Man Laments After Wife He Took From Nigeria To The US, Suddenly Wants A Divorce

[@temi.a8533]

I think the reason why men go to Nigeria to find a wife is because they think the ladies over there are naive and they can behave more African than those ladies already in diaspora. Unknowingly to them, You can't live in America with Nigerian mentality where you will have to work just as the same way your husband does. And yet the husband man still want the same commitment as an African woman. I tell people African men especially Nigerian men should learn how to support their wives like Indian and Chinese men do in home making. It can be very exhausting when you have to do it all and then still do your 40hrs per week. Nigerian men need to understand that its not by providing money alone, it's about working together with your wife. Respect each other and enjoy life. If I'm cooking and cleaning please help me with the lawn or snow or with the kids. Don't just sit down there and be expecting your food. Do something that will make me smile and say thank you. That way, you're relieving her stress. She's just a nurse, not an alpha!! The story is hard to judge until we hear from the wife too.

[@nevilleagbonwaneten5749]

People do not go to Africa to get a woman just because they feel the women are naive. Most guys go home to marry because they desire someone from their homeland and for compatibility because of common culture. Most Nigerian men do not like marrying outside their race because that is sometimes a problem in itself if you marry outside of your race. Many people have been used as means to an end by some unscrupulous women who are in it just for the money or material gains. Some of them are only interested in collecting but adverse to contributing to their husband’s success. They’re very quick to help their parents and their siblings while it’s always drama in the home when it comes to helping the man’s side of the family. These are some of the tendencies most of the women exhibit which is a window into the mindset of most of them. That in itself is a bad side of human nature, when it’s ok to assist your family but not ok to assist your husband’s family. I agree that some men are evil and mistreat their wives but most men are kindhearted and do a lot to help their wives become somebody in life. The fact that you’ve become a nurse or have a better paying job does not mean you start disrespecting your husband and treat him like a slave. Many Nigerian men have decent jobs and do not need money from their wives to live good. Only the men that have not positioned themselves to be ok irrespective of what their spouses make, that become despondent and feel unfulfilled because their wives make more money. For me, I do not really care what she makes because I see it as her money and she can spend it the way she likes. Likewise, I should have the liberty to invest my money the way I chose after taking care of my responsibilities for the home as the man. The problem is that some women like to keep their money and also overburden their husbands in their financial demands. This is usually the beginning of tension in the home which overtime, degenerate into something big and irreconcilable. If there was no love from the beginning, it’s alway a drag and struggle for the marriage to work. It’s only a matter of time before it crumbles.

[@susanmajek]

​@@nevilleagbonwaneten5749 If your assertion that "People do not go to Africa to get a woman just because they feel the women are naive. Most guys go home to marry because they desire someone from their homeland and for compatibility because of common culture," then why don't they marry the millions of women from their culture in the city, state, & country they are in? This is not the 1960s when there were few Africans abroad. Many guys actually know women from their tribe or close enough in the Diaspora. If they'd just ignore them, that would be great, but I've seen them use those women by sleeping with them, eating their home cooked food, living with them, using their cars, borrowing money from them etc, but when it's time to marry, their brain resets and they consider them "defective used goods" unsuitable for marriage and go home seeking "fresh virginal well-raised" wives only to be disappointed since karma is real. I put it to you that it is because they don't just want women from their culture. They want naive personally orchestrated "fresh off the boat" wives who play dumb to marry them, to be promoted into slave-wives who can't assert themselves or possess knowledge of the opportunities available to them and laws protecting them abroad, they can lord over, but their plan backfires...

[@floBar51651]

@@nevilleagbonwaneten5749 they go to Africa to pick up wives because they don't trust the African women abroad. There are Nigerian women are abroad, students, etc. Why didn't he marry one there. Because he is looking for someone that does not know their left and right.

[@4-real950]

Please repeat 🙏❤♥

[@methodmand9111]

@@nevilleagbonwaneten5749 YOU HAVE SENSE

[@GBRAngL8030]

I am a nigerian woman leaving in US. I am completely disagree with your judgement on women attitude in US. The Nigeria men in abroad can't stand their Nigeria woman success. Abroad is not Africa. Both people has to adjust to the new life.

[@dominquelucas4971]

As an American woman married to a Nigerian man, it’s the other way around. My husband looked for me just to get a green card. I was in school when I met my husband. We were dating and got married. I provided the house and the stability. My husband became successful small small. Returned to Nigeria in January. Took all my money. And then I found out he’s already married. Then he needed to return to the states and now he’s begging for me to sponsor him to return. I’m getting a divorce now.

[@ONpopularTopics]

Wow! I am sorry about that. I suffered emotional and psychological abuse from my ex-African American wife even though she provided the same comfort at the initial stage just like you, she'd always threaten me with deportation at any slight issue we'd have as couples. Its sickening. She'd always remind me that I wouldn't be what I am without her. I hope that wasn't the case as well.

[@susanmajek]

Most Nigerian men are polygamous and patriarchal in nature and it's only a matter of time before he has someone on the side. Also, our cultures are very different. Our men require respect, lack of accountability and deferment you probably weren't raised to put up with. Also, you probably don't do everything he thought a wife would too, so it goes both ways. But cut your losses, cos there's nothing he won't tell you, so you can sponsor his return. If he speaks to you on the phone, he can even use voodoo to speak to you, and before you know it, you're helping him. But not all 9ja men are like that, you can find one who's been abroad for some time who has his papers and genuinely likes you. Just like jobs now have you answer the question if you will require sponsorship now or in the future in your application and if you say yes, they won't call you, talk less of hiring you, just ensure the man doesn't need anything from you before getting with him...

[@ONpopularTopics]

@@susanmajek your response reeks of hasty generalization and show of stupidity. What do you mean by '...our men.... lack of accountability and deferment' If that is how your Dad and brothers are raised, I wasn't raised like that and my Dad is different. Speak for yourself.

[@susanmajek]

@@ONpopularTopicsHasty generalizations? Really? Got u all triggered... Aww. You are the one showing stupidity cos there are many such stories. If it doesn't apply to u as you said, why respond? But I know u don't want her schooled on game. The truth is bitter. U don't have to like it.

[@FOH45]

exactly at least u understand how horrible it feels....its not cool regardless of who it happens to, woman or man

[@maameabena1458]

My husband and l in America for long time, our culture oppress women and my husband was soo sensible to change African mentality. We have lived 15yrs in abroad and we living peacefully. Most of our men are narcissistic because our culture nurtures men to be narcissistic. Marriage is partnership and of teamwork

[@michaelajayi8546]

This is the truth

[@jaguartata6995]

Story story story. Are we more cultural than asians. Their women work harder, earn bigger bucks, and still respect their culture. Their husbands love them all the way as they support each other African women are wannabes You all watch programs on blac American culture and assume that is your culture. Call a spade a spade.

