Verbal Self Defense / Setting boundaries

In this video we talk about the undercover predator.
The 3 phases of an undercover predator are:
1) Intrusion
2) Desensitization
3) Isolation
Next we use the "Name it, Tame it, Change it" drill in order to set clear boundaries. Honestly over the years of teaching self defense I have found that teaching the physical components is easier for people to learn than the emotional ones. However they have a tendency to support each other. As you learn how to deal with things on a physical level it tends to strengthen your emotional capacities.
Next we do the "line in the sand drill". This is nothing more than writing an algorithm. If someone crosses this line, then I will take this action. All these decisions need to be made ahead of time, because in the heat of the moment you most likely wont have the time to think about what you should do. Phase two is setting a penalty if that line is crossed.
"If you state the penalty but can't bring yourself to apply the penalty....the person now knows you to be an empty threat. All your boundaries disappear". -Rory Miller

[@joshcoyle3883]

I really love the idea of these principles. Physical self defense is really a last case scenario. There are so many more tools to employ. All of these lessons are forms of self defense where escalation to physicality may not even be necessary. It takes a lot of inner strength and confidence in order to state what you are uncomfortable with. Just like any physical self defense technique it takes practice and a familiarity in order to utilize it properly when the time comes. Very well taught Peter and Justin and great work ladies!

[@InstinctDefenseAcademy]

Thanks Josh. I appreciate your insightful comments.

[@melrobinson2111]

This is one of the best training classes I have seen.on here. Fabulous guys!

[@stringbean4693]

An excellent video. Very sane advice. Need more like these to spread awareness

[@Miro-the-Dreamling]

I find "I don't like being touched, don't touch me" works somewhat

[@thomasthorne4010]

Yes. Directness works and I understand that these guys are giving ...... examples, but yes, just let it be natural with your feelings.

[@complexblackness]

I on several occasions have either used the "fence" arm up technique or verbally told people to keep their distance, and so far it has worked. Usually those approaching for money and nothing serious (for now).

[@prima6170]

I've had to do this with women. There feelings get hurt, and sometimes they cry, but you shouldn't put your arms round people, period.

[@unitynofear7758]

First I was like 'well this is pretty innocuous stuff' then I realized 'this is Sgt. Rory Miller???' and then the light switched on 😂 Will follow for more

[@jaehwan123]

This is very good. Thanks for posting this.

[@InstinctDefenseAcademy]

Glad you enjoyed it!

[@tonysicily2687]

Another great video, thank you. I was hoping to see more of your Womens self defense tutorials there were excellent, but seemed to have stopped. Shame, I have booked marked neatly every one

[@InstinctDefenseAcademy]

Thanks! Please tell me what you want us to cover and I will make one just for you :)

[@reginaldwelkin]

Any reason why it is important to "name it"? Why not just say "Get your hands off me!" or "Don't touch me!"? I feel like naming it requires too much thinking; when a universal response frees up mental space to prevent freezing up. Also, I think there is so much about assertiveness that is verbal tone/ cadence and body language. Many people smile because they are nervous or do that kind of squirming movement with their body that is similar to being non-committal. They often will do the same with their voice, making their vowels long and tonal. Also, long verbal responses allow room for shakiness and that squeakiness of the voice to kick in (a normal response to adrenaline)...which some make take for fear/hesitancy/un-committedness [not a word, but I can't think of the right word at the moment]. I think another great drill is backing up a person that is defending their space. Often, people will join in on the side of the creep, saying things like "Oh, he's just being friendly." Maybe saying something like "If you're trying to touch someone that doesn't want to be touched, you're being a creep. Stop it!" Also, what concerns me is the idea of defending self...but leaving the creep to target less assertive people. I wish that were an easy problem to solve.

[@InstinctDefenseAcademy]

I learned this method for the Portland Police. The way I understand it most people tend to freeze up and not know what to do when being confronted. Giving them a formula helps them break the freeze. Just observe what is happening and name it. I think it's a bit like training wheels. Once you get good at it you will no longer need it and can do as you mentioned in your comments above. This has been my experience with the groups I have trained. Some with bold personalities don't need t at all.

[@kyleglasco6695]

I love the use of bald and hair to help spread out the thought processes.

[@Fahim_Lalani]

Thx 🙏 much needed video

[@gensunasumus101]

Where did you read this? Thank you for the content.

[@anthonysicily5768]

Umm, Yelling “STOP” and assuming an aggressive stance when someone is 12 feet away, is not practical, unless you are alone, in the small hours on the morning, in the middle of a park. Context is everything, yet you do not deal with this, and this IMHO is more important. Triggers and situational awareness are essential considerations when boundary setting But it looks like a great class, I hope everyone learned a lot, and continued to be safe.

[@rocker112011]

Interesting how they are practicing now hardwood floor.

[@paullesieur147]

Great Video! Apologies for chiming in, I would appreciate your thoughts. Have you tried - Chireetler Dread Free Rule (Sure I saw it on Google)? It is a great exclusive guide for learning self effective defence moves minus the hard work. Ive heard some decent things about it and my cooworker at last got excellent success with it.

[@TonySicily-ph1nh]

Same message, different name, stop spamming great content creators with your scam

[@lillybizzo]

That should be thought on the school

[@InstinctDefenseAcademy]

We go to schools and teach this to kids. Mostly only private schools however. Too much politics in public schools :(

[@dealsman]

This touchy approach could be cultural. In some cultures I tolerate it. I never do it to another person since I'm very Americanized.

[@thomasthorne4010]

Best case scenario, and yes this is 2021, if it's NOT A PERSON that you do not know EXTREMELY WELL ......no touching period. We all have our personal space that should not be violated

[@user-op3ti1lj3r]

Fun!( ≧∀≦)ノ

[@kimlec3592]

what about "can you NOT !!! ?

[@unitynofear7758]

It's vague, indecisive, unspecific + subconscious doesn't actually understand negation (it has to simulate positive) + has no obvious socially appropriate reply + a question is not as powerful as a statement in this context + can be triggerring + this question is usually associated with being a victim.

[@InstinctDefenseAcademy]

Great reply.

[@stevenmonson5149]

A Christian doormat needs to show the love of Christ in how much it depends on you be at peace with everybody. A Christian nice pill that has been drummed into our heads.

[@MsMerkley]

Just "speak up" is bad advice.

[@InstinctDefenseAcademy]

Please elaborate

[@Ida-Adriana]

Mj Merkley How do you mean?

[@excalibirb9204]

Cause what's the point of speaking up if you're not speaking any sense. Most of the time i'm not quick witted and can't come up with an appropriate response on the spot.

[@glennrobinson7193]

@@InstinctDefenseAcademy I like this sane level headed advice. I am a male and I think these principles of assertiveness, especially saying "stop!" can be applied in my own life as I have had a tendency to let ppl walk over me all my life. Good work guys.

[@darkdoc5643]

But sometimes speaking up makes u a brave person, especially if your getting bullied or going through Hate