depression, anxiety, depersonalisation

[@TheRealOne2294]

"Objectively I am fine, so why am I not?" I can relate

[@dontmindme.imjustafraidofe9327]

Carlos Morillo WHY DOES THIS MAKE SO MUCH SENSE TO ME?!?!?!?!

[@sonicstar4389]

Don’t mind me. I’m just afraid of everything...

[@isidorodaviddoro1920]

@@dontmindme.imjustafraidofe9327 because This is a good description of depression your life is good you have good grades,friends ,games and good parents but you are not happy you don't know why,your hobbies also get boring

[@asamisato614]

SAME?!

[@depressedalien2112]

In the video Dodie said that as I read your comment

[@floozel7829]

When dodie was trying not to cry it broke my heart :(

[@marlenekostka5974]

IINotKawaii same...

[@geneva1895]

IINotKawaii same here I started sobbing when she cried

[@lexipoo8886]

IINotKawaii SAMe

[@autumnmccomb6647]

It really does hurt

[@rog1star10]

+IINotKawaii Thanks for the Video! Sorry for chiming in, I would appreciate your opinion. Have you heard the talk about - Lammywalness Erase Depression Guide (search on google)? It is a great one of a kind guide for beating depression without the headache. Ive heard some interesting things about it and my cooworker at very last got great success with it.

[@TheNigasJumbaSeeShow]

4:06 broke my heart. i've had that exact same feeling. i think we all wish we could turn back time to when we were younger and things seemmed okay.

[@maddie4423]

sawyer moon almost every time I come back to this video I end up crying

[@michelle-hu9qf]

My face was completely dry the whole time until I got there, then I just broke because it's so relatable.

[@joshuabusst5274]

eve moon why can't I like this 1000 over

[@eddevlin72]

I thought I was the only one to feel like this

[@YM-zf8mt]

wish there ever were some times like these

[@minty.bliss.]

Sometimes I actually believe I'm a side character in a book.

[@Ethan-wf4kh]

Minty Bliss That's alright friend, even sometimes the side characters become heroes at the end :)

[@AwesomeVidsSuomi]

Everyone is they're own main character in their own books. It's a bit weird and actually really interesting that people see, think and live their lives differently. They have their own lives, they live their whole life through their own eyes. Nothing can change that. You will always be your own main character, in your book. We are all main characters, in our own books. and that's what's important to remember.

[@christianfabrizio525]

Damn

[@marymassacre3188]

dude, same.

[@majakaja6663]

Ok that's strange... I feel the same way. Sometimes I narrate what I do in my head. You may have meant something completely different but somwrimws I look at myself as if I am an author narraring a charachters story.

[@softkjs832]

Seeing that everyone is opening up about their own problems, I just want a huge group hug with everyone here

[@江潮-n7w]

Are you Chinese?

[@CrazyKirby]

@@江潮-n7w Sorry I don't speak losing wars

[@JonnesTT]

I'm a year late but I kinda wanna make this happen. Besides a regular group hug, of course, a mega-hug at some fan convention or something where everyone can feel loved anonymously ._. The internet has too little love.

[@emiliew5553]

白空 _hugs everyone watching this video_

[@thelastofrobyn2407]

i get depersonalization every few months or so,usually when im really depressed.its the scariest thing ever,you feel like a ghost just watching a movie but that movie is your life and you cant feel or hear anything properly and anything you say sounds like its from a different person and you are so aware of what everyone thinks of you,,its terrifying

[@NinjaBunni13]

You put it perfectly

[@levipinkman3862]

This is exactly how I experience it

[@livvyeliz1632]

well said

[@emilybarron2675]

very well said

[@ollie8015]

This is exactly how I'm feeling

[@elenoronanga1665]

"When I'm visiting my old home, I'm not visiting 2012, I'm just visiting a house I used to live in. But it's 2016, I'm 21 - and I feel different now" 💔

[@MRSHAWK-eh8em]

That's how I feel

[@bompie6744]

aw TT

[@Catarinense-og8gu]

Jesus loves, and God loves you, it's written the words of Jesus in the Gospel of John 3:16; For God so loved the world, that He gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life. Jesus loves you, have a good day.

[@giftevans984]

@@Catarinense-og8gu 😊☺

[@patriaciasmith3499]

Psilocybin containing mushrooms saved my life. The drastically reduced my benzodiazepine withdrawal allowing me to quite illicit pill addiction after three years of heavy daily use before it would had became medically dangerous to quit. It has also helped me survive depression.

[@elizabethwilliams6651]

@Laura Polonioli I was having this constant, unbearable anxiety because of university stress. Not until I came across dr.sporess, a very intelligent mycologist. He saved my life honestly

[@Barbara-jx4ru]

The Trips I've been having have really helped me a lot,I finally feel in control of my emotions and my future and things that used to be mundane to me now seem incredible and full of nuance on top of that I'm way less driven by my ego and I have alot more empathy as well

[@Jennifer-bw7ku]

@@elizabethwilliams6651 Does dr.sporess ship?

[@elizabethwilliams6651]

@Laura Polonioli @dr.sporess

[@elizabethwilliams6651]

He’s on Insta

[@BriBryontour]

You're a very good egg

[@guidzoe6258]

:)

[@kayleighatkinson9701]

[@cheerykira]

:)

[@conniepickle497]

ily bry teehee

[@alexandraireland8176]

bless

[@AllDaGoodUsernamesWereTaken]

"How can you fight it when the it is the thing you're using to fight with?" - Dodie Clark This is going in my book of quotes

[@nico-ke1nn]

They are wise words

[@leghunter9201]

excarnate the spirit.

[@losers-with-computers2027]

It's so sad that we can't explain our mental illness without trying to frantically explain that we aren't high or aren't on drugs. I dunno it's something I and others have had to say before when explaining how I feel. It's upsetting.

[@losers-with-computers2027]

*when explaining feelings

[@marsdeclue187]

+Losers-With-Computers it really does suck. I've had to convince people I wasn't on drugs just because I felt things that they didn't.

[@izzyl9391]

Well, I'm just glad there are people like you who understand. :)

[@GretaZewe]

+

[@monicachang3054]

+

[@-gf-]

I'm not alone? Depersonalization is real?

[@yourfuturedermatologist..8244]

Action Cat yes

[@hannahholmes1869]

Action Cat I know this was a year ago but.. has your dispersonalization gone away yet? I feel like mine is never gonna go away :(

[@RyanMercil]

I can't believe it either

[@elisademmel6689]

I also have it :)

[@IbarraAlejandro]

@@hannahholmes1869 l feel the same way, and I'm hopeless. 😢😢😢

[@Lepong20]

"I will find a cure" I wish it was that easy, you said that you're happy that some people don't understand because it means they don't feel this way and never have. To me that's one of the worst parts, people not knowing, not understanding and not even trying to understand. People only see what you let them and not what's actually going on inside and that sucks because if I have a broken arm everyone goes "ooh poor Luke he broke his arm" but when you're so depressed you don't have the energy to get out of bed but you can't even sleep people always seem to think that just "getting over it" is an option, but it's never that easy. Even other people with mental illnesses won't be able to understand properly, depression and anxiety are different for everyone and people get it in different severities and none of it is fair at all. More often than I'd care to admit I'll end up crying and screaming begging to know why I'm not normal, wanting to know why it happened to me, what I did to deserve it all but because they are questions without answers it usually just makes me feel worse. I know I'm far from perfect and I know I'm an asshole but I still feel like I don't really deserve everything that has happened to me, and I know I need to talk about it more but when I say thing like this fact to face to someone I either shut down and can't say anything or just cry. I try to joke about everything because that makes it somewhat easier but when it comes to my childhood even trying to joke about it often breaks me. I don't want to just complain to everyone but I know I need to learn to be more open but in my defence, I'm much more open about life than I use to be but I don't like feeling that all I'm I doing is complain to everyone Sorry if anyone actually read all of this I just needed to vent

[@lennysenpai5595]

Lepong20 im here, u can vent, and just to let you know, we love you, and u are strong :3

[@alyssavocadoo]

You can vent whenever you want here! :)

[@bea5123]

i read it too and it's so accurate but everything has an end remember that. -we are all here if u ever need to vent some more, u can even vent to me personally if u want to:)))

[@melgibson202]

Bea Dero You have a cool name.

[@bea5123]

pahaha really? always hated it, but thanks :)

[@stevie]

God, you're so wonderfully important.

[@doddleoddle]

[@saraduty8972]

+doddleoddle you are wonderfully brave for making this video. These are hard things to talk about. I know because I suffer from anxiety too. Keep pressing on....it will get better....I promise. :)

[@alwaysgettingthere]

I understand that you're probably getting advice from everywhere and you probably don't want more. Having said that, I've been told that documenting the good things that happen in pictures and in videos so that you have evidence of them happening and constructing your personal timeline can really help with depersonalisation. It's just a thought. I love you!

[@rennabaker9297]

+

[@phanicattheparamore5834]

aye Stevie you helped me with coming out

[@reharm_reality]

I'm thirteen. I've had suicidal thoughts before, and now I feel like I'm already dead, which is worse. I cried a lot before, but now I feel numb. At night, I can't sleep, and I stare into the darkness for hours, thinking thoughts that really hurt. Sometimes I cry, and it's the biggest relief. Sometimes I have panic attacks, and honestly, they make me feel more normal, because at least that reaction to my depressing thoughts seems more appropriate than being numb. Sometimes I have anxious episodes and think everyone's judging me. Sometimes I welcome death and sometimes I fear it because my life so far has been lived deep in an ocean where there's no one and I haven't had an effect on anyone's life, so if I die I'll have died having had a completely pointless existence of pain. I understand so many things that my mind can't handle. I'm sinking, but I can't tell which way's up. I only know I'm sinking because of the voices that tell me I am. People say they're in my head. That's just an ignorant way of saying the voices are me. Ignorance is bliss. I wish I were ignorant.

[@katieellaway1425]

A writer with a reason to write you are not alone x

[@Emma-nw8xu]

I know you probably don't feel like you have anyone, but you should seek help or even just a bit of advice! Recovery is possible, you just need a bit of hope and guidance along the way :) I hope you find peace soon!

