if she's working and have to help out

[@sk8ter975]

5:31 Patriarchy will eat you up alive thinking you have to do anything in a relationship a certain way. It has to be about finding someone whose company you enjoy enough (no one is perfect) and someone who has enough self awareness to admit when they need growth, enough humility to apologize, and enough kindness to listen to their partner’s concerns and make changes. ❤❤❤

[@Jimmy_Ent]

Many will hear what Tripp's saying, most won't realize till it's too late.

[@ADG.Est.1988]

It's already too late

[@MustafaPriestt]

Outside of fearing an early death and an unfulfilling life, I can relate to everything this man just said.

[@33GLOCK]

Mmmm

[@xxxtrddy]

i fear the same thing.

[@sino-4948]

"These are not the women whose number I was putting on the back of my hand back in the day" I felt that!!💯

[@coreythomas3633]

YA GOTTA STOP with the excuses. Ya have to compete,only black men wine and complain about manhood. Than get mad when ya not respected.

[@KJThePublicist]

On GOD!

[@francisikwueme1688]

@@coreythomas3633for real

[@antoniojames9493]

​@coreythomas3633 😂😂😂Yeah, it was a black man who started the Manosphere🤨 Dude men of all races have been complaining about women for decades. You never seen an episode of Married with Children?

[@coreythomas3633]

@@antoniojames9493 why do black men ALWAYS BRING UP OTHER PPL. FOCUS ON BLACK MALE ISSUE

[@KaElSah]

A guy friend paid a lot for a day trip out of the kindness of his heart. He never carries cash I said I will pay for lunch, some lady behind the counter says "If I were you I would make him pay." I was so irritated. People just be commenting as an outsider and assuming a woman doesn't know her worth because she reached into her pockets. I don't expect the treatment but I appreciate it because no one owes me anything. I gritted my teeth because I wanted to tell her to mind her business but she was my Ghanaian elder.

[@Luckylivia]

She was sending a message that you clearly didnt heed, but you will learn the hard way!

[@paul734]

When I was younger, I thought my boys were crazy for getting married or in a serious relationship in their early 20s. Fast forward to us being in our late 30s, that was the best decision those brother probably ever made. Their wives are far removed from these new conversations and hold households down together as a FAMILY and been doing well for years, travel, and have children. I'm the unmarried, but dating, one out of the crew and I have felt victim to these new dating expectations.

[@jfelton3583]

Facts none of my married friend's wives are anything like these single females out here

[@santelaneal5374]

Been wanting to get married since I was 22. Over looked for the ones that yall are now complaining about

[@TheCreatorNFE]

Idk, Ig it depends on age. I'm 36. Two of my friends are married, but one of them has a wife that is mad controlling. He's determined to stay with her though. Both of my friends are younger than me though. One is 34 (the one with the controlling wife), the other 30.

[@princedejour2686]

So If most of the women are messed up then what is wrong with the black males in this society?

[@AWBR_777]

People married young before. Some would pretend to be disgusted by it because of the brainwashing. There is no going back.

[@lavernerowden8509]

Thank you kings. Finally real black men. Most men I know are like this and there are good black men who will love you and work with you. We need each other and we all have work to do. We need one another and nothing is perfect. We’re all human. Thank you and be your own inspiration. No one or no group of people gave it all together.

[@Hopenever4less1]

I really love the way this man breaks down everything. Tripp got my mind and heart in the best hug I’ve ever felt❤❤❤

[@deriusharrell1668]

Thanks!

[@mistymojones9280]

This Man is the truth and his authentic advice is so needed!!!!

[@RDraGon2179]

You can't have a traditional man with a modern woman. Modern men and women belong together. Things are split 50/50 or 60/40. Marriage is a team base thing. He leads, she supports. The thing I don't hear on these podcasts is that women should be supportive while being modern. A lot of the women on podcasts seem to me be just greedy and trying to pimp a man. The average woman, isn't doing that.

[@TheCreatorNFE]

This.

[@AWBR_777]

We are back in Rome(Babylon) that's why everything is upside done. All the practices, culture, beliefs, etc., that were happening then are now happening today. Those are the facts 🏛️👈 There is no fixing anything. America was created to revive THEIR old ways again. This is THEIR kingdom.

[@AWBR_777]

We are back in Rome that's why everything is up-side done. All the practices, culture, beliefs, etc., that were happening then are now happening today. Those are the facts 🏛️👈 America was created to revive THEIR old ways again.

