UNREAL: Life With Depersonalisation Disorder (A Short Film by Joe Perkins)

Depersonalisation Disorder - or DPD for short. One of the most under-recognised conditions that affects a significant number of people worldwide. I've had it for over a decade now - and it's had a colossal impact on my life.
The psychology behind DPD is somewhat complex, but one of the biggest issues for sufferers - aside from trying to overcome it - is trying to explain to other people what it feels like; how it affects us; how we can experience emotions and reality very differently from everybody else. This condition is often fairly invisible from the outside, but has a hugely detrimental & damaging effect on the people it affects.
This short film depicts the real-world ramifications of living with it from my point of view - somebody who experiences 24/7, chronic DPD which I never get any relief from. How has it impacted my life? How does it make me feel?
For more information, please search 'DPD Diaries' - my other channel where I upload videos explaining more about this condition and answering questions about it. Or, you can contact me directly at [e-mail] to ask me anything you want.
There is now a charity for Depersonalisation. Based in the UK but operating globally, Unreal aims to support people with lived experience of the condition, offer peer support events, lobby the UK government, raise awareness of the condition within both society & medical circles, etc. I'm a board member, along with notable figures within the world of DP such as Jane Charlton & Dr Elaine Hunter, and with Professor Anthony David & singer-songwriter Dodie as our ambassadors. Please find out more about the charity & what we offer here: www.unrealuk.org
If you are struggling with your mental health & feel that you are in crisis, I would urge you to seek immediate advice from a mental health team or other health professional - or speak to the Samaritans on 116 123 (within the UK)
© Copyright Joe Perkins 2018
All rights reserved.

[@HannahT714]

every day question... Am I gonna be like this forever? I look forward to dreams. Dreams feel more real than reality

[@saraimilan9075]

sAme

[@profd65]

No, not necessarily. I suffered from depersonalization + severe anxiety BAD in my 20's--I had to be hospitalized twice, etc. But I eventually snapped out of it.

[@thc7865]

profd65 how long you had it for

[@Babybabe979]

I know exactly what u mean when dreams are real and reality is a dream

[@mooselove]

I’ve been suffering with it for 24 years... some times it’s a bit better, sometimes it’s completely impairing. No medicine or diet or exercise or anything has cured me.

[@princessrocks2882]

Emotional numbness is very difficult it’s like my mind is blank and empty of thought like I’ve lost my personality and who I am.

[@sussychachi]

Same I feel detached and blank and am just living in the motions with no real purpose or meaning no real personality just living everyday the same and in pain in fear and I take comfort in sleep but I dislike the feeling when I wake up and am back and I ha e to repeat the same thing act normal but I know I'm not

[@ok-mr3on]

Can someone please fucking help me fix this shit it’s controlled my life for years

[@polo3583]

blue how old are u

[@ok-mr3on]

@@polo3583 why?

[@polo3583]

blue don’t question me just answer or I can’t help u..

[@user-gw5jn3xv1y]

This video is amazing. Anyone who doesn’t suffer really do not understand. From being told “it’s all in your head” or “just don’t think about it”... I’ve been suffering from dpd 4 months now. Constantly checking and hoping I feel real. My surroundings feel real. But they don’t. Having conversations then completely forgetting what it was about 10 minuets later. No longer being able to enjoy life like you use to. It’s all so so real and so so distressing. I hope more awareness is made so people realize it’s not in our heads. I’m 19.. my life shouldn’t be taken away from me at 19. Update: 1 year later and I’m only seeing most of these replies. Thankfully with some good news. After suffering for what felt like forever my body slowly turned back to itself. I can happily say I am dpdr free! I have my bad days but I’ve thought myself to control over impulsive thoughts when it “heightens”. Thanks for all the lovely replies and I hope you all recover, have hope, it gets better 💕

[@AndreA-pn5ev]

Hey Ella, I just wanted to let you know that after my 4 months mark it was around the time where I had days without thinking about it. Now it's been one year and around 3 months. I wish someone out there told me it wasn't always gonna feel hopeless, you will gain control back, believe me. One day will go by without thinking about it and the next thing you know it will be weeks and so on. Everyone is different but one thing that helped me that may or may not help you: I stopped researching so much about it. The same way our brain put us in this situation, it will get out. I wish you and everyone here the best because I know how it feels when you're at the worst. Also, if anyone wants to ask about my experience feel free to do so.

[@Haan-jg7it]

Ella Leonard I know exactly how you feel. I’m 15 and I’ve had it for my whole life, but no one believes me because they just don’t understand :(

[@SueTheKid]

Text me on instagram @the.anoj i suffer from this it feels like your trapped in your mind

[@andreslara2377]

Hi Ella. I absolutely feel you. My mind is telling me even this isn’t real but I’m trying to just believe that I’m not alone. You’re right. This isn’t fair at such a young bright age that this is happening to us. But we have to stay strong. Meditate by repeating assuring words. I’m gonna pray for you and for everyone suffering from this. Just know I’m thinking about you and everyone else and you’re not alone. I just ask you do the same for me. Lots of love to you and everyone else, we could all use some❤️❤️.

[@andreslara2377]

Andre A Hey Andre, I’m Andres and I’d love to know how I can get into contact with you so maybe you can help me feel some relief and help me feel better.

