Tuesdays With Stories w/ Mark Normand & Joe List -

[@sunny_froyo]

The AC is not that bad guys, didn't even notice it until you mentioned it. Leave it on, be comfortable, take off your shoes, maybe blow each other!

[@pressrepeat2000]

LOL, that’s exactly what I thought they’d start doing when I saw the outfits they were wearing this week!

[@DamnWow]

This pod shows the height difference between these two wild queefs Joe’s legs are in 3D somehow

[@Josepheus_Hallelujah]

Is list tall?

[@malibuice650]

@@Josepheus_Hallelujah 6' 3"

[@jacobrouton7709]

That queasy Queef be packin too. Sheesh

[@TrevorScanlan]

Shorty shorts arent helping

[@deadstellarengine]

Joe looks like he has a 6 week old kitten in his shorts

[@Mrsmp2000]

He’s smuggling Greg in there

[@vasishtvasan75]

@@Mrsmp2000 it's a smug fit

[@DestinationDank24]

Jumped back 100 episodes and I’m not mad at it!

[@whatsamata1888]

Joe: there’s a little lip under the counter Mark: (softly) cleft palate

[@wiggityp]

fuck yeah.

[@AustinG23]

I was at the second San Antonio show!

[@kekmountain2882]

Your heart could have easily stopped while u were asleep, I'm glad you're alive bud we need ya

[@sernastyle]

Recap: Mark almost died, but instead he killed.

[@margaretsander8419]

Typically I’m not a listener, but I tuned in because “We Might Be Drunk” hasn’t posted this week. Great show! Btw, Oppenheimer was the lead on the Manhattan Project.

[@nathanieljuliusvonmeyerstein]

You gotta search “we might be drunk” because they finally have a handle and don’t both upload it anymore. It’s up! And as always, great.

[@rawpower12xu]

On a side note: Mark, dude you are fucking fearless but don’t push it buddy. You are more beloved than you imagine

[@rawpower12xu]

@Cody Heckert I should have said Reckless perhaps... So many stories where a lot of things could go wrong since the start and he still goes for it haha

[@davidperez5089]

While you're at it, quit eating random bung!! HA!! U queef!

[@BeRoyal37]

Agreed. Joe feels the same way I bet

[@rawpower12xu]

Man, that pill story is actually scary

[@AlanMaxey]

Yeah like I was laughing but it's like jesus, dude. Don't die please.

[@j.b.7133]

Joe really yelled at him off camera, because he’s a good dude. The random pill game is beyond dumb, and this guy already drinks too much. Not good

[@MaxBeamer]

@@j.b.7133 damn didnt kno u were there..

[@j.b.7133]

@@MaxBeamer correct

[@JJM2222]

he was fishing for a bit imo

[@dcool2u2]

Thank you Joe for the strong words and tough love you showed Mark at the end of his story. I think you said what we all were thinking. Mark, I'm just a queefy Tuesgay but please stop accepting drugs from these randos. We want you around for a long long time!

[@vic1torious]

List should be a goddamn leg model. Look at those bad boys.

[@xavierpaquin]

He should be a crotch model

[@jonmccabe8425]

23:17 “That’s ahhhh, hard to do” 😂

[@stephenruiz8127]

Fricken love this and we might be drunk. Such a treat througout each week.

[@lopezpdvn]

Martes con Historias, con Marco Normando y José Lista!

[@robertmartinez9480]

I was at the 9pm show on Friday waiting to get in. I thought it was running late cuz Mark was killing but it's even funnier that he says he bombed. Come to think of it the people walking out were pretty quiet. Glad he's heathy but now you know S.A. is a party town! He did kill the second show.

[@samkilgore2373]

I was at the early Friday show in San Antonio. Mark still killed it even though he was clearly off. Thanks for the awesome show and for not canceling!

[@reneschoolderman7835]

Yessss. Thuesdays with shorts

[@jessebrown1116]

Lmfao

[@Danielacastillohi]

The gays look like they’re in one of those optical illusion rooms where one person on one end looks gigantic and the person on the opposite end looks tiny

[@rich697]

I laugh every time joe says my fathers gay randomly

[@tds7078]

I’ve lost so much melanin listening to this

[@noone-k1h]

God DAMN, fatty!!! NEVER mix booze and benzos. We love ya! Don't die!

[@matguerra333]

I do it everyday, it's fine. Green Hulks are not benzos, their Vicodin (painkillers...) Dan is a dumbass

[@sketcharmslong6289]

Yeah usually I don't listen to comment section knowledge but absolute fax, paramedic I knew told me that booze and benzos is a great way to accidentally wake up dead

[@sketcharmslong6289]

@@matguerra333 haha mate I've done it many times too but every day? really not that fine bud 😂

[@benpreston2163]

@@matguerra333 ya but you will have to have dialysis when you are 40 cause your liver is funked up

[@shootboxpodcast]

@@sketcharmslong6289 if you don't wake up dead, you're waking up with a criminal record

[@jesse_t1000]

Definitely never heard of Xanax being called Green Hulks..lol. Xanax bars are usually a long tablet but white. Like Joe said, Xanax is a banzo and affects drinking severely. Glad youre okay Mark! And shout out to the Young Blood for having your back.

