Unlikely things to hear on a TV police show | Mock the Week - BBC

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Watch the BBC first on iPlayer 👉 bbc.in/iPlayer... The performers suggest unlikely things to hear on a TV police show in Scenes We'd Like to See.
Comedy show combining the best elements of panel show, stand-up and improvised games with two teams of comedians taking a satirical swipe at the news and world events.
Dara O Briain and Hugh Dennis examine the events of the week.
Mock the Week | Series 16 Episode 10 | BBC
#BBC #MockTheWeek
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[@eeveecash4276]

"Hate crime?" "No I love crime." My favourite Hugh Dennis Quote

[@kamenanew9867]

"it's what I do"

[@jaggass]

''Is there a really good reason why you shouldn't be given a long sentence? ''Im dyslexic''

[@FeyTheBin]

You made me spit my drink. Props for you

[@TheUrbanmeister]

So very, very bad it's brilliant. I laughed out loud. Kudos.

[@clockworkkirlia7475]

Ohhh nooooo you made me do my worst laugh. I call it the The "Inhaling Jimmy Carr"...

[@Mrcheckpointeh]

@@clockworkkirlia7475 why would you inhale Jimmy Carr?

[@danimayb]

@@Mrcheckpointeh Cause he likes the smell of tax money?

[@BaccaPrincess]

“We’ve searched the suspect’s room and we found traces of semen, alcohol, and cocaine. Our conclusion - Absolute legend” I actual lost it at that 😂

[@EzraDair]

Sid X ugh

[@antarchi80]

Someone with a BTS profile pic + watches weird English comedies = amazing person, have a nice day ❤️😂

[@chrismorgan3137]

This line totally made up for James Acaster's weirdness

[@freddier5376]

Glenn Moore is brilliant

[@AnnaPxx]

A brilliant dirty joke, very well delivered, even better as you would not expect it from such a loveable nerdy giant 😂😉

[@curiousgangsta]

I see Acaster, I click.

[@h4724-q6j]

hollaname I think that's why he's in most of their thumbnails.

[@plutocchio2360]

Same

[@ANDREWOS93]

Dont get the obsession with Acaster, he’s really not that funny

[@jacksmith3105]

Andrew O' Sullivan same

[@jamesmartin9401]

Because he's so frickin' odd. You have to know what's knocking around in that head of his.

[@Strutsss]

"You're trying to tell me that a Kop cop on clip clops tried to clip Klopp?" Brilliant.

[@ThePlamzJoker]

That one takes a bit of practice!

[@TheCloverBeanFTW]

who is the guy that said it>

[@DudeIHateThisChannelName]

The cop caught on clip-clips clipped Klopp*

[@TheCloverBeanFTW]

He is just trying to imitate Acasters robo cop joke....

[@ViolentFEAR]

@@TheCloverBeanFTW Acaster didn't invent word play humour....

[@Halinspark]

Gapyear Detective could actually be a good show.

[@iz723]

James Acaster is the best

[@eidothea]

Surely it's Glenn Moore?

[@Sameer-Mustafah-Raza1-2-1]

He ain't better than Hugh Dennis in my humble opinion!

[@vaan1520]

acaster and dennis rubbish as usual!

[@PLANTY676]

Wish Frankie Boyle was still on here

[@sparda100]

berm because everyone has different comedic tastes you tosser

[@WardyLion]

“We’ve no leads and no suspect...what do you think, Inspector Morse?” “-... - -. - ... -. - - -...-.”

[@AslanW]

Wtf why would he say that?

[@edwardharriss1463]

Morse code

[@Me-fo1kk]

Crack...

[@fds7476]

"BTNTSNTT#"?

[@nantrax143]

James' face @ 1:42 is one of satisfaction of a joke well done. 😂

[@NosajKnows]

Love it when new people are funny!

[@ScoopMeisterGeneral]

That image of Dara peeping out from behind the 2 at the end is actually quite creepy.

