Vaginismus (When Your Vagina Feels Like a Brick Wall) | Hannah Witton

[@eden8637]

A bit of an emotional topic for me. Anyone currently struggling with this, be patient and kind to yourself.

[@esmeclair7895]

[@LaurenLaass]

The speculum part made me really scared and that is partly why I have never had a pelvic exam, even though I should.

[@aditi3333]

@@LaurenLaass I had major panic attacks at the obgyn. I was assaulted by my first obgyn. That definitely didn't help, but it improved MAJORLY over time.

[@toy.o]

@@LaurenLaass me too I literally burst into tears watching it :(((

[@composmentis9469]

Hi

[@max.ninjaa870]

Crying watching this. I see a lot more people talking about it nowadays, but every time someone talks about it it just makes me so emotional after so many years of struggling with it

[@hannahwitton]

💛💛💛 *virtual hug*

[@jamiemarchant8617]

Same. I've been with my husband for 12 yrs and about 5 yrs ago, sex started hurting more and more. . . Now our intimacy is almost non existent. I've been to obgyn so many times. I feel broken. And I know part of it is mental too. .at some point I don't know why, but I started to feel like sex was wrong, sex was dirty, bad, etc. I just want to be able to have sex with my husband like before. =(

[@snubblebubble4937]

@@jamiemarchant8617 Hi Jamie! I'm so sorry about your vaginismus, that sounds really hard. I understand how it can be a barrier to intimacy, and it really sucks. One thing that worked incredibly well for me was doing pelvic floor physical therapy. In my experience, many OBGYNs don't know very much about vaginismus and how to treat it. I had to go to 4 different doctors before finding one who could help me. She gave me a referral to physical therapy, and I did that for about 3 months, but I still do exercises and massage regularly. Vaginismus is treatable though, and it will get better!

[@jamiemarchant8617]

Thank you for saying that...it definitely gives me hope. I have the book on Vaginismus and also have bought inserts to try but get discouraged. Im definitely going to ask Dr about pelvic floor physical therapy. 💜💜💜

[@snubblebubble4937]

@@jamiemarchant8617 I wish you the best of luck!

[@lucyrichards9383]

Basically cried the whole way through this video. Vaginismus has been a huge barrier for me and has really impacted my mental health. It's something I still struggle with but its such a relief to see it being normalised and talked about. Thank you so much Hannah- I am so grateful for your videos!

[@goddessphumi]

this really helped me through it kzbin.info/www/bejne/gpemo4uHa5l7rJI

[@composmentis9469]

Hi

[@bpaster69]

I feel a little irony vaginismus was mentioned in the series Sex Education even if I did not learn this in sex education in school.

[@justanotherweirdo11]

Sex Education is a nice show. Blending education with an entertaining cast.

[@melaniemurphyofficial]

I’m so glad this is about vaginismus and isn’t another vlogmas.. a ‘v’ video that stands out in my current sub box 😂 I’ve had this since I was young just with artificial things, can only use a vibrator on the clit & not inside, can’t use tampons, smears are reeeeeeally difficult for me but I CAN get through them with a lot of breath work and if the person talks me through etc, and pretty sure it started because of a weird experience at a childhood sleepover 😣

[@musikinmeinemkopf394]

My sex therapist talked to me about reasons why people get vaginismus and she said that most of them seem small from an outer perspective, but have a huge impact on the person‘s subconsciousness - such as the event you described or exams at the doctor‘s that have nothing to do with the vagina, f.ex. checking a sore throat while the person disn‘t want it..

[@hannahwitton]

I didn’t even think about uploading a v video at the beginning of vlogmas! Glad to be a break from the Christmas content ☺️ yeah I thought about you (in a not weird way 😂) when I mentioned about artificial things but body parts being fine!! Xxx

[@francyfey4646]

I‘m totally the same. I enjoy vaginal sex with my Partner a lot, but I can‘t use tampons. I even passend out one time trying it. smears are a complete horror and I get anxiety every year before my annual gyn appointment. I can‘t even feel pleasure „inside“ when masturbating. When having sex, I need a lot of time and trust and what is considered „foreplay“. And some days I‘m as dry as the Sahara without any reason. I had a checkup and I‘m physically totally fine, it‘s all just mental. But there is no bad experience or religious upbringing or anything behind it. I guess that‘s just the way I am. And I‘m not prude or anything, I love sex with my partner. It‘s just a matter of time and trust 😅

[@cindydow7369]

Us kegel exercise, put finger in side of female so it will not hurt.

[@nokiddingbrainless]

Fun fact I actually found out about the existence of vaginismus (and that I had it) through one of your videos Melanie! Thank you so much for opening up about it back then.

[@KenzTwilightFan]

If you’re struggling with this, please just be patient and explore with solutions slowly. There’s no rush or pressure. Make it fun and rewarding to explore ways of making yourself comfortable, stretching out, and relaxing your body and mind during penetrating activities. Take lots of alone time to work through it before you are put in any kind of pressured situation. Have a small goal in mind first, like being able to use tampons. You’ll get past it, I promise you. Have grace with yourself always. You are not broken.

[@ayushi3243]

@maypaki alam shut up

[@HeyRowanEllis]

Fact fact from someone with vaginismus for people in the UK: One option for cervical exams if you feel unable to have them without potential trauma, is having them either under general anaesthetic or with gas instead via a gyno at a hospital - if a GP is being shifty or lacks understanding of the situation always ask for a specialist!

