There was a long time friend of Lord Of The Rings author J.R.R. Tolkien who had been a fellow University classmate of Tolkien just like him was and also a world famous British fantasy writer responsible for The Chronicles of Narnia novels, the of course being the British Fantasy writer C.S. Lewis who felt exactly the same way you did back when he had a very similar experience many years ago when he was a child in England’s elementary school system and described it in a way that was extremely relatable to all human beings who have ever felt that way and indeed it seems to be a pattern that no matter who you are in the world at some point more often than not we all seem to go through this phase near the end of childhood and on the verge of teenage adolescence. Lewis expressed his thoughts on the subject regarding the incident from his childhood by starting off saying that “Critics who treat ‘adult’ as a term of approval, instead of as a merely descriptive term, cannot be adult themselves. To be concerned about being grown up, to admire the grown up because it is grown up, to blush at the suspicion of being childish; these things are the marks of childhood and adolescence. And in childhood and adolescence they are, in moderation, healthy symptoms. Young things ought to want to grow. But to carry on into middle life or even into early manhood this concern about being adult is a mark of really arrested development. When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty I read them openly. When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up.”