The Great OpenTTD Torture War

[@thespiffingbrit]

*I can't believe you got an open ttd video on trending in 2022*

[@keyreset]

Bit late innit?

[@NovelPond]

What do you mean. There is no better game than openTTD

[@thespiffingbrit]

@@keyreset I have just finished watching the video 48 times.

[@zarnox3071]

@@thespiffingbrit It's even better the 49th time.

[@MightyMooncowsback]

Perhaps there's an exploit to make this trend more often 🤔

[@lostman681]

"I give this man real life money to treat me like this" Vale: "art of the deal"

[@zachm9202]

Art of the findom

[@ianalex9062]

@@zachm9202 This is such a great comment with so few words

[@itsvaeydt]

It's a fair trade

[@hiveling-111]

The art of the compromise...

[@SilverFoxSpirit97]

I love how we call Vale the sadistic one when Maivi is here, offering a "charitable" aid donation that just so happens to completely bankrupt the recipient xD Vale: "Haha, lets give them aid, but like, only $10" Maivi: "Let's destroy all of their hopes and dreams through a seemingly charitable act so they can't complain"

[@UnePintade]

White elephant litteraly

[@arnathos2788]

I love the realism! Finland has 2 seasons, winter and road reconstruction.

[@timothymclean]

The Midwest (USA) has four: Almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction. So basically the same thing, just a little more optimistic.

[@aurora4xabo665]

Yup winter and repairing the most worn parts of the roads.

[@viviennestoys2436]

​

[@gerald216]

​@@timothymclean North East Ohio has gone full Finland at this point. The best part about it is it's the same roads getting dug up every season!

[@sirllamaiii9708]

Much like Wisconsin...

[@lukaskubik4698]

Less then 5 minutes in and Vale has already decided to run a railway through Amazon, blown up a river and found Birmingham in Brazil.

[@gideon903]

The Lost City of Birmingham

[@lukaskubik4698]

@@gideon903 I wish it was lost.

[@AlexRodriguez0407]

@@lukaskubik4698 the media will tell you that "Birmingham" exists but that's a lie, the land where "Birmingham" exists is actually just the location of a nuclear wasteland filled with nothing but radiation and the binley mega chippy

[@greenoftreeblackofblue6625]

Finding Birmingham was the most evil deed yet by him.

[@floridaball4896]

@@lukaskubik4698 *still lost

[@friedwaldderlebendige8494]

i love how one of the "perks" of being a valefisk patreon is literally the privilege to get tortured by him on a regular basis

[@blunderingfool]

Blatantly unfair challenges are fun sometimes, like AI war! Or 7 V 1 Supreme Commander.

[@holy_crusaderoftheholyland4713]

And we get the front roll seat to watch!

[@ulric8445]

i bet his server is fucking cancer torture to interact on as well

[@ulric8445]

@Preacher i'm already losing interest

[@zachm9202]

It's called Findom

[@Not_actually_a_commie]

Lynx embracing the role of Jesse was a beautiful sight to behold

[@昭夫-o6y]

I was in tears

[@C4Cole05]

@@昭夫-o6y It was at that moment that he truly became the The Great OpenTTD Torture War. I'm in tears

[@fredrikkirderf2907]

yeah railroads bitch -josse Lynxmen of the better call los pollos bad anime

[@thecamocampaindude5167]

@@fredrikkirderf2907 im AM THE ONE who asks when it happened

[@archsteel7]

Bravo, Lynx.

[@theredsoldier26]

The fact that Vale made an entire earth map, just to fuck with people, honestly impresses me. I've seldom seen someone do so much, for a shitpost.

[@somethingotherthanmyrealname]

He did also make an entire board game and also an actual video game for the same purpose. He is the king of shitposting.

[@4Moth2Mellow0]

@@somethingotherthanmyrealname For an unplayable trash demo. And a crayon made board game. You sure are full of something.

[@512TheWolf512]

@@somethingotherthanmyrealname pretty sure sseth is still better at shitposting, and more efficient, too.

[@reeceshugrue6167]

This is honestly one of the best earth maps I've seen, did Vale ever upload the map?