[@Zapporah85]

Yup! My first, and so far only, pap was under anesthesia. My doc tried to do it without, but it was just way too painful. My new doc(moved across the country) has been trying to get me in for another but I've been taking advantage of her poor memory and avoiding it for 2 years 😬 I was told tho that once I was under, the pap was very easy. So it's entirely a muscle contraction problem and I have no idea how to fix it. And being Ace, I'm not keen to try anyway. But I will break down and get another pap soon, even though I don't think I need it. I just have to convince the new doctor that she does indeed need to knock me out. **I have also seen a sex therapist a few times but insurance doesn't cover it so...

[@hannahwitton]

Thanks for this info Rowan!

[@cindydow7369]

Put sleep, have male student, putting fingers in side of female patient cervix, then they do pap smear, student are being trained while you are sleep.

[@nokiddingbrainless]

Yes! Was about to comment but this is the case in the Netherlands too. I'm not sure if they will do it for routine pap smears too (tbh they are a bit less vigilant about that in the NL anyway, for instance they only start when you turn 30). I've been having menstrual problems for a year now, and after some pushback and having tried the pill first with no results, I am finally getting a cervical exam under sedation. I'll be getting an internal ultrasound, a pap smear, a STI-test and possibly a hysteroscopy, all while blissfully knocked out. I know they generally won't offer this for a routine pap, but if you're worried about something it's definitely worth asking. They also place IUD's under sedation if needed!

[@Zapporah85]

@@cindydow7369 Only if you consent to have students in the room. They have a form for that, I've agreed to it before on a different proceedure.

[@kometa4940]

My anxiety is so strong that I almost started crying when dr Mitra showed the tool she uses during pelvic exams

[@Zainab-ox2pq]

They come in different sizes, always ask for the smallest one!

[@ChickenOfAwesome]

You aren't alone - even hearing the word gives me cold sweats. I thought I might have to turn the video off but it was so fucking refreshing to hear a gyno say "traumatic" instead of "embarrassing" so I stuck with it. Made me feel seen.

[@juliee593]

I'm fully crying rn lol

[@LaurenLaass]

@@juliee593 okay I thought I was the only one. It looked so scary. That’s why I’ve never had a pelvic exam. Too scary.

[@LaurenLaass]

@@ChickenOfAwesome I started crying at that part.

[@michaelzzaki]

Wanted to throw into the comments that this also VERY commonly happens to trans people taking testosterone, and doctors often don't warn you! If this is happening your doctor can prescribe estrogen inserts that only put estrogen in your vagina and doesn't affect your blood levels. Often doctors assume we don't want to use our vaginas and don't bother to warn us or offer help!

[@hannahwitton]

thanks for sharing, I didn't know that!

[@michaelzzaki]

I'm talking about people born with a vagina, who are transitioning in a "masculine" direction. Adding testosterone (male hormones) affects our vaginas. Trans women/feminine people who get a neovagina do have a proper vagina. Though it is usually not self lubricating, so they just need to use more lube. Feel free to ask me other questions!

[@AL-cg4vb]

@@hannahwitton I’m currently doing this as well as taking hormonal birth control on top of my regular testosterone injections. People usually tout this trans fear of estrogen but it’s such a natural and important part of maintaining our health

[@nungomez7785]

is this music TALENT???🤯🤯🤯kzbin.info/www/bejne/r4WqfnulqsyGjJo

[@candicedouglas9873]

@@michaelzzaki - There is a newish procedure for Trans Women called PPV (Peritoneal Pull Through Vaginoplasty procedure), in which the Peritoneal lining is used to create the neo-vagina. Because the Peritoneum is self lubricating, it means that the neo-vagina is also self lubricating. It also regenerates, so the material taken from the lining will in time regenerate.

[@ItsMegLoves]

I have this! I got diagnosed earlier this year and it’s honestly changed my life finally knowing that it was normal. I felt so embarrassed and useless for men, which I know is ridiculous but I just felt like no one would ever want me because I couldn’t have sex. After some physio therapy and psycho therapy, I’ve made progress and can say I can finally use tampons at 21😂 so grateful that you’re bringing awareness to this!!!

[@annab.3952]

@maypaki alam Im sorry, dont want to be impolite, but this is a perfect example of church brainwashing. If you get a severe cold, would you not cure yourself, because it is gods will to let you die? No, you take some medication and try to get better. Then why would I not get a treatment if I have vaginismus???

[@mxoxoak]

@maypaki alam no offense but that is a really toxic message to send. #1 not everyone cares about religion #2 its a medical condition that happens to many for numerous reasons #3 that connotation makes it seem like a punishment to people or that they deserve it which is messed up to tell anyone with any condition

[@Guineaface1987]

I know exactly how you feel. For years I felt as if I had something missing compared to other women. And I wasn't fortunate enough to see a specialist until my late 20s. Keep going lovely xx

[@WorldHistory42]

@maypaki alam So, if god created birth control then that means that he is evil. If he created this type of birth control then he created Stalin, communism , Hitler and nazism. If Jesus created birth control then he is a genesider who created massive murders and repression’s by NKVD and millions of people killed in gulags by Stalin. In your logic then Hitler made Hitler and Nazi party for birth control by genesiding millions of population of occupied territories. Jesus created communism in chine too then to make their population smaller by killing millions of people

[@WorldHistory42]

@maypaki alam So in fact jesus is worlds genesider

[@julianamagg3177]

My doctor started with the smallest speculum she could get away with when I first started seeing her. But after using dilators (vaginal trainers) and relaxation techniques I tolerate bigger ones that make pap smears easier. And I stopped doing Kegels and started doing more squats because there was way to much tension in my pelvic floor and I needed more of trampoline muscles, not steel beams (that is how I as a nurse explain the function of the pelvic floor). And taking time during the appointment, patient doctors are a amazing. I've had impatient ones check me and I was almost back to square one.

