U.S. Officials Question Putin's Sanity, Biden Gets Heckled: Late Night's News of the Week

All the news and jokes you missed from the week of February 28.
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U.S. Officials Question Putin's Sanity, Biden Gets Heckled: Late Night's News of the Week - Late Night with Seth Meyers
• U.S. Officials Questio...
Late Night with Seth Meyers
/ latenightseth

[@canucklehead1937]

Imagine it being illegal to acknowledge the existence of a particular group of people for no other reason than how they were born. Way to go Florida.

[@elphieofkiamoko]

That Congress Karen joke was criminally underrated 🤣

[@ForeverMe543]

Seth heckling the audience is my favorite thing but him saying "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU" killed me 💀

[@glight31976]

I literally was about to post that! he is so funny. national treasure. :)

[@davidbrown8546]

I'm marking National Pig Day in my calendar for next year's show

[@zezmerelda240]

hello

[@stuckn.derplahoma562]

@Hai Boai no trollshite zone.

[@edeledeledel5490]

@Hai Boai Stop wasting my time.

[@NewMessage]

"I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones" -Albert Einstein.

[@nessa2481]

Wow

[@TheDarkness1]

Because they might break bones, but words should never hurt you. If they do, seek therapy.

[@Diamerald]

@@TheDarkness1 WOW are you out of touch.

[@TheDarkness1]

@@DiameraldYour momma isn't out of touch. She's giving it out for free.

[@trevorgarrett7602]

Einstein was inferring (obviously) that after World War III, due to nuclear weapons, there would be nothing left but sticks and stones.

[@ajzekind]

Correction: Slurpee the Rat is not the best they can do in Florida. That would be Methy the Gator.

[@mcgremi5769]

The jokes this week were top notch 👏🏻

[@eluminaryxarrais7735]

2:20. I was in high school in the 90s in South Carolina they had a thing here where they weren't allowed to talk about gay issues in sex Ed. The funny thing is the teachers we had at our school did it anyway, but did it by the way of explaining in great detail of exactly what they're not allowed to legally talk about and then asked if we had any questions about the details of what they weren't allowed to talk about just so everyone was perfectly clear on things that they were not allowed to talk about going forward.

[@lindseyhendrix2405]

I love this!

[@marymcmahon659]

brilliant!

[@Wfj0193]

The American people will never forget that William(the Buffalo) Barr was the lead blocker in the Republican Party’s version of the Green Bay Packer sweep.

[@mercedesgomez8258]

Ukraine 🇺🇦 love from Texas

[@angelamaryquitecontrary4609]

And England!

[@alex35agm]

Those students were wearing masks because they were standing behind him and what comes out of his mouth also comes out the other end.

[@michaelrmurphy2734]

Boycott Florida tourism. I'm NOT going to Disneyland while he is in office!

[@joedirtjr5375]

Swamp gas from DeFunktos a** is lethal.

[@cc1k435]

Putin doesn't have an Iron Man suit, so much as an Iron Curtain. 😕

[@alexandralibin5131]

Pigs are as intelligent as chimpanzees. Due to the fact that pigs do not have sweat glands, they cool off by rolling in mud, which caused pigs to be labeled as 'unclean'. Says something about labels.

[@notbraindead7298]

Does this have anything to do with Putin?

[@sageohio1864]

the manager joke was funny

[@marvinmartion1178]

Zelinski is a leader among leaders!

[@andybaldman]

He'll be dead in a week.

[@jamiemclennan5826]

@@andybaldman let's hope not

[@catherinemacaskill1421]

andy if that were to happen, the people of Ukraine would have lost an amazing leader.

[@christopherapel1670]

The only thing harder to defeat than a courageous leader is a dead martyr .

[@peterg5383]

@@andybaldman: not sure what your point is, little buddy. did you have a point you wanted to make?

[@DrNancyLivingCoCreatively]

Seth, you're the best. 🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻

[@gbphil]

We need to move to the next stage. Rather than freezing Russian accounts, we need to make it more graphic by funding a Ukraine rebuilding and re-armament fund and once, twice or three times a day, announce that due to the destruction of x,y,z properties, $100m to $5bn has been transferred from the Central Bank of Russia to this rebuilding fund so the Oligarchs and Russia leaders can see their money being dwindled away / dispersed on a daily basis, never to be seen again.

[@alex35agm]

The one movie line no one wants to hear from Trump is "I'll be back".The line that does apply to him though is "You can't handle the truth".

