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Many people affected by early trauma work HARD to heal, but don't get results. If you're ready to heal and prepared to make some changes that make healing easier, here are ten tips to speed your CPTSD healing.
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[@Catbooks]

I don't know about anyone else, but I really did *not* know what to do to heal myself. I went to 7 or 8 therapists over the years, and 1 psychiatrist because the only other option I knew about was medication, which to me was a desperate last-ditch option. Not one of them ever mentioned dysregulation to me, amazingly, and you know how critical learning about that is. It wasn't until I found your videos I learned about it, and finally could start healing. Learning how to catch myself when triggered and thrown into dysregulation, learning how to self-sooth by changing my inner self-talk so I can re-regulate myself- these are total game-changers. Most every day now I notice new ways in which I've healed, and it's incredible. Knowledge is power.

[@Ana-rb7ws]

So true!! I didn’t know that what I was feeling when I was feeling woozy was dysregulation, and what that meant was I needed to learn to operate within my brain’s functional limits. No professional had told me about this, but learned from Anna’s channel. I had to figure out on the fly that what I needed to do was completely change my inner voice from critical to super-loving and supportive, but also one that holds me accountable. Finally, had to teach myself self soothing activities, and had to unlearn that doing self soothing wasn’t being a snowflake or pampered etc., it was taking care of me. But anyways the point is I figured all this out on my own mostly because I was dying from the torment inside. Professionals need to learn to do a better job at treating CPTSD patients.

[@rosaclick1995]

I am happy for you Jay

[@Catbooks]

@@Ana-rb7ws It's awful to think of how many people are out there, struggling and hurting just like we were, because no one's taught them what the real problem is, and the solutions. Feeling hopeless that there is any meaningful help to be found. Good point about changing our inner voices to be very loving, supportive, *and* also honest to ourselves and being accountable. Totally agree, professions need to learn about all this so they can truly help their clients with CPTSD. So glad you found your way too!

[@Catbooks]

@@rosaclick1995 Thank you, Rose!

[@deb2319]

Take a yoga teaching certification course, it will change and inspire you! Be Well.

[@intrepidtomato]

The ten tips: #1 Learn what complex PTSD is (e.g. how emotional dysregulation affects YOU) - means you can choose professional help well and make better decisions about your healing #2 Be willing to notice / address problems that are not related to trauma (e.g. always being late, not cleaning often enough) #3 Prepare to move your 'trauma' stories out of present time into the 'memory bucket' so they don't loop in your mind (e.g. by using the daily practice) . Naming these thoughts / stories can help realizing you don't have to always be reactive to the past. #4 Stop trying to make other people not trigger you (and learn to tell the difference between 'other people doing sth to you' and ''you being triggered', e.g. using the Daily Practice, by doing reality checks with friends, via a 12 step program...) #5 Stop trash talking the people who you choose to have in your life. Stop using labels, start noticing what triggers you about them #6 Stop clinging to bad relationships that make you miserable. #7 Don't stay in jobs that make you miserable unless your life depends on it #8 Detach from the belief that you 'magically' attract bad people. Take responsibiity, you need boundaries and a red flag detector to make good choices! ('I attract mosquitoes, I don't sleep with them') #9 If you have addictive behaviours, make recovery priority #1 (e.g. alcohol, porn, drugs, limerence....). Find a better way to self comfort (e.g. daily practice) #10 Thought experiment: 'If I really had to solve this problem (of having complex CPTSD), what are 10 things I could do?' Write it down!!

[@AnneBerryhill]

Awesome list! Thank u!

[@c8Lorraine1]

Thank you

[@emilysmith2965]

“Trying doesn’t always lead to success, but success favors people who try.” THANK YOU. As a kid from a “looks good on paper” household where everything had to be perfect (and so, so painfully quiet)… I became afraid of risk. This is really the verbalization of that mindset that I needed today. When you try a lot, you have more small failures… and more big wins.

[@7upjello119]

Everything fills me with dread even if I'm initially enjoying it. The thought of doing it again is horrible

[@MsPingyin]

Ann, you are absolute right. Lack of discernment is a developmental delay. It makes so much sense to hear you say it. I used to think I am terrible at making decisions because I can never decide. Anna, I appreciate that you continue to produce videos on a regular basis. I always feel more centered and grow a little bit after watching a new video. Thank you for sharing your wisdom, love, and understanding with the world.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thanks for sharing!! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@themanwithacrumpet]

Once you listen through, you can start implementing one or two of these right now. Best to find something important and something else fixable right now. 1) Learn what C-PTSD is and not just whats on the internet 2) When you look at yourself and your healing process, identify some things that have nothing to do with your trauma! 3) Prepare to move your stories out of present time looping thoughts and into the memory bucket (definitely need to watch this section, its really folding the cheese without the context) 4) Stop trying to make other people not trigger you 5) Stop trash talking those who you have in your life 6) Stop clinging to bad relationships which make you miserable 7) Dont stay in jobs that make you miserable unless your life relies on it 8) Detach from the belief that you magically attract bad people (Not really - its more who you are attracting) 9) If you have addictive behaviors - make recovery your first priority 10) Sit down and ask yourself, if I really had to solve this problem, what are 10 things I could do?