[@Spetsnazdan]

@@reeceshugrue6167 High key looking for the map

[@sirjuggles]

Honestly Maivi is the secret monster of this video. Sounding so perky and cheerful while suggesting things that will just utterly break the spirits of the poor struggling patrons. Getting big "sweet precocious daughter of the supervillain making her father proud by following in his footsteps" vibes every time she proposes anything.

[@maou5508]

I love how much love, care, and dedication, Valefisk uses to *properly* torture his friends. He is, afterall, not a cruel man.

[@nathanlee7039]

@Maou Very straightforward and straight to the point tbh.

[@DustD.Reaper]

Brazoil worked so well because there like a happy little sadistic family Vale was the head of the company and the mastermind behind genius plans like "fuck with Finland" or the even greater "fuck with Finland by spaming airports" Mavi was Vales right hand, who convinced him to not give Finland some pity change and instead rubbed salt in their wounds by nuking their roads and later making their slow wood bridge feel insignificant by building faster bridges, which went absolutly nowhere, right next to it And lastly Dyno who just wanted to Vales money to buy helicopters, blimps and boats, but then made Vale and Mavi proud with his crowning achivement Train #23

[@jestalt6442]

Valefisk is the new icon for sadism

[@petrimal]

Wrong! Sado-*Maso*-chism!

[@theastrogamer710]

He's always been

[@MacKotish]

tHe LoNgEr ThE iCoN oF sIn Is On EaRth, ThE StrOnGeR It WiLl BeCoMe

[@Vexin980]

Marquis de Sade, take a step back! Valefisk is the new face of sadism.

[@FuelDropforthewin]

Allow me to introduce you to Let's Game It Out. Valefisk is good, but he is not clinically insane. LGIO is.

[@timthndr2996]

Playing this without playing was fun and got me addicted to this game for a couple of days. Some day the Bunker LTD company will come for the Valussy, even though we got cheated (as expected).

[@Inyourface3445]

How did you post 22h ago? The video was released 1min ago as of writing.

[@pigura]

@@Inyourface3445 patreon

[@timthndr2996]

@@Inyourface3445 Elder rat gang

[@LugiatheOceanGuardian]

@@4Moth2Mellow0 you should put your extra chromosome to work as well you toxic dirtbag.

[@arianghorbani1305]

@@4Moth2Mellow0 better to be a bit ignorant than mean-spirited tbh

[@LynxHylix]

All hail the milk train

[@teddy5752]

🥛🚄

[@St3lla-MaR1s]

All Hail The Milk Train ALL HAIL THE MILL TRAIN!!!!!

[@spacefonz949]

Abby Shapiro

[@catman404]

Milkkkkkkkk

[@The_bad_villain]

🥛🥛🥛🥛🚄🚄

[@D3LTA48]

22:11 I had to know. The bridge goes from around St. John's, Canada to just west of Nantes, France. Thats around 2,324 Miles (~3740 km). At the speed of 144 km/h (89 mi/h), it would take around 26 hours to cross just the bridge, not to mention the ride from Dallas.

[@swumprat]

Neat.

[@blunderingfool]

Hopefully it's a sleeper train.

[@gregottorry2994]

26 hours doesn't sound bad...

[@Erick-tv8oq]

I was thinking about what engineers would have to go through to get a bridge that size to not fucking melt or crumble into pieces. It's going through the Equator too, meaning there is a sizeable ammount of it that gets way more sun than everything else, everyday, all year. I don't even want to think of what would happen if there was a trafic jam and people being forced to stay inside their car in one of the hottest places of the entire world. A truly unimaginable engineering nightmare

[@VRafe]

​@@Erick-tv8oq would be a damn shame if some guy called Valefisk made a traffic jam on Equator

[@1vantheterrible814]

Ok, so I did the math for the Dallas-Paris Railroad: - Assuming straight railroads and ignoring mountains and pre-existing rail infrastructure, the whole railway would be around 8644 km (5371 miles) long. - The rail would go through the cities of Paris St. John's St. Pierre and Miquelon Louisbourg Saint John Boston N.Y.C. Washington D.C. Norfolk Atlanta New Orleans Dallas - The train travelling at 144 kph (89.5 mph) would take almost exactly 60 hours to travel between Dallas and Paris, assuming no stops.

