Our Kids Have Greater Freedom in Germany? | Unraveling German and American Parenting Approaches

[@CassieLopez]

American living in Germany here: I remember the day when my daughter was only about six or so, and my neighbor called me to say she had just seen my daughter walking away from our house with a woman she didn't know. The woman was a friend of mine, and my daughter was taking her down the block to her favorite play park, but my neighbor didn't know that and just needed to make sure everything was okay. This made me feel so cared for by the neighbor.

[@jennyh4025]

That’s how it usually is in Germany (and probably other countries as well).

[@sinisatrlin840]

I live in southern Croatia, and my children play outside any time of day, we are not afraid to let them out in late evnings since they are in early teens. People around as are here to help, and only thing that we are little afraid are traffic accidents and road crossings. Besides Croatia i feel like home in D, CH, SI, CZ, SK, A and PL. Here when child is in danger or missing, authority and people will turn everything upside down to make things right.

[@TypeAshton]

Ah that is a really awesome story. Neighbors like this are invaluable. ❤❤

[@sinisatrlin840]

@@TypeAshton English have saying" Every window, one set of eyes", and when i was young that was thrue, now everything is accelerated and life has intensified but it is still good. Seven years back we moved in new building and our youngest child went home from school earlyer than usual (teacher was sick), he has forget to bring his key and after waiting in front of door he started to cry (like any six year old), and old lady living close to us took him to her home and gave him milk and cookies, than called me on my work to tell me that he is fine.

[@grewdpastor]

@@justbeingkar That's such a fallacy: predators are more likely to strike at children who haven't learned to manage themselves.

[@uweseemann8571]

Das letzte Kapitel erinnert mich an einen Aphorismus, der Karl Valentin zugeschrieben wird: „Es hat keinen Sinn, Kinder zu erziehen, sie machen sowieso alles nach.“ Für mich heißt das, gute Vorbilder sind wichtiger, als lückenlose Kontrolle.

[@walkir2662]

Das erinnert mich an die riesigen Banner, die sie mal an meiner alten Grundschule über die Straße gespannt hatten - "Vorsicht Kinder, hier rasen eure Eltern".

[@susannehartl3067]

Den Spruch kannte ich noch gar nicht. Danke Uwe!

[@alfs3]

Sehr gut!

[@staunekindchen]

Hier hängen immer nur die neutralen Banner von wegen "Schule hat gestartet", aber diese passiv-agressive Kommunikation gefällt mir 😂😂

[@jurgensommer430]

und seid ich selbst Kinder hab ist mir klar geworden: Karl hatte absolut recht!

[@dentoon55]

I Live in the Netherlands, my son of 8 felt with his bike, a car stopped to help him because his knee was bleeding and did bring him home with the bike in the car, then you knew the communitie is taking care of the kids

[@UlliStein]

The dutch people take more care about people on bicycles. Nobody needs a helmet there because no accidents happen. A few weeks ago there was a documentary in German TV about travelling in the Netherlands and a dutch woman said: "Whenever I see somebody on a bicycle with a helmet, I know it must be a German".

[@bonito34]

That is the way it should be❤. Regds from Germany

[@flitsertheo]

@@UlliStein It's so very German to wear a helmet.

[@chgr4674]

That’s great. I however would have not gotten into the car 😂 my parents drilled into me to never get into a car with anybody when my parents hadn’t told me about it before. Even in heavy rain when neighbors stopped to ask if the should take me to school as well like their own kids, I said no. At age 14 was probably the first time I ever decided by myself to let a friends mum drive me home. But when I was young that was all soon after the kidnapping of Natascha Kampusch in Austria and I actually once had this stereotypical situation as a 10 year old where a creepy van stopped next to me and the driver asked if I wanted to come home with him to see his baby rabbits. My babysitters house was just 200m away so I ran there…

[@3DJapan]

I can't imagine that not happening in America.

[@julianmahler2388]

One of the first and most essential lessons you will learn at a German driving school is that in any situation a kid may pop up out of nowhere. Like a real-life whack-a-mole game (however, your target is *not* to hit one of them). You're literally on alert as soon as you drive through any residential area.

[@BenjaminVestergaard]

Same in DK. When you drive along a road with cars parked on the sides... you closely observe every little hiding spot along the road where a kid may come from.

[@TheRockkickass]

Same in the usa. Like wtf

[@OneInAMillion31]

​@@TheRockkickassyeah but most people are either drunk, high or overworked or just don't care or like kids in america....so they wind up getting hit often

[@manuel0578]

@@TheRockkickassnot really. I don’t see anyone ever walking in the US outside of downtown areas. The chances of you hitting a pedestrian in a residential area in the US are super low because no one is ever outside walking. 😂😂😂

[@chrystpick7741]

My dad always said if a ball comes on to the road you stop, chances are the kid will follow it. That puts me on alert not just for the kids that may run out, but also for the triggers for them to run out. Tho there's no accounting those that do it for no real reason...

[@angaudlinn]

As a swede I can recognise every part of the german way. I walked or bicycled to school from age seven and so has my kids. Spending a summer in California as a 16 year old I saw how everyone used the car everywhere. Going to the mall one mile away -> car. That's mental!

[@kennethabbott3856]

"Going to the mall one mile away -> car." That's what happens when a people let their government be aggressively influenced by corporations.

[@psyckwhoever4197]

@@kennethabbott3856 "a government that's agressively influenced by corporations" sounds like you're talking about germany as well 😅... I'm not sure, but I guess it's still worse in the states.

[@kennethabbott3856]

@@psyckwhoever4197 I was speaking specifically about the u s. Our country has been so strongly influenced by the auto industry and the oil industry that zoning laws do not allow for livable, walkable neighborhoods.

[@th5841]

@@kennethabbott3856But your country has the biggest and best democracy, so that shouldn’t be a problem. Like in Amsterdam where the «Stop The Children Murder!» in the 70s led to a big change. Or is this just an excuse? In reality you have nothing against this Status Quo of Big Corp being the real centre of power?

[@kennethabbott3856]

@TH I personally have a lot against Big Corp being the centre of power. Unfortunately, there are too many people making too much money keeping things broke the way they are for anything to ever change..

[@StJohann1732]

My daughter was 12 or 13 when her latin teacher - like he did every year - took the whole class of a little over 20 kids on a bus trip to Regensburg because of the vast Roman history there. The kids got tasks to complete at different places all over the city that would take them several hours. He split the class up in small groups and sent them off. Of course the kids had phones with them, so they could contact the teacher when needed, but none did. They were on an adventure. That teacher is one of the most liked as well as most demanding teacher in that school. My daughter still says it is those type of teachers that motivated her to learn. We now live in Maryland and I read in the paper not too long ago that a teacher had to resign because because one parent complained that she showed her students a picture of Michelangelo's David. That may be an extreme. But the trend is there. Parents are getting too involved in what and how teachers teach. The result is that motivated teachers quit and education suffers. To make a long story short: it is this freedom born out of mutual trust that makes kids successful.

[@hajotge12]

Could not agree more to "... it is this freedom born out of mutual trust that makes kids successful." To the picture of David from Michelanelo: I first thought this would be a hoax but then remebered hypocrisy ... but who am I to judge?! I just think that the US american fear of nipples and genitals is as hilarious as the fear of women not masked as a cone. If you like it, go for it. With all the consequences. (Sorry, got a bit sour here)

[@lethfuil]

The last sentence is do beautiful and well put! To the first story, we did that too, back when I was in school. But we didn't even have phones with us back then. xD

[@NoName-tr3vs]

I agee with the general sentiment, however there's also the flipside of the coin: lots of teachers in the US can be assumed to be far-left or outright leftextremist nowadays, which creates the need of concerned parents to stop these teachers pushing their own agenda on millions of children.

[@falklumo]

@@NoName-tr3vs What US calls leftextremist would normally be called an average person in the rest of the world though ...

[@apveening]

@@NoName-tr3vs Most of those "far-left" teachers would be considered pretty far-right here in Europe. I am a lot more worried about the fascist agenda in the USA.

[@ericb9881]

It has recently occurred to me that an overarching characteristic of Americans is fear and distrust of others. Studies show gun ownership is driven by a feeling of threat and that "only I can protect myself and my family". In more subtle ways I think this shows up in our insistence on owning huge cars, gated neighborhoods, and the way we raise our children. Though general danger is greater here than in Germany, my sense is that perception of a threat is overinflated, but making our way of life worse for all of us.

[@galdavonalgerri2101]

If someone in Germany seriously claimed that teachers in schools must be armed and that carrying firearms in schools is a good idea, that person would probably be classified as mentally ill. I was horrified to learn that in the USA small children sometimes take their parents' firearms to school with them. It should even have happened that elementary school students have shot a person That's unimaginable for me!

[@k.schmidt2740]

I think that goes even deeper: U.S. society actively produces outsiders nobody cares about or for, who then become the "predators" everyone fears. The feeling of threat is real, because the society produces the threat.

[@miskatonic6210]

How is "general danger greater in germany"? Everything is frickin safe compared to 95% of the rest of the world. It's insane how germans don't realize that privilege.

[@23GreyFox]

And that by US law the cops aren't in any duty to protect the people, only the law, doesn't make it any better.

[@joegreene7619]

The weird part of this, to me, is basically everything that Germany does now is what my childhood was like in the US. I'm in my late 40s, and other than dedicated bike lanes this is how I grew up. I biked everywhere until I was old enough to drive, our playgrounds were pretty extreme, the community looked out for each other (parents could easily rely on other adults to help out), and during the summer my only rule was to be home before the streetlights came on. This was all in a medium sized city just southwest of Washington, DC. The fear/distrust stuff largely started in the early 80s as John Walsh and others sensationalized the tiny percentage of kidnappings of kids to the point where people thought it was commonplace and over corrected for it.

[@peterkoller3761]

Children on a playground: as long as the dirt is on the outside and the blood inside - no problem.

[@wolfgangpreier9160]

And no crying and fighting please!

[@docsnider8926]

And don’t complain. Settle it with your friends.

[@Lukeddd]

@@wolfgangpreier9160 unrealistisch. Außerdem müssen Kinder lernen mit anderen zurecht zu kommen und sich von der physischen auf die soziale Ebene kommen. Was nicht geht ist, wenn ein Stärkerer oder „mächtigere“ bully andere mobbt. Da muss gesteuert werden.

[@user-np6dm6tf1o]

​@@Lukeddd Aber nur dann.

[@wolfgangpreier9160]

@@Lukeddd Davon red ich. Solange sich die Kleinen das untereinander ausmachen - wie auch immer - ohne Gewalt, Bullying und Tränen - das können Krokodilstränen, Herzschmerztränen, Trotztränen oder echte Schmerzenstränen sein - ist manchmal schwireig zu unterscheiden, ist alles ok.

[@doodleblockwell2610]

The change is incredible. My dad walked me to my first day of kindergarten in September of 1965. Then 3 hours later he walked me home. Then he asked, "are you good to go on your own now?" That was it. I was good to go.

[@NardoVogt]

Spent a year in Highschool in the US. 3rd day there, the school bus didn't come or was late- or we missed it. I started to walk. It was less than a kilometre down the road. Myvhost dad came after me with the car and was mad as hell. First culture shock.

[@embreis2257]

and your school was just 1km down the road? or did you just make 1km by foot before he picked you up? 🙂

[@NardoVogt]

@@embreis2257 the schoolnws less than a km down the road.

[@Bruintjebeer6]

​@@embreis2257it is extremely dangerous to walk down or cross the road in most places in the US outside the big cities. You find schools and shops along roads we call speed ways or free ways The whole US is designed around cars. I understand the man got mad. Probably he already show a picture in his head that he had to inform her parents that she was in a bad accident. In other ways it is also not very safe for woman and children to walk alone along the road. The crime rate is high in the US and in most states it is allowed to cary a gun outside the home.

[@embreis2257]

@@Bruintjebeer6 you just reinforced the case for me never to give my children permission to go and spent a year at an American high school or entertain the idea of studying at a US university. the US is not nearly safe enough. Canada should be fine or better still Ireland and maybe the UK but certainly not the US.