[@ramseyabsessien8990]

If you say our culture oppresses women....may be because women are sold to men by their family members. How on earth, 2 people love themselves and want to marry, but one person (the man) is charged money by the woman's family? How is that partnership? The first thing we should stop is selling women to men in the name of marriage. Marriage/love/companionship/partnership...call it whatever name, should not make a man pay anything to the woman's family.

[@teslarstewart4932]

God bless ur husband ur husband did well that’s the only way to make ur marriage work in America because once woman discovered that they don’t have to be oppressed anymore 😝

[@teslarstewart4932]

@@jaguartata6995 so true the Asian men play woman roll always to help their wife African men would never do that.

[@victoronosibeluo665]

When you marry an internet wife. Some of these women don't like or love those men but accept to marry them because they live abroad. These women want to run away from Nigeria.

[@aliceokyere7037]

Can these people talk about their marital issues without stating that the person changed because they were sponsored abroad? The sense of entitlement some people have cause they took someone abroad is just crazy. Nobody will change if there’s no underlining issue. Sometimes people change due to different reasons. For example, a lady becomes a Nurse and gets a job, the job can be so stressful that it can change her a little, make her tired and aggressive if she doesn’t have an understanding and supportive spouse. People please stop assuming someone changed due to the environment, communication is key. Talk to your spouse and MEN PLEASE HELP YOUR SPOUSE AT HOME, it’s really not easy.

[@stephybeauty767]

May God bless u dear sis, life is not really easy here...Some of our men r d problem.

[@nevilleagbonwaneten5749]

I very much understand your perspective on this issue and your reasons are equally valid. This is because I can identify with it hundred percent. Most men were not raised to do house chores while growing up, so it’s a problem for them to for example do the dishes, wash the bathrooms, help with the kids or not to talk of doing laundry. I was raised to know how to do these things by my grandma and as a male child with so many females around me. My grandma used to tell me that it is a virtue for a man to be independent and not depend on his sisters or wife to do everything for him. I can also cook very well and my wife can attest to that without any equivocation. These things were part of my upbringing as such I’m comfortable doing them without any qualms. My wife is in the medical field and for all the years we been together, I have never placed any demands on her money because I plan my budget so I don’t have to go cap in hand beginning for financial help from her. We have our obligations in the home spelt out and I have tried over the years for money not to be a problem. I’m not an advocate of joint bank account because it is usually a source of friction between spouses. People have suggested it but I refused to go that route because money has a very devious spirit that comes with it. When I undertake anything, I plan on being able to do it without depending on much help to see it through. If she assists financially, I’m happy but if she does not, I insulate myself from being bitter about it. Though she complains sometimes that I’m too independent and not share stuff with her, I do so in order to avoid unnecessary bickering over money. It may take me a longer time to execute the project, I maintain my sanity and avoid unnecessary drama. It is true that most women like to keep their money, I believe it is their upbringing or the way they’re wired. It doesn’t matter to me even if she made money as long as she does not disrespect me I’m ok with it because I am able to plan my budget as well. No matter how small your salary is, if you’re able to plan your budget and invest wisely, you will be ok as a man. It is never wise to depend on your wife’s income because it has the potential of breeding disrespect. As a man, it’s alway advisable to divest your mind from your wife’s money and plan your finances independent of her contributing significantly to it otherwise she will rub it on your face someday. People can say you don’t love her just because you do not have joint account with her, I must advise people that having joint account together can be the beginning of problems as well. I have always maintained a stance of trying to do things around my income though it takes longer to get things accomplished faster. I’m not in competition with anybody and I’m not out to impress anyone either. Everyone has his destiny and it better to live your life for you, rather than through other peoples prism. Money they say is the root of all evil. Avoid getting into confrontation over money and you maintain your peace of mind.

[@susanmajek]

@@nevilleagbonwaneten5749 God bless you and your grandmother. If more men were raised like you, many marriages will not breakup. But in most cases the opposite is the reality. A US based Yoruba guy narrated that his wife called him one day on her way home from work to make garri/eba for him. He went to the kitchen to prepare it. His mother who lived with them was livid, saying his wife had cooked "curry" her term for voodoo for him, so he had become a dumb cook for his wife. He said he told his mom he didn't see the big deal & besides the soup and stew he was warming up to go with the garri was cooked by his wife. When the wife got home, his mom was at the door threatening fire and brimstone that the wife shouldn't come into the house cos she had "charmed" her son. The wife had to kneel down outside begging her mother-in law for hours for forgiveness and to be allowed to come into her very own matrimonial home she supports financially. How many women can do that? They will just call 911 and the mother-in-law will be removed, the marriage is fractured because the man will be hurt and his ego damaged, and eventually both parties will go their own way...So you see our patriarchal culture is the problem, not even men persay, but they should also reason and make changes.

[@abidemicaleb6156]

Everyone's point here is valid but I have a question or two, why is it mostly our African women who changes after feeling they are at the top of the world? why do they wait till they get abroad before noticing their husband can't help with chores? Why do they wait till they earn more than their husband before knowing they have equal right as their husbands. Here in India, men don't know how to do chores, their mothers and sisters does it all for them, 90% of the Indian men are not romantic forget what they show you in movies. The women here pays the groom price yet they remain submissive both home and abroad. I wonder what would happen to African men if the women were to pay the groom price. A man who thinks the best thing for him is to take his wife abroad to live with him and help her succeed rather than abandon her in Africa will feel used if the woman gets there and suddenly change. My opinion is, you should know what you want before getting married. If you want a man that does chores, a man that is supportive, a man that will give you equal right as his in the marriage then go for that, communicate with your partner before getting married. Let them know what you want in marriage, let them know what in a man before getting married. Please don't wait till you make it or travel abroad.

[@aishaahmed4553]

Life is stressful agreed. But we should not base on that to destroy your marriage even when people talk to you.

[@victoriaamoye]

When you marry anyone from abroad you take a risk. Your spouse is not an investment. Each person needs to work on themselves so they don't become unevenly yoked.

[@tollyidris1727]

I just saw your programme every body forgot God first other things follow?I have 3 points 1God 2 background 3 love thank you

[@bktundekole]

@@tollyidris1727 which God are you talking about if someone like pastor Chris oyakhilome or Chris oktie can be divorce ? Do you know God more than them?

[@chikarayleigh4534]

The woman left because she felt the man had a lower status. Pay attention.

[@daughterofzion6443]

@@bktundekole This is where most of us get it wrong. To the best of my knowledge, one's relationship with GOD is personal, no other man is a measure of ur relationship with God. May GOD help us.

[@tollyidris1727]

@@bktundekole they are human beings

[@theeagle736]

Why can't the man go for the Nursing instead of sending his wife. The man is the problem. This is just slavery repackaged. He used her as an investment tool. This is not a marriage of love. The lady refused to be used

[@SCottLARock19]

The panel is making makes sense , that women today are not playing that submissive role and men best not forget it.