[@DParkerNunya]

That's actually much more reasonable than I would have expected

[@Steamworker_Evolair]

So you're telling me i could take a train from St. John's to Saint John?

[@4jayco]

When he was threatening Vale and said “I’ll lick your boots” amidst a string of other insults I had a genuine double take

[@johnathanboone198]

Gooch, not boots, its even more... Inimate than that

[@PointsofData]

I think he was backpedaling because Vale said they were going to destroy Scandinavia

[@cassion287]

i was, i was actually the welsh man in the video and frankly i was in genuine fear@@PointsofData

[@deevee5327]

"I'll take this up with the Board" "NOO PLEASE NOOOOOO-"

[@HonoraryAperture]

41:11 for anyone looking for this masterpiece of cinematography.

[@aboredprophet8128]

I chilled in spectator mode for half of it, took over an abandoned company, went bankrupt and then watched in confusion as the world went to shit. All while reading an online guide to OpenTTD as this video was my first experience in OpenTTD

[@YetAnotherInv]

1:56 I've always thought that OpenTTD's economy needed to be about as complicated as Victoria II's.

[@timothymclean]

I'd think making it complicated like Factorio's would fit better. ...actually, what would happen if we combined Factorio's production chains with Vicky 2's market simulations?

[@kirbypsicopata29]

@@timothymclean theres a good chance an accurate world economy would form, slave/child labor and all that good corporate stuff

[@donpollo3154]

What if we made them play victoria II or III?

[@YetAnotherInv]

@@kirbypsicopata29 Ah, my personal favourites, along with organ harvesting!

[@1a2b]

tbh as someone who plays with industry sets more complicated yet is not very smart, the flowchart overcomplicates a things a lot of the top is just farms, which are technically unique but can be generalised there's also quarry materials, which also can be generally generalised it all boils down to being just feeding many primary things into one secondary industry group and then tertiaries aren't very often hard to get to before funneling into engineering supplies which can loop back on the same lines

[@magnificentbeard5506]

Meanwhile I was just in Africa learning how to play the game and watching the chaos unfold in the Brazoil-Finnish War. If this ever happens again I think I've developed some ideas...

[@cookiebombcasualemail5284]

I love the sound of this but let's be real Vale is gonna make it even worse the second time

[@magnificentbeard5506]

​@@cookiebombcasualemail5284 It doesn't help that my memory is bad and I forgot all the ideas I had. Dang.

[@cookiebombcasualemail5284]

@@magnificentbeard5506 RIP

[@ianalex9062]

I love how the entire video is Dyno making crazy risky plays, and ALL of them succeeding.

[@brotarkus]

“I give this man real life money for him to treat me like this” has got to be one of the funniest things I’ve heard in a minute.

[@mr.goatcheese2090]

I’m fairly certain that the “money glitch” in real life is just called fraud

[@actuallyIDontExist]

No it's mild fundraising

[@justfox3577]

40:21 that plane landing synchronised with the discord sound is just fucking beautyfull

[@nickname-1416]

"hello, my loyal subjects, i had a board meeting and we have decided that the baltic sea is ugly, so we are going to get rid of it"

[@impguardwarhamer]

'I guess you guys don't understand economics' "I GUESS YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND EMPATHY VALE"

[@uvutv-ol8qk]

I mean, as someone who is studying economics, it seems like those two things are mutually exclusive.

[@Notapiering]

i feel like at some point the word "Dictator" is not even going to be enough to describe Valefisk and i don't know whether to be happy or scared.

[@theapexsurvivor9538]

Eventually he'll just be Tyrannus Rex.

[@declanjones8888]

@@theapexsurvivor9538 Tyrannus Vale? Tyrannus Fisk? Vannus Fisksaurus??!!??

[@jero37]

That is what the word Emperor is for.

[@joaquincobas2223]

4:28 That moment is just perfect, Vale, unable to predict the absolute bombshell that was about to be dropped on him, *BrazOil* , the way it is pronounced, like it was just another word, a simple joke not understanding the power behind the term, but what is better is Vale's realization and reaction of what was just said, and the inmediate adoption of the word as the Company name This is definitely, the peak of cinematography

[@vexed832]

I want to see a map of Europe with the Baltic sea completely filled with landmass, and the caption "I've unseaed your Baltic"

[@the-letter_s]

Atlantropa but with plastered engineers and ran by Hyperboreans

[@nickcook2775]

"Welcome to the medditerranean, now 2,000% more terranean (my insurance providers won't answer my calls anymore)!"