[@Bruintjebeer6]

@@embreis2257 Maybe that is a wise decision. In the US i never go anywhere without a someone who lives there and i always look over my shoulder. Special in big crowds. The first thing a learned was to keep my car doors always locked and keep a distance from the car in front of at a stoplight so you can get away in case something happens. I know the father who's son studied in New York 5 years ago and it seams it is a little bit better there But with all the school and other shootings i would not recommend anyone to let his kid go to the US for a certain time on his\her own. Most mass shootings don't even get in the news anymore because there are just too much. The US ranks 10 on the list of most mass murders and deaths in the world I was in the the US when the Columbine shooting happened and the whole country was in shock. Now it is happening so many times that a lot of people don't even pay attention anymore. I have seen it going worse and worse over the last 25 years. Since Trump took office the US is going down the drain fast. I don't even want to go anymore.

[@cloudyskies5497]

This is such a huge issue that people don't talk about enough. I was raised isolated in a suburban home, reliant on the Mommy Taxi. When I became an adult and started having panic attacks, in shame I blamed myself. Now having gone through lots of therapy I have a better perspective. I think, no wonder there are so many anxious young adults out there. Imagine being raised in a padded room and then flung into the adult world with serious financial consequences, you know?

[@ryandylan6946]

Mommy taxi and therapy sounds like usa, i am right? Here in Germany and Swiss the biggest danger for kids is hit by a car while crossing the street. This danger is downplayed by all media, all other dangers are exxaggerated. One example for US propaganda? The high danger of unregulated speed on german Autobahn. US Highways have 5 times more death per 1 million miles than german Autobahn without speed limit. No joke, Autobahn are the safest streets in germany, 1 death per 540 million km. From 3000 death 2022 only 300 where on Autobahn, 1500 on country roads and 1200 in citys. numbers are rounded up, there were only 2800 death in 2022. USA 2019 was 36120 death from 328,3million/83,09mio germany = 3,951. USA should have 11000 death in traffic and not 36000!!! Whats wrong with US people? Learn driving!

[@reviewguy12]

💯

[@piau1798]

@@ryandylan6946I think it’s partly due to Fahrschule here. Since you seem to be German you probably know that our driving lessons are very regulated in Terms of what we learn, where we have to drive and how often (autobahn, At night, interurban, …) to be able to even start the final driving exam. As far as I’m informed America doesn’t work that way, I’ve heard they just learn from their parents etc (bad idea, mistakes get passed on this way) and take the final test whenever they feel ready.

[@ryandylan6946]

@@piau1798 Not really, Fahrschule is overrated and way to expensive in G. I think there are 5 reasons 1 Alcohol age 21 vs 16, G kids learn drinking under control of their parents. US kids learn to deal with alcohol way to late without parent control. 2. A lot of drug use because 16-20y old US have no access to alcohol and its often easier to get hard drugs than a harmlees single beer bottle. 3. not enough cheap public transport in the US, so to much people take the risk of drugged or drunk driving. 4. Sometimes very wide and vast much safer US streets with a ridiculous speed limit of 45 and 55mh, very tiring. Its safer to drive 4hours 90 Mh than 8hours tiring 45Mh fall asleep and get smashed by a truck. 5. Most deaths are caused by heavy trucks because they have a longer breaking distance. German trucks have a speed limit of 38 Mh on country roads, 50 Mh on highways so they are allways slower than the cars and have enough space for an emergency brake. US trucks are allowed to drive the same speed like the cars, sometimes 75 Mh (115kmh) and in case of an emergency breake they allways smash 2 or 3 cars!

[@thewewguy8t88]

That describes a lot of how my life was growing up as a kid.

[@charlotteschriener8739]

After the homework was done, we children werde told "Go outside and play". And from then on we were on our own until the church bells rang at 6 p.m. That was the signal for us to go home. Either you had already agreed to play at school or you rang a friend's doorbell and asked "Are you coming out to play?". Since hardly any of us children owned a clock, the church tower clock was always an important point of reference, especially when you had to be home earlier because you had to go to piano lessons or do sports. And when the weather really didn't allow playing outside (a bit of rain wasn't really an argument), you rang a friend's bell to play there. The other parents' first question was always "When do you have to be home?" and one was then sent home at the appropriate time. Times have changed - traffic has increased, the number of children has decreased. It's not quite as idyllic anymore and schools are struggling to curb the parents' taxis, which endanger the children with their wild parking. But I find it really interesting to hear from a "foreign perspective" how our country is perceived. Thanks for that!

[@YukiTheOkami]

Decreased? Tell tgis to half the kindergsrden playing in our soviet block jard xD Literially We have 2 idenric playgroubds ut one has nore open space the one in my yard has the smaler space but every sibgle kid of the neightborhood is here and some make noice of 20 children If i had been playing this loud bsck than id be in trouble 😅

[@liliaeth]

@@YukiTheOkami thing is, you probably did play that loud back then, but as a kid you don't notice it. and far too often people have gotten less tolerant of kid's noise in the neighborhood.

[@charlotteschriener8739]

@@YukiTheOkami, isn't it great that we can live in a country that by law accepts that noise is part of a child's natural development and not considered a disturbance? Gone are the days of janitors chasing away children playing and neighbors yelling an indignant "quiet out there" out of their windows - and I'm glad about that. Hearing children playing outside is always the sign for me that "Spring is here!"

[@jessicaely2521]

See kids in the US have the same life as you do except it's be home when the streetlights turn on and we wore a watch with a timer to be able to be home in time to go to an activity. My brother and I had what you had, but we also had a lake in our backyard and would hop in the boat (it was a small blow up boat that fit 6 people. There was no motor. We were the motor or wind was the motor. We either took turns swimming behind the boat, put up the sail that we built, or paddled) and pick up our friends to go explore the lake, play in the playground, swim, etc. My nephew has the exact same life my brother and I had. Soon my niece will be coming along with brother.

[@realroadrunnr]

Depending on the time of year our time reference could also be "when the street lights go on" :) But yeah, that's how I remember it from my childhood as well.

[@pablomax9376]

Also an American living in DE. Another nice thing they have here which we do not have in the US is the concept of "borrowed grandparents". This is especially nice for people like us, who have no other family around. Our retired neighbors took on this role and they take it very seriously. They love to spend time with our son and ensure that he exposed to traditional German stories and traditions. Not to mention, it gives us a little break ;)

[@susanfarley1332]

I visited Germany with a small school group. We stayed with a German family. One day their teenage daughter came to her mom and discussed with her the trip her and her friends were going on. The daughter was going to France with her friends. I was amazed that her mom was quite casual about her teenage daughter leaving to go to another country. I asked the mom about that. She said they raise their children to be trustworthy responsible adults. In the US it seems we don't allow our children to be adults until they are 21. Then we expect them to know how to act like adults. From the time I was in the 6th grade until the 12th I rode my bicycle to school. It was several miles. I liked riding my bike better than riding a bus.

[@cellevangiel5973]

No; you are right. But at 18 you make them a soldier and send them into a war.

[@susanfarley1332]

@@cellevangiel5973 I don't make them a soldier myself. The way they train them to be soldiers seems like brainwashing to me.

[@lethfuil]

​@@susanfarley1332 The brainwashing starts much earlier. Pledge of allegiance to the US Flag? In Europe only the literal, original, Nazis did that (to civilians and children). Oh, the part where US kids are kids until they're 21 and then are suddenly expected to be fully functioning adults: YES. That's such an issue, that also creates so much non-functional adults and it's overall no fun either.

[@reviewguy12]

💯

[@alexanderwahl7902]

I craw up in a small Village in Germany and my parents could only afford a Car thats make life a bit diffilcut ,but we need to get to School and all my Friends and i took the Bus every day and we have learnd So much was is right and what is right. Ok i have to be hornest to my self we had alot more oppertunity to skip the School when you get out off your own,but when you have been seen by the police or an person thay would ask why you are not at the School this morning then you Trier to finde a excuse we a lesson or we have to get later out. My bigest mistake was a Friend and had been using the '' time off '' to to a bit of Shooping with out paying for this products and ans we have been court we had been taken back to the Shop to apologise and give the toys Black to the owner. We both could not play with eachother for a month and that talked me stealing is not a Option and skiping School . You learn more when you out what is right or wrong,then when you be protecded by your Parents . What i dont and will not understand that with the Americans, this must be diffrent in some places then I lived and work in Long Island i always have seen young Childrens as young 10 plus to be out by them self and Walk to the School,it may it is more Commonwealth in smaller Town and places. I will be always thank full to my parents that i could learn to be responsibill with my own live and learnd first how consume Alcohol responsibil ,before i get send to Army with a young age and even before i been 21. You trust your Childrens to Drive a Car with 17 and take up Weapons ,but you dont trust you Childrens how to learn to Drink responsibility. We still have a good Training after our School and got a good Job as well. ONLY OUT OFF YOUR OWN MISSTAKE CAN YOU LEARN FROM

[@dhtran681]

That reminds me of my childhood in Germany 35 years ago. I explored the whole city by bike. All I need is a map in my pocket. (Navigation system did not exist). We didn't call anyone to go out with a smartphone (bcause they did not exist), but instead we showed up in front of their house with a group of friends on our bikes. It was such a nice thing, which I really really miss today. Thank you for sharing your video.

[@TypeAshton]

I grew up in a subdivision in suburbia... The rule was that I always had to stay within "shouting distance" so I could hear my mom call me in for dinner (unless I had permission to be at a friend's house further away)

[@bragiboddason4304]

I just want to agree 100% with that. When I think back to my childhood in Germany in the 80s and compare it to today, many of today's children seem far too sheltered and many parents far too unrelaxed. The freedoms of that time would be unthinkable today, which is a regrettable development.

[@Warentester]

​@@TypeAshtonLand of the free, eh? What an incredible restriction on the childhood

[@axelurbanski2774]

Yes With 20penny in the pocket for phonecall.

[@axelurbanski2774]

@@TypeAshton als ich so alt wie Jack war, war ich in der Nachbarschaft bekannt als der Junge mit dem quietschenden Dreirad. Es kamen die Nachbarn und meinten das muss dringend geölt werden. Meinem Mutter sagte:" Nein so weiss ich wo er ist!" Das ist die Umkehrung der Rufweite.

[@MikeMellies]

Another german example of that topic: as a german teenager in the 80's I came up with the idea of having a bike trip to the german baltic sea together with a friend of mine for summer holidays back in 1986. Starting point was my hometown Frankfurt/Main, so the challange was to make 600 Kilometers in 10 days (both in the age of 14). We had an official paper documents with us, that confirmed our parents consent. The only condition our parents made, was, that we had to call them every day from public phone boxes (cell phones didn't exist). We spent the nights at camping places and had the teenage summer holidays of our (young) live. I remember arguing a long time before the trip to convince our parents to allow that. From my today perspective I'm still extremly gratefull, my parents allowed it. I grew a lot in this year. I don't know, if I would have agreed, if my kids came up with an idea like that nower days 🙄. Love your videos! My first comment ever 😁...your work on these culture diffrences are opening very unexpected perspective on my home country. Thanks for that! :)

[@flitsertheo]

Today you could follow your kids "live", and you could localise exactly where they are with cellphone apps.

[@nocturnalsingularity3138]

I live in a small town (village) in NYS, and because of the small town setting as well as the sidewalks, I allow my kids a great deal of freedom. All I ask is that I know their whereabouts. I definitely get calls from grandma or aauns n uncle's when they see my kids at the store by themselves or at the park watching the baseball games. But I set the precedent in my neighborhood. At first the parents were a little bit shocked, but now the whole neighborhoods kids are with mine when I send them to buy butter, or give them a few bucks for ice cream from the stand up the road.. I'm happy I did this with my kids. They know our town better then I do. They can get anywhere in our area through the woods or on the road, they know where all their friends live in and out of the neighborhood and could ride their bikes there if need be. I think my kids are the last of American kids who run out the door n don't come back home until dinner time.

[@avrracer4175]

Das sind deutsche Kinder in einem amerikanischen Land. Deutschtum wird überleben

[@garryferrington811]

Brings back memories.

[@sonjam4880]

About the kids food in restaurants; for us here it’s normal to just order a Räuberteller for children and that just an empty plate and all the adults will put a small amount of their food onto the Räuberteller so the child can try and eat whatever they want 😊

[@inkenhafner7187]

Räuberteller, plus special kid's menu plus you can order most dishes in a small size, too (if it makes sense)

[@flitsertheo]

An empty plate, you couldn't do that in Belgium. Every restaurant has a kids menu. Though kids usually switch very fast to "adult" menus.