[@hannahwitton]

oh that's a really helpful explanation! thanks for sharing :)

[@Swordbeach16]

Thank you so much for this! I've had severe symptoms since I was a child and tried to get help about 10 years ago when I was 18. That was a long string of patronising humiliation, as I was just considered a child who was a bit nervous. And there was NO info online! I had a couple relationships where all they did was pressure me into sex, in full knowledge of the fact that it was agony/impossible. My last cervical cancer screening ended with me crying and the doctor putting the blame in my hands ('what are you going to do if you want kids?!') as though this is something I can control. They diagnose me but refuse to accommodate me. Now it's so refreshing to see it mentioned so often, especially considering how common and life affecting it is. And things have gotten so much better in recent years, so I'm hoping that they'll be more options for us. It's incredible isolating and life affecting. Stay strong fellow Vaginismus sufferers!

[@merlinHPtwilight]

Wow, what a horrible thing to say as a doctor! I am shocked. Glad you're doing better!

[@vanessabanta8586]

Yeah my doctor basically laughed at me told me it was just because I hadn’t had sex and to come back when I did (“hopefully soon” were her words) 😑... like yea no I think not

[@bluecat3537]

I think I May have vaginismus, but I never went to the Obgyn, so I don't know yet. But this is my biggest fear. Me saying that it Hurts too much, and Them saying I have to or nothing Else can be done, as it was my decision to Not do it. If it doesn't work, what then?

[@sarasboricuaa]

I so wish more people talked about this 10 years ago when I was struggling with this! My causes were absolutely psychological caused in part by lack of sexual education and going to Roman Catholic school in the US. I had no idea what was wrong with me, at my first trip to the obgyn my doctor couldn’t even insert a cotton swab, a COTTON SWAB. All I wanted to do was use tampons and eventually have sex. Eventually with the right partner I was finally able to start changing my perspectives and get over some of the anxiety surrounding sex and penetration and was able to start enjoying it. I really encourage anyone dealing with vaginismus to stay positive and seek help, it can be treated! Now in my late twenties with experience, lots of therapy, and online content like yours, I am the most confident sexually that I’ve ever been ☺️

[@vegetaismydad5382]

Good for you. But I don't see the point in trying to fix it if I'm never going to have a romantic relationship again anyway, so...Why invest time in sex therapy when you're single and will, let's be real, definitely remain that way forever?🤷

[@tabbybabbles5180]

Ok, I’ve been told about vaginismus for YEARS and even my doctor was like “yeah that’s the problem here” and No one EVER had offered a solution. Ever. In three years.

[@AL-cg4vb]

Try estrogen inserts!! My tissue was pretty dry and inflexible and my planned parenthood provider prescribed me some estrogen vaginal inserts and it works perfectly.

[@musikinmeinemkopf394]

Dilators and Pelvic floor training combined with therapy is a common and effective method

[@jamiemichelle30]

Yes to dilators and pelvic floor training, I've also found cbd lube really helpful too xx

[@tabbybabbles5180]

Update! I got myself dilators as a late chanukkah present to me and LIFE CHANGED. It’s taken so much work and lots of pelvic floor exercises and some frustration (and lots of lube lol) but ive made ACTUAL PROGRESS. i know that i’ll probably need more work still, BUT I CAN USE A TAMPON. I CAN DO IT. I HAVE NEVER DONE THAT BEFORE! 😊

[@Guineaface1987]

@@tabbybabbles5180 Well done!! You superstar! Xx

[@monicabliss8348]

Im glad you mentioned difficulties with pelvic exams. My first visit to the gynecologist was forced on me at 18 and it was extremely traumatic and painful. I didn’t see a gynecologist for a long time after that aside from when I was having children. I usually have my pelvic exam done by my primary doctor so there’s more familiarity. I also will only see a female. My first experience was with a man and he kept saying I was overreacting as I was screaming in the exam room.

[@MC-tl5bf]

yikes that never should have happened :-(

[@sevearka]

My ex had this. Originally she didn't say anything so I felt like shit when she eventually opened up and said it had been hurting all the time. From then we tried some treatments but nothing helped; no one seemed to actually have any good ways to deal with it (how shit is it that they suggested anesthetics instead of looking for an actual treatment). Anyway we tried a couple of times more but gave up and had a flourishing sex-life experimenting with various other things. Penis was a no go, fingers were ok maybe half of the time, but vibrators worked. My ex felt like she was broken and had lots of anxiety and guilt about it being her fault somehow. She had very little experience and knowledge before actually having sex the first time, and then it was with an inconsiderate guy who was rough and hurt her (she never said anything to him, partly because of the reasons you stated), so that might have been the cause, if there even was one. I know she got better and I hope she continues to improve. Also really hope this subject gets more research and acknowledgement in the future.