[@coreythomas3633]

​@@TheCreatorNFEYA GOTTA STOP with the excuses. Ya have to compete,only black men wine and complain about manhood. Than get mad when ya not respected.

[@coreythomas3633]

​@@AWBR_777black men let it happen

[@kausing_kommotion]

Big facts bro. I like what he said specifically:” I much rather us be honest that we are scared than continue to sh*t on black women” I can attest to that statement 💯

[@moneylineparlay105]

Nah, I think they don't like bw as well. Two things can be true at the same time

[@ussssaaabixchh]

I’ve seen countless women laugh at men when they open up..what’s the point ?

[@cloudnationmedia8326]

Tripp spoke truth and shifted the energy back to the right place. 💯

[@ephraimjackson8416]

This brother has the spirit of a modern day Gill Scott-Heron, salute you Tripp!

[@Black_Myth679]

Dude just dropped a bar that resonates with me so heavy. “I know we not supposed to take care of all the bills BUT I’m still trying to make the money to take care of all the bills”

[@KRXOVRmedia]

This is why I FW Tripp so much. I'm grateful that he's going viral for bringing BALANCE and REASON to these exhausting conversations.

[@TS-qv1dv]

$96,500k is needed to be kinda comfortable living in the US, but what they dont tell you as a Black American is that both of us are suppose to be receiving an inheritance to create family and community. You dont have the wealth to even be married or have kids because we haven't done the real work.

[@Nitabita_]

Exactly!!! I talk about this, but the men I have dealt with can’t see the bigger picture. I’m trying to be with someone thinking about the LONG GAME. It’s been hard to find someone who can see that.

[@Jay.Taylor]

You could shout this from the rooftops, but it is a drastically different experience to build wealth as a minority. The society in which we live continues to stifle us in systematic ways, and refuses to compensate us for the wrongs perpetuated against our ancestors, and the wrongs that continue to be perpetuated against ourselves. When the game is rigged against you, you don't learn how to play, you pick a different game.

[@BlkOnyx0508]

This is enough if you are single or single with one child maybe. Otherwise it’s a no

[@ecclairmayo4153]

The military, tradeschool, college and university etc are available to black men just like it is to everyone else....

[@dboi4952]

All I can say is, when you focus on refining yourself and living your purpose and building a strong connection with The Universe, everything else just falls into place effortlessly. All this confusion is because we don’t have our priorities in order. Relationships and the opposite sex have become people’s “god”. We aren’t here to fall in love and have a partner. We are here for our spiritual evolution. If you aren’t making that your priority, chaos and confusion is the natural consequence.

[@aneji9383]

This ❤

[@kausing_kommotion]

Very balanced statement

[@tajhjenkins3089]

Facts. Facts. And more facts. Love this. Once I started to embrace that my life’s purpose was to commit to spiritual evolution, everything else started to fall into place. Everything else that I am doing in this physical realm is nothing more than a divine assignment. That includes being a husband and father.

[@RheemQ]

Thank You!! People won't realize this until it's too late. You're not here to seek a partner. You're to grow spiritually and if you do have a partner that's not because you only make them the priority but they're supposed to elevate you and be spiritually inclined with you and the bond keeps growing as time goes on. Most people will never udnerstand this because they don't live their lives and abundance as if money disappearing tomorrow wouldn't bother them. That's how you get the mentality that gains wealth.

[@legokathanga8959]

Facts bro.

[@JusticeDavid]

Good to see an intelligent articulate Young Man !

[@danielleamory5428]

Amen to that.

[@unbiascowboy1537]

From 12:24 to the end is powerful! That last minute and some change of this video almost had me in tears. I’ve been there.

[@brandonwilliams2165]

He definitely hit some uncomfortable truths in that part

[@lamadesurvivor5216]

My guy Tripp! The only dude who gets on the mic, and speaks some sense.. it’s crazy how we keep making disclaimers “I’m not saying it’s all women” but the narrative never changes, and we go right back to that disclaimer.

[@Mary-Mar]

This is one of my favorite interviews on this topic. Insightful and honest! I'm a 40 year old, unmarried, never married, child free Black women. I want to prefice what I'm going to say with that since some of you will dismiss my opinions on one or all of those identities... That being said, I think this issue is the result of late stage Capitalism. The Black family has been challenged since day one in the Western world, but today it feels almost impossible to convince intelligent, hard working, Black men and women to marry each other. Because whatever little wealth we make feel too tenuous to risk falling in love with the wrong person. To make good money in America today it takes so much effort and work, while not back-breaking factory work, it's psychological, grind culture work, where you have to out-work, out-smart, out- maneuver and out-strategize everyone around you. This is true for men and women. Good luck feeling like after playing that game all day, everyday that you can trust anyone to have your back or support you. Marriage is slowly becoming only something rich people with means can afford to take a chance on. Its almost too risky for any average person to marry.

