A Lesson in Dialogue from Squid Game

[@TylerMowery]

Get Practical Tools to Write Your Great Screenplay: www.practicalscreenwriting.com

[@isaacphoenix9200]

Question: During the 20 minute example you give, "Sure, Drop them a hint," and "Show mercy to the miserable." are said by two different characters. The third line is unnecessary for sure, but I would have kept in the first two as it does show the difference between the dramatic and less dramatic characters. Would those first two be ok? I know these aren't characters we have to know.

[@punkv6739]

I heard that the reason the dialogue here was so stiff is because the actors were only given their lines and not the translated lines of the whole script that was in Korean. So when they acted they only had their lines to go off of without any prior context. But if you watch a lot of kdramas you’ll see that most of their foreign actors’ dialogue is stiff and a bit like a textbook.

[@lylyle2029]

agreed

[@redblock1382]

this would make so much sense

[@artifexrex1578]

The editing was also done by non English speaking editors and they chose takes with mistakes. I live in Korea and know two of the VIPs who are both writers and act in theater here. They thought it was a cartoonish kdrama when they were on set and pushed against the lines and direction they were given. The industry here is pretty gross to be honest, which is why I don’t go out of my way to participate in it

[@slimicee8396]

I thought it was a lot more than a "bit stilted," but glad to see more people talking about how odd their scenes were.

[@YourBlackLocal]

I never liked the defence of “they’re rich people that’s why”. At points they are just validly explaining the plot.

[@lachdownproductionsyt]

That's a good approach. All too often do I tackle sluggish scenes with dialogue first, scene motivation is a solid start too!

[@joelbergfx]

I just thought it was written by a foreign writer who doesn't speak English well. And so it's extremely basic dialogue, I bet you if it was Korean high rollers it would be completely different, and probably awesome.

[@WanderingWeirdly]

Their scenes were the weakest part of the whole show. Those scenes felt quite camp compared to the rest of the show. A part of me sometimes wonders if we're more forgiving of dialogue in a foreign language because we're more focused on reading the subtitle than judging the acting/voice-acting.

[@wastedtalent666]

Agreed a very flat ending to an otherwise well written show

[@Scriptfella]

Thanks for the shoutout, Tyler. That's one banger of a tutorial. D

[@matheus10b]

Please talk about Everything Everywhere All at Once

[@propositionjoe1515]

Incredible movie, wow. One of the best I have seen in a few years.

[@Vivivofi]

@@propositionjoe1515 I feel like I’m in the 0.00001% of this. And it might be due to the fact I had high expectations coming into it. But it did nothing for me. Great visuals, great concepts even? Maybe? But none of it… worked for me. I’m not even sure how to explain that. I hate to be that person, but it just felt like mainstream shite. I don’t know?? I don’t know why, I really wanted to like it. I don’t get why everybody else does….

[@jankyyard5610]

@@Vivivofi Trying or forcing to like something only do the opposite effect.

[@Vivivofi]

@@jankyyard5610 I wouldn’t say only but maybe you’re onto something. Maybe if have a different opinion if I went in without expectations

[@violetlavi2207]

@@Vivivofiit was far from mainstream 😂 you don’t have to like it ofc, that’s a valid opinion, but calling it mainstream in any way isn’t true. It’s very deliberately *not* that (and far different from mainstream movies in terms of style and the way certain plot beats play out)

[@AliceisonLSD]

very useful video and I liked the touch with the typography and animation choice

[@filmstonereviews4018]

Hey can you do a video on narration, I’ve never seen a good video that went into detail on how it should be used.

[@theorderofthebees7308]

Your 3 line example that used about cutting out the rest n keeping the best - I wonder if this scene is more concise in the Korean translation

[@pierremichelestival]

I think it is in SCREAM that Sidney Prescott answers the phone, and the killer says: "Hello Sidney," and she answers "what do you want?" I then realized that the screenwriter removed everything that didn't serve the scene. For some reason, what works in real life doesn't work in movies and vice-versa. I think we have seen enough movies in our lifetime to know how to cut or reduce a scene. We might not want to do it -- but we know ;)

[@misterolot]

Luv the fixes! Cheers for the tips mate.