[@BigManDov]

For me is like being drunk 24/7, I can still feel everything from emotions to pain but it feels unreal

[@mariaday4495]

Jesus is the answer❤

[@scarfacebeatz5753]

It goes away. Good luck to everyone that still has this.

[@rajaalahmar4371]

Scarface Beatz did it go away for u??

[@profd65]

@@rajaalahmar4371 It went away for me, and I had it bad for six or seven years. Don't lose hope.

[@parttime_kpopstan8061]

@@patrickjones8276 Accept it, don't fight agaisnt it. Stop checking in the mirror if you are "real" and stop checking your surroundings for being "real". Distract yourself by doing what you love.

[@mrknowmyself]

It goes away. Ask yourself. What is the thing that make you worried fundamentally? What is the core problem in your life? Find it. Solve it day by day little by little. Don’t feel rushed. If the problem is too big, break it into pieces. Solve it one after another. I had it for 7 years and now Im almost free from it.

[@cintiahexgrill]

Yes, it goes away for people who have it as a symptom not as a diagnosis, DPD is commonly an anxiety and depression symptom so when you treat those you get rid of DPD, but as far as I can see you can have relapses and have DPD as a symptom again.

[@IbrahimAli-cl1yw]

20+ years 24/7 ive been suffering from this that "wake up" part of the video hit so hard it made me cry it's a beautiful video man. Hope we all get back to normal someday. Someday I will wake up!

[@SillChill]

Ditto, next year makes my second decade.

[@gillianmcatee5378]

I Fell into a world of unreality 8 years ago and have never came out it, this is like something you would see in a horror movie, I can't even remember what the real world feels like. The first few years I was obsessed with finding a cure it's been that long now that even if I did come out it I doubt it would be a easy transition back into the real world will I have another 8 years adapting back , will that be just as bad ? . I see this condition as a physical one , it affects my vision & hearing. This is such a unknown condition yet I believe its the most terrifying mental health condition there is. I wish there was assisted suicide in my country.

[@IbrahimAli-cl1yw]

@@gillianmcatee5378 if you have no one to talk to about this we could have a conversation in private. Suicide is not a solution

[@IbrahimAli-cl1yw]

@@gillianmcatee5378I posted a comment but idk what happened to it. Anyway, if you have no one to talk to about this stuff we can have a discussion in private. Suicide is not a solution

[@larajoy2067]

I’m 18 and I’ve had dpdr for as long as I can remember. That final sentence hit me hard cuz I realized I have absolutely no hope of ever “waking up”. Honestly I hardly even remember what a “normal” perception of reality is like.

[@lisamiller-gk5cn]

I have no hope too, because i have it for 22y now (24/7) It makes me feel so lonely, because for me it's like being trapped in my own mind, and i just see how everybody (family/ boyfriend/ friends..) are living their lives.. and i.. am just.. not in this world somehow.. and moreover, if i meet random people, or even friends, i can't tell them my problem.. that too makes me feel lonely.. depersonalization makes me suffer, every day, every moment. i wish you all the best! i wish that you will feel the world! that you feel "normal"! (if you want we could write each other..?)

[@apekshadargude7228]

Same

[@ftbballah]

It does come back. Sometimes I’m walking on the sidewalk to/from class or work, and I take a moment to notice the grass in a way I hadn’t before. It feels like time pauses, and in that instance sometimes I can re-understand what reality feels like. In that state of mind the very concept of depersonalization feels so foreign and unrelatable, but inevitably it returns and reality becomes distant. Just know that your dpdp mindset is not permanent, and the glimpses of real ness are worth it.

[@joaquinclemens6698]

I’m in the same exact boat. This disorder is costing me my relationship. It’s made even worse because my significant other will never understand how deep I am in this. I forget things more and more. I can’t sympathize with my significant other’s complaints. I grew up walking on egg shells and I still do. The few moments I did have free of this, I cried because it felt good. It has only ever gotten worse but then again my family rejects the idea that anything is wrong with me. I wish everyone luck with waking from this stale nightmare.

[@wonton5016]

Same, I’m 13, and I remember it since forever (professionally diagnosed not self diagnosed). I thought it was normal for up to grade 3. It was never pleasant, but I assumed everyone had it. It only got worse, from lasting a couple hours at a time to 24/7. Idk what to do about it

[@TalkwithFizza]

'sleep is the only time my mind is at peace'... That one hit hard

[@BigBadBobby1234]

Joe, I am fighting back tears right now because my 25 y/o Son suffered for eight (8) long years with DPD. As he battled the severe Depersonalization, he fell into extreme depression which was followed by drug use, three unsuccessful suicide attempts and then on June 15th, 2017 he wrote his Mom and me a "Good-Bye" letter and intentionally Over-dosed, which left him brain-dead and ultimately he donated his heart and liver to some more elderly men here in the NJ / NY area. Your Doc / Film here is simply the BEST thing I've seen or read to help describe the disorder to the people who do NOT understand it. I applaud you for your work. SOmeday I hope the Psychiatric community will research the disorder, because more and more people are getting it from strong weed, MDMA, drugs, trauma, etc. etc.....GREAT JOB MY FRIEND - SO SORRY YOU HAVE TO SUFFER WITH DPD......Please hang in there is all I can say !! May someone or something BLESS YOU!