[@Luckylivia]

Marriage was never supposed to be for the poor. The premise of marriage was secure bloodline and ensure generational wealth. So if one doesn’t have generational wealth and no bloodline of importance ie a title of earl barron prince or duke. Idk why one would even bother getting married.

[@jayjordan9275]

He summed up the ‘gender war’ in 13 minutes. Not enough empathy and a lack of understanding that things consistently change. Well said black King!

[@LongwindedShortstory]

It's so exhausting that we have to keep reinventing the wheel with these conversations. Black men, I love you. I'm not sure how we find our middle anymore. My perspective is that everyone needs to be accountable. Truly accountable. That cannot include the ongoing finger-pointing at another person. It has to start with how you can personally improve. Let the other person worry about theirs... Accountability, sexual discipline, and identifying what you truly value in a mate, so that you can date with intention... Unless of course, you're here for a good time, not a long time.

[@undertakerblaise256]

Let’s be honest. (Not all) but a lot of BW don’t respect black men so why would wanna build with someone you don’t respect? Other than lust and greed (money) “what more can we bring ya” is what so many be thinking. That’s why so many of them say “they don’t need us but want us”😂like…you’re gonna die and be homeless without men unless you get rich. I’d agree it’s easier to find a good BM than a good BW. No one is saying that there aren’t any bad BM but the likelihood of a BW to run into those are mostly based on their preference and not on character. Nothing wrong with preference however when a man display bad signs they tend to not care since he look good. Men are like that too, that’s why the ones who always think with one “head” and not the other suffer😂. Let’s be honest, you don’t hear majority of BM saying “where’s all the good women?” Either we do the work and find them or we perish alone. It is what it is. Everyone should know this but a lot sweep it under the rug because the reality is “negative”😂

[@jamesstrange6494]

No for every woman like you it’s a thousand who don’t give a fuck and have a voice black men need to date out black men need no more American women at all not trying to sound hateful but this country doesn’t have shit for men period it’s ruined 😡 and soon as we accept we can’t fix this we can actually brainstorm I choose for black men to date out the country I rather a black man dating a African woman from the bush

[@coreythomas3633]

Men complain too much

[@TirraOmilade]

Women are human. Once we reject being submissive, we will fight to be free and autonomous. Men and women have to TALK!!!!! We have to make agreements to keep both parties balanced. There’s no one way to be. The key is to agree on what works for the family.

[@undertakerblaise256]

If no one wants to follow can you lead? That’s the main issue

[@focusedallday5620]

I’d suggest that you find a woman who accepts and agrees with your program. More importantly she has demonstrated over a long period of time that she will consistently abide by your program. Stay Focused!

[@MalikaRa777]

@@focusedallday5620 Respectfully, Why do men insist that they must be the leaders?

[@focusedallday5620]

@@MalikaRa777 There’s plenty of reasons, but mines has to do with being able maintain a certain lifestyle and level of happiness. I have a very specific vision for how I want my relationship and life to be. Would you like to be the leader in your relationship?

[@heavenlysenju9948]

I don't care about leaders or followers. My only problem is how quickly people jump ship when the rough times roll in. What happened to "til death do us part". All people wanna be around for is happiness and health. Like New edition says. Can you stand the rain?

[@1979bturner]

This is why black men and women have to work together.

[@LifeIsNotorious]

If they didn’t do it by now after all of these decades, then they never will.

[@silentlamont]

NO.. BW need to work with BM

[@jfelton3583]

​@@silentlamont this!! Because let's be real Tripp is dancing around it even though he says let's call a spade a spade. The problem is MOST BW wants traditional treatment only in the sense of having no financial responsibility. That's it. They don't want to be led they just don't want to be held accountable for making the wrong decisions for the family. When a man is actually leading they call it controlling. And this is essentially the problem the whole feminist movement allowed women to do what they wanted because if we going to be honest the traditional woman was subjugated. But that was the trade off she wasn't financially responsible for herself. Society has changed because of that. And the thing is those same rules don't apply but women in general don't want the idea of being taken care of go all while doing what they want

[@antonioo316]

Yep that means no one is controlling anyone, nor the man or the woman. We are talking about ACTUALLY WORKING TOGETHER. TO.GET.HER

[@bruceleroy8324]

​@silentlamont that's y the generation is lost becuz of dB mindsets like this.