[@itsvaeydt]

Remember when the Russians unseaed the aral?

[@Real7419]

Vale is determined to bring his patreon income to 0, one poor tortured soul at a time

[@pirig-gal]

The upside of being Patron is that you can end up in one of Vale's videos. The downside - you can end up in one of Vale's videos.

[@pirig-gal]

@Preacher I agree that this type of content will get boring before long. But I'm enjoying what he's put out so far.

[@samlund8543]

“I was wondering what would break first: your spirit… or your wallet!”

[@ALoser-ThisIsTotallyUnique]

@@pirig-gal idk man ive been coming back and rewatching this video every couple of weeks since it came out and the screams of the finnish still sustains me

[@ALoser-ThisIsTotallyUnique]

@@pirig-gal back again, to rewatch, and also prove a point

[@mcbralee3532]

if Los Pollos Hermanos knew how much Liverpool loved Meth they wouldn't have deleted it

[@Brent-jj6qi]

22:00 Dallas to Paris via modern high speed rail would be 2 days at most, with rail from back then it would be around 7-8, in game trains would take 4-5, so it would be a perfectly reasonable times

[@DParkerNunya]

I'd do a week on a train, sounds fun

[@claudetheclaudeqc6600]

@@DParkerNunya on the bridge, losing sanity as you just see the same bridge over and over and over again :)

[@JMB713-A]

Vale needs to do a video where he teams up with the rats and goes against the main crew.

[@timothymclean]

What are the odds that the rats suspect a trap the whole time, causing the alliance to collapse?

[@singularityraptor4022]

He is too much of a pussy to do that

[@JMB713-A]

@@timothymclean Very high, But that's the fun part

[@Totasfunnynumber]

Or everyone makes something in order to torture valefisk

[@nickcook2775]

I legitimately play OpenTTD, and I also play with FIRS. The amount of time I’ve spent thinking about what factories im going to buy without actually doing anything is insane…

[@nickcook2775]

Also that big bridge is a glorious landmark i salute you good sir

[@SaxaphoneWalrus]

I can't see OpenTTD without thinking of the Yogscast, and now I want Vale to be on Jingle Jam this year. Torture, but for charity, sounds about right.

[@demolisherman1763]

I feel like I would enjoy this significantly more if I understood anything that was going on

[@dragonace119]

Money go up is good, money go down is bad.

[@KavsLockedOut]

i builda the train

[@ember_falls]

never heard of this game but I understood the basic gist of it from this video and had a lot of fun anyway

[@christiandanielcaballero1896]

Dyno just making money in the background is very impressive.

[@chickendragon2966]

14:06 "Welcome to America, bitch" after placing down a bunch of confusing, useless roads is accurate ngl. Props to BrazOil for coming up with with the sheerly *creative* ways to torment the patrons. He is the reason we have the 8th amendment.

[@tehquiper6796]

Watching Vale's YT videos is like living in the capital during the hunger games, except it doesn't matter how rich you are to be in the capital

[@mugz0859]

Becoming a patron would then be like buying a ticket to participate.

[@Virtrial]

I was indeed able to manufacture alcohol for Detroit in nova scotia using grain from Chicago transported via barges.

[@Astar24653]

"i pay this man real life money for him to treat me like this" lmao

[@CrabQueen]

Its funny how mad vale's patreons get when they get exactly what they paid for

[@timothymclean]

"I'm starting to think this was a poor use of my money."

[@rei_ikko]

I’m sure they’re having fun being tortured and being in vale’s videos and making vale happy by being his guinea pigs LOL

[@gabrielcarvalho4853]

As a brazillian, and based on your performance in this game, i grant you, Valefisk, complete control of our country, as it seems you are the most qualified person to have it.

[@LunaNicoleTheFox]

I was too lazy to be part of this and I regret it cause it would have been fucking hilarious.

[@donovangamez1119]

I have not laughed as hard as i laughed at train 23 in my entire life that is the funniest shit i have ever seen

[@LifeWKai]

40:38 comedic genius

[@kingtonsiljockey528]

"Dyno Please Die" 🤣 I never noticed that before.

