Understanding and Forgiving Suicide | Rachel Brennan | TEDxSyracuseUniversity

[@ScarCaskt]

My wife killed herself less than a week ago. She suffered from fibromyalgia chronic fatigue and depression. We love each other very deeply. My wife didn't want to hurt anyone, she just couldn't take it anymore. She saw no relief in the future, she hasn't been pain free in years. I cannot begin to imagine what this feels like. I have a whole new outlook on suicide. I have compassion and I think it takes a lot of courage to kill oneself. I feel that there is a negative stigma about suicide. I feel it shouldn't be hidden or censored. I went to a FB group for suicide awareness. And I saw a meme that said, "If you don't want to live for you, then live for me." I think this is a selfish statement and does not validate the person's feelings. I feel the best way is to listen, and validate these feelings, and offer any help that you can. I miss my wife very much and I know I'm fresh into this unreal reality. But I can feel her love and I know she is no longer suffering. I'm truly sorry and my heart goes out to anyone and everyone who has or is experiencing this tragic loss.

[@veeherreraJanecka]

My deepest sympathies. My son took his life 5 days ago. He was once a vibrant and healthy year young man, even graduating college wirh honors. Then he began to have severe inflammation in his body that lead to years of suffering. He eventually became so depressed that he seemed to have a psychotic break. I can’t fathom that he is gone. I also wanted to talk about the chronic pain. I’ve had chronic pain for 16 years due to an auto accident. If I wasn’t being treated for this pain it would be even worse. I have depression and fatigue and many days wish the Lord would just take me. Living with constant pain is bewildering and hopeless. Your post has helped me. My prayers for you

[@ScarCaskt]

@@veeherreraJanecka 🙏❤️

[@joelorei2146]

💔

[@manie141]

My partner took her life two weeks ago. She also suffered from fibro and severe ptsd,trauma and depression. Im still trying to come to terms with this. How are you today

[@ScarCaskt]

@@manie141 I am so sorry for your loss. I can't find any joy in much anymore. I have been tuning into my creativity when I get the feeling. This seems to help me get through the day.

[@joannemates6367]

As someone who has battled chronic depression for over 40 years, I have been in that very dark place, several times. Most of my depression stems from severe childhood and generational trauma. From my experience I can tell you that the people that end their lives, just want the pain to stop. In that moment they aren’t thinking about anything else but stopping the pain they are in. At the age of 47, I am not just surviving now, I’m thriving!! I have never been happier. Cheers, from Country Victoria. Australia. ✌️

[@LibsRockU]

J.M. Cool for you. It seems to me that people often make the HUGE mistake of thinking that since I've had heart disease, I know how others with heart disease feel. Or, since I have had a good friend betray me, I know all about betrayal. Or obviously, since I have depression, I know what other depressed people feel like & why or why not. No. NO!!! I reject the notion, mostly. I will happily validate that there are SIMILARITIES. But that's it! The differences aren't just interesting, they are CRITICAL.

[@june5034]

I am so glad to hear that you are doing fine. I am so happy, you made it. Thank you for sharing your story, I wish you the best.

[@blueskies7019]

How were you able to turn it around? I'm 48 and I'd love to know how to fix it... especially since losing my 23 year old son to suicide 9 weeks ago. My depression is far worse than it's ever been right now. I really and truly do NOT care if I live or die. I do things I normally wouldn't feel safe doing, like going out for a walk late at night. You could say I have a death wish, but I'd rather die because someone else killed me... that way my loved ones won't hate me postmortem. None of us hate my son, he was so much like me... huge heart... loved others more than himself. I know for a fact he couldn't have been thinking of us when he pulled that trigger, because he was literally the most selfLESS person I have ever known. But it's different when parents die by suicide... children tend to be quicker to hate than the other way around. But right now... I think my mother would be incredibly angry with me. Last night she texted and said she can't take losing another family member right now. A few days ago one of her friends died by suicide, too. I actually met her at my son's funeral. So yeah... kind of a banner year going on here so far. I thought for sure 2021 had to be better than 2020. But g-d-it if it didn't get immeasurably worse! Right now life feels way overrated to me. I'm ready to see if it's just "lights out" or if I could actually see my son again.

[@lidiaguardado393]

HI

[@mirellavidriezca1119]

I suffer depression is it the worst feeling pain all the time.

[@tristanphillipsshadowalker4633]

I am jealous of people that wake up and are well rested and happy.

[@marshagreene6782]

Me too

[@adrianaaldecoa7062]

Me too

[@mirellavidriezca1119]

@@marshagreene6782 me too

[@blueskies7019]

I am at times, but I wish I could be like that most of the time. I hate going back and forth between happy and just existing for others. That latter feeling is even more prevalent since losing my 23 year old son to suicide 64 days (9 weeks) ago. I do have other children and a wonderful spouse... I live for them and a few others. I want to live because I enjoy life again. I'm not sure that will ever happen for me again.

[@jonneiss7562]

you are not alone. Many, many people suffer extremely. And, it is hard watching those who have an easier time. I was profoundly suicidal in 1983 and 1984. Tough times. Glad I survived though. Generally, better not to worry what is in other people's head. Usually, they actually have plenty of problems also. Just not always visible on the surface. take care

[@dld4202]

Let’s pretend: I go to the doctor. I have cancer. Doctor is unconcerned. I ask what I’m to do and he suggests vigorous exercise. “I’m sick!” I protest. He accuses me of being dramatic and attention seeking, tells me to snap out of it. “But cancer kills!” I argue. “Shouldn’t I see a cancer doctor?” He says not much is known about cancer, there’s little funding for research, and resources are few. I can see a specialist but it will take months to get an appt. He offers pills but warns the side effects could be worse than the cancer, tells me he’s sure I can shake this cancer business if I really put my mind to it. Reminds me to exercise.

[@dld4202]

My comment was cut off: Meanwhile, a friend has a quarterly depression and suicide screening. She scores low for suicidal ideation but high for depression. She sees a specialist right away. “This is quite serious,” the specialist says. “But we’ve caught it early and luckily many advances have been made in the field of depression research. Many effective treatments exist. It’s rare these days for people to die from this disease, as long as they are treated.” I die, my friend lives. What if depression and other mental illnesses were taken as seriously as cancer (or other diseases)? What if the same efforts and resources were devoted to curing mental illness?

[@kirstyriver7689]

Yes. Makes me angry.

[@klanderkal]

@dld4202 this is a good analogy. It's not taken seriously... its like it can't be imaginable. We can try expressing, but it's too unbelievable. You would have to experience it , ..... and even if so. Doctors really don't have a cure.. it's like a medicine guess, trail and error. I just can't stand it. It's ruined my existence.

[@klanderkal]

@dld4202 I couldn't belive... that's such a horrible doctor. I feel the pain and disappointment. Please, how are you now? What have you been going through?.. I hope you are better?.. ?🫶

[@abbyfortune921]

I lost my great grandpa, grandpa, uncle & my dad all to suicide. Everything you said resonated so much with me. Thank you so much for this Ted talk!!! I’m so sorry for your loss.