[@MR.FREEDMAN]

"I'd rather be honest then continue to s__t on black women." That part!

[@SbgLover-ep5by]

It’s sad that whoever plot it was to put black men and women against each other won. No other race express this level of hate against each other. WOMEN LOVE YOUR MAN AND MAN LOVE YOUR WOMEN

[@venivediicommented4046]

C.i.a.

[@lakeenyam]

Facts, shit insane. Smh

[@jamesstrange6494]

No I just seen a woman say she rather date a alligator gar then black men no checking out I will not do anything for a BW it’s a death sentence

[@KingComp67_-io3iz]

The world knows women are easily influenced when it comes to Independent thinking, lot of men aren't influenced when it comes to Independent thinking except when it comes to trying to satisfy a woman who can't be satisfied ever.

[@TokeloPitso]

they have effectively weaponized women against men, now the only thing that seems safe for brothas is to look out for themselves.

[@shivasamadhi]

One of the realest to ever speak. He went right past the “macho man” facade and spoke directly to the fear we feel in this current environment. Harder and harder to gain value, but easier and easier to have that value completely erased by forces outside of you. As a man this is a literal nightmare based on how we were conditioned

[@wdhubb]

He's spitting reality! I rather choose peace at this stage being in my 50's. I've already been through what he's talking about and it's not worth it anymore.

[@keepmoving2023-ku7nb]

Exactly 💯 the juice ain't worth the squeeze.let these women find their own way cause with them it's never enough.

[@blackhawk6615]

I'm in my 50s, and totally agree!

[@nickynicole1685]

12:18 “And what you doing?!” 😂 😂 the way I spit my coffee out!

[@roaringsun4743]

If men are to pour into everyone they deal with they will be empty constantly. Who pours into them in return? What’s the ROI? Where is the relation in relationship? Solipsism is real and unfortunate.

[@XeniasWorld]

Who pours into men? 🤔 the women whose time, space and bodies they inhabit. The boys or bros they go so hard to relate with that they sometimes throw their lives & freedoms away.

[@princedejour2686]

Your statement is very toxic and is one of the reasons why black males have not been able to collectively overcome the obstacles in life.

[@princedejour2686]

So does that type of negative behavior exist for black males who participate in gangs, selling drugs, criminal activities, incel, manosphere activity! What do you say about these males!

[@asdfxcvbn746]

@@princedejour2686 y'all keep f*cking bad boys. so you get what you deserve.

[@jackswift2152]

⁠​⁠​⁠​⁠​⁠@@princedejour2686Most African Americans don’t sell drugs, join gangs or engage in criminal activities, this is the equivalent of someone talking about Italians and asking “what about the mobsters?” This video and the commenter above was referring to the average man, who isn’t a criminal and is hardworking

[@bivoryforsureivory3872]

I am a black woman, and all my life I could recognize that all black people are not the same and all black women are not the same. We were all even raised differently. I've always been aware that black white, Chinese, African etc. ("That Class and the Caliber and Character is most important") I totally agree with you dear brother. My Mom and Dad along with me Granddad and Grandma we were raised with love taught we are special and always seek to be the best of ourselves and there is no comparison because we were that unique. We grew up in the suburbs in New York. Spent summers in the South with family. Always respect the man. And to keep it simple. And to expect from others no more than you are willing to give. Respect your elders no matter what and Reverence GOD above anyone or anything!

[@dpt3232]

As Black Men we must strive to live beyond the standard and expectations, not just in sports but in all we do.We should set the highest bar we can, Man UPI

[@coreythomas3633]

I AGREE

[@jasonkoroma4323]

100% my guy!

[@darrianbethea8422]

We are, did you not listen. Its KILLING US!!

[@darryladams4808]

We got Tripp in the building been supporting since poetry days

[@mikeruck2888]

It's interesting that this opened up with the conversation of fair and then started talking about men who didn't get women 😂 I've known Tripp over a decade and he has a way of getting people together without offending them. This conversation went from ignorant, immature (men are incels because they never got women) conversation, to an actual "fair" conversation with historical context 😂 Tripp is probably realizing he can't have a conversation with everybody, but in a sense he has to.

[@acham4152]

Absolutely. Notice how he didn't cut dude off...he let him show his hand, that way Tripp could gauge where dude coming from.

