Russia Intensifies Criminal Attacks On Ukraine's Civilians | Western Powers To Seize Superyachts

Amid reports of ill-equipped troops quitting the fight, the Russian military continues to target civilians in Ukraine while the U.S. and other countries move to seize superyachts belonging to Putin's oligarch cronies. #Colbert #Comedy #Monologue
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The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is the premier late night talk show on CBS, airing at 11:35pm EST, streaming online via Paramount+, and delivered to the International Space Station on a USB drive taped to a weather balloon. Every night, viewers can expect: Comedy, humor, funny moments, witty interviews, celebrities, famous people, movie stars, bits, humorous celebrities doing bits, funny celebs, big group photos of every star from Hollywood, even the reclusive ones, plus also jokes.

[@lochnesslives88]

“Put these seeds in your pockets so at least sunflowers grow when you die here” is another one a brave Ukrainian woman yelled at the Russians

[@xanmontes8715]

Holy fucking shit, Mama calm down! xD

[@bipolarminddroppings]

My favourite thing Ive seen so far is the repainted roadsigs. They blanked out all the city/town names and replaced them with "The Hague". Fucking brilliant.

[@dulcieparker7425]

nice.. would the Russians even know?

[@annemarie1507]

One thing that has stood out throughout this tragedy is that in addition to being stalwart in their defiance of Russia, Ukrainians have maintained a wicked sense of humor. The Ukrainian government announcing that their citizens don't have to declare captured Russian tanks and military equipment for tax purposes is hilarious.

[@nirogangentertainment2554]

Comedy and laughter in a time of crisis can go a long way 💯❤

[@Jeudaos]

good point

[@hollyproctor738]

I love, love, love people from Eastern Europe. I used to work with a large group of them and I can totally see them Googling how to make a molotov cocktail, cursing their enemies with ED and then turning around the feeding that same enemy when they are helpless. The people in that part of the world are so amazing and so underrated on the world stage.

[@norbertk5400]

Also, let's go after the American Oligarchs.

[@disappearintothesea]

You can’t say that. It’s unAmerican.

[@robertpearce4316]

Yes start win soros

[@johnwick535]

@@robertpearce4316 do the gene pool a favor and have a hold my beer moment.

[@norbertk5400]

@@disappearintothesea ha ha

[@akinpaws]

I suspect a fair few of them are already being impacted by the sanctions on Russia.

[@ivasykus]

The Witch of Konotop is one of the most important work of the classic Ukrainian literature, written in 1833 by Hryhorii Kvitka-Osnovianenko. Since then "The witch of Konotop" is an archetype. So that woman wasn't joking at all. They are all witches there.

[@carolinchen4683]

I lived in Madagascar with a witch... yeah I was doing anthropogical reseach, and it might sound nuts, but I am telling you that the witches were real. We had to shut the doors and pee into a bucket between 11pm and 2am because she was out.. the story goes that she wanders around at night, dancing on the tombs in the moonlight, and that if she sees you she will curse you and ride your back like a horse.... sure, crazy? So I thought. But nope. Anthropogical fieldwork takes a long fucking time... even my own research assistants from the city said the witch was real, they were scared, and don't be an idiot.. People distinguished the spirits and ancestors invoked during spirit possession from the witch. Alive and well and sort of in between. Not a joke!

[@cathycooper6135]

Yay! I love witches. I also love Jung, which is why I know what you're saying about archetypes.

[@Jeudaos]

BY ODENS BEARD. That just makes that clip SO MUCH more bad ass. So those russian invaders are literally thinking 'oh shit, we are un-screwed now'

[@joshuafass5841]

I applaud the people of Ukraine. Especially the old grandmamas. I will never get cross with a Ukraine person for the rest of my life. I'll just say, "Yes, sir/ma'am/tiny sir/tiny ma'am."

[@user-pk6bk6nu6s]

Naaah. Ukrainians are very kind... ...unless you wanna occupy their homes.

[@nastyamelnychenko3207]

Yesterday russians destroyed my house near Kyiv, I'm absolutely shoked. But even now I was able to laugh - thanks to you, guys.

[@mlpfanboy1701]

God be with you and the people you love.

[@asatechnics8363]

tell your president to surrender ..... a president that tells there own people to use molotof cocktails againts military dosent care about your safety ... and how the f.... is AZOV part of ukranian military now? you know that AZOV is a neo nazi group dont you ? 0.o .... i'l tell you one thing .... you guys want to get in NATO .... i wish my country could get out ..... hope all is well with you and your family ,stay safe

[@dulcieparker7425]

@@asatechnics8363 Nothing like protecting yourself, Hanoi Hannah.