[@alinakeele9547]

I feel the exact same way. I can't help you on all of it but, I do believe or I think I can with feeling important and that you've changed anthers life. I started asking people if I ever had an impact on them or if i ever helped them through a bad day. It was also than I realized who really cares about me. Something else that helped was doing random acts of kindness. Which can go from saying thank you to one of my teachers or smiling at a stranger to going to the soup kitchen and serving meals to the homeless. I suggest little ones first, than if you feel the need move your way up. Lastly something that helped me the most, and I don't know if you are religious or not, but I am and I started praying my Heavenly Father about what i was feeling and he helped me and is still helping me, anyone who's not religious wouldn't understand i don't think and I might sound crazy but without him id probably wouldn't still be here. I hope this helps

[@carolinec.1482]

A writer with a reason to write the song numb by marina and the diamonds describes this feeling well. Her transition into happiness through music is inspiring. If you're looking for a good cry, listen to her

[@mgracex]

A writer with a reason to write - you have many days ahead of you that WILL be better and brighter than the previous, stay strong my friend x

[@MaxV01]

I know this video is really old, but I've been feeling the same lately and this just really helped me and made me feel less alone

[@abbie5448]

Iris Venhuis yeah I fell the same iv felt the same for the past year and it's so annoying I wish it would stop but just know ur not alone 😊

[@carbonarcade1233]

yep same here, it be like that

[@rosemooncrystal3687]

Me too. My animations are based off of how it is but in a comedic way. It's on my channel if you want to check them out :)

[@TortoisePig]

Exactly the case for me too. But you know 1 year later.

[@yin97825]

The most difficult part is to find out whether you are just a spoiled, sheltered brat who needs a slap from the real world or you actually need help from professionals. While I recognise symptoms associated to mental disorders such as depression and anxiety, I do not experience more serious symptoms like panic attacks and suicidal thoughts, making me doubt my own suspicions about the possibility of having mental problems. I honestly cannot tell if I am just seeking attention at this very moment and what I am doing is an insult to people who truly suffer, or I actually need to find a therapist. The counsellor from my previous school is on holiday at the moment and I don't really want to bother her, so I just don't know what to do with myself anymore.

[@evas1080]

I SO understand what you are talking about, I used to feel the exact same way! But here's the thing- everyone's feelings and problems are relevant to them. If you are struggling mentally and it is affecting your everyday life, you should never ever deny yourself help just because someone else out there might have it worse than you do. That's like refusing to go to the doctors to treat your broken wrist because someone else in the world has a broken neck which is more serious. That mentality is useless and will only result in you feeling more guilty and depressed. Talk to someone now before your negative feelings manifest themselves and become 10 times bigger. You deserve true happiness so don't ever believe that you are unworthy of help or treatment. Wish you all the best xx

[@MiguelLopez-el2gp]

go to see a therapist anyway! it will help you clear your mind and understand why you're feeling that way

[@yin97825]

Thank you Eva Kirk and Miguel López. I am trying to make an appointment with a counsellor now, fingers crossed!

[@evas1080]

+Melanie C. well done love, once again I wish you all the best ♥️

[@yin97825]

Eva Kirk Thank you so much!

[@BraxieJacobson]

i love you dodie you're so important

[@randomizedtoki5986]

She is!

[@everose4886]

i agree!

[@clairemiller1227]

Nothing in this video sounded like you were trying to just get attention...thank you for validating your fan's problems...but please know that your problems are valid as well. You are so brave and I'm so impressed by you

[@doddlevloggle]

+Claire Miller

[@klarakeuroeaton5737]

Yes so true

[@poweroftheafro]

+doddlevloggle thank you for sharing this with us. Do whatever you need for you. if it means taking time off for yourself do it we understand. sending lots of love and thoughts your way

[@noadela2717]

i dont even see someone who wrote that

[@daisyvaughn7907]

Well done Dodie! We know it's hard, and you're trying. We support you. Take time off if you need. Mental health issues are a real thing, as important and real as physical health issues - we believe you. Well done for keeping trying. Whatever you need to get better. ❤❤❤

[@hazzonfire5346]

I always get depersonalization at the most weird moments. I'll always be at a friend's house or out at the pool and I just can't function. It's not because of anxiety that I can put my finger on because I don't feel scared I just feel very blank. My eyes sort of glaze over and I end up sitting in a corner for the rest of the night. Sometimes I can barely talk because my words all get jumbled. It's very on and off though and it only occurs very rarely and only for about an hour or so.

[@elismith1307]

hazz on fire that happens to me all the time. It's terrifying.

[@pippa1515]

Same, it always happens to me while traveling when everything around me is already strange enough !

[@heatherglover5499]

Me too!

[@menninkainen4741]

i feel ya. Its scary... Its with me all the time but not so strong always. Its hard to talk when you head is... I dunno.. Empty? Confused? I dunno..

[@chelstui365]

Wait, this is also Depersonalization? When dodie describes it I’m like “that’s happened to me but it only last a short amount of time”. I thought I was just going crazy for a bit.

[@kstorey94]

4:15-4:20 is me at my therapist...even the "dammit!" I cry at everything haha..then get angry at me crying at everything

[@alicewilliams7571]

yea me too

[@Boxes-of]

My first two sessions I was tearing up just walking up the stairs to her office, then once I sat down I just started crying

[@bridgetyu5403]

I'm sorry to be a bother but... Is it weird when I just break down crying in my bed for no reason? And you yell at yourself to stop because there's nothing going on and people are out there doing way worse than you. Then you see these posts about being strong for way to long. And you think that's not me I'm just a whinny little brat. But deep down u think it might be. I don't really know these things happen to me every month of waves of crying for no reason. I have never told anyone about this so :p. But I'm 12 and is it normal to have these things happen? Probably I'm just rambling...

[@kstorey94]

Bri Roster well..I have clinical depression & severe anxiety (yay me..it's not that sad, I'm on meds & life is great again) so I have a bias opinion. It's really healthy to let out your emotions & burst out into tears from time to time. I don't do that..I usually bottle things up until I have no choice but to cry, hence why I break down when I'm at the therapist...I finally face my fears. but she tells me all the time that it's good to cry. I mean, you are 12 so you're probably going through a shit ton of emotional changes bc puberty but I wouldn't let it bother you too much...I don't think you should seek any medical attention for it unless it's affecting your every day life. If you're just breaking down every now & then..whateverrrr..we're all humans, we all cry. You're nothing but normal :P but if it's stopping you from enjoying life, like physically not wanting to get out of bed, not enjoying yourself even though you know you should be (like at a party or with friends), feeling like you aren't inside your body..I'd get some help. Hope that helps.

[@bridgetyu5403]

C. Katrina Storey Thank you so much. I really appreciate it.

[@hamishwoodland7424]

I am pretty sure that none of us were going "just shut up and turn it off". I think a good large section of us were thinking "Oh God please talk to a professional you need support please we love you"

[@hamishwoodland7424]

Yay okay good that was part of the plan. Phew.

[@jazzo8195]

+

[@trinityc8330]

+

[@Micnic111]

why do people keep putting + in comments

[@alissabrown1959]

+Kayla :-/ watch the most recent vlogbrothers video

[@whopanicatthewombatpotterb3498]

the moment when you tried not to cry broke my heart♡

[@inactiveaccount4398]

i broke down at 4:15.

[@callist0406]

Mackenzie Frecloud same

[@miahazen675]

Me too :’(

[@andrewlewis8047]

mackenzie frecloud I 100% feel that. All I want anymore is just to go home. That’s all I’ve wanted for 9 years but realistically I’m the only living member of my family left and everything is gone and there’s nothing there anymore.

[@shelbyblackthorn]

Same

[@Observer1772]

@@andrewlewis8047 stay strong all of you I know I can't tell anyone that I know what they feel like, I know that's not how it works. But I really hope and wish the best for you. it's gonna be fine

[@13blade37]

I always feel like I'm in movie. If I talk to someone it feels staged and odd, like its unreal. Everything feels so distant in that moments.

[@teouscat3353]

Hi. I know this might seem weird and it's a comment that has been posted one year ago, but while I was watching the video, I was thinking of literally what you just said.And when I saw your comment I started tearing up because your words just perfectly match what I'm going through right now. It's been like this for some time...So I thought I'd ask you. Did you manage to overcome it? Are you better now?What helped you?

[@noaguirao6719]

One of my friends one day sayed she was starting to not see, not like blurry or not seeing in the distance, just not seeing. So her mother took her to the doctors and theymade her talk about it and stuff like making her look to letters of different typos and the doctors sayed she was making all up and that she was perfect. She insisted on her mother saying that she was telling the true and that she didn't actually see and her mother took her to another doctor where they looked at her brain (idk). It turned out she had a tumor in her head that was making her lose vision and it was squashing the gland that makes you grow up and puberty and stuff. She could only see with 40% of one eye and with 70% of the other eye. He spent like 3 months in hospital. If her mom hadn' listened to her she could had ended blind and looking like a 9 year old child for the rest of her life

[@clearly_blurry3416]

When I lost my site, my school thought I was cheating on my work because I was asking my friends. My mum believed me though and it turned out that I needed glasses.

[@caylalogan]

this actually happened to me too. they gave me glasses but i still have the blurriness as a symptom of depersonalization

[@robinfox4440]

Doctors saying that kids or young people are "making things up" are just the worst. Proof positive that we live in a culture that devalues young people.

[@stellahesketh6828]

when I had a brain tumor it was in the summer and I had really bad headaches bad I would cry but my mum was like "just drink more water!" And it got to the point my school had to take me to hospital and it was shit

[@myja100]

I really hope everyone is okay now... Sending lots of love and best positive vibes and well wishes! Xxx

[@DrewTabor]

Guuuurl. All too relatable. Especially when you were talking about going back to visit your old family home. So sorry to hear that you've been struggling but it's nice to know that I'm not alone with these feelings and experiences. This video (and your other videos related to mental health) are going to be so helpful to a lot of people. Thank you for continuing to share parts of your story. Sending you lots of love!!

[@doddlevloggle]

Ahhhh dude. I watch your videos on mental health and feel exactly the same. Brains suck. lol. Lots of love also!

[@danielasoteloclaveria9816]

Dodie, if you want to talk to someone, I'm here for u!

[@Bock_bee]

“I just wanted to get into my old bed in my old room and feel normal again.” That alone made me almost start to cry but the way she sounded while she tried to fight back tears is what made me cry.

[@robinsk5644]

Praying for you Shanna. Better days are ahead for you my friend. Always remember, Jesus loves you deeply and passionately no matter what you're feeling or going through. Call upon His name when things get dark. Please take care of yourself.