[@kiv_daniels]

@@SCottLARock19Submissive doesn’t mean women should be your slave, because you took a woman to a school doesn’t mean she owes you her every check. She can pay you the amount you paid with interest but she doesn’t owe you her every check. You can also go to school

[@uggyndukwe4793]

Some of our men and women are really the role of human hood. I praise God for them. I am here working to care for my husband he has not worked on day since we came to US. He had stroke in Nigeria before we came here. My son had epilepsy before I brought him. Only me worked to care for these two people for years before after 7 yrs my son is better and now work to earn $400 every 2 weeks. My mothers words are always ringing bells 🔔 in my ear. Background and up bringing is very important

[@vivianparadise8730]

Wow madam, may God almighty bless and continue to strengthen you ijmn, 🙏. Please try to connect to NSPPD prayer on KZbin and God will perfect everything 🙏

[@vickieogb1262]

Your husband was/is sick, but not a narcissist I believe!

[@Isiejeme0829]

Blessings Ma'am, you will be rewarded for your good works.

[@lateefakinpelu9395]

This is very inspiring - shows that there are still men and women who will give everything and expect nothing in return. You're a rare one in this cold, calculating world.

[@femininedivin3]

@@vivianparadise8730 I agree NSPPD is where to be

[@TrueTalkeTV]

This is a multi-faceted issue that CANNOT be viewed, assessed or judged from one angle. As a Nigerian woman in the US, I can tell you that the problems lie with both sexes, and an outsider's view will be dependent on whose story they hear, either the wife or husband. Please let us remember that even back home, some women marry only because they want to have a party like the rest of their friends, and walk away when the music stops, it's the same here and likewise with men. I have seen men who practically enslave their wives under the belief that they sponsored their education; such men actually marry their wives with the mindset that she would become a cash cow...you will be surprised how many men prowl around nursing schools in Nigeria in a bid to find these girls; how can such a relationship ever work? A lot of good men and women have been forced to change and become wild and mean in order to survive their dragon spouses. Ultimately, let each person marry for love; and honor, respect & support their spouse. Do your best to maintain harmony in your home BUT where it's not working or you are unhappy or worse still, there is domestic violence, WALK!!!!

[@vivianparadise8730]

Gbam

[@nobs997]

Your use of the word "enslave" is an exaggeration to create a shock effect

[@ritchpoint]

From your write up it appears u have already gone against ur husband. This program was put up for people just like you.

[@TrueTalkeTV]

@@ritchpoint If my husband was an obvious ignoramus like you, I surely would have walked away. In the interest of anyone who may unfortunately cross your path or tangle with you in marriage, learn to read correctly and join a discourse intelligently. Oh, that tribal tilt, I get it!

[@aishaahmed4553]

You're right. I agree with your points. I meet lots of Nigerian men online wanting to send their wives to Canada to study nursing... most don't even think about the consequences

[@kennyoris4952]

I believe whatever you give woman she is ready to double it,if a man decided to give woman peace she will do everything to let that peace reign,that goes with the opposite

[@ilosworld3435]

Most of these men go home to marry women they can use as commercial wives. Once the women start working, the men leave all the responsibilities to them. The women work overtime to pay all the bills, care for the kids, and the family’s needs. Meanwhile, the men use all their money on women, traveling, and having fun. After a while, the women become tired and want out. Can you blame them?

[@daramolaolanrewaju5766]

The man didn't love he's wife

[@Kogitesolar]

Not just those that travelled abroad, it happened even here at home. Marry a woman from a village and take her to Lagos, Abuja or Lagos, give her education and a job, this scenario do occur if you are not lucky.

[@chinwed.9341]

Thank you for making that clear . No nation can change true love

[@bettylawal5117]

Why travelling to Nigeria? Singles everywhere Abroad pray for the best wife, stop going back home.

[@laraakiode5510]

Exactly stop going back home to pick up ladies to marry or go to marry a man too.Try and marry where you are living.

[@jeleelolaniyi2004]

Even the singles abroad also have the worst character ever. The problem is that the government gives priority to women before men so a whole lot of things are missing. In Europe, the child benefits have caused a whole lot of break up among spouses. It is only God who could perfect one's marriage irrespective of where you are.

[@diddikiti6328]

Will they hear? Tell them they won't hear.

[@tyy5557]

Best comment so far on this topic. I will never bring any woman abroad. You got to be crazy.

[@susanmajek]

@@jeleelolaniyi2004 No they don't. Different women have different behaviors & characters abroad, just like in Nigeria. The difference is that abroad they have the police and legal system to protect them which doesn't exist in Nigeria, and they don't have to pretend like the ones in Nigeria have been socialized to act like angels whose mouths can't melt butter all to snag a man just so they can be Mrs. and/or get money from men, but then they turn to lions once they feel secure in their marriage. Yes, God can perfect a marriage by both parties being kind to each other and treating each other like human beings and not have slave vs. owner relationship.

[@NaturesReal]

Every situation differs. A lot of Nigerian women work very hard and make sacrifices for their families here in USA. Talking about training a woman here in USA, Tope and Morayo, if you’re told a Nigerian man paid tuition for his wife here in America, would you believe? Please leave that thing. 99% of Nigerian women here take student loan to go to school, care for the children, and the husband. After getting a job that she works 12 hours standing as a nurse, the man will want to be in charge? Most Nigerian women in America respect their husbands. The men should grow up. They feel so insecure and every little misunderstanding, they say; "they brought you to US". Is it now the wife's fault that God made it possible for her to be in America? Even if she was in Nigeria, she may have been better off. So what's this that you ladies are making so much emphasis on sacrifice? The wife also made sacrifice. It takes two to make one! Give me a break Tope, where do you see Nigerian men making sacrifices? What sacrifices are you talking about? When you marry a wife, are you NOT supposed to take her to where you leave? If you didn’t want to spend money filing for her, you should have gotten married to a black American🙄. Nigerian men know that they cannot afford a black American wife, is that not why they go and married a Nigerian women? I'm really surprised at you women on this view.

[@ryandoorman7308]

First he can not even afford the school fees, let alone paying. Yes, they encourage their wives to become a Nursing Assistant or a Registered Nurse and then turn around to enslave them. You all ladies on the view, you don't know what's happening in US, so don't talk about men abroad making sacrifices.

[@comforteffiong7713]

Say it like it this✌️✌️

[@rosecyril]

These women are so ignorant and have no idea of what they are talking about.

[@abprecious9554]

God bless you Tonye. These women have no idea of what they are talking about.

[@glotechtvchannel6861]

I am speaking from USA, He hasn’t told you guys the true story.

[@ogunwatomisin2280]

Pls, tell us😏

[@elleagbonson5281]

Thank you. These ladies are talking condense.