[@Guts_Brando]

Wow

[@Wasd-j8z]

I am sorry for your loss, Abby❤.

[@aslmad1]

I’m sorry. Please take care of your mental wellness. You are at risk 😢

[@abbyfortune921]

@@aslmad1 thank you so much for saying that, I really appreciate it! I’m about to get my bachelors in psychology so I’m hopeful that I have the tools & skills that i need to prevent myself from getting to that point. :)

[@nathanchandler7077]

My wife died by suicide in 2008. I was never angry with her. Now I sit fighting bipolar depression and generalized anxiety disorder. I think about suicide every day and have for years. I'm just so tired.

[@ananths7586]

I am so sorry for your loss. Hope you are doing better now.

[@OldSchoolParatrooper]

I'm sorry about your wife. I'm fighting a similar in my head today. I know it doesn't help. But you're not alone. I've made my piece with my decision and when

[@rjvowels]

U ok?

[@StyIex]

The anxiety is so Bad it never goes away

[@immiimagine9824]

I just turned 26 yesterday and I lost my mum to suicide 9 months ago. She took her life exactly 12 months to the day from when I had tried to take my own life- the 26th of December. I am so angry with her for succeeding because if only she had held on a couple of months more than she would have been given a reason to not let go. I’m now 32 weeks pregnant with my second child- another boy. My first was her absolute world and now she doesn’t get the opportunity to even meet her second grandchild. I’ve been trying to forgive her for ending her life but she took my heart with her. Your video is inspiration to not only take in consideration how she must have been feeling but not take it so personally, thank you

[@blethenfamily2658]

I’m so sorry for your loss

[@rainbow3065]

It's really not fair. I was twelve weeks pregnant with my baby girl and had only told both my parents the day before my dad ended his life. That was nine months ago and it's only getting harder to deal with.

[@Saybleu]

Excellent speech but she has no idea what it's like to wake up knowing there is another day of misery to live thru. I want to die every single day. I'm praying cancer gets me and takes me down fast.

[@geoffwaller9058]

The instant disappointment of waking up, l hear you.

[@Saybleu]

@@geoffwaller9058 Everyday Geoff. It finally broke him. I often wonder when will be the day I’ll wake up and say, enough. It’s coming. May we both find some ☮️🤞

[@CajunAdrienne]

I've said it before...if I get Cancer...you'll never see me getting treatment for it.

[@Saybleu]

@@CajunAdrienne No way! It will be a blessing to hear those words although my therapist said she bets I’d freak out. Lol. No way, I’ll know I’ll get some peace🙏

[@mariettaberry1711]

Do you feel any different now?

[@hunterthesicilianratpack8716]

We all need to listen more when someone is hurting suicide, depression and hopelessness is real

[@JayP-kd5rc]

Being angry with a person who ends their life makes no sense to me. It affects you a lot, for sure. But it shouldn't be about you. It's about them, and the pain and suffering they had to be feeling to be able to end their own life. I lost my husband to suicide, and although it has affected me profoundly, I can only feel so sad and remorseful for him. So sorry I didn't understand the pain he was in, and wasn't there for him. I loved him and don't know how to live without him. But the sadness and pain in him is what matters to me. What he was going through is what is important to me. I cannot feel anger toward him..............only sadness and regret. We were married for 30 years, and I miss him dearly.

[@CajunAdrienne]

Great comment. I'm sorry for your loss.

[@ericasams7951]

Jay P, I am truly sorry for your loss and I hope your pain gets better try to remember the 30yrs of love and care you had for him, the wonderful memories you both created together and the love you had for one another! I am now forever going to be greatful that I read your comment this is a very hard thing for me to say especially in a public place but I am and have been in a very very deep dark hole and I can't get out of it I have been battling demons that don't want me to continue with life and its so fuc*ing hard to just hang on for one more second especially no bs I don't have anyone who cares about me no family and I really never have had friends I am only wanted or needed when someone wants something or just use me and I'm told that my severe health issues are too much for anyone to handle and everyone turns they're backs on me! I am sorry for telling you all this 😔 but I wanted to let you know that your comment is touching and meaningful to one who battles Suicide daily

[@persistentlypathetic6820]

@The mysterious Miss X you'll never get it

[@carolinabycarolina8451]

I lost the father of my 3 kids in July 2022 to suicide. John was 30. I am devastated. I have had thoughts of anger for a few seconds but then I tell myself I don’t know what he was feeling. Then I feel sad for being angry and the pain he must have been going through. I know he loved me and his children. I have so many questions but I pray . I wish I could have saved him. I wish I understood more I wish I was there for him more. I wish I could have said I love you more. I wish I could have said I am proud of you more. So many what ifs. I love him deeply and miss him. My children ask so many questions all the time. He left letters for them. They love him and miss him.

[@user-vj3ty9us5h]

It is very painful. My elder brother took his life last month. It's all extremely unbearable. May we find comfort thru each other 😘

[@lizabeesley2845]

I truly believe that anyone who has lost a love one to suicide, can appreciate the simple things in life, that are free . The gentle breeze on a hot summer day , laughter of a child, a walk in nature. I am a survivor of suicide.

[@picopico5836]

About 2 years ago my best friends brother committed suicide, his family was never the same, since that day they have not stopped suffering from that. Every time I think in killing myself I think about what they have been going through every single day, this is the only thing that has prevented me from committing suicide. But I do not know how long I can coupe with this life.

[@Randomhumaan]

Stay strong. You’re not alone in how you feel.

[@marshagreene6782]

Your not alone I feel the same way everyday. I wake up crying that I woke up, when I wake up that’s my nightmare

[@tiredofit1968]

I'm glad you are empathetic enough to think about what they went through. My 18 year old son killed himself last year and I am broken....for good

[@picopico5836]

@@kilonovx-ray9382 i have seen how something like this can destroye a famliy and a pesrons epsecally perants, i just thought to myself what ever i am going through it can not be as painfull as what you and your family (and like so many others in the same situation) are going through.

[@taquitoburritoxl]

You are not alone. We need to carry each other through this.

[@rajinevin7273]

She is so judgmental about it. That is why she was stuck in her own anger for so long. You simply cannot know what the person who commits suicide is feeling until you have lived in those shoes. Of course you cannot "try to make sense of it". Just love them and wish them well and tell them you are sorry they were in so much pain.

[@ladybuglove61201]

Great answer.

[@vosaemify]

People like you who feel judged about this only shows me how depression has gotten you to NOT understand the people who don't understand suicide. Super sad.

[@CajunAdrienne]

They way I look at it, is we're all going to die someday, some just check out early. Life is not easy for everybody. Those who are smart , and confident in their abilities as adults should feel blessed , because not everyone can function like that. Severe Anxiety is just as hard to live with as depression. People should feel more compassion for those who choose suicide.

