Adoption Stories | A Flawless Films Production | Maureen and Elayne

Maureen Downey-Hickey was adopted at the age of 2 from Bessborough in Cork and sent to the US. She returns to Ireland for the first time in 50 years to find her natural mother. Elayne Sherlock found her natural mother through her adoption agency, but despite years of correspondence and cancelled meetings, she has never met her. When she told the agency of the emotional turmoil she was in, they had a surprise for her.
Watch on Thursdays at 8.30pm on TV3 or catch-up on 3Player at www.tv3.ie/3player/show/346/0/... and follow us on Twitter @TV3Ireland.

[@isopath1]

I totally agree 2 year-olds have memories. I have memories of myself at that age, even to buildings I was in, I can describe perfectly to this day 60 years on

[@user-cy4vw1qj9m]

I too have memories of when I was two and older than you.

[@martinasikk6162]

Me too. Memories from before 4 years, I know because we then moved to another country. 🇸🇪🇪🇪

[@kateleurs5012]

I have memories from when I was still in a cot. They were frightening and traumatic. My mother verified them. I must of been 18 months. Don't underestimate what is imprinted on very young minds.

[@He805]

Maureen, you are really a warmhearted , understanding person! You really touched me!

[@teamtwe]

I agree :-)

[@lisab.1559]

Maureen I too went through the same rejection, I was raised by my birth mom and her husband who adopted me, by putting his name on my birth certificate as the legal dad. I found out when I was in my 20s. When I tried to seek out and speak to my birth dad he rejected me. Its hard, I know.

[@removeall23]

Beautiful to see the love of sisters, really moving.

[@a697ag]

Elayne and Tricia are a gift to each other

[@ellenjennings9406]

You and your sister are so warmhearted and lovely people it is sad that you were both with different parents and your mum did not want to see either of you but out of the blue you both got a letter saying that your birth mum did want to meet you two that must have been lovely I am so pleased for you both Ellen Jennings

[@annedevine1021]

I was adopted and have my family .... one sis and I are really close .... we love life ... stay strong people xx

[@hurst-cs2jh]

Hi Anne, how are you doing?

[@annedevine1021]

@@hurst-cs2jh I’m great thank you!

[@hurst-cs2jh]

@@annedevine1021 You're welcome. I'm from Texas, where are you from if I may ask?

[@annedevine1021]

@@hurst-cs2jh Northern Ireland

[@hurst-cs2jh]

@@annedevine1021 It's nice to meet you here. I guess I would like if we get acquainted as friends hope you don't mind having me as a friend?

[@ramonam8577]

No excuses for the mom. Selfish. God bless Maurine.

[@charliesgrl2]

Is there a follow up to Maureen’s story? Did she ever meet her Mother? Ever get a response to the letter?

[@lauramarta1784]

I'm glad they have each other. I think the mom is sorry for doing twice.

[@sharonmchugh7730]

Would love a follow up

[@maryfagan9373]

Did the social really ring her Mother, I'm very cautious and can't trust these organisations

[@kristinebailey6554]

They have no reason not to. Some people just cannot revisit a bad time in their life.

[@goodygal4203]

I used to wish that I was adopted and that my real parents would come and save me... that didn't happen. I wish you were my sister...

[@katekate8973]

Hope you find your family

[@goodygal4203]

@@katekate8973 I just meant that life for my twin and myself was horrible and that I wished that these weren't our parents and that someone would have come to save us...

[@scottfuller1711]

The thing about Irish women, putting a child up for adoption is a shameful act for these people. When you come back years later and want to confront her with her act the mother isn't going to want to face it. Irish women are a little crazy to begin with, trying to drag her dirty laundry out into the light of day against her will isn't the way to go about it.

[@patricemasson6828]

This is what my wife is afraid of

[@marilynvallance]

I would imagine her birth mother fears she will be angry.

[@hurst-cs2jh]

Hi Marilyn, how are you doing?

[@darcyann66]

Maureen's story happens allot. I am not sure how it works legally there but in America when the birth parent or child says no contact even when they search years later social workers are NOTallowed to call them with letters because it is considered harassment.Ireally doubt the social worker read the letter to the biological mother

[@itsjustmyopinionbut1671]

darcyann66 I thought that here in the US, adoption records were made public record after a child turns 18. I this is the case now in several states. I think that’s really quite evil of a birth parent to do to a child. They definitely aren’t thinking about the child they gave away.

[@FlawlessFilmsIE]

She did call her and read the letter to her.

[@timmannen]

darcyann66 Although I think that Maureen’s mother could have made some effort to try to get in contact, I can actually understand why she doesn’t want to meet her daughter, especially given the fact that she was born in a mother’s home. I was raised in Ireland when religion was at its most oppressive. Anything who was deemed immoral especially homosexuals (me) and unmarried mothers were vilified. Search on KZbin for videos regarding the mother’s homes to see for yourself. I would believe that her mother was treated severely by the nuns for her “sin” and that the memories are still too hard to handle .

[@Revelation21-4-]

@@itsjustmyopinionbut1671 I agree I think its very cold and cruel of the birth mum to reject her own baby even as an adult.

[@NativeNYerChicHK]

It’s just my opinion but No, adoption records in most states are sealed permanently. The only way contact can be made is if the biological parent writes a letter to be held in their child’s file stating they’d be willing to be found and/or agrees to contact in the event that the adoption agency contacts them about their biological child searching for them. AND the adopted child seeks out their biological parents or agrees to be contacted. Both parties must be in agreement for that information to be unsealed. Otherwise if it’s just one or the other searching it is not given to one if the other isn’t in agreement, it remains sealed forever. Actually in NY it’s almost impossible for adopted children to get any information at all from the state, but even harder if “Catholic Charities” was involved. That’s why in this day & age DNA testing is the way to go, there are no legal barriers if you find them on your own through DNA testing.

