Unlikely lines from the final Harry Potter book | Mock the Week - BBC

[@shaneturner500]

hugh dennis really does think the worst things to hear... he would be an awesome horror movie villain.

[@crissy4445]

I love how aggressively they go for the mike

[@ProfessorHeavyTF2]

Except sometimes you can see moments when they're letting each other go to the mic. Classic Britain.

[@gooscarguitar]

Best moment ever was when two of them went for the mic at the same time, both backed away at the same time and someone else just walked right up there xD

[@britishbr0456]

crissy4445 Poor Mike, what did he do?

[@d.m8321]

mic*

[@EzraDair]

crissy4445 mic

[@aminadaifi6762]

“Mr Potter,” the doctor said, “you’ve been in a coma for the past seven years. You ran headfirst into a brick wall.”

[@zaramalik3797]

no

[@MythicSuns]

@@zaramalik3797 no?

[@mrtom2854]

@@MythicSuns yes

[@MythicSuns]

@@mrtom2854 maybe

[@psionicinversion]

hahahah

[@ProfessorHeavyTF2]

I know this isn't what this video is, but Hugh's Tannoy System jokes are amazing.

[@chunguangliu7082]

"Avada Ke-" Voldemort began. But it was too late. The loud bang resonated through the courtyard. "I've always known these muggle weapons had some use." Harry said, dusting the barrel.

[@tygrkhat4087]

Pretty much the ending for the movie "Wizards."

[@Nathanchooper]

Hiding in the bathroom where no one could see what they were doing, Harry handed Ron a vile of polyjuice potion and exclaimed "No Ron, this time it's your turn to be Hermione!"

[@Slam_24]

Nathanchooper F... I’ve never thought about it like that

[@firstnamelastname7113]

*vial

[@InstaMullet96]

4665

[@alansmithee419]

*Vial

[@alansmithee419]

@@firstnamelastname7113 oh... Now I am redundant. :(

[@curlyj2059]

I love how you can just hear random giggles from Russel near the end lol

[@indiahunter2097]

Most of these were basically fanfiction lines

[@gamemaster613]

With Ron lost in the forbidden forest, Hermione regretted not shaving before their date.

[@Oden667]

Anyone else got to the stage where they've viewed every scenes we'd like to see video with Frankie Boyle about 10 times each?

[@katharinegould8347]

Yep.

[@rukhsarahmed]

Yes! And I'm addicted completely!

[@brucerouffian2630]

At least.

[@BlueBagger83]

10??? Amateur. lol

[@malgorzatapiasecka1043]

The Glasgow and tiger enclosure ones 😭🤣 couldn’t breathe

[@br00t4lbreakdownzfuk]

THEY CUT MY FAVOURITE '"I'm glad they let Irvine Welsh write a chapter," said Harry, and as the methadone hit his system, he shat himself.'

[@notAshildr]

"Engorgio" Harry said, his wand pointing downwards.

[@ScottBurgoyne]

"Second floor, but you can't get out.." hahahahah!

[@TheGarytankcommander]

Unbuttoning his zip? Lol

[@maskedmagician5620]

Crusty The Wank Sock how can you unbutton a zip..?

[@robbiecale3327]

Just Some Clipz their only material (if you can call it that) is sex gags

[@saltycakez]

Robbie Cale 10% of this video was sex gags. You’re gonna have to try a little better

[@Samizouza]

Its definitely Hogwarts School of Pedophilia and Debauchery

[@FattMan]

They left out Hughes best line from that episode Clean up on aisle 3 clean up on aisle 3 , somebody has come on the brocoli

[@MadDirectionerGirl]

This was uploaded almost a decade ago omg 😱

[@LJV3NOM]

Maddy Gowers 9 years

[@aisey100]

Thanks for pointing out that 9 years ago is almost a decade. *facepalms*

[@LJV3NOM]

aisey100 you're welcome

[@no1jazzfran]

ghdgf

[@dragoncurveenthusiast]

Now it's over a decade

[@andrewfenn3019]

With one bite of the magic cookies, all the male students of Gryffindor house couldn't stop giggling. Needless to say, Harrys hashish biscuito spell worked perfectly.

[@moxgirl5]

ONLY YOU CAN HEAR ME...

[@gustgost3937]

Hey we must have watched thè same video

[@ilikecoldcase]

Megan O ONLY YOU CAN READ THIS COMMENT......

[@zacharychisholm1032]

Not only do I love Frankie's jokes, but his laugh is brilliant too.

[@StitchingSword]

"Get the snitch" said Harry "I'll tie him down and you can drill into his kneecaps" Hahahaha

[@brrrrr12]

"Harry always thought that he'd meet his death at the hands of Voldemort, so imagine his surprise when the doctors told him, that he was HIV positive". LOL ;D

[@resourcedragon]

The thing is, there's about a 20 - 40 year gap between a diagnosis of HIV positive these days and death, so Harry could still have met his end at Voldemort's hands. The interesting question is, how did Harry become HIV positive?