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thanks for the summary! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@yvonnebertrand3731]

The job one is a challenge as I seem to end up with bosses who trigger me. Thankfully I only work part time.

[@NoOne891.]

💜🌻

[@yoshi4691]

I am one of those people. I haven't been able to move past things that happened 1 year, 10 year, 35 years ago despite years of trauma therapies and inner work. I've been unemployed for most of the past decade, homeless for 4 years and a mark for literally every demonic person because of CPTSD. I don't wish this upon anyone.

[@sidewalksurf800]

I’m living a similar experience. Can’t get over anything in my life, can’t hold a job for more than 1-2 years, been homeless twice. I was severely bullied (aside from parental trauma) in school and while opening up and crying to my wife the other day, I said I don’t wish this on anyone, not even the ones who did this to me. It’s a chronic circle. Bless you friend, I hope today was a stronger one for you.

[@ninamc6116]

@@sidewalksurf800day by day friend. Hang in there

[@tomtbi]

I'm at a job where I have finally found contentment!!

[@ckingsman3894]

I just now realize that I have been addicted to limerance for the past 40 years or so. If there was no one "real" in the picture, limerance was a comfort and an escape. Wow. Thank you for that. ♥️

[@sidewalksurf800]

Holy smokes… I had never even heard of limerance until this comment, and I looked it up, and it’s just answered so many lifelong confusions for me . Thank you. I haven’t even made it to that part of the video, if she even talks about that.

[@worksofhands]

Your workshop should be offered to every school around the world so that at least once in their lives children are made aware that there are learnable self-healing skills that they can learn any time in their adult lives when the right time comes.

[@CulturedBubbleCB]

thank you SO MUCH for saying, that we don't *magically attract* toxic people! For ages now I closed myself off from literally everyone, because I was scared that eventually they'd turn out to be abusive. But you're soooo right, as long as I set boundaries, know what I'm comfortable with and don't ignore red flags (although I still have the tendency to see the tiniest 'fault' in anyone as a red flag), I should be ok :) The mosquito metaphor really helped me realise this. I have to say, while watching this video, I had many 'aha-moments' that I think will help me down the road on trauma recovery more than anything else I've tried before! So again, thank you sooo much from the bottom of my heart

[@blue.papaya8595]

Thank you! Trauma is passed on generations quite often and we are tought to swipe our feelings under a carpet.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

So true! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@makitty_makeupxo]

Also I’ve been sober for 4 years and what you said was SO true. I was running away from my trauma for many years and once I got sober it was hard not gonna lie. But it only gets better. I feel like myself again and my healing process has boosted insanely since being sober. Idk who needs to see this but get sober. It’ll be the best thing you ever did💜

[@Joshdifferent]

That’s the thing about when people say “find a therapist” . Not all of them are knowledgeable on every topic. Not all of them understand narcissism And the things that were done. I have had one of my therapists actually insist that I just take a couple weeks away from my narc mom and go back… Because that’s “still your mother” … like bro. Do you even understand what’s going on here? I told him I couldn’t work with him anymore. My next therapist agreed with me, not that I needed them to. And although my next therapist Had some knowledge on dysfunctional families and narcissism, and scapegoating. It was very surface level knowledge and they did not understand how to heal from this. They just know what they read. And it was clear to see

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

I hear you 100% -Cara@TeamFairy

[@ashleykathryn9038]

It's so frustrating, I feel like I'm training my therapist haha

[@Joshdifferent]

@@ashleykathryn9038 absolutely. No offense to the therapist out there. But I think therapy is a little outdated when it comes to narcissism and personality disorders and healing from trauma. KZbin life coaches and online psychotherapist no way more about this topic then the three therapist that I have spoken to. I even showed my therapist these videos and they were shocked… almost like “wow maybe I should know this” type thing.

[@lindalu7713]

More than 15 percent. Personally, I am stunned..actually, I'm mortified at the traumas suffered by a high percentage of coworkers as children/teens. The abuses disclosed to me were extremely severe. Even more frightening is that most of these 'parents' were as sober as judges when inflicting abuse on every level. 😥

[@tomtbi]

I'm still trying to learn how not to get dysregulated....

[@sardiniangirl1866]

I am 52 and suffer all those symptoms with friends and relationships men.. security love abandonment..just terrible

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

We understand. You'll be surprised what a difference some new steps can make. Try this free course: bit.ly/38JfzK1 -Cara@TeamFairy

[@WispyWispy]

I adore and appreciate the advice to “stop trying to get people to stop triggering you”. I’ve practised that in my life and I’ve found from experience that I am much more resilient when I don’t try to control how other people act. I can sit in that discomfort and let it pass far easier than “being let down” because that is inevitable when we deny people their own autonomy to soothe our own insecurities. Thank you so much for bringing it up. 💜

[@andycodling2512]

Unfortunately most of my trauma memories are from infancy and are somatic so they appear in my body and effect my days, I'm slowly working on them but they are harder to work on than the experiences that I can mentally recall

[@whenthebestlackallconvicti5559]

I say nice things to my body there are neurons for emotion in the body and sometimes it eases discomfort.