[@clockworkkirlia7475]

They couldn't fit his whole head in there.

[@watcherofclassics]

Kop cop on clip-clops clipped Kop. Now *that's* a tongue-twister! XD

[@MercenaryPen]

I thought it was clipped Klopp at the end there.

[@loganmclarry]

It was clipped Klopp

[@lucaskennington9101]

Logan Clarry Jurgen Klopp.

[@loganmclarry]

L&R II I know who Jürgen Klopp is

[@corriedebeer799]

How do they come up with that shit HAHA!

[@Me-fo1kk]

Dude in the glasses!! Killing it!

[@bluebear1985]

I think that dude in the glasses is Glenn Moore.

[@bleedinell8405]

Glenn's voice one had me in tears!

[@WardyLion]

“We’ve arrested the suspect, Sarge!” “That’s the bloody actor from the reconstruction!”

[@jaggass]

''The Police siren doesn't work on this car so you're gonna shout nee naa nee naa really loud through the window''

[@FeyTheBin]

I miss Andy Parsons too

[@dozog]

Yep, you should have stopped before the first one.

[@konnermb]

I am a simple man. I see James Acaster, I like.

[@FloralMedic]

“What do you mean he murdered someone?” “That can’t be possible” “That’s illegal!”

[@tizzieblack3384]

So much new talent turned up on this programme. I want it back.

[@tanker4516]

*you ask me to reconstruct the crime thus I killed someone* lol

[@TS-tf9bb]

New guy is good 👌

[@aaronhurst4379]

Shame this is the only episode he's been in to date. Would love to see more of him on MTW

[@CodxMasterxJoey]

whats his name? wanna watch more of his standup

[@Sara-tl7hn]

I’m dying st the gap year detective 😩

[@AliMakaveli]

*Hugh and Dara the last ones remaining*

[@mfitzburger5137]

"We don't need the others..."

[@li-23]

There can be only one!

[@tonkinstinelord6747]

“After you leave then I will have one” *Hugh Dennis

[@JoeSmith-dq8cm]

"Come out with your hands up!" "Oh, uh, okay... I'm gay."

[@erinobrien8408]

James Acaster: everyone's favourite little brother! 😂

[@daruddock]

Kerry Godliman is hilarious!

[@andrewfenn3019]

"When forensics arrive, let them know that, as per usual, a lot of the semen is courtesy of, yours truly." You gotta hand it to Kerry Godliman for keeping a smile after that.

[@Pippi-rippi]

The guy in the glasses was actually really good

[@edwardharriss1463]

"So we took some samples from the crime scene but the chocolates are actually available from the hotel lobby so you know....."

[@elsmell]

James acaster is and always will be my favourite British comedian

[@p.atrick.]

I agree 100%

[@thesurgeon6473]

"I think the killer is right under our noses" *Sniffs cocaine* "Shit"

[@idc6031]

I really want to see Richard Ayoade(?) on this

[@DrZaius3141]

Idk... he doesn't do well in a format where people fight for screen time.

[@gregoryuk]

Oh, you'll alter my voice afterwards.....? Best of this edit.

[@Algahiem]

My entries: "Well, first he in chocolatey, then he was in creamy, then caramelly and now, he's in custody" "It's the former girl group Bananarama, Sarge. They've all been arrested and now stand accused of love in the first degree ." "No officer! Please! You can't arrest me! I'm innocent! Everyone loves me! I played Cliff Huxtable for 8 years! I did all those pudding commercials! I created Fat Albert, for God's sake!"

[@clockworkkirlia7475]

CUSTARDY HAH

[@FrancoisDressler]

Hugh Dennis is incredibly prolific.

[@dez3540]

James Acaster is such a legend

[@Lowdo1549]

What a surprise, Nish Kumar shouting 😂

[@kylestubbs8867]

1:12 Might be my favorite one of these.