[@Everythingfreshandsassy]

Let me start what I have to say with my age. I am 61 years here. My husband is 67 years here. We are married 38 years come October. I’m shaking my head because I don’t think y’all understand what relationship and marriage is really for. It is to build bond Grow and replenish this earth and leave a legacy to your future generations. I heard your guest say men are scared of losing everything that they worked for and it sounds like y’all are talking about material things: clothes, houses, vacations, etc. these things are nice and make us comfortable but hat’s not the focus. a man is supposed to be THE MAN, the king in his home. In order to be the king in your home, you’ve got to perform your Kingley duties……provide and protect. It cannot be compromised in anyway. compromising your position as a man, a husband, would usurp your position. First things first, y’all have to know your place and your role. It’s just like working at a fortune 500 company. Everybody has a spot. Everybody has a place and a roll that they’re supposed to fulfill. It’s the same thing in relationships and marriage. Those lines cannot be blurred. Women you gotta stop looking at a man like he’s just a dollar sign or a way to pay your bills. He is a whole man with feelings and needs. women You’re gonna have to learn how to nurture and care for all of that. His role is to protect and provide. your role is to grow and nurture your home inside and out. It takes the same dedication and commitment that you would have to a job to be with each other and build and grow your own dynasty. the reason why we’re struggling now is because we trying to do everything by ourselves. People are separated alone, lonely don’t want to be bothered with infidelity ( and rightfully so). Ladies asking a man to pay a bill or to give you money so that you will give him sex or a date, well, let’s call a ball, a ball and a strike, a strike…. that’s prostitution! Stop it! If a woman don’t wanna go to the park with you on a first Date, split a Spam sandwich and a bottle of water with you for the next 10 dates she’s not for you! both of you have to be able to look at each other and say I want to be with you whether you are broke, sick wearing depends or going to AutoZone for a date! if she just wanna be around you, for you and you alone, then y’all might be meant to be. Both of you have to be dedicated loving honest and faithful. those things don’t come with a hefty price tag. Women you gotta be loving, nurturing, faithful, giving, strong but quiet. willing to run his bathwater and rub his back when he get home and have his dinner and YOU hot and ready! Learn your roles, get into position and do the dag on thing! Do you want a woman to be out here working but that’s not her role if that’s not what you all have decided on she’s either gonna stay at home and have babies and raise the children that you brought into the world, which by the way is what you supposed to be doing, but today’s fault keep adding a whole bunch of extra stuff in there that don’t belong there and then these relationships fall apart. If you’re not sure how marriage is supposed to go pick up the basic instructions before leaving earth…. The Bible! Is very clear as how we are supposed to be married and raise our children. The reason why many people think they can’t make it today is because they’re spending too much money on the wrong things too much money or rent too much money on a car they should not even be driving. People just wanna show others look how good I’m doing. Look at all that I got that’s not what it’s about. It’s about family, honor, love, commitment, peace, and joy. But you all have been so programmed to believe that you can’t have your peace. You can’t have your joy unless you got a bunch of possessions to show to the world leave the world alone you and yours together that’s all that matters, not what you got vs. what they got. I hear men when they say women have used and abused them but we got it from you all first. That’s not an excuse. I’m just telling you the origin. I know y’all don’t wanna hear from us old folk, but we’ve been where you have yet to go and it’s sad to see y’all struggle and y’all don’t even wanna listen to us, but some of the hardest lessons learned! all the best lessons learned continue to bump that azzz and try to get it right.p

[@Karwill63]

Well said..too bad the young people won’t read it.. it’s too long for them😅 I hope they do.. you sound like me , I’m also 61 my husband is also 67 married 34 years. I was starting to think I was the only person to think this way still because of all the videos on this subject I see. I’ll add one more , just like you said in the beginning with the comparisons, marriage is a business or softer words a partnership! I’m worried how this will end as you younger guys get older if this doesn’t get under control.. get out and away from the computer and go on a date to the park!!

[@MrBigshot323]

With all due respect if someone told u you have an 15% chance of making it if u jump out this plane would you? No ..I respect the older generation but these aren't the women of those times and telling me to not worry about money like becoming successful ad a man is some easy thing to do is just outrageous lol the problem is not the men it's the women they were sold a new a way of thinking and living and now it's become the norm men are just reacting to how things are and not getting married is SMART yes its better to have a family and be with someone forever but these are new days and those good old times and memories you had are just that MEMORIES women will never give up the freedom to do and be what they want right now the average women is promiscuous, masculine and selfish

[@Everythingfreshandsassy]

@@Karwill63 Amen! Amen! And AMEN! They don’t even leave the house anymore. They work from home, order food to be delivered to them and shop online. Missed opportunities to meet one another. I am so fretful for our young folks! They got to get back to the old and traditional ways. They don’t wanna read! I just read it and I got a bunch of typos to fix!🤦🏽‍♀️ But I am glad you understood what I was trying to say. Thank you!