[@Grappapappa]

I thought it was "Lassie!!!"

[@takkieterror5152]

Oh man..that confidence joke made me spill coffee. Geez..thanks Seth👍

[@biggtrux]

Saw an old white dude walking thru Kroger today with a "Let's Go Brandon" t-shirt on. I just looked at him and laughed.

[@mariegarside8830]

Point and laugh. Great move

[@Diamerald]

That drives tRumpsters nutz.

[@jankuchel7]

I still don’t get it

[@michaelhughes9278]

Isn't that a pro- LGBT movement slogan?

[@nadyasiapin6651]

@@michaelhughes9278 that's what I thought!

[@koretmulder6316]

Really, a strong tactic for the Ukraine resistance would be to just produce an absolute sload of free vodka and tell the Russian soldiers, "Here, now come inside. It's warmer in here, and they won't find you".

[@JohnDavid-kc9kt]

In case you don't get the manager joke... he was calling MTG and Boebert Karens... I love good jokes that the crowd doesn't get 😁

[@caliscribe2120]

You can't put the world's cutest picture of a pig and then berate the audience for enthusiastically clapping for National Pig Day.

[@jacklondon8385]

Joe Manchin is really Grandpa Munster

[@emjayay]

I knew he kept reminding me of someone!

[@KendlickLama]

That 10:45 joke did it for me😂

[@KayentaRojo]

The last part had me dying 😂😂😂😂

[@geraldmiller5260]

Barr...too little too late.

[@maxnicks4661]

...this is an insane move by an insane madman... if we are judged by the people that we admire - this would be an obvious exclamation point on the sanity of the former president.

[@TheDarkness1]

Yup.... Ode to Trump Ignorance, anger, intolerance, and greed That's what's required for you to succeed Step on people, talk behind their back Make up stories to keep your ego in tact Money and power, it's all the same Keep screwing people over to win your sick game Yell, scream, instill fear, and be snide It still won't fix your loneliness inside The fear you feel when you are figured out Starts crazy making and leaves you in doubt The cycle repeats and starts over again Leaving a wake of destruction from your sins Lie, cheat, steal, and defame The world is about to implode from your game Keep playing it, you won't survive The real chosen one will eat you alive The Insanity and delusions you keep spreading Will not protect the insecurities from deadening Keep wearing your mask and spreading your strife I "almost" feel sorry for your kids and your wife Even members of Q have figured it out. Soon your base will have no doubt So many questions you need to ask When you are trembling in the fear of your past Save your own ass but let everyone die No one else matters in your simple mind Man, woman, person, camera, TV The extent of your vocabulary Keep wearing your diapers and letting out turds But we all know you have the best words The best diarrhea comes from your mouth No doubt your niece has figured you out Psychopaths lack accountability I guess that's what you strive to be Projection, sedition, and mass confusion This is life in the Trump delusion

[@mitcharett2586]

Are you assessing the misfiring mind of the current one, now that many are talking about WWIIl on HIS WATCH? Focus on the grandpa wielding power now!

[@mitcharett2586]

@@TheDarkness1 I see elements of Joe Biden in your words. Can you name any of the good things that were accomplished during the Trump Administration, or does your hatred for a man you've never met blind you to them?

[@TheDarkness1]

@@mitcharett2586 You have no clue what I see. Word from the wise is you should sit down before you are embarrassed. Fair warning.

[@TheDarkness1]

@@mitcharett2586 Yeah, more his administration kept him out golfing, the less they had to deal with him. They did something positive.

[@cletcher]

I love the posh New Yorker impression. ❤

[@miket4560]

Ur killing me man....... with comedy. Thank you. 🇨🇦

[@dangervybz7522]

The funny thing is I don’t think some people understood that you’re supposed to clap on the 2’s and 4’s in Hip Hop and that’s what made that funny 😂😂😂

[@FakeChicana]

As a Floridian who moved from New York... Yes.

[@TeamBTC17]

Team Seth you guys are a tonic I just love the way you listened to us when we told you how much we loved the less formal shows during lockdown. I think you are all amazing especially Wally 😂 sorry Seth but it’s #Wally2024 all the way baby 💙

[@dale60035]

Ah the Republican Queens of crazy, Lauren and Marjorie, have arrive in a session of Congress just in time to make fools of themselves. Nice going "Ladies" of the Night.