[@def5233]

Thank you. He didn't say the truth

[@ballisnojoke4521]

Right

[@susanmajek]

Of course not. He will not say anything that will make him look bad, so he will keep telling that story to anyone who cares to listen to make the woman look bad, but the few people who know the truth know. I know many of such and it's usually the man thinking just cos he brought the woman from 9ja, he bought a slave or he is at a lower financial/social level than he led the woman to believe & reality set in once she arrived...

[@oraltraditions6127]

I went to the UK to visit my sister, and a Nigerian man was coming into a parking space, and he hit my sister's car. I know, he did not do it on purpose, so all we were saying, we hope the damage is not bad. So my sister got out of the car to see what happen, the man started shouting at my sister like she was wrong. Remember, we are parked and was eating in the car when he hit us, but he thought he was in Nigeria and dealing with a Nigerian woman Boy, I wanted to slap the crap out of him. I had to shut him down. He walked away so fast because he didnt want anybody to know he was wrong and tried to bully and intimidate us. I said, I wanted to stap him so hard. He was out of order. Fill of pride and arrogance.

[@oyed861]

There are a few issues here 1. Why didn't the man train himself while he was abroad all the while, why do they feel the need to train a woman... could he not train himself? Or more like he went to pick someone to train in school and take the money from her work, under the pretext of "i trained you" 2. The men refuse to adapt to their new environments, by joining forces with the wife to run the home. You want the woman to run the home like an African wife, but you don't want to take responsibilities like an African man. You share bills with the woman, you take the money from her work, yet you want her to do every household chore and attend to all your needs. And then claim being disrespected because she opposes that. 3. 3rdly why do they go home to find a wife. Relationships break up anywhere in the world, even within partners that have long standing Relationships, yet you jump up and go pick a woman within months and expect things to be smooth sailing. P.S. b4 you jump on this comment, I am married close to 20yrs, all of which we have both lived abroad, and have both attained further education. Marital success is a team effort.

[@drfire7338]

You are right, only those who are on ground here understand the real truth, that is not to say that they are no evil women here too.

[@abisola4326]

I sight you my sister, well said

[@almajack1080]

@ oyedoyin God bless your. You just hit the nail

[@to4163]

That term “get out of hand” I have problem with. The woman is not his child.

[@jeffreyrediel]

anything can get out of hand , be it from a man ,woman or a child

[@susanmajek]

Exactly...

[@ayodelealedare6507]

Yeah, he still brought her to America. Sponsored her. Na pikin she be

[@floBar51651]

@@ayodelealedare6507 it's this pride that brings people down. People that reason like you. Respect is mutual in marriage, everyone is making sacrifices. Calm your ego and pride.

[@opeade9779]

@@floBar51651 she should have brought her ticket and train herself , do you the amount of money the guy would have paid to train her as a nurse. It's no joke , she now knows the guy is not in her class.Loads of rubbish

[@maxineeubanks4934]

No woman run from a good man. Doesn't matter how educated the woman become.......the man need to check himself.

[@floBar51651]

Thank you! No woman runs from a good man.

[@obiageliazuka7096]

Honestly The love of money especially dollars has destroyed most Nigerian marriages in the U.S.. If you really love your spouse, no matter how much a woman earns more than her spouse, that shouldn’t make her look down on him or turn him into ‘clarus’. And 9ja men don’t think of turning your wives into cash cows by marrying a nurse because at d end, most of you will end up been disappointed.

[@sharifs649]

facts

[@ramseyabsessien8990]

I am a nurse and a nurse practitioner. There's not a lot of money in nursing...you get burned out. IT and financial services are where you get most money. Having said....i make decent money...but the burn out is what is driving me to want to switch to IT.

[@tyy5557]

@@ramseyabsessien8990 Well said. I'm an IT Professional and that's where the money is. Most of IT Professionals make more money than Medical doctors and other professionals. You will never regret switching to IT. Good luck.

[@susanmajek]

@@ramseyabsessien8990 Pls don't say that. It all depends on what part of IT and what level. If you are an hourly low to mid level IT help desk support etc then you are okay, but the higher you go to make the big bucks, it changes cos many of those jobs are salary. You may think it's a lot, but by the time you divide it by the number of hours u dedicate to do what you have to do, which is well over 40 hours, you will realize it's not much. My friend, a nurse always said she can't be a dr. cos she's hourly. Does her job & goes home, but the drs are salary. They practically live there working way over 40 hrs. My relative a dr. in psychiatry was given a director position. Moved from NYC to MD 4 it. They had him working 7 days a week. He was burned out. He quit, started his company and works with them as a contracted company instead of 4 them...

[@prettyme3150]

Thanks Obiageli for your comment. Most women develop a chip on their shoulder when they earn more than their husband. Much more when they realise women holds more power in marital crisis. On the other hand, I find that men who bring women overseas tends to treat the lady like she's been done a favour, and sometimes treat her like trash.

[@marytim1168]

Maybe she didn’t change but after schooling and mixing with others, she grew and the man couldn’t handle her growth.

[@mrmike1582]

Are you listening to your self... She grew so therefore the man that stuck with her throughout her growth should be discarded. What happened to values, love and reciprocated affection

[@chrisochugbo6286]

So if I have a girlfriend In african n I came here n grew so it's ok to forget about her. No thts not right. African woman over act out wen they start making money especially if d husband didn't go to school or isn't making a better living . There is nothing about culture she found someone better or she wants higher level men

[@FOH45]

@@mrmike1582 u see how they see it? betrayal is called out growing u

[@mrmike1582]

@@FOH45 my friend, alot of sick folks with twisted ideas unfortunately have a voice in this social media age. Very disheartening.

[@giovanielg5349]

Tope on point. Exactly what happened to my friend‘S husband married a girl home she knew nothing about until the woman came here. I too realised most women who change abroad, had the tendency even back home but either they were dependent on the man or was afraid of the society shaming them. Most poor woman are blinded by riches until when they have what they want then realised it was not love. Secondly it’s not only home training. Most parents did their best but societal pressures esp on mature girls to compete ( Instagram age) wants to copy the west negativity.

[@vivianakpiri4446]

Yes indeed Nyma, thank you! Women are opinionated and outspoken but our Nigerian culture does not permit women to think for themselves or express their thoughts or opinions. I love you ladies of Your View for many reasons but especially for giving a platform to encourage women to openly engage in conversations and shed light on issues that affects both men and women, and the Nigerian society at large. I am so encouraged by this show that I use you all as role models to my 24 and 29 year old daughters. They are witness to a 30 years marriage between me and their father were narcissistic behaviors made them vow not to engage a Nigerian man that is born in Nigeria. Their father is very personable and loving outside, but at home he is a different personality. The grace of God has sustained us for 30 years but the lessons learned has made my daughters view their Nigerian born brothers so differently from Nigerian men born in the U.S. They believe from what they have seen that Nigerian men are encouraged by the Nigerian society to oppress their wives, but American society encourages equal respect in relationship, and not woman serve man while the man treats the woman like a slave. Relationships should be based on mutual respect and commitment to one another. Marriage is richly rewarding when each partner invests all they have to build The relationship. Money should not define anyone's success or failure especially not in marriage. Respect must be given and reciprocated!!!