[@Karwill63]

@@Everythingfreshandsassy You’re welcome 😊

[@Everythingfreshandsassy]

@@MrBigshot323 Good thing we are not talking about such an extreme as jumping jumping from a plane! They focus is a relationship. If someone is comparing a relationship to the scenario you offered then they are already defeated. You have to have a concerted plan when dating and attending to marriage. One cannot follow most influencers and their make believe relationships. One has to learn the foundation of a relationship and marriage and how to execute their roles. Too many fairytale ideas about how a relationship is supposed to be and it’s the very reason why people struggle in their relationships. You are so right! Some of today’s females are not the woman of my generation. Heck, many women of my generation are doing what the younger ones are doing and it is straight disastrous! But if they want a real marriage and successful family they gonna have to do it the Yahweh says were are to be. You don’t have to go to church to follow HIS tried and true directions on community, family, marriage and relationships. It won’t work any other way. I promise you! I tried it and had to regroup and learn my true role as a wife and mother. People trying to mix in all this other stuff into their marriage and it just don’t work. I believe BOTH men and women have fault in the way things are now. It’s also listening to that feminist foolishness! Sigh….. yep! The promiscuity, the masculinity and selfishness has to be eliminated. It has no place in a successful wholesome relationship/family.

[@brandonb2519]

Realest shit I've heard all week...protect your peace and stay on your purpose...everything will come together...easier said than done but true nonetheless

[@ACE-Fast29]

This conversation is needed on a broad scale. I felt exactly what he said when he talked about stuff not being appreciated. Ive seen it first hand. I helped with rent, car note, insurance, groceries, all while paying my own bills at my spot. I run franchise and when it was all said and done for the month paid 23k my and her bills company expenses and with payroll. Her bills and mine. Still was told I was selfish and was "cheap" lol. Na fam aint going ever again. This conditioning has gotten out of hand. I can only imagine what the average earning fellas going through out here.

[@Uke2405]

Date on your 23k level. Problem with men is going above their weight and wanting to be applauded for it.

[@219tfair]

Love what he said! Ladies, we have to be for real here because at the end of the day, some of us are struggling like men are. We have to understand that we are strong together than apart. We need to stop listening to these people because they are going on social media and spitting all this nonsense and making money while we are buying their books and whatever they have to sell! They ain’t even practicing what they preach!!

[@WillieDjr19]

Dawg preaching preaching!!

[@Sweetpea3051]

It’s unrealistic to never compare yourself. Awareness of trends and standards that are meaningful to you is key.

[@Ghostisback24444]

Sounds like a follower to me

[@Zedecrem54321]

4:54 no! No one should have to take care of all the bills....as well as housework

[@SportsonHighStandards]

Messed up part is...that's alot of men reality

[@venivediicommented4046]

It's about what works for diff couples

[@KaElSah]

@@venivediicommented4046 Exactly! Everyone has something that works uniquely for them and the season they are in.

[@quamifilms]

Yooooo!!! Let’s gooooo!!! Get the convo going!!! This is real talk!!!!! Let’s talk about it

[@trinikid8681]

This is misleading!!! Black families made it back in the day because they stuck together!!!!!! There was more marriages and they stayed married!!!!! My grandfather worked in the factories for maybe 50 cent or 75cents an hr gave every penny to grandma and she made sure there was always food and everyone had clothes to wear !!!

[@mrmoe110]

And today’s women would call your grandfather a “broke, dusty.”

[@Immeallday]

Yeap my grandparents made money together, raised their family together and supported each other.

[@RotundHero30]

Interdependence is why folk get married so working together and sticking together is the norm. It's been the norm.

[@undertakerblaise256]

You honestly believe modern women are willing to be patient enough when they make a bag? Chivalry is dead

[@RheemQ]

Man, nobody wants to hear that traditional bs about marriage. That shit don't work anymore. You people don't adapt very well clearly. You still stuck in 1955. Get over it bruh. It's not coming back.

[@theurbangothsite]

This man here spoke every bit of the truth!!!

[@Pragmatist1st]

Brothers who live in the real world are not afraid because they don't accept the false expectations. And, women who live in the real world don't hold [Black] men to unrealistic expectations. Let those who believe in BS die out.

[@trinajames5716]

I’m so glad I work in partnership.