[@tomtbi]

I have made strides on my food addiction... I've been doing weight watchers for the last month and a half and I've lost 15 pounds!!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

That's great! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@astaraoneill9166]

Not loved, unfulfilled, not financially stable. Yep. I Tick, tick, tick all the boxes. It’s somehow validating to hear, and to know I’m not alone.

[@vtcs1963]

Wow your thoughts about staying in a job you hate really resonated with me. Not me personally - but my sister. We were raised by a narcissistic mother and a checked-out alcoholic father (both highly functional, bizarrely). We ended up highly functioning too but my sister has this crazy dynamic with our mom where she calls her (mom) every night as she is driving home from work to complain about how terrible her day was, how badly she is treated, etc. (this is a very good healthcare job where she is in charge of lots of innovative programs, etc). My narcissistic mom gets happy because she can only relate to us if we are suffering. So they just co-suffer forever. I used to lie about how tired or busy I was (I am busy, and long days are tiring) so my mom might love me a little, because when I tell her about my successful fun days she immediately withdraws the little love she has for me. I knew this, but I really liked hearing you talk about it!

[@angieoh2]

Wow. Your sentence "My narcissistic mom gets happy because she can only relate to us if we are suffering." hit me right in the gut. Same. So much same. Hugs to you, Vivian.

[@vtcs1963]

@@angieoh2 hugs back!

[@heikek2134]

Oh wow, it's often comments like yours that make another tiny piece fall in place for me. "My narcissistic mom gets happy because she can only relate to us if we are suffering. [...] I used to lie about how tired or busy I was [...] so my mom might love me a little" I spent countless afternoons during my teenage years in bed, faking migraines while actually daydreaming myself away. And when she knew (or thought) I was suffering, my Mom was less abusive and sometimes even nice. It suddenly makes so much sense. I don't know if you'll even read this, but thank you so much for that comment!

[@vtcs1963]

@@heikek2134 thank you! It’s funny how long we suffer alone in that parallel universe, and how amazing it is when we know we are not alone!

[@keshiacunningham]

Omg… I used to do the same thing with my mom I would tell her that I was physically sick all the time as a way to get her to be kind to me. Because any day that I wasn’t “sick” that’s when she would just unload all of her emotional wrath. When I was a kid she would hit me as well. I got tired of lying to protect my emotional peace. When I moved out( we didn’t speak for a year)and didn’t have to fake physical sickness when we started speaking again I switched to lying to her about having bad days, issues etc..I realized that the only way she is able to relate to me and not be mad at me is if she thinks I’m somehow suffering. To this day I don’t know how to engage with her without me having some kind problem.

[@tammydietschweiler7852]

I am in a terrible relationship! It’s been 18 years of Hell, although I’m disabled and financially can’t leave. All I can do is work on my health and look for alternatives until I find a solution for my living situation. My story is long and complex with myself letting it go on too long. Sometimes things change when I really need it and I’m hoping something might guide me since I’m trying! I was vulnerable when I met him with the suicide of my husband at 37 and my daughter having mental illness. I am certain I was a target and too foolish at the time to realize I was being used for various reasons that are so clear now. I can’t dwell because I need to take care of myself and I hope with your help in comforting myself❤

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Rooting for you! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@Hawaiiansky11]

The stronger you become emotionally, the more the abuser becomes bored of you. The problem may just correct itself.

[@ninamc6116]

Hang in there!

[@monave2938]

I just can’t believe you believed you were “unhireable” I’m impressed you would have the confidence to get your own business started feeling like that. Good for you.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thank you so much!!

[@mollyaleena777]

Every time I see your videos you look so much more beautiful youthful like glowy

[@trudibarraclough478]

Now that I have gone no contact with my sister (at 64!) and have found you I am healing. Thankyou so much!

[@tnt01]

You did the right thing. Take care.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Wonderful! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@tammydietschweiler7852]

I have stopped contact with my alcoholic sister and a brother that has been mean and very uncomfortable with for years. We come from abuse from my father, it was sexual and emotional abuse. My younger sister at 54 overdosed and died 3 years ago. My alcoholic sister blames me since I exposed the truth many years ago and they blame me for her death. It’s difficult to live with this accusation, but I feel it is time to move on and put my thoughts in the “memory bucket” that had caused so much unhappiness, health issues and honestly destroying my current life at 62. I’ve been to therapy…but since I found this site it has become so soothing and beneficial I am so grateful to have our “Fairy”! I think I’ll try her suggested courses to become stronger since therapy isn’t specific since I feel the reason is they haven’t the experience and for some it isn’t enough! I love my siblings, although I realize at my age if we haven’t resolved our issues - we never will. I don’t want to be mean and say distasteful things to them and weaken my mind and body anymore. So, I had to walk away and enjoy a talk with nature and myself for once! I trust me!!!❤

[@recoveryafterrape]

I think this is amazing. There is life after cptsd. Took years for me and never giving up I gave me my life back.