[@mariaday4495]

JESUS IS THE ANSWER AND THE ONLY WAY

[@deadlyshadowninja]

I watch this video every day just to know I’m not alone

[@user-pl5in5uy1e]

God bless

[@patrickcampbell815]

to get better, stop watching these videos. don’t obsess over it. i know that is really hard when feeling emotionally numb, but trust me, doing the things you used to love and getting some physical activity will seriously help. I’m starting to recover after just 2 months. it gets better. i promise. you are not alone at all. god bless you.

[@sensei_oh_yeah_yeahduncan4705]

@@patrickcampbell815 i rlly do hope it gets better ive been suffering for so long it good to know that im not alone

[@pollynlyubenova8365]

Which is a mistake because that way you are constantly reminding yourself that you have it. The key is to not pay attention to it.

[@deadlyshadowninja]

@@pollynlyubenova8365 I suppose that's true yeah

[@AJ-oj7jv]

been dealing with this for 4 years now i fear ill never come back

[@profd65]

I suffered from it for six or seven years, and I too thought I was stuck feeling that way forever. But I snapped out of it.

[@shadowdagoat999]

Try to clear your mind

[@rajaalahmar4371]

@@profd65 tips?

[@ghoste_girll]

@@rajaalahmar4371 just don't think of it so much and let the feeling sink in don't run away from it, relax, breathe in when u feel trapped, also focus on ur surroundings and think happy stuff , i have it very badly but when i get a panic attack i do those and it calms me

[@beachsatan1078]

@@ghoste_girll I'm 13 and I have dp how old r u

[@Jawnjawn4949]

8 years for me. We all deserve a medal,a million dollars and a model girlfriend for the amount of suffering we've had to endure. Great video btw.

[@jeremygalloway3921]

7 for me man, prayers it'll someday pass 🙌

[@shadowdagoat999]

Try to clear your and don't think too much

[@turtledicc4630]

Jeremy Galloway great now i know its not getting better soon

[@shuvodeep]

I am too I suffered for 3 months then I took help from KZbinr Swami G.

[@thc7865]

S Pal is it gone?

[@andromedanalien1617]

Made me cry... Lived with this for 7 years now.. Every day. Every waking moment... And no one understands. so this really hit my heart. and made me FEEL.

[@allysonstumpf5691]

Hang in there. This is exactly what I go through 24/7 as well. we can do it!

[@isaiahgarcia4815]

@@allysonstumpf5691 hey there I wanted to ask if I could talk to you and ddd I would like to see how others feels had it for 1 year now never was the same since I have to talk to someone

[@allysonstumpf5691]

@@isaiahgarcia4815 of course! I would be willing to talk

[@saifanali3rdaccount162]

I am too nervous to tell anybody I don't know what to do

[@MJT68HS]

I’ve experienced this for over ten years. I can’t begin to explain how scared I was in the beginning, how crazy I felt and no matter what I did made it go away. Years of being confused and feelings alone no matter how many people in my life cared for me. They all saw someone that seemed so normal and would never even guess for a second that i was dealing with this internally. No matter how bad it was to me, everyone else only saw a person that functions the same as them. I’ve learned that this makes us more human and for same then any other that doesn’t suffer with this. Because the emotions they run away from and want to wish away we the sufferers of this chase more then anything else. We want to be what everyone else denies and doesn’t want to feel. The good and the bad because this has taught me how to see the positive in anything. I wouldn’t trade places with anyone for even a second because I know I was lucky to turn out this way. I help people deal with their problems and emotions because I understand them more then I should. But I ask myself everyday how I can understand something that I haven’t felt in over a decade. Depersonalization makes you understand all of people’s feelings because being detached from them makes it where it can’t hurt you no matter how close the danger seems. I want to help people so they can never even come close to feeling what this is like. Something that makes us feel as we aren’t real, we are watching our lives play out as if we are watching it inside our own heads in a movie theater, but at the same time feel as if we are floating above our own bodies, blurred vision and having an autopilot, time never seeming to take as long as it should and waking up to look in a mirror and see a human look back at you that you feel you don’t even know. Accepting all of that was harder then it should have but once I did I learned so much about myself and everything around me. There’s an end to this hallway of confusion, you may not see an end but it’s there. What you also don’t see is others in your life that also deal with this. I’ve met a number of people like us and it helps to know that you aren’t alone. Helping each other can show us the way out of this darkness because someone else might have a spare battery for that flashlight that died without you noticing. You aren’t alone and the more you realize that the better it gets, because the way out isn’t a door just for you but for the people you meet along the way that also deal with this. Just have to look for them, because they might be someone you care about. Hiding this isn’t going to help, it only makes it worse.

[@sensei_oh_yeah_yeahduncan4705]

Dude i can tell uve been suffering for a decade the way u were able to describe it was unreal ive had it for i would say 5 to 6 years and i still cant describe how i feel i would say im in the confused state i try to describe wat i feel to myself every day but i gues i dont got enough understanding of wat i feel or enough wisdom but i loved the part where u talked about the blurred vision and watching from the theatre and autopilot and the understanding emotions even though uve been so detached thank u for typing this whole paragraph it rlly helps man but did u ever over come it ? This comment is 11 months old so i was wondering if ur still suffering

[@leahflower9924]

same here i went through this since at least sophmore year of high school didn't even know it was a condition i just thought i was crazy or living in a fantasy world because my real life sucks. Is this directly related to trauma?