[@MrAwesome85]

maaaan what he said at the end up the clip hit home. When a chick tells me “I like to be spoiled” I’m like nah i’m good on her lol

[@Nitabita_]

Well do y’all even ask why she says that?

[@sugrshane54]

This Kat interviews are so dope! The interviewer and the interviewee, simply adult conversation

[@fullspectrum3194]

I’m 53. I no longer believe in marriage, I am fine with men who desire to be a husband and explore relationships. I am just not a big fan of men especially black men investing their time and hard earned money to be in a relationship and if she changes her mind the relationship is over and his time and money is squandered away all to see if he picked the right woman. It is so easy to attempt to counsel men and shame them about being in relationships with women because you know that you can talk and reason with them but try to reason with a woman. Remember brothers you come in paying and leave out paying.

[@fullspectrum3194]

Being on your purpose is free, more important and meaningful.

[@latoyablackmon9033]

Sir, both sides pay! Time, emotions, money,ect...

[@fullspectrum3194]

@@latoyablackmon9033 You are correct both sides do pay. My point was 80% of the divorces are initiated by the woman and marriage is clearly a waste of time and assets on both sides. Ask yourself why is that are asking for a man more than a man is asking for a woman?

[@brandonscott8334]

That “ninja NO” I felt that in my soul

[@SigmaCue]

Ouuuuuuuweeeeeee 😢 i felt every bit of that! finna marinate and run that back! Much love and respect to all my Kings 🤴🏾 out there.. keep going.. i know its tuff.. step back, and take a moment when u need, but please don't quit or self delete.. we got this

[@IanDunlap]

One of my favorite speakers of all time

[@candacewarren2214]

Men and Women do what works for you and your relationship.

[@healthychuku3297]

Tripp be spitting. This is what i appreciate

[@Carlosmillereats]

I can tell when men been raised by they mothers

[@princedejour2686]

Your statement is very troubling and is hurting the black community! Can you tell how many black males are terrible fathers and providers! Do you even know the difference between a male and man!!!

[@lizzyforevermore4]

Most of everyone in the world was raised by their mothers. What kind of statement is this?

[@FerventFourEyes]

​@lizzyforevermore4 lololololol you're joking right? He CLEARLY means single mother

[@lizzyforevermore4]

@@FerventFourEyes he still needs to edit his comment and not all single mothers are bad parents. I know ppl who com from two parent households and they ain't shit.

[@FerventFourEyes]

@lizzyforevermore4 im sorry youre so triggered by the comment. I really do mean that. But children need much more than just a mother. There will always be exceptions to rule...but single mothers cant do it alone,ESPECIALLY FOR A LITTLE BOY. I come from a single parent household and its not the move at all. At allll.

[@jlucas136]

Everyone listen to that last part, men are "afraid to get used that's facts, I've worked hard for the little I have" .

[@SHAKE-S-PIERRE]

Gotta stop throwing incel around, the definition is in the word.

[@_MoneyMike_]

Exactly lol didn’t make sense the way he used if

[@enviedeveryday2835]

@@_MoneyMike_simps call other men incels to make themselves more attractive to blk women

[@Dellthaproducer1]

Great conversations! Love to see my bros on this vibe 💪🏾

[@Pheonixflamez10]

4:56 "🥷🏾 I know we ain't supposed to be out here taking care of all the bills but I still am out earning money to take care of all the bills" This man not the cook he the fire itself.

[@CJ2008NW]

Bro went crazy with this one.. I’m happy he a voice for the regular men

[@richdevaysolid1]

At marker 1:20... what man wants to deal with that regardless of race..

[@bezglover]

Facts. Especially when saying “come correct”. That randomly changes whenever.

[@sunnydreux]

⁠@@bezgloveryou should come correct especially if you’re approaching a relationship. Too many broken individuals focusing on the wrong shit.

[@bezglover]

@@sunnydreux you should ask many questions before you make statements because you don’t know the state of my relationships. If you knew, you would understand how foolish you sound 😂😂

[@KingofUnpopularOpinion]

There is nothing wrong with a lady having STANDARDS…it’s a problem when they have UNREALISTIC STANDARDS….pay attention

[@mayalman]

I am an attorney I make about 300k - year give or take. I have a BW colleague who makes about the same and she is adamant that any man she is with MUST pay all the bills. So your 300k a year is just for stacking and shopping and his money is for bills and expenses. She’s obviously single…dunno what else to tell her

[@patricknewsome6007]

This is REAL talk!!!

[@asongurichardson4228]

Work harder, work smarter, work wiser in combination.