[@persistentlypathetic6820]

@@CajunAdrienne wise words

[@InTheNameOfLife1]

Exactly. She has no sense of empathy. All about her. Nothing about how he may have felt. Only her side

[@hewsonxo8219]

Thank you for this video. Lots of tears shed. My step dad committed suicide in 2020 and not a day goes by where I don’t remember the day. I love you Rob and wherever you are, I hope you are free.

[@clivemoment2174]

This lady, talks about learning to forgive them. Forgive them for what, trying to find a way out of non stop endless suffering.People always say ask for help, which is what I did and from that point on my life was destroyed totally by the so called caring mental health services which are a complete shambles. People only think of themselves,of how they feel over the loss of a loved one not of the torture that there loved ones may have to endure for decades.If I had the courage, I would end my existance(because it certainly isn’t living)today. It is wrong for people to say, I understand when they have no idea or concept what that person is going through.

[@holayou2241]

She made the suicides in her family ALL ABOUT HER. She is narcissistic and self absorbed. This is the type of person who would definitely drive someone to do that, which she seems to be so upset about

[@TupacsHomegirl]

@clivemoment. 100%

[@danielgiordani7625]

Absolutely. You have no idea what’s going on inside someone’s brain, therefore you have no right to judge them at all.

[@kateelario6235]

Forgive them for causing you grief and mourning. You don't understand.

[@bthanskf7126]

My sentiments exactly. I hope at least one of us is doing better (or that yre still trying after 2 yrs myb 😬) Just peace, purpose, & proper connection is all most ppl want- not to be shoved off into a completely clueless &disparaging “healthcare” system

[@HuntressCarolina8D]

I lost my mom about 2 weeks ago. The most hurtful thing was her not leaving a note. Not knowing if I was loved or a disappointment. Not knowing if I was part of the ending catalyst.... Having depression and anxiety myself, as well as past suicidal ideation... part of me can understand. But the other part of me will always be in torment without at least some form of goodbye.

[@ilinaschileru248]

I lost my mom 11 days ago. I am constantly replaying her final moments in my head, wondering did she think of us then. Did I contribute to her decision-making, by not following many of her wishes regarding my living arrangements? Cause I didn't. But if I were to do so, I would have been pretty unhappy... don't seek such a response. We cannot fully understand what went through their minds. It is painful enough as it is. I feel you, so sad for your loss, please hang in there.

[@naomii3730]

@@ilinaschileru248 I feel every word you just said. I lost my mother 3 days ago.I am picturing her last moments in my head and it’s really getting to me.

[@31minutesago]

God bless you ladies. On behalf of suicidal people I forgive you. Forgive us.

[@nicogalax]

My brother left a ton of notes inside a book, are you sure you checked everything?

[@lynnmueller8320]

I lost my Daughter to suicide 12/23/23. I searched everything in her room and in her trashcan I found a torn letter she wrote to me and one she wrote her sister....I often think she was having second thoughts. I put them together like a puzzle and taped the letters back together, they are beautiful full of love and thankfulness. I also found a note she wrote and left in a random kitchen drawer. I pray this may happens for you 💔💔

[@im_just_vidu]

I'm suffering from severe depression for years now. I've attempted suicide couple times. And not once I ever thought about hurting others or getting sympathy. All I wanted was an end to the pain

[@klanderkal]

@im_just_vidu wow,... its like I read about myself. It hasn't been years though,... im sorry for you.😵 It's been 8 months, I've suffered everyday and night. Severe depression, with it's anxiety, stress and insomnia. Wrecks your whole system. The Trauma and extreme losses I went through was also my fault. So, I beat myself up with hate, regret and guilt. Do you ruminate constantly, negatively spiraling in quicksand of distress?.. I hate it. I would suffer so badly,... I would grab the cord, or hurt myself in attempts. I realize No one can help. Talking might help during the talk... Still, doesn't even bandage the pain. I'm like you...I just want to end the pain, period. I hope you have somehow Healed 🙏❤️.... that would be good to hear.. KaL

[@horroRomantic444]

I would like to think they finally found the peace they finally wanted. Good night.

[@sigridbohne]

Yes, that's true

[@busterdafydd3096]

1:50 when your "down" you don't even feel pleasure from those "little things".

[@benjamintilodi7010]

Very true

[@elizabethharvester6111]

Cookies and baby laughter has never been on a generalized suicide prevention plan.

[@JasonMoore-ey4tb]

People don't owe you an explanation for anything they do it's not selfish taking your life, it's selfish having everything work out for you and then judging someone who didn't have things work out for them and it's easy to say oh just do what you want when you have a family to fall back on if you fail you have food and comfort guaranteed if you have a steady and constant lifestyle but judging people under the assumption you wdnt do that is beyond narrow-minded be happy their pain is gone not everything is about you

[@deborah869]

Jason, I was about to scream by the time I read your comment. Is she doing them a favor by forgiving them? Being so ,oh, accepting? Then , by tying everything up with the neat bow of chemical imbalance, putting them on on the shelf of oddities which have nothing to do with her, who would never ever do such a thing. Life as I knew it ended a year ago when I lost my only big bro - I trust him to know, it was the only choice he saw. I trust his beautiful, gifted mind to know, that he definitively made that final cut, because the pain and angst and shame were were way past the point of being soothed by showers and blankets, eggs and toast. I pick up a can of root beer today, and my heart clenches because he isn't here to chug it down and feel it's sweet coolness. I stopped to watch a sound and light show, on my way home this evening, the pink, purple, blue, green lasers crisscrossing the skies above the Old City walls. And cried, because he wasn't also able to watch and shiver at the juxtaposition.. I'm devastated, carrying on alone, having assumed he would always be with me . I'm not angry with him. I'm so so sorry that he hurt so much. And I know that as the pain bloomed, and his thoughts carried him, they did not allow him to see his devastated sister, so much sadder, so much more alone without him.

[@elizabethharvester6111]

@@deborah869 I'm so so sorry for the loss of your big brother. The way you spoke of him tells me how close the two of you were - you knew sooo much about him and his little moments of joy. I agree with you, the relentless pain that drives people to suicide needs much more than pancakes and baby laughs. I was insulted that she said these things in a TED talk. These things might work for her but if they were that effective, we wouldn't be losing people to suicide at such a terrifying rate.

[@elizabethharvester6111]

I agree. As I listened to her, I thought about some of my loved ones who died by suicide. They were living in poverty, some of them had terrible addictions, they did not have much of a social support system - mostly their friends also used meth and alcohol. Not helpful when you are trying to get sober. There are people in this world that do not have access "a hot shower and a good rest". Her story is from a place of privilege, and privilege is a protective factor against suicide. Not 100% but one significant factor that reduces one's risk of dying by suicide. I want to hear stories about how people survived homelessness and addiction and violence, what helped them get through all those horrors and still not end their lives. Because these are the people I see every day, and I want there to be better systems in place for them. Safe housing, healthy food, effective addictions and mental illness treatment and sustainable supports, meaningful "work" - engagement in daily activities that make them happy or feel worthy. And a sense of belonging - like they belong and they matter. Not all of us have loving families or loving friends. Isolation is a huge risk factor.