[@dulcieparker7425]

@@asatechnics8363 Why surrender? So they can live under his rule? Why is he there in the 1st place WITH TANKS! Like I always said about some one bigger than me.. I may not win, but I'll definitely hurt ya. Sure, march in, ruin everything take everything and get a surrender... wow! Putin's wish list. You remember what that witch said, don't you?

[@jozefmak984]

🤣🤣

[@melissahoule1492]

When you want to declare your nice new pre-owned tank, you clearly use Schedule T.

[@kerriebarney5823]

LOL! I'm an accounting major studying for the CPA exam, your joke made my night. :)

[@susanfarley1332]

I loved the little news clip i saw yesterday that had a Ukrainian lady offering sunflower seeds to a Russian soldier. She told him to take them and keep them in in his pocket so that when he died they would grow into flowers where his dead body would lay. "Because you will die" Whoa, that's cold. 🌻🌻🌻

[@bluetube8824]

Yeah, those Ukrainian ladies and their curses; stone cold killers. "Put these sunflower seeds in your pocket...."

[@catc8927]

Even better, sunflowers are the national flower of Ukraine.

[@dulcieparker7425]

And he thanked her and ate it cuz he hadn't eaten in 4 days!

[@jalabi99]

She was one badass babushka!

[@TashitaxLinda]

Whoever wrote the Bombly recipe blog joke deserves a fucking bonus. That was so brilliant, I am wheezing.

[@hereticpariah6_66]

It's not in This video, but there is footage of a Ukrainian woman who gives a soldier some sunflower seeds to put in his pocket, _"..so that, when he dies in the Ukraine, flowers will grow where he falls."_ That is f'kn hard-core. Another is where the farmer _tows away_ a tank that had been on his property with the tank driver running after it. Hilarious.

[@plantpowered269]

"Collar made of pubes of his enemies" got me here in Kyiv, while I am packing my bags 😁😂😥

[@GreenWitch1]

Please stay safe! The world is with Ukraine 🇺🇦

[@catc8927]

Glad you could still find something to make you laugh. I hope and pray that you and everyone else in Kyiv stays safe, and that you can get out safely.

[@katiehettinger7857]

Good luck to you in your travels. 👍💗

[@Razorgirl]

That Rally has the same crowd density as the 2017 Inauguration. 😜

[@tommyt1971]

Colbert needs to do a sequel to his “Whose Boat is This Boat?”… “Whose Oligarch is This Boat?”

[@noirellee]

You give us a lot of guilt-free laughs about a situation that makes us cry. Thank you.

[@davebartosh5]

I laughed harder than I have in a while when that woman put the curse on those Russians!

[@arnoldvialpando6754]

Me too I had a laugh laugh laugh and laugh again that was too goodlaughter is the best medicine that they were all going to get a good dose of healing laughter with this war. Spell war backwards and it's raw 🤓🤓🤓 sense of humor. Thank God we have Steven here in the Homeland it's all good 😂🤣😂🤣

[@maybeebuzzy2265]

Yes! This whole segment is so good, but that woman is the reason I'm saving this to my folder marked "GROOVY".

[@renegade44040]

I've had a horrible day until I heard that joke and just like you I couldn't stop laughing 🤣😂🤣 The whole bit went off good. And then the way JonB reacted!

[@rowynnecrowley1689]

I literally shouted "Blessed Be!"

[@johnnycreighton29]

Don't underestimate the power of angry witches.

[@willardroad]

"The wicked witch of the Eastern Bloc!" I did a huge spit take... gotta find my paper towels. LOVE IT.

[@thexalon]

Regarding the credit cards cutoffs, I'm reminded of a Yakov Smirnoff bit: "Instead of American Express they have Russian Express - 'don't leave home.'"

[@laurielamoore2941]

Hard to describe how much I appreciate this guy! So smart and on point!

[@barkasz6066]

Let's not humiliate Russian soldiers for surrendering. That is the most helpful and honorable thing one can do when sent into a completely meaningless and idiotic war under false pretenses. If they can't rebel and deny their orders on the spot, this is the next best thing.

[@frida3578]

Well said

[@fcguam3939]

Absolutely , 💯👍

[@finalio]

You could instead open the map and then judge the pretences.

[@kn9ioutom]

THE WORLD MUST DESTROY PUTIN'S ECONOMY !!!

[@johnhopkins6260]

...but they looked so cute, all dressed up in their parades.

[@CandiceTmechanicalme]

"I pity the fool that doesn't itemize their deductions" such a great line!