[@adamdrummer1991]

That moment when Kerry looks at James and cracks up...hehe

[@jaggass]

''Mr Hawking you have the right to remain silent''

[@MattyAhoy.]

Michael Langley please stop.

[@apophis7712]

Awkward...

[@hazeltree7738]

@@Rain-Man915 You called?

[@IrukaSaaan]

Glenn is fantastic!

[@georgspielberger9780]

I love the second one!😂

[@chrisgarton4225]

Wait a second, that looks like me with a bunch of my haters going against me with the SWAT team

[@wisteela]

Gap Year Detective sounds like something I'd watch.

[@melsyoutube]

the guy in the suit had banger after banger!!!

[@mikespenser4013]

Angela , that birds, a bit of all right!

[@benjarvis340]

1:50 Yes, just yes

[@misterss8778]

Gap year detective 😂

[@jonicthedgehog]

"You're under arrest for indecent exposure! Put your hands in the air a-- Oh god put them back, Put them back!!"

[@kylestubbs8867]

The one at 1:14 deserves more credit.

[@samuelculy655]

1:55 Amazing

[@andrewfenn3019]

"Sarge, we believe that this was a murder suicide. Our evidence suggests that the suspect shot this victim in the head, then turned the gun on himself. Like this." BANG!!!!

[@cinammondream]

I lost my shit at Gap Year Detective

[@alexfenner7832]

1:55 I’m dead

[@danajones3889]

This shows how talented these comedians are. No writers.

[@MunnayShahTekken]

Hugh Dennis is still the best tho

[@Blizzard0fOz93]

0:26 this begs the question: how the HELL would a person with no hands be able to directly kill someone? like, I get that there's poison, or if they had assistance, maybe a gun or something like that, but aside from that, what would they be able to even hold the weapon with? and if it's with their legs, how would they be able to not only not drop it, but produce sufficient force to land a killing blow? seriously, that would be the absolute WORST HAND-icap, for a murderer. ... I'm not apologizing. Neither for the pun itself, nor the effort I went through to make it.

[@jaggass]

''We have now completed the post mortem of this gay man. He died from sniffing too much crack''

[@Lethalshiz]

jesus jibbs cut him some slack, stay blessed JB x

[@YodaOnDMT]

It's pronounced _'Gap yah'._ I totally chundered all over the place!

[@mikespenser4013]

Great accent Nish!

[@brain_apostrophe_t]

Gloves... yeah fair point....

[@ashleyp.4932]

So, James does his joke, then walks off. The blonde lady (sorry, don't know her name) comes on and as the audience is still laughing at James she looks across at him. Where is he looking and it seems like he is talking to himself... See 1:40. Is he working on his next gag?

[@p.atrick.]

Probably tbh that is also why sometimes people don't laugh at other people's jokes cuz they're planning one themself. 👍👍

[@p.atrick.]

That's also kinda just Acaster's persona

[@arthurvasey]

Kerry Godliman, her name is - the other girl with the red hair is Angela Barnes - both cute, IMHO!

[@casbot71]

@@arthurvasey Angela? I thought it was Tina, which would've made the blondes joke about not wearing make-up a bit of a dig.

[@gentianviolet2785]

Help me I'm stuck in this loop again.

[@chrisgarton4225]

Hey you watching the show, is this your car?

[@ianhill4585]

Who's the bloke in the glasses? He owned that segment, really who is he? A name?

[@diehardrvdfan22]

That would be Glenn Moore.

[@DarylVanHumbeck]

Somebody explain to me why "Gap Year Detective" still hasn't been made?!

[@chrisgarton4225]

It seemed that these thieves opened the safe with their toes so they wouldn’t leave fingerprints

[@johnnymilne552]

1:34 what is with that wheezy laugh dara

[@SidneyBroadshead]

*Mock the Week* (S16 Ep10; September 29, 2017) Presenter: Dara O'Briain Team 1: Glenn Moore (captain), Kerri Godliman, Nish Kumar. Team 2: Angela Barnes, Hugh Dennis (captain), James Acaster.