[@JasonMoore-ey4tb]

Love you guys hope y'all can get through everything and understand life doesn't end here, we'll see them again we're all connected stay strong ♥️

[@deborah869]

@@elizabethharvester6111 Thank you for your kind words. I miss my brother so much, and people are afraid to talk about what happened, to talk about him at all. People feel so much shame for needing and accepting help, and in modern society we are so spread out, and can easily become isolated. It hurts so much, that I wasn't able to help him, that he isn't here to feel the crunch of autumn leaves, the velvety nose of kitty cats, the sharp smell of winter in the air. Another holiday he isn't here for; the mint candy cane, the mesmerizing spin of the dreidle. I saw this on youtube, and somehow missed that this was actually a Ted talk! In terms of public service and education, this one was a miss.

[@debibarrington4697]

All those " reasons she named for why not to kill yourself" they loved all those things too and were passionate for them probably more so than those of us that take them for granted..i know

[@RMT192]

Yep, just can't do them anymore. I love when I'm able to do the tiniest of things. Also, when you're unwell every sound and moving thing can become unbearably emotional painful. I'm a survivor for now.

[@blueskies7019]

Very well stated, Debi!

[@scoooter78]

I disagree, from my perspective people that want to kill themselves no longer feel any pleasure from those normal things. When there' nothing good left, why go on?

[@lightningthompson9640]

You’re absolutely right. You desperately cling to these little things to give you hope or encouragement, sometimes that’s all you have when you have feel completely miserable.

[@mirzo7]

He probably didn't feel as loved and deeply cared for as you thought

[@dfelekiddfelekids8644]

What an empathetic and eye opening speech. Someone really needed to say all this. This should be showcased in every School in the world.

[@jenniferrobbins9120]

Sometimes, despite all of this supposed help available, there just isn't enough left in you.

[@elizabethharvester6111]

Yeah, I've called crisis and suicide prevention lines a few times in my life. A few of them are okay, but some of them were not helpful at all. The good ones were people who sounded like they genuinely cared about me, this faceless voice on the other end of the phone. The not-helpful ones sounded like they were going through a list of questions or saying rehearsed lines that didn't feel real. So what I needed was warm and genuine acceptance and caring. I'm sure others feel the same. We need to do better as a society.

[@fergusfitzgerald977]

I worked on a help line and so can understand how people are so traumatized with this topic. You must trust that at the time they made their decision they did not do it for the reasons you might think ! You me the whole world will never know why. If it was sudden unexpected and out of character You must remember the summation of their whole lives was not defined by their end. Remember their whole lives and their goodness to you and other not the end ! You seem to be doing well - remember that is what they would wish for you - honour that wish !

[@Yvuyctxtxtx]

Not everyone has a life as privileged as you do. Think about that. Not everyone lives for cookies and baby laughs.

[@elizabethharvester6111]

Agreed. As I listened, I thought about her research on brain chemicals and low moods. When we have people living in poverty, violence, war, illness and disability ... it's so much more than just thinking happy thoughts out of your wish to die. It's going to take the return to community, because not all of us have loving families or lots of friends or caring partners. But we can have a community if we work at it. That's my dream.

[@michajabonski9670]

Really sad is that for most of people this is something that happen "suddenly", it show that we don't really care about what really happen with people we live with, we see smiling faces but we don't even try to see pain they are hiding just because they don't want us to feel uncomfortable with the truth. Tragedy of people suffering mentally is such a feeling that nobody could ever understand how they feel, this is a rally tragic isolation. We don't need to understand why someone commit suicide, instead we should be more empathetic for those who suffer usually months or even years.

[@itsamess3216]

Nope, you can care a lot, but sometimes these people are masters fooling the loved ones around them and don’t want help for some reason. Often people who commit suicide have a lot of self hatred, thinking the world is better off without them. And lastly, you don’t know how you will react in a extremely stressful situation.

[@elizabethharvester6111]

Suicide brain tells us (or some of us) that our loved ones would actually be better off without us. That's what makes suicide so lethal - some of us actually believe this. There are people who survived a suicide attempt who talk about this, and people who put this thought in their goodbye letters.

[@MichelleRansom-j6r]

I just lost my son to suicide. He was found on his 38 th birthday. You made me look at things different

[@veeherreraJanecka]

I feel your pain 😢 🕊🙏🏽

[@TupacsHomegirl]

Ppl r suffering, there is absolutely no reason a person sh be forced to be alive only to suffer, n this is me

[@robbieanderson227]

I lost my son last summer, he took his own life at 23 years old! His last messages to me were “I love you too dad!” And “you’re my hero” 😢

[@DerekPK]

Then why did he take suicide?

[@robbieanderson227]

@@DerekPK toxic relationship with his gf, and alcohol

[@DerekPK]

There was a guy named Ted Gärdestad in Sweden, he got involved in hinduism and when he came back to Sweden he had turned in to a germophobe and also heard demons in his head. Then I guess the demons in his head told him to jump in front of a train and he did and took suicide. Avicii another Swedish singer also took suicide. In Christianity you are not allowed to take suicide since murder is a since. The body is owned by God not by you so don't kill your body and since we Christians believe in raising people from the dead, you need to have faith and you should be able to raise your son from the dead again only if it's God's will. So go to the grave where your son are and ask God with faith that he raises your son from the dead in the name of Jesus Christ. Either God gives you a no or a yes, it's worth a try also read the KJV bible.

[@DerekPK]

@@robbieanderson227 When did he die, are you gonna consider raise him from the dead in the name of Jesus Christ? Bible talks about raising Lazarus from the dead.

[@robbieanderson227]

@@DerekPK what?

[@4estdweller4ever]

We have finally come to a place where suicide is no longer only angrily described as a cowardly, selfishly, cruel act, even vindictive, manipulative, supremely unloving to loved ones. The religious doctrines that teach those who “commit” suicide don’t merit a resurrection or they are lost in limbo until someone pays enough money for enough candles or they burn in hellfire are often the basis for such ideas. Now we understand how a brain can loop a person into self destructive thoughts, or that stigma toward mental illness can frighten a sufferer into hiding. Imagine if you were in a fiery car crash, what would you be thinking? Oh, I need to get out for the sake of my kids, my mother, my friend, my eternal life? No, you would be thinking, “GET OUT!” People who are caught in a convergence zone of illness, pain, betrayal, shame, grief, whatever the elements are, are at a brick wall. They CAN’T think of you. They are in pain beyond what you can understand. There is no logic, no reasoning in that place. They have run out of resources or their ability to believe in them anymore. So, yes, forgive them. Have compassion for their pain. And forgive yourself for being angry. It’s normal. It hurts. Most of all, don’t overlook others or look the other way. Remember in every face you see, even the smiling ones, lies the possibility of a mask hiding agony that needs someone to say I care.