[@camgoldberg3982]

You are not nearly crazy. Thank you so much for sharing this means a lot to a lot of teens struggling and thank you for letting us know about you and sharing yourself. I hope you are doing okay, I hope you can be okay

[@camgoldberg3982]

And good for you for standing up and taking action, you're very strong for a hard struggle

[@Elfqueen97]

+

[@unusedacc.9575]

This is exactly how I've been feeling for the past year or so. It stated when I was 12 and it's slowly been getting harder and harder to deal with. Up until now I didn't know what it was of how to describe it, but you've put it into words and I wanted to let let you know that I understand how you're feeling, and I hope that one day you'll feel better, as I hope that one day I will too

[@SanabiturAnimaMea]

I hope things get better for you

[@firstnamesurname7640]

Same for me, only I'm not sure how long this has been going on, (at the most three years) and that I don't really feel like this video describes, but I'm close. I'm ten years old, and I'm so confused it almost hurts. I dont know, I just don't know. I don't know who I am, who I want to be, who I should be, or who i should act like. This isn't peer pressure or me wanting to fit in, I just honestly dont know who I am. I think I may have lost my mind, but not in the "I'm going crazy" kind of way, it's more in a "Hey, where did I go? I'm sure I had Me somewhere around here... Hold on, didn't I once have a soul and a sense of purpose once? I wonder where I went..." kind of way. I feel like I put all of Me in a box somewhere while I was working on my brain (as in my knowledge of physics and science and brainy smarts stuff), and when I went back to start working on the rest of me, I found that it was gone. I don't know if this is even real, or something that's made up, but it kind of feels like it is. I feel like I'm not me anymore, but a jumble of other people, jammed together in a makeshift attempt at becoming a person. I think I'll get better though, and maybe it's just maintenance on me again, because I was feeling really depressed and suicidal for a few years, until suddenly I just kind of felt like... I could be happy again. I could smile and laugh and I didn't really see the point in dying anymore. Maybe this will work the same, and one day I'll just wake up and think, "Hm, I know who I am now." and everything will be okay again. And even if it doesn't, I'll get help, and things will be better, at the very least. I'm ten years old, so confused it almost hurts, but I'll be okay.

[@aranara_song]

You will be better =) Distract yourself, do things you love and don't give in to depersonalisation. Be positive and enjoy life. I know that is easier said than done, but that's what I've been doing and it's getting a little bit better. 2 steps forward, 1 step back. This is a slow recovery. We WILL all get out of this! Keep believing, and keep living. Good Luck with your recovery

[@firstnamesurname7640]

Cute Cupcake "Be positive" 😂 That just makes me laugh, being a pessimist down to the deepest pits of my soul, I am a pessimist, and "being positive" isn't exactly one of my strong points. 😂 Thanks for kinda making my day. 😂

[@aranara_song]

Nuala Halpin :) I'm quite pessimist sometimes too, but I've "trained" myself (if that makes any sense) to be positive.

[@Violist99]

I had a similar experience with a doctor. When I was 9 or 10, I began having what I know now were panic attacks. My whole body would go numb, I would shake, cry, it felt like the whole world was collapsing in on me. So my mom took me to the doctor, because she thought maybe I was having seizures or something. They ran a bunch of tests, and they all came back fine. I was healthy. But I wasnt, and I knew I wasnt and when the doctor came back with the test results with the conclusion "You're perfectly healthy, its all in your head" I felt lost. The panic attacks didn't stop. I felt helpless. This is why mental illness awareness is SO SO SO important. Thank you for sharing your story and I wish you the best of luck in finding true happiness again. You are so strong, you can do it ♥️

[@doddlevloggle]

+Violist99 this is so awful! Hope you're finding help now

[@Violist99]

doddlevloggle I did eventually go to counseling and I have been panic attack free for almost 2 years! Thanks so much for replying!

[@gracelm623]

+

[@disconcertedrave]

+

[@jinghay]

When you said "you're problems are not insignificant" i kinda just broke down

[@sophiegrace3704]

i have anxiety and depression as well these super deep thoughts that really freak me out ??? it sounds confusing but i randomly think things like "am i even alive" or "am i imagining my entire life, is anything even real" and sometimes i feel like i'm the only person alive if that makes sense. i know i sound crazy i just need to rant lmao. another thing recently that has been freaking me out is how fast time goes. like you think about a certain event or day for so long, for example, my the 1975 concert. it was november 22nd of this year. i was looking forward to it for so long and then boom, it's over. that's so crazy to me. time just moves so fast it scares me. i've gotten really off topic but i just need to say what i'm feeling and get it off my chest.

[@amberdavison4572]

I hope you're okay sweetie ♥

[@sophiegrace3704]

Amber Davison thank you that means so much ❤️

[@amberdavison4572]

+Sophie Grace it's no problem :) I can't stand seeing/hearing people going through really tough times

[@tjessaa7114]

Omg I feel the same no joke 💕😂

[@LenaGabbani]

Sophie Grace do you also sometimes be going somewhere and when you get back home you be like wait did i really go there ? like ofc you know you went there it's not like you forgot but like you don't feel like you actually did?? i really can't explain it exactly but i hope you know what i mean

[@lexipoo8886]

*Dodie starts tearing up* *I burst into tears*

[@GeorgeofClubs]

It's just astounding how many people will want to hug you after watching this video

[@Hallieisntbritish]

+

[@mdkc]

+

[@ekeetley123]

I wanted to hug her before watching this video. She has mentioned mental illness and generally feeling like utter crap before, but (as she made an entire video dedicated to it) a lot of people only started picking up on it now :( it's a shame to see such a wonderful, caring person have to deal with these awful things

[@cheer6162]

+

[@GeorgeofClubs]

+ekeetley123 I couldn't agree more. Dodie is just so undeserving of anything except happiness. It's so sad that she assumed people would judge her or dismiss her feelings as fake or for attention. She's one of the most genuine KZbinrs out there. I hope she knows what a loving fan base she has, because it's nearly an extra 300,000 reasons for her to get better

[@gnarlyismymiddlename]

I've been having the "drunk" feeling for several months now. Almost like I'm numb and I find myself constantly feeling like this isn't real. I feel like I'm losing my mind.

[@rosieroo6259]

A Reluctant Ham Sandwich has it gone away

[@raphaelmotta7630]

I've had it since I was 18, it's getting better by the day. I feel mostly normal now. There is a cure, see a therapist!

[@gnarlyismymiddlename]

@@rosieroo6259 I didnt get the notification 7 months ago but better late than never. It comes and goes in episodes now. I'm going through one right now actually.

[@morrisseygirlfriend]

@@gnarlyismymiddlename hey. how are you doing now?

[@gnarlyismymiddlename]

@@morrisseygirlfriend hit and miss. Somedays I feel fine, other days Im lost in the haze. A big issue for me was caffeine. Once that was gone, my number of instances went down greatly.

[@TheRainydayvideo]

It's so scary feeling that strange and you can't explain it. I'm glad more people are being open with their symptoms and feelings so people who are going through the same thing can see that it's happening to others too. Good luck in your recovery !

[@SanabiturAnimaMea]

[@TheRainydayvideo]

+Wacky Shenanigans The comment section for this video is such a supportive place.

[@shannjorentwins]

Hello I can relate your story to mine. My boyfriend is my world my soulmate and my my future husband. We met up 4 weeks ago and stayed to his place for 5 days! We celebrate out first anniversary. But now he just broke up with me that he couldn't handle the pressure of being in a relationship and that he doesn't want to be with me! I felt to shocked and cried a lot! He still calls me but never message. I don't know what to do! Anyone please help me what to do! Because I know this is not him! I know he is the loving guy I saw 4 weeks ago and we were so close! Is the depression something to do with this? Or is it just me? I'm truly lost. Need your advice I appreciate it! Thank you!

[@MrBrowni234]

I'm glad her symptoms do not seem so physical because when i went through depression i couldn't eat anything and constantly threw up anything that I've managed to put in my stomach, as well as not being able to go to sleep because of constant heart throbs and anxious thoughts. And all these happened next to the general feeling of being mentally seperated from everyone else like she's describing it. It was definitely the worst phase of my life that I've ever been through but i'm okay now.

[@danielle8877]

Karen, all I can say is that, sweetheart, I promise you that you're going to be just fine. be strong, love!

[@emmataylor8763]

this is so fucking important to me. i don't know why this hits me so hard but i relate to this so intensely. "when the it is the thing you're fighting with" it's so hard. when depression is in your brain so deeply rooted it's eating at your happiness, you can't fight it. mental illness is in your brain. it is invading everything you are because your brain is everything. it really is like a bad dream 24/7 and everything is dulled. sorry for ranting.

[@emmataylor8763]

i just want to feel okay and normal again and hearing that someone i love and respect can relate makes me so sad. i wouldn't wish this feeling on anyone, especially not dodes because she deserves the world. i'm so sorry dodie.

[@dananhm]

💖

[@dovestone_]

It's the same with me with G.A.D. I've been this way since I was 4/5 and I'm trying to get my life on track with a brain that isn't on track. UGHH.

[@izzyl9391]

Don't be sorry, what you said was right (at least for me). I wish there was a way to fix it or at least to separate the 'it' from your brain. It shouldn't become us. We don't deserve that and you're right, nobody deserves that. I hope you are feeling better soon. Just remember that there is a chance at happiness and we've come so far already. Really though, I wish I could send you a hug or something to make you feel better. Here, I'll attempt: *insert hug here*

[@tlowiefkcalb2415]

I've been depressive for like 4 years now, never told anyone about it and started cutting myself like half a year ago, can't walk at the moment because my leg (thats where I usually cut myself, because noone sees it there) hurts way too much to do that kind of thing...I also don't trust anyone, don't think I will in the future, because everytime I do trust someone it seems like they just use me and dont really like me at all...aditionally I have a light trauma and always when I see naked legs, even if they're in hotpants or so, I get a flashback to when a friend of mine showed me her cuts... And now I forgot what I wanted to say, but it still felt really good telling someone this... Sorry for being such a downer...