[@saragracie5554]

Can you please make a meditation about getting unstuck? manifestating love, or sleeping well after trauma?

[@johnjohnstone9805]

I'm Finding Almost Everybody Triggers Me All The Time. I Can Spend Two Weeks Alone And Calm And Regulated. But Just To Go Shopping I Find Triggers And Disregulates Me. Nothing I Can Do About It As Present. Very Debilitating. I Used To Have Ideas For Business Oportunities. But I Thought Then I Would Have To Deal With Other People. The Breeze Of Inspiration Died Down. I Dont Get Any Inspiration Anymore. And Then Theres The Shame Of Being Lonely Socially Incompetant. And Then Theres The Narcissists Incessant Competitiveness Manipulations And Mind Games. As If I Don't Already Feel Bad Enough.

[@TeamCat1128]

Same. The daily practice helps. Have you tried it?

[@marshallsmountain]

I started doing the daily practice 11 months ago. One thing I discovered was how hard it was for me to write my fears and resentments. It felt so strange to write what my mind had been flooded with most of my life. It really works when combined with meditation and prayer. For me, God takes them away and it is astonishing how my discernment and mental clarity helps my healing. Anna, your work is nothing less than wonderful.

[@AJManol]

Great feedback ❤

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Yay! It's working!

[@marshallsmountain]

Yes...its definitely working. Part of what is so great for me is that I must be involved in my own healing every single day. I am learning that both my parents, CPTSD 2nd generation victims were also victims too. I have been set free to love them in spite of all the pain.

[@wintertontoday]

How do you think God takes them away? Do you say a specific kind of prayer & is it every day? I struggle with prayer because it's mostly me repeating myself day after day and then I feel stupid after a while. Then I come back to it. And then go quiet again for feeling pathetic. Thank you,

[@marshallsmountain]

@@wintertontoday I don't pray in the way I did in CPTSD survival mode. My daily writing contains a direct "note" to God. I ask him to read what I wrote and consider it. I hide nothing from him...that for me is discarding hiding and denial that are hallmarks of my CPTSD abuse. I also no longer practice the old fold your hands and kneel down thing although i do believe that God is worthy of bowing down to. I think he respects that. Many times the fear is suddenly just gone.

[@recoveryafterrape]

I found hypnosis tapes. I practiced everyday for 6weeks and began to notice changes. I also gardened, still do I took up Akido martial art. 32 yrs still do it. Slowly I began to come right. I am content with my life mostly. I started healing 40yrs,ago not much understanding in 1981. Love your teaching, wonderful. I choose to live alone but I learning more from you. Thanks. 🙏

[@tearthangel373]

Thank you Anna! I am frozen in moving on from my Divorce over a year ago. I have CPTSD from childhood and Betrayal Trauma and Financial betrayal

[@krisdiane]

I never hear anyone talk about trauma from betrayal, especially financial betrayal, but that is exactly what "broke" me. I had adolescent trauma, but I was mostly normal until I experienced some huge betrayals (including financial) in my marriage. It's hard to get it taken seriously as trauma. I wish you the best in healing. ❤️❤️❤️

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Glad you are here! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@promansplainor5245]

I put food scraps/wrappers that will stink in the garage, after washing out, in a plastic grocery bag in the freezer. Then throw away frozen mass when going to landfill into food dumpster/hopper or rolling out the trash. Daily Practice is the Sha-sizzle ; has changed my life. Dysregulation of frontal cortex has been my ongoing major mental malfunction. I'm 62 and this DP is a true game changer. . . contingent upon the maintenance of my spiritual experience.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Daily Practice was my game changer as well :) -Cara@TeamFairy

[@yveqeshy]

Learning about and healing from religious trauma has also been helpful in healing cptsd. I'll look further into getting better at discernment. Would love to hear your views on how shadow work is related to cptsd in terms of how we get triggered by the actions of other people

[@elizabethalexander6528]

Oh Anna thank you for your wonderful messages. I currently have 498 days sober and Benzo free. I am active in AA. Have been for nearly 40 years. Time flies even if I am not having fun. I firmly believe you came at a perfect time in my life. I am not the worlds caretaker and am amazingly please at my growth this last LAST time. I have women friends for obvious reason. Don't want to complicate my life. Its a journey. I will be around watching you. That sounds kinda creepy. LOL I am a female for what its worth. I strongly am single as I have been a decades long struggle with ptsd from what all IDK I don't remember much but I want to live to see my Granddaughters grow up! Love you so bad Anna!

[@damianmann]

I think you would REALLY find the video by this British kid called Ren. The video is titled "Hi Ren" and its about the eternal struggles of the mentally ill....but its also about all of our struggles with mental health, illness, crisis, resolution. Its got like 8 million views since it came out 3 months ago.