[@Tis1kay]

This is such a lovely message I’m sure no matter how guilty she might have felt, she was certainly very grateful for your understanding! Its nice to see a helpful partner and not just a frustrated one

[@moanilsson3448]

A similiar thing happened to me (although I was the girl in the situation). The first few times I had sex with a guy I did not say much about how it felt. But it hurt. A lot. I usually pushed him away after a while but before that it felt horrible. It could hurt for hours afterwards. I believed he didn't care. I considered "breaking up" with him (we weren't together) but told him instead how I felt and how much it hurt. He was really surprised and asked why I didn't say anything earlier and seemed ashamed and sorry that he had hurt me. We still had some issues afterward but the sex generally became much better and I felt more comfortable with him. Moral of the story: tell your sexpartner if it hurts. If they don't care, you should probably not have sex with them again. But if they're not an asshole they will care and try to make sure you feel good in the future.

[@jenniferwilliams8863]

if you're able to have sex, I don't think you have vaginismus. vaginismus spasms shut and you can't even be penetrated. there are other conditions that can cause painful sex

[@haiiithereee30]

@@jenniferwilliams8863 did you not just watch this video??? vaginismus presents itself in different ways. your comment is really invalidating to these people's experiences. please try to be more sensitive

[@ellie-tk4jy]

Yes Jennifer some start off being able to have sex and some end up learning how through time.

[@lucyperry5820]

I find it hard to talk to doctors because everyone I have been to, seems uninterested and rude...

[@MyPieceOfHell]

same

[@meganeboulet4621]

My pelvic floor therapist told me an interesting fact about vaginismus. People with inflammatory bowel disease are more prone to it since they have developed a refelx to contract the pelvic muscles to avoid having unwanted bowel movements.

[@francyfey4646]

That‘s so interesting 😳 Never knew about it

[@Lilliana_707]

I have ulcerative colitis. This makes sense. 🤭

[@ToriBear10]

I have IBS so maybe that also contributes :S

[@redweathertiger]

you’re the best! this is so straightforward and useful. vaginal penetration is really painful for me because of anatomical issues/a physical disability. because i’m a gay woman, i never felt “broken” because of it because sex has always included so many more sex acts that don’t exist in a hierarchy. it wasn’t until i spoke with friends and family that i realized 1) how common painful vaginal penetration is and 2) how much shame/stigma is involved. my aunt was sure her husband was going to leave her (!) because of it and i was shocked. i had a friend tell me she didn’t feel like “a real woman” anymore. so upsetting. it doesn’t have to be this way! we really, really need robust sex ed and accessible healthcare.

[@nungomez7785]

is this music TALENT???🤯🤯🤯kzbin.info/www/bejne/r4WqfnulqsyGjJo

[@ChickenOfAwesome]

@maypaki alam "Trying to remedy your condition is against God's will. " Uhhuh, and I suppose if you broke your leg tomorrow you wouldn't go to the hospital and put a cast on it because its obviously 'god's will' for you to have a broken leg. GTFO of here with that shit. Women are allowed to enjoy sex and to put the time in to enjoy it however they damn well please.

[@shannonaber1768]

As a bi woman with the condition I feel this

[@ChickenOfAwesome]

@maypaki alam "Time to give up on men" with you on that one. The clitoris is perfectly accessible by a lovely lady with skilled hands (and she won't need a map).

[@matttucker5786]

Maybe you just need more lube

[@ellieshort5068]

Thank you for this, Hannah. My experience vaginismus makes me so distressed. I have been with my wonderful partner for over 3 years and he’s never put an ounce of pressure on me for anything, but we so desperately want to experience penetrative sex together. I’ve had some horrible, dismissive, and uncaring doctors that make me too anxious to go back even though I’m still struggling with this as much as ever. No one listens, I get told the same old “it’s in your mind”, “just relax, have a glass of wine!”, and “use dilators” without any help or guidance as to which ones to use and how. The effect on people’s mental health it has to be told that “you are the problem, it’s in your head” is something I have struggled with since my diagnosis. The times I am most cruel to myself is when I think about what I can’t do, how I am broken. It feels so incredibly lonely to have this condition, especially without anyone immediately around me who can empathise. That’s why it’s so important that you with your platform make videos on this subject, and it is so greatly appreciated by us!! It gives us hope. And gives hope to so many who will just now be realising that something isn’t right if sex is painful. So thank you again. You are an angel!

[@matttucker5786]

How do you think guys feel when the moment they put it in feel and blow the load right away?

[@haiiithereee30]

I didn't realise how emotional this topic made me feel until I started crying whilst watching this video 🥲 I've known about vaginismus, I've just never really seen anyone else speak about it. even though I knew I wasn't alone, it's still reassuring to have this reaffirmed

[@pepsimax8078]

I am also so mad about the «its suppose to hurt, the hyman have to be broken forcefully by a penis». The hymen (in that barrier way) is a myth! The ring of flexible flesh is real, it comes in many shapes, someone do have a barrier that needs to be opened to even let out menstrual blood. But for most people there is no barrier that needs to be forcefully broken through.

[@agnieszkakos5268]

It's a horrible myth

[@MaisieFawcett]

THANK YOU FOR THIS!!! It is NEVER spoken about and it means so much that one of the most mainstream sex educators has dedicated a whole video to it. Haven't even watched the video and I am filled with such relief and joy just in being acknowledged - THANK YOU HANNAH!!!

[@ivylynnwinchester9311]

Why didn't this at least come up when I googled those very symptoms?? And my doctor didn't care. Thank you, Hannah 💛🌻

[@nungomez7785]

is this music TALENT???🤯🤯🤯kzbin.info/www/bejne/r4WqfnulqsyGjJo

[@katielp97]

I have vaginismus and I can’t thank you enough for talking about this!