[@mellow_mallow]

Personally I fucking lost it at "I am the man who destroyed Saint Paul"

[@mellow_mallow]

Apparently it's St Louis not St Paul I'm just very very ignorant

[@markaldrich8753]

Every day, they get one step closer to becoming sadists in Open Roller Coaster Tycoon 2

[@SupersuMC]

Yesssss!

[@samreid6010]

41:10 the pure panicked cry after he said he’d take it up with the board was perfect

[@imperialfist2304]

The fact that these people pay you actual, real, dollar, money and know what your videos are about and STILL dance to your tune truly shows that you really are a legendary puppet master.

[@St3lla-MaR1s]

With each valefisk video his friends die a little bit more, and with each video he grows stronger.

[@итутнанегоупалкирпич]

Maivi is a perfect little demon in this video, that helps main villain with advises, while hiding its true nature behind cuteness

[@hiveling-111]

"I would like to allocate a 2 million pound budget to completely remove Australia" are the most intimidating words I have ever heard, even more out of context.

[@1Henrink]

The Patreon asking if what Vale is doing is to torture them, is like he doesn't even know what he pays for.

[@LordAini]

We need an openTTD Valefisk vs SpiffyBrit face off please

[@liftfork]

I like how Vale calls Los Pollos Hermanos supervillains for destroying cities and then later in the video he just straight up fills in the Baltic Sea

[@actuallyIDontExist]

And destroying Hawaii

[@dave6437]

The board discussing what to do is the greatest thing I have seen all week.

[@xdarin_]

I love how Lynx didn't want to join Los Pollos Hermanos™, and yet became the biggest roleplayer in the entire company

[@svijj_]

OpenTTD multiplayer is secretly a dystopian cyberpunk strategy game, where megacorporations wage literal wars over profits and shipping rights

[@LiliumOrientalis]

Secretly?

[@MrSkerpentine]

new big brother just dropped :)

[@frandurrieu6477]

"Are you guys just trying to torture us, is this what this video is?" Is there any video that isn't vale just Torturing people?

[@jenkinsfamily2229]

Whoever came up with naming the company “Brazoil” deserves a medal

[@agamemnon7518]

Train 23 was just about the best things I've ever seen, props to Dyno

[@liambellamy7222]

I dream that one day Valefisk will discover the ultimate torture game, Campaign for North Africa

[@tacozilla3889]

They literally went through the five stages of grief in like a minute over OPENTTD 45:10 Denial 45:20 Anger 45:25 Bargaining 45:40 They left, depression ...Yeah there's no acceptance only sadness

[@Wynnie1121]

Michael Reeves hates his fanbase with a passion, vales fanbase hates him with a passion

[@MrsProudlyCanadian]

I want Vale to release the full videos of all his torture sessions. I think they would be worth the watch

[@chair42]

You mean like the 10 HOUR board games? I respectfully disagree.

[@dynamo8846]

@@chair42 As someone who was there, I agree with you

[@actuallyIDontExist]

As someone who is 8 months late and wasn't there I think it'd be funny

[@evanherynk5863]

I ain't gonna lie. The canals over the ocean had me all kinds of messed up.

[@jasonpratt5126]

"I just can't get over the Big Bridge.." -- quality pun.

[@lucania101710]

"My true goal wasn't to be nice and friendly". What a twist, truly unbelievable that a kind hearted soul like Vale would ever stoop to torturing his friends, this is why I watch this channel, keep up the great work.

[@mrpineapplecc5342]

I’ve watched so many of Vales videos but this is undoubtedly my favorite one

[@AChamber]

Torturing other people is great fun, just don't want it happening to me

[@kormoxkall6687]

Sup Valefisk. OpenTTD is a gem of a game - If you ever do another video on this... Try the 1 city, 1 industry challenge. Only use 1 city, Only use 1 goods factory, 1 saw mill etc. Sounds easy no? Good luck staying ahead of people with having to have all your trains, cars, planes going to ONE place. Ever seen 250 trains on 1 track with people who have never played the game and they try to figure out how to make tracks.