[@worldcitizeng6507]

🤣😂😅

[@LD86]

LOL golden! 🤣🤣🤣

[@daleleisenring4275]

Ugh!! Damn!! I shouldn't have watched "The A-Team" every episode back in the day. Why? If you don't hear the following in Mr. T's voice, you dont understand! "I pity the fools who still hear my voice in their head all these years later!! And I'm not getting on that plane!"

[@bingonamo7520]

No it isn't, he's mocking a war. How would you feel about watching this if you were a Ukrainian? Colbert doesn't make jokes about the Holocaust, so why have nightly monologues about this war?

[@jorgegonzalez-larramendi5491]

trøn eliminated my deductions so i am No More "middle class" creeping Thief

[@obijuan3004]

Steve Cobert was in top form here. The defiance of the Ukrainian people is inspiring. Tax breaks on captured vehicles is priceless. Giving a Russian soldier a phone to call his mother is just brilliant. When this war ends I want to go to Ukraine and meet these people.

[@Seanpfree]

I love Jon Baptiste piano punctuations during the monolog. It used to throw me off but they've got it down pat!

[@ratholin]

I absolutely love that a russian surrendered and someone was like "Dude you need a sandwich. You wanna call your mom, tell her you're okay?" That's the most badass thing ever.

[@gmopotato2790]

I think it's really good strategy, too. Might get a lot more soldiers to question their orders, especially because things aren't going well for them! Kill 'em with kindness, as they say!

[@frappalina]

Yea because they understand that these are kids, they don't want to be there, and they have been lied to

[@JoshSweetvale]

Literally a reverse Holodomor. :D

[@clautastic9186]

I really wish all Ukranian’s treat them with kindness and don’t kill them. But sadly this is a war, and I guess not all would be nice with them, and Russians are famous for being double agents. I guess everybody is paranoid. Still I hope the best for surrender soldiers, some seem so young. This war is unfair for ukranians citizens and russians.

[@andrewr311]

Most Russians consider Ukranians to be their brothers and sisters and the soldiers were not told it was an invasion. Obviously there are exceptions like the ones who killed a family in a car today near Kherson, I believe.

[@casbot71]

The problem the Rally had was that when a lot of the promised attendees _found out they were being paid in Rubles,_ they realised it wouldn't even cover the gas money.

[@BebbaDubbs]

I just snorted. Thank you.

[@babyteano1977]

That make perfect sense ☺️

[@JoshuaMuse]

Oh!

[@shahnulislam9897]

No they are still pissing their pants from the Jan6 arrests

[@jameswilliam5759]

what

[@jackie474]

The whole witch part was hilarious 🤣🤣🤣

[@adamjames5077]

"Dog the Boaty Hunter" hahahaha Hilarious 😂

[@erockromulan9329]

Those soldiers are almost victims too. Get them to spread the reality Putin doesn't want his people to see.

[@spooky_hausintrees]

Alot of them are conscripts they really don't want to fight there brothers

[@priscillajimenez27]

Yeah I feel bad for them too. They're just following orders and duty

[@robertpearce4316]

They have handed up.

[@sana3843]

@@rice83101 truth, no one wants to spend 20 years in Russian prison. Not to mention, they’re bringing back capital punishment. So a lot of soldiers are in fact victims. Not all of course. There are sick people everywhere. Some open fire at civilians that post no threat, some put the white flags pretending to surrender and make it a death trap for Ukrainian soldiers.

[@robglenn4844]

Captured Russian soldiers have reportedly said they were left in the dark until the last moment. They were told their manoeuvres near Ukraine were just an exercise, then got surprised by sudden orders to invade. It's no wonder their motivation and morale is low.

[@BlairTindall86]

I just read an article about a Russian soldier who was killed in Ukraine. Before he died, he sent a text message to his mother: "Mama I'm in Ukraine. There is a real war raging here. I'm afraid. We are bombing all of the cities together, even targeting civilians. We were told that they would welcome us and they are falling under our armoured vehicles, throwing themselves under the wheels and not allowing us to pass. They call us fascists. Mama this is so hard." Knowing that his final message to his family was one of fear, and that he died for absolutely nothing... it just breaks my heart.

[@yvonnetomenga5726]

@Blair Tindall • The Ukrainian Ambassador to the United Nations read this message at the United Nations. His mother wanted to send him a parcel. Anyone who has ever received brownies or other goodies from home can relate.

[@Jimmy911ism]

Very interesting. I have not seen this anywhere else, so I'll look for it.

[@user-un3ru6dt3w]

What utter bollocks. Do you also believe the tooth fairy is real?

