VLOG - Gender, Health, Weight, and Feeling Different.

💥All Free Classes are here - irishpaganschool.com/courses/...
💥All new Ogham Resources now at Ogham.Academy
💥Updated Morrigan resources available at loraobrien.ie/the-morrigan-re...
💥Mórrígan classes, free and paid - irishpaganschool.com/courses/...
This channel is now (2022 onwards) being used for health, life, and academic updates... Irish Pagan Content is now being uploaded to the Irish Pagan School KZbin Channel here - / theirishpaganschool and on the new Podcast here - irishpaganschoolpodcast.buzzs...
Don't forget to like, subscribe, and hit the bell for notifications on our Pagan channels so you don't miss any new Celtic Paganism content!
Want to take a FREE online class about Irish Pagan Practice? Learn More - irishpaganschool.com/courses/...
For your Irish Pagan Blog, Books, and Classes... PLUS your regular Irish Celtic Paganism Resources emails directly, join our Community Mailing List at - forms.aweber.com/form/10/6587...
The Morrigan Playlist - • The Mórrígan
Enroll (free) in our online learning environment at the Irish Pagan School for classes, courses and longer programmes - at IrishPaganSchool.com/
Pagan Basics Playlist is here - • Pagan Basics
Irish Heritage & Mythology T-Shirts, Mugs and Merch at Eel & Otter Press - eelandotter.net/
A series of informal chats about how we do this Irish spirituality thing - Irish Pagan Interviews - • Interviews
BUY LORA O'BRIEN'S LATEST BOOKS!
-- The Fairy Faith in Ireland: History, Tradition, and Modern Pagan Practice (2021) 💚 please share and review! 💚 - Buy this book today to find your own answers about the Fairy Faith in Ireland, one of the Celtic Countries, based on genuine information and experience. - amzn.to/3qzCMmO
-- A Practical Guide to Pagan Priesthood: Community Leadership and Vocation (2019) - amzn.to/2nb8UA5
-- Irish Witchcraft from an Irish Witch: True to the Heart (2nd Edition, 2020) - amzn.to/2Jle1IN
-- The Irish Queen Medb: History, Tradition, and Modern Pagan Practice (2020) - amzn.to/36c0fBC
-- Or... get authentic Irish stories in 'Tales of Old Ireland: Retold' (2019) - amzn.to/2P4yijv
Caw Caw Motherfeathers - get the merch! - / @ogham 🖤
Become a Fan on Facebook - / loraobrienink
The Irish Pagan School on FB - / theirishpaganschool
Eel & Otter Press on FB - / eelandotter
The Dagda Bard on FB - / dagdabard
Find me on Instagram - / your.irish.connection
Support this work on Patreon - / irishpaganschool
Thank you for watching... Please subscribe to this channel for more from Lora personally, OR the Irish Pagan School youtube here - / theirishpaganschool , like and share this video on social media and in your groups - it really helps to support native creators and tell KZbin you'd like to see more videos like this!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
All content is copyright ©Lora O'Brien
NOTE: This description may contain affiliate links to products we enjoy using ourselves. Should you choose to use these links, this channel may earn affiliate commissions at no additional cost to you. I appreciate your support!

[@jow604]

I empathized with this a lot. I started my weight loss journey because I needed to exercise emotion out of my body, and my original goal was: "I want to walk into a martial arts gym without feeling embarrassed." I reached that goal last year. I believe in you. You got this. I'm a big fan of your health check-ins. Glad to hear you're okay.

[@Bearwithme79]

I relate to this so hard. The work burnout, the gender issues, the weight challenges, all of it. I have cPTSD too, and identify as genderqueer with some amount of fluidity. When you said you felt like you were cosplaying a girl, that felt so honest and accurate.

[@TooMuchTimeToCare]

As a fellow gender fluid person with a predisposition to she/they pronouns, I feel all of this in my bones! I also feel like I am cosplaying as a woman from time to time. I hear you and I suppose I want you to know you are not at all alone in feeling unrepresented by the body-positivity movement. How like us who find ourselves in deep relationships with the shape shifter of all shape shifters to have to blaze our own trails! Love the goal of yeeting a man over the hedge, playing with the bairns, and surviving an apocalypse. This is 100% the content I am here for!!! I have much the same kinds of health goals. Burnout absolutely makes everything so much more difficult. My mental health is always at it's worst during the spring months and that has deviated me from my health goals as well. While I do not have the challenge of finding a home to own, we are trying to refinance our property and it is thinning my hair for sure! The stress!