[@Chorwacjen]

I love the tags on social blade "valefisk horror game" "monkey" "valefisk torture" "mega gaming"

[@CaptainTowll]

When only one team knows that the further you transport a good the more you make

[@ThCp__]

I like how they had to use an exploit to make a measly 120M pounds, while actual transports would have raised about the same amount by that time

[@thelonesculler]

Spiff: *fucks about with the game* Vale: *fucks about with the players*

[@dynamo8846]

Train 23 my beloved

[@maivioz]

🖤

[@jaraghasha2771]

the urge to murder has never being stronger

[@77gameboy30]

Just want to say, you have definitely become one of the stable channels I watch. Not only is the pain of only the highest quality, but you and your friends have great chemistry to listen to. Keep being chaos incarnate, Vale :D

[@Conumbra]

"I give this man real life money for him to treat me like this." Is this findom?

[@maxwellweiss9849]

Lynx has the experience and f the kid who shows up last to the sleepover and has to play Minecraft on the 360 with a race wheel

[@mashmachine4087]

I always like to think that you're called Gregor Samsa because every video in your channel is just a weird little bureaucracy that's rigged against everyone

[@dodgy_jammer281]

I remember playing OpenTTD with my mates, was a chilled out first week and then just pure trolling hoping to screw one over 😂 this warms my heart seeing this video

[@Lord_Jiamuru]

This is your funiest video yet, holy crap I was dying the whole time.

[@seventeen777]

People come for a torture war, but they stay for the breaking bad role-play

[@THE_ONLY_REAL_WAFFLE]

Another 46 minutes Im going to spend doing nothing but watching chaos Edit: just finished watching, now i want to fill in The baltic

[@KrynTheDragonKing]

Honestly my favorite video of yours, I watched it when it came out and just this week alone I’ve watched it twice

[@kingpanguan]

I always knew this game is great to torture people and now you've proven it in a great video

[@newgate-zerohour]

I freaking love Dyno's role in this, he does the best gags

[@enderboy1824]

8:03 “288,000 liters of MILK Jesse”

[@shuvelstone1331]

That was the greatest torture video so far, the sound of despair in their voices was A5 quality! Keep it up, vale!

[@cassion287]

thank you, i put on my best screams of agony

[@andypaul1503]

the biggest pain was the way he pronounces Newfoundland

[@skkaina9514]

Finland: exists Vale: fuck you *unseas your Baltic

[@KingDerpy13]

The fact that people knows what Valefisk does to his Patrons, and yet they *still* give him money and are like, "YES, MORE, COME ON, TORTURE ME NEXT, FISK DADDY", astounds me.

[@Iampaztro]

I like how Vale is now know for his torture techniques, both mental and physical.

[@kingduckie9135]

As of writing this, over 800,000 people have watched this video. If we work together and buy all the soil from every store we can. We can fill in the Baltic together.

[@unitedfoxesofyoutube3283]

Fun fact:BrazOil actually exists,though not named BrazOil. Petrobrás is an oil(Petróleo in portuguese) company that was(and I think still is) government owned,and if you translate Petrobrás to english you pretty much would get roughly Brazoil. THEY ACTUALLY MADE A REAL WORLD OIL COMPANY.

[@EquinoxDoodles]

Seeing that row of boats roll out made me laugh so hard I couldn't breathe.

[@oofwa]

55hours from Dallas to Paris on a train over the Atlantic Ocean sounds like a great deal to me

[@zcritten]

*see's this cool earth map he's using* Oh I hope whatever modder or creator made that gets credit it's really cool "Oh yeah I made this and I'm pretty proud of it" Jesus vale you're content is genuinely astoundingly well made and you could easily put half the effort you do and into it and It'd still be some of my favourite stuff on the site

[@30cal23]

Vale please release this map on the workshop! EDIT : did the math for a low speed train (90 mph) but instead of the route vale chose i did new york to france which came out to 3,698 miles and its only a days ride give or take a few hours. thats not as crazy as i thought

[@Jsay18]

Making Money in OpenTTD is as easy placing 2 airports in the two biggest downs, and a few planes to transport passengers and Mail. Remember to place some bus stops (pop growth) and a truck stop at the city center to deliver goods to the city for profit and relations.

[@aidanmartin4583]

All that fighting in Scandinavia made me really happy. I think I like watching people suffer a bit too much.