[@RubyWoodss]

Man I feel this so much. I went to the doctors 3 times in one day before because I got told Anxiety wasn't a big enough problem and I wept on the walk home. It's so so hard to describe to someone what it's like, everything is huge. You opening up is literally amazing I don't wanna sound patronising but that's fab. Honestly. Use the people around you, it's okay to. That's what they are there for. Remember we're all here. I don't know what more I can say. Also random but if anyone is Uni age and applying for DSA and needs help hit me up (message me or something) I'm here to help :) I've gone through almost every shitty part xxx

[@RubyWoodss]

Basically we all love you, please remember that when you feel alone xxx

[@RubyWoodss]

ALSO I keep saying more but you are all fab too, like Dodie's fans/support are the sweetest, gentlest peeps I've got to know

[@elena-florentinastoicescu5295]

dece forbestimasa

[@izzyl9391]

:D well fab wouldn't be possible without you!

[@marvinb_g]

+Ruby Woods Yup, such a sweet community...! :o

[@yancantdraw2389]

When you almost started crying I felt a bit of me die

[@thesaddestdude3575]

Its okay, i will bring you the defibrilator! *CLEAR* BZzzZZZZZZZZZZzzz Now it should be back to life again! Can you feel it?

[@ellieashtoe8]

I am so happy you've uploaded a video about this!! Makes people aware of depersonalisation and how u shouldn't feel crazy or weird because the brain is just odd and sometimes u can't help what u think

[@ellieashtoe8]

p.s daily meditation really really helped me, stick with it, make it a routine like brushing your teeth!!

[@FTLOBOOKS]

Depersonalisation is the worst feeling in the world, I still suffer from it today at times when I get really anxious or worried. I thought I was going mental for ages until I researched into what was happening. I thought I felt lightheaded but I realise now it's completely different. It feels like your observing yourself from outside of your body and it's not nice at all because you know your talking but you can't register that you are. It's like your part of yourself but your not. I've found ways to cope now, basically I make sure that I stay hydrated all the time if I'm in a social situation and I try to find things around me to stabilise myself to make sure I "stay in my own head" like I make sure I don't panic when it kicks in, I make sure I look around me and see the room I want to stay in. I felt like this before I ever felt drunk so I never realised the similarities until the first time I got drunk, then I freaked out. Trust me when I say this

[@FTLOBOOKS]

It will pass and you're not alone, you're not crazy at all! You will feel like yourself again, I know it doesn't feel like you will be now but you will. Take time to feel yourself again and take time out to chill you deserve it and everyone will understand, lots of love xxx

[@Wra8h]

You're probably suffering from episodes not the disorder. it's fucking horrible I know, but when it has turned into the f disorder you're already in. there's no way out because it's a lifetime feeling, you're IT. all the time, it's your reality you don't know how else it is, not anymore. and the horrible huge part about DPD: medication doesn't work.

[@sierraricks1973]

+Wra8h That's completely and utterly not true. it's impossible dp is just a "feeling" nobody is capable of feeling this forever a while maybe but not forever I'm sorry you've lost hope.

[@LS-jk3fk]

Ash i tought i felt lightheaded too im 14

[@dontask3497]

I am going through something like this. I feel like nothing is real. My entire life is just a movie and I'm an audience member watching it on the screen. Everytime I do something, I doubt it really happened. Nothing is real. This is all a dream. There's no point. We don't exist. Everything feels like a deam.I know it's real and I know it's all happening, but it just doesn't feel like it is for me. I laugh, eat, sleep, and do everything I would normally do. But when I get even a second to think to myself I fall into this hole of 'nothing exists. you aren't here.' and I can't get out. No one has said anything because I keep acting normally. I tried bringing it up to my parents but they just said 'huh. that's odd.' and left it. I'm so scared. What do I do? I want to feel normal. I don't know what this is but I want it to stop. I want to go back to how I was. I want to fee alive. I want to be able to enjoy life again.Someone please help me and tell me what I should do. I'm lost.I look around and I know they feel normal. They can just live in the moment. But I can't. I'm just stuck thinking 'I'm gonna die and nothing will matter. nothings even real.'I'm kinda freaking out. But when I start to have a full blown 'oh my god what the living hell am I supposed to do??' moment, my brain just says "it's not real so you have no reason to freak out." and then goes into a shut down mode where I can't feel anything but terror.Someone please help me and tell me what I'm supposed to do.

[@dontask3497]

I would like to point out that my body is basically on auto pilot. I'm getting good grades, eating well, exercising no less then usual, and reacting to things as I should. But nothing is going through my brain.

[@RandomGir12]

Don't Ask I completelyy understand what you're going through, this may not even be helpful to you at all but I feel the exact same way. you know in your head that you're here but you're not really here and its sort of like you're just in a play or movie where things just happen and you have no control over it. I don't know where I wanted to go with this but if someone would of told me that they understood what I was feeling it would have helped me a lot knowing I'm not alone. maybe you could try seeing a therapist?? talk to other people around you and ask if they've ever felt like this? I don't really know the answer but im sure you'll get through it, babe. just keep fighting ❤❤

[@melgibson202]

Don't Ask I really don't know. I don't feel real either. 😧

[@edpotter9377]

Don't Ask, it sounds like you're experiencing 'derealization' more than 'depersonalizaton'. I get derealization a lot and have been doing for the last few months. You feel detached from the real world, everything seems strange and you have trouble believing that anything that is happening is real. If you're seeking help, then maybe suggest to your family or doctor that you may me experiencing derealization and/or depersonalisation and if your doctor doesn't know what that is, then find one who does. They may not necessarily have a 'cure' but putting a name to it really helped me, particularly as there are a good number of articles about it online which reassured me that I'm not the only person ever to have experienced this. From my understanding it's a symptom of anxiety (even though you don't necessarily 'feel' anxious the whole time you experience the weird sensations) where your brain is trying to protect you from trauma by dissociating from the real world. I hope this helps.

[@Giulia-mw9yl]

Don't Ask I feel the same way. I have ups and downs and sometimes I really struggle to get over all this sensation of non - reality.

[@lilyg9983]

I'm going to the doctors soon but I'm 13 and I'm so scared that they'll patronize me and tell me that I'm fine and i should just go on walks or something

[@gatsbyspet9344]

Lily G i agree !! How did it go? :)

[@junkacct5954]

i'm 13 too and i'm going in about a month. i'm so scared too. but the other comment is right. how did it go?

[@iamangela86]

How did it go?

[@leviangel97]

Well... you should also go on walks! If that's feasible

[@しげお-h4i]

Are you ok now?

[@laserpigeon778]

I've dealt with derealisastion and depersonalisation my whole life. I always felt like my life was a movie but I could tell who I was and everything, I was pretty much fine.It really got worse when my dad died, but the weird part is, the only time when I've ever truly felt I was in my body was when I was crying at his funeral. Everything was real and vivid, and as soon as I stepped out of there, it was like a dream. I've never gotten out of this dream, I can kind of tell I'm here, but it feels as though I'm not controlling myself. It's hard to explain, it if you've ever felt it you would understand. I hate it and sometimes I wish I could experience the world as it is and not like I'm looking through a bad quality camera. Playing guitar and watching your videos bring me into the world a little more, but I'm never truly here.

[@doddlevloggle]

+Laser Pigeon (Mo)

[@laserpigeon778]

+doddlevloggle Thank you for making this video, I've never felt like I could relate to someone about this. I think it will help a lot of people.

[@totesme14]

I am so glad you made this. Recently a friend brought up that she was having a hard time describing a weird feeling she would get and didn't have a word for it. I immediately realized she meant "depersonalization" and pulled up this video for her. And it's because of Dodie that not only do I know about it, but also was able to help someone else learn about it. Thank you so much for sharing Dodie

[@rubyjohnson1466]

soulfulpizza14 I feel exactly the same with the "weird feeling". Sometimes there's even a few different ones, but I can't make sense out of any of them. Is this how your friend was feeling?

[@florenbloch]

Dodie, thank you so so much for making this video. I can relate to this on so many levels, life seems like an eternal dream, but not in a positive way. Everything seems new and weird and unusual like I am an alien visiting this world for the first time, not familiar with basic human emotions. I came back from my trip to America yesterday. It was my first time flying, first time out of Europe and first time in another country on my own. It was an amazing trip, we went to New York, I celebrated my birthday there... You would think I would feel amazing, on top of the world, inspired. But instead, I felt nothing. I am a skin without a soul, the eyes without the sparkle. The flame has been blown out and I can't find any matches. My mom doesn't take me seriously, my dad doesn't even know and although my friends love me and care for me, they aren't therapists. When school starts again I'll go to my counsellor and see if he/she can help me get in touch with a therapist. Again, thank you so much. It is good to know I am not the only one feeling this way and I hope that one day we all can feel "normal" again.

[@TheOtherAnne]

felt the same way for a while, like I was not really here but just in a dream and I was sooo scared that I would wake up and that all of it was a dream.. had a lot of panic attacks around that time 0_o but you know what: I'm feeling way better now it has been a year since I had a panic attack :) so don't give up it's really gonna be okey ^-^ hope you will feel well soon

[@lindseymccormack921]

There's weeks where nothing feels real like it freaks like a nightmare and I feel like I'm watching everytimg go on around me in a kinda slow mo but I'm not contributing it. It usually happens when I'm really down and kinda numb and anxious idk it's scary as fuck.

[@florenbloch]

***** Thank you so much, this means a lot to me :)

[@florenbloch]

***** dankjewel lieverd x Ik ben zo trots op je dat je zover bent gekomen! Hopelijk lukt dat mij ook op een dag :)

[@florenbloch]

Lindsey McCormack I am so sorry to hear this, love. I promise you, we'll be alright. It will take some time, but you are stronger than you think, you can do this x

[@raquelourives8396]

I feel you. I feel every word you said. I'm sending a HUGE hug from Portugal and I hope you feel better now. Don't feel ashamed, don't hide in a corner, seek help, go find your friends and treat yourself. It's my best advice. Love you

[@everose4886]

i can't relate but i feel like i really do understand (?) like sometimes i have bursts of feeling like im not in the moment and its like im looking through a camera. love you dodie, just remember how many people care about you

[@everose4886]

so basically i can relate ahah

[@annacoupland3668]

I have anxiety and i have that same feeling sometimes. like when I'm stressed i don't really believe i'm in the moment that's happening right now....But like I'm really asleep in bed not outside or in school or whatever. It's really freaking me out. And i agree with your message to dodie! xx

[@everose4886]

Anna Coupland thank you and i hope you feel better. and dont freak out because other people feel the same too x

[@reveluvly]

Oh my god Dodie you are SO not insane. I don't think I've ever related so much to a video. The way you describe that feeling, I understand that feeling. I feel like my whole life is a mess, I feel like I'm watching a movie and I don't like the movie because it makes me sad and uncomfortable so I want to turn the movie off but I can't because I have to finish the movie. I so understand how you feel. I always tell myself that I need to stop and realize that there is nothing wrong with me and that I am being stupid for no reason. I wish I could put this feeling into words. Thank you for putting this into words.