[@OBrien-hi9zq]

@@leahflower9924 Since it’s been a longtime since you’ve wrote this question I’m sure you’ve already answered your question; but in case you haven’t I’ve noticed that it doesn’t always have to be from trauma but it can also be caused my anxiety, a bad weed trip and probably others.

[@leannelessordinary4027]

I've had depersonalisation for more than half of my life and it's devastating to think of how much I've lost because of it. It's robbed me of my potential in terms of education and work ambition, it's impacted friendships, and I worry that it'll someday take my relationship too. I relate to this video so much, from the way that you experience depersonalisation to the way that others perceive you - people can never quite believe that I have this condition, I'm so bubbly, I'm so happy! But the closer they get, the more apparent my detachment is - I can come across as distant, rude, or like I'm not listening. It's a tremendously difficult condition to live with, and I wouldn't wish it on anybody...that said, there is something unifying in discovering that there are other people out there who, too, suffer with depersonalisation, and it does help me to feel less alone. I've struggled with this condition for so long: I've fought to understand my own emotions (or lack thereof); I've fought for a diagnosis for years (and have been persistently misdiagnosed/told that I feel 'sad' or 'low' - I wish more doctors would listen when I say I simply feel nothing at all!); I've spent a fortune on private therapy because, for some reason, doctors don't want to let me try any medication other than Sertraline because, if that doesn't work, nothing will. I do feel as if a lack of discussion around depersonalisation is a huge part of the problem, though I am encouraged by other people's stories that they have been able to try various forms of medication or therapy (to varying levels of success). It encourages me to keep trying. I disagree with a previous comment that somebody left about this being a 'self-pity' disorder - if one thing is for certain, it's that I am determined to beat this thing and I am hellbent on not letting it get in the way of my life. I'm 26 and I feel myself getting older every day; I'm aware of how much I've lost as a result of my depersonalisation, but over the last couple of years I've been trying my best to reignite that light inside of me. To engage in old hobbies. To see the world. To be more social, more connected, more present. It's an uphill battle, and it's certainly difficult to disregard that I have this disorder (how can I stand in the middle of Shibuya, Tokyo, under neon lights, but everything still feels muted..?), but I'm trying my best. I don't pity myself with this disorder; I'm increasingly determined to beat it. But as I said before, the conversation around it needs to improve - whether socially, or in the world of medicine and therapy (one therapist called me an 'anomaly' for feeling this way for so long - not exactly helpful!). This is a very valuable, clear video, Joe - I know I'm a couple of years late to the party, but thanks for sharing.

[@KSM-mu3xx]

I'm truly moved by what you had to say. If you feel thats what you have keep checking with more professionals and see. I had this for 16 years and when I was a kid I knew there would be no point in telling my relatives because they would just tell me I didn't get enough sleep or didn't eat well etc so as a kid I was helpless and couldn't get prefessional help because I didn't bother trying to convince my relatives. I got out. How? During a period of depression, I was verbally attacked by someone who I held very dear to me and it opened up horrible memories to the past. I went into smth like PTSD and felt the dam of numbed emotions break down and start raining on me. Then 2 years with PTSD ish symptoms later (I didnt get any of this diagnosed like you but I didnt get the oppertunity to, its not that the doctors rejected it), I did Melanie Tonia Evans inner child healing (on her website there is this healing method where for free, they make you go into a semi deep sleep and fix up problems in your subconscious). I did that and woke from the sleep free of these dpdr symptoms. I had a spiritual awakening as well and I started to know what it feels to be real again. I hope and pray you get better too.

[@livingwithbipolardisorder-7339]

shadiya milhan i dont understand how though, i’ve had this for 5-6 years and honestly don’t see how this is any different than schizophrenia. i want this to be gone as well even when i don’t think about it i still feel stuffs wrong. i have the mental health disorder not from having been on weed for so long then having these side effects. i remember the first case back in second grade where i would pinch myself. also i’m not saying you’re not correct, but i just don’t see how you can simply forget about it.

[@andromedanalien1617]

Thank you for sharing this..

[@dinasalimova3298]

Wow, what a moving comment! I am very interested to know, how you are feeling now. What medications do you take? Have your life become more real in terms of emotions?

[@mariaday4495]

Jesus is the answer and the only way out

[@okaycarla9639]

This made me cry. I’ve been feeling like this for a year and a half now and I didn’t know what it was until now.

[@mattesrocket]

Have you seen his other channel already kzbin.info/door/LWBz3-L508RX3QtwI7BJZw

[@saberghafoor]

Hi have had this condition for a year now. It is a severe disability. My life has completely changed. But with the help of Allah I stay strong and continue with life as best as possible.

[@DJxSGGxNeo]

Did you figure out how to get out? If you didn't get a fix let me know I will share some things which I used each time.

[@saberghafoor]

@@DJxSGGxNeo I'm actually better now. It was a really slow process but Allah (God) cured me & gave me the strength to persevere. Honestly it was a really difficult few years but here I am today. Thank you for your offer of support and I pray that Allah keeps you safe and well Insha’Allah (God willing)

[@wildnight5396]

@@saberghafoor hi bro can we talk please Like WhatsApp

[@saberghafoor]

@@wildnight5396 Yeah sure no worries.