[@Samizouza]

@@resourcedragon Can only imagine who it was if it wasn't from Hermione

[@6695Christian]

Howard and Boyle are so well in sync!

[@oludotunjohnshowemimo434]

Frankie Boyle, coming up with the best and funniest lines on the spot that will be hard to match. He takes his jokes to the edge and has a dark sense of humour to it.

[@kkwillsaveus]

Love how eager Hugh was to get that last joke in, was well worth it.

[@joey4track]

Damnit, I knew if I clicked on this clip it would start a domino effect of me watching MtW for the next 2 hours.. Curse you Frankie Boyle and Hugh Dennis!!

[@chloemoe2k7]

"Second floor, but you can't get out..." lmao love that one :P

[@mannelshah]

this is like "whose line is it anyway" ... i have to admit, i don't get all of the jokes but i'm glad i found this ^^

[@mrtom2854]

The Catholic School one got me 😂

[@TyTye]

its funny because its true

[@maxroyston5342]

I think most of them are talking about harry potter fanfiction

[@supekele]

Holy shit this round was dark hahahaha

[@Wickedrichus]

Lol at Russell's laugh at 3:41

[@alexwarwick1030]

1:40 the old Harambe

[@Lord_Skeptic]

passengers traveling to hogwarts please be aware the the train has been diverted to platform 6 2/3. that could be for either of them.

[@garethmoriarty9538]

"Voldemort tried to find Harry, but he couldn't smell him out."

[@robbiecale3327]

Gaz Moriarty not funny at all

[@elineverstraeten1872]

very funny

[@stephenmurphy2212]

But he had slits for nostrils lol

[@Nameless164]

2:35 Frankies little grin makes it all the more funny.

[@Andy1iswicked]

"the planes about to land in Glasgow, passengers are reminded to set their watches back 25 years"

[@GeronimoAlligator]

the cheeky giggle in the last seconds makes this video perfect

[@KurtCobainsMicrophone]

Haha ive noticed that the funniest comedians are always Scottish. Proud to be Scottish :)

[@DCVertigo]

I wouldnt say that about that particular scot

[@KurtCobainsMicrophone]

DCVertigo I'm saying that the funniest are usually scottish. I'm not saying it entirely about Frankie Boyle.

[@stalinov91]

When you can understand what they're saying.

[@KurtCobainsMicrophone]

Stalinov Only a scottish person can truely understand some of the jokes.

[@ferasalhati8713]

U should be ^_^

[@322Megan]

the first one and russell howard at 0.55 is the best haha!!! x

[@asjpeake]

"I'm sorry, Harry. I'm having a baby and it's yours..... said Professor McGonagall" LMAO

[@Kleavers]

These people and jokes are genius. Why don't we have shows like this?

[@Tanonev12]

"Second floor...but you can't get out" "The lift doors are closing...leaving you trapped in an airless, windowless coffin, hurtling downwards at 100 miles per hour" Hugh Dennis is a genius xD

[@CHRISDABAHIA]

Hugh Dennis is wonderful! I love him!

[@biatch1600]

Frankie Boyle the legend

[@xxMsAmzxx]

the first line made me burst out with laughter! "Only you can hear me." LOOOOOOL

[@jessicaable5095]

then Harry woke up and took a moment to wonder who all the men in white coats were and why he was wearing a straight jacket.

[@lemongirlohyeah]

"Things we'd like to see" always makes me smile :D

[@Lord_Skeptic]

A lot of people going on about unbutoning the zip. Most trousers with a zip have a button at the top of the zip. She means unbutoning the button at the top of the zip.

[@rustkarl]

Franky was on fire here. But that snitch one was amazing

[@DragonofLyoko]

"Only you can hear me!" "Second floor, but you can't get out..." "the lift doors are closing leaving you trapped in an airless, windowless coffin. Travelling downwards at 100mph" LOLZ Jigsaw much? absolutely hilarious!

[@xbtsot7x]

absolutely love russells little laugh at 3:42. :D x

[@SuperMarioDWfan]

Hugh is genius :P

[@JuliaSnoops]

I love the cute franticness of Mark Watson! Looking forward to going to see him in October.

[@calaulton3604]

The catholic school joke got me in bits

[@Guffunklefish01]

when hugh denniss does his lift jokes his face goes so dark and scary! XD love him xxx

[@laurencechen2386]

"Get the Snitch!"said Harry. "I'll tie him down and you can drill through his kneecaps."