[@allysoobratty7565]

I'm 43 now and I still suffer from CPTSD

[@littleblackbabycat]

Yep. I realise now I've suffered my entire life in minor to medium ways😢 not just depressed or full of procrastination, unable to cope with life at times and put on anti depresents on and off. Not until I really screwed up my life and had severe issues after a very toxic relationship did I realise I was in deep. Now I get it. I'm doing something about it❤ thankyou.

[@robertkeable1627]

It's been the story of my life. Putting all the feelings of the past in that memory box and keeping them there. Well that's the real difficult part for me. Hopefully more and more of those feelings that go with the bad parts of one's life start staying in the box and don't define me as a sufferer. Be well and stay safe.

[@SheenaSpeaks]

Wow. My anger issues are my brain's way of desperately attempting to assert boundaries, in particular those that were repeatedly and violently violated growing up.

[@SheenaSpeaks]

And it's fucking bad. Most of it is towards myself in some way, but it winds up hitting whoever is within earshot. Which happens to be the husband I am a caretaker for who literally rescued me from my abusive roots. I am trying so very hard. I'm going to make a concerted effort to just do this shit myself. Like im still gonna go to therapy, but I really don't think it's working. I've been at this 8 years. The last 3 my brain has been radically broken to the point I struggle badly with NSSI, namely, hitting myself. (Which I've done since childhood, apparently, and had no clue till recently?)

[@SheenaSpeaks]

Literally just got dumped by my therapist. In response to an email in which I told her my DYING husband's medical condition had changed significantly, and "I am not ok. I don't know if I ever will be ok again."

[@sidewalksurf800]

@@SheenaSpeaks with love, a good therapist will break up with you if things are not improving. We affect our therapists as well and they are allowed to assert their own boundaries. You should take steps back, care for hubby, try some other approaches to your struggles, and then go back to her or get another therapist entirely after like a year. God bless you.

[@lizanne6349]

I can't remember my trauma. But I have so many symptoms. It's as if I'm burrying the trauma, the a simple trigger make me spiraling into worrying and anxiety

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

You can get better without the memories :) -Cara@TeamFairy

[@geogriapeach5211]

You are the firts person to explain CPSD.

[@lou6574]

Love this guidance 🙏 The one that I'm struggling with is escaping my partner it's been baby steps for 9 yrs but I feel like I'm nearly there, it feels so scary but can't wait to be free 🥳✌ good luck to anyone who's struggling you can do it 💓

[@ninamc6116]

You can do it. My ex husband abused me & when I finally decided to end things, he threatened to kill me. He didn’t. I’m still here. I have battled C-PTSD for over 40 years. God speed

[@hollys7838]

I just need to let you know how immensely helpful your channel has been to me. I would like to say "you have no idea!" but I am sure you have some idea haha. I shamelessly mention your videos to my therapist often :)

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Wow, thank you!

[@mariaramos8267]

Me too. I told my therapist about your videos and how I now understand why I was like I was for so long.

[@mebeasensei]

1) Learn what CPTSD is, 2) Note problems that you might have which are NOT related to CPTSD

[@lucasoromi]

I am 45. I didn't know I had CPTSD, and I didn't know I had autism. Now I am started to realize that what my father was trying to fix in me was Autims, he didn't know, I think; and now I realize that that shock therapy resulted in adding CPTSD to the mix. I don't know where my Autism ends and there the CPTSD starts, but it is F-ed up.

[@docacuwatson]

Help? I went 100% no contact with my mother. No responses to texts, not answering phone calls, etc. She recently texted me writing "You should come visit. Let's talk or not if you are not ready. Family is important to all." I am having a serious emotional reaction to this. I spent Christmas and my birthday without them. No loss there, my family hasn't celebrated my birthday for 35 years. I have had a chance to realize that all my depression and suicide ideation were related to my low self esteem. I haven't had those thoughts since I went no contact. My father's health isn't great and I feel like I'm missing out on a chance to spend with my father. She has convinced everyone that I need mental help. I have a brother and sister, and they have been swayed by her claims. My father is controlled by my mother. Honestly, I felt like going no contact with them, I had to grieve the loss of family and now that I've gone through that, I feel like this is just setting up another cycle of her narcissistic abuse. If I never spoke to my mother ever again in my life, I'd be totally ok with it. At this point, I would spit on her grave. My brother is a self-righteous know-it-all and his 2 kids only interact when there's a present for them involved. My sister is quiet, but exactly like my mother. They even dress identically. Her son has been emotionally damaged by them but enjoys their company. I am not sure that my family is important to me.

[@lauraohlrich5977]

If you are in your words 100% no contact, how did you get a text from her. You are not no contact and this will set you backwards in your healing!!

