I was a student at the time, and when I left for school, he was breathing the last of her life, and I couldn't see her at the time of her demise, but I sent her off with a smile. I saw it then and felt it instantly. I'll never forget that. I guess it was because I didn't want her to be crying with regret or loneliness after she died, and while her body was still there, I wanted her to smile at me, who was a mental wreck at the time and in pain. I stayed by her side as much as I could until she was cremated, and I was next to her for several hours until she was cremated, and I was filled with gratitude. I felt like I was being hugged, and for some reason I felt warm. Emotionally, I was very calm and at ease. But after the funeral and cremation, I realized that one day I would die. I was happy about this. But after a few days passed. I didn't know if I even existed, and I had been bullied in school. I was bullied when I was in school, so I was still crying at the thought of losing more emotional support than my parents. I cried. The only person I could mentally talk to I can openly talk about anything. I guess it was because the only person I could talk to openly about anything disappeared. At the end of my school days. There was a time when I thought about suicide, cause of bully and my grades. It was almost telling drop out from junior high school. Yet, it was my dog that kept me going. (Now, I have undergraduate from 6 years University hopefully. ) If I do this, I will have regrets in this life. I couldn't even go see her properly. I can't go see her properly. That what I would not want to be!! And I still have a photo of that time. I saw it on the balcony, with the clouds and the stars. It looked like a doggy. I took a picture of it as soon as I could. At that time, I was crying, and I raised my arms and shouted, "I'm okay," and then she felt relieved, and it just drifted away. I've had many strange weird experiences. However, That was a mental revival for me. If you are in trouble, you can rely on me. It's okay to be cry when you are struggled of something. Before I was a stupid, childish, cocky little boy. To be honest, right now, I'm busy with my life abroad. Now, when I remember those tears, I do my best. It's really the energy to live!! Still, I'd like to go to the graves of my forerunners as much as possible. I will definitely go to my dog's grave in early spring with flowers and incense. I go to my dog's grave with flowers and incense. Now I can go see her with a smile on my face every time. Hey, I'm here to see you sweetheart!! How are you doing? How are you doing? Are you getting along well with everyone? That's good. Me? I'm doing well. We've been talking a lot about life abroad. Everyone? we're doing well. Thank you. I'll be back when I have time. After that, we went out for yakiniku, her favorite dish. We're going to have grilled meat. I remember after my first visit to her grave, and then go Yakiniku restaurant without thinking about it. It became a habit after that. I guess it's because I feel like I'm eating with her, just like I did back then. I wonder if it's because I feel like I'm eating with her. I also received a message. Huh? You don't look so good, do you? You should eat good food and recover!! After all, my personally mother was a great person who lived for 17 years until she was almost 90 in the years of human age. Even now, I sometimes receive messages from her. Just by telling, I feel much better.