[@berndhofmann752]

Thank you very much! I'm German, grew up in Karlsruhe. It's quite good to hear from foreigners how it is, to live here! I'm a grandfather now with four kids and 6 grandchildren! We have lived in Ivory Coast, Switzerland and Spain. And as an intl. Management consultant I worked all over the world 🌎 Today I live with my second wife from Cameroun in summer in Germany and in winter in other countries. ❤❤❤❤ Thank you. And I love the freiburg area.

[@wolfiwolf4874]

Hey In Deutschland haben wir dafür auch ein schönes Sprichwort. "Ein Kind braucht zwei Dinge in seinem Leben, Wurzeln und Flügel." Die Flügel um die Welt in allen Facette zu entdecken. Die Wurzeln der Familie und Freunde sorgen für den halt, wenn es mal schwierig oder zu viel wird. Es ist schön zu sehen das ihr diese Erfahrungen machen dürft und eure Kinder nicht mit ner "hundeleine" gassi gehen müssen, wie ich es oft in den Staaten sehe 😊

[@nfboogaard]

In Holland sagen wir das ein Kind drei zachen braucht: Ruhe, Regelmāsigkeit, und Reinheit.

[@Paula-y8h]

im 13 and As a German child, I thought that all these things were normal. whenever I go to see my friends or go to school, I take the bike and I think that this has also made me very independent. Maybe it will help someone from the perspective of a person who was born and grew up in Germany

[@arnodobler1096]

Freut mich 👍

[@th60of]

I don't have the data or experience available, but my gut feeling tells me this isn't about Germany vs America, but about America going down a weird path with child rearing vs the rest of humanity.

[@willekevanderham5326]

I see this pattern, if less strong still, in many more countries. In the UK it is already almost as bad as in the USA, even in 'safe' the Netherlands kids have less freedom and more parents hovering with each next generation.

[@schattensand]

The Germans make so many mistakes on so many fronts. It is more remarkable, that something works at all and if only for middle class families.

[@johnatkins2665]

Absolutely !

[@faultier1158]

@@willekevanderham5326 Yeah, it has also gotten worse in Germany. Still nowhere as bad as in the US, but still: there are people who install surveillance apps on their children's phones, and there's an increasing number of parents who drive their kids to school each day, which makes the streets around the schools less safe (also because an increasing number of cars used for that are SUVs).

[@becconvideo]

@@faultier1158 if you drive carefully a SUV is no more dangerous than other vehicles. You can easily kill a person with a compact car if you do not watch out.

[@lizcollinson2692]

I was 15 when i visited Germany and couldn't fight off a cowded bus at our stop and got separated from the group. A teacher with a german group sent one of thier kids to take me back one stop, back to the group. This was so lovely and appreciated, but not sure our teachers woild do the same as i was lead back by a kid about 2-3 years my junior. ❤

[@mbr5742]

Germans health care system was created to lessen the influence of the Kommunists (Sozialisten as they where called in germany back then) during the times of Bismarck. Same for pensions. Bismarck hijacked their ideas while at the same time tap-dancing on their kidneys

[@cellevangiel5973]

One day in a supermarket there was a little boy, alone, near to crying. I asked him and he lost his father. So I told him that I would pick him up so he could look around. I did and then his father did see him. I can do that up here, I would not dare to do that in the USA.

[@lizcollinson2692]

@@cellevangiel5973 true, 50/50 in UK

[@hstrykid]

As an American living in the Czech Republic, I was surprised when I moved here at the number of children 8 and older riding public transportation early in the mornings and in the afternoon or even the early evening. Their confidence and independence is quite evident. Fun story: one morning I got onto the tram to go to work at around 7 am. I noticed a young girl maybe 10 or 11 get on with me. The tram was full so we both had to stand. Several stops later, most of the people got off the tram to transfer to the subway at that stop. I was wearing headphones listening to music or a podcast and just decided to keep standing. A moment later, this same girl tapped my arm and started pointing at an empty seat. She was telling me, in Czech that there was a seat for me. I should also point out that I was about 54 at the time with a mostly grey beard. Anyhow, I removed my headphones and said in English, "I'm sorry, I don't speak Czech." And she literally in a mid-czech sentence and said, "oh English, There's a seat for you!" with such an earnest expression that I knew I had to sit down. It was one of the cutest things ever. I told her thank you and sat down. Now, of course, kids here are taught to give up seats to older people, women, pregnant women, etc so I'm sure she was doing what was the expected thing. And, yes, my own daughter (who's now 30) told me later on FB, "Gee dad, she thought you were OLD!" because she's got my sarcastic sense of humor. :D But, basically, the Czech Republic has a similar attitude with children and independence that Germany has only without the same dedication to bike lanes and such although this is changing for sure. But, I agree that the majority of kids here in Europe are healthier, more independent and probably better prepared for adulthood than kids in the US in general. Another thing that I think about, is how older parents in the US bemoan the fact that kids are coddled and babied and not given a chance to learn things on their own, but then turn around and call the police or social services when they do see kids actually outside without adult supervision. It's such a crazy paradox.

[@NoctLightCloud]

I think there's generally less crime here in Europe. Diversity only dillutes social cohesion. That's a fact. I've studied, lived, and worked in Japan, Korea, and China, and there, it's the same safety level as in Europe, if not even safer. Pretty sure it's the same in most African countries. The common denominator is a homogenous society. It makes sense from a psychological perspective. A white man will care slightly less about an Asian kid, a black man slightly less about an older white gentleman, etc... Youre more inclined to stick to your group, similar behaving and thinking people, and care about them. You'll have the same customs and traditions and an automatic understanding of each other. Whether we like that fact or not, is another topic tho (I'm very open-minded and most of my friends are East Asian or love East Asia, so I'm not being "racist").Look at what Brazil has become like, or London/Paris, some Indian areas with religious conflict, or parts of the US. It's not about the amount of people that creates the problem, cause there's metropoli in Europe, Asia and Africa too without any such crime issues/no-go zones (Prague, Istanbul, Moscow, Seoul, basically any huge city in China and Japan). The only diversity experiment that works so far is Singapore, but not sure if every country can become a bank hub and get rich by that. Diversity is a (nice!) fantasy but does not work. People too different from each other won't live together and form a community.

[@erikziak1249]

I regularly took the trolleybus since I was 6 years old. I knew exactly, it was line 216 and its route. Then streetcar line 4 and 6 and 7. Express bus 101 and when going to the little Carpathians around which Bratislava literally is built around, I took either the trolleybus 213 or bus 33, depending on which part to go to.

[@thiloreichelt4199]

@@NoctLightCloud The problem is whether people are more likely to think along the line of "this is my society and I should care at least somewhat about it" vs "I do not care, not my problem". Whether people are white, black or green is important only insofar as it contributes to thinking along the "not my problem" line. But that is mainly a question whether people are used to see "different" people. Distrust in foreigners is generally highest in people who very seldom actually see foreigners.

[@NoctLightCloud]

@@thiloreichelt4199I agree, and they're more likely to care if they behave the same, do the same, think the same, and yes, look the same even (e.g. pretty teenage girls hanging out eith other pretty teenage girls). I've lived in both homogenous and heterogenous societies for years, and I have seen patterns and have felt differences in social cohesion and public safety. You can't claim its imaginary if many people experience this. I'm not a psychologist to be able to pinpoint the exact reasons, but imo my former explanation makes quite sense/explains it in a very simplistic way.

[@Robbedem]

@@NoctLightCloud There are many places in Europe with non homogeneous societies (often less than 50% native) and the kids still take the bus/tram or bike to school.

[@thailux6494]

I'm not German, but also European. I find it incredibly entertaining to watch youtube videos from American immigrants. Be it to the Netherlands, Germany, Portugal or Spain, it's so interesting to see Americans get surprised by the most regular and normal things for us. It also make me think that the US is such an odd combination between being laissez-faire in some things and completely controlling in others.

[@GregoryLenetis]

We are just controlled with the guise of freedom. It is colonialism.

[@simplesimon755]

As an American Gen X-er, I grew up the same way kids are growing up in Germany today. In my opinion, the problem is fear has consumed Americans. Parents want to protect their kids but unfortunately they end up hurting them. Anything done to excess is unhealthy, even protection. I recall when I was a kid a safety program in our neighborhood where some homes were given bright yellow stickers to put in their windows. The stickers told kids where they could turn to if they were in trouble. That was the closest thing to helicopter parenting back then. In recent years I moved back to the neighborhood I grew up in. For years I had no idea we even had kids on this block until the pandemic hit. During the pandemic teachers would occasionally drive slowly through the neighborhoods like impromptu parades honking and waving to the kids who would come out of their houses. It was bittersweet to see. I realized there were so many kids here and yet none ever played outside like we did. One mom I spoke to told me her 3 sons have bicycles but she was too afraid to let them ride them. I absolutely agree with everything stated in the video as benefits to raising children this way. Kids develop interpersonal skills, learn to look out for each other, learn how to live in the world around them, don't feel so isolated, and adults feel an obligation to protect them. It's just a healthier way to stay human. Fear is a very difficult hurdle to overcome but I hope we can so that future generations will grow up stronger and happier. Thank you for this video. It was a great reminder of what life was like in America and what it should be again. Germany sounds like a great place to raise a family.

[@vgalis]

It's not just an unfounded fear, it's also car-dependent suburbs. When I moved to Atlanta suburbs in seventh grade, I stopped walking to school. The school would have been a 30 minute walk, which would have been ok, but the route would have required me to walk down a windy street through the woods with blind turns that not only had no sidewalks, but in places there was literally no room to get out the way of a car because of the slope of the hills it was built on. The sad part is my school bus took a windy route that ended up taking the same amount of time as walking would have.

[@zzz6valvoline]

Agreed. Kidnapping is extremely rare in the US. Driving your kid to school is far more likely to end up in injury or fatality than a kidnapping.... It's not even close.

[@tonywalters7298]

Humans are poor evaluators of risks. For example car accidents are more common than child abductions, but people are going to be more fearful of child abductions. Same as why people are afraid of being in a plane crash, when people are more likely to get into a car accident on the way to the airport.

[@davidgrenis638]

YOU DIDN'T SAY WHERE YOU GREW UP IN THE UNITED STATES YOU KEPT THAT VERY VAGUE BUT OTHER THAN THAT I AGREE WITH YOU I THINK IT'S IT'S EITHER BECAUSE WE HAVE COUNTRY OF MIXED RASES THE NEGROES MAKE A BIG THING ABOUT GOING TO CHURCH ON SUNDAY BUT DAMN THEY STICK A KNIFE IN YOUR RIBS MONDAY THROUGH SATURDAY AND THE MEXICAN IS RUNNING AROUND AND GANGS HAVING TURF WARS ABOUT WANTING TO SELL MORE DRUGS ACROSS THE USA WHICH IS AT THE CORE MOST OF OUR PROBLEMS DRUG CULTURE BUT THIS ALL GOES BACK TO REVELATION CHAPTER 21 WHERE LIST THOSE WHO ARE AUTOMATICALLY GOING TO HELL TOP OF THE LIST ARE COWARDS AND THOSE ARE PEOPLE THAT DID NOT SHOW UP TO STAND UP FOR HIGH-QUALITY CHRISTIAN VALUES AT THEIR CHURCHS BOARD MEETINGS MEETINGS LETTER CITY COUNCIL MEETINGS SCHOOL DISTRICT MEETINGS COUNTY COMMISSIONERS ETC SO WHO SHOWED UP AND FILL THOSE MEETINGS WITH THEIR OWN THE HOMOSEXUAL PERVERTS NOW ARE PRETTY MUCH IN CHARGE

[@couchpotatoe91]

The American psychologist Jonathan Haidt actually talks about this a lot and about a term he calls anti-fragility - that is growing stronger through wear and tear, kind of like a muscle. He write some really good books in general, observing the society in the US ever since the 90s and 2000s. Not in a politically biased way btw (he's very much a centrist by heart).

[@gloofisearch]

This is so spot on. I feel so bad for my grand kids in the US that they are not able to do anything without their parents outside the house. Most of the time they are stuck at home and play games, missing out on so much that the world has to offer.