[@saberghafoor]

Please send me a temporary email address and I'll send you my contact details

[@nangelfrog]

Excellent video, thank you. I've had DPDR since I was 7. I'm now 55. I do have brief periods of 'clarity' but always returns. This video is the closest to explaining depersonalisation although I still have extreme derealisation at times which is when I stay home. Little tip, if you feel like people can see there's something wrong with you (although they can't) I find that wearing sunglasses seems to help me with confidence to go outside. Thanks again I'll be showing this video to those who know of my condition to help them try to understand. Best wishes 💜

[@barschben]

This is beautifully made bro...pls hang in there. I know the unfathomable pain this disorder creates, but we will see the light one day!

[@narayanpaschapur4132]

How much days it takes to recover for you

[@horsiemetaldetecting5975]

@@hunteraxtell2791 the dp part of it i only had temporarily brought on by obsession, thats pretty much not an issue anymore. My DR however ive had 24/7 for 20 years or so. But recently ive found ritalin which, out of all the countless meds ive tried, has made by far the biggest difference in my ability to feel present and enjoy reality. Its still a dream, but at least now i can focus and be much more present wich things instead of completely zoning out all the time. Im in the process of getting a diagnosis for adhd rn. Wether i have it or not, dopaminergic stimulants are what my brain needs. With them supporting me, i may be able to eventually get out, who knows. SInce ritalin my quality of life has definitely improved dramatically. From life almost not being worth living to feeling kinda ok and actually good at times. I can only encourage people who are in as desperate situations as us long term sufferers, to do what they need to do try the meds they think may be a shot. The healthcare system is trash when it comes to this.

[@mariaday4495]

Jesus is the answer

[@gabcrstn9546]

I have DP for 1 year now and this video definitely nail it. Somehow, it's releasing To know that you're not alone. This trouble is terrible, it's like you're anchored and you have to watch everyone around you keep walking forward. Thanks for that video it could make my surrounding understand my feeling, i hope that you'll heal. COURAGE

[@AlgaeCoveredLog]

This video contains many words I've wanted to say for so long... So so long

[@kmrose4741]

My derealization started around the beginning of the pandemic and has continued to this day :(

[@SomethingWet]

How's it going?

[@kmrose4741]

@@SomethingWet I'm actually doing a lot better now. I still deal with derealization but it's not that bad anymore! I appreciate you asking that. It made my day :)

[@sofiaalonso1819]

this is absolutely amazing, i’m been suffering dpd for 7 months now, such a scary world i’m living in right now. forever wishing life goes back to normality. thank you for this video, it explains it so much

[@roxqiapixeluna3330]

How are you doing now?

[@jennekab9124]

Ivsuffer since 3 month and i can't imagine how o should do it for more

[@spedupalbaudios6140]

do you ever feel normal like its real but at the same time you dont , its like youre questioning in your head if this is real , but at the same time you know it is and you keep doing example washing the dishes or sum?

[@mariaday4495]

Jesus is the answer

[@mariaday4495]

​@@jennekab9124Jesus is the answer ❤

[@jkerman5113]

Genius film mate.

[@profd65]

*DON'T LOSE HOPE* I suffered from depersonalization/derealization/horrible anxiety for several years when I was is in my '20s; every fucking day was like a bad dream for me. But I eventually pulled out of it. I'm not exactly mentally "well" now, but at least I'm no longer walking around in a nightmare.

[@zoilaguerrero5872]

How did you do it ?

[@mariaday4495]

Jesus is the answer ❤

[@zephaudi]

It FEELS SO STRANGE.. But.. i tell myself its ok bc ill make it through.. Ugh. Greyscale life. But I'LL BE STRONG!

[@sensei_oh_yeah_yeahduncan4705]

Did u ever make it through?

[@mariaday4495]

Jesus is the answer

[@richellerains1650]

Thank you! Great job describing the day to day of it. 17+ years now. But mine started as severe PTSD...most of the PTSD symptoms are gone...my body is pretty relaxed and I don’t pay much attention to the DPDR...it’s just an annoyance that it’s still lingering because I’m ready for life. What helped there most with my ptsd symptoms has been Neurofeedback...I’ve recently started back up again focusing on left brain right brain stabilization. Random memories from my past keep popping in everyday which tells me my brain is beginning to connect again. Don’t know how long it will take to fully get there, in reality, but it’s soon enough. Everyone is different and it takes people different therapies and amounts of time to heal. Good luck to all. 💗

[@LilyStultz]

How are you doing now?

[@vrushabhmachchh2644]

How are you doing now ?

[@user-pl5in5uy1e]

I would probably wish death on someone before I ever wish this on them.

[@comedydoubledose3212]

i can feel ur pain,i have this for 3 years now and its really frustating when other say that its just in ur head and when they say its just a thought

[@peterdwyer6118]

had this for 27 years. back in the early 90s no one knew what I had neither did the doctors. I wandered for a decade not knowing and lonely af. I wasn't properly diagnosed until over a decade ago. iv just made peace with it. nothing works or fixes it. I'd love to feel real again just for one hour. it's all I ask.

[@SillChill]

In my 19th year of this & I’ve just heard of it this week.

[@robertmac6636]

Hi Peter, It has been the same for me. I have literally had this not feeling real feeling 24/7 for 27 years as well. Still trying to strategize against this thing but we can't give up. It seems like very little helps but I am trying new strategies and will definitely let my newly found brothers in sisters know of any success. Thanks for sharing your comment.