[@Lucinda68]

Well said!!

[@suzannephillips6236]

What church makes people pay for candles to get people out of limbo, or teaches no resurrection for suicide, idk

[@CoronaryArteryDisease.]

Well said

[@basicmary3626]

This is the worst Ted talk on suicide I have ever seen. She made everything about her

[@rsaug]

I totally agree! Nothing abt those who passed, no empathy, nothing.

[@nerdothn892]

It's about the experience of losing someone to suicide

[@danielgiordani7625]

This is what’s so frustrating about suicide. People trying to make someone else’s suicide about them and not even considering how much pain or suffering they were in

[@elizabethharvester6111]

@@nerdothn892 True. But the way she talked about suicidal people just finding things that make them happy or thinking about their brain chemicals was waaay off. She spoke *for* people who feel suicidal when she's never felt that way herself.

[@carlososcarcomedy]

This last year under lock down has been very tough and many people like myself lost work. I lean on God to gut it out and not do anything drastic. I pray for those whom are in deep depression.

[@cap10zomb]

I would kill myself but I guess I'm too scared. Sometimes though I feel the older I get the more brave I get.

[@slivkask8329]

No offence, but someone who never ever experience such condition is not going to understand that. The same applies to other experiences in life.

[@HeatcheckMedia]

My brother killed himself a couple months ago and im just trying to figure out life this video was actually kinda helpful. It helped me understand not only what my brother was going through but also how i feel

[@danielgiordani7625]

@@HeatcheckMedia sorry for your loss. You should watch the first 20 mins of the biology and psychology of depression by Robert Sapolsky. It’s on KZbin. Eye opening stuff

[@BeMoreAwareGodWatches]

I think what you had to say towards the end is so helpful to me I found my brother today dead from a single gun shot wound to his head he went to a seedy quiet dark motel room and did it after ignoring my texts and calls for three days prior looking for him and all I can conclude is that he was in so much pain and so chemically imbalanced there was nothing I could do to help him

[@jennybohen8150]

Takes a lot of bravery to talk about something this sensitive!!

[@blueskies7019]

More people need to man-up and start talking about sensitive things. Fewer people would die by suicide if more people starting stepping outside their cozy comfort zone. But that would mean caring for others and in most of the current day world, caring really isn't all that praised much. Sad... really sad... makes those of us that naturally care feel like giving up.

[@ogmaharpocrates2742]

That's why I'm waiting for my parents to die first, so, the longer possible, I hope for them. But as soon as they are, I'm out too!

[@4estdweller4ever]

I understand your desperation. I feel this way at times myself. But do not give up. I have come to realize I can’t depend on other people for help. Hoping for that is risky because they can fail you. Decide what things in life make you feel good in your heart. Animals? Nature? Music? A warm bath? Start there. Every free moment try to turn your thoughts and activities to these things. Try to banish painful thoughts even for a week. Give yourself a little breathing space. There are people who love you and would not want to be without you. I hope you will feel better.

[@vulpecula182]

Don't give up! There is always a hidden solution. It will show up

[@debibarrington4697]

@@vulpecula182 hes not giving up hes waiting

[@CajunAdrienne]

Same here!

[@angelselmani3342]

My daughter was amazing, beautiful soul and seemed so wholesome and alive so the biggest shock to have is her suicide and never being able to stop the disbelief or wondering why? Thank you for this turn-a-round moment, sure chemical imbalances in the brain are out with our control. I was angry with her so the sadness and tears did not come. Now I can understand that she did not even need a reason for this tragic thing to happen. It is just so sad.

[@cain6981]

This video should be titled "Understanding and forgiving suicide from the point of view of someone with an amazing life and no frame of reference for real sadness to that point".. although i guess it doesnt roll off the tongue.. there are plenty that could relate to her story, and a lot more who cannot

[@klanderkal]

Yes,... I agree with you.

[@channelDD25]

I think what’s painful for people who have SI is the disconnect and lack of understanding that others have towards depression and SI. Others view it as situational, they advise that if you just change this in your life you will feel better. The lack of understand would make anyone with depression feel alone.

[@snacktime66]

this video helped me cope with the loss of my cousin. thank you

[@elizabethharvester6111]

So I read through a lot of the comments here. I see a lot of people comment that they are offended or insulted by the speaker's talk. I am too. And to the people who have found some sense of healing and comfort in the talk, I am so glad that it helped. But what I am questioning is this: why does someone think they need to "forgive" someone who has died by suicide? Why don't we also think, then, we need to forgive someone who has died by a terminal illness? It wasn't their fault they got sick, right? Or do we need to "forgive" someone for dying in a war? Because there are different kinds of wars in this world - one of them is against people with depression or other mental illnesses linked with suicide. The point is, we are grieving the loss of a loved one. Resentment and anger are a normal part of grieving. I have lost a brother, niece, nephew, uncle, and good friend to suicide throughout my life. Not once did I feel the need to "forgive" them, because they did not do anything wrong or bad to me. They were in immense pain. Sometimes, people die from that pain. It doesn't really matter what the cause of death was, unless there is a stigma associated with suicide - which I think there was in this talk. What truly matters is I loved them, I miss them after they died, and I had to go through the messy painful process of healing from my grief. Not that I think I'm completely "healed" - I don't think we ever are. I think we just get to a point where the grief isn't as painful and we are able to go back to living our lives.

[@rickiefeatherstone]

I've been simply existing and can say that despite my ideations, for peace, I remain for my son. Of course, it's never so simple as to what pushes one over the final edge, but the times I have that I'm thankful to be alive, so far are what gets me thru the dark when it comes. I can assume all that one holds dear to their hearts, are what their final thoughts consist of.

[@danielhesse5573]

thank you for sharing your story with us. Always important to count your blessings when the going gets tough

[@s.ngannou4519]

Count you’re curses don’t bury your head in the sand

[@JuanHernandez-ry9dr]

Sometimes life is really not worth living. I am killing myself of slow death. Can’t sleep can’t eat. What stops me ? My family, perhaps lack of courage. Waiting for heart attack as price to stop the pain.