[@reveluvly]

I want to get help. But I don't know how

[@Emma-nw8xu]

+Skylar Lange I feel the same as this, its very very shit and I really hope you begin to feel better soon :) x

[@chloec7684]

+Skylar Lange Depending on how old you are, schools and unis have to have councillors, just walk in casually and not. e super stressed, ask if you can talk. Its amazing to finally talk, and its not mega stressful bc its just walking into another room.

[@Syllvie]

+Skylar Lange are you at school? most have a councillor :)

[@thesavviest8493]

+Skylar Lange I notice you put that "nothing is wrong," which is a true statement in my opinion. There is a problem, but it isn't something that is "wrong." If you do feel like your life is a broken record, help is nice. All you need to do is know how to find it. :3 and it is an interesting journey... goes from painful to enlightening and peaceful. Over time, however!!

[@LaurenBolton123]

This is so accurate to how I'm feeling. I've never known how to explain this and I was terrified I was alone and going insane, but now I'm so relieved that someone actually understands and I'm not on my own in feeling this way. Thank you for making this video, you truly helped. I love you

[@LaurenBolton123]

I'm crying with happiness right now because finally someone understands and I'm not insane

[@izzyl9391]

Of course you're not insane. Don't let anybody tell you that. I'm sorry you might've had a difficult time with that in the past. Things can only get better from here. I hope you feel better really soon, you deserve it. :)

[@stephencree3152]

This is Sooo me too I'm not alone

[@boonotlou9818]

+Lauren Bolton Your not alone, just looking through this comment section, most people have felt like that at least once in there life. - I had major depression and thought about ending my life but here I am loving every second of life even if it's cruel sometimes

[@Hallieisntbritish]

+

[@phoebexesther]

When this video came out, I was in a really bad place too. Watching it now is so strange; I’m in a better place but I’m not properly better just yet. But thank you for making me feel less alone when I needed it Dodie

[@LaurenFlorio]

Dodie you really help so many people. You are such a blessing to the internet xoxo

[@lauriejean9306]

Lauren Jean name twins!

[@amsaric]

The problem with going to a therapist is that it's so expensive and at the moment, I cannot afford it. I have to save up my money and then I can go. I had some unexpected large costs a few months that kinda threw me under. Gotta build that back up.

[@marlenekostka5974]

amsaric oh no! I'm so sorry for you :(

[@amsaric]

Marlene Kostka Thanks, sweetie! I'll be okay, though. I'm working on other ways to improve myself. It's tough. It's so fucking tough, but I'm pushing to get through.

[@marlenekostka5974]

If you need someone to talk (sorry if that seems a bit strange) just write to me (ink._.link) on instagram

[@reneecampbell9477]

hey! just remember that therapists are just people with a fancy certificate, and I know that sounds a bit harsh but I found that a therapist didn't help me at all. It was almost as if it was a waste of money, what really helped me was a friend I met via the internet, they were a way better help than a therapist maybe because they completely understood everything that I had gone through and I could relate to them a whole lot more. Just always try to remember that you shouldn't have to pay money to feel happy, there is always someone that will listen and understand you. :)))

[@amsaric]

Renee Campbell Thanks. However, I don't need someone to listen. I have friends for that. I need professional help. And I have gone to therapy sessions with therapists I didn't get along with. Not every therapist is the right fit... I might have found another one though so fingers crossed. She's younger but I loved her lectures and we starting chatting on facebook so we'll see. :)

[@evemitchell887]

Hey Dodie. I just needed to say that you're so brave and amazing. I think this video will help other people. I don't know if you've heard of this but it can be calming if you're feeling down or stressed, It's called tapping. You pretty much tap certain areas on your body (lol this sounds really weird) whilst thinking/saying that it's okay to feel like this and then you normally end it on a happy note. I'm the worst at explaining things but you can google it.

[@evemitchell887]

patcarrington.com/about-eft/what-is-eft/ This explains it better than I can.

[@dishfishes]

I think she might know what it is, she mentioned doing something similiar in a previous video (im really scared of dying lol) but she used it more in a way that people with OCD do, so i think this is definitely a healthier way to cope. I might try this too, cause i cope by tapping alot as well, so this is probably alot healthier. Thanks for posting this!

[@heyneondragon7334]

I can vouch for this! You tap a certain pattern on various pressure points across your upper body and as crazy as it sounds, it has brought me down from countless anxiety attacks. Would recommend :)

[@rennabaker9297]

+

[@konstantinavasileiadi3065]

You are not crazy. I feel the exact same. I can’t talk properly, I can’t recognize myself when I look in the mirror sometimes, and I feel detached from the world. A few days ago, my friend told me he had a panic attack. Then, I talked about it with my other friend. She told me to calm down and relax, because there’s nothing I can do about his panic attacks. But, I couldn’t, my heart has been pounding really fast and really hard lately. I don’t recognize myself anymore and I just feel like I’m in a dream. I don’t even know why I’m typing this right now. No ones gonna read it but I just wanted to tell someone. Bye, I hope it gets better. Also, I’m really confused about my sexuality. I don’t even know if I like guys anymore. But do I like girls? Do I like everyone? Do I like different kinds of people? I don’t even know who I am anymore. I’m sorry, to anyone reading this, if you have gotten this far. I just had to tell someone or at least know that I tried to. I’m sorry 07/01/19

[@luisaflicker9753]

Konstantina Vasileiadi hey, i completely relate to everything u said. I feel like I am mad sometime, I look in the mirror and can not recognize myself, When i am confused about something I think about it and then realize I do not know anything about myself. Who is this person? This probably does not make sense, i am sorry.

[@konstantinavasileiadi3065]

Luisa F it 100% makes sense. Sometimes, it’s scary to look in the mirror and see a stranger. I completely get you. But sometimes I am in my body, I see me but I don’t see the world. It feels like a dream. I can’t open my eyes wide enough and everything just really blurry but other times I can just see everything really clearly. Yep, I have officially gone insane. I’m sorry

[@myluts2720]

Het i have the same.. how are you now?

[@eaapotatoes4643]

Hey, sorry to interfere, but um.... Does it count as not recognizing yourself if your brain knows it's you, your rational thinking says *that's me*, but you expect your reflection to talk back? Like it's glass and you're looking through to a person you recognize but do not know? Idkkkkk but this is how it feels for me! Maybe it's different for you....

[@KWolf2013]

Hey, I hope you got some help in the past few months. I hope you're feeling a bit better. I hope got some of the answers you're looking for, and that you're okay with the things you still don't know. Hang in there.

[@queenlucysroyalmaid1]

It's quite worrying how you went to see someone when you were 16 and they thought you were making it up. If anyone ever says that, YOU ARE NOT MAKING IT UP. Your experiences and feelings are valid. You know yourself better than anyone, and if you know something is up, IT PROBABLY IS and don't let anyone make you feel as though you don't know yourself. Know thyself and all that.

[@queenlucysroyalmaid1]

But also mebbe recognise that no one is ever normal and there is no magical cure? WHAT EVEN IS NORMAL ANYWAY *thumbs up*

[@sanstheskeleton6730]

it happened to me too:/ so many doctors just dismiss teenagers' feelings

[@zoeschramm2047]

+

[@Silver1226]

+

[@oliviacollins5450]

+

[@gabriel-dx9hw]

God Dodie... Ignoring the deep subject for a while, this was beautifully edited. Now going to the deep subject, I feel you, 100%. It's such a difficult thing to deal with and I feel like you really expressed these things so well. I'm also very very happy that you're getting help because God knows it's a tough journey and it's so fucking shit but I really hope that getting help will help your brain on that journey

[@gabriel-dx9hw]

Fucking hell I love you I'm crying so much. Good luck with fixing your brain xxx

[@milolein7380]

++++++

[@only1tacynne]

+

[@jazzo8195]

Dodie, no one's judging you or thinking you're a fraud or attention seeking.

[@jazzo8195]

Also I would really recommend the book Furiously Happy by Jenny Lawson. It's hilarious and when you said that thing about laughing at the fact that your a bit mental I thought of this book.

[@tomirendo]

+

[@monicachang3054]

+

[@marvinb_g]

There are probably people who are, that's the thing with a big audience. But I agree with this little add-on, because the most of us viewers are indeed being good human beings on this matter.

[@marvinb_g]

+Marvin-Berfo Günyel Oh and +. #DFTBA

[@SolarityIV]

For me depersonalization started when I was sick over my summer break which wasn’t to long ago and I really don’t want to stress anyone in my family about it and they ask me how I feel and I don’t know how to respond because I personally don’t know how I feel I really do feel like I’m not alive and I still to this day do not know what to do and it really does make me upset because I want to be able to feel things again how I used to so I can completely relate to this video i have not had this for a year I’ve only had it for almost 2 months now

[@thc7865]

Take off how are you now ?

[@eveashbrook9151]

Dodie I don't know if this helps, but I love you :) you inspire me and make me feel so much more confident about myself and I feel bad that there is nothing that I can do but I can tell you that you are so beautiful, gorgeous, inspiring, and you make a shit ton of people happy. It makes me upset that you are not well, but stay strong, do your best, I know you have been doing that this whole time but keep it up. God I love you so much!

[@eveashbrook9151]

I don't know of you will read this but I hope you do ^^

[@eveashbrook9151]

Dodie, you are amazing.

[@TheTerriblePorpoise]

+

[@maymoonlight3956]

I totally agree 💛

[@eveashbrook9151]

Dodie I just can't even explain how much you mean to me, like ugh I wish I could.

[@Lelii321]

Depersonalization is SCARY. Mine started recently. (at least to the point where i noticed because I've always felt like i was not in my body... That my body wasn't mine). Ive been feeling numb and as if I am physically floating within my "body" for months now. When ever i have panic attacks it gets BAD!!!!! I get nauseous and really dizzy because "I'm floating within myself" Anyways I've found that if I try focus on the real world and try to focus on feeling the world it kinda tones down the symptoms.