[@ZoeBredan]

I have a burning question o... do they forbid these men to study the nursing themselves ni? You don’t own people o... this nonsense investment this men are doing .

[@odionugbiyobo2316]

Please have this discussion again and invite people who have lived in the diaspora to come in.

[@nzamul1446]

Sweetheart worked with Asian it's worse. You are not in their communities to see what goes inside. So individual characteristics play a big role in the relationship.

[@jomoluda]

What makes you think it’s the woman that changed? Why not dig in to investigate if it is the man who failed to accept the challenges of a woman who may have been overwhelmed by the demands of her job. Most nurses suffered mental health during this Covid period and if a man is expecting same level of attention to chores or conjugal roles, then it is abit unreasonable on the side of the man.

[@dominicandrewz]

I am glad I watched this. Lots of wisdom in this segment. What I dread right now is how to settle down in the next few years as a physician in the U.S. Women always seem interested once I tell them my profession. How do I cut out gold diggers? I can’t imagine going back to Naija to marry a woman. In my opinion, the safer options are either to court and marry a woman from a well respected family friend of same social status based in Naija (maybe she studied abroad and is used to traveling outside the shores of Naija) or find a cultured educated immigrant Nigerian woman here (already established and still holds on to her Naija culture). Even some immigrant women who are of same social and professional status here will divorce you in a heart beat especially those in Texas (that’s a story for another day). I see many men make the mistake of taking a father figure with their wife from Naija; they bring a much younger girl, train her and expect her to be a baby machine without opinions and always submissive without reason, instead of setting an environment for her to grow and have some say in the marriage and willingly respect you as a partner/husband. Ultimately, the bottom line is compatibility and doing your homework on any woman living in Naija, but it’s tough to decipher even when you decide to do long distance courtship with her.

[@teomedical313]

Once they hear physician, they will fake love and inundate you with their mumu calls . I’m tired of that attitude. I once told a Nigerian lady that I’m a cab driver, she resented and walk away... however , after a few months, I wrote some articles bothering on health issues in a certain community in Illinois.. apparently she read it and gave me a call that she didn’t know I was a doctor... since then, she has been calling me to date. Keep inviting me to events but I keep declining those invites cos it built on fake affection. Fear some our women here

[@GodFearingPookie]

Take red pill

[@okonkwoifunanya9029]

It's a tough decision I wish you the best

[@gloriaogu4185]

When a man is asking too much, I mean men who demand for respect at all time! That's what you get.

[@oraltraditions6127]

Intimidation does not work for many of us. That's why I know I couldnt live in Nigeria because the way those men treat women, made me sick. And that bowing thing is not my cup of tea. I bow only to God Please!

[@Innsidelyfe]

Don't come to Nigeria 😁

[@eghonghonsquizandasmr3979]

💯

[@Avy999]

Many things happen in marriage, it's not necessarily because she travelled abroad you don't know what she has had to put up with

[@dipo2142]

It is very common when you bring women abroad. Everyone knows this country is matriachy so when a woman comes here and she sees this freedom, she takes advantage of it.

[@billyberry6580]

@@dipo2142 very true...

[@ONpopularTopics]

She couldn't divorce but waited to use him as a tool to step up. Its evil to use people as a stepping stone.

[@chinwed.9341]

Many Nigerians marry women or men they don't truly know. It's not the woman has changed, but he never knew the true woman he rushed to marry ...

[@guybouaka]

To my fellow Nigerian the word “Akata” is a derogatory word and our American brother and sisters don’t like us calling them that way. So please in these times where we are looking for unity among us please let make an effort to stop using the word

[@TheTruth-lt9cm]

True 👍

[@yetundefadayomi8439]

Exactly, I never knew the meaning until last year and I tell a lot of people who use it around me to stop using it. The truth is that a lot of people who use it don't even know the meaning, thanks for saying this.

[@candytv4589]

It happen to both side not just men only it also happen to lots of women who bring their husband to America as the man get his papers he walk away even if they have kids together some of them still walk away , so is verse versa. I live in the United States 🇺🇸 it’s not easy here marriage here is just the grace of God .

[@patriciaodiatu5646]

Nobody should ever marry out of pity because that alone in itself is a life time mental torture

[@teslarstewart4932]

That man who saying Asian woman are submissive it’s not true my neighbors are Korean the wife is a nurse and husband is a stay at home dad and they work with each other on everything even if the man own business they would included their wife unlike African man who don’t want wife to know his finances talk less of helping out with children Asian woman would be submissive because their husband support them in every way without bruising their egos.

[@dorcasoloke6774]

Correct answer! Thank you o. That's the truth, these Asian men help their wives over here alot, which most of our nigerian men in the US will never accept but all they see is the Asian wives's submissiveness, they don't see or talk about how those men cooperate with their wives.

[@ademolamary7225]

@@dorcasoloke6774 hmmmmm

[@watchmyvidsable]

You don't comment anyhow to a story you don't understand thoroughly. If you know what it takes to train someone abroad for 3yrs you will know you don't pay such person back with a rude attitude. The western system makes everyone independent which is why they are that way but back in Nigeria we help each other to survive and never pay back with western manner. You can't defend a scammer in anyway have you ask yourself why was there no issues before leaving Nigeria or during the course of her study before becoming a nurse.

[@ndubuisionwubalili6021]

He said Indian women, not Asia’s. Black women really do have issues with there men.

[@4real513]

All this depends on individual, i have a friend where i lives in Europe here,he is not all that educated but his wife a very beautiful n submissive woman is a professor in medcine , they're living happily with 3 children, u will never know from them the educational difference between them

[@abprecious9554]

Tope men don’t pay school fees for their wives in America. Women take school loans in America and after graduation they start to pay back school loans with heavy interest, provide for the family, pay mortgage and other bills. Some men forget to treat the hardworking women kindly forgetting they are women. You all please speak about Nigerian marriages not American marriages because you have no clue what you’re talking about.

[@mrmike1582]

Why do you choose to talk rubbish, try wisdom.

[@abprecious9554]

@@mrmike1582 Mr. Wisdom, men like you are the problem in marriages.

[@hopee.968]

The really are clueless about the topic being discussed.

[@rnaina-thurman7397]

Why do Nigerian men go to Nigeria marry a woman? There are plenty of Nigerian women in America..