[@bens5974]

There's green ones, different mg

[@Buglife.352]

Incredible hulks, green 5mg bars

[@SurrealiS]

Any RX's that are white are normally generic, the green / yellow bars are name brand Xanax. For instance when Joe mentioned he did xanax all the time "back in the day" those were most likely the .25mg or .5mg's and generix it sounds like this dude hooked up Mark w real deal Bars which is WAY more MG's than what most "non-initiated" as I call them (aka non drug addicts) are used to seeing. But yes generic bars are normally white, and are easily divided into 3-4 doses.

[@jesse_t1000]

@@SurrealiS yeah i mean a whole bar on top of booze is a recipe for disaster regardless. This queef better be careful, we cant lose him!

[@freddiealejandre3462]

Lol I've stayed at that red roof during fiesta and yeah it's bad . Glad u made it through Mark . Love u down here in Texas.

[@Gibsoncustom89]

Loving the effort of trying to figure out the splitting of the atom then moving on to bananas

[@kylevids3951]

You are easily impressed huh.

[@adamvogt7937]

Was she a registered nurse?? Uhh she had gloves... 🤣🤣

[@diaperriflez9391]

One of my favorite eps in a looong time. Mouse and red roof stories were both killer!

[@dinomerk9149]

Lol I used to get green hulks in high school and marks story is exactly wat would happen to u if u were drinking and take one lol theyre no joke

[@jacobrouton7709]

Yeah he totally took 3-4 Bars like they were blue footballs and turned into a zombie. I think he either was really stupid with his dosing and took em while he was wasted or they guy hooking him up didn't properly explain how powerful those things are

[@jacobrouton7709]

Also that dude who was with him the whole time and hooked him up, the ex-addict," is either the coolest guy on the planet and a lifesaver or totally drugged him to professionally"leap-frog." I.e-He used Mark's face to login to his phone and get a mainline to the manager, probably established a relationship for saving Mark's weekend, instantly has a wild story and "clout" within the Comedy community, etc. The list goes on but I just got a funny feeling about this one

[@B34STIFIED]

@@jacobrouton7709 the ex addict was the host, the opener was getting him the help

[@bananacatleon]

Awesome Quebec Nordiques shirt! 👕

[@DemocracyFirst2025]

Joe is right. Mark is lucky to be alive. Also, whenever u have a pill ur unfamiliar w/, Google the imprint on the pill and it well tell u what it is. If the imprint is scratched off, throw it away.

[@JBGC916]

Mark got a big ol Xanny bar.. those green ones are rare these days...

[@DemocracyFirst2025]

@@PearlDrumsHead no no that’s why fentanyl is so dangerous. It’s being snuck into everything on the black market. U think you’re taking a benzo or a low dose opiate, it’s laced w/ fentanyl, u go to sleep forever. Happens every day.

[@DemocracyFirst2025]

@@PearlDrumsHead my last comment bc you’re boring me- I never implied Mark took fentanyl. I said he’s lucky he’s alive bc it could’ve been. Take it away fatty!

[@huckleberrylachow2202]

he’s lucky to be alive in general. he probably did just take too much xanax, mixing benzos with booze is so damn dangerous and makes you blackout and you don’t remember a thing

[@likwidmagik]

Joe List with the Qu.bec Noridques shirt! YEEEESSSSS!

[@janeoppo4886]

Great story Mark! It was probably a xanax bar, long rectangular pill. The dosage is imprinted on the pill, they are usually 2mg. The smaller white pill Joe described are normally 0.25 or 0.5mg

[@gourmetghost]

the green hulks off the street have always made me puke and black out so I see where mark is coming from, if he had a schoolbus(yellow 2mg) he might not have had such a great tale!

[@Carebear_311]

Those bitches were pressed. They didn't come from a pharmacy.

[@andrewdylanjones1562]

The white ones are the lowest .25

[@HelloCecilia]

You should never turn to drugs to help you sleep Mark (besides weed, it's natural lols). Try chamomile, lavender or ginger tea before bed, maybe a diffuser with Bulgarian lavender will knock ya out? Take care. ♥️

[@liljillface123]

What a wild story! Just glad Mark is okay now, that could of ended badly. I don't want to subscribe to another podcast so please stay alive buddy! And what a good guy Joe letting that mouse out safely, I feel like Joe and Sarah would be such sweet parents. Love you gays!