[@doddlevloggle]

+Arie Marcucci :(

[@simonkenrick3680]

Omg it's so terrifying, I relate to dodie saying she felt drunk because mine started after a night drinking and through i was just still drunk but it continued for two weeks.

[@amiloulew]

+Simon Kenrick +

[@amylassauzet2436]

100% me

[@katherinehumphrey1570]

+

[@RuthieCroft]

I have suffered from depression, anxiety and ocd for as long as I can remember, and when I first watched this video, I was actually kind of healthy, mind-wise. Happiness didn't seem as much as a distraction, my chest didn't physically ache all the time, my brain wasn't blurry. And here's the thing- I watched this, and I found it hard to identify. Because that is exactly what depression etc is! Even when you've experienced it as extremely as possible, when you finally break through for a little while, you forget how bloody awful and difficult it is. And now I'm re-watching this, because I am a bloody mess right now, mentally. And it makes me angry with myself for momentarily forgetting what it's like, but at the same time, if we didn't sometimes forget during the 'okay' parts, we would be stuck forever. And I guess that gives me hope. Anyway this is rambly. My brain is rambly at the moment. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I am so lost and my brain refuses to shut up for even a second, but if I come back to this in six months and if I feel slightly better, I'll see if I can identify with myself now. It's an interesting thought.

[@blubbblubb6239]

yeah I definitly can relate to that, too. One day I feel deeply depressed, thinking there is just one single permanent solution and that this solution would make sense, although I know it shouldn't and everyone and anyone would tell me that it doesn't in case I would tell them about my thoughts... just few days later I can feel ok again, feeling like a completely different person, which can hardly imagine how to come to that dark down moments, although I kind of remember some thoughts that brought me there. And then I think: How could just anyone who did not experience all these mental health issues for a long time ever imagine, how it is, if I myself even can't sometimes?? So yes, that makes mental health issues so super complicated and difficult to communicate.

[@melododie]

I'm so afraid to feel like this one day. I know that most people get depressed these days and I'm scared that I will too. I see these videos and relate to a minimal amount of it and I'm happy about that. Just a little personal thing. dodie is amazing and so strong! She's doing so well now! :')

[@MatildaSmiles]

Whatever your going through, we will be there by your side and try our absolute best to support you.

[@MatildaSmiles]

rematching = rewatching ... :)

[@boonotlou9818]

Dodie your the best! I go through stages of my life when I have depression but I now have great friends , music, art to fight/distract it. It was impossible at the start because I was all alone but there is always hope even when the illness has got you 24/7 there's always a spark. I bet you help people who we're in my position and are fighting with them now even though it might seem your doing nothing. XD Dodie, we are all here for you, tears are allowed to be shed because it will all be over soon!!

[@Erica_HD]

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[@AmeliaWilds]

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[@BryonyHarris2]

I'm dealing with this right now! It's the most scariest thing ever I thought I was going mad! Thank you for this video I now feel like I'm not alone xx

[@BryonyHarris2]

I was diagnosed and will be getting therapy :) I hope we can both deal with this and get over it love you x

[@angelinem3289]

+Bryony Harris yeah me too. i was going through the exact same thing last year and coming into this year and wow i really did think i was going mad. ive been diagnosed and am much better now through getting the help i need and i really hope that you too are on your way to recovery xx

[@Hallieisntbritish]

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[@marvinb_g]

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[@amywinfield5452]

I thought I was going mad too. I wish you all the best, sending you big big hugs, I hope you get to a good place darlin

[@mads1004]

my mom tends to use my mental illness against me, saying things like "everyone feels like that sometimes" or "do you want to go to [local mental health institution]? that place will really mess you up if you don't have anything wrong with you." i love writing, and she thinks i'm one of those writers that has to have "a troubled soul" to write. it makes me so scared, thinking that everything i feel is a lie when i know it's not. i feel like i can't talk to anybody seriously, especially after a few very serious conversations with my mom that didn't result in me getting medical help, so i use my mental illness, my depression, as a punchline or a joke because i feel like it's the only catharsis i have. i know it's ridiculous and irrational and i know joking about it is the worst way to cry for help, but i feel like it's all i can do. that being said, thank you dodie for speaking so openly about your mental health and reminding me that i'm definitely not as alone as i think i am.

[@thesoftestsatan5386]

mine does too, can't amount the number of times she's told me to just stick it out, or think happy so I can be happy, or just to tell the thoughts no, like that's ot how it works

[@XthecadburykidX]

Before I was diagnosed with depression I knew I was depressed. The few times I approached my Mum about it she told me that I was just having a bad day or similar to what your Mum says to you. After I was diagnosed she admitted to me that she didn't want to admit it to herself that I was depressed. It may be the same with your Mum. I understatement how hard it is to go to a doctor but I really recommend doing it. You know yourself best, nobody else, so if you are unhappy then you know best. I hope you can find someone to talk to who listens and understands you. X

[@alinasaman272]

i am absolutely aware of how you feel because i do the same thing and the people i know irl also treat me the same way, or say the same things and it bothers me so much but i can't do anything about it. 3 years since I've been dealing with mental illness and now i consider it the official joke punchline of my life and i know that's not healthy but i feel like it's the only way i can talk about it without being degraded by others and it sucks bcz i don't know what else to do.

[@rachey3032]

Do you go to a school that has somebody that can help. Sorry if you've already tried, but I hope you can get help and understanding x

[@RA-ob1ld]

My mom does the same thing and threatens me with psychologists or having mental illness or 'How can you be depressed or have anxiety I had it so much worse' and 'what's wrong with you'

[@Mimi-fp3sl]

I've experienced depersonalization only once, and it might have been the most terrifying experience I've ever had. I think it was like my brain trying to ignore my ptsd, but I felt completely insane. I'm lucky it hasn't happened again.

[@alyssameesh]

hi dodie! i'm so proud of you for coming to the realization of some of the obstacles you're facing and really seeking help from professionals. i have an anxiety disorder as well that causes me to vom (cyclic vomiting syndrome). no one understood what i was going through and i sounded crazy for a long time. people thought i was pregnant since i was throwing up all the time and for no good reason other than i was extremely anxious all the time. after a few years of struggling with it, i got put on medication that changed me a bit but i don't get sick anymore and i have anxious moments here and there but it's not like the hell i was in before. dodie, you can do this. although i don't know you, i can tell you're being genuine, honest, kind, and the best you can be. it's so brave that you're making videos about this! it's so important! i wish the best of luck to you. dissociation is really difficult and talking it out in therapy, practicing meditation, and even eating right can benefit your mental health. stay strong dodie!!

[@doddlevloggle]

+Alyssa Michelle oh my goodness that sounds awful. Super hope you're okay now

[@erinnesbitt5469]

oh my god this has been happening to me for a year now and I had no idea this happened to other people

[@alyssameesh]

+erin nesbitt it sucks!!! And it's pretty rare esp. For adults (more common with children, not sure how old you are). For me, it got worse as time passed - instead being nauseous every morning, it would go all day and more throughout the week. I hope you're getting treated! I'm on a med called amitryptaline (don't know exact spelling) on a very low dose that really helps me. Let me know if you have any questions about it! It's a terrible thing.

[@alyssameesh]

+doddlevloggle definitely loads better now. thanks so much for commenting back 💛 sending lots of love to you.

[@lyla951217]

My mom noticed a little too much of her own childhood problems in me when I was about 10 years old. She didn't realize hers was depression and didn't get the help she needed until she was a married woman. She didn't want me to have to do that and so she took me to a psych and we found out it was depression and anxiety. Cue ten-ish years of trying out a plethora of different medications (nothing worked for long due to changing prepubesent body chemistry), visiting out-patient clinics, group therapy sessions, a lot of tears, skipping school, and a short stint in a youth psychiatric ward, until finally, we found a combination of drugs that worked and I was pretty good for a few years. Recently there's been a small relapse, probably due to my body acclimating to the medications; so I talked to my doc and we're gonna try and fix it. It won't be as painful as before because my body has stopped growing mostly, but it'll be hard. I know things will go haywire during meds transitions and not everything will work for me, but I accepted long ago that I'll always have my depression and every few years I WILL have to find a better option. But going through the tough stuff only made me stronger in the past, and I know that I have people who will love and support me no matter what, just like my mom was constantly there for me growing up. I would not have survived middle school or high school without my mom knowing what was up and stepping in so early on. She put up with a lot from me and saved my life. She taught me that seeking psychiatric help is nothing to be ashamed of and sometimes necessary. As for the depersonalization, I had several bouts in the past. I don't remember most of middle school, and sometimes I've felt like I'm just floating and observing instead of actually being present. It's scary and difficult, but it can be fixed.

[@SAMoralesTP]

You're really lucky to have gotten so much support and help. It's been 4 years since my parents were told I have depression and they still don't believe me

[@frostfang1]

She's so lucky. Its been ten years for me and while my parents believe in depression, they don't believe in me. They don't understand that physical/financial support is not enough and seem incapable if offering emotional support. I am barely able to do it myself, but a friend and many pets and books have made me far more empathetic than they will ever be. I just hope that's not what kills me.

[@aranara_song]

I hope you get better. We all will someday, I'm sure of that. Good Luck with your meds, and good luck with your recovery. :) I hope that you'll be fine one day.

[@oliviacoe3982]

My parents don't believe that I have a mental illness. I told them that I didn't feel right and they told me I just needed to grow up and get over it.

[@manelkh3706]

I wish you all the best !

[@disgraceful318]

I can unfortunately relate to the "not here dream- like drunk" feeling. It's scary and it won't go away and I don't know what to do.

[@alyciadweeb]

4:00-5:00 is EXACTLY how I’ve been feeling lately. You couldn’t have said it any better. Derealization always makes me feel extremely nostalgic.

[@flor.a_qqq7697]

I wish I can go through the screen and give dodie a hug in the future, but for now...*digital hug*

[@elliekeidel4769]

First of all, I admire you for the bravery to not only explore these feeling to "figure it out" and to "cure" it and to also share it. It takes a lot of courage and strength. Second, you are not crazy. The organ in your head is too complex for something to not go a little askew. It's okay. And third, THANK YOU for sharing. For about 4 years, I've been trying to delve into and understand my mentality and recently before this video, I realized that the experience of depersonalization really fits what I'm going through. And so now I know that you, someone I Do look up to (but not put on a pedestal), experiences a similar thing. And I feel not so alone. We've got this, Dods. I know we can do this.