[@temi.a8533]

@@testingoyay4648 That is not true! Taxi driver earn more than bankers. That's just a stereotype. What matters is both should be committed to each other. To answer RN-Aina. I think the reason why men go to Nigeria to find a wife is because they think the ladies over there are naive and they can behave more African than those ladies already in diaspora. Unknowingly to them, You can't live in America with Nigerian mentality where you will have to work just as the same way your husband does. And yet the husband man still want the same commitment as an African women. I tell people African men especially Nigerian men should learn how to support their wives like Indian and Chinese men in home making. It can be very exhausting when you have to do it all and then still do your 40hrs per week. Nigerian men need to understand that its not by providing money alone, it's about working together with your wife. Respect each other and enjoy life.

[@seuna.8438]

Most of our women over there too set very high standards in the early stage of their lives. They lower the standard when age is running out (33+) or after one child. That's the reason why a few men resolve to imported wives. Honestly, while making marriage decisions, one needs to watch and also pray. People change. 80% of divorce from those imported marriages is caused by men. Some of them think they've brought in cash cows and they can retire. If you notice, the wives of most of those broken imported marriages are Nurses. I have nothing against that field but is nursing the only field our women can fit into. Nursing and other Medical fields are lucrative but they easily burn people out. Imagine a woman being burned out at work and she's not also receiving any help on the home front from her husband. She will surely run mad someday. It's time our men throw that nursing mentality away. There are some fields that are less stressful and very lucrative.

[@drfire7338]

Have you heard from the wife, there's a case like that presently in California. The case I know it's the man's fault. He does not want a wife but a meal ticket. The wife has done everything to keep the marriage.

[@hisname2009]

I don’t believe that! What did the man do that you are blaming the man?

[@oraltraditions6127]

Show love to your wife and you get the best of them. Treat them bad, and they will endure for a while, but the moment they get a chance, they are gone. Funke Ojumu the pastor's wife, she realize that most nigerian men need to be retrained. They are not romantic either.

[@def5233]

It's a pity you guys don't know the truth. Did you ask the woman what happened... Is staying in abusive marriage our culture as an African lady...my 5 cent

[@adedoyinlawal9500]

African women are born strong and vocal, spirituality suppress most women. Most men abroad expect the women to cook and do all the chores as well as contribute towards upkeep. Both couples will go to work early in the morning and come back between 6-8pm and the man just goes in front of the TV, the wife will pick the kids up from after school or care and still be expected to cook. What is wrong with helping each other, if the man comes back first he should pick up the kids and set the ball rolling. Helping each other helps a lot. Most men CANNOT cope with an up and rising woman. A man that doesn’t know how to respect a woman for what she is, can never respect and appreciate his wife.

[@christeenfrancis9449]

It’s not only Nigerians it happens to people all over the worldPeople are together in their country loving relationship but when they get to America they became different people it happens a lot

[@abdulark2514]

Let’s not forget about possessive men; who, when they help a lady in a situation like this n married her, they feel they deserve to be worshipped n if they don’t get the worship they think they deserve ............ the lose their mind.

[@oludayogiwa1806]

I enjoyed your topic of discussion. But unfortunately your contributors to the programme have no idea of what happens outside Nigeria be it USA, UK or EU country. I think you may need to do a repeat and take callers from abroad alone so you hear the nitty gritty of the situation

[@Angela-hm3xt]

You’re right. Can’t stand that disrespectful one calling black Americans some kind of a disrespectful name . So clueless!

[@joyce_lyn]

Exactly

[@hopee.968]

I absolutely agree. I kept saying these ladies are clueless about this topic.😂😂

[@adeyemicollins9468]

Everything in marriage should go down to love and understanding. When there's no love and understanding, the marriage will collapse irrespective of what the man or woman is earning.

[@amblessed5734]

And mutual respect...

[@wurasoho8514]

It could be an issue of pay back time. When you get to that environment, probably the woman had to take a lot of trash from the man while being dependent on him. When she becomes financially independent, she most certainly would not tolerate the 2nd rate citizen tag.

[@oraltraditions6127]

I have seen people beating people in Nigeria mercilessly and nobody says anything. Care and respect in marriage is reciprocal. Your husband can cheat on you and you justcrun away and cry, please those days are over. Many of those men have bern robbed of their emotions, they dont know how to show love and how to ecpress themselves, or even epathize. There is a serious problem in the Nigerian culture and it is destroying marriages in the 21century. Many of those men are going to end up like TARZAN -having no wives. Trust me on that one. Many of them are here in that states and they live in 9ne state and the wives live in others states. That is bad. Something must change. Some traditions need to be obliterated, and abolished.

[@coachonikosi]

Well done ladies, my thought on this topic is that people have an upbringing problem, not necessarily a marriage problem.

[@susanmajek]

Exactly...

[@ativiejonathan3705]

The change will definitely comes out because their union was never based on true love. Most marriages of these days, love is almost absent .

[@methodmand9111]

YOU HAVE SENSE SIR

[@tobiogunribido7179]

Great discourse! You guys are doing great program here. At the 20:10 mark, I heard the word "Akata". I have learnt recently that this word is taken to be offensive by the people it is used to describe. I believe that was a mistake. Thanks

[@paulosa4067]

Iol

[@easylizzy1725]

We are not practising all that leftish or rightish politics here ... Too many sensitive people these days running on feelings and getting offended

[@LinLin-cb5xk]

There were a few Nigerian men who were charged for murdering their wives who all happen to be nurses...not a coincidence

[@bernicechukwumba5622]

Hmmmm! This is instructive!

[@jollyihekwoaba6137]

When a man tells you he got married to you in order for you to help him, help his family. You see yourself being used, manipulated and all that. Some husbands have hidden agenda . Ask him outright why he wants to marry you. Weigh the options. Do not let any man use you to benefit his own needs and wants. Some men like women who has connections to help them. You both plan to grow together. Then, jealousy sets in. 99% of women got married to stay married. Domestically, you ladies in Africa have nannies, cooks, stewards, gardeners, drivers. Overseas, married women have none of those luxuries. They do it alone plus their work load! She still remained quiet. You do not have a clue what these women overseas go through. Hence when they visit home, they hire helps to get the break they needed before they go back. It is very tough overseas to live without a help. Your mom would only stay 2 to 3 months and goes back because she had her business to take care of, her own family to run, other issues. Do not look at married women in Africa the same way you look at the ones overseas. It is never the same! They did not change, what they found themselves in made all the adjustments. A typical example! A registered nurse went to work, 8 hours a day, came home on a Friday, she drive 3 hours to a city to attend her husband’s mate’s daughter’s graduation. On getting there, so much cooking to be done! She joined in the cooking. No rest! Few minutes later, she complained of dizziness and headaches, took a seat at a corner, and died, living behind four children. What do you think that caused her death? She was exhausted! No pre- existing condition. Her corps was brought back to the city she lived in. She was buried. Her husband had no income. Luckily, her daughter just graduated with accountancy degree. Had to quickly get a job to take care of all in the family , at such a young age. If this lady got an excused absence that she could not make it to the event. They would see it as a slight, put it down on her family record.

