Vagal Tone, Nervous System Regulation and Demand Avoidance

Join me for a LIVE discussion over vagal tone, nervous system regulation, and demand avoidance.
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DISCLAIMER: Taylor Heaton is not a licensed psychologist or specialist healthcare professional. Her services do not replace the care of psychologists or other healthcare professionals. Please note that Taylor can’t take any responsibility for the results of your actions, nor any harm or damage you suffer as a result of the use, or non-use of the information available through her website, KZbin Channel, or social media accounts. Please use judgment and conduct due diligence before taking any action or implementing any plan or practice suggested or recommended by Taylor Heaton or Mom on the Spectrum. Please note that Taylor doesn't make any guarantees about the results of the information you may apply from her website, KZbin channel, and/or social media accounts. Taylor shares educational and informational resources that are intended to help you succeed in navigating life as an autistic adult. You nevertheless need to know that your outcome will be the result of your own efforts, your particular situation, and innumerable other circumstances beyond Taylor's knowledge and control. Taylor is an Amazon affiliate and may receive commissions on qualifying purchases from affiliate links. Taylor is a Flare affiliate and may receive commissions on qualifying purchases from Flare links.
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[@aleisterlilywhite1109]

I thought I was having panic attacks for the longest time before I got diagnosed and learned about meltdowns.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Yes it's hard to have a grid for what they are until your eyes are opened to the world of autistic meltdowns!! It put so many things in perspective for me.

[@isabellekeyzer]

watching this live afterwards is very difficult for me because it is very often cut by the comments

[@matthewcruz1709]

So glad I found your channel. I'm going through my own diagnosis and managing caring for my wife and three boys at the same time, so thanks for the info and kind way your encourage your viewers.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

You're very welcome.

[@clivevarley2868]

Ploughing my way through your output Taylor …a big thanks to you I found this to be very useful …I spend lots of time going through (properly accredited topics that help the community)

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Glad it’s helpful to you!

[@anickglobensky-bromow9820]

I do a dance-shake, I shake all parts of my body and it brings me right back

[@whitneymason406]

Great catching up with everyone! Hope everyone has a great rest of the week! 💞

[@MomontheSpectrum]

So glad you were a part of everything today!

[@cowsonzambonis6]

I read some about this a few weeks ago, and I’m convinced this theory helped me get out of my burnout! I’m constantly surprised by how little I know about my own body! Thanks gif addressing this topic!

[@SusanDyer1111]

@Team K Productions so true-our bodies really are our BFFS, with innate wisdom they’re always (trying!) to communicate to us within lol!☺️

[@jbrubin8274]

The cold ice pack works like a champ for me. I have several, in case I’m going through a lot. Hot baths actually make things worse for me. One due to a slight deformation at the base of my tailbone that causes that nerve cluster to always being in pain. As it rubs right against it, hot baths have a tendency to aggravate it more. Second even if I try to take a colder bath, I do the calming oils and all. After about two minutes I’m bored and getting out. (I kinda wish they made bath toys for adults. Then I’d probably stay in and getting the relaxation scent if I had a water-proof puzzle or game to play.) Breathing properly is always helpful. You’re right, it never leaves you. Band, singer, dancer, gymnast, swimmer, etc. the list is long but all of us know exactly how to breath correctly. Mainly because we’ve been corrected ourselves so very often. Want to get rid of hiccups fast? Ask your musician friend.

[@susantalebzadeh9741]

At 20 minutes into the video please jump in!

[@MerrilyMerrilyMerrily]

I think this is accurate my GP demonstrated to me -hold your nose and pretend you’re about to deep dive and ‘hold’ your breath, while you push down, it stimulates the vagus nerve into responding by encouraging calmness.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

glad to hear it!

[@SomtimesHeron]

Love your disclaimer is very real. THanks for your advice, plus your fit so I will listen

[@JaiACurtis]

This is very interesting. A while back I learned about reseting the vagus nerve through eye movement and I watched a video where a doctor described the posture to take and how to move the eyes and he said that you'll need to do it for like 30 seconds max and you will feel a physical relief and that many people experience an involuntary sigh or sneeze and sometimes even spontaneous crying. It's supposed to instantly let out trapped energy and relieve stress. Every single comment in the comment section was like "wow I can't belive this worked! It's incredible! I feel 1000x better! I actually cried!" like hundreds of comments where people were saying it worked for them. So of course I tried it....... Nothing. And I tried again. Nothing. And I held the posture for like two literal minutes, I did everything the way it said and NOTHING! other than a bit of eye strain. Now I wonder if my ASD had anything to do with that....