[@yvonnetomenga5726]

@@user-un3ru6dt3w • The Ambassador held the texts up for all to see. There are also videos of POWs calling their mothers.

[@user-un3ru6dt3w]

@@yvonnetomenga5726 It doesn't prove jack shit, sorry.

[@terrynicholetti4090]

"Thank you" just doesn't seem like enough to show how much I appreciate Stephen and your team. Tender moments, clear observations AND at least FIVE LOL'S in one monologue. Love and blessings to you all!

[@Orocnogu]

If only there were less lies and propaganda (purely for the purpose of comedy, of course).

[@capnsassyjas2878]

No one does this better than Mr. Colbert. True statement.

[@jeffmcdonald4225]

I think the important thing we learned here is to avoid causing trouble in a Ukrainian town that has a 50 % witch population. That was a somewhat disconcerting curse.

[@ianmiller6040]

I think we need to be more concerned about the fact that there is at least one village in Ukraine that is inexplicably 50% witches.

[@catc8927]

@@ianmiller6040Too bad witches are so easy to find there. If it was only a few women, we could’ve had … a Russian witch hunt! 🥁 … I’ll see myself out.

[@dulcieparker7425]

Witches know potions and use crows as spies.

[@priscillajimenez27]

That imagery of the soldiers getting snacks and making yarn bracelets is just too wholesome! 🥺💜

[@SamiLo2]

I agree when he said they were feeding the soldiers and letting them FaceTime family I was like “🥺 aww.”

[@NathanCroucher]

there prisoners of war, if things go bad and taking into account how corrupt and brutal ukraine is, theres a good chase theyll be executing some of those prisoners. Hows that for wholesome, wake up this isnt a game. Oh yeah whats this a small nuke? kzbin.info/www/bejne/hZzIkGChf8xrpsk

[@naomibee8881]

@@NathanCroucher LONG LIVE UKRAINE! GLORY AND VICTORY TO UKRAINE! May their light continue to be a beacon of democracy forevermore! GLORY TO HEROES! UKRAINE 🇺🇦 UKRAINE 🇺🇦 UKRAINE 🇺🇦 FOREVER! Down with Russia! Down with Belarus! DOWN WITH PUTIN THE PARIAH! The outcast, the liar, the killer, the war criminal, the monster! And down with ridiculous Russian bots! Edit to add down with Russian oil! Down with Russian banks! Down with Russian oligarchs! All praises for the Ukrainian people who’s character inspires the free world with their breathtaking and awesome courage. ❤️

[@darkmyro]

@@NathanCroucher are those they same nukes they found in iraq?? the ones that didn't end up existing? I mean yeah, he might end up as a pow, but I think he might be better off in Ukraine than in Russia. Not only that, but after some quick research and I haven't been able to find anything that says Ukrainians are treating their pows badly, everything I can find says the opposite. I also refuse to believe that the current president the guy who refused to leave his country, the guy that made a video to calm his people and show them he was still in the country, and fought so hard for Russia not to invade his country is corrupt. You either have no idea what your talking about, are a russian bot, haven't done your own research, or are a troll.

[@NiecieSavo]

@@NathanCroucher he surrendered and they fed him because he was starving. What are you babbling about?

[@tanyamishchenko]

Could I have ever imagined that my native neighboring town Konotop will be on the show.. it's surreal.. I was born in a town just a couple of km away from there... #standwithUkraine

[@hfar_in_the_sky]

I know the invasion is a very serious topic and shouldn't be taken lightly, but something about 3:50 made me bust a gut laughing. I'm just imagining a Ukrainian talking with a tax consultant being like "I know I do not have to declare taxes for the armored troop carrier, but what about the main battle tank? Oh, I don't have to declare that either? Sweet!"

[@epicshawn360]

Yeah as a Ukrainian I must say it would be a real pain to declare that

[@xanmontes8715]

"This is truly a victory for the average farmer"

[@JM-wu8bh]

Never underestimate a Grandma. Their words they say are far more demoralizing to Russian troops than anyone holding a firearm.

[@ianmiller6040]

"Every second woman in this village is a witch!" *proceeds to cast limp-dick curse on Russian military* Badass...though it is slightly concerning that there exists at least one village in Ukraine comprised inexplicably 50% of witches....

[@LD86]

@@ianmiller6040 LOL savage level 9000! 🤣🤣🤣

[@hambone4984]

There was also the grandma that gave out some sunflower seeds to a Russian soldier and told him that she prayed the sunflowers would bloom from his corpse. Like holy crap! These people aren't holding their feelings back and I fucking love it

[@gidi3250]

@@hambone4984 and they guy responded that instead of flirting with foreigners she should be at home with the kids during this time of crisis.