[@shannonaber1768]

Me too!

[@ellen1001]

one of my friends has this and im so glad that you're talking about it and educating people !!! thank u hannah :)

[@khushivers3]

EXACTLY THR WOOLS SUCJVA SPHKNE I DIMT EVEN HAVW THAT

[@musikinmeinemkopf394]

I have vaginismus, thanks for talking about it!

[@beca9087]

I’ve struggled with this for a few years and it’s so good to see that you are giving it awareness! Thank you x

[@snubblebubble4937]

I have vaginismus, and I can concur that it is treatable! I used to be unable to do pelvic exams, have sex, and use menstrual cups, and now I can do all of those things WITHOUT PAIN!!!!!!! I did go to about 3 months of pelvic floor physical therapy, and I still do exercises and massages at home since I have been discharged from therapy. The continuation of the exercises and massage is absolutely essential, otherwise I would relapse. I learned that I clench my pelvic floor muscles when I am stressed, and this leads to muscle knots, tightness, and burning pain. One little trick that is super helpful is when inserting anything into my vagina, I push down like I am having a poo, but with my vagina. This helps keep the muscles relaxed, but also gives me something to do. It is especially helpful for pelvic exams. If you are struggling with vaginismus, please talk to your doctor and ask about physical therapy. It will get better!

[@swatisharma6146]

Can you please share how you got rid of it using pelvic floor exercises or whatever you used to cure that. Please any help would be appreciated

[@snubblebubble4937]

@@swatisharma6146 I went to a pelvic floor physical therapist and did a program that combined exercises and dialators to get me there. I still do massage on myself once a week to prevent muscle knots from developing.

[@mzehra21]

I am currently doing fingering excercise for vaginismus. I am making progress Day by Day . now able to insert whole finger in vagina. once upon a time I was not able to relax for pelvic exam.

[@miraspringer5953]

I’ve been WAITIN for this one TURN IT UP

[@marisay1556]

Thank you so much for making this! I am currently going through physical therapy for my vaginismus. I want anyone to know who does have this that you are totally capable of having a loving, fulfilling relationship even if you suffer from this. I know it's something I worried about, but I got married while still seeking treatment and my husband is so supportive!

[@synchrosumi]

As a pelvic floor physiotherapist, I have to put it out there that while sometimes Kegels can be helpful, often if there is too much pelvic floor tension doing more reps can actually make the problem worse-- I recommend finding a pelvic floor physio (physical therapist if in the US) to help you figure out what treatments are best for you! I treat vaginismus all the time, there is a lot that can be done for it

[@jazzyjane6508]

Could you describe possible treatments please ?

[@synchrosumi]

@@jazzyjane6508 everyone's situation is different, but this website describes some of the approaches people can have with treating vaginismus: hopeandher.com/pages/vaginismus-treatment

[@sarahbrooks9943]

aaa thank you for mentioning this!! I have a very tense pelvic floor and have found it far more helpful to focus on relaxing rather than contracting. I really hope hannah sees this comment!!

[@moses7336]

but kegel makes tighter how can it help in some casses??

[@fryingpan552]

Pelvic floor physical therapists can be a great resource for helping you through this process as well since they specialize in exercises and relaxation techniques for the muscles all around and inside your pelvis!

[@maddyy9816]

THANK YOU so much for making this video, Hannah! I have vaginismus, and didn’t realize it was a real thing until this year - no one ever talks about it! I had a traumatic pap test experience a couple years ago and have been terrified to get one ever since. However, I’m currently doing pelvic floor physiotherapy and it seems to be helping, so I’m really hopeful. Much love to everyone else out there with vaginismus - it’s not your fault, you don’t need to feel pressured to do anything you don’t want to, and you can get better ❤️❤️

[@roozabikses]

Thank you so much for bringing this topic up! I have gone to quite a few gyno's to get help with this and they haven't even heard of vaginismus before and they either laugh at my pain during a pelvic exam or try to convince me it's all in my head, the pain is not real. So you making this video makes me feel validated and like I'm not insane. Thank you again, Hannah!

[@ZoeElizabeth16]

I found a youtube channel years ago (can't remember the name of it), but she said that if sex hurts, you're not turned on enough, and bleeding is not normal. The hymen is not meant to break/wrip/tear etc. I've always kept that in my head, and although late to the game, my first time was uncomfortable, but not painful at all. Speaking to my friends, and they all had horrific first times, and I'm so glad that there are people like you, informing people about how sex should actually feel. YOUR FIRST TIME SHOULDN'T HURT, AND DON'T LET ANYONE TELL YOU OTHERWISE💙

[@francyfey4646]

That‘s so true 👍 I‘ve been late to the game too because of vaginism, but it didn‘t hurt 🙏 First I was „shocked“, crying out „don’t move, don’t move 😅“, but then I enjoyed it. no blood, no pain. My partner was so understanding and still is understanding - I‘m lucky that way 🙏

[@XianghuaSmiles]

😭 thank you so much for covering this. I have this and it's so good seeing this on a big platform.

[@Stufunabu]

Thank youuuu for making this ♥️♥️♥️ I had a hard time finding info on vaginismus when I first researched about it, a video like this would have been a godsend! I'm certain it will help loads of people!

[@sweetandsoursoup]

Thank you for discussing this so kindly-your channel is such a bright spot these days.

[@TheNerdyBookNerd]

Thank you so much for this video, Hannah, and to dr Anita! I have a lot of issues with gyno visits and hearing dr Anita's reassuring words helped a bunch. Thank you!