[@Vinsaino]

Love the video. Learnt a lot. I would really really really love to see you do a story/character analysis on the Netflix show ARCANE🙏🙏🙏

[@thegreata3565]

That was really good

[@thetasteoflimes]

I always wonder about directing a foreign language. When I initially saw this I boiled it down to the director probably not having complete fluency of English and so he is less likely to know when it sounds off. For example I speak Portuguese relatively well, but I’m not fluent. I can’t always tell when someone’s accent is off or not. I also wonder how someone like Tarantino who is so meticulous when it comes to his dialogue directed inglourious basterds. A film that is spoken in multiple language he has no fluency over.

[@TomEyeTheSFMguy]

If you've read the script, he writes that they speak the language, but it's subtitled in English.

[@stephenseignet3392]

The French in inglorious bastards sounds really off. I always could not figure out why it sounded weird, especially since the actress doing those scenes is French. But I figured it’s because it’s not written by a French person, so the way things are said isn’t really accurate to the way we’re used to use those words

[@TomEyeTheSFMguy]

@@stephenseignet3392 yeah, the dialogue is written in English.

[@XmenPlayTheXbox]

I thought that in a way the tension-less aspects of this scene were genius in that, we start to feel the painful boredom that elites feel which was the point of the story as said by the character on the bed towards the end of the show. Do you think maybe these scenes were left to be that way? I feel like in a show with so much intention in the writing, it’s hard to believe that these scenes lacked that kind of tension without a purpose. Like if for example the character were looking for a key in those scenes, we’d be focused on the objective and less on the experience of those rich people. Even the set design is very intense, almost immersive like we’re meant to pay as much attention to the elite’s experience of having every possible adornment, yet still remaining painfully bored. And I think we’re meant to view the experience, and be just as in awe as the character might be watching it.

[@michaelpontiveros5342]

I feel that this criticism is a bit unfair. This was a Korean production and the dialogue they wrote may have gotten lost in translation to English. Beyond language, it is culture they must also translate, and it was awkwardly handled. But consider the other side. When an American character speaks another language (usually an Asian one as these sound more "exotic") to prove that they are intelligent, how does the dialogue we write sound to people of that culture? Accented Cinema has a great video talking about this called, "When Hollywood Speaks Chinese, I Cringe"

[@TomEyeTheSFMguy]

I feel like you should analyze the dialogue to the big Lebowski.

[@Gazothegreat79]

Just cut a few lines out of one of my scenes. Flo was much better 💪

[@pinakichakraborty8759]

❤❤❤❤

[@ParthibanSattanathan]

Please add subtitles

[@internetdinosaur8810]

I just figured it was stilted because some of the lines didn't translate well from Korean to English

[@alexandredesouza3692]

I heard that the stilted dialogue was intentional. To give the feeling that these were aliens so removed from society, they don't even speak normally. Especially since, in the show, the U.S. is presented as an unseen land of prosperity to where people go when they become rich. And people speak English whenever they want to seem cultured, despite the fact that the English speakers in the show are far from cultured.

[@SCP.343]

Yeah, they went for too much realism and should've been more theatrical. It's tough to balance those extremes in a way that satisfies everyone. But I like the way they did it.

[@alexandredesouza3692]

@@SCP.343 I thought they did the exact opposite, but okay.

[@AlexAndriy1995]

it still is bad, intentionally or not

[@valentinlongarela2983]

Google Translate?

[@EddieLancelot]

"It's not that the specific dialogue lines are the problem..." I have to disagree. That is some of the stupidest dialogue ever.

[@M.guevara]

Why is there no translation?

[@thewhitewolf58]

Nice way of putting it since a scene should be either conflict or world, character building. Shouldnt exist for the sake of it.

[@庫倫亞利克]

The English dialogue of the rich people are arguably the worst part of the show. It's like they made an alien who has basic knowledge of how humans speak write the dialogue.

[@M.guevara]

Please upload the video again with subtitles

[@bobharris5093]

Oh god that scene dialogue was so cringe

[@AlexAndriy1995]

No it's was awful part of this show. The lesson is not to repeat

[@moderatecanuck]

That scene was the worst out of an otherwise perfect show