[@servraghgiorsal7382]

One more in their coven and they would be the Witches of Washington.🤔🤔😀😀😀

[@duaneanderson6393]

SETH you did it again ,you have me chortling under my breath and listening with the amused smirk of the cynical on my face. to bad the Ukrainian people don't have the 12,500 kilometers buffer zone that people laughing have in STATEN ISLAND have from war in Ukraine. Thank You for not making Ukrainian jokes. Not everyone in the media has your style and grace. a fan of corrections and the use of the term jakels .

[@ferox965]

It's a preview of what the US will look like if Trump is back in office. Or any of the modern GOP.

[@Wildstar40]

Trump will never hold office again he is a communist sympathizer, supporter and lap dog.

[@mitcharett2586]

Hillary, is this really you? :)

[@mitcharett2586]

@@Wildstar40 Biden's the one that greenlighted Russia's Nordstar 2 pipeline, which Trump denied them. Trump bombed Syria, Russia's ally. Before Putin's attack of Afghanistan, Trump gave them Javelin missiles, Biden said no to their request for SAM missles. If anyone's a Commie sympathizer, it's Biden. Also, on who's watch did Putin invade? Biden's not Trumps.

[@Kenny_K2323]

@@mitcharett2586 RIGHT! And just WHY do you think that is???? Because he’s NOT working WITH Putin. Be a republican ALL YOU WANT Bro, kewl!!! But Trump, is a criminal who doesn’t give ONE F about you. Or anyone else…. Who’s not making HIM money or power. NOT a role model.

[@notbraindead7298]

@@mitcharett2586 Donald is this really you?

[@caliscribe2120]

I'm old enough and have gone to enough classical music concerts (I blame my wife) to know that Chuck Shumer looks like the concert goers who clap between movements and not at the end of the symphony. It's not funny because it's true.

[@michaelrmurphy2734]

The constant jumping up and down to clap was a bit much in an hour long speech. Leave it all till the end, OK?

[@ryanx9372]

Lolz... yes. Just wait till the end ;)

[@smartaMartini]

"What is wrong with you?" 😂

[@papwithanhatchet902]

Trump’s top five priority list: Himself, himself, his ratings, golf, Ivanka.

[@stefanhoimes]

@Mr. chicano meth. Definitely meth.

[@notbraindead7298]

You’ve overrated golf and I vanka

[@Jenahh-aye]

McDonald's and snorting pills.

[@obihave3210]

@Mr. chicano who needs cocaine with his adderall addiction

[@jrdonaldson2053]

Love Seth Myers. GREAT SHOW

[@user-di6cn2ne7u]

Should really have been "Italy and Ireland have declared war on america" 😂

[@amberspanish11]

Oh good, Seth Pacino is now taunting the audience just like the crew. Love

[@monicawrobel2202]

Florida doesn't have subways, Seth.

[@SuperLeica1]

Once the ice melts, it'll become a subway!

[@BogeyTheBear]

The sinkholes are simply Nature's subway stations.

[@Rusty-Shackleford69]

@@SuperLeica1 just super low iq ppl lol

[@duncansonoryan]

Am I the only one hearing Seth say "Voldimir" instead of "Volodimir"? I keep thinking he's talking about some new Harry Potter book.

[@dinasilva9263]

This show is amazing. 👏👏

[@zoltore23]

I support Ukraine. May God help them.

[@michaelrmurphy2734]

Its not as if America is...

[@Rusty-Shackleford69]

@@michaelrmurphy2734 nope, not our prob Bob lol🤪

[@trevorgarrett7602]

If he could, he would! Lol

[@lylegardner7260]

Have to go with the democracy over the oligarchy.

[@notbraindead7298]

Humanity is God’s hands on earth.

[@kittyschooley]

I guess you have to have an iPhone to understand the "green" message joke.

[@staghornthedruid957]

i look forward to this mashup every week

[@thomasridley8675]

National pig day ? So now FOX wants their own holiday ?!?!? 😁

[@alex35agm]

Don't they already celebrate P.T.Barnum's birthday?I mean they're all clowns and support a clown.