[@laurafabregat3555]

I'm so happy I found this video! I didn't know what kind of problem I have until I found that word: Depersonalisation. It's terrible not being able to feel anything. I just feel numb and dream of becoming the old me. Back then, before I had this problem, I had emotions and saw the beauty everywhere, but not anymore. I don't have a simple depression, that's what my doctors have been telling me the whole past year.

[@mariaday4495]

Jesus is the answer

[@shibumitheartist2964]

The last few worlds really hit home for me. This existence is like being on a train that is constantly increasing in speed and travelling forward, yet when I reflect on it all- nothing has happened differently; all is the same... I am still on a train that is constantly increasing in speed and moving forward.

[@gepavlovichcaligrafia]

Once I suffer of that thank God that sensation is gone 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

[@simseven4967]

To all of you suffering from this condition, healing is possible without meds

[@kosmicwizard]

Jesus, Joe. I had no idea. Your gear reviews are killer. I get overwhelmed when I think about what the other 8 billion people on earth are doing and what I'm missing out on, but from time to time I truly enjoy being in the wonders of nature or deeply connecting with my wife, my 2 year old son or my best friend. Most of the time I'm just going through the motions of the day to day daily grind, but nothing I'm enduring compares to your daily struggles. All I can say is thanks for your bravery in sharing this with us, and I truly hope things get better for you in the future. Cheers! :)

[@2tru2u]

idk if this is just me but it puts my hearing into a scenic mode, like my brain flips a switch after i talk and it sends me into heavy dissociation, it’s hard to explain really, just imagine saying something and then detaching from yourself so bad that you feel like u didn’t say what u just said and someone else did

[@9612martin]

I'm 25, and I remeber glimpses of reality until 5, I just accepted it and continued with my life. Two years ago I found out the term DPDR and ever since tried to explained it to my friends and family, most of them wouldn't understand of course. I recently was told there is a therapy called EMDR which can help with traumas and perhaps make me feel the world again.

[@pollynlyubenova8365]

I've had it for a few years. I'm much better now because I did something fundamental to get better with this condition...not pay attention to it. When you spend a ton of time in this state you just have to let it become your new normal and stop fighting it. The more you fight it, the more you will notice it.

[@syrenka6]

You made my eyes cry

[@bucktrail2358]

Brother Joe, I did not know you were suffering. I'm so sorry. I did not know such a problem existed. Thanks for sharing and educating me on this. Sending good vibes and prayers to you and all who suffer from this. Please know that you are not disappearing in so many eyes. All the best. 😔 🙏

[@MRNBA2K]

5yrs and counting. Perfectly explained. Glad to know I'm not crazy

[@oliv3852]

I hate the fact that i relate to everything said in this video. I don't really know where to get help. I'm still only a minor, just a teen I shouldn't have to be going through this at my age

[@nangelfrog]

You have to talk to your doctor for a referral to a physiatrist/psychologist. I left it till a few years ago after suffering over 40years and to scared to confide in anyone. There are grounding techniques, books and therapy that can help but having an actual diagnosis was a strange relief for me. The mistake I made was going through this my whole life alone. Before going to the doctor make a list of your symptoms and feelings and don't worry if you break down. I did and within 2weeks I was seen by a psychologist who then sent me to a psychiatrist who diagnosed me on the spot. The hardest part is opening up. You're not alone🙏💜

[@selenagomez5337]

This disorder is the most scary thing I ever experienced

[@mariaday4495]

Jesus is the answer ❤

[@AnimeRaindrop]

this video is the only video that will ever fully describe what its like

[@azmagaref]

Not even a million words can fully describe it.

[@AnimeRaindrop]

@@azmagaref no cap

[@shelbeybateman4029]

Very relatable. I only started experiencing dpd about 2 months ago, and it was very scary in the beginning. Such a crazy feeling that Is so hard to explain. I felt like I was crazy when I was trying to explain it to other people. Grounding techniques help somewhat, but I'm just ready to feel 'normal' again.

[@jmtremane]

Same it sucks

[@VISHAL_Ji93]

every day I dream in my sleep ..in days also(when I sleep in day time) ...they seem to be so real ... I hope one day i will beat this shitty situation ..and regularly taking medicines since 2015 ..hope for the better tomorrow....i know its curable ...so make yourself busy doing you like without thinking about dpdr..just make yourself busy..dont think too much about this definatly you will beat this ....

[@RoseLaMort]

When said people can't people you going to a mental hospital my heart jumped. Thats exactly me everyone thinks I'm fine cause I can smile and laugh. I manage bills heck I'm a asstinance manager for crying out loud but inside nothing. I even have trouble loving my kids. Like I'm not living my own life or I can't feel my own emotions. I just found out I have this. I know it must have been hard to film this but thank you so much really. To have a video to show myself and others what i go though is so much greater then any meds. Thank you and stay strong it will get better.