[@stephg.380]

I just found your channel and I’m about halfway through this. We’re basically the same age and I’m so grateful you’re being so open and agreeing this experience because I relate so much. ❤

[@jessgeoghegan]

Here for it all.. I've been deep in some insecurities lately and feeling really grateful for this honesty.. struggling with body changes is tough but knowing you're not alone is like the best medicine. Here's to getting after goals

[@SadieKay1]

"Everybody has value in a society" - this!

[@-RONNIE]

We will always be here to support you even if you just want to vent. I'm glad you are feeling better & I want to wish you the best in your journey. Congratulations on your upcoming grandchild 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[@kaygiddens776]

I appreciate your videos like this one. We have a few things that are similar. You speaking about this, like this....it boosts me up.

[@idontbelieveyou]

Thank you Lora. One foot in front of the other can be serious progress. I remember my post-partum depression... feeling nothing... dead inside. It was terrifying... and for me shameful with two beautiful healthy babies that I should have been delighted with. Coming from a family with history of serious mental illness, I was convinced it had finally got me. But I managed somehow, and movement was an enormous part of it. Just exactly putting one foot in front of the other. It's the simplest of things sometimes, but those simple things can sometimes be impossible. I hear you.

[@BadW01fy]

I’m not sure if anyone has commented on this yet. I’m watching this video and get so many of the same feels you are going through, gender all the way to weight issues. Your noticing that your steps are lower than others is something I have seen as well - again across multiple devices. It does have a lot to do with your stride. I started improving my health as well, due to health issues too. I have a four mile path I use three days a week. I run almost three miles of it but also walk it. When I run the same distance as the walk, the run shows less steps than the walk abs even less distance. My walking stride has increased and even there is shows less than before when it is still the same distance. I stopped paying attention to it as much because I know the distance I am dealing with. Big hugs to you. Again, I feel the similarities you are going through.

[@chezgarage]

Thank you for sharing. Keep up the good work.

[@dannshannonstark3625]

Really appreciate your burn out videos! This is helpful for me! So thank you so much!

[@maiaemmett2399]

Oh the gender stuff is extremely relatable. I mean, I'm coming at it from a different place personally, being a trans fem non-binary person that calls myself a girl as a sort of "close enough" thing. The sort of discomfort and "playing cosplay" feeling was something I experienced a lot when presenting as a male, before I really figured things out. Personally that feeling ended up being caused by dysphoria. Might be different for you, might be something you think about though. Also your goals of being like Andre the Giant and being able to yeet any man over the hedge at anytime is extremely based. I wish you all the best with living that out. Not getting enough exercise is also relatable, though I've found I'm more limited by possible heart problems now that have caught up to me. Trying to get as much walking in as I can while apprenticing with art and coding for projects. Not being able to even jog anymore has personally been crushing, even though I've never enjoyed running. One thing when it was just a thing I was able to do and not enjoyed but it's another when it's a thing that I CAN'T do anymore.

[@cecilwilliams5937]

I am the opposite of you haha. I am a trans masc nonbinary person that calls themselves a guy because it's close enough. How neat to hear someone else with such a similar view of things!

[@bridge7777777]

Yes, feeling like a minority within the alternative minorities. It does feel isolating sometimes so thank you so much for sharing.

[@carmelodriscoll6155]

This was a great video. Thank you so much Lora for sharing 🤗

[@theeclecticnurse2485]

No one is perfect. That is why túath exist. You are strong and have built a strong community. Use us to help recharge some of the energy you give. Maybe less steps are because you move with more elegance and have less wrist movement?

[@colemitchell2766]

I learn something from every video you share and really appreciate your honesty. Thank you

[@glochevalier]

I relate to your cosplaying as a girl statement so much. I appreciate you sharing your journey, it's been a comfort as I continue on my own. I know it's challenging, but as long as we keep chugging along, eventually we'll get to where we're goin.