[@thinkinoutloud.1]

Originally the mom wanted to see the daughter. Then the moms social worker took control. Soon the mom said no, she didnt want to talk to daughter. It's not the mom's fault the meeting wont take place. It's the State, the Orphanage. The mom has been handled and manipulated, she isn't going to be allowed to tell the story of her abuse. The daughter would tell the media and sue the institution. Best to keep that daughter away.

[@user-cy4vw1qj9m]

This is old I know by the buildings. I would love a follow up on the story?

[@audraparker3226]

Am I the only one who noticed the little boy say "you're a shithead?"

[@theshortkidsz7338]

That kid was me, lol literally

[@theshortkidsz7338]

@@carinagrennan129 I did

[@wesleywesson]

I'm not crying you're crying

[@annaravani1]

Maureens mum may not know?

[@sophiamcnamara9851]

Don't think they look alike at all its not nessacary but so happy for them

[@ggford2729]

This is good BUT would be so much better if Maureen's speech could be better understood - wonder if the recording could be slowed when she speaks.

[@painfreesunrise]

this mother must have a heart of STONE. more than sad - I find it shocking.....

[@isopath1]

Not necessarily. Dont forget the stigma of being pregnant and unmarried in the 60s. She may not have been able to get passed that. Have some compassion

[@isopath1]

I cant agree. You have to remember that in those days being unmarried and pregnant was especially horrendous for a young Catholic lass. Have some compassion

[@Odo55]

@@isopath1 Thank you for saying that. There's no way of knowing. The birth parents who say no to a meeting may very well be feeling shame, guilt, embarrassment, fear, intimidation by family members, any number of things. They may just not be in a place of peace within themselves. They may be living in poor conditions, may have substance abuse or mental health issues. To come to the conclusion that " this mother must have a heart of STONE " is a quick judgement and a simplistic response.

[@patricemasson6828]

Looking for Linda Nowlan

[@judis6224]

Come on people time to stand up for yourselves,get all this lot behind bars.get your lives back,they dont get what does to childen of all ages,all about backhanders.

[@artemismoon1083]

I feel so bad for Maureen but clearly it was for the better.

[@530MAIDU]

I feel sorry for this lady because she wants something that doesn’t really exist... she seems like in denial and the rejection portion is so painful to watch?? Her mother has made a choice and it’s something she seems to not be able to accept. This was a sad story... God help her have peace and closure.. the Lord says He knew you before you were formed in the mother’s womb and He has a good future and plan? So be happy that you have a kind partner and loving parents who chose a baby they wanted. 💌🙇🏻‍♀️

[@jokeuijlenburg7269]

Shawneya Hedrick sr

[@jokeuijlenburg7269]

E

[@jokeuijlenburg7269]

Nv

[@jokeuijlenburg7269]

Oawi

[@dannquan7696]

Trish sounds more English but awesome 👍 story

[@susannaude8514]

Not wanting to meet your own children...boggles the mind. It is your loss ladies. One can only pity you.

[@denisethierens8146]

How can you not want to meet your child omg she is heartless

[@voicije]

this can be ...rape...or incest...something very hard on the mother for not wanting anything to do with her child..

[@christinaspears4309]

I am over here saying the same thing. Not just 1 child, but 2 beautiful daughters. I have cried so many tears for them, & wish I could give them both a comforting hug. But God has brought them together to heal the pain & void from their mother. God Bless them both. I will also say a prayer for their confused & heartless mother. God can heal & fix everything 🙏💙💛

[@RLScheurman]

i still am trying, and the church and state in america lie so well its impossible.

[@RLScheurman]

i am one of these childre, a redhead, 35, or as i call myself, wagu beef, a commodity, in their eyes.

[@taniaahlfeldt3137]

Denise Thierens we don't know the brokenness in her life... she is living from that place I think.

[@fallwonder148]

I think she was stollen from her mom

[@jitaamesuluma9730]

WHAT A HORRIBLE WOMAN , HOW COULD SHE BE THAT CLOSE TO MEET HER MAKER WITHOUT SHE HELPS HER DAUGHTER TO AT LEAST MEET HER SIBLINGS , I AM GLAD SHE WROTE THE LETTER , I AM GLAD SHE WAS THAT BRAVE , sorry i had caplock on , i feel for her , she has had a tough road , i know this for sure , been there done that

[@jitaamesuluma9730]

ok , that might be harsh judgement, she might have been in the system too , at those laundries that enslaved girls a fucked their brains up, i need to stop seeing things in black and white

[@annaravani1]

I was just about to say that? There is a chance her mother still hasn,t been told!Catholic church has a lot to hide in Ireland!

[@isopath1]

What a horribly judgmental cow you are

[@ppl2gether]

And thats why someone who has been adopted and grew in a lovely family have to give the opportunity to his/her adopted parents to be loved and loved them. She didn’t give that opportunity to her mom and her real mom didn’t want her. She should say sorry to her adopted mom.. she is the one who raise, love and care about her. Family is not blood always family is the one who love and care about you.

[@paulettemiller7237]

Why should she say sorry to her adoptive parents? She's not replacing them. She's looking for her roots, trying to form an identity. She wants to look at a face and see someone who looks like her. It's nothing against the wonderful couple who raised her...they are her "real" parents, just not her bio/birth parents.