[@judementz-gibbons6730]

I never understood suicide either, until I suffered major traumas and hence depression. That warm shower feels like climbing a mountain, as was getting out of bed. The small joys of life - gone. I could feel nothing. And the pain was becoming too much to carry. I had one suicide attempt. I soon learned that was a mistake as I was clinically dead for a few minutes. Everything you were mad about you had every right to be. I was not thinking of the well-being of others at that time. It just became too much and I did not believe I could cope. I am still here, so that thought was a lie. I still get depressed, but whilst I have people who loved me and I them, love is worth fighting for and surviving. Getting fit helps depression and your deceased love one may have been unwell also, together with something he could not cope with,or thought he could not and saw no way out. Depression lies. Some, no one cares about and they suffer unbearably, abused at the hands of others and I personally believe that much co passion for them is not being given at all and can understand why they wanted to leave the earth. Others, gave up and needed to fight harder, find a reason to. But when there is love around us, purpose and small goods, but abuse - it’s circumstantial. And compassion for those souls I feel so much for. Suicide is not the answer for,others who have so much to live for. Hope, faith and love is. Never give up. Find the root cause, psychical, mental, emotional and spiritual. There is a cause - something in the past we can no longer carry or financial ruin, loss and mental illness. So many don’t care and we need that back to watch out for each other in a community. Or suicide will continue to increase. Giving someone the time of day and a small chat etc, can save lives. Medication does not help me - pushing myself and giving and living for just the moment does. There are so many no one cares about who lead ‘deaths of despair (addicts, homeless etc) due to usually abuse. But they did matter. They cannot see it. That’s the problem. Of course forgiving another will free you. I am sure he is sad of the pain he caused you and regrets. And is still with you. Continue to love him as that never dies.

[@stevet744]

Thank you for your talk it helps. I just lost someone to suicide who was a huge part of my life.

[@vosaemify]

I'm sorry for your loss. I'm one year in for my brother. Time does heal. Trust me. I'm nowhere near closure or satisfaction with all the questions in my brain. I had to learn to let go

[@cristianm7097]

I'm still not convinced I should live.

[@martibosier6272]

What would convince you?

[@geoffwaller9058]

My opinion, life isn't worth the struggle and pain that is always seemingly out of our control. Life here feels like a punishment l just wish l knew what l did so that l never have to come back.

[@cristianm7097]

@@geoffwaller9058 Keep on truckin'

[@JBieberLove1994]

My friend just committed suicide, we’re on our last year of Med school. Didn’t see this coming , we students from my class are all shattered!

[@justmadeit2]

The fear and self loathing and agitation and horror of a mind that turns against you with a bad depression, is truly horrific to experience. It’s not just feeling a bit low in mood. Add in insomnia too and you feel you can’t get back up. You feel you are constantly in survival mode and it exhaust you.

[@klanderkal]

Wow.. Very well said. T.Y. It is exactly what I'm going through right now... you describe me in every way, and I agree with you! Self loathing, horror of the mind turning against you. Severe depression IS a horrific experience, and with insomnia 😢 I'm unable to do anything anymore. Can I ask. What happened that caused this?

[@justmadeit2]

@@klanderkal For me many reasons. I’m 49 and been struggling for some time. Long term Unemployment,been single 10 years, a dysfunctional childhood, obsessive compulsive disorder, and more. So yeah, if a person has enough anxiety it will then tip over in to depression

[@klanderkal]

@justmadeit2 ✨️Thank you for sharing. I believe also you right. I have had a domino effect of traumas, tragedy and unbearable losses, .. also the terrible consequences from decisions and mistakes I made. My life was so destroyed. Depression is so unbearable, the insomnia and anxiety. I don't live anymore. All that I was, and things that meant everything to me are gone. I'm mentally paralyzed, I suffer in the apt, unable to accept all that happened.

[@bthanskf7126]

I can’t even sit thru the whole thing 😠too many clueless Karens out there who think it’s all about them, rationalizing w toxic positivity…Not a day goes by (almost my entire 57 yrs) having done AALL!!! the things- “treatments”(lifetime of side effect management, tons of inept therapists just for starters…) that I don’t just wish to God all affairs were wrapped up, my kitty wd be ok & I could finally end this groundhog nightmare. It’s COMPLICATED, & no, of course no one wants to hurt others..but it’s also no way to live out of sheer guilt & obligation for ppl who don’t really give 2 sh* anyway..just make it about themselves. The world is a sick place, even on “beautiful” days , for many barely just white knuckling thru. Sorry for your loss but I’m jealous of the courage it takes to do what (for beloved pets) is the “humane, loving thing” in many cases. 😢

[@rickclapie5434]

This was well stated. I can’t imagine what she felt. I know we loved each other and that she had many happy times but the depression was out of her control.

[@johndoyle1810]

You’re a genius,I’m happier now living life in a nursing home crippled physically than i was when i self harmed with all my limbs intact,

[@johndoyle1810]

Pressure from bullying was the situation that created my distress that led me to cut at my wrists these people have destroyed me every way and prevented me from justice because i was in the workplace,i am terrified of these people and this is the only way I can explain it.thank goodness for you guys,i am now twenty five years on crippled physically mentally and emotionally with multiple sclerosis,which i believe is directly linked to vicious bullying

[@angietyndall7337]

@@johndoyle1810 I'm sorry you were bullied. MS btw is an autoimmune disease in which the Immune System attacks the cells of the body,specifically the Myeline Sheath covering the Neurons. This fatty cpvering helps in the conduction of Nerve Impulses.

[@johndoyle1810]

@@angietyndall7337 i know a lot about the condition but i believe it’s directly linked to bullying especially the consistent mental despair i truthfully suffered over a period of two years truly awful it was but god is good thank you so much for your concern,,,but I’m fine otherwise

[@elizabethharvester6111]

@@angietyndall7337 Okay, but there are links between trauma and nervous system dysfunctions/traumas

[@sgtleska]

Thank You for this talk. I consider myself quite rational, inquisitive and well informed in a lot of ways. This talk showed me that I truly lacked perspective in regards to my own human condition. I am inspired to seek help with my own instability for the first time, and I realise I need to. Specifically this story, may save me. I thank you again.

[@shirleycolee1]

It can be contagious. We don't have to let that happen, at least.

[@behonestwithyourself3718]

It's weird listening to this talk. I couldn't imagine not understanding suicide. Being mad at someone who did it just doesn't make sense. I guess the only way to understand depression is to live it.

[@danielgiordani7625]

Exactly, unless you’ve suffered from depression you’ll never be able to even comprehend how much pain and suffering that person was in. No one has a right to judge someone else for ending their life.

[@larrybradley3809]

The pain that drives someone to suicide doesn’t leave with them. It goes to all of the survivors.

[@psyborg01]

My ex decided to end her life yesterday morning.. I found out when my current girlfriend saw a post on Facebook that she questioned and was told by my best friend who were still good friends with her (which I had no issue with) that she ended her life in the early morning while her husband was sleeping.....our paths ended a very long time ago and it was for the better for both of us as we would never be able to move on from one another while still have each other in our lives. I was very happy that she found her way in life and in love and let bygones be bygones...... thing is.. she was a psychologist and it was her job to help people who suffered from depression and trauma and all kinds of mental issues.... she had all the info, all the avenues to seek help and yet she decided she had enough of this life.... i am mad at her for choosing the easy way out but I understand that we will never truly know what went on in her head at the time as she was in a good place financially and from what I've heard her husband is a great guy.. mad and numb at the same time, and yes questions will never be answered.

[@melodies...3062]

She Talks A LOT .... But she's NOT SAYING ANYTHING. SHE JUST DON'T GET IT. SORRY,THIS IS A BIG NO FOR ME

[@AA-mi4zg]

That's because Ted Talks are worthless.