[@thomasridley8675]

@@alex35agm 👍😁

[@BogeyTheBear]

June 14

[@thomasridley8675]

@@BogeyTheBear 😁

[@Rusty-Shackleford69]

@@thomasridley8675 Rosie O'Donnell does🤪

[@WonderLady]

The pandemic isn’t over. Dropping mask mandates is stupid

[@trevorgarrett7602]

The unvaccinated had their chance. It’s been a pandemic of the unvaccinated & ignorant for awhile. We can always put them back on. Hopefully smart people 25% of the population will wear masks in public going forward whenever they feel sick. Like we have seen in Japan for decades.

[@DeepThought420]

I can't be the only one that feels we should be helping Ukraine can I?

[@BoojumFed]

It's a hard pill to swallow, but here's the best coating I've found: kzbin.info/www/bejne/qYHdgmR6rqyNftU

[@janettripper3132]

We are.

[@WarblesOnALot]

G'day, What part of shipping in tens of thousands of high-tech Anti-Tank, Anti-Helicopter and Anti-Jet Attack Missiles, single-shot Fire and Forget magic disposable Death Rays, at $22,000 per shot...; is it that you consided to be "not helping"? All those brewed-up Tanks and crashed Jets and Heligoflopters and burnt out Trucks and Personel Carriers didn't succumb to Molotov Cocktails and Grannies with clapped-out Kalashnikovs, y'know. If NATO shoots NATO Ammunition at Russians, then Russia has an "excuse" to try a surprise First Strike and bank on emerging in better condition afterwards than NATO Countries. When Russia cleaned and repainted it's Fallout Shelters this past 5 years, Finland and Switzerland then both did the same - but they're not in NATO. So, as it is, Ukrainians get to shoot free NATO Ammunition at Russians, and Putin is painting himself as an ever more insane caricature of a bad Hitler Movie... Such is life, Have a good one... Stay safe. ;-p Ciao !

[@user-di6cn2ne7u]

Yep. 8 billion people and you're the only one who thinks countries should be helping Ukraine.

[@trevorgarrett7602]

Nope that’s why we are. Watch the news, watch the State of the Union, read. It’s been covered. Lol

[@markgigiel2722]

That JetBlue story was actually pretty scary. Drunk pilots are a very bad idea.

[@Teaganbear]

The "text messages being green" part got me good hahaha

[@joshbgosh6200]

'National Pig Day' is swiftly becoming my favorite holiday now.

[@Teaganbear]

THE BIT WHERE HE GOT MAD ABOUT THE CROWD'S REACTION TO NATIONAL PIG DAY IS AMAZING AHAHA

[@TheSteveBoyd]

I thought he said "Uranian". Was worried Putin was attacking Uranus.

[@EllyValentini]

Putin might be more successful in invading Hogwarts than Voldy…

[@Marijuanifornia]

Putin is weak and this fiasco proved it. Russia can't even overwhelm the USSR's former satellite countries, so Putin definitely doesn't have the power to strike at western Europe. This is why Putin has to resort to tough talk and duping rubes with memes on Facebook.

[@EllyValentini]

@@Marijuanifornia Agree 100% He will fall and the world will laugh at his misery 🇺🇦💙💛

[@vvMathematicalvv]

I laughed at the manager joke lol

[@sophiathekitty]

"what did i get you for father's day? well i bought myself these fancy tools you're welcome to use as long as i live here...."

[@deux2tango52]

Q

[@adamkalb1]

11:33-11:41 I was surprised to find out Amazon even had its own physical bookstores in the first place. March 10, 2022, 5:27pm

[@migmit]

Missed opportunity: the "I never used utensils in my life" line should've been accompanied by the famous picture of T**** eating a burger with a knife and a fork.

[@migmit]

@bassrck4 Neither, it turns out: it was KFC.

[@NeovanGoth]

The pause at the manager joke was just absolut perfect timing. :D

[@danvannelli6135]

The jokes this week were top notch

[@georgeradcliffe7511]

Tim Cook ? Should be Tim Apple 🍎 lol

[@piafunesbakker5095]

Awesome Mr. Seth and all . 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

[@cyndibailey1267]

that 1s and 3s joke was highly underrated. Its so funny omggg XD

[@roguewolf7053]

Jokes were awesome in this segment!! So…New York is joining New Orleans with togo alcohol. Love the drive thru daiquiri shops in New Orleans! But I can’t help but wonder how long/big the learning curb will be in New York with this. However…since the vast majority of people in New York dont drive themselves anywhere within the city anyway…it may go smoothly! 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@jankuchel7]

It’s the cute pig they reacted to

[@mybluejay]

Thanks Seth!