[@topsy7743]

Am a victim of such in London and never again I pray to be such victim. Mine was worse .

[@lawijeawele9560]

The problem with this discussion is that no one know the specifics that lead to the divorce. There is no one plan fit all for w our women in the west.

[@Bmore201]

As an African American, I have heard Many of my friends from Africa talk about this.

[@jewelofnashville4042]

It's real bro.

[@estherodanga4238]

Wow!

[@Bmore201]

@@estherodanga4238 I hear brothers from Africa, especially Nigeria say don't marry a woman who is a nurse. But the reality is that Black woman have a different temperament, be they African American or African, they are becoming more vocal

[@estherodanga4238]

@@Bmore201 I am a Kenyan in Nigeria.I have watched some KZbin channels where Nigerian female nurses abroad complain of bring cashcows highly encouraged by their husbands after training them .

[@Bmore201]

@@estherodanga4238 I heard that too. I know of a story where one had African American female friends, she complained to them, when he got home all his belongings were at the front door. I have been looking at Kenya t.v shows and honestly, I was surprised at how confident Kenyan women were.

[@blessinglaye1108]

So many men hear in abroad are the curse of what yhe women do to them. For instance my husband tells it to my face that he brought me hear each time we have issues. Which is very wrong.

[@jogospel9335]

Really? Sorry for that.....while he is away, speak over his life with the word of God.

[@LinLin-cb5xk]

She earns more than him , his ego cant take it

[@godslove2944]

Because a man invested in you does not mean that he owns you.

[@kellyonaiwuerhabor5922]

Why put the blames on the women alone, decades ago men from the UK brought their wife's to work poor jobs and support their education but dump them to marry more educated ladies because according to them they weren't up to their standard

[@sunnykennedy9640]

My friend that not issue here listen to the issue at hand ,as a man u are the head of your home ,you are not a white u are black ,married is a term work they most be submissive and respect to the head of the house .

[@olatundeokedara7766]

I love the moderator’s ((Morayo, I think) concluding statements. But I’ll say something here. I leave in Canada. Canadian women regardless of their achievements don’t treat their men shabbily. Oyinbo people don’t marry on the basis of status but love and understanding. In Nigeria we marry on the basis of money and status and this follows our women abroad. An oyinbo woman can be a professor and the husband would be a taxi driver, it doesn’t change anything. But like I said I love Morayo’s concluding state. Where the woman wants to move on, let her own it, be upfront with the man, agree with him on the modalities for breaking up and do it without bitterness or cruelty.

[@sernettadewunmi8877]

The Indian men takes care of their women, they respect their women while most African men treat their women like foot mat in society. So I believe they were just waiting for a way of escape

[@houston10]

Exactly. And in Chinese culture, women have more power and the men are willingly submissive to their wives as well.

[@chinwed.9341]

Where do you get these ideas that Indian men take better care of their women or Chinese women have more power than their men..This is ABSOLUTELY not accurate information.. Please stop generalizing one group of people esp with unfounded statements about African men ...This is sooo NOT TRUE !!

[@fumeorji6692]

I think the best way to go about it is not to have any expectations. Expectations always comes with disappointment.

[@ogunwatomisin2280]

Exactly

[@safeinhisarms337]

Very, very correct.

[@obn1459]

Can one really live without expectations?

[@fumeorji6692]

@@obn1459 well, in my opinion I think yes. When it comes to marriage a man is expected to love and sacrifice.

[@sallydoz9184]

What if the man does not want to further his education? Does that make him les aman? If you have a man that can stoop to support you please be grateful because it is also a different ballgame if the man focuses on his "growth".

[@hannahannayoureact2068]

THERES A DIFFERANCE BETWEEN DOMINANCY AND BEING SUBMISSIVE. SHE FELT SHACKELED. THE ONLY WAY TO TRULY NO IS TO ASK HER.

[@regeneratedmind3799]

Based on experiences, no comment until I hear the woman’s side of the story....

[@johnakpalu2118]

One scenario: Man marries from Nigeria, brings her abroad, pays all the bills, pays for her schooling, she becomes a nurse (etc) making good money, still wants the man to pay all the bills while she spends her money on herself and sends the rest to her parents and siblings back home to acquire properties for her (in her sole name). Starts giving the man hell when he complains because the courts and the police will take her side - as is often the case in the West - even to the extent of the police ordering the man to leave the house, which he may have bought before the wife even arrived. Many men feel taken advantage of and in the US, this has resulted in many murders especially in Texas and other states where guns are readily available. Sometimes the women bring their mothers and two gang up on the husband. This is a serious issue which has generated lots of discussions on social media. In Toronto, there are African women brought there by their husbands who have gotten rid of those husbands and who deliberately befriend new arrivals and try to influence them to join their club!

[@ifehansson2254]

That is why before these men bring wives from Nigeria they need to be clear what obligations her family expect from her. It is not realistic to bring a woman over to the West and not think her family is not pressuring her to do something for them. You need to have the conversation before bringing her abroad about matters like this.

[@victoriaogunsanya9074]

Is it not better to divorce than to murder???

[@caldwelljohnson3270]

I wanted to cut the video off but I realised that the topic is sweet like honey. I love u guy

[@olawaleilori939]

Another reason for this issue is in this question: why does an average Nigerian want to attain a certain achievement, the answer is always because they want to be an oppressor.

[@prettyme3150]

Wow! What an insightful perspective. We are a masculine society. Mind you masculinity according to Hofstede does not refer to make dominance. It mainly reflects a drive for achievement. This is reflected in both sexes in the Nigerian society. We are highly hedonistic and lack contentment.

[@laraxtivi994]

I live in America and married. We are both Nigerians. Women may be submissive in Africa where men play the roles of the heads of their families. It's difficult where responsibilities are shared 50-50, equality sets in. Some men maltreat their women. Women are not comfortable being the bread winner of the family. A man training his wife must also train himself to be at the same level.

[@itstobysmith8639]

These ladies are on point. kudos to them.

[@judeiloghalu4337]

No divorce. If she wants wants to go her separate ways she can. The man can marry another woman. It doesn't have to be registered in court.

[@aimeeadelana7154]

It is not fair for a woman to look like a queen before marriage and end up looking like a rag because of stress after marriage and still u r told u r not enough vice verse for Men too!

[@hamiltongamra7720]

This type of issue happens to women as well. I know of a woman who went to Nigeria to marry a man introduced to her by a pastor of Church when the man finally settled he started behaving so badly to his wife.

[@chiorazu8047]

Nobody changes...money amplifies character, it doesn't change character....

[@princeade6172]

Any sensible man should not take his wife abroad, you'll regret it because such a woman will definitely change. There are lots of bitter experiences from men. Leave your woman wherever they live and go and visit them during your vacation.

[@CA-tq7kl]

U leave them in Nigeria, another man will be greasing her for u in Nigeria. Pray she doesn't bring another man's child for u to raise o.