[@kate-yf1ye]

I’ve never met a guy that actually tried to respect me needing time to warm up and not just forcing it in painfully like I don’t know if guys who would do that exist

[@Ladyn32]

Any guy who's being forceful doesn't deserve you, they are just being selfish. Just focus on what makes you happy and taking care of your body and the right guy will eventually come along. :)

[@jeremydr.salinabaker5139]

They exist. You are just attracting the wrong type of guys. My husband is always patient with me.

[@Guineaface1987]

Like others have said, men who want you to warm up exist. Any who treat you the way you have described don't deserve you at all.

[@Guineaface1987]

@maypaki alam Your thoughts on women are irrelevant. Unless you are a woman, you cannot speak for them. And unless you are God, you cannot speak for him. Your judgements are not needed or welcome here.

[@aheim100]

@@jeremydr.salinabaker5139 "You are attracting the wrong type of guys". The blame should not be put on kate17.

[@emilyhayward7162]

Thank you so much for posting this and helping to raise awareness of this common condition. I discovered I had vaginismus a few years ago and it has been such a traumatic experience and really effects your life, which people don't appreciate enough. After a couple of years working through physical therapy and having a very understanding and patient partner things are so much better but it is genuinely one of the hardest things I've ever had to go through and people don't talk about it enough. It really frustrates me how little doctors seem to know about it, never mind other people, and because it's not talked about you feel like it's really abnormal and something is wrong with you. It's still a really emotional topic for me but fellow sufferers, I promise you it can and will get better ❤️ for years I thought I was going to remain 'broken' for the rest of my life and it left me feeling so low and hating my body but being kind to yourself and working through whatever treatment works is worth it- it can be a long battle but it does get better 💚

[@dancegini]

I have this, as a gay women I don’t find it affects my sex life in any way but I am putting off my smear test because of the terror of it. It’s time I started some treatment to work myself up to having the test. Thanks for talking about this so clearly 💛

[@sylviapeterson5291]

Hannah, I've just discovered your videos and you are so amazing! I'm a 29-year-old who has made significant progress in my vaginismus journey, but it is an ongoing process, and videos like this are so rare and so impactful. I actually discovered you through a vaginismus support group on Facebook, and would definitely recommend online forums and support groups to anyone who has vaginismus. The condition can feel so isolating, but we are not alone. (Also yay for the shoutout to the Vag Network!)

[@erikamuller7449]

Finally someone speaking out about this!! Love you Hannah!

[@catcantrell6136]

This was the final push I needed to purchase a dilator set. I’ve been so scared to try, but I am hopeful! Thank you so much for your informative video. 😭♥️

[@alessandrasconza1374]

This was so informative!! Thank you for making this, I didn’t know about this condition until I began suffering from it a couple years ago. Would love to see you make a video about vulvodynia as well, it’s a similar condition that’s rarely spoken about

[@cee.collins2000]

i’m 20. i’m already crying about my smear test rn because of fear lol

[@AlienZizi]

same, vaginismus isn't really impacting me because I'm not sexually active, but knowing that I will have to get these tests done sooner or later is really scaring me. I feel totally hopeless, like I'll never be able to do it and I'll just have to grit my teeth and endure a painful exam..

[@charlottewicks]

I'm 25 and I've just had it, I promise you it's not that bad xx

[@AliciaRose]

@@AlienZizi I want to play devils advocate to the prior comment before me. Mine was painful and terrible. I was supposed to go to class after and skipped the whole day because I was in pain and bleeding. I’ve heard that’s not common but I just want you to be aware it can happen. It’s not like I’d had zero sexual experience at the time either. Find a doctor with amazing reviews online who is labeled as patient and a good listener and be prepared to care for yourself mentally and physically after.

[@Guineaface1987]

You don't need to have a smear until you are ready. For some people it's "not that bad", for others it's more difficult (eg me). I didn't have my first one until I was 30 due to Vaginismus, my last one was a week ago & it still wasn't the most comfortable. YET it was much more manageable and more comfortable due to getting specialist help.

[@LaurenLaass]

Same. That’s why I’ve never gotten one.

[@rachel8621]

Thank you for this. The smear test advice from Dr Anita Mitra is the best advice I've seen so far and it rings true to my experience of the test. I'll be sending this to friends who have put off their test from fear xxx

[@FalbertForester]

Thank you for doing this, and all of your other videos! And thanks to the staff of the UK's NHS, which is years ahead of anything in the USA.

[@Sassyray]

2 minutes in and I learn I have this. Thank you Hannah. I’ll be talking to my doctor about it. ❤️

[@mel8805]

Im so glad you're educating about this!! I think that I may have this but when I went to a local gynaecologist doctor they refused to see me as they didnt believe in vaginismus and implied I was being stupid for thinking I had it. Im on the way to find a better one in my area but yeah even in the medical world some people are so ignorant about it!

[@abitilston9890]

Thank you so much for making a video about this!! I’ve struggled with it for a while, due to a mixture of anxiety and physical causes. It made me feel broken and ashamed, and having all this information has really helped!

[@abitilston9890]

@maypaki alam stfu

[@0hhmyydarlingg]

thank you so much for talking about this. i’ve been dealing with vaginismus since i lost my virginity last year. it has made me somewhat sex repulsed because of the pain. it feels like such a lonely struggle most of the time. it is frustrating because i just want to experience and love sex the way many people talk about it.