[@ashleykathryn9038]

I keep asking my therapist the same question, why do I care so much and want they're validation when they don't really care about me nor do they want the best for me. I wish I could turn off that part of my brain that wants that from them

[@kateb7155]

I went no contact with my parents for 2.5 years 25 years ago and blew it all in response to one contact from my mother. No contact is very important and if you have already grieved (and may continue to grieve in intermittent measures and that's okay) and see your family members for who and what they individually are, then please don't give her or them ANY opportunity to be in contact with you. It can undo so much of what you have accomplished for yourself by going no contact and healing from their toxicity. Maintaining no contact is a lifelong effort and, while your daily living of it will become (and may already be) second nature to you, there are scenarios ahead (family illnesses or accidents or other seemingly urgent circumstances involving them) that can jeapordize it. Be prepared, always. And don't listen to what other people may say about how you "should" feel about your family. I think society in general is in great denial about the real harm families cause to their members; never buy into their denial. I have been no contact with my family for more than five years now so my advice to you is from experience.

[@Anitsirc25]

Regarding attracting narcissists or situations where I would be falsely prosecuted for something (in social situations, being framed, or shamed, or humiliated) that I probably had “prey energy”. Gosh, that felt so awful. I was like, how do I get rid of this prey energy 😢. Then little by little I stumbled upon boundary and personal sovereignty work. So true that it is our boundaries that determine which people infiltrate our lives. Letting go of the rescue based magical thinking that it is this invisible supernatural thing (cue in: your aura is unbalanced, your chakras are this , reincarnation karma…etc) and that it can only be fixed by equally esoteric things, and instead grounding on logic and clarity, and boundary work…ahhhhh really the apex of this huge life lesson on boundaries that I’ve learned.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thank you for sharing this! -Calista@TeamFairy

[@newtuber4freedom43]

Very sensible & helpful !!

[@igobyjazz]

so helpful!

[@texasrefugee7888]

Thank you 💕😊

[@charlesdaubner1017]

Always great advice!

[@stubborndetermination6373]

I wish that there was more substance. Maybe a video on each of the topics? I’ve been to four therapists recently only to be told that they can’t help me. I feel like I’m on my own. I’m too busy with work and family to do much of anything. This video felt to me like telling someone in the desert who is suffering from dehydration to go find water. A very good point but I still feel like I have no direction.

[@jacrowe3477]

Thank you Anna, great pointers for healing from CPTSD.

[@synappticuser7296]

Thank you!

[@dotsyjmaher]

Wonderful...thank you

[@systems_logic]

Thank you Anna 💗

[@catherinewilson1079]

Great information! Thank you!

[@sharonsekhon9475]

So helpful to me right now. Thank you.

[@amypola5903]

You said, it's not electric. And my brain said boogey woogey woogey. Lol I always loved that electric slide. Haven't thought of that in probably a good 20 years or more. Memory is weird. I couldn't recall that voluntarily if I tried, not to save my life, but one random phrase and stuff starts coming back. The hypothalamus is the original time capsule. It's in there somewhere, but I can't get to it right now. I tell people I want to remember it just takes me a minute to pull the file. Often a little memory jogging is helpful to pulling the file faster.

[@pamelaowens5019]

Thank you for such great information!! 🙏🙏

[@jeanettemedrano7173]

Thank you for putting this on you tube it's much needed for a lot of people

[@MJ-eb6fk]

Thanks for your very helpful informative video. It really helps me feel less alone.

[@bargdaffy1535]

No, you are awesome, you make a whole lot of sense to me.

[@heather2050]

You are one of a kind! Thank you so much for sharing your experience and for your help healing our CPTSD!

[@daniellereid01]

This is very helpful advice. Of course, I will have to listen to it several times before it actually sinks in 💕

[@carmelhughesparolya899]

Me too 🙂

[@juliemickens1697]

Thanks for talking about the job stuff. Would love to hear more about work, jobs and cptsd.

[@chocolatekay66]

Wow just wow! So much wisdom and so many truth bombs, thank you, thank you, thank you!

[@whowearereally6494]

Great Stuff!!!! Thank you!! Ann question? Do you drink?

[@baljithayre1252]

Your Service to Humanity just Keeps Delivering 🙏

[@ahnaahna7278]

Recently for weeks I could only sleep 3 hours at a time at night, take a pill, sleep 3 hours, etc. I’m now taking cortisol calming supplement, CBD sleep product, liquid melatonin and small amount of muscle relaxant(spread out through the night). Still 3 or 4 hours of sleep, but after a supplement I sleep another 4 night time hours, etc. Also keeping liquid minerals in water by my bed. Stopped all caffeine. Hopefully this will change in time. I do not take sleep medications. These videos I think are also giving me hope for deeper self-healing. Thanks. Ahna

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Sending you encouragement! -Calista@TeamFairy

[@victoria2226]

Discernment and criticism of people in my life. Those 2 are my next steps!! Yay!! Thanks Ann. 🙏♥️✨NZ

[@jts-jc8jk]

Great concrete tips.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Glad you like them! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@danielafernandezvarela9932]

Thanks for your work. Your channel has given me the hope I never was able to feel in my life. You're saving my life. ❤

[@lisacomeau9204]

Thank you for this. This all makes so much sense to me and I find it very helpful. I have CPTSD and am walking around every day, most of the time, an anxious wreck. Luckily I am an artist and writer and can channel some my stuff into the work. Your series of videos make me feel hopeful, especially the stuff on emotional dysregulation. I feel I can get more of a handle on my life and my nervous system and they remind me how important it is to do so.