[@vosaemify]

Way to judge someone for expressing in their own way about what they were going through. People like her are brave. People like you are silly. How do you critique someone's way of expressing loss and grief?

[@FireWork-nc8ib]

​@@vosaemify... Because suicide is not about her or how she feels , the most important is how the death felt before he was gone .

[@larryshao1359]

Wow, beautifully said

[@Maravedi44]

All this academic talk about suicide is largely off key. Forget the neurotransmitters... Sometimes life just crashes on you. The floor falls out from beneath your feet.. You get hit so hard in the gut you can't catch your breath...

[@DonnaOpulento]

I could not stand to listen to the end. This woman left me feeling that she is a selfish person.

[@SuperVladdrakula]

"This woman left me feeling that she is a selfish person." Oh, you think? _She's_ the one who should be "forgiven", not the other way around...

[@javinbeatty664]

thank you so much! My father killed himself and just hearing someone else talk about this it helped a lot

[@johndoyle1810]

I was suicidal and self harmed,i did not want to go on.your insight is great,but i felt at the time it was my option

[@johndoyle1810]

@Tibi Soli thank you so much for your message best wishes to you

[@rebelliouzonce5647]

@@johndoyle1810 i hope your feeling alright John.

[@johndoyle1810]

@@rebelliouzonce5647 thank you so much for your wishes unfortunately i have developed multiple sclerosis because i believe that my brain damaged through being bullied,alas it’s something i can’t prove.But I’m very annoyed with myself for not being able to expose the people that bulliedme.But anyway i just ask for a prayer

[@nishatsemonty2476]

I don't know much. I am just tired. I am just scared of waking up from sleep. I just need more sleep. I just want be removed.

[@rachelkohler2019]

Thank you for this. This has helped me understand my feelings about my friend's suicide

[@xMCgirl26x]

Thank you, Rachel Brennan.

[@user-wb2yv7ll9d]

Maybe he was no longer able to enjoy the "little" things you mentioned. Sometimes there is brain damage and severe depression so it's no longer pleasurable to take a warm shower and you are not able to have a good night's sleep or enjoy dipping your toast in eggs.

[@klanderkal]

I thought this as well... Depression just robbs you of simple pleasures, .. and doesn't allow you to do anything. The inability to experience pleasure is horrible.

[@sonicfoxxmusic4281]

"WHY? by Jasmine Lamport" was written about the utter devastation which was left in the wake of the loss of the lyricist's niece to a suicide. Allowing for repetition, there are only 19 actual words in the song but Jasmine pulled of something both beautiful and special...we hope you will agree. Best wishes go out to Rachel Brennan from the writers of WHY?. Rachel's words here touched the lyricist greatly. We hope somebody can find Rachel and play WHY? to her. The lyricist says "Rachel, of all folk, will connect to this song. It's original working title was "KIM"...Kim's place in the world is given a credit on the online version of the song.

[@omayma4453]

I think lots of people watching this video are suicidal people, and they get frustraded to the fact that we suicide loss survivors get angry sometimes with the person that left us behind. I think this is not the right video to comment your frustrations on and saying it is selfish to be angry or that we are making it about ourselves and not about them. Remember the pain for them is over, it's us who are still here struggling to live a long life without our person who chose not to be here with us anymore. You will never know what it feels like until it happens to you, I hope you never know.

[@klanderkal]

Very well said. T.Y. ❤

[@mhyntea]

Oh, I know. I know someone who died of suicide. It will be wrong of me to be angry at them for making the choice that they did. Its not about me. They were in pain, they were suffering. I'm just sad theyreno longer here.

[@omayma4453]

"It will be wrong..." no, honey. No emotion is wrong or right. You don't get to tell me what emotion is wrong or right after losing the love of my life.

[@JamesSmith-ix5jd]

In my country if so called doctors conclude that you are indeed suicidal they lock you up in a mental facility with terrible conditions, so that you can't do it to yourself or to others. Not even relatives can take you from there until so called doctors approve it. So seeking help is not an option, plus, even if by some miracle they say your condition is not critical, you will still have mental condition stuck to your name forever, which means hard to find a job and things like that. No wonder people are not talking about their issues before doing it, the society hates suicide, and this video proves it.

[@elizabethharvester6111]

Yes, agreed. And this video talks about all the burden getting placed onto the person who is already suffering tremendous amounts of pain and exhaustion. If humans were able to live in sustainable, caring communities - not systems - you would not face the stigma of your pain nor would you be stuck in a mental facility. We cannot rely on governments to take care of us - the People have to do it ourselves.

[@SHurd-rc2go]

What a terrific speaker on this sad subject.

[@acwesty]

@@Colby00 Have you ever experienced losing someone to suicide before? Anger is a normal part of the grieving process. That feeling that they chose to kill themselves and were okay leaving us to deal with the pain of their loss for the rest of our lives is quite a powerful feeling that is difficult to process and let go of.

[@Max-hq2ip]

@@acwestywell said

[@UnderTakerSilverMaker]

Womp womp. Never heard someone say "I, myself, me. me me me." so many times while talking about two people's suicides. god damn. She doesn't have a clue.

[@dankamke8605]

While the physical portion may be correct in most cases I think there is also the lack of hope being a major factor.

[@elizabethharvester6111]

And a lack of connection or belonging.

[@MichaelJordan-hi4ed]

I don't want to kill myself. I just want some people to forget that I ever existed

[@TheJacob5676]

This whole idea that if you go get help you'll feel better is a lie

[@HuongLe-ex5zl]

Accept this: When a person wants to die, they want to die. If they don't see any values/meaing in being alive and being with their family, friends,. If they see their need to end it all is the most important thing, they are beyond help. They don't need you. Period. They are NOT who they were or who you know. For example, an 'old' best friend is not your (best) friend now. Don't seek answers from such a person or within yourself. Give your self a week max and move on. Life is too precious to waste on the why. Move on.

[@harrywynn3727]

very well said.

[@mamashanshan2772]

This really helped. I just lost my beautiful niece, bless forever, she absolutely brought a lot of life & love into our family and our world... I shared this on FB asking family and friends to please hear this.