[@Rukky98]

A caster is my fave

[@cecilyk2406]

James Acaster is a fucking legend

[@davidedwards3361]

Police want to interview a man wearing a pink bra and frilly knickers. Unfortunately, their sergeant has told them they have to wear their regular uniform.

[@TheUKNutter]

How do they even think of these responses?

[@alanj9391]

Rehearsals

[@FooBarBash]

Who is that tall sexy comedian with glasses who is suddenly slaying Mock the Week? I've not laughed that hard in a while.

[@Barely_Edited]

Leo King, just in case you hadn’t found by now - I believe he’s Glenn Moore.

[@IlGreven]

"Ma'am, we got the forensics report back, and it says the victim had cervical cancer. Oh, sorry, ma'am, that's your smear test."

[@mezykin]

James Acaster is a fucking genius

[@chrisgarton4225]

So if I’m not supposed to be seen, why are you filmming me?

[@MultiVince95]

Nice

[@maetamonxg7718]

I would watch Gap Year Detective

[@JhullyAmilly]

Gap year detective should be a show

[@jaym826]

Whos the fella with glasses and grey suit/tie combo.

[@laurenscott1386]

Jay M Just in case you hadn’t found him yet, his name is Glenn Moore :)

[@cidudefive]

0:52 I wish Angela Barnes would say that to me on my birthday.

[@TheArcher101]

That football manager one 😂

[@PalmsEdits]

Glenn Moore!!!!

[@user-kq7rs2qg7d]

who's the tall guy with glasses

[@dozog]

Colette Adams. Stephen Merchant.

[@michaelrawson6261]

Dozo G:... it's not Stephen bloody Merchant!!!

[@WardyLion]

“Hate Crime? I’m a police-officer, of course I fucking hate crime!”

[@chrisgarton4225]

So the speed limit sign said forty five miles per hour. Sorry I have to give you this ticket because you were supposed to drive ten miles over the speed limit.

[@nithyasris7276]

Kop.. Klopp wow

[@georgewalker2497]

What happened everyone’s gone apart from hugh

[@Alex-jb2vb]

Acaster 🙌

[@thesurgeon6473]

Kerry is really funny

[@boiledkettles6066]

Oh my god I bloody love James XD

[@chrisgarton4225]

Oh no, the local public radio station has been robbed. The robber got away with one hunded thousand pounds worth of pledges.

[@propsyeyav7001]

What does the beeping indicate???

[@krillabner]

That the next person should go up

[@BedsitBob]

Angela Barnes can go down on me, for a long time.

[@Curezmfker]

Reminds me of ”Whose line is it anyways?”

[@lewis616]

I heard they know what the theme of the question is before the show so they can write jokes it still very funny but they could be honest that they are written jokes

[@lewis616]

yeah probably you're right

[@ashleyp.4932]

But a lot of shows do this. After all, it's better to have a couple of jokes ready to go and then build on it, rather than having six comedians standing there looking blank while they try and put a joke together. Also, of course, sometimes the topics are around stuff a comedian has done before, or possibly in their own act.

[@eclectica1]

To the best of my knowledge, nobody has ever denied that they do such a thing.

[@satchelyork]

of course it's written, even pros aren't that funny off the cuff. who's line was also fake improv and all written

[@BigD1987]

Yeah, no. These are all improvised, as far as I can tell. The jokes you see in the finished product are just the ones that landed. Occasionally, they'll leave in actors flubbing their bits, but they also have blooper reels.

[@iangrubb6470]

Anyone notice how James Acaster looks like Rodney?? Just saying......!!!

[@childinhojr2311]

Who’s the person 2:30 please ?

[@dez3540]

Glenn Moore

[@carlmaster9690]

Hilarious

[@Me-fo1kk]

So...Humpty Dumpty fell off the wall.. Right then ..time to unscamble this mystery...