[@danutadobrowolska7879]

@@gidi3250 but she wasn't flirting she was dominant!!!

[@MissJellybean]

One major thing the world has learned throughout this senseless nonsense is how bad ass Ukrainians are. May there be a swift victory for Ukraine 🇺🇦

[@katiehettinger7857]

Sadly things are more likely to get worse, before they get better, but we will keep supplying our friends in Ukraine until they get their country back. Then I hope they will be allowed to join NATO, so this never happens again.

[@gidi3250]

Yea that's not very likely Russian soldiers are surrounding city's and towns and bombing the city's defences. Even that massive convoy to Kiev is technically not still as men are building a forward base for refueling and to have a place to bomb Kiev from.

[@carolw8579]

Amen 🙏

[@Gadget-Walkmen]

not so swift.

[@free2express08]

4:36 This is compassion. This is humanity.

[@jeanwonnacott2718]

Grandma's googling, holy crap, run!!! I am so proud of her!!

[@bobcatbigpaws5597]

That was so heartwarming helping the soldier. These are just young boys and I don't look at them as empties. The Ukraine people are so kind to keep them safe. The woman only saw this young man as a boy fighting a war he wanted no part of.

[@daleleisenring4275]

I would never make the mistake of considering them "young boys". They are armed MEN who are soldiers of an invading army. If a strong chain of command were in place, and the situation much more favorable to the Russians, one of those "young boys" holding an AK-47 on you, and shouting out an interrogation would be perceived as military men, soldiers of an evil empire. Its obviously a humanitarian gesture that's good PR. Nothing would infuriate Putin more than this! That "young boy" unfortunately will be viewed by Putin and his cronies as a weak soldier and treat him to a mans size bullet. Authoritarians like Putin expect all to be the perfect soldier and this young man may become collateral damage.

[@danieljob3184]

Someone should get on to Turner Classic Movies. Now would be a really bad time to rescreen Red Dawn Rocky IV and Rambo III

[@reverendmonique-mariebray2436]

Bobca, What a great lesson for Americans who are tearing each other apart in a war of thoughts.

[@bobcatbigpaws5597]

@@daleleisenring4275 Putin want be there when these boys return. That is if they return. If the Ukraine people can treat their enemies with open arms than I can do the same. People suffer on both sides of the fence and who are we to say we're any better.

[@Tustin2121]

Nik Satt - Pretty sure sending captured soldiers back in pieces is against the Geneva Convention. Meanwhile, the only thing here that might be against it is the videos made and shared of the soldiers getting taken care of, and that’s a question of if civilians are covered under that rule.

[@LisaMackey]

Great segment. We must laugh between the tears and rage.

[@TheBlumann]

"no, I don't want your pity rimshots..." lol that was a fun laugh

[@xkil0wattx752]

Authoritarian Wiggle is the absolute best thing Colbert has described about someone on this show. This whole intro was one of his best.

[@PaperPlateClorox]

The fact that Ukrainians cared about reporting military tanks on their taxes is super interesting.

[@nfspbarrister5681]

Eyy.....it's an asset acquisition afterall🎶😂😂

[@ilovefunnyamv2nd]

I got these two tanks over the week. you're not going to try and tax me for them, right comrade?

[@DevilTravels]

I'm wondering if it's an asset than can be claimed to get a loan to rebuild a house the tank destroyed.

[@chrissiek8706]

@@DevilTravels well, at least you could refurbish a tank for farming, especially in wet lands

[@Echo81Rumple83]

If I were them, I'd donate the vehicles to the Ukrainian govt. for them to strip down for parts in their rebuilding phase when the war ends.

[@Jefuslives]

Gotta give those rally-goers props for their outstanding social distancing. 😂

[@katiehettinger7857]

😶😐☺😀😄🤣

[@LD86]

🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@carolw8579]

Luv iT😂👈

[@dulcieparker7425]

excellent

[@dougclem7711]

LIFE IS DIFFICULT, THANK GOD FOR COLBERT!

[@dunkelmonkey]

There are more Avengers than people who showed up at the trucker rally 🤣

[@User-dt3xl]

Brilliant monologue. And the humility of those people assisting the Russian soldier... Can only imagine the chaos and pain on the ground. Really redefines what it actually means to be human. Something Putin will never understand.

[@levelazn]

remember drone struck afghan rIraqi and syrian children. who's being held accountable?

[@amberadams217]

The Russian soldier looked like a kid...like a boy who should be sitting in a highschool classroom not invading another country.