[@ShesquatchPiney]

Our third spaces that are crucial for socializing are vanishing. This has been documented since the 1995 essay and eventually book, Bowling Alone by Rob Putnam.

[@haribo836]

A proper globetrotter here. I've seen and learned a lot of different cultures around the globe, but the way you managed to put it from a kids perspective... I've never really realized that growing up as a kid in the Netherlands, learning the rules of traffic early, stepping into the adult world step by step and not jump by jump, has been a special thing at all. But the way you put it, I think it did make a big impact on the person I am today. Thank you. We need to learn every day and you are my lesson of the week, maybe month.

[@TypeAshton]

Thank you so much for the kind compliment. We feel very fortunate to be able to raise our kids in an environment that is safe but provides opportunities for independence - like you describe.

[@Kristina_S-O]

Concerning the well-being of parents... My dad, who has always had a very blunt way of expressing his opinions (even for a German!), has once put it this way: Parenting is self-protection. By raising your kids to be self-reliant, responsible and behave in a socially acceptable way you make sure to keep your peace of mind as a parent. Its a rather unusual and on first sight rather harsh change of perspective, but in my opinion there's a lot of truth to that. Yes, we all love our children and therefore we want to make sure they grow up physically and emotionally unharmed. But that goes for us adults as well. It's roughly 20 years of our lives we "invest" into that goal, so best not spend it exclusively with worries, anxiety even, providing shuttle service, homework help, and in ER more than absolutely necessary.

[@Ribberflavenous]

I am with you and your Dad, Kristina. I can't count the times that I have told my children that raising them was about teaching them not to need me, and that means they will not always like what I require from them. Even better is when I expressed to them that they are not more important than the relationship I have with my wife - they were very much subordinate to the the parent's needs in the pecking order. I loved them, I supported them, I guided them - but not at the expense of my marriage. I may have been a meany, but it produced 3 college grads that put themselves through college and are (if I allow for prideful bias) upstanding and well adjusted adults.

[@jeffjeziorowski8612]

I love your videos. I was born in Germany to American parents. My Dad was in the Army and I grew up hearing how much my parents loved Germany. When I was stationed in Germany I married a German and our daughter was also born there. I’m trying very hard to talk my daughter into moving back to Germany so I show her your videos. Her and her husband gave me three grandchildren. I’m flying to Frankfurt 4 September and it’s been 20 years since I was last there. I can’t wait! Two full months traveling around Europe via Eurail. I’ll be in Freiburg early October. I hope run into you guys!😊

[@Alejojojo6]

How was the trip?

[@jeffjeziorowski8612]

My trip was wonderful! 60 days wasn’t enough. The only thing I missed was my own bed. 😂I’m ready to go back!

[@calise8783]

I remember sending my kids happily off on their bikes to buy us bread and rolls at the Bäcker alone when in early Grundschule. They learn to look out for themselves and each other, speak with adults and express their wishes, deal with money and they came back a little bit bigger in so many ways. And I grew as a mom so much that day. 😂 Unlike friends and family in the US who complained about their teens relying on them to make every phone call for them, my kids were calling MediaMarkt at 13 and asking if something was in stock, making and going to their own haircut appointments, calling the orthodontist from school when a bracket broke off to make a repair appointment, and contacting Fahrschule all alone to sign up including going to their own eye tests and signing up and paying for their first aid course. As my oldest is just finishing Abi now and is 18, I’m so very sad that it all went by so quickly but know that he is so self-reliant and ready for whatever comes next -he can meal plan, cook, clean, do laundry, contact a doctor when ill to get a Krankmeldung, take care of his finances….. I know these are all good things and as they should be….but I’ll miss him while celebrating each additional independent step in his life. 😂 You can laugh at my emotionality now as my oldest leaves the nest.

[@TypeAshton]

I think these kind of experiences are SO important and not talked about enough. It is often "easier" as parents to "do the talking" for our little ones, but it isn't best for them in the long run. The amount of teens who don't feel comfortable calling adults, ordering in restaurants, etc. is quite shocking. Its not a "big" deal for us yet because our kids are still very young, but we are already trying to teach Jack to ask for his own snack at the bakery and give him the money to give to the baker.

[@MrTjonke]

I started bicycling to school alone or with friends at age 7 in Germany, was nothing weird, even had to cross 2 major roads on my 2.5km route.

[@TypeAshton]

I still find this really incredible. I grew up in a small town.... And although I lived only 1km from my school, it was deemed "unsafe" to bike or walk because there were no sidewalks and not even a shoulder on the road in which to ride (speed limits were still limited on this road to 40 mph)

[@adaadena7291]

My parents brought me to school on my first day (6 Years old) and after that I walked alone. Mind you, I lived in a village, did only cross one tiny intersection and the walk was like 1km. I sometimes crossed the street to buy sweets at a kiosk on the way there with my pocket money. That street hat quiet a bit of traffic, but we had a pedestrian crossing. I always felt safe. There once was a sadly deadly kidnapping like only 50 km from our home. Ans yes the parents of kids with a longer way to school rallied together to get the local government to get better school bus routes. But If I remember correctly most of the parents where like more vigilant for two weeks but they trusted in the police work and realized that they couldn't wrap us in cotton wool, cause it would take away our freedom. I think I also remember the school reaching out to the parents to tell them that exactly. That there was never a hundred percent safety, that if they wanted that they would have to lock us up in tiny cells at home.

[@Warentester]

Same here. We crossed large roads, train tracks and cycled on roads without dedicated cycling paths. I cycled with friends and the only limitation was on the route which was agreed with the parents. And if cycling wasn't an option then one parent would drop off/pick up 3 kids (or how many they could fit in the car), not one.

[@gaelle4328]

@@TypeAshton Everything that is not considered a motorway is considered safe normally from when you are 10, I walked to school from I was 7.

[@evajansen7807]

Same here but in Sweden, we took our bikes to school in the summer and walked (without adults) during the winter.

[@HH-hd7nd]

I think an important part of the high rates of depression in the USA is the lack of time off. People need time off to relax and relief the stress, but US americans don't really do that because of the lack of work/life balance in the US. You can see that problem even in the videos from US americans who do travel and do take a few weeks off: When they talk about visiting Europe they almost always make the mistake to put themselves under pressure to see as much as they can. A KZbinr and streamer I occasionally watch plans to visit Europe this summer for the first time. As far as I understand it they come here for about 3 weeks...and they plan to visit 4 different countries in this timeframe: Norway, the Netherlands, Germany and Italy. And while I admit that they will for sure see a lot of nice stuff and will have a lot of memorable experiences during their trip - this is not a vacation that allows them to recharge. When they fly back to the USA they will be exhausted. US americans have a real problem because they are put under stress to such an extend in their normal day-to-day lives that they are almost incapable of relaxing even when on vacation.

[@TypeAshton]

I think this is a big issue and is also tied to the lack of regulation on vacation days or paid sick leave. Most Americans are considered lucky if you get 2 weeks paid time off, and these two weeks INCLUDE any sick leave. So if you have to split those 2 weeks between any illnesses for you, your kids and major holidays... it leaves very little time to explore another continent across an ocean.

[@davesaunders7080]

@@TypeAshton Remember the old song 16 tons by Merle Travis? "I owe my soul to the company store" Nothing has changed, sad.

[@HH-hd7nd]

@@TypeAshton Yep. But what I meant is that even when they go on vacation for a while they are not really on vacation. Their vacation plans never include time to relax, it's always rushing from city to city and country to country, spending at least 50 % of the time on the road - that is not recharging, that's exhausting.

[@FFM0594]

One of the nicest things to do is to find a nice street cafe, sit outside, enjoy your coffee and just watch the world go by for an hour or so.

[@HH-hd7nd]

@@FFM0594 Absolutely - except the coffee. I hate coffee^^

[@nordicexile7378]

My childhood in the US in the late 60s and early 70s felt very much like how you describe life in Germany today. We went out and played unsupervised, and had to bike ourselves to school or to piano lessons or to swim team practice. This was in a quiet area of the city, where the main street -- once a small two-lane road -- has since been widened to contain four-lanes and is no longer safe. I lament not being able to give my own kids the childhood that I experienced. Now I live in Sweden and observe the same kind of environment that you show in Germany. I remember being extremely surprised to see a pair of five-year-olds in central Stockholm making their way to school unsupervised. I was extremely worried for them back then, but now I think of how nice and independent they must feel. 😊

[@TypeAshton]

I also had the same "culture shock" moment when I saw first and second graders making their way to school on the street cars unsupervised in Freiburg. I was similarly concerned because such behavior would have likely gotten a call from CPS in the States.... but here, it's normal and safe.

[@DavidHernandez-oc1oz]

Same here. It makes me feel bad for the kids of today.

[@515aleon]

I grew up in the 50s-60s. I did have a few lessons and special classes but my life was not scripted like it seems to be in the US now. Also the restaurants back then. There were kids menu lines I think, but mostly we went to regular restaurants. I remember when I was 10 (or so) going to Japanese menu for my birthday. We had a much more adult experience where everything is not catered to children. But otoh, they would never think we wouldn't like the food or the atmosphere. We would go to the art galleries, museums (I love children's museums, however, kids were expected to enjoy this and the thing is we did). This child focus is infantalizing for kids. Of course they will be bored if they are expected to be.

[@dirklindsayfranke1753]

Left Germany when I was 7, was born there, can remember my mom took me the first 2 days to Kindergarten,and then I did it on my own, I was 4!! We roamed the whole town in bicycles, and I can remember vividly visiting Castles Lakes etc, and I couldn't have been older then 6 years old. I can remember moving to a new country and could not understand why my friends weren't allowed out with their bicycles and only in the street in front of the house. We were so much more independent, and that's one of the reasons why I love traveling the world so much, it was the way you were allowed to do things, responsibly off course. Thanks Germany.❤

[@henner7371]

I don't think that kids can go to Kindergarten on their own anywhere in Germany nowadays. My sisters home is less then a hundred meters from the Kindergarten, not even across the street and she always has to pick up her kids. The little children would never ever be allowed to leave the Kindergarten on their own, because the educators would be responsible if something happens on their way home.

[@cd2290]

What you said at the end is KEY! I know I don’t trust my community or strangers. It’s also a mutual feeling. I just set up an invite to a birthday party for my 10 year old and some families are not comfortable with a drop off party at a local theater. It’s not that they don’t trust me but they don’t trust the community at large. And how can we, we’ve outpaced calendar days with mass shootings in 2023. We see “community members” screaming at each other and calling names in our online social media groups. We have adults who believe that outrageous behavior is warranted in restaurants, school board meetings and beyond. There is a lack of trust because public behavior and conversations are lacking in empathy, compassion, understanding and integrity. There is a general disrespect of others and it’s a difficult problem to overcome. As an educator, I’ve been on the receiving end of this from parents and their children.

[@joansparky4439]

_"public behavior and conversations are lacking in empathy, compassion, understanding and integrity"_ IMHO most probably based on a winner-takes-all-society which actually is caused by rules that enforce benefits for a few at the cost of the rest. European/Asian countries (or better societies) do not have such rules (or better not in such large numbers) like the US (or better anglo-saxon societies) have got them (yet) and also have plenty rules that try to re-distribute the benefits a few gain at the cost of the rest of society, to even out the inequalities a bit again.. but this isn't a lasting response to the root cause of this and ultimately the US right now is just ahead of the curve there. The rest WILL follow, just a matter of time as no one is addressing the root causes of this.

[@Vgudorf]

What a thought provoking video. I’ve lived in the US my entire life, and what has occurred to me more and more frequently is that childhood in the this country has become increasingly poor and dysfunctional. Kids are more individually isolated and dependent upon social media to be cued into what is acceptable thinking and behavior. There’s less and less autonomy of movement and decision making. Schools have become locked-down prisons due to fear of violence and mass shootings, and teachers and administrators live in fear of consequences and reprisals from any perceived error in judgement. We used to go on several field trips per year when I was in school, but nowadays, there are too many risks associated with taking children out of the building and off campus. Children are bored and restless, and picking up on the anxiety of the adults in charge. Kids do too much sitting and thumb scrolling, too little exercise, too much stress and boredom-eating of junk-filled snacks. I honestly feel sorry for American kids growing up today, and have often told my grown kids I’m glad they don’t have children because of how the quality of childhood (and life here in general) has eroded. They quite frankly agree, and don’t want to bring kids into the world, given the current state of things. I know virtually every developed country is experiencing serious population decline over the past few decades, so it’s not just happening here in the US, but what I really find discouraging is the lack of willingness to be introspective as a society, and figure out how we can improve quality of life for everyone. There’s a serious soul sickness occurring in America, but we’d seemingly rather point fingers at one another, and feel smug in our own self-perceived righteousness.