[@KimchiYeo]

These things are good advice but i look at everything you say and my wall i keep hitting is,fear of being alone is what keeps me from walking away.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Put that on paper, here is a link to the free Daily Practice course bit.ly/38JfzK1 -Cara@TeamFairy

[@makitty_makeupxo]

I just came across your page a few days ago and I just wanna thank you so much for your videos it’s much appreciated. I really feel seen watching your videos as well as it being so educational and honest! This is extremely helpful thank you again💜😇

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

You are so welcome!

[@bakpoassylzhan]

Thank you for information and education! I’m recovering and still have struggles. I’m not sure if I still have cptsd or ptsd. I dont feel much comfortable outside by other people and big crowds. I feel that your videos can help me on my healing path.

[@freefromnarrative]

Today I was really proud of myself because I was able to communicate to my partner what was triggering me in our connection... before, I really wasn't able to separate my dysregulation from the reality of the situation when a trigger occurred. I would feel hurt and uneasy when he'd tell me about some big event or life choice way after it'd happened, especially if it's something we'd talked about before and he omitted a huge detail. He has a real estate business that he'd tell me about often, but I'd only find out months later that he had a woman business partner this whole time. We'd talk about our day or what we have planned for the weekend and he'd say, oh, I'm just doing business stuff or job applications... and then later he'd tell me that he was actually at the movies with a friend or at a spur of the moment concert or something as well... It felt very avoidant, like, how can I feel like I really know him at all if he omits these big details? And in my past, avoidance in men also came with cheating. So, when he told me about the business partner or all the other fun things he did over the weekend... It felt like he was keeping secrets. My dysregulation told me that he was hiding this business partner because he was cheating. My dysregulation told me to question who he was with, who was that other girl he told me about, where did you say this concert was at, etc... and to him, it felt like I was accusing him. He hasn't cheated, and so being accused of it made him see me as highly insecure... And that's totally fair of him. But that's all we'd ever talk about. Is how I hurt him and how I needed to address my trauma, I needed to own up to playing the victim, I needed to mature and communicate better... At a certain point, it's like, all the responsibility was on me to change my behavior, and so he in turn felt completely helpless and powerless to ever change our dynamic. *it is my responsibility to own and manage my triggers*. But when we never talk about the potentially problematic behaviors that cause triggers in a relationship, he never has any agency over the situation. Even being able to articulate that my problem was with his communication feeling secretive and avoidant/withdrawn... it felt like putting together the pieces of a puzzle for me. I thought that I was- i thought it was all internal. I was damaged and traumatized and I was a monster because I treated him unfairly... but, actually talking about the external/ shared dynamics... i know that my perception is not damaged. I know that I'm not crazy. I know that I still need to manage my reaction to the problems in communication that I perceive... but I can stop beating myself up for it, feeling like I'm just seeing things that aren't there... I guess, like, I was seeing the actual problem of secretive communication... but my dysregulation was painting this extra layer over the problem of whether the secretive tendencies meant he was cheating. So I was seeing something that wasn't there... but I was also seeing something that WAS there, and it was getting lost in all the dysregulation... but now I found it and maybe we can improve upon that... Idk, do I sound naive? Do I sound selfish? Do I sound like a toxic person who's just trying to make him share responsibility for my own sh*tty behavior? Am I missing the point, because once I act out of a dysregulated/triggered place, it doesn't matter what caused it... the only thing that matters at that point is how I treated him? :/

[@amitsao009]

Thank you for being such great help that you are to us. Also I can't help noticing that your glasses don't reflect light. I am going to get one for myself.

[@lanefaurot]

My biggest problem has been limerence. Thank God there’s a name for it and I can learn why I do this! Yet, I can’t seem to leave my horrible marriage. I’m too afraid…mostly because I’m disabled and we have a 14 year old daughter. As for him, he’s never been a part of any of the financial responsibilities in the family. So, we seem to need each other’s help.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Glad you are here! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@ninamc6116]

I was afraid to leave an abusive husband, but I did. He threatened to kill me, but guess what? He didn’t. I then turned around & chose an abusive boyfriend after that. I ended that 4 years ago. My C-PTSD journey is an everyday battle. I survived several significant traumas as a teenager including my parents beating me severely. I’ve been a nurse almost 30 years so I chose to help people despite everything. Hang in there. Hopefully some day you can have the strength to change it if you want to. God Bless

[@KY-jb4vd]

very wise advice.. thankyou!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Glad it was helpful! -Calista@TeamFairy

[@wildrose12.47]

Off topic, but your hair is beautiful, Anna!

[@katemccarty1420]

Thank god I found you😢

[@tobsternater]

I had to decide I was going to heal....not having a damned clue how I was going to do it...but prepared for such a long time to try to stick to and find the ways to do it. It has taken me so long...I can barely put it all together...but the journey had been eventful...sometimes so weary...but I hung onto the partner I had been with during the attempts at working on it and eventually things are moving...but relationships are hard while youre doing it.