[@elliekeidel4769]

Something I want to add to the second part is: You should not feel ashamed of your mental state. It's okay and there's not something wrong with you.

[@katherinehumphrey1570]

++++

[@dddaizy3141]

I just feel so scared, all the time. But what of? What exactly is there to be scared of? It's all irrational. It doesn't make sense. All my fears are irrational, but me being aware of that makes it even worse. I'm not sure if I have social anxiety or not. Now that I think about it, I displayed signs of it from a young age. When I was about eight I went to a book signing. The room was packed of people, and my claustrophobia didn't help that. I panicked. There were people, everywhere. People. Lots of people. That's my main fear. Irrational as it is. I badly wanted to meet my favourite author, but these people...and what would I say to her? I made my dad take me home. Something like this has happened before. When I was nine I was at a TV studio when they told me to step in front of the camera and speak. I had the perfect script in my head, rehearsed. But, as I stood there with them watching and the cameras rolling, I froze. Nowadays, things that make me anxious/panic are: When the teacher says the word 'presentation'. When you speak and everybody's like 'omg, she can talk!' When a teacher sends you into another classroom to ask for something. When you're trying to talk in class and somebody yells 'I can't hear her!' When you're speaking to your friends but their other friends come so you have to shut up. When you say something dumb and spend the next year of your life dwelling on it. When the teacher puts you in a pair with somebody you barely know. When the teacher makes a joke about you in class and everybody else laughs and you're trying not to cry with embarrassment. When your mum tells you to call your friend to ask how they are. When you have to read a page in class. When you have to eat your lunch around other people so you just go hungry. When your friend won't come with you to the toilet or the canteen. When you are mentally preparing every single scenario. When somebody asks if you're okay. When you get offered something and automatically say no so you can't be a hassle. When the teacher says pick a partner but none of your friends are in that class. When the teacher won't let you work by yourself. When you ask for something and they reply with 'help yourself'. When you forget your earphones and are scared that somebody might try and talk to you. When somebody says something nice to you and you don't know how to respond and you also immediately don't trust them because they just lied. When you have to repeat yourself in class. When you have to count up coins in a shop. When you're the first to finish your test but you wait for somebody else to finish before getting up. When you hold onto rubbish for a whole hour because the bin's on the other side of the classroom. When you get the answer wrong in class. When you get the answer right in class. When the teacher says you can choose your groups. When the teacher picks you to do something. When you need help but you're too scared to ask. When you make a carefully rehearsed comment and it gets ignored. When they've seen the text, but haven't replied. When you aren't sure what classroom you are meant to be in. When you send random texts to yourself just to look busy. When your friend doesn't want to come to the after school club with you. When you need to buy something but the cashier is intimidating. When you answer a question in class and your heart pounds. When the teacher says 'remind me'. When you are walking in the wrong direction but you can't turn around because you'll look stupid. When you can hear people laughing and you think it's at you. When somebody calls your name and you turn about but they weren't calling you. When you have a good contribution to a conversation or the right answer but when you finally are brave enough to put your hand up the subject has changed. When class has just started and everybody's talking to each other and you just sit there. When you have to hold back a panic attack and just sit there all casual. When you get put into a class with new people and you think 'crap! I was only just getting to know my last class!'. When a teacher's speaking about a topic that relates to you and you feel all self conscious. When you feel like you're going to cry if you somebody embarrasses you. When you don't bother asking because you don't want to annoy people. When you know something is stupid but you can't stop thinking about it. When you are told to 'stop worrying'. When you over think literally everything. When you are worried that people are put off by you. When you're home alone and you hear a noise and accept that you're going to die. ////////////////////////////////////// When you hold it in all lesson because you're too nervous to ask to go to the toilet. When you don't know what to do with your hands. When you really need to cough but you hold it in so you don't draw attention to yourself. When people think you are ignoring them but you just don't know what to say. When people think you are 'just shy'. When you're told it's all in your head!!! When nobody understands!! When people don't believe you are anxious because you talk a lot. When you're terrified about walking in late. When you have to count money in a shop and it seems like you are holding up the whole queue. When your mum says she'll be ten minutes and she's not back after eleven and you think something awful has happened to her. When you miss a lesson and when you come back you're like 'what if the seating plan has changed?' 'What if I don't know what I'm doing?' What if... When you are late and everybody looks at you When somebody compliments you and you don't know how to respond. When your friend won't come with you to buy a drink/to the loo so you go thirsty/hold it When people say don't worry. When the teacher praises you When the teacher mentions something you like and everybody turns to look at you sorry if you read this, this was really long I just needed to get my feelings out. Also, I over think everything and something I break down and have an anxiety/panic attack. I can be triggered by the smallest things like the thought of Dan and Phil leaving KZbin, but most of the time its social situations like going into school in the morning or performing in drama. help, please? xx

[@dddaizy3141]

SORRY I ONLY JUST REALISED HOW LONG THIS IS

[@meliagorsuch]

Pierce the Daizy hello, i am sorry I don't understand how you feel but I would recommend going to try to find the right doctor to help you or maybe going to therapy. But whatever you do I wish you the best of luck trying to figure this out. (Also I just realized this comment is a month later... oops?)

[@daniyu8121]

i relate to this so much wth.

[@ahhh2450]

My fucking God I can relate to almost everything you said and that does sound alot like social anxiety you should try and talk to a doctor or maybe therapy??? idk that might help

[@nosurrender4321]

loads of people feel anxious they just don’t have the memory or the interest to write it down like you did

[@potpourri323]

I feel like im going schizophrenic, i cant stop having anxiety attacks, I’m so obsessed with my dpdr that I cant stop thinking about it. Quarantine isn’t helping at all. We can get through this. 😔

[@thesaddestdude3575]

Don't worry i don't think you are turning schizophrenic at all, its a normal thing for people with DPDR so worry about, but DPDR is actually the bodies respons to Anxiety, its a defense mechanism that fails to go away or stays persistent becaus you are constantly on the edge. Alot of people worry that they are going isnane becaus it feels like it but its important to know that you are not, you are completely sane. I actually hear this alot when talking with others who have DPDR, and i myself even felt a bit like this, but at the same time i have had it for so long that it has become normal. But don't worry, anxiety attacks can be treated with therapy and if treated your DPDR will get better aswell. Actually its one of the disorders where most people recover and almost everybody has some recovery from it, just know that its not a permanent state of mind and it will get better, if you are in your teens its also important to know that anxiety usually becomes less severe once you start reaching your early 20s but this is only the majority, theres still lots of cases that manifest in people at a later age, and this is not cause for extra concern at all. You will make it, it will get better trust me!

[@morrisseygirlfriend]

@@thesaddestdude3575 this comment is helpful but it’s been like two weeks nonstop…i am never not depersonalizing and it’s terrifying

[@davidjones500]

@@morrisseygirlfriend I had it for 3 months and I'm fully recovered now, don't worry, you can make it through it and be 100% back o normal again :)

[@morrisseygirlfriend]

@@davidjones500 hey man, i know it’s only been five months since i made this comment, but things have been so much better for me. i rarely depersonalize and things are almost back to normal, which i didn’t think was possible five months ago. it feels amazing to feel better :)

[@chillnmp4273]

@@morrisseygirlfriend I’ve been having this for about two years now and I’m scared lol

[@tiastevens983]

This video made me cry because how real it is

[@nysitcoms1386]

when dodie almost cried I felt like crying because she is such a sweet nice person and she deserves to be happy and if I could help I would but I don't really know what to do because I'm in a different country but I can do one thing, tell you that you are amazing and have great friends and music helps if you want to write and I hope that you can get better. you help me all the time so I want to help you, even though this probably didn't work, if you ask I will help.

[@nysitcoms1386]

sorry if that was dramatic I really like dodie so oops :)

[@shaunpereira7699]

+flamesmgee edits that ain't dramatic that's true help

[@mikaelafowler252]

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[@DowzerWTP72]

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[@19mushroom91]

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[@TheRealImaginary]

I love you Dodie, you're not alone. I've been struggling with depression and anxiety for years. I can't say I know exactly how you feel bc no one ever could. But I feel for you and understand you can't just turn it off. You can only do and be the best you can ❤️ stay true to yourself and try to stay positive!

[@TheRealImaginary]

Also one of the only things that keeps me going and keeps me happy is KZbin. Watching and creating. Being able to physically make something that you really want to do is such a good feeling and makes my mood do a complete 180. I may not be as successful as you are but I can only keep trying(: ily

[@Cminorputitincminor]

I know I'm five years late to this, but you described it perfectly. I've been feeling like this since a spike of anxiety a month ago. It's so tiring and so terrifying. I get the feeling I've died a couple of days ago and now I'm in some weird limbo.

[@lucykatescott]

did it get better? :( im the exact same, a had a massive panic attack about 3 months ago and its been awful ever since

[@eduardogomez7681]

@@lucykatescott it's wears off after a while I can take months but anxiety is scary it causes a lot of different symptoms I suffer from it everyday all day so bad

[@rhianwluv]

oh dodes...you've really captured how i feel at times. its so difficult to explain how we feel sometimes. thank you for being able to share all your thoughts and feelings with us. i hope things look up for you, love ❤

[@rhianwluv]

oh lord when you just mentioned dovan flat I'm going to cry

[@rhianwluv]

+Rhian Padilla I'm crying now oops

[@tayjune]

Lots of love to you Dodie, the texts you were reading out at the start are exactly how I've felt lately. I've been up and down with my emotions, but those texts were worded poetically and how I feel. We're here for you Dodie, we all love you so so much. ❤️❤️

[@tayjune]

P.s Hope you feel better soon, you're so important to all of us. 💕

[@Fkjb69]

I love you dodie. not like in a romantic way or anything obviously but as person to another person.

[@Fkjb69]

and another thing is make sure MAKE SURE you get diagnosed by a professional. Self diagnosis is very dangerous. Take care though I hope you the best :)

[@Fkjb69]

+Hi I'm Andy obviously you've never even sat through an entry level psychology class or you wouldn't be talking out of your ass.