[@AsapEF]

German here, thx for your POV 👍 you show me the benefits of our society

[@tovirus9818]

Every morning I commute with my 3y old son from our village to Frankfurt where I drop him off at the Kita. It’s a 20min bus ride and also around 20-25min ride via local train. I’m so happy he’s already picking up the essentials to getting around via public transportation.

[@Dutch1961]

At the age of eleven my brother, who was two years older than me at the time, and I cycled from The Hague to Gouda. This was a distance of 34 kilometers, some 21 miles, one way. It took us over two hours to get there. It was in the 1970's and there was no satellite navigation back then, nor did we have a map. Of course we had an understanding of where we started from and what the general direction was we had to travel in. It was all on bicycle lanes where we had to read the roadsigns to get in the right direction to Gouda. We were out the large part of the day and our parents weren't worried a bit. Of course we had forgotten to inform them of where we were going. That's how you become independent and self reliant.

[@martinbull-gundersen8878]

My mother would've been furious at me for forgetting to leave a note about where I was if I did something like that, but she wouldn't have minded the bike ride :-)

[@peterpritzl3354]

I LOVE your videos, I guess that's why you are part of the handful I subscribed to. You are two of the most sane Americans I have ever encountered. I am 70, born and raised in Munich, made Abitur, but did not want to be 'locked into the system', instead I traveled the world for 8 years, and ended up in the USA about 41 years ago. But Oberbayern is calling me back home. I started walking a few blocks to school at age 6, and took the bike to Gymnasium 5 miles for about 8 years, half of that on inner city traffic. I grew up pretty much like your little one does, and that gave me a great start into my life of travel, adventure, and understanding. I wish you the best. Peace out

[@holgermessner851]

I did grow up in Mannheim, BW. When I was little, I had to walk a couple blocks to got to school. Coming from a poor family, I always had my own “world travel tour” going and coming from school. Walking a block: Arriving in “Little Italy”, 3 blocks more “Little Istanbul”. And the best on walking back? The different smells mothers cooking for the family. And when I was lucky, I got some pasta or fresh bread from the people. Maybe that’s where my hunger for fresh bread comes from? I can sit and eat a fresh bread without anything on it. Only a class of milk, a coffee - or in the evening with a bottle of beer. My friends looking always at me: “That’s it? Nothing on it. No “good meal”?! I always say: Well you can’t imagine how good it taste. You could put a steak or a burger in front of me. I still would choose a fresh bread instead! I know. I’m weird. ;-)

[@thestraightroad305]

My husband and I visited our daughter, son in law and two grandchildren, 8 and 11, in northern Italy where they live for 5 weeks. During that time we spent a week in Innsbruck and the Allgäu region of Germany. The things you’re talking about were exactly the striking things to us. Children walking about alone. Many, many recreation and play sites designed for not only children but inviting adults and children to play TOGETHER. We had a blast hiking, riding mountain coasters, going to the beautiful Innsbruck zoo, and sometimes even visiting castles. We rested, talked, walked everywhere, and loved every minute of this magical time. My grandkids are very interested in languages and tried to learn essential German phrases in the short time we were there. And the people were so kind, dignified, and caring. But the striking thing was the obvious care for children.

[@TypeAshton]

It is SUCH a freeing way to live and so liberating to the little ones to feel like a participating member of their community. ♥️

[@thestraightroad305]

@@TypeAshton What is your take on the shifting politics in the EU/ Germany as they affect day to day life? There is so much going on in the world with climate disasters and global unrest producing mass immigration and affecting economics…I wonder what your perspective is. You seem to be well educated on demographics and communities. I found your episode of gated communities very thought provoking.

[@PhilippKiessler]

On 7:58 - Jack should remove his helmet when on playground equipment. Since the helmet is significantly larger than his head, there is a risk that he will get caught in narrow places that he could have easily passed without a helmet. And if that happens when he falls, he could injure his neck. Therefore: take off the bike helmet on the playground ;-)

[@TypeAshton]

Excellent point. That video was a bit of a last minute detour. We were SUPPOSED to be biking home from Kita but then Jack saw this climbing gym and immediately made a "detour". 😂

[@ThePixel1983]

​@@TypeAshton Understandable! Jack was right. I wish I was still allowed on playgrounds.

[@mohl-bodell2948]

In Sweden, we have green "safety buckles" for children's helmets that are designed to snap open by themselves if given a long slow pull, since children often forget to take off their bicycle helmet when they are out playing in playgrounds.

[@mathsiecat]

We live in a Mehrfamilienhaus (ca. 22 families) and the children and their friends often congregate in front of our building. We often also get asked if So-and-So is home, and we’ll help find the appropriate flat to ring and ask. All the children are lovely, polite and observant and I’m happy to have them around. 😊

[@TypeAshton]

That's fantastic!

[@berndb3141]

Thanks for this interesting topic and your perspective. I'm a 40 year old man from a rural area in South Northrine-Westfalia. When I was a child, Internet and cell phones were not a thing yet. We went to school on our own, first on foot, later by bus. Our parents had no idea where we were most of the time. After school, we went outside and looked who else wanted to play and went from there. We were supposed to stay in the area but could roam and explore. Our childhood was better with this kind of freedom. Sure, we got in trouble sometimes but you learn best when you make mistakes on your own. There is a delicate balance between protecting your child and giving them enough space to grow; something they need to develop as well. When I wanted to go to regular after school activitiy, I had to figure out how to get there. Using the parents as a cab every day just wasn't in the cards. My sisters and their husbands definitly drove their kids around a lot more than our parents did us. Today, many children here, from a young age, are still out and about on there own

[@hkao6350]

Yes, you are absolutely right. Being raised in Germany, I never thought about these details that you observed. As an example, I always have a look around, if there’s a little one in sight before even thinking about crossing a red light…😮 Thanks a lot, Ashton, for your insights. Always a pleasure to listen to you 😊

[@jennyh4025]

I have to admit I’m too lazy to look for children and just cross on red when all children should be asleep. 😉

[@volkhardhenschel1863]

​@@jennyh4025 what a scary idea to cross road while the traffic light is Red!! Please, don't think where children could be when Red light is on, just follow the law, STOP WHEN RED!!!!!!!!!

[@jennyh4025]

@@volkhardhenschel1863 in the middle of the night, with no car around it‘s not quite as scary. And that’s the only time I even think about it. 😉

[@volkhardhenschel1863]

@@jennyh4025 hi Jenny, i guess you live in the USA. Here in Germany and all other parts of Europe it is by law not allowed to cross a junction or turn right while the traffic light is Red. If you do turning or crossing while Red light is on the traffic camera gets you!! Your fine in Germany will be between 118,50€ and 388,50€ and you can loose your driving licence for minimum 1 month. Under bad circumstances you go into jail up to 5 years. If you ever come to Europe be careful while driving a car and believe the european traffic rules are NOT only for cars but for ALL, pedestrians (children and adults), bikers.

[@jennyh4025]

@@volkhardhenschel1863 I‘m German and just talking about crossing on red in the middle of the night, with no car in sight (or hearing distance) as a pedestrian.

[@init000]

I‘m from the german speaking part of Switzerland and have two young kids and I think your observations are spot-on. My life, and the life of my kids, is just so relaxed and carefree compared to what I read and hear from my American friends and relatives. Sure, not everything is great and obviously bad things can happen here as well but I feel it doesn‘t dominate our entire existence the way it does in the USA. I always find it pretty funny when Americans prattle on about freedom but in fact the entire society seems super up-tight and overly focused on security and safety. I feel really sorry for many Americans and American children in particular. I‘m just so grateful that I can raise my kids in such a healthy and safe place. For me, the freedom of not having to constantly worry (about safety, money, healthcare, education etc.) far outweighs any other freedoms that may exist in the USA and don‘t exist here (though I honestly can‘t think of any such freedoms… hell, even gun ownership is pretty relaxed in Switzerland and doesn‘t seem to be causing the same security problems as in the USA - we have virtually no gun violence even though a majority of men in Switzerland have a government-issued assault rifle in their attics).

[@nigelmchugh5541]

Init000, the "assault rifle in the attic" isn't a problem in Switzerland because the owner has had the training and the practical experience while doing their "national service". I would presume those with more irrational or extreme personality types would be weeded out early in their training. Because the discipline is installed early, and the responsibility of being part of the country's defence is earned through actual active participation and training, I believe there is a lot less of the "Rambo" fantasy surrounding ownership of a military type rifle.

[@embreis2257]

the reason is simple: Americans are programmed to associate 'freedom' with the 'freedom to carry guns', the 'freedom of speech' and the freedom from 'government interference'. that is their main focus and everything else (even other parts of life affecting personal freedom) are secondary. when the result hurts them in many unforeseen ways, they are willing to put up with it. quite sad, actually, but their bipartisan, confrontational political system is wired that way.

[@tsubadaikhan6332]

I have a Swiss friend who explained your Gun Laws to me here in Australia. The way I understand the Swiss Laws, they could be implemented in America, and it would still be in keeping with their Second Amendment. It scares the crap out of their Gun Nuts when you tell them that.

[@hertelantje]

My friend in London MUST bring (they usually walk) her child to school, even though it’s only a 5 min walk and the area is safe. When they are in 5th class ( age 9-10) the children finally can walk alone, provided they have written permission from their parents. The school demands this. The year after they can walk alone to school and don’t need permission- in preparation for secondary school. Children and parents in Germany are lucky, I think.

[@QueenRaven911]

I laughed when I hear your reaction about how parents just let their kids run free in the playground. I’m a Canadian living in Germany, my 5 year old was born here. I have to say, European parents are pretty chill, we don’t interfere very much, we would observe but try not to interfere unless it’s absolutely necessary. If my daughter hurt herself, scratched her knee (or something) while climbing and playing in the playground, at the beginning she’d have a bit of drama. I usually looked at her and say, “it’s okay, you’ll live.” She’d stop the drama, and said “I know I’ll live, but it still hurts.” I’ll take a look at the injury, clean it if necessary, and then she’d run off again. Kids can tolerate a lot more than we think, and I always remind her to handle the consequences if she should take certain actions. Eventually she learned her limits. 🙂 I never even had to cover the electrical outlets ever, I showed my daughter what goes in the outlets when she started crowding around the house, she never once poke her fingers into them.

[@kat76woman]

It was just a sidenote in your last section, but it actually is something I do automatically. For example, "Green light" - on a totally empty street with no car in sight, I might ignore that (even as a German), but I would NOT do that, if a child is nearby and could see me. While I looked around and knew there was no danger, I don't know if the child that was watching me might copy my behaviour without those additional checks.

[@insu_na]

This, basically. There are very few people I know who cross a red light with a child nearby. When no children are around, I do it all the time, because I know the risks and I know what I have to do to properly assess the situation and not get myself killed, but that comes from years of experience that children just don't have

[@1Treelover]

When I lived city life in Germany I intentionally crossed the street on a red light when I`ve seen a mom with a 6 or 7 year old kid on the other side. The child began to ask her mom why this men was crossing on the red light. I took my time with the kid explaining to her "When she would be my age and my hight and when she got her drivers licence that than, after double checking that the road is empty of cars and only than she will one day also be able to cross the street on a red light. And until than she should follow the rules and stay fully concentrated when part taking in traffic. Her mother went from angry to amused and astounded. 😁

[@D0MiN0ChAn]

@@1Treelover I would have still scolded you, if I were that mother 😜 I don't even have kids myself yet, but if someone just corsses a red traffic light with kids nearby, I do make sure to loudly berate them about it.

[@willekevanderham5326]

I see too many parents with kids ignoring the red lights, showing the kids by what they do, wrong as it is.

[@arnodobler1096]

Oh nice my sunday morning routine is back. Another entertaining great video. Friendly greetings to everyone.