[@levelazn]

@@amberadams217 that could be said for a lot of us troops in Iraq and Afghanistan

[@apexcrypto01]

@@levelazn we understand if you have to shill for China but come on... You're going to shill for Russia too?

[@levelazn]

@@apexcrypto01 no I am shill for pointing out hypocrisy

[@galinafulei4734]

Thank you for making me smile in these awful days. Hello from Ukraine 🇺🇦 Thank you amazing American people as well, you are so great

[@bstring7773]

Hahaha!! So much gold in this monologue!!

[@shermanculbertson6244]

I just want to say a heartfelt thank you Stephen. I suffer from Autism and during the pandemic I fell into depression, something I still struggle with very much today. No matter how bad of a day I’ve had or how down I’m feeling, you always make me laugh and smile. The last few years have been very difficult and tough, but your show has helped me get through them and makes me feel better no matter how bad the news is. Thank you to you, your writers, and staff for always putting on such an awesome show. You really have a positive impact on the world.

[@Tonyhouse1168]

♥️

[@ThatOpalGuy]

Glad you're feeling some joy. Stay strong.

[@priscillajimenez27]

Wish I can hug you. 💜

[@dmom8586]

Hope you are feeling better

[@keithleier7466]

Sherman how much did they pay you to say this BS, either that or u need to open your eyes for the first time, SC is a cabalist who is going to jail shortly, ya your idol behind bars getting his by big inmates giving it to him, and tell u little secret SC likes it up his rear end.....hahahahahahahah

[@KABNeenan]

As an American half of whose family is from Ukraine, you don't mess with babas. My grandmother, rest her soul, was the sweetest woman who always had a pot of tea and a listening ear ready for those in need, but she would not tolerate anyone's bullshit.

[@dulcieparker7425]

Friggin' bare hands, K, bare hands. Old and wrinkly around Putin s neck!

[@xanmontes8715]

Your baba fills me with a healthy fear for Ukrainian women.

[@SorcererVtuber]

Gotta love how that 12 attendees probably includes their kids

[@zed4225]

Stephen that was gold, plenty of comedy fodder at russias expense

[@Styphon]

The search for the oligarchs' yachts: A10 - Miss. B2 - Miss! F22 - You Sunk My Yacht!

[@amandahudson431]

Showing kindness to the soldiers that surrendered, is nothing to joke about. Many did not want this war

[@ssthomas9]

You're on fire with this one!! Probably the best monologue I've seen in a long time, and yours are always on point.

[@jlee4039]

Slava Ukraini ❤️🇺🇦 What an amazing people!!

[@sacrilegiousboi]

What a show of class by the Ukrainians giving help to Russian soldiers 👏

[@JenMistress]

That threat that woman made to the Russians about making it so they can't get it up sounds like something myself and my group of women online would say to guys who annoyed us. I loved it. 😂🤣😂🤣

[@TheAmericanMonaLisa]

Mistress Jen 🤣

[@TheAmericanMonaLisa]

Mistress is never single but always alone.🤷‍♂️ # ForeverAlone

[@ericminch]

There are two ways to do this: (1) The magic curse, which sometimes but rarely works through psychological intimidation; (2) The straight razor, which always works, and *cuts* the incidence of rape

[@chrissiek8706]

Psychological warfare 🤭

[@sshza2143]

kinda like a verbal kick in the knutz 😬🤣🥂😁✌😎

[@innaleonenko2022]

Thank you for supporting Ukraine

[@grumpeydogg2777]

You missed it, woman handing out sunflower seeds to invaders. "Put in pocket so flower grow from your corpse"

[@Boomshakalaka7654]

12 rally goers huh , that’s as many people that attended trump’s inauguration 😂

[@MamaOdie]

🎯🎯🎯🎯🤣🤣🤣

[@hewlettwilliam4650]

Burn

[@jamaya730]

And they were just his secret service detail.

[@DrunkBiden]

@Samus Knight people, they always tell me this

[@DrunkBiden]

@@Onikage55 probably some sort of govt assistance LOL funny thing is the trucker unions don't support the protests...the same protests that are resulting in factories being shut down and people who actually want to work are losing pay over these n@zi wannabes

[@CHAOSmusic-2019]

I stand with Ukraine 🇺🇦 And also stand with Colbert jokes🤓 💙💛

[@MartinFox1885]

I approve a series of "Russian playing inside a tank". It's gonna be a hit. XD

[@simonfernandes6809]

The Russian soldiers are 18 year old conscripts who weren't even told the reason they were in Ukraine. No wonder they are surrendering. Their morale is rock bottom.