[@scarlettturnip7339]

When i go to sleep, i pray that i don’t wake up. It’s been 45 days since i started praying

[@rosieknight2408]

ive been like this since i was small there are days when i dont know why to anything, days when i look at myself like a stranger, im an actor in a play that i dont recgonise. One day enough will be enough im glad finally there are other people that have this and maybe it will be a recognised disorder but for me it will all be too late

[@elisae4335]

It is a recognized disorder in the DSM 5 p302. Please don't give up. There are treatments for it and CBT therapy you can do. There are research done on it that says that it is biological, related to brain signals technically neurological, another study talked about the ears playing a role in it so do not beat up yourself. It is not your fault if it happens. Get some mental health therapy. It had disappeared on some people. Look into holistic ways too but please don't give up

[@Psych369]

I feel u

[@jaimebaylon5698]

i had this feeling but now I'm ok and back to reality. Prayers and reading the bible really help.

[@louischapman1209]

Wow this video really hit home. Had this for 3 years I wake up every morning with one thought has it gone yet. I honestly don’t know how I function at times. It’s a constant battle, that so far I like to think I’m winning but I honestly can’t put up with this for ever. I look forward to hitting my head on that pillow so I can get be at peace with my mind

[@leonardoteran9988]

This is how I exactly feel every single day, brilliant!

[@cameronadams913]

Oh my god. “Can’t watch the video anyways so why film it?” Exactly!!

[@wilhelmbittrich88]

Thanks for this video. My girlfriend is going through this and it's given me a better understanding. I hope that you're able to get through this.

[@JustenStoodley]

Thank you for being so transparent as you peel back the layers, giving us insight into your ‘inner world’...... you bring forth a lot of legitimate ‘food for thought’. Cheers.

[@brooklynbeyer2494]

Wowow! So good. Thank you for making this 🙏🏼🙏🏼

[@jacksonrjohnson6990]

I’m so happy I stumbled across this beautiful video. I’ve been dealing with it for 2 years now and you explained it all beautifully. Nicely put brother

[@lionheart3292]

Sorry to hear you've had DPD for over a decade. I first began to experince chronic DPD 9.5 months ago and it made me suicidal for the first 4 months. It's a trip man, very wild stuff. Anyways thanks for making this video and sharing it.

[@kirabarsmith9353]

Wow, I was looking through your channel to find your 2019 pedalboard video and came across this. I knew you had a special talent when I watch your guitar related content, but this video is on another level. I wish I had something to offer to help, all I can say is that you've inspired me and many others, and that's a gift to society. Thanks for being so open and real to us, Joe, we appreciate you and wish you nothing but the best life has to offer.

[@SloppyJoes_ShredShack]

love this bro, i hope you find the peace you're looking for one day

[@subashpaudel3029]

This has been happening to me for around 6 months now ! I had generalized anxiety for some years and suddenly this happened to me ! I have not shared this feeling to anyone cause it's so hard to describe at all ! I have been doing meditation for some months now and with spiritual enlightenment ,which I am trying to pursuit , I hope it will get better oneday ! The feeling out of it is nothing else except numbness and when you feel that way , it's hard to focus on goodness ! I hope no human suffers and in these hard tims we need to be more Loving and telling ourselves we are here not forever ! Absorb the pain that comes out of it and One day We are gonna win over it! Bless you all

[@mariaday4495]

Jesus is the answer

[@jorisexner8458]

This is amazing. Many people out there, including me, feel your sorrow. Love your informative music videos and finding this completely blew me away. Dont know what else to say really, just thank you. This is well appreciated.

[@robloxnoob7584]

This was amazing and so accurate.

[@justinec.9678]

I've been struggling w this for like two years and I've never been able to put it into words as well as you did here,thank you so much for helping those struggling w this feel less alone ❤

[@piglet5034]

You've managed to explain this with words. Very well done

[@BigBrain242]

I can't remember much but the things I do remember are being seen in a birdseye view perspective like I'm witnessing it in someone else's eyes watching me do something and because I don't remember much I feel like the people that I've known my whole life are strangers. idrk but when he was describing how things pass by in an instant but very slow it's wild that I understand that completely.

[@aaronlsuton]

Much love Joe… sorry man, I love everything about you and your channel! So blessed to be connected via KZbin!

[@Adventure-Zero]

Damn I'm VERY glad to have found this video. An absolutely amazing job clearly defining and demonstrating the feelings, sensations and actions of a person experiencing DP throughout daily life. My entire life (now 24) have severely struggles to find a way to explain my situation with anyone. Works like this can SERIOUSLY help out a lot of people trying to free themselves from DP by helping them to find a way to convey their internal madness in a way others can understand.

[@curtahnlund3758]

You make amazing videos, God Bless you Joe!

[@elianaroberts5061]

This video had me in tears, It put feelings that I've felt for years in actually words, and the imagery explained it beautifully. Thank you for saying what so many have trouble saying.

[@PhilHeesen]

I've had derealization since 2011. It's been an ass kicker but it has also forced me to grow and improve in ways I wouldn't have otherwise. It still sucks, but just have to keep hoping for relief one day. Thanks for this video, man. You're not alone!

[@fab4647]

Thank you Joe for sharing this with us. I never knew about this 😢 I'm so sorry you and others have to go through this. I will be praying for you Joe 🙏

[@MM-mp2dw]

Joe, you are incredibly eloquent in describing this condition. I am 52 years old and have been suffering from it since the age of 13. I hope you can take some hope if I tell you that from the age of around 30 I had longer periods where I managed to feel alive, at least to 60 to 80% of what I think living life without DP/ DR must be like. if percentages are anything to go by. Therapy and medication did absolutely nothing for me, only relentless ignoring of the DP and DR symptoms and going on with life best possible is what helped. Best regards from Germany!