[@anonymusum]

A German here. My mom walked with me my way to school three times and explained everything to me, where I had to be cautious and where I had to do what. That was the end of the story and from then on I had to walk by myself. I never thought that this would be mindless. It was just normal as all the other kids did the same. Ah, and by the way - I´m glad that you like it here,.

[@Hanneslueke]

Same here. But i later learned that she followed me secretly for a week on my way to school. Didn't hurt, and she didn't need to interfere

[@anonymusum]

@@Hanneslueke Ha -she spied on you.

[@ruthmaier755]

I walked to kindergarten by myself at 4 in Frankfurt. I did learn later that my mother followed me the first couple of times. I was insistent, though. I told her I was embarrassed to be walked by my mother🤣.

[@jasminamelink822]

@@Hanneslueke😂, I did the same with my son

[@loboheeler]

I grew up in the USA in the1950s, and children then had a lot more freedom to take care of themselves. When we were old enough to get bicycles, there was no limit on where we could go. A bit of risk was considered something to be learned. I was a "latch key" kid by 10 years old, as my parents both worked. They trusted I would always try to do the right thing. Later generations of kids don't have that experience, and have not learned much useful to the ongoing society. It's actually scary to us oldsters!

[@theukyankee]

Same for me in the 70s/80s. I had so much more freedom. It's actually safer in the US for kids to do these things now but due to internet info, it just seems less safe.

[@BrokenCurtain]

The Federal-Aid Highway Act was passed in 1956, it subsidised the construction of America's Interstate Highway system and marked the beginning of America's car-centric lifestyle. So yeah, if you grew up back in that time, America was still a rather normal country (in that regard).

[@berlinorama]

Growing up in a big city in the US in the 1960s I also was allowed to walk, bike or rollerskate to school or the park from the age of 6 or 7, even though I had to walk down a big, busy street.

[@caramella4220]

As a child in the distant past, 50s and 60s, growing up in an American suburb we always walked to school. There were no schoolbuses where I lived and in grade school we walked home for lunch and back again in the afternoon. I did the walk four times a day, about 20 minutes each way, and thought nothing of it. Later when my school was farther away, I sometimes took public transport. When I lived at the edge of a big city here in Germany I was surprised to see how many children were driven to their school by their parents.

[@KJ-md2wj]

@@caramella4220 It's / used to be a status thing to drive your kids to school in Germany - first usually done by people with a Mercedes.

[@MHG1023]

I think a major problem in the US is the legal system that prevents parents from giving their children more "leeway". It´s not like parents are "encouraged" to be less careful in Germany but rather allows them to act more reasonable and teach their children self reliance.

[@RustyITNerd]

Exactly that! Yes, as a parent you have the duty of supervision (german: Aufsichtspflicht), but case law (german: allgemeine Rechtsprechung) established what we in Germany call the "rule of the long leash" (german: Rechtsprechung der langen Leine). This effectively means that if your child is at an age that it could normally be able to follow a certain instruction given by you as a parent, you have fullfilled your obligation as a parent given a mental development which is considered "averagel" (sorry to point that out, but it's relevant). Example: For a two-year old child the concept of not crossing the road when the light is red is still hard to grasp, but not for a six or seven year old child. Taking the example of my child going to the bakery and crossing a pedestrian traffic light showing red when living in a more rural setting: With a two year old I would violate my duty of supervision, but not with a six year old. Even if said six year old causes an accident and/or damage, the parents are not liable. In a city environment, courts might decide differently. BUT: The point is clear that parents are protected by case law and the rest can be easily covered via insurance (e.g. family liability insurance). I had to call the insurance like two or three times until my son was about ten, but it was never an issue. This is why we as parents are pretty much relaxed when letting go of our children a bit and - to be honest - I think Europeans (not only Germans) have a significantly different mindset and approach to education in general from my personal experience. The legal standards and regulations in the U.S are quite different to that. Next to all the other points raised in other comments. Your kid is abducted and you as a parent have to worry about being liable for neglecting your child, because you didn't watch him/her all the time. If it weren't so real and sad I would really like to laugh about that. Personal opinion: But hey that happens when society in general values the individual more than the community. 🤷‍♀

[@schadelharry4048]

@@RustyITNerd The point is: If you lose your child in case of a car accident because of recklessness, you are punished socially in non-massed but cultural homogenous communities far greater in Germany than in the US. Germany develops itself away from that, reaching societal levels of the US, however. The US approach of letting the State intervene to avoid reckless adults, doesn't work, but worsenes the problem. That's why you have a dumb mass. In Germany, parents look pretty much always after their children, as it is far more conservative than the US. However, the child has to been seen as a child, not wrapped up with chunk, just to keep the child controlled as it is more often in the US. Having a nanny or letting your child consume State education is pretty much a no go besides socially awkward people.

[@FabrizioPati-i6f]

Exactly my thoughts. Sometimes it seems that the US legal system is not designed to protect minors, but to fuel the business of social services

[@andersrefstad8235]

@@FabrizioPati-i6f A n d see where they are heading :-)

[@Mahony.7730]

Man this takes me back. One of my earliest Memorys is from when i was 5 and my Mom send me to the "Weekly market" ca.500m away, to get meat or vegetables for her. This was in 2000, i only found out She was secretly following me like 3 Years ago:) Teaching young Children Independence and responsibility is so important.

[@Opa_Andre]

Ashton, side from the facts and your own opinion on this video, which I fully agree with, I just want to express how much I appreciate your hard work to make the content simply fun to watch. Whether it's self-recorded material or footage selected and assembled from other sources, it's just another level. You always have my full attention when I watch your content because you don't want to miss a single scene to get the full experience. This is just extraordinary and indescribable. Many, many thanks. ❤

[@winterlinde5395]

That’s so true!!!

[@arnodobler1096]

Absolut 👏

[@TypeAshton]

Ah wow thank you so, so much. Ashton puts a lot of effort into each of these videos, so these kind of comments mean a lot to her.

[@usbxg3474]

Great and amazing video! Thanks for uploading and thumbs up!👍I am from germany and into my 50´s now. When I went to school we used special school busses that picked us up from elementary school to drive us 7km to the next larger village with schools for 5 to 9 graders and we used them 70% of the time. But there were those 30% where the busses did not arrive on time because of hard weather conditions during the winter or school started at 9 o clock instead of 8 because teachers were sick or we had a free period so we had to walk (during winter time in the dark) by ourselves to the next train station that was 2kms away through a small forrest to get to the next train station where we entered the next train all by ourselves that took us the 5 kms to the village where our school was at. These 2 kilometers through the woods between 7 and 9 o clock in the dark winter mornings, passing an abandoned house ruin, beeing the first ones that left their footprints in the snow that fell during the night and meeting some stray cats and sometimes even a dog we fed with our butty(s) was a really great adventure for us 5th graders in the 70´s everyone of the 5 boys and 4 girls that walked down that small path through the wood still remembers till today. It learned (helped) us coping with animals, sharing food, protecting each other and the responsibility to get to that train on time when we were between 9 and 11 years old.

[@bryonyvaughn2427]

This is more the situation I experienced growing up in the US in the 1970s. The first day of school, parents would walk their kindergarteners and maybe first graders to school so they'd learn the route. There was no drop-off lane. We weren't supposed to ride bikes to school until we were in second grade (I have no idea why) but parents could write a note, generally pinned to the younger child's shirt, granting their younger child permission to ride their bike to school. Fourth graders were given the responsibility, on a rotating basis, of wearing a high-vis reflective sash and acting as crossing guards as the main intersections. When I was a kid it was the norm for kids to run around on their bikes all day in the summertime visiting friends to play at their houses/yards, going to playgrounds, and hanging out in the woods or meadows together. My mother would give me her watch to wear with instructions on what time I needed to be home. I remember riding my bike across town to do deposits for my dad's business when I was eight. I pedalled that route to go to the swimming pool and tennis lessons anyway so my parents didn't think it was a big deal. I was used to going to the bank with my dad and babysitter anyway so the procedure was familiar to me. Just this week I was driving my boss home when we passed by his grandmothers house. (He was in 1936.) He was telling me story from when he was four years old. His cousins were over to play when they got the idea to visit their grandma. Lewie put his two year old sister in the wagon and pulled her as they walked the mile and a half (2.4 km) to their grandma's house for a visit. His mother, busy with chores and an infant, had no idea they left until she got the call from Grandma. Very different times. American children had much more autonomy, responsibility, and freedom to explore.

[@loboheeler]

I was too old for kindergarten, so got thrown into 1st grade in a new school to start. Was little socialized, being an only child with only my parents. It panicked me to suddenly be in a class room with more people than I had ever seen. My mom had to come have lunch with me for a couple of weeks until I got used to it. Never had to do anything but a short walk during all of elementary school.

[@SuperPuddingcat]

The same here, growing up in the 60‘s and 70‘s, on a weekend I would get on my bike and be gone the entire day. No one knew where I was or was particularly worried about me, as long as i was home in time for dinner. I would hang out with friends in the woods, play in a nearby junkyard and sometimes come home banged up. My mom would just clean my scrapes and tell me to be more careful next time. I must have been 9 or 10 years old. When summer vacation came around it was like „see you in September, and try not to die!“

[@achimrecktenwald9671]

It's long ago - 60 years - but as a 3-year old, after my mom showed me the way to go once, I walked every day from home to Kindergarten and back, about 330 m crossing 3 busy roads. And I wasn't the only one.

[@TheDoctorIWho]

Great that you are happy here! It is obviously that you feel home and so at 7:01 a "we" identifying yourself with your local community shows that it is truly so.

[@Omicon]

When I went to elementary school in the US after taking my first class in Germany in the mid-1980s, I felt like everyone treated me like a toddler. I can confirm that Children in Germany are more self-reliant and experience greater freedoms than in the US.

[@youtubeaxel9030]

... and again... Another very well done video. Thank you for appreciating 'the german way'. 👋👍 Hope you are all doing well and you can enjoy the first weeks with your new faimily member.. Alle besten Wünsche aus der Südpfalz... 😘

[@Quotenwagnerianer]

This is gradually changing because the parents from my generation all collectively lost their minds. The amount of parents who think letting kids go to school on their own is unsafe has skyrocketed among my age peers. They say "There is too much traffic" and ignore that them driving their kids to school is exactly part of the problem. I always scratch my head and think: "What is wrong with these people? We grew up during the same years, went to the same schools, yet they turned into these overprotective big brother parents." When we went to school you were looked down upon when you were brought by your parents. Even during our final years when many of us had their drivers license you were looked at funny for coming to school in your own car. That wasn't cool, it was ludicrous, unless you lived so far away that even a car drive would take 20 minutes. Then you were excused.

[@jerbsherb4391]

I believe these same behaviors has made it easier for the government to pass health care laws that benefits the whole population. Having trust in your communities is a huge part of that.

[@TypeAshton]

I think that would be related too.

[@becconvideo]

Why should it do that?

[@antonywerner1893]

Not realy it woes a Thing the Unions wanted not a Thing of trust. Bismarck who Designed the social incurence System woes not a Person you can discribe as trustfull with the Population. It mainly woes a Thing of sugarbread and wip if you dont Start a Revolution you get social savety. And he woes right in the the frances is allreathy in historischen 5. Republik we are only in the second.

[@nhenghali1916]

That may be a part of it, but you have to remeber that the first health care laws came from 1883. Quote from Wikipedia: "Germany has the world's oldest national social health insurance system, with origins dating back to Otto von Bismarck's social legislation, which included the Health Insurance Bill of 1883, Accident Insurance Bill of 1884, and Old Age and Disability Insurance Bill of 1889."

