UK ADOPTION Q&A | Changing our son's name? | Do we love our biological child more? | mollymamaadopt

Hi everyone! A much requested Q&A from questions on Instagram. I've picked some of the more common ones but will film another. I hope it provides some good info & reassurance!
QUESTIONS:
1. When are you going to tell your son he's adopted? (0:31)
2. Did you have concerns about loving your biological child more? (1:55)
3. What did your support network look like going through the process? (3:10)
4. If you could go back in time to stage one, what advice would you give yourself? (4:38)
5. How did you know you were ready to adopt? (5:32)
6. What are your thoughts on changing your little mans' name? (7:21)
7. Do you tell people your son is adopted? (8:40)
8. Are you going back to work after adoption leave? How do you feel about little man in nursery? (10:00)
9. How did you whittle down the children's profiles? How prescriptive were you? (11:36)
10. Did you constantly worry that you wouldn't be approved at panel? (13:05)
Molly x
Adopting after baby loss: • ADOPTING AFTER BABY LO...
Announcing we're adopting: • ANNOUNCING ADOPTION | ...
Finding our little boy: • FAMILY FINDING & LINKI...
Etsy shop (adoption workbook): www.etsy.com/uk/shop/mollymam...
Instagram: @mollymamaadopt
Twitter: @mollymamaadopt
Find an adoption agency (UK): www.first4adoption.org.uk/fin...
Adoption UK: www.adoptionuk.org/

[@nikitachidwickcreates9945]

Ive gone through the same experience in terms of having a terrible and traumatic pregnancy and birth. This video has given me so much positivity about adopting and helped me be confident in choosing to adopt because of my experience.

[@whatlyddid]

I teared up when you spoke about being ready. I've always said that if I have children, they'll be adopted. While doing some learning I saw one picture of a little boy and his dog on a beach on AdoptionUK and I got the same butterflies you spoke about, my heart just knew that I wanted to give another child that love, home, and family.

[@afishwick4781]

Such an amazing and informative video as always! Can’t begin to tell you how much you’re helping me through this process XX

[@MollyMamaAdopt]

You’ve made my day! I am so pleased x

[@RaileyMolinario-zx9bs]

Thank you for sharing this! 🫶🏽

[@CharlotteAliceDouglas]

Hi Molly, found your channel this morning and currently binge watching your videos! I love them all. We are in the process of becoming foster carers, going to panel on 27th July. So excited but also nervous xxx. Lots Of love to you & your family 😊

[@MollyMamaAdopt]

Ah Charlotte that’s incredible! You amazing people. I am so hoping I get to do that one day. Best of luck for panel 🥰

[@ashleyl8990]

Hi Molly, your video's are so informative for people like myself and my partner who are just about to start stage 1! X

[@MollyMamaAdopt]

Thanks so much! Good luck to you both that’s super exciting 💗

[@jolo7173]

Really helpful thanks :) learn somethig new everytime I watch your vids

[@MollyMamaAdopt]

I’m really pleased you’re finding them useful Jo x

[@schalunen]

We had a ceremonial adoption hearing at the court and our child was present. Aged 5. Never been a "secret".

[@elliemahon3783]

Hi! I loved this video, would you consider doing a video about your learning log, what you found helpful to include in it? I'm still looking into the adoption journey and haven't found much about learning logs/paper work! Thank you so much!

[@MollyMamaAdopt]

Hey! What a great suggestion. I’ve added it to my list of videos and will go on a hunt to dig out my learning log 😃

[@afishwick4781]

Would also loveeee this! Currently in the very beginning of stage one and this would be very helpful x

[@hannahwitty9041]

Hi Molly! Fab video again thanks. This is potentially a stupid question! Sorry! 🙈 When you say you may change his middle name does that mean his surname remains unchanged? Ie it will be his birth families? TIA

[@MollyMamaAdopt]

Hey! Not a silly question at all! So surname does change to yours 😃 we will add in a middle name. Hope that clarifies x

[@foiporamor6088]

Hi Molly! In your experience do you think the waiting time if you wanted to adopt a baby as young as possible would very long or in that case, maybe foster to adopt would be better recommended? My husband and I consider adoption but we would like to be there from day 1 if possible at all and be part of all the firsts as we were for our biological child. What are your thoughts on foster to adopt and did you and your husband consider that? Many thanks x

[@MollyMamaAdopt]

Hey! Thanks for the question 😃 I really can’t put a time on it because it changes constantly. If you want to experience the newborn phase then definitely foster to adopt. Most children through traditional adoption will be older (6 months+ usually) x

[@MollyMamaAdopt]

Forgot to add! We didn’t consider foster to adopt purely for our daughter’s sake. The risk of a baby going back to birth family after our daughter building a bond with it would be horrendously traumatic for her. If we didn’t have her, we probably would have considered it! There’s definitely pros and cons to both f2a and traditional adoption x

[@katread123]

Such a good video thank you. I have a question..... Can adopted children go into full time childcare as I work full time? Xxx

[@MollyMamaAdopt]

Hey Katrina. Thank you! So YES 😄 normally throughout adoption leave you’re expected to take time off work and equally them out of childcare (unless they’re in school) but when you go back to work then absolutely! Once legally adopted they’re your child and your responsibility so you decide what works childcare wise for you x

[@katread123]

@@MollyMamaAdopt brilliant thank you! 👏 I got into a bit of a panic. 😂 We are just finishing stage 1. You’re so helpful xxx

[@jennifermurray2293]

I watched an adoption film and the character says "did it feel like we were babysitting someone else's child".... Did it sort of feel like that at the beginning? I am so nervous holding a friends baby, or making sure how I am with their children, whereas they are all naturally as it is their child. Does this come? I hope this makes sense.....

[@MollyMamaAdopt]

Hey Jennifer. I hear that a lot too! It was very surreal at first. It felt odd having a child who I didn’t know home. It didn’t feel like babysitting as we were fully prepared to welcome him home but it felt very unknown - we didn’t know his cues, his comforts, his ways of communicating at that point so it was constant learning and that was scary, but not half as scary as what he must’ve been feeling after so much change and loss. As my son started to trust me more and realise I’m his mum then it all became very natural ☺️

[@AdventureAllTheWay]

What financial checks did they do?

[@MollyMamaAdopt]

Every agency or local authority is different but in our experience we had to list income and outgoings, loans, supply wage slips, bank statements and credit card statements and also evidence of savings 👍🏻