[@plasticapples3288]

I really hope Ukraine pulls through they are putting up a hell of a fight

[@dulcieparker7425]

They can't put bubbles around their infrastructure .Putin's gonna whittle them down. It's gonna get a hell of a lot worse before it gets better and then what... their cities are being destroyed right now.

[@plasticapples3288]

@@dulcieparker7425 yeah but at least they are fighting back very well and hurting Russia where it matters

[@jayriedmuller7187]

I READ THAT ONE RUSSIAN SOLDIER SAID THAT HE WOULD BE EXECUTED IF HE REFUSED TO GO. I BELIEVE HIM.

[@TheAmericanMonaLisa]

You be surprised that is the normal protocol for all countries going to war. If you didn't " just following orders" You and your family would pay the ultimate price.

[@carolw8579]

Of course he would be killed, this is Russia 😑

[@neojc128]

6:49 That belly laugh again. This guy must be in the staff, he's ALWAYS there

[@Green-Mountainboy]

6:00 LMAO 😂 That poor Russian soldier...

[@nandayane]

I think that 45 must be terrified right now, all his financiers are going to have their assets seized.

[@atomicknight63]

Their financial records too.

[@Raydensheraj]

He is more worried about the rising prices of Pampers & Huggies...

[@joey2703]

You mean Putin just shut down the Democrats money laundering slush funds.

[@evanstone7656]

@@joey2703 are you a communist ? It's very unamerican to side with Russians.

[@joey2703]

@@evanstone7656 Unamerican kinda like leaving our allies falling from our planes as we leave them hanging? How about unamerican as we are still buying russian oil. Let's go Brandon!

[@alexmartinez5859]

“Authoritarian Wiggle.” I don’t think I’ve ever had such a nostalgia kick that I just got sent twenty years back. Man this is a weird feeling.

[@marelinem541]

@Van Bus Well, aren't you just a spammy little pain in the butt ...

[@cathycooper6135]

Mulled over...😆 Steve's back on form

[@MorganVsTheInternet]

Molotov Grandma is my new hero.

[@DavidRodriguez-hh6kx]

Slava Ukraini!! 🇺🇦

[@MrDrProfessorSir962]

I love the cowboy drummer. That smile and levity is infectious

[@tommyt1971]

BRILLIANT commentary on the Mol Cocktail recipe. I could see my own mother doing that if Russia ever invaded my hometown when I was a kid.

[@austin_316]

Criminal attacks? Like the US in Syria, Iraq, Afghanistan, Libya, etc.???

[@sl0thilicious]

I don't care what the drummer thinks, that yacht-see joke was hilarious 😂

[@cassandrakarpinski9416]

Agreed

[@joannbowden6220]

Hey, u leave drummer boy alone! He's my next ex-husband! 😂😂

[@cheshirecat6518]

I liked the mulled ovah joke better!😆

[@woofowl2408]

Topped off "pity rim shot" !!

[@Surge1077]

The Dog the Boaty Hunter one wasn't bad either.

[@Nevertoleave]

Some talk suggests even the Russian troops don’t even want to be there. I’ve heard unverified reports of them damaging their own tanks so they run out of gas and can’t continue

[@OrigamiMarie]

I saw someone point out that the tanks are (by Putin's plan) occupying all lanes of that 40 miles of highway. Putin literally didn't plan for the possibility of needing to turn around and get out.

[@waqarsolangi3338]

Americans didn't wanna be in iraq Afghanistan syria but they had to...

[@katiehettinger7857]

Ukraine is offering asylum to Russia defectors and 5 million rubles, about $40,000to start a new life. That's what you get when you elect a comedian as President, thinking way outside the box.

[@DrunkBiden]

Yep...big surprise, Russians are human beings too!

[@DrunkBiden]

@@waqarsolangi3338 no they didn't lol the military in America is voluntary lol nobody made anyone do anything, you sign your life over to the the govt when you join the military

[@natalka7157]

The best pronunciation of Kyiv I’ve heard. Thank you ! 💛💙

[@richiejohnson]

Thank you for years of brilliant discourse. This is Top Shelf

[@tatyanapolyakova948]

I do think Russians leave those tanks because they don't want this war. There really are many sane and scared soldiers who understand it's madness to hurt innocent people

[@katiehettinger7857]

There's cellphone video of Russian troops stopping down the road from a Ukrainian checkpoint getting out of their vehicles turning toward home and walking away.

[@asatechnics8363]

@@dzenacs2011 you mean the neo nazi AZOV ? are they experienced ? i bet they are .-.

[@jmoore4437]

Yes! They're in a communist country run by an unhinged madman. They're likely poor, have been lied to & don't want to be there at all. This entire situation is absolutely horrifying.