[@joansparky4439]

It's actually the other way around.. social and wealth redistribution laws are much more prevalent (still) in European/Asian societies and thus create a much more coherent community that then naturally is on the same page where as in the US (or the UK lately, see Thatcher et. al.) where those kind of safeguards are non-existent or have been dismantled.. this then gives rise to a winner-takes-all-society with a few resource rich and powerful individuals who naturally remove ever more of those rules which in turn divides that society ever more, leading to the outcome you describe - loss of trust into the community and government to look out for all. The trust in your neighbor, your community, your government to look out for you is not there because THEY INDEED DO NOT LOOK OUT FOR YOU. In a everybody-for-himself world you will not develop this kind of trust, because you never experience it. People arming themselves, being fearful of others, not trusting their government.. is all based on rules being dismantled that would have looked out for the small guy. This is what is the difference.. but don' fret the safeguard rules that exist in Europe/Asia are being dismantled as we speak. It's in our nature to do this.. it just takes decades to get to where the US is now, while the US will have even moved further on that path. To solve this we need to change the way our societies come up with rules, especially rules that benefit a few at the cost of the rest.. as of right now *representative* democracies are unfit for the job, as each representative is personally incentivized to create such rules, rules that benefit him at the cost of the rest (and naturally the successful ones are rules where it is not obvious that this is the outcome, doh!). That is pretty much what it all boils down to. PS: and yes, such rules create inequality and are the root cause of the extremism that sweeps Europe right now (and has swept it in the past). This is nothing new.. this problem is as old as humans form societies.

[@seboost4999]

Great video, thanks! Funny enough, we are the opposite of you guys. I worked at the University Hospital in Freiburg. 5 years ago we moved from Freiburg to the mid-west. Especially our youngest daughter misses her independence and liberty dearly. No kids meeting independently in town or on the streets after school, no one riding the bike with her to school, etc. Enjoy your experiences and thanks for sharing them, they are fun to watch.

[@stephaniemiersch]

My daughter just got back from Leuven in Belgium and saw the same thing around 7:45 every morning. Here in Quebec City, Canada, we experience a kind of mix of the two ways, just because distances are greater and weather is more extreme in winter. But municipalities are really working actively at making all types of transportation accessible. Love your videos, keep 'em coming!

[@Why-D]

That was so much freedom, when I was not limited to walk, but was able to ride a bike to got 2km to my friend on my own. "Mum, I go to Wilhelm!" "Yes, bey. Be home, when the lights are on!" And then we where outside, until the light outside were switched on. And with my kids, I did the same.

[@RustyDust101]

Almost the same with me. Only it was either when the street lights are turned on, or by dinner time, whichever was earlier. Cause during the summer, street lights often didn't turn on until 9 pm / 21 Uhr. We had to be home a bit earlier, with the exception of weekends. But otherwise, totally unsupervised. My mom was probably happy to have a little time off from me. My siblings are 8 and 9 years older, so were somewhat more reliable and independent when I was still a little kid.

[@salamipitza]

you don't have freedom unless you sit in your car in a traffic jam - most muricans

[@SerbanOprescu]

The abundance of tiny little humans in this video put me on my fours with mellow. My heart melt.

[@CeciliaOConnor]

I concur with what others who grew up in the 50s/60s/70s in the USA have said. I grew up in a midwestern city in the 60s/70s. We rode our bikes or walked everywhere. It was rare to have a parent drive us. I went to the playground several blocks away by my self by age 7 and we played with not a parent in sight. I am not sure when this changed, but it was as Ashton described by the time my children came along in the 90s.

[@stephenmcnamara8318]

Best guesses - Liability - legal decisions and new laws written after certain incidents...as well as strong national panic about kidnapping and "stranger danger" after national broadcasts about such incidents. Possibly school consolidations into larger school districts - more people moving to larger properties that are further apart - some decisions for car infrastructure taking away crossings, and making 2 lane streets into 4+ lane thoroughfares, and lots of CPS type rules around what constitutes neglect. My mom is German - I grew up in 70's, 80's - the only real huge shock for her was that as 3 and 4yr olds american had a real issue with us playing at the beach naked (kids, not whole family) - as she never really thought about buying bathing suits for pre-schoolers.....that energy carried the day to more and more areas of life.

[@DisinterestedObserver]

Hello, Dr. Ashton, yet another thought provoking episode. Thank you for producing it and letting Jack star in it. Yes, lots of us that grew up in the US at that time experienced a very different childhood. Some kids in my old neighbor still walk to school but they have paid crosswalk monitors in place of other slightly older students with AAA (yes, the auto club) badges doing that when I grew up. Newer towns without walkable neighborhoods that are so spread out and with schools not so much enticed the change. However, I believe it was, dare I say it, the entry of most mothers into the work force that was the game changer. No longer were neighborhoods filled with lots of watchful eyes observing kids traversing the neighborhood and the “it takes a village” ethos faded increasing the perceived danger until everybody is driving to and from activities. As others mentioned, CPS rules resulting in parental fitness investigations for allowing pre-teenagers to walk alone and class action injury lawyers looking for deep pockets like playground equipment manufacturers (or their insurance carriers) to sue certainly didn’t help either.

[@frerkshow9874]

Also interesting for another video maybe; there are also the bauspielplätze (construction playgrounds) there kids can go alone (at least one adult employer is always there) and learn to work with wood an metal. They build tree houses together and learn the use of all kind of tools. I think this is really neat.

[@TypeAshton]

That sounds AWESOME. I need to look for one of those in the future. This sounds right up Jack's alley.

[@frerkshow9874]

@@TypeAshton hope they are also a thing in the south. Here in Hamburg there is one in many parts of the city.

[@pfalzgraf7527]

I am a bit overwhelmed by the amount of positive energy in the video. Generally I would say, you're right, and perhaps it is so overwhelming in comparison to the US. However, for every point you make, a caveat pops into my mind. Still: there certainly is that sense, carried by a majority of people, that we all are trying to make sure that children - and even adults throughout their lives - can trust in society to try to accomodate their needs as much as possible. And yes, there are laws that make sure all this works well. I am also glad that our courts have not adopted the idea from America that you can sue (and get high compensatory sums) for things like too hot coffee ... or a lost child's tooth at a playground. There simply is a measure of common sense you have to exercise by yourself. May it stay that way!

[@michaelgrabner8977]

Risks can be taken because when a kid is breaking an arm and a leg (which obviously can happen) doesn´t then cost an arm and a leg at the hospital.

[@jozef_chocholacek]

Good point, too!

[@jozef_chocholacek]

In Switzerland, kids as young as 4 are encouraged to walk to Kita on their own, without (visible) parental supervision, even if they have to cross a few frequent streets on the way. Well, the "warte, luege, loose - laufe" (wait, look, hear - and then go) rule is among the first things they learn in the Kindergarten. I only drive our son to his Unihockey trainings, because as a goalie, he has a lot of equipment.

[@joansparky4439]

_" "warte, luege, loose - laufe""_ You sure on the 2nd and 3rd word there? I'd had expected (German native here, I left at age 30 for Oz) "Warte, Schau, Hoer - Geh" ..? Und wegen dem Torwaerter-gear.. gibts da keinen Locker/Raum wo man ne Kiste mit den Sachen unterbringen kann, so dass dein Sohneman auch ein bissl mehr Freiheit erlernen kann ;-)

[@jozef_chocholacek]

@@joansparky4439 Schwyzrdütsch, my friend 😂 (actually, Baselbieterdütsch in this case)

[@joansparky4439]

​ @ jozefchocholacek6349 Ah, die paralllen zwischen Schweizerisch und Deutsch sind wirklich nicht da manchmal, frag mich dann immer wo dass dann herkommt. Anyhow, thx for the feedback, much appreciated.

[@elan007]

I happened upon your video by accident... but I'm glad I did. What a beautiful family and story you have to share. Thank you so much! Really lovely and inspiring. It gives me hope that our world has not gone completely mad! 🙃🙂 ❤

Not Germany, but Sweden. And yeah, we (kids) were always out by ourselves or at least without parents hovering, I rode my bike to school etc. I remember that strangers could approach if I was about to do something stupid (like kids do) and tell me it was dangerous or inappropriate. It has just seemed very natural that everyone has been looking out for each other. We had a lot of freedom to "test our wings", but it always felt safe that there would be an adult nearby, even if it wasn't necessarily mum or dad. I even took the long distance train with a friend and the age of 13, to amusement park Liseberg in Gothemburg and we were there all day riding roller coasters and whatnot - without our parents. And this was before cellphones mind you, so we would just go to a phone booth and call them up a couple of times. Then we took the train back home in the evening. Amazing! ☺

[@__beer__]

In Australia growing up as a kid in tge 90s i rode my bike everywhere, and to school from a very young age

[@NormanF62]

When I was a child in America, I was expected to walk to and from school every day. No parental supervision and I could go outside snd do anything I wanted for hours at s time. I even managed to walk home in the dead of night after losing sight of the parents. So much freedom and responsibility! I have no regrets. 😊

[@MaidLucy]

I remember when my mom practiced the bus route to school with me. Good old times.

[@DavidHernandez-oc1oz]

Excellent video. I can relate to this as the child of a German mother. When I visited Germany as a child, you definitely felt more of a sense of community responsibility in regards to children and setting a good example and the importance of following the rules was definitely impressed on you. I observed that German children my age seemed to have more independence than I had in the US.

[@endymion2001]

When I was 12 or 13, that was in the 70ies and we were living in Vienna, Austria, my best friend and I were dropped off in Melk, Austria, from where we started on a hike to Passau with just our backpacks. Thats about 150 km hiking along the Danube river. Our mums were dubious and surely a little afraid but my father and my friends father both decided it would be good for us. And it was. We asked farmers if we could spend the night in sheds where they stored their hay, we made our daily journey travel plans, organized our food, suffered heat and thirst, worked through disagreements and enjoyed reaching the top of Burg Aggstein in the beautiful Wachau. After 4 days I got some kind of stomach flu and ended up in a hospital, where my father picked us up. To be honest, I am not sure if this would work today. But I am sure, that it helped me learn about organizing myself, persevering, reaching goals, learning to ask for and depend on help from strangers and even in failure to realize, that this is not the end of the world and that at a very young age. It is sad, that this „learning how to live“ is threatened more today than it was back then. And looking back at rearing our own kids (we have 4) we were much more relaxed back then than parents in Germany seem to be today, but that might just be me being prejudiced. Thanks for sharing your story!

[@foobar9220]

Thanks a lot for that video. I think the most important part here really is the parenting style and that it is acceptable to give your kids more freedom. Southern Germany is not everywhere like Freiburg and in rural areas we actually have dedicated school buses (all the transit that exists there). However, they are not painted yellow with flashing STOP signs and they do not stop directly at your driveway. Children are supposed to go to and from the bus stop of their village by themselves after a few weeks. Something I am really looking forward, is the Kindergarten bus. Yes, at some places you bring your 3 year old to the bus stop and they will be brought to the Kindergarten. However, we should not take that for granted. The slope of liability and "adequate supervision" is a slippery one. It is always a lot easier to say that parents should have been more attentive than defending children's independence. It requires everyone to defend children's independence, especially those people without them.

[@OMK8744]

"If you love something, set it free! If it comes back, it’s yours. If it doesn’t, it never was".

[@KeesBoons]

Ashton, Jonathan, appreciate this, as always, well made video. This one hits a special note, as I think this to be a major topic. I think in general the situation here in the Netherlands is comparable with Germany, but over the years I've seen more helicoptering taking place. Parents taking their kids to school in their "giant" SUVs and endangering all children as a result happens way more than in the past. In my village the traffic has declined over the years, due to discouraging measurements of the local government and a sort of ring road being constructed, and still some of the parents think it's not save anymore to just let the children go to school on their own. Fortunately I do see the awareness rising. I hope the situation in the US of A will improve and I think there are some positive signs at least in some cities/regions. For me this is a serious threat for the future of our children and countries. As always, thank you on this Sunday morning.

[@Gittas-tube]

Hello there! All that you mention here also holds true for Finland. Also, mothers or fathers with baby carriages ride without having to pay in public transportation like buses or trams, local trains etc. Finland and the other Nordic countries are considered child-friendly in many aspects. You have probably heard of the Finnish baby box? Or the Finnish educational system? One important factor that allows the kids to ride a bus, bike or walk to school or just to be outside in the city, in parks and so on, is that the society is SAFE. Nobody is afraid that their child could be kidnapped, for instance. And why is that? Because there are no street crimes by destitute and desperate people, or that huge gap between the rich and the poor that the U.S. has, between the haves and the havenots. And no safety nets worth mentioning in the States in comparison with those in Europe. Btw, I just found your channel and promptly subscribed! You're doing an excellent job and have time to give interesting details about the topics that you choose, as well. Thank you so much! 🌹

[@TypeAshton]

So glad to hear that you are enjoying the content! Thank you for sharing your experience from Finland!