[@martinsetadafe7579]

What if you have done everything humanly possible for the man to grow and he refuses to yield?

[@temiloluwa1135]

Thank God the man is asking for divorce and not results to killing her as this kind of case is so familiar especially in the US.

[@jossieo8530]

You are lucky if they give you space to grow. Only one woman out of hundred can survive their abuse.it is good to see at least one woman standing up to their abusive behaviour.

[@rosemaryosamor7207]

I live in America & I call say the problems here is most men want both ways of African and Western marriage. U want a woman to contribute 50/50 even more after u trained her while u used part of her hard earn money to do charity and carry woman. She will do Africa woman care for d kids, home, work and when both of u come back frm work u want to her served while u still tongue lashing her. If u want her not to change do part of the work without pride. By d way why didn’t he go to sch himself does his brain has allergy. All the women I no here went back to sch while the 99% of men wants to do lazy job.

[@emmanuelboy9539]

The problem is that I don't know why our men after getting to USA. Going back home to marry? We have a lot of black women in America, We have a lot of good black women in South America also. Who will give you what you want unconditionally,

[@folakemipraise5408]

Nobody changes, the men's expectations were not met because he came home to pick "a low level" woman to train and control after destroying the lives of many women whom they termed sophisticated when it was time to marry.

[@ndubuisionwubalili6021]

What proof do u have? U are very bad in your thoughts

[@folakemipraise5408]

@@ndubuisionwubalili6021 am not bad in my thoughts. I have lived in the US, give and take and I see the trend with men, and not only in the US, most men always want to go back and pick a wife from the village after having series of girl friends in the city whose lives they would have destroyed.

[@ndubuisionwubalili6021]

@@folakemipraise5408 how can a man destroy a ladies life ? Being in a relationship and not be forced, how is that destroy? Where the ladies killed? It takes two to tango , if your son meets a girl and he does not like the girl again how is that destructions? There are ladies who leave and use men too, I hope you know. There are bad ladies and bad men, so let’s not be hypocritical about this.

[@folakemipraise5408]

@@ndubuisionwubalili6021 yes, it takes 2 to tango, but the maltreatment, separation etc is common with men. Statistics show that women are more trusting in relationships and that's why they are the ones who are more affected.

[@ndubuisionwubalili6021]

@@folakemipraise5408 yes it’s with men, if there is misbehavior and lack of respect. A man will not leave his wife for no reason, I have seen women misbehave repeatedly , lack of respect or love. The same with women who leave there homes , like I said it takes two to tango. Maybe the best thing is let everyone stay single and leave their life’s , we must not all marry inorder not to destroy homes , because our parents did that, these generation are self centered and families are currently threatened. Anyway nice discussion.cheers

[@sweetexbeauty]

She didn’t change,she only grew up. Be willing to accept growth,she can’t continue serving you like a village girl forever. Mutual respect in marriage is important.

[@godslove2944]

All the women on this show must stop this nonsense. Why is it when a man does something wrong these women do not talk about home training? Only when a woman does something wrong then they remember home training. This insult on women must stop.

[@nevilleagbonwaneten5749]

I do not see any big deal in a man helping out in his own home. One thing I cannot stand disrespect and lack of appreciation for your contributions to the home. Whatever a man does in him home, he does for himself as well. Especially when kids are involved, just have the mindset that you’re doing it for your children. God sees your efforts and bless you accordingly.

[@ademolagbajumo9890]

This discussion is really worth it. Good speakers.

[@ogechiduru9926]

This is a disturbing discussion. Indians and chinese not forgetting their culture is not accurate. They have the same issues. It’s the value of marriage and understanding how to support and honor the commitment of marriage. There are men who come to Nigeria to get married and expect her to go to nursing school, so she can give him a better life vs also working to improve himself as well.

[@susanmajek]

Please don't mind these people who have no direct interaction with other races and dream up things about them. They have the same assimilation issues and problems we do. And yes, they divorce too. But for our people other races are perfect...

[@victoriaogunsanya9074]

Very true. If nursing is so easy why don’t these men become nurses?

[@adenikeakintokun1408]

This issues is common among Nigeria men that sees thier wives as a meal ticket.

[@anthonynnaife4544]

Really? Where are you based if I may ask?

[@adenikeakintokun1408]

Nigeria.

[@josephomole6404]

...Also among women that see men as ladders. I feel like there is more to this case than what we see here

[@adenikeakintokun1408]

@@josephomole6404 Thank you for your response. I agreed with you both sex can use each other. My grandmother has a saying whether you are male or female equip yourself to avoid being a burden on your spouse. If the man in question has developed himself before bringing his wife, he will not be bothered. African men in diaspora should see thier wives as a supporter not breadwinners.

[@josephomole6404]

@@adenikeakintokun1408 very true. There's just more to this story than we know. For all we know, the lady may have been pushing her husband to go to school, but he may have refused and she's now frustrated. There's a chance he's been emotionally abusive, and she'd just been enduring it. Of course, it could also be that the woman is just a devil. One thing is clear, he needs to build himself.

[@goncanouenochbisd56]

Simply because you pay someone's bride price , married them and educate them that doesn't means you own them and their life. ( We should encourage communication and adjustments on both sides. ) we always preach our African culture with little knowledge of the "sole implications and principles".

[@mavismeredith]

They haven't changed. They are enlightened and realized that in the US they have rights.

[@4-real950]

I have no idea, why someone will leave America, and go to Nigeria to get a wife, as if Nigeria women don finish for America!

[@jthacker3585]

She did not change that’s the person’s life. she already has someone in USA but she only married the said husband for the purpose of bringing her to her boyfriend in USA. It is very common for men and women. They forgot that there’s something called “Karma “ and when it descends on them, they become miserable for life.

[@twinklessandra5420]

We are expecting too much from our culture. A relationship should be set on the foundation of Jesus Christ. Date, court, then marriage.

[@marychuks5889]

African women are the most oppressed in the whole world so please allow the flex when they get the opportunity abeg

[@joannakolawole2378]

Is it inherent in the Nigerian culture to ask for divorce? He too has changed.

[@DarlingtonIyke]

Apparently the best he can do is divorce the woman...he may not want to continue to put up with the attitude for the sake of his mental health

[@ngozichima9971]

How do you expect some1 to remain the same, people grow either positively or otherwise

[@gbengaakinnola677]

"......we must pull each other up" , "....you are blessed for your team...... Thanks for these words Tope.

[@maryallen2317]

They come to America 🇺🇸 realize they don't have to be under their husband's rule and feet here. Good for them if the man is controlling and abusive.

[@lordbyron4242]

Your feminist culture has not held any marriages together leave Africans alone with our culture your marriages in the west have failed 1 in 2 marriages end in divorce lol so I see you encouraging the breaking up Of the African family because your western families have failed .