[@MomontheSpectrum]

very interesting! I've never heard of this but I'm very intrigued

[@rlee7077]

Is this an accelerated resolution (eye movement)therapy? (ART)? I've done ART with a therapist before but it's a whole script and we process & reprogram the brain to something that is not stressful.

[@katedhotman9282]

A bit of constructive feedback, if you don't mind: It's quite hard to follow what you're saying when you keep getting distracted by the chat :) Between ASD and ADHD it's probably distracting as hell for you to read live comments while trying to talk about something complex. I would really struggle with that, personally. Perhaps you could try keeping live videos with chat for more simple topics? Just a thought. Very cool info though :) thank you for all your content.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Thanks for the suggestion!

[@debrac1688]

Yes

[@susyQ564]

agreed. i couldn't finish it. maybe she can edit them after so we can just have the information without the torture 😅

[@waynepalumbo8917]

I watch alot of Twitch livestreams, and so i guess i'm just used to the streamer popping back and forth - so from the other side of the coin, i dont really mind when people pop back and forth to chat. Actually for some reason it helps me keep paying attention. just offering a counterpoint.

[@kathysue9890]

Bingo. 26 minutes in and I am having a meltdown trying to watch

[@Christine83507]

When I get disregulated and shallow breathing, I get a frozen lemonade from a fast food place. I found out by accident that this works to calm me back down. Probably the cold temp as you mentioned. Another help is a nap.

[@ajs6750]

Now inknow why i allways sing. All the time, in the car ,at home, at work. During horseriding. Helps vagal tone

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Absolutely!

[@SecondChances06]

Oh I love stand up comedy too!! Netflix has some of the best stand up. I have been watching so much lately it helps me so much to watch or listen to it. My anxiety goes down when I laugh watching it.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Yes! Laughing stimulated the vagus nerve which helps regulate our body. Laughter is such great medicine!

[@bobby-joblue2818]

PLEASE HELP I need to know what this is about , easily understood and straight forward. Im very distracted by the change in topic and conversations. Thank you

[@nolanogrady6528]

Thanks for the video. My cat, Princess and I really enjoy them, and we are leaning alot. I look forward to joining as a member soon. I am so glad that I found this channel.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Hi Nolan and Princess! Thanks for watching. 🐾

[@mysticquantumalchemist]

I literally just got my flares today and put them in maybe 15min before clicking on this video as I’m outside enjoying the evening outdoors 😂🥰 (synchronistic af) … and then I realized… WOW!!! It is cutting out the sharpness of sounds A LOT!!! 😳😳😳 Like, usually being outside, certain vehicles that drive by, the neighbors air conditioner, other noises bother me and are very sharp & loud!! & now I’m not bothered at all 😭😭😭 it took my sensory meter from like a 10 down to a 4-6!! I’m literally blown away right now & will be wearing this everywhere 😭🙏🏽💖 so grateful!!!

[@MomontheSpectrum]

This is awesome! May I use this as a testimony on my social media pages and/or website?

[@sheri6089]

Grounding seems to work best when both nervous systems (parasympathetic and sympathetic) are going at the same time.

[@kimmccaleb4170]

Yes. Words stop making sense...and my brain is like "done"

[@jahbloomie]

It's 4:26 here in SoCal

[@sueannevangalen5186]

Sometimes the live chats get me to excited, I have to stim for a while after they're over. Very much the case right now. Also, my son's new bathing suit arrived -- SUPER excited. Any other parents of autistic kids whose sons don't like the boxer-style bathing suits? Mine hates having wet clothes on and he also won't wear shorts, so it's no shock he won't wear any of his big brother's old boxer-style suits. It is SO HARD to find the brief-style, even for young guys!!! When I was a kid, back in the 80's all the boys wore the brief-style and nobody even thought about it. But then something happened in what, the 90's, where suddenly the Speedo for guys became extremely taboo. It was frustrating because it was so impossible to find one for my child who, for sensory reasons, won't wear the non-taboo suit. He'd run around the splash pad in his underwear but then when that got too wet, he'd take it off (!!!). Not such a big deal for a five-year-old but he also happens to have an enormous inguinal hernia (corrective surgery happening in a couple of months) that makes him look like he has about ten testicles. Anyway, I'm really excited about the new brief-style suit, which only cost $6. This is REALLY off topic. I am totally info-dumping in my excitement. LOL

[@MomontheSpectrum]

haha love the info dump!!! and so glad you were a part of the livestream this morning!