[@cellevangiel5973]

I live in a village and at school time the speed limit is 30 km/h. There are voluntair traffic guard who stop the traffic when children cross. And nobody blows his horn. When I see children on the street I slow down and the others do as well. That is the key. And if a child in a bus would have some trouble, there will be grownups to take care of it. Would they in the USA or look away? In a supermarket I found a child that was lost. I talked to him and picked him up so he could look for his father. So a grownup picking up a child. Here I can do that, I would not in the USA.

[@wranglerboi]

@Celle Van Giel -- I am glad to hear that that is true for your school. Our local school is right across the street from where I live. When children are present, flashing lights are illuminated at each end of the "school zone", large signs remind drivers the speed limit is 15 mph, and there is even a crossing guard who wears a fluorescent orange jacket (with lights for in the winter when it's already dark)--and even then I see cars going through the area at 30-40 mph. The police have been contacted many times about the problem, will come out for a day, and then not show up again until someone calls them again. I'm amazed that (so far) no child has been hit.

[@cellevangiel5973]

​@@wranglerboi It all starts with the drivers. People just stop when children are crossing. The guards are there to collect the children so they are not crossing all the time. It works well since many years. And the children get traffic training at the school so they know what and how. And luckily we have plenty of volunteers.

[@reginaldcattermole7602]

i wish my kids could go to school (separate - high and elementary) by themselves. it takes an hour in the morning and an hour afternoon. 3 gallons of gas daily just for schools and need for a second car. sports and tutoring one weekday and saturdays, and music lesson for one on sundays and a weekday. two parents with cars constantly on the drive. meanwhile thanks to remote work, i take my work to a library or starbucks and wait a few hours - trying to concentrate..

[@cellevangiel5973]

@@reginaldcattermole7602 I am from Belgium and every village up here has a primary school, so from 4 to 12 years old. That is nearby and a lot of children come on their bike. Secondary schools, 3 of them are also nearby and there are buses picking them up. But they are also on a biking distance, less than 10 Km.. So the total picture might be different.

[@laurie7689]

Yep, not in the USA.

[@AaronHuffmanPerson]

Listening to this video makes me feel like I was raised similarly in the US. From 2nd grade on, I ride my bicycle to school everyday or wherever I wanted to go. I was and am prideful on my independence! I'm grateful of the many liberties I was given by my parents to do what I wanted to do on my own!

[@michaelkloters3454]

Hallo ashton, wie immer schaffst du es einen über dinge nachdenken zu lassen die man (viel zu oft) als selbstverständlich betrachtet. und das ausserdem auf eine unterhaltsame art und weise; kurz : es macht einfach spass deine videos zu schauen und ist schon längst zu meiner festen sonntagsmorgenroutine geworden! trotzdem hätte ich gerne mehr gewußt wie du dich erholst nach theos geburt und wie`s dem kleinen mann und seinem großen bruder geht. ausserdem möchte ich nochmal meine bewunderung für jonathan aussprechen, der all das drumherum mit einer solch heldenhaften gelassenheit managed. und nebenbei: du siehst glücklich aus und besser kanns nicht sein! beste wünsche von Michael/Hannover Hi ashton, as always you manage to make you think about things you (far too often) take for granted. and also in an entertaining way; in short: it's just fun to watch your videos and has long since become my regular sunday morning routine! nevertheless i would have liked to know more about how you are recovering after theo's birth and how the little man and his big brother are doing. I would also like to once again express my admiration for jonathan, who manages everything around him with such heroic composure. and by the way: you look happy and it can't be better! Best wishes from Michael/Hanover

[@TypeAshton]

Hallo Michael, uns geht es gut. Ashton ist ein großartiger „Planer“ und hat vor Theos Geburt eine ganze Reihe von Videos gedreht und geschnitten. Obwohl wir sie weiterhin etwa alle zwei Wochen aufteilen werden, kann sie auf diese Weise einen langen Mutterschaftsurlaub nehmen und muss sich keine Sorgen um KZbin machen. Aber inzwischen geht es ihr und Theo gut. Theo ist... ein Neugeborener... also würde ich sagen, dass manche Nächte „einfacher“ sind als andere. Aber im Großen und Ganzen gewöhnen wir uns alle gut. Ich freue mich, dass ich mir auch etwas Zeit von der Arbeit nehmen kann, um ihr im Haushalt zu helfen und mehr Einzelzeit mit Jack zu verbringen, damit er sich auch gut betreut fühlt.

[@michaelkloters3454]

@@TypeAshton hey jonathan ,danke für die antwort! schön zu hören das es euch gut geht! dann wünsche ich euch allen eine tolle zeit zusammen. und macht euch bloß nicht verrückt wegen youtube - so schön es ist, aber für euch gibt es absolut wichtigeres! Michael/Hannover

[@janheinbokel3969]

Thank you, thank you, thank you! It's really thrilling to hear how you praise certain aspects of German everyday Routine, especially public Transport

[@angr8799]

Thx for this great video again! Honestly as a German father with 2 kids I think that you see things like e.g. parent taxis a bit too positive. Maybe in Freiburg it is different, but even in our rual area we live in,we have far too many parents bringing their kids close to school every morning. Even though the distances in our small town (or bigger village,as you like) are very small. I think we tend to follow the American way here again. Keep up with your great vlog and I hope that you all 4 are fine and can enjoy the upcoming summer!

[@oliverw.douglas285]

Coming from a German-Swiss family, grow-up in the Midwest, I find your videos very insightful. Thank you for sharing your experiences with all of us. :)

[@Ribberflavenous]

I am 62 in the US Midwest suburbs. I remember a time when I was maybe 9 or 10 where I would leave the house and play all day, coming home for meals and my parents were for the most part unaware of where I was. I will grant I was in a very safe suburban area that bordered on rural, so there were not the threats that come with a dense cityscape. I think that lead to a more independent and self reliant way of thinking. Now the environment being fostered un the US is fear instead of trust, and I am susceptible to the local zeitgeist as anyone - the first thought in my head when I watch that young child walking alone is 'A PEDOPHILE WILL GET THEM!!!' I don't have young kids to raise anymore, but just a couple decades ago I did consciously work toward providing my 3 kids age appropriate spaces to mess up and have consequences - it was scary and they got boo-boos that they learned from. More importantly, they got scared sometimes and developed skills to work with stress and anxiety. I don't think what I experienced, and even my children's childhood is possible currently because of a seeming requirement to provide risk-sterile environments for children and treat every contact and situation as a threat. I really feel that parents of young children today have to not only worry about the boogie-man but also Child Protection authorities where horror stories abound as well. I do wonder what contribution of the no-win situation of constant fear makes to the depression you noted, and I am convinced that it has a great deal to do with couples choosing not to have children (I can't blame them in the least). I have lots of questions and concerns, but very few answers.

[@TypeAshton]

I recently watched a docu-series which discussed how the "stranger danger" and fear of abduction that was so prevalent in American media in the 80's and 90's has affected the "perception" of crime and changed how we raise our kids - despite the fact that abductions are incredibly rare and have been decreasing for decades. Extremely fascinating (although also concerning).

[@lethfuil]

My great uncle (he's the brother of my grandmother) lives in the US. For 50+ years now (originally he's from Bavaria). Has a family, rose a kid there. So, I'm not only talking about what I see in the media. And I must say I... honestly feel bad for so many US Americans. It's horrible, it's SAD. Last time I visited was with my husband and my cousin and his wife and kids, who are around the same age (the kids and age ~7-10) as his grandchild. I saw the huge difference between the kids. His grandson is such a sweet, sweet child, very open and grateful and just a great kid! BUT when it came to independency, self-trust, problem solving etc, he lacked in comparison. My cousins bavarian children, in a foreign area, in a foreign country, with a foreign language they can't yet speak, they would go on adventures (mind you, my great uncles family lives in a very save area, Georgia in an upper middle class suburban, bordering rural area), visit local shops etc. Mindful, but unfearfull. His grandson was happily invited (being the interesting, exotic and sweet kid) but was noticeably not used to the freedom and independency of the others. At one point, his mother even couldn't allow him to go with the others, because she didn't want to get in trouble. And sure enough, my cousin had to talk to the police(!) about how the kids can't do that, because it's dangerous (it was walking from a playground a bit further away, alongside a field, in the evening). Luckily we don't have to be afraid of US officials (they obviously can't take away not US citizen children from their not US citizen parents), but it was shocking to see what US parents might have to face.

[@ChrisPollitt]

I grew up in Canada during the 70s and 80s and never took a school bus or car to school. Walk, bike, public transit were my methods and it was great!

[@milanmach2379]

Clearly, it's a bit of a feedback loop in the US: kids look forward to being 16 so they can finally get a car and be free to go wherever they want, so then there's more cars and people conditioned to see cars as a priority which means more support for car infrastructure that makes kids dependant on the parent taxi service and look forward to having a car of their own.

[@TypeAshton]

ABSOLUTELY. You "hit the nail on the head".

[@sakutaro3musik486]

I think this is by Design and the car industry tries to push this narrative in Germany as well. But here are much more People that want Public Transport and fight for it then in the US

[@Llortnerof]

@@sakutaro3musik486 It's also that the narrative simply doesn't make sense in the much denser German cities. Suburbias are an integral part of the system.

[@bjolinabszern9087]

In germany even when it comes to the point whether children want to go for a drivers license they tend to opt-out because of climate reasons but they could basicly argue this way because they have a good sense for public transportation and cycle infrastructure so they know how to get from a to b without a car. That is of course not that strong in rural areas, but still present there as well.

[@jenniferdaniels701]

@@bjolinabszern9087 How do kids in rural areas get to school? I'm in rural Wisconsin, and can't imagine kids riding bikes 7-8 miles, especially in the winter when the days are shorter and below freezing, then there's sports/ drama practices, clubs after school, work for the teens. We need the buses here. Do you just take a bike to a rural pick up point?

[@darrenbloomfield8296]

I was taken to school on my first day in England, after that I walked, that was 2 weeks before my 5th birthday.

[@darkredvan]

Though several decades ago, me and my siblings (and neighbours‘ kids of course) went to school by foot on our own. At about six or seven years old (depending in which month you were born). My mother went with me exactly two times to school (back I had to find my way on my own). Distance to school from home was about 1 - 1 1/2 mile, 1/2 mile up a steep inclune. It was fun being alone with your mates. I would not love to have missed it. Great times long gone.

[@darkredvan]

Just an add: On my way to school there was a stairway. When going home, there were first 10 steps, followed by 5 platforms with 3 steps connecting each of them. I do not renember when I started, but I must have been about 8 years old. Running down on the platforms we then jumped downwards to the next platform over the 3 steps. It was fun, and much faster, tricky in winter though with ice and snow. We never told my mother, when I came home with scratched knees, I simply told her I fell. 😂

[@josephtangredi6728]

Great video as always. You have one of the best researched, written and presented channels on KZbin.

[@conniebruckner8190]

When our daughter started gymnasium (she was 11) we took turns to accompany her there the first few times so she would learn the way to go, 35 minutes travel there by U-bahn, (underground) switching to a streetcar, but also taught her some alternate routes, in case there was a hitch with one of the routes to her school. Luckily cell phones were available by then, and she got her father's older model in case something changed or went wrong. (and sometimes it did). Classes got cancelled, school let out earlier, so she had a key to get in if no one was home, but she also could go to some of our neighbours. She went on her own to violin practice (30 minutes, changing bus lines) 3 times a week, and later to choir and other such activities. Her father rode his bike to school (2 km.) at 10 and to soccer practice and other after school activities. He always had change in his school bag to be able to make a phone call home. He tells me playgrounds have gotten a lot safer and more interesting in the past 30 years.

[@cseatul]

I think lot of appreciation comes because you guys adapted and embraced these lifestyle changes with open arms. Many foreigners would find exact same thing as burden due to their opaque view on how things can be done differently. Loved the content as always.

[@rolandvanravenstein]

Hi Ashton, I’ve never seen a video that explained this topic as well as you did. It really paints the full picture. (Ps I hope you and your newborn are doing well.)

[@TypeAshton]

Thank you so much! We are all doing great and adjusting well to life as a family of four.

[@nigelgunn_W8IFF]

You're absolutely correct and your children are going to grow up better people because of it.