[@LilikeNel]

😙

[@Bubbly027]

+Fkjb69 Dodie talked about this in a video

[@zoe8176]

hi, not trying to cause a shitstorm here, but the thing about self diagnosis is that you're the only one who knows how you feel. it's good to be able to say to someone- be it a friend or family member or doctor or therapist- "this is how i feel and this is what i think is causing it." especially when talking to a medical professional it's good to give them any ideas you can because that will lead to a professional diagnosis. idk if that made any sense but my point is ur the only one who knows how u feel so to tell someone that they don't know that is a p shitty thing to do.

[@MC-ki2ky]

you know, i dont usually cry, and when people tell me the things theyre experiencing, even if they are exactly the same things i am experiencing, my mind finds some way to say to me: no. youre different. youre not worth it, and youre never going to get better. So thank you for this video. Because I cried my eyes out and i felt so understood and ive been looking for that understanding for about a year now. I'll try to continue my life with the thought that I am not crazy, that I am a person worthy of attention, and that i am good enough. I hope you will find your happy place soon, I really hope you do. Until then, I hope youre proud of yourself, and the fact that youve helped so many people by the stories you tell

[@edenoforion]

So many doctors, therapist, and psychiatrists have been more hurtful than helpful. Saying things like "attention seeking" and "making it up". Them of all people shouldn't say that. That's who is supposed to help. I've found a therapist who is like a second mother to me. She's so amazing. I've had to move four hours away but we still stay in contact. I can understand what you mean by this. You're not mad. Unless I am too. Then we are mad together. But I feel like I'm not really here and this is all a dream or fake or something. It's hard to explain but I understood. Depression and anxiety have always been a struggle for me and especially feeling "out of it". And it's nice to know that someone else has experienced it. But it's awful. Because it hurts. It's sad. No one should feel that. You can't turn it off. You can't just wake up and be better. There's no real reason for the depression or strange feeling of not being there. It just happens. You go on with life doing things as you normally would but it just feels fake. Not real. I broke down when you said you wanted to go back to your old bed. Because I want my old bed. I want to be happy again like I used to be. I also live in the past and don't want to grow up. Im terrified. Please take your time to take care of yourself. I know how much this hurts. Please don't worry about entertaining us. just please care for yourself. We love you and just want you to be healthy.

[@edenoforion]

17 years old and seen, gone through, and been told things that adults shouldn't have to.

[@MSIGAMING4GGTX970]

possibly because many teenagers go there attention seeking (in my experience what they say they have is not genuine but rather to gather attention), hard truth. just because you dont feel happy all the time does not mean you are depressed or whatever tumblr teenagers call it (anxiety or depersonalization bullshit)

[@charlottedavies2477]

Dodie i just want to give you a big hug

[@mullemarie5859]

As someone who knows how difficult it is to say 'I'm at a point where I can't work myself out of this mental state - I need help' I just want to say you've done so so so good, sweet Dodie. I hope you can feel the hugs and the love I send your way 💛 thank you for this video, this level of honesty, but I hope you don't feel like you have to invite the Internet and strangers into your head if you don't want to Be good to and take care of yourself (whispers: it's super important)! xoxo

[@ducomors]

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[@GretaZewe]

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[@victoriab4757]

Can't believe how I've felt so moved by your words, I'm really struggling from persistent depressive disorder and the way you describe your feelings and your plans ...I definatly relate to the strange world, foggy mind, dream like state experience. You make so much sense to me.

[@cheerykira]

we love you dodie

[@cheerykira]

'especially if you've never dealt with mental illness at all, you're probably thinking "dodie, just turn it off like just shut up. just stop talking about it, stop obsessing over it. you're attention seeking, you're making this up and making yourself believe that you're ill' that^made me very very close to crying

[@cheerykira]

you're not crazy or insane or strange and you don't sound that way to me

[@edenoforion]

Exactly. I cried so much when she said that because I've heard it so many times.

[@cheerykira]

+TotallyJessie hello!

[@tjf3st3r]

I started crying when I watched this

[@muirisocearbhaill]

We love you

[@muirisocearbhaill]

I hope you will be okay

[@Hallieisntbritish]

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[@FREESPIRITEDCOOKIE]

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[@samrodriguez4692]

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[@samrodriguez4692]

+Hallieisntbritish nerdfighters! I think this should be done everywhere, everywhere I see it comments are so much more positive!

[@robinjames333]

"objectively I am fine, so why am I not?" is the question that has been running around in my head for years thank you for saying it out loud

[@bugcurse]

I can't believe a doctor would tell you that you were making your mental illness up ugh. It's so disappointing that mental illness is brushed off by some doctors just like that. You should definitely attempt to seek out someone who will be more understanding and give you an actual diagnosis other than just "making it up". Good luck, Dodie. I hope you'll feel much better and happier soon

[@doddlevloggle]

+Cj she said it was dangerous to diagnose a 17 year old and put a label on me because I'd obsess over it - she thought at worst I had "low mood" aghhhhhh lol

[@Vicky-hc4su]

Psychologists have to diagnose a lot of people, after a while they get affected as well and might react like tis. I've heard of it many times. You just have to find another one, it's that simple. Sometimes you are not being helped, sometimes you are not compatible. You just find another one. Good luck. And thanks for the video.

[@bugcurse]

+doddlevloggle More dangerous than having a 17 year old go through years of their life thinking they're crazy? Wow haha. I wish you the best x

[@caradocapcunobelin2875]

She ain't depressed if she has the ability to see a brighter future. She doesn't have chronic anxiety because she really just has no idea what it's like. Bitch made all this shit up and it makes me mad because depression is so real in my life.

[@caradocapcunobelin2875]

+doddlevloggle if you didn't get diagnosed then you don't have it. These people are experts. What you described is low mood not depression. Maybe if you spent every Waking minute thinking about, fantasizing about how good it's gonna be and the peace you will feel when you die then that's depression. A truly depressed person has no ability to see a brighter future and you clearly have that ability. I encourage you to go to group therapy and see what people who actually have depression go through. You'll be shocked.

[@lulur6817]

Okay so 1) thank you so much for making this video because I generally feel horrendous and bad and it's kinda like "oh, I'm gonna see my best friends! Why am I not really really excited that I'm going to get to see my best friends?" And then I feel really bad for not feeling happy and it's just really sad and just no like just why am I like this I'm so awful and I hate myself wow And 2) I really hope you feel better even though that's a really weird thing to say because you can't just feel better but I just hope that you eventually feel okay xx

[@ianparkerparker]

+

[@dannylupin6553]

+

[@palmtree1958]

I know exactly what you mean. I went to a concert last year to see my favourite band- I was lucky enough to get a ticket (they sold out in 40 seconds flat) and I wasn't at all excited for it. I kept telling myself "oh, you'll get more excited as the date gets closer don't worry" and it got to a stage where I was in the line outside of the venue and I still wasn't even a little bit excited about it. It took me until they were about two songs into the show for me to actually enjoy it and have even a little bit of fun- to be honest, once that happened I had this incredible feeling of freedom that was like nothing I've ever experienced before in my entire life. Now as I'm writing this I can't remember what happened. I don't feel any excitement about the fact that I went there, and the only way I think I can get that wonderfully free, euphoric feeling back is to go to another one of their concerts. Hell, I have a ticket for their next concert in my area and the whole situation is repeating itself. I'm not excited at all. Not even a little bit. I'm just really hoping that feeling comes back- I've been pretty heavily depressed for almost five years now (that and a shitpile of other mental illnesses and symptoms and whatnot) and the way I felt that night was the best feeling I've ever had- in fact I think it's the only time I've ever felt truly happy since I was a hell of a lot younger. Whenever I sort of re-realise that I'm not looking forward to it, I feel like crap because I know just how lucky I am to have been able to see my favourite band even once, let alone twice; and because I know I _should_ be happy and it feels kinda stupid when everyone else around you is more happy for you than you are for yourself.

[@Faith-sr8zw]

omg that old house and old school thing relates to me i get it. doesn't make sense when i type it down guess you need a whole lot of context

[@taylormarrie6957]

i just found this video and I've felt this for a couple months now and i really thought i was the only one going through things like this. thank you so so so so so much for this. now i know I'm not insane and this is a real thing that people deal with. thank you thank you thank you.

[@meganb6054]

My gosh, Depersonalization has affected me greatly before. I struggled with feeling like I wasn't there and that I felt like I wasn't in my body, like my brain didn't work at all in correlation to the real world. It all came as a side effect of my hypothyroidism and as I took my medication, it left me, however, I occasionally get it sometimes at night and that leads to thinking about death and therefore panic. I loved this video because it made so much sense and it's something that is hard to put into words. Thank you

[@meganb6054]

I definitely recommend getting your thyroid checked. If you're extremely tired, cold or other it's often a side effect and a lot of people aren't aware of it. I hope you get well soon, dear.

[@ripulikone]

I have DPD (depresonalisation disorder), and I'm nearly certain that depersonalisation is what you're experiencing. It's horrible and dreadful, and I am so sorry you have to go through it. For me it usually helps to stay in bed for one day and simply do things I do a lot, like watch KZbin videos or play video games. It gives me a sense of familiarity and lessens my depersonalisation. I don't know if it will help you, but it might, so I figured I should share it anyway. I feel so alone with DPD (which isn't the same as just having depersonalisation, it's a more complex disorder), so hearing that someone else is experiencing a similar thing is relieving. You are not going mad. You aren't mad, okay? You will be okay.

[@elestras]

god i've never related so much to a video. i love you so much dodie. i feel completely the same

[@randomizedtoki5986]

She is amazing

[@savanna5370]

I hope you'll also try seek help to get better as well then! Stay strong!

[@savanna5370]

+cary watts Some people don't have as extreme depression as others! I have depressed friends (who have been diagnosed by doctors) that don't feel suicidal, but that doesn't mean their illness isn't real. Recognising your illness and wanting to get better doesn't mean you're not I'll anymore. Sorry if this sounded confrontational. I haven't suffered from mental health problems since last year so I know your opinion definitely counts for more than mine: but remember that everyone's mental illness is different and personal to them! I hope you have as nice a day as you can possibly have! ❤️

[@elestras]

+cary watts i relate to the anxiety and depersonalisation part, not the depression part.

[@amyamyamy17]

+cary watts the way something is for you is not going to be the same as the way something is for someone else. Be less quick to judge, maybe.

[@nternetrat]

4:15 I’m glad she left this in. She almost sounded like a child, which related back to what she were talking about, and it just shows the humanity of it, and that it’s normal to wish you are a child again. The world is a lot, and it’s not bad to just want to escape, curl up in a ball, and cry.