[@ADG.Est.1988]

Bro i am not afraid. Ima keep it real, i don't wanti to. I do not want a relatuonship. There's nothing to fear. Men do not want to.

[@jamesstrange6494]

Facts every culture of American man is checking out of dating and even society we just lost a 20 year war because of OUR GROUND TROOPS LACKING NUMBERS AND NOT KNOWING THE TERRAIN 😂😂😂😂😂 men have simple learned you HAVE TO RESPECT THEM OR WE WILL LET YOU DIE THATS WHATS GOING ON NOW THAT AND LACK OF OWNERSHIP AND THIS CANT BE FIXED

[@mesheepooh2278]

This man is wise beyond his years! 🔥❤️✊🏾

[@GiantBrooklynBuffalo]

Tripp Fontane with 💎's

[@charissehuff3847]

Well said. Appreciate you.

[@manospherehalloffame1682]

The host is absolutely INCORRECT around the 1 minute mark...he is coming from a woman's emotional standpoint... *_The truth is that many of the black males online who speak about their grievances with black women, have multiple children with multiple black women..._* So it's pretty obvious that pulling women is not the issue... The issue is what happens AFTER we sleep with these brawdz.

[@Sachemsenjay]

Facts lol

[@trinity-hopetricia3241]

Legendary Comedy Hype and Thank you and Keep it up please need more Tripp 🏆🐐🎯🙏❤️

[@humble_roots]

Beautiful segment, Tripp is very wise.

[@antgal9467]

My first SVP from my first corporate job taught me about passport bros back in 2011. He was a good dude, just corny older white dude. So he's right, it just got to black men in 2020. Lol, he told me about a service he paid for went to the Philippines and it's like speed dating. After they agreed, he met her family and set it up.

[@flyguy7825]

I love it went people use race/color on men went it comes to masculinity men have been born into this world with people telling you, you can’t do this you can’t say this you can’t be this way because race/masculinity. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been around black folks white folks any type of folks and they treat you a certain way because they think they have an idea of who you are based upon, the level of masculinity that you have I say all that to say is that nobody should be judging anybody based upon masculinity that’s the quickest way to misery in your life

[@coreythomas3633]

This is incel logic ummm race matter's

[@flyguy7825]

@@coreythomas3633 To masculinity?! 😂😂😂😂😂 NONIT DOESNT

[@PALMofficial]

Never heard of this channel or this brotha speaking but he is so real! 🫡 ✊🏿 SUBSCRIBED

[@jamesbell739]

Looking at the comments, you can always tell that it's a lot of hurt people who need to seek counseling and healing.. A lot of you fumble good women because you are scared then end up with exactly what you don't want because it's comfortable to you.

[@enviedeveryday2835]

Simp

[@jamesbell739]

@@enviedeveryday2835 guess you a hit dog hollering...

[@blackhawk6615]

​@@enviedeveryday2835straight simpleton! Over trying to down bm he didn't get the memo! Trick!!

[@jamesbell739]

nothing like a hit dog hollering...

[@loveistheword7824]

I’m old school, but with that said if my man needs anything from me I’ll give him my last so we are both happy. Some married women don’t know how great they have it with a great BLACK KING that’s what saddens me the most 😢

[@banybaby129]

I love how he responded to taken care of the bills . Who is he I’ll help him pay bills

[@goldenchild3265]

😭😭😭

[@truthmon]

You should have this man on more. Trip always drop jewels 💯

[@TirraOmilade]

I need sisters to learn how to use the shared resources with our men but also strive to have money for your own expenses, too.

[@teresam5199]

What???

[@coreythomas3633]

YA GOTTA STOP with the excuses. Ya have to compete,only black men wine and complain about manhood. Than get mad when ya not respected.

[@KEnterprise-ni6ri]

Hell no they will take advantage I paid all the bills by myself with my ex if a man doesn't have his self together he shouldn't be dating

[@pstroke5346]

Bruh said it convincingly straight in it go both ways men and women no matter we scared including myself

[@jesseonyenka]

If yall even have women disrespect you i dont even know you yall stay with them

[@blackmoneynewmoney]

Thank you for reinforcing my thoughts

[@lordfriezachrist6546]

From the thumbnail, i thought it was the coco guy that got knocked out on that podcast

[@nimo4335]

That's a lot of military men, including Black men, since at least WWII. I know I've been to multiple overseas/CONUS military bases as a 2 service vet and mil spouse for over 30 years.

[@platinumblackservices]

I greatly appreciate the honesty here vs. the ego speaking with toxic emotions.