[@GwizProducer84]

" it's not up there it's in the kitchen ". Is a bit no question. Had me dying

[@kaiharris]

The double mic fart really wrecked me 😂😭

[@doug892]

Is she a registered nurse? Ahh, she had gloves... lol

[@shadymercury]

love when the one guy takes his shoes off to chill in his black socks

[@Norvillescoobs]

The double mic fart is a whole new level of friendship

[@josephleemartinify]

Mark Normand really took 3 (very most likely pressed) hulk Xanax bars....I’m fuckiing weak....(if you’re a drug user you know how crazy and relatable this story is lmao)

[@dizzy8950]

Yea I've had my run in with benzos few years ago. Lost some friends to it and from it. I hope he quits while he's ahead. He's already got the drinking habit. Hulk and school buses are usually laced af. Fucking Russian roulette.

[@adamgm84]

Sitting here, 6'3". shorts binding up just like Joe's. Life is good.

[@ATX-Hi8]

Had to stare at Joe's package for an hour straight.

[@d.j.ashley]

Same thing here man except I'm what the gays refer to as a "disgusting fat person." Not bragging 🥴

[@viON95]

Haven't felt this gay since last week

[@MaxBeamer]

😂😂😂

[@davidgarrison8053]

Colbert's Peabody must be pissin' Joe off 🤣

[@jakeegarris]

Nothing like a benzo blackout to really make you rethink things

[@LizaVillarreal3]

Love these two queefs. Great episode! 👍

[@TheUnitedWeStand1776]

"Thought it was leslie jones" 😂😂

[@nichole8609]

"thigh meat" 😂 Dang that story Mark told is hilarious but pretty worrisome.

[@TheNotaryMom]

Hi Hitler! I've been a fan a both of you for a while and I'm embarrassed to say I just started listening to your podcast. Im binging it all day. It's giving me something to live for. You guys really know how to tell a story! Mark never ever ever mix Xanax and alcohol again 🙏🏻 Gay for life ❤️

[@chriskirk2915]

Sounds like a Xanax bar it’s like 3 reg ones

[@HBinnie1]

What I imagine Marks final words will be 54:37

[@DaveDoesCambodia]

I think Joe buys his shorts from the NBA in the 70's. But who can resist these two top notch comedians? Loving this pod!

[@JohnnyNatrium]

I have a friend who just wears shirts from Primark's salvation army trash-bins it seems, but it's a great bit to me - colours like bodily fluids covered with big Logo/Meme art of things that were popular around when smart-phones just came out. There's something about it being way too recent to be vintage, and also being tatty even back in the day when the topics were actually fresh/relevant. It works magic somehow on the streets too - when I was walking with him I lost count of how many strangers we passed by that actually called him out to his face when he wore his neon-green, loud-logo'd Angry Birds tee. One of them, we were in a packed partying street in Amsterdam, and some big black bouncer of a sex joint we were just walking past would point from a fair distance and just call out "angry birds" without any expression on his face. It's a whole other level of funny mixed with confusion to me.

[@chattanoogapropertymanagem3622]

It was my flue game 😂😂

[@droo74]

The best story I've heard so far!

[@locast4365]

Sounds like the Party Nurse took my VIP table that I didn't show up for since I was still queefing it up in Cancun. Glad you're still alive Mark!

[@andrewb.2895]

Martes con cuentos! Comedia! 👊

[@sayotefries]

This episode is on fire!

[@BOSprodz]

8:32 I was expecting Mark to say that it actually was a 'yellow lab'

[@jhansen7443]

haha Mark you had 2mg bars my man. We used to call those green school busses.

[@patrickbaginski]

Crazy this pods not more popular

[@Revolution1117]

Jesus Mark, glad I didn't wake up and see you trending on Twitter with everyone talking about what a great guy you "were". As a fellow recovered alkie & addict like Joe, all I can say is that you might replay Joe's responses a few times re: your drunken "Zanax" episode . He's spot on with everything he said. You're one of my favorite comics & got a bright future ahead of you, ya big gay. Don't be a queef and screw it up, or worse...

[@kevintester2527]

WE CAN'T HEAR THE AIR CONDITIONER. STOP BAKING YOURSELVES. You're not a chocolate queef cookie! 😂

[@AtilioEscobar]

Mark too a WHOLE Zany bar. Come on man! =]

[@mmc577]

Best pod on the internet

[@larrycampbell4240]

I love how the guy on the right slipped his shoes off like he did makes me happy

[@marcus8016]

LMAO...love this podcast!

[@boosterbrosllc4681]

That’s bad news bears, Jerry!

[@jessebrown1116]

Those shorts Jerry!

[@HankG]

Love you Mark, don't want to see anything happen to you. The green pills from a stranger were worrisome enough but to jump back into drinking the next night after having all that happen is next level. Might be time for a break from the partying ya smelly queef.