[@sueannevangalen5186]

@@MomontheSpectrum 😊

[@karilyons1045]

Love your content. At times though people lose me and others. I know when there is such a long introduction of housekeeping things before you start talking about what the video is labeled as

[@sarahpenny3852]

P.s.! I am in the UK!

[@jennasink8743]

Yipe! I would not be able to hang out in your kitchen, lol… 😉 Sound is my biggest sensory struggle. I can take like 1 or 2 loud songs, and anything after that is going to send me toward a meltdown FAST.

[@MomontheSpectrum]

I get it!

[@angsfeatheredfriends]

1 minute in, looks at how long video is.... ADHD says NOPE! I will come back to this one later, I swear! :D

[@MomontheSpectrum]

haha well come back whenever you have the capacity for it :) my livestreams are usually a lot longer than my other videos

[@angsfeatheredfriends]

@@MomontheSpectrum Livestream I could do I bet, cause its interactive. I finished the video, very interesting stuff. wonder if it also ties into why I always have stomach problems. Have you thought of making a video on an autistic diet? or how to try to bypass texture issues? I hate veggies cause of how they feel, I will look into the juice thing for sure!

[@boxleyBox]

Hi, Taylor! Flare earbuds are a lifesaver to me, too! However, my son, who is also Autistic cannot stand anything in his ears, and we've spent the last year trying to find comfortable headsets. Finally, we found these: Sony - WH-1000XM5 Wireless Noise-Canceling Over-the-Ear Headphones. They were immediately comfortable for him, are not heavy, do not squeeze his head, and the noise canceling is pretty awesome. They aren't cheap, but it's been worth every penny. Just thought I'd mention it for anyone needing an over-ear solution. I have a question: my son struggles badly with feeling nauseous when he wakes up, primarily in the mornings he has to be in public (school, etc.). We have spent the last two years working on sleep, GI docs, pediatricians, etc., etc., with zero findings or improvement. I think it's a nervous system thing (which is why I'm posting the question here), coupled with the common gastro struggles Autistic individuals struggle with, and I wondered if anyone else experiences this and if they've found a solution??🤔

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Thanks for sharing about the headphones! My daughter could use something like this. As far as the dizziness goes, I’m not sure what’s going on there but maybe someone else will read this and be able to offer some suggestions!

[@maplenook]

Homeschooling

[@rebeccat9389]

That nausea could be anxiety - I had it most days of high school. Also could be hunger related, you could try a protein containing snack before bed. Then again, what I thought was anxiety in high school I am starting to think… was undiagnosed autism.

[@JonBrase]

Diagnosed ADHD, strongly suspected Autism here: I have this issue, primarily helped by not eating in the first hour or two awake and waking up after 10:00 AM-ish (I've rarely had a day-shift job, middle and highschool were hell). I suspect waking naturally (no alarm) also helps, but I'm less sure of that. Anxiety is at least somewhat of a factor.

[@Lolzadoodle8484]

I'm gonna have to try those kids sized ones! I have tiny ears, they're smaller than my mom's and she's half a foot shorter than me lol

[@MomontheSpectrum]

I went back to using them after this video :) both sizes work for me but I think I prefer the kid size if I had to choose

[@the.nerdy.mermaid]

My vagus nerve is overactive. I pass out quite often, especially in the shower and while pregnant. ESPECIALLY while pregnant. I was banned from driving during pregnancy. I also often feel nauseous and dizzy when I have to poop. Sorry TMI

[@sarahpenny3852]

Hello! I am just wondering if you are willing to tell us your first name? I am now in the first phase of being assessed. I am sort of excited but worried if I am not, then why am like I am?! I bought a weighted blanket off Amazon. I love it! It’s Thursday 1st at 8pm, just for your info! xx

[@MomontheSpectrum]

hi sarah! my name it Taylor. I must've forgot to mention that in this video :) good luck with your assessment!

[@sarahpenny3852]

@@MomontheSpectrum thank you Taylor! xx

[@FreyjaHighUpNorse]

Andrew Huberman's (here on YT) breathing technique to slow heart rate and regulate irregular heartbeat: take a deep breath, add one more little gulp, and breathe out slowly and controlled with pursed lips: has helped me a great deal to slow down my elevated heart rate that might pop up out of nowhere. ❤️ ❤✌🏻

[@kimmccaleb4170]

Infrared saunas

[@PocketaPoemArtbyCCC]

Pretty sure I have the pathological demand avoidance profile of autism.