[@annekebrakenhoff1676]

Crying while watching this... Struggled with this during the last months of a bad relationship, and it was just so hard and horrible. Luckily it's better now. Very nice to see someone talk about it, because it's so lonely when you experience it. Especially when you can't talk about it with your partner... Thank you so much Hannah ❤️❤️

[@jamiemichelle30]

I love that you've made this video, I was diagnosed this year not even realising I've had it for most of my life. Thank you for being so informative and sharing an array of different causes too. I just wanted to raise some medical advice given to me on my journey; you mentioned kegel exercises, and I wanted to caution people against taking up regular kegel exercises as a treatment without the advice of a medical professional, as it can actually make this condition worse - if you have vaginismus your pelvic floor muscles are already very good at contracting!

[@saffront1853]

This couldn't have come at a better time for me! Recently undergoing a tentative diagnosis for vaginismus and was feeling really down about it, this was so helpful Hannah! Best video on vaginismus that I've seen yet!!!

[@jilliancatherine4122]

thank you so much for posting this Hannah! I've been dealing with this for a while and it's been really frustrating.

[@catalina5394]

i see a lot of comments talking about crying listening to this video and i can relate witj that. i'm 25 and i've tried two paps already with no success. i have terrible anxiety and i've also never been with anybody or had anything internally. honestly just listening to the video gave me some anxiety. i haven't been diagnosed with this but i am 98% postitive i have it. lucky my doctor is amazing and she took her time with me and i made progress but i'm also still very anxious and it still hasn't been completed. it's hard because i know it's important for my body, and i want to make sure i'm okay but sometimes i have feelings of i'd rather not and just good luck. i'm very thankful there was a video about this and i hope to start helping myself get better and relaxed as soon as i feel mentally ready to. thank you, hannah.

[@PaNsY2215]

Thanks for sharing this! Just another thing to note, there's an external one called vulvodynia and it's easily confused with vaginismus. It's great we are talking about these issues more.

[@gingerels]

ah there are so so many things lacking in school sex ed its crazy!? thank you Hannah and Dr Anita for the education on all of this - going for a pelvic exam or a smear test is something I have always been so nervous about as they sound so intimidating :/ but I feel so much more reassured listening to Anita explain the process :)

[@josefinekarmisholt9080]

I either have vaginismus or extreme anxiety about vaginal penetration. And it fucking sucks that I can't just rewire my brain. Thank you so much for talking about this❤️ also it fucking sucks being a woman sometimes

[@amirahzaky]

Great video! I love that you mentioned receiving a sex-negative education can be a cause of vaginismus. I have definitely found this to be true in the work that I do with my customers and clients.

[@Maria27033]

Thank you so much for talking about that subject! When I realised I had Vaginismus I felt broken but it has actually taught me so much about myself and that sex includes so much more. My boyfriend’s patience and understanding also helped me so much!

[@woolypuffin392]

The video with the Doctor was so calm and nice 😊

[@Jack-sy8mr]

Thanks as always Hannah for educating and destigmatizing 💛

[@soniabe4999]

Thank you so much for this ❤️❤️❤️ I wish i had seen this video when I was experiencing symptoms, being diagnosed and feeling so low 💕💕 (thankfully now thanks to treatment and our amazing NHS doing so so much better)

[@kitfaced33]

I was diagnosed with this in college! Thank you for using your platform to talk about this!!

[@anitauwineza8753]

How did you treat it ? Do you mind sharing

[@ST-vt4nu]

"It's supposed to hurt" is so unhealthy. For me it hurt like hell, but my partnet kept going after I said to stop using that dumb excuse.. And what does hurt mean? There's a huge difference between light discomfort and extreme pain

[@annaa.4982]

I‘ve been waiting for a video about that issue. Thanks a lot Hannah!

[@elizabethjane6037]

I’m sure this video will help many people. Thank you for making it ❤️ Understanding this when I first found out about it felt like a light bulb moment. Hoping others can have the same understanding of their bodies and experiences better.

[@imvee23]

Thank you so much for this video, it was so informative ! Sending you love from France ❤️ Also : the gynecologist has such mesmerizing eyes wow

[@tatevikhovhannisyan8840]

Not only "it is gonna hurt, also you MUST bleed the first time."

[@mishymashy11]

Thank you for bringing awareness to this!

[@nungomez7785]

is this music TALENT???🤯🤯🤯kzbin.info/www/bejne/r4WqfnulqsyGjJo

[@brynna8619]

I need a new OB once Covid has calmed down.. thank you for including Dr. Mitra in this

[@graceharvey2909]

Thank you so much for this video! I’ve been putting off my smear test due to a really bad experience with getting a coil inserted/it rejecting a few years ago. Hearing about the procedure from a gynae has been so helpful with putting me at ease. Always so grateful that you’re providing education on things we were never taught at school, it’s so important.

[@hannahwitton]

I'm glad it's helped - good luck!

[@Sophie_Cleverly]

You can also ask for them to use the smallest speculum and that helps a lot! ❤️

[@graceharvey2909]

@@Sophie_Cleverly thank you, I didn’t even know that was something you could ask for!

[@megantaylor2871]

I had vaginismus but didn’t know until my wedding night when we attempted sex for the first time. The condition has been very traumatic for me. Thank you for talking about this.