[@tatyanapolyakova948]

@@jmoore4437 they.... I'm one of them

[@meanderer121]

This was an outstanding monologue, just what’s needed right now when so many of us are stressed out and saddened by what’s happening in the world currently.

[@katiehettinger7857]

Many of these people have family on both sides of the boarder.

[@bennettcawley4630]

Except for the wicked witch further footage. Should have read the room.

[@Washoewillie]

I was thinking that maybe it's why I thought the monologue was so funny.

[@papabonedaddy4116]

Oh god that lady cursing Russian soldiers with the ED joke was fantastic!

[@nadiarepich5199]

Absolutely brilliant, brilliant on all fronts. Please continue to keep us up to date!

[@RapscallionStudio]

Its so good to see Stephen back in his element. He never fails to bring joy.

[@Dana-kb5mk]

Couldn't agree more 😀♥️♾️🕉️

[@mercuryangel9223]

OMG, this is just too funny! Stephen Colbert is a GEM! Wow, he rocked it tonight. The man is a genius!

[@MichalBrat]

After seizure of those yachts there will be many... Oligarchs of Broken Dreams... BADA-TSS :-)

[@andreac3362]

LOL. Joe not giving hiim the drum roll. Jon Batiste still doing a great job with the piano when SC puts a thing off screen.

[@anthonymiele4320]

They're empowering privateers to go after super-yachts? Holy hell, a place where one can finally hunt the rich. Yo-de-doh-de-doh-n-day-yo-de-doh-de-day-yo.

[@rainningstorm]

Pirates of the oligarchs

[@robertpearce4316]

Yea go hunting lefty. They have guns. Less leftist. All good.

[@evanstone7656]

@@robertpearce4316 ok snowflake

[@dano8902]

@@robertpearce4316 Who ever said all leftists hate guns? Oh wait, ignorant righties who completely miss the substance of arguments for gun control. Silly me!

[@johnwick535]

@@robertpearce4316 do the gene pool a favor and have a hold my beer moment.

[@kerricaine]

after the shit we went through here in canada with those damn truck rallies, it's so satisfying to see they couldn't do the same on their home turf.

[@clairemcfadyen6815]

You think the noise from truck rallies are bad?. Wait til The New World Order starts. You won't like it. Which is what the truckers were attempting to prevent. Forced mandates are medical rape

[@BullShitThat]

@@clairemcfadyen6815 Please call us when it starts Imagine thinking a truck convoy is the answer to mandates😂😂😂 what a difference they made

[@katiehettinger7857]

@@clairemcfadyen6815 please stop drinking the cool-aid, it's messing with your brain.

[@clairemcfadyen6815]

Mockery is the tool of the weak. Not surprised that you both used it. Try again.

[@jorenvanderark3567]

So your previous comment wasn't a joke? You're actually that deluded? Poor girl.

[@kevinmunger1842]

It is heartening to imagine others disdaining war.

[@gwen3010]

May GOD please protect the people of Ukraine!!

[@lindseycherry314]

I’m going to need an entire show of Stephen doing impressions of Russians playing “I Spy” while trapped in their immobile convoys.

[@ianblake815]

That would be a great skit 💯

[@LauraEilers]

Yes please!

[@amberadams217]

Whole heartedly agree.

[@tec5x5]

Is tank?

[@aika0604]

omg yes please

[@JOLLYBALLZ]

The skill level of any comedian should be judged by the ability to create genuine laughter in any situation. This man is 10/10

[@carolw8579]

SC has always made us 😆..... Evie is so lucky to have him 💓

[@dulcieparker7425]

I remember, way back when, when he had The Colbert Show, and I had heard he was hosting a Republican rally thingy, idk, I was perplexed and I told my husband "Like Oo how did THAT go? and " Well he's not really a right wing guy, he 's being "ironic" and the look on my Republican guy's face! No clue! He argued with me. That look was PRICELESS! Friggin no idea! Then right after that , that Fox yahoo , O Reilly, I think went on the Daily show and kept reiterating that he, himself, was a" pundit" about 20 times, off topic! OMG what a travesty because he FINALLY got it & wanted to make some one believe that HE was part of the club.! And he 's not even CLOSe, but a horses !ss, proven that night even more! I mean, it's kinda sad. Oh, Steven is that good.

[@tommyt1971]

Somewhere Mr T was watching this on his couch and laughing until he falls off!

[@user-pf9ub8en2m]

Дякуємо Америко вам за все, ми любимо вас і хочемо бути з вами

[@willysbest9242]

If America only had a leader. FJB.