[@bluedolphin4366]

listening to you is learning me so much about myself . I have always said we should look at ourselves before others . but have never made the connection fully to my childhood trauma till I listened to your wisdom , the knowledge of knowing is a powerful tool we can learn from , I get triggered by people I have tried to mix with , I always try to be nice but they see something in me I don't see . must be regulated people and dysregulated people having problems connecting to each other normaly , childhood trauma must leave a scar some of us cannot hide , although when I was a child I have blocked out so many bad memories which I have buried deep within me , they still effect me in the outside world , when I had therapy recently I let them surface for the first time . I even upset my therapist , and I couldn't stop crying there was so much hurt and pain deep inside of me , that I only want to forget again , at least know you have learned me with your'e wisdom , I attract . narcissist in my life , and have learned recently how to deal with them , I love what you said about attracting mosquitoes . made me laugh , really like your videos , thanks , all the best Philip 🐬

[@jsmith7240]

Thanks Anna 💐 I've been using the Daily Practice since finding this channel and it definitely helps put a little space between the emotion and the thought. That little space is really helpful to get a better perspective over time. For me, it doesn't amplify or make the feelings harder, quite the reverse, naming the feeling is very, very helpful. Definitely worth a try!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Excellent!!!! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@NobodyWhatsoever]

I have some mixed opinions on one part: Not trash-talking people. I agree to a large level. I have coworkers who seem to spend every moment just talking sh*t about everyone else. That is unproductive. I choose not to insult when I can, and I see how it is important not to place labels on people to just blame them for your problems. On the other hand, recognizing toxic behaviors in people -- if it is something done honestly and neutrally -- can be used to acknowledge the need for distance from them. For an easy example, me. My mother checks literally every box for narcissism, and the more my sister and I have learned, the more we have spoken to mental health professionals, the more it becomes obvious how much of our traumas growing up are caused directly or indirectly by narcissistic abuse (not solely, of course, but I'll stick with it as an easy and consistent path). As an adult, it becomes necessary to recognize narcissistic tendencies in people to make sure I leave distance and maintain boundaries with them. I don't consider it necessarily trash talk, depending on how the recognition is used. I absolutely 100% appreciate the video. I don't mean the above to invalidate anything about the video, just to share some of my own sometimes-contradictory opinion.

[@oia5882]

Such an amazing fairy🦋 thanks so much!!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

You're welcome, thanks for watching. - Ashley, Team Fairy

[@PDizzleB]

You are absolutely marvelous. Everything you say makes sense! I’m watching and saving lots of your videos.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

So glad to hear they are helping! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@jenniferhodgson1114]

Thank you for an excellent video. So helpful and insightful. Awareness is the key. 🌻

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Absolutely! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@melliness123]

Excellent

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thank you so much 😀 -Cara@TeamFairy

[@TheHostofHeaven]

Thank you for this video! So much wonderful information. Your videos help so much on my healing journey!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

So glad! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@Phoenix-lc7jv]

Thank you for bringing the power back to the individual; back to us!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Love how you put that! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@openmindedinquisitivethirs5013]

I truly appreciate your help Ann, sending you thanks from the UK

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Hope you will come to the London Live event! crappychildhoodfairy.lpages.co/fairy-tour-2022 -Cara@TeamFairy

[@openmindedinquisitivethirs5013]

@@CrappyChildhoodFairy Sadly too far to travel, but many thanks for the invite Ann, hopefully I can catch some here on YT.

[@rebirthed1274]

Dear Fairy, you're truly in your caling. I appreciate your videos. God bless you

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Wow, thank you

[@MIOLAZARUS]

I wonder about drugs. Because as someone who have tried so many psychotropics with no effect but with a hellscape of side effects, I have found cannabis as the only thing that calms me down. It have helped me get in shape, eat healthy (anxiety makes my stomach feel sick and I can't eat) I have made a better life. I know its not a long term sollution, but I think psychedelic compounds look very promising for CPTSD healing, as well as other mental health issues. Drugs are a very broad term and should be defined. Because people surely are drugged up on sugar, but that is legal. And it destroys our microbiome - another important point for healing your mental health.

[@Potatoslice]

Thank you. I enjoy your content very much. it resonates with me I'm glad you called out addictions like food and porn, people who run from their problems by choosing work and superficial relationships.. and challenging us to be better. I cut off Narc mother almost 8 years ago; my life has had big ups and downs but ultimately has gotten so much better. And yes I feel like crawling into a hole sometime.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

I'm glad your life has gotten better. We're cheering for you as you continue to heal. - Ashley, Team Fairy

[@lindasurena]

Thank you very much for you sharing all this information, I am grateful for find you, I talk to God and tell him I want to be healed from my Cptsd and I found you and the healing started…God bless you! ❤️

[@realhealing7802]

Excellent information! I have been dealing with this problem since I was a child. You gave some really excellent suggestions to support my healing. Thank you!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Glad it helped :) -Cara@TeamFairy