[@samig1173]

I’m crying reading these stories wow, I’ve had this condition my whole life but never knew there was a name for it and always felt so broken. hope you are in a better place hunny❤️

[@LifeofMorag]

Thanks for this video Hannah and normalising talking about our bodies. I had to have an internal scan to help work out why I wasn't having periods and it was a completely horrible experience and the doctor made me feel so stupid. Since then talking to people I have realised that lots of people have issues with scans or also smear tests and similar things. It isn't a failing or your choice to struggle with things like this. These are things that we should be learning about in sex ed and that doctors should help us feel more at ease.

[@Krennn]

I really love and appreciate your informational videos like this. Vaginismus is something my partner suffers from and she carried so much of a stigma about it until we started talking to other friends and saw a non covered specialist who was affirming and helped provide ideas and tools (like you did) to help better frame what she was experiencing. Watching this now, I also really wish this was more talked about for people of any gender because there is so much mystery that is left to the way side about sexual conditions or affects that many people write off because they were never taught or it's not socially "okay" to talk about it.

[@shannonaber1768]

Starting pelvic PT for this So glad to see people talking about this

[@edenseraphina6156]

I cried last night because I felt ready to ya know.. but yet my body wasn't. I'm so glad I found this video to understand alot about what I may be going through. I will definitely get in touch with my gp about it!

[@justinee1371]

I highly recommend pelvic floor therapists to walk you through pelvic floor exercises! I had a truly excellent one

[@nimrodgrrrl]

Thank you so much for this video! I could cry. 💖

[@emma55584]

Thank you for talking about this, I’ve had this since when I can remember and every time I’m reminded it makes me so frustrated and ashamed.. I hope I can get over it someday

[@Guineaface1987]

I'm working on it too, in my early 30s. We will get past this one day xx

[@composmentis9469]

Can I date. I am 30

[@theonlyenekoeneko]

Can we just appreciate for a moment the inclusive language used in the video 💛💛💛

[@magicalvelcro]

honestly, that subtitle is sending me. but in all seriousness, it took me about 8+ years to get diagnosed with vaginismus and it's still an ongoing journey despite taking medication (in the early days) and having been through therapy (which was so, so helpful). at one point i was told i had a small vagina by a male doctor lmao. i feel like i've only just started making real progress at 30 (for reference i went to my GP about this at 18), and even though it's small i have to remind myself that it's SOMETHING. every step counts. reading all of the comments makes me feel less alone so thank you for making this video, hannah T^T 💖

[@mayamaccorquodale4263]

Thank you so much for talking about this!! I have vaginismus and I think it's important talk about! However, I would just add that what often comes with vaginismus is vulvodynia, which is often what can fuel that burning sensation. In this case numbing cream (prescription) is SO helpful. Great vid! xx

[@IamElegna]

This is brilliant, thank you so mycj once again for sharing this knowledge

[@DeceptoNephrom]

thanks for being blunt and honest!!!! very helpful!!!! :D

[@philosofia_]

I have been WAITING for this video...could have used it years ago 🥲

[@thequestionedpodcast]

Omg I'm being represented! Yay and at the same time no cuz it sucks

[@karpar384]

I had never heard of this before, very educational!

[@maeveb4847]

this was the first time I have heard “you don’t need to have p in v sex if you don’t want to” 🤭 cannot explain how much this video empowered me, thank you for sharing and talking about vaginismus Hannah!!

[@mishymashy11]

I have this :( currently just started treatment. It’s so painful and I wish I knew what it was after years of dealing with painful sex not understanding why. And yes I thought my first time was painful because... it was my first time lol zzz. My ex was very dismissive too :(

[@mishymashy11]

@maypaki alam im an atheist

[@Guineaface1987]

@@mishymashy11 Regardless of whether you're an atheist or not, what that person said to you was unacceptable. I've reported several of their comments on this video for harassment.

[@mishymashy11]

@@Guineaface1987 honestly it did upset me. I guess I just said that to them to hit back :( thank you for reporting ♥️

[@Guineaface1987]

@@mishymashy11 You're welcome. I'm not surprised you were upset. I was upset for you. I have vaginismus myself, so I know the stress and upset it can cause emotionally alongside the physical aspects. The last thing any of us need is someone claiming it's God's will that we suffer, even if they do - wrongly - believe that. And I'm saying that as a Christian myself! I hope you're feeling okay now. All the best as you work through all of this xx

[@hpfan1thru74ever]

Thank you for this! I totally have this, I never knew this was an actual thing with a name!

[@valerie.magnan]

I got diagnosed today with a vulvodynia (pain and bleeding during and after a relation) by a new doctor after being told by my old doctor that « I was just made like that and that i had to bear through the pain, cuz there was nothing she could do ». I was lead to believe that I was broken and that I wasn’t normal for two years before seeing my new doctor. Thank you for your videos and thank you for tell us that we aren’t broken even if our vagina works a little differently, i needed that ❤️

[@konstancjam9239]

❤❤❤ thank you for speaking about this!

[@moonlightj0y]

My OBGYN and doctors told me "I'm normal" and they couldn't even tell me what was wrong with me, it was when I did my own research that I've discovered that I can possibly have this. It is so spot on. I wish there was more awareness on this topic. I suffer from this, and it is horrible! Some doctors don't even give you proper information on this.

[@ajayul8320]

Thank you SO MUCH for talking about this

[@amymitchell785]

I got diagnosed At 17 and I felt so ashamed and so alone because no one I knew had this at my age and getting intimate testing like this. It nice to hear people talk about I live in a very rural community and things like are not spoken about so thanks

[@composmentis9469]

are you crured now