[@Paul-ex9vx]

I'm really sorry for your loss, I hope you and your family will eventually get better. Lots of love

[@pepeeldelaspipas124]

Look... A loss is a loss and for that I feel sorry for you but... I cannot understand why you think that you need to forgive them. As someone who has attempted suicide maybe I'm biased but , i see what she is saying is that she thinks that her uncle and cousins committing suicide was to hurt her, to make her feel bad , to angry her, etc bc that's why you forgive people , bc they did something bad to you, something that was intended to hurt you. What I get is that she was just so self absorbed that she took the choice of a loved one as something personal, and that it's not okay. I don't understand why she is saying that you should forgive someone who committed suicide as if they did something completely inappropriate (I'm not saying committing suicide is the right choice to make I'm just saying that there's a reason behind that choice) and without thinking bout it with the intention to hurt you. I just don't understand that she is preaching that message bc what I get she is saying is that you shouldn't commit suicide (you shouldn't ok?) and that if you do it is for the sole purpose of hurting your loved ones, and i know that she says that then she tries to understand why they did it but the message she's trying to give is the one I said (and if it isn't then srry but that what it seems)

[@johnangel4527]

Hmm, I think you may have missed the point, my friend. Have you ever lost a loved one to suicide? It is a complicated and painful grieving process full of resentment and even hatred at times. Not because you think your loved one killed themselves because of you, but because your loved one purposefully separated themselves from you. You don’t want to feel resentment after the fact, because part of you knows they are at peace now, but nonetheless finding forgiveness that they left you can be very grounding and healthy. No where in the talk did I hear this young woman mention thinking they killed themselves to hurt her. She experienced a very painful trauma, and calling her self absorbed seems slightly inappropriate given the context of this talk. I am sorry to hear about your own attempted suicide, I would not wish that kind of pain on my worse enemy. I hope you are in a better place now.

[@pepeeldelaspipas124]

@@johnangel4527 i get your point and understand what you said. I'm not denying that her loss is something bad at all and I do recognize that calling her self absorbed might have been a bit much. However I think that the choice of words, "forgiveness", "forgive what they've done" is rather inappropriate due to the connotation of the words and assumptions it has to it. I understand that she was in deep pain due to it and I can more or less understand why she thought she had to forgive them. I didn't mean my comment as something hurtful towards her or anyone and I might have snapped a bit and for that I apologise.

[@pepeeldelaspipas124]

@@Livingmybestlife678 I'm really sorry you had to go through that, really. But as I explained in another comment , i don't think that the choice of words like "forgiving" was too good, due to the meaning it carries. I'm deeply sorry if my comment affected you in any way and I'm deeply sorry for your loss.

[@johnangel4527]

@@pepeeldelaspipas124 I've read that psychologists typically define forgiveness as "a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment" She felt resentment, and she made the conscious decision to release that feeling because she believed that is what was best for her. It does not mean that someone has to do something objectively "wrong" for you to personally choose to forgive them, what is and isn't worthy of forgiving is entirely subjective.

[@pepeeldelaspipas124]

@@johnangel4527 i get where you are coming from , but i did not mean anything malicious w my comment but the message that some people, who don't know how exactly psychogists define the word, receive is the one I stated. I just think that it could have been worded differently, I'm not saying her feelings are wrong or invalid, but rather the choice of words was inappropriate as not everyone watching this is a psychologist or knows their definition, or if at least she could have explained in depth the feeling that she meant instead of reducing it to simply forgiveness

[@busterdafydd3096]

1:43... Pleasure is greatest when shared with people... That is where happyness will begin.

[@benjamintilodi7010]

These people just get tired of everything, it’s exhausting.

[@vantablackmamba9232]

Alot of the time pain washes out all those little things

[@Greatideas100]

Wow, this hit hard. And it is so true. Just lost an ex-gf to suicide. Tragic. Sad.

[@illest2001]

“They’ll never be answers if they were thinking about you” unless you happen to be part of their suicide note

[@glasstumble1677]

Soul talks about this. The small things in life.

[@joshfreman]

The mere fact that you came from a loving family disqualifies you from making any sort of judgment or having any idea what it's like to come from a sick and twisted family... If you would like to educate yourself to a degree that you may be qualified to comment intelligently on the subject of suicide please look up Gabor Mate on KZbin and listen to him very carefully over and over for a couple of months and then you may be able to make a constructive commentary on the subject... May God bless us all 🙏

[@laurasilvera3766]

Suicide is about the people who do it. My sister attempted suicide just yesterday. My parents found her on time to take her to the doctor. She is recovering. How to live with that? I need help

[@mariettaberry1711]

How is your sister doing now? How are you REALLY doing?

[@michaeljohns8817]

Thank you for sharing

[@TRIS77_]

this was terrible. anyone like me understands why this TED talk sucked.

[@klanderkal]

I understand. I don't like it when the speaker laughs, smiles, jokes... when the topics are very serious. I'd like to have speakers express the real feelings.... that way I can relate to the real pain I'm experiencing. T.Y. 🫶

[@0i0l0o]

I am sick and tired of listening "suicide is never the answer". It means you do not get it. Everything is subjective, what makes sense or what are your capacities to handle some situation. Suicide takes away possibilities and that is a major issue, but in itself, is not that hard to understand. If you ever felt tired so much you would prefer beign sleep all the time, not blaming anyone or anything, not even yourself. And understanding everyones perspective. But it just happend this is too much and its maybe time to go. No harsh feelings. Even realizing that your life was good and probably more fun and interesting and more meaningful comparing to other lifes you know. Still, you simply want to say (and do): over and out. I understand what this girl is saying and I am sorry. But they do not need your forgivness. Maybe you do and thats cool and it will lower the weight of anger. But if you think you are the main victim here, its too ego-centric. It means that you feel that their main purpose on this world is to make you happy and not to disturbe you. I am not saying that you think this way generally, but there are some implications in your speech. Ffs, suicide ia not selfish. But saying that it is, is selfish.

[@erinkeeley3453]

She specifically said suicide isn’t selfish in the talk, seems like you missed that. “Once you come to terms with the fact that they weren’t trying to hurt you, that they weren’t being selfish...” near the end of the talk around the 11:20 mark, I would try listening again.

[@elizabethharvester6111]

@@erinkeeley3453 Her remark about not being selfish wasn't the only problem in her TED talk. She looked at it all through her lens of privilege and the little bit of research she did on brain chemicals. I found her talk to be insulting and inauthentic. It puts all the blame or responsibility on the person who died from suicide and none on the fact that we are living in an isolated, status and material wealth obsessed system that not everyone can survive in.

[@staffsargemobuto]

This girl understands nothing. You can't fathom the darkness unless you've been inside of it.

[@baazinews1027]

True. I was like her once. But now i'm where her uncle is. Never imagined ..

[@mannurse7421]

Thanks for sharing your experience.

[@debasreetenyson5386]

I am currently dealing with the loss of my father due to the same.. it's horrible.

[@barbarastroud4102]

Ask somebody struggling very seriously with suicide right now. I can say that this video at least half way through is disappointing. I've heard I so many I've heard so many positive things being said about loved ones and all. I can wonder is how many times those positive things were said to the loved ones. It's really easy to remember the great things about someone after they are dead.

[@hardeelynvillalva7035]

Ngl the first half pmo but wow oh wow. I felt seen and understood. Thank you for this.

[@beganitdidnt6535]

they probably had hard lives something you might not of knew of or maybe you cant grasp the concept of what a hard life is they ended their pain but of course youre most affected right? idk how someone can be mad at someone for ending their life not everyone has a good life

[@contecrayononpaper]

I failed capitalism; capitalism failed me. That is my reasoning.