[@JASP3R_SPOTIFY]

thanks dad

[@harbordetail6852]

Yo ep406, listed as ep306 on youtube. Mazel

[@CarlosSantos-gs2hp]

im portuguese living in Luxembourg... and i missed seeing you... daaaamn... hope you guys come to portugal too.. its a beautiful country and we all speak english... queef... aaaalright

[@andrewdylanjones1562]

You're not supposed to take the whole bar,they have 4 grooves in them you're just supposed to take a quarter of one lol each pill is 2mg , so a quarter is half a mg

[@rebeccaanne8546]

Hey took a few of them too

[@phoenixmysticised88]

Diggin' List's shorts

[@nvmm166]

Sounds like a normal drinking and Xanax story, ive had a couple lol

[@LuciaLmfao]

lmao the spanish bit in the beginning

[@sncts8132]

Mark popped a hulk after a night of drinking 😂😂😂sheesh

[@leo78744]

43:06 you’re welcome

[@fbrizay]

Thank you

[@ChundaCaChunda]

I love you Mark Normand! I’m a little hungover and a little gay ❤️

[@jabasto]

44:14 Oh man! It's so close that I can feel the smell of your socks.

[@thall3086]

This is an underrated pod

[@garthvooder1402]

From what he described the pill looking like it was a Xanax long skinny and green but it's four doses they have three lines where you break them. My buddy back in the day took a whole one after drinking and passed out on his front steps and I had to watch over him all night

[@PearlDrumsHead]

It’s not 4 doses. It’s a 2mg pill just like the rest of the Xanax bars. They were probably just fresh. The green ones are always strong af

[@greatscott175]

Does the title read ep 306 instead of 406?

[@bsykesbeats]

Hey Shelbo, it says 306 in the title, but it should say 406.

[@AntonioThunderbottom]

Couldn't hear the AC. Joe's anxiety strikes again! haha

[@mysterydata9640]

Plz don't die mark. Don't leave Joe alone. 😢

[@catherinegilliam4202]

Lincoln was shot in Ford’s Theater, not a Kennedy theater

[@aliblanco2757]

I wish I could hangout with those queefs 🤣

[@Rigofromtheforest]

Never take pressed Xanax from strangers

[@skinnylegendz6940]

Potentially the biggest story in the history of humans whether it's Aliens or man made technology, a leap that would make the Industrial revolution look like a joke....is boring? You're one of a kind Joe List 😂

[@nathanboskoski]

I love this story Mark normand I’ve been there before

[@MrMetalhorse]

26:00 to 27:07 was fucking hilarious

[@TrevorScanlan]

If he took 3 greens, he is lucky to be breathing

[@nickm6515]

Mark glad you are okay can tell Joe is a true friend and cares for you just like that mouse. Don't do anything stupid would like to see you do stand up live in person sometime soon.

[@davidmays30]

These dudes are quick with it.

[@kylemcgill2966]

*Joe : I feel like Kramer with the dog* *Mark : COUGH* *You're quick Normand!*

[@GooTubeMONOPOLY]

Smuckers

[@gloryinfinita5380]

"I waddle my fat ass up the stairs"-Normand 🤣

[@Troplord]

24:40 Shout out to TYSO

[@Odenix75]

"Comedy.... " 🤣😅🤣🤣👍

[@MaxBeamer]

thats 100% xanax 😂 next time break off a fourth Normand..

[@3sheekfpv976]

thank you! all these dumb comments are so annoying.. the green rectangular Xanax thats scored into 4 segments is the 2mg alprozolam mark is probably used to taking the .5 mg football shaped xanax pills.. if youre not used to it and take an entire “hulk” especially after drinking you can be out for 2 days.. sleepiness, memory loss and acting silly/ lowered inhibitions are the most common effects, not fentanyl (aside from the sleep), and fent wont last that long, PLUS! they dont normaly counterfeit the hulks or the blue xanax bars(yet) for a few reasons that i wont get into, the white and yellow are the most counterfeited xanax. not to mention texas generally is known as the regions supplier of authentic pills sourced from the thousands of crooked docs, pill mills, and pharmaceutical storage facilities where millions of pills seem to vanish from every year..

[@freemancrosby1261]

Glad I found some normal people here! Jesus Christ, considering this is a nsfw comedy podcast you’d think some folks would have some experience with recreational drug use. Haha.

[@nitricpumps]

@@3sheekfpv976 Not sure where you are but here in canada the green hulks and yellow buses are very popular to be pressed/counterfeited, usually it is flualp instead of alprazolam, or some other analogue. Actually almost all xanax available from the black market here is pressed and is rarely just alprazolam.

[@clevermissfox]

@@3sheekfpv976 why wouldn't they counterfeit the blue or green? Curious.

[@babalootukeke]

Hey Mark... Lunes, Lundi is moon day. Sun day is... Drum roll... Sunday :D Queef queef!