[@DanSallis]

I just always love how Dara says 'everyone' its so funny! xD

[@jamieA7Xfan90]

"Don't worry, Hermione. I can get rid of it for you. Chlamydia disappearo" 😂😂😂

[@andrediamond4374]

Scenes we'd like to see is the best idea in comedy since knock knock jokes😂

[@Lord_Skeptic]

shall we use the invisibility potion to spy on Hermione while she is having a shower

[@NavaneetKrishnanVenkatesan]

@scramignon brilliant! i had no idea! thanks for the link!

[@sergei_djg5415]

domt worry hermion. FETUS DELUTS!

[@Shinx990]

I love hugh during this. I'm pretty sure he's demented.

[@romanxxxxyoutube]

Harry: At least I don't have to carry a wand and chant shitty spells all the time in Now You see me 2!

[@Domunication]

Second floor, but you can't get out. I love Hugh's sense of humor

[@jaggass]

''will the parents of the lost child realise that they shouldnt have gone to dinner whilst their kids were asleep with the hotel room door unlocked''

[@jackwilliamthorne8377]

That is dark

[@TheAnimaAnimal]

Anyone else who just loves Russell's giggles? Especially at 3:42

[@SamJones-x7q]

I am going to play 1:20 in a lift one day...

[@ellenmelon771]

lol love how Hugh does all the creepy ones! xXx

[@sattarix2160]

2:20 "un buttoning his *ZIP*"

[@tombstonerforever9374]

CrystalDragon Rage innit

[@yasfiramadhan9127]

frankie had the best harry potter one, hiv positive lmao

[@JackdaMan171]

"And then Harry woke up under the staircase. THE END."

[@jasonworth7244]

"Only you can hear me!" Nice one, Hugh! xD

[@mushroomhead3619]

Voldemort: "Im ever so sorry Harry that I killed your parents."

[@DreadPyke]

You know Hugh is the best!

[@colomski2742]

9 years ago. Jesus

[@Harrypottergirl13DH]

i read the title and immediatle thought ... "russell is going to be in his element" because we know he loves these jokes lol x

[@jaggass]

jo cauldfield sounded exactly like someone over a tannoy.

[@FlusteredGuy]

@indigocoil No worries :)! It's quite funny though that she said unbuttoning instead of unzipping. I suppose she prefers the buttoned trousers :P!

[@Lord_Skeptic]

Hermione was showing Ron how to use his wand. I bet she was.

[@jaggass]

''my magic tricks are much better than paul daniels said harry''

[@asmartistenthusiast3469]

Frankie and Hugh are the kings.

[@epicotakucherry5280]

Does that bald guy ever get to go. XD

[@MattDurand96]

best line fomk thi "Im sorry harry im having a baby and its yours....said proffesor mogonagal". I love mock of the week. :D

[@diranbodossian6061]

"Why are you still reading this, you're 35"

[@NicolaOwen]

hehe I like how a bunch of them keep approaching the microphone at the same time

[@glesni3167]

Kid who fell into a lion enclosure- they didn't kill the lion #justiceforharambe

[@chaelpsonnen5092]

Tytus931 why are u you piece of shit

[@cityofasthma]

Jakob Lambson why are you so aggressive?

[@XTRMSystems]

Frankie Boyle is funny almost everytime... he is clearly the funniest :D

[@SjaanK85]

Hermione: "Ron, I have your child in me belly, and I want to keep it." Ron: "Well I bloody don't, FETUS DELETUS!!"

[@jamieb1830]

1:13 Aaaand ten years later there was one

[@craigmclennan6284]

.....this is from eleven years ago. O_O

[@kngiht84]

Yes I know it sounds weird! But in the UK, we have a lot of trousers that are buttoned where the zip is normally.

[@wildtyler101]

And Voldemort said to Harry with his dying breath; "Harry, I am your father."

[@sammi8696]

ladies and gentleman we all know there will be a bomb on the tube but will it be today!!! lmao brilliant

[@26CW128Jake]

1:38 HARAMBE TRIGGERED

[@GrigoryTingus]

i love it how 3 of them just start walking to the mic at the same time

[@clement2780]

What's a tannoy system?

[@lukerogers151]

So, if you're at a supermarket or a train station, the voice you'll hear over the speakers is called a tannoy system. Hope that helps :)

[@wennethicus5212]

Guessing he's from place where the don't use the word 'tannoy'? Or maybe he just doesn't know what it means? Or maybe he's retarded. Find out next week on Dragon Ball Z!

[@theScorpion87]

"Tannoy" is a British term for a public address system. It is not commonly used outside of the UK

[@0fc188]

Basically a tannoy system is a cheap lazyass way to announce something to the whole place Instead of announcing it in the store

[@Gallers]

@Xbot70 I think it's produced by the same blokes who came up with Whose Line is it Anyway? They're British and the show first aired over here in about 1989.

[@Dedition]

That last joke was disgustingly dumb.