[@thesleepycrafter]

I have Shok bone conduction earphones that allows you to hear both your music and noise around you without having things in your ears your daughter might like them better

[@Sakuragaokaeibikoen]

Hot bathing and saunas here in Japan help me to relax and slow down. I have a routine of going once or twice per week. Also, walking my dog in nature, dancing and teaching dance, stretching and being physical helps me. I am giving myself permission to do more things that I like to do on my own, when I was younger I always wanted to be with others, but would be so exhausted. So now just doing what I want to do is great. My special interests are, theology, comparative religions, health, medicine particularly thyroid health, gut health, nutrition, gluten free living eating, ADHD, Autism and any kind of medical procedure...also psychology. Psychology started even when I was about 14. Also, bi-cultural people and bi-lingual people, or Third Culture Kids....I am one. So Sociology is interesting too. Of course my main interest is teaching Dance and teaching Cultural differences at University. I also love animals....particularly dogs, and love walking my dog, talking to him, and having him play with his friends. So, I am thankful to find this group, as I am 56 and just realising I have Autism along with ADHD.

[@jahbloomie]

I get quiet and overthink what's happening

[@kimmccaleb4170]

Swimming is stemming for me

[@JCWC1990]

A TW for food discussion would have been very welcome

[@MomontheSpectrum]

Noted. Thanks for mentioning this.

[@Greenteajuicy]

[@user-wk9cs7gi2i]

carnivor diet cured my auto immune issues

[@chrisssanders1231]

Oy!!!! I am finding this stream extremely frustrating. It's hard for me to focus on the stated topic being presented when the conversation is constantly interrupted by reversion (mid-sentence) to personal greetings, discussion of bagels, lost train of thought, disorganized presentation of info, and the ever-intrusive commercials. Is this trait ... my reception of information or your form of presentation or both ... a common autism trait? The more I read and learn about adult diagnosed autism, the more I suspect that I have always been autistic. Everything clicks and makes sense. I am 70 years old.

[@susantalebzadeh9741]

I usually love your videos but 15 mins in and still no content?

[@susantalebzadeh9741]

18 mins still no content??

[@BCSchmerker]

+MomontheSpectrum *Sorry that I couldn't make it to the stream in progress; I'm viewing this stream 12 hours post hoc.* Flare Audio, Limited (GBR), famous for the Calmer™ series of in-ear attenuators, also manufactures a unique in-ear (literally!) headset that might suit my needs as an autist with a special interest in music: The E-PROTOTYPE, which packs a forked cable with 3.5mm TRRS plug and 10mm dynamic transducers for receivers - receiver impedance not stated, presumed electret microphone and answer/end button on the cable. BtW, I consider it the responsibility of a gentleman to provide for his woman's presentation. What brand and catalog number(s) nail paint this stream (plus at least three previous vids)? I've set me a project to trial, over time, as many reasonable-cost nail-finishing systems as practicable in anticipation of a future wife. Also, as a new Subscriber to the Personal Development School channel here at KZbin℠, I've brainstormed a concept for a neurodivergent romance set around a future General Assembly of the OMS Holiness Church of North America hosted by Los Ángeles (CA, USA) Holiness Church. The lead pair (Delegates for different congregations of the Holiness Church of North America matched by their home congregations' Hospitality Committees) I envision as Dismissive Avoidants (which I found to be the default for the autistic due to sensory issues - I couldn't bond with caregivers even _if_ they were psychologically healthy, unfortunately not the case for both _my_ late parents) as well as survivors of multigenerational trauma. A stage and/or screen adaptation should be in six Acts corresponding to the six Stages of Relationship defined in Thais Gibson MA, _Attachment Theory: A Guide to Strengthening the Relationships in Your Life_ (Emeryville, CA, USA: Rockridge, 2020): Act I should illustrate the lead pair's online dating history; Act II the lab-partner agreement and initial physical touches; Act III the discussions on primary responsibilities as man and wife; Act IV the filing for the marriage license and start of General Assembly; Act V the rest of General Assembly, the wedding, and the first mating; and Act VI the lead pair's first experience with epithumía and the impromptu dance at a Contemporary Christian concert at Los Ángeles Holiness.