[@sixbladeknife44]

Takes guts and braveness to put this out there, good on you...I suffer from some stuff myself, my days are a struggle in different ways. I feel for you and I think I can empathize...we all have our own crosses to bare, the only choice we have is to push forward and do our best, we can’t be so hard on ourselves. Watching the vid made me think of the Radiohead song How To Disappear Completely. This condition clearly needs more public awareness, you’ve definitely helped in that regard. And you’re a personable/well spoken and talented guy, take comfort in your strengths and the gifts that you possess. In the end, we’re all just trying to get through and do the best we can...kudos to you, you’re not alone.

[@MsLemonhead]

This video was perfectly done! I just float thru life, haven't accomplished anything, always wonder "am I going crazy?" Or "will I be like this forever?" The last second of the video hit me hard cuz I do this every day as well, "I just hope one day I will wake up!"

[@nettiefaulkner6450]

This video is on point, thank you for doing it and opening the eyes for many many people. Hang in there 😀

[@haloskater24]

It’s crazy that you never know what someone’s going through. I usually go to your channel when I feel like crap as your videos are always high Vibrational for me , keep on Truckin !

[@thesjkexperience]

I can’t believe how productive you are! While I do not have what you do, and I’m old now. I got a movement disorder that prevents me from sleeping for 8 weeks at a time. The results are similar to what you are going through. I wish you the best and your channel keeps me going, so thanks! ❤🎉

[@makaylabrooks]

I love that you created this! I get this!!! I’ve felt this since I was a little kid and didn’t know why and can’t get people to understand ...

[@catalibrk69]

I look in the mirror and I have no clue who i am facing... I can't recognize myself, I am somewhere there, but lost .. May God help us all ! ❤️

[@funckmasta]

This is a great video by a great guy. I highly appreciate all your work. Stay strong, Joe! ❤

[@disorganizedclutter5513]

Wow, so different from my experience. It helps to hear someone else's experience.

[@recklesstoboggan]

Thank you for sharing. Know that you are helping others, even more than you know....even if it doesn't feel like it.

[@21capsules]

I'm a nurse and have experienced this for 4 months. I believe its stemed from chronic anxiety and panic disorder. Its horrible. Constant fatigue too. I keep feeling my blood sugar is low..but it isn't. And blood tests normal. But it happens to me at work too and my work is stressful.

[@amykelley9727]

Same here. I kept eating thinking I needed more food! Our jobs are very stressful so much pressure put on us. Hope you’re doing better.

[@Divineprincessofchalices]

Everyday feels like today. Like presence

[@henrikmichael1875]

Good job sir, this was accurate!

[@PurpleGlobe]

Maybe the best explanation and description of the condition. I'm so sorry you, and so many of us, live like this.

[@jackgilbert5914]

Hey Joe! Found your channel a few weeks back and think you’re doing a great job! I remember you from when I studied at platform one a long time ago. Keep up the great work man and thanks for sharing this with everyone, very important people understand. Cheers and I look forward to any new videos! 🌞🙏

[@StaticYonder]

Why did I know this kid would be a metalhead??? It's terrifying how much I relate to this, especially that he's a Metalhead called Joe...

[@nangelfrog]

Maybe the rock chic in me caused mine too 😁

[@coopertrooper815]

Very good video and sums up all my thoughts exactly. I've had this twice the second time being 4 years and counting. It's truly awful and wouldn't wish it on anyone.

[@naomibaker83]

This is amazingly interesting. So much the world does not know.

[@elenasoriajustamante7935]

Gracias por este vídeo! No se puedo describir mejor este trastorno. Mil gracias por enseñar al mundo como nos sentimos

[@dksdmusic]

Yesterday I got high and it felt more real than my usual self.

[@Mariamk1995]

You hit the nail on the head perfectly. Have been dealing with it for over a year and a half now. DPDR makes it so I'm barely observant anymore. Like, I didn't even notice that you're not American until the @4:15 mark where you're driving on the left side of the road and I started to get anxious because I thought you were on the wrong side and were going to get in an accident, but then I kept watching and my brain finally processed that your accent is different than mine. And then I realized that you weren't on the wrong side of the road where you live... *sigh* Anyways, thank you for this video. It's really nice to know I'm not alone in this everyday fog and emotionlessness. God bless you and Jesus loves you.

[@marijanpalic3064]

thank you for this amazing video. i'm glad to hear that i'm not alone with this feeling. i've been fighting this disorder for a couple a years with no positive movement. nothing has changed. i feel disconnected from my body 24/7. i've tried pills, therapy... but nothing works. sometime is really hard to stay normal and positive

[@terka4310]

this is an absolute accurate masterpiece

[@mrtumnusmusic]

Thanks for this. Hope things have improved for you. I've suffered from a milder form of this for years, which robbed me of the ability to enjoy listening to music most of the time. Thankfully things have gradually improved and are now improving quite dramatically since starting psychodynamic therapy. I think for me it is a reaction to trauma.

[@davoroxi]

Man thank you for this video. This really helps to explain to people what it is. Although even this video dosnt truly explain what it's like.

[@kingtumon]

I go through this. Anything can help, keeping happy and socialising, avoiding depression can help. Worked for me, still gets me daily but feeling better about myself helps.

[@igumzels6033]

You are not alone brother, we will fight it together.