[@SusiFroggyPorter]

lol that's funny. I didn't have bacon today but I bought some bacon today and will eat it tomorrow with my Bloody Mary.

[@brookiebarker-troutt3998]

Tim Apple 😂😂😂😂 LMFAO. Remember guys?? Tim Apple? 😻

[@coryryder9070]

it was pretty bad ass statement that puts putins pictures no shirt to shame

[@anne-mariekaterivartti1822]

Besides Insanity, Putin acts like an insecure and nervous person who is afraid like a wounded animal. Furthermore, he reminds me of a tiny dog (like some Chihuahuas ) who parks at larger dogs and try an attack on them) and strikes even again people trying to show they are not afraid of anything but... You know.

[@thejason755]

I would argue it’s dangerous to write him off as crazy. Despite the crazy-ass speech he gave justifying the invasion i can absolutely assure you there were entirely perfectly logical reasons for invading that were just inconvenient to appearing like he had a justified reason to do it. He’s ex-kgb not ex-arkham asylum.

[@anne-mariekaterivartti1822]

@@thejason755 I kind of agree with you on that. It's only that, his actions seen seem to become more aggressive. The question is, why? I have been thinking of a possibility that Putin is suffering from some physical illness (based on his “moon-like face = that is a side effect of some medicines) and is thinking that ”now or never”.

[@margoelizabethmiller]

Love the Gilded Age accent!

[@mikeballew3207]

11:57 When you get excited thinking he's about to do Pacino

[@realamerican6101]

Show the people I just hear can laughter !

[@peacewillow]

i don't know..... seems kinda messed up to be joking about a war while it's going on.... definitely disrespectful to those suffering.

[@Turbojets_Channel]

its actually over 4 times the legal limit. 0.04 for pilots.

[@JRZTXN]

Brilliant 😌

[@brinleybruening1344]

I feel bad for the guy who was sat between Reps Boebert and Greene, that must’ve been a nightmare w

[@adamkalb1]

I take one look at that "One Thing After Another" book and know from Seth Meyers's commentary that the country is one thing he puts after himself. XD March 10, 2022, 5:22pm

[@kacyj2955]

There's never one person in a chat that's green. If one person is green, all the messages are green

[@bchearne]

Anyone who thinks “Ketanji” is hard to say is seriously overestimating their own ability to speak. It’s super, super easy to say, you dipsticks

[@marydungan6748]

Well, you figure they can't figure out how to say Kamala either!

[@primuspilus858]

Seth's forehead puts me in mind of a newly-graded multi-lane stretch of I-10 that recently opened up in my town. Man, talk about smooth, and roomy! 6 lanes, too!

[@jacobzaranyika9334]

Lol...exactly!

[@gibsonrickenbacker6317]

I pretty sure Florida schools are already seven hours of quiet time

[@windigoking]

That pilot sounded like Al Pacino

[@firestream93]

Just fired up "Wargames." Let's see how much life imitates art.

[@johnedwards7400]

Love you Seth. You're the only late night show in town. You might want to try 'disconcerting' at 1:46, not 'concerning.' I know, everyone else does it, but it's wrong.

[@twiceshy9773]

Lol you dissed his concerning

[@trevorgarrett7602]

And a synonym for Disconcerting is….. Wait for it……..Concerning! Lol His usage was grammatically correct.

[@johnedwards7400]

@@trevorgarrett7602 Prove it.

[@BreeAnne17]

The yellowstone joke was too too too good. omg dead

[@davemorris6644]

Very funny!

[@ronburgundy4894]

Slurpee Ray 😂😂😂

[@amicloud_yt]

That's Slurpee GATOR, thank you

[@mikezunker]

So, KZbin is the straight-to-DVD bin of late night shows?

[@catharticmemefairy2088]

this is my fav title ever

[@meganbarber3599]

CORRECTION- If no one was reading the green messages, there wouldn't have been a response. CORRECTION-Officials have warmed or warned? You said warmed. CORRECTION- The pilot was over 4 times the legal limit, not 2 times.

[@PluribusProject]

Of a quality I would relate to Letterman

[@DebyCedars]

Just yesterday some high school kid threw a firecracker in the school cafeteria and caused a panic among students.

[@AdamWaltersPDX]

I love Martini Rat :)

[@RawHeadRay]

So there just wasn’t a better passenger jet passing overhead sound effect huh. 🤓

[@AdamWaltersPDX]

Slava Ukraini!