[@emmapowick]

It never occurred to me before how heteronormative the body positive movement is. I have no answers unfortunately but thanks for making me think

[@niknak7513]

Thank you for sharing and being vulnerable...you have helped me feel not alone many times over the past few months and I appreciate you so much for it. I can also relate to a lot of what you said in this video, particularly about never feeling like I fit in anywhere I go and about pursuit of health. For me wanting to be healthy has zero to do with body image and everything to do with feeling strong. Strong enough to grab my 6 year old and run if I need to for whatever reason...and apocalypse thoughts have crossed my mind as well. If you're open to receiving... sending you love from California 🖤💚

[@NimWithRandomNumbers]

I’m here too. I’m 50lbs over my comfortable weight and gender fluid/more masc. presenting as well, I can totally relate to not having role models for body positivity. I currently have boobs several sizes larger than I’d like and that makes me feel wrong, and it makes me scared if I loose weight they’ll stay/be more visible. It’s rough. I’d love to see a garden tour, the snow is still melting here I’m just starting to get my own yard in order for planting. I love seeing what other people are growing!

[@alexandriatempest]

I've been fighting against my weight for Decades! I got on a HEMA discord and wanted to start training, but I was too weak. I got some rec's for what to focus on and then a 30-day challenge popped up with some collegues of mine. So instead of the high bar, harsh goals they had I set something difficult, but reasonable. I'm the only one still doing it too, which I find funny because I thought I would be the first the stop. I made it part of my Daily Work though, so that helped. Someone's going to keep me on track! But to say I hope you're doing well and killing your goals! I'm a trans woman myself and usually tell a King, Royal, or Being of Superior Form to slay it, but it feels better to say, "Kick ass with your Sovereign Self."

[@rachelsykes1526]

You are the BOMB and I love you❣

[@denisebolin-clark8826]

Thankyou so much for sharing this. It helps me more than you know.

[@lisagibson4926]

I have a colleague who says…”body positivity “ is unrealistic for most of us, focus instead on what your body does and can do for you.That’s how you start to love it

[@tracystafford78]

Thank you so much, Lora! So much of what you've shared resonates. There was a point, a little over a year ago, when trying to pull myself out of deep CPTSD depression, that I had determined to do one productive thing (besides going to work) every day. Even that was a struggle. But, little by little, over a very long time, I clawed my way back to something resembling an actual life. You are inspiring, and a reminder that, whatever the individual perspective or circumstance, there are people out there that can relate, to some or all of whatever one of us may be experiencing. So, thank you so much for sharing so much of your journey.

[@Grounded_Gravity]

Thank you for sharing! I'm feeling some encouragement from this video to fit in a little exercise here or there, which I could use for my mental health atm. I tend to push exercise to the side when I get overwhelmed. But even if it's a little bit here and there my body and mind will probably appreciate it. I also really appreciate hearing about body positivity from an enby/fluid perspective, that makes a lot of sense.

[@multilingualfuturesankeal-5420]

I was just talking about how deeply I appreciate you and your work. Then this pops up and I appreciate it SO MUCH. I relate so hard. This is all very real and valid and it's important that we hear our commonalities as we all try so hard to do better under crushing pressures.

[@taraskye80]

I totally understand. I gained a lot during the pandemic. I am the heaviest I've ever been. I'm 5'11, so pretty tall too. I was recently diagnosed with pre-diabetes, most likely due to the weight gain over the last two years. I'm struggling with this too. I feel for you. You are a beautiful person, inside and out - never forget that.

[@theautisticaacunderground8560]

Yes thank you for this

[@DarkrAngelOfMusic]

You are a total badass. From day one when I started taking classes at the Irish Pagan School and watching all of the KZbin videos it was clear to see you are a force to be reckoned with. Why you may ask? Because you are real. You are not out there trying to put on this perfect façade. You admit if you were wrong, you acknowledge your struggles, you call out places you would like to work on (and here is the best part) THEN YOU ACTIVELY MAKE THE CHANGE TO DO BETTER! This is what makes you so relatable. This is why so many people love and connect to you and your videos. Speaking for myself, I find you so inspirational because I completely relate to the situations you are in and seeing you make that decision to do better makes me want to do better. You give me strength to put in just a little more effort to do better on a daily basis. I could rant for a while, but I felt you needed to know that what you are doing makes a difference. Well, I am sure you technically already know that, but maybe you just needed to hear it :)

[@littlet1068]

Lora.. You are beautiful and you doing what you can with out pushing your self is a good start.. I believe you will get to the weight you want but stay strong .. And I will always be here for you. Keep up the Amazing work!

[@myrnadragonchild]

I’ve been starting some at-home fitness just to get myself into the habit of doing exercise again. Before I hurt my spine almost 5 years ago, I used to be pretty fit and did a lot of heavy lifting (I’m 5’1”). I’ve been taking my vitamins again and feeling really good after a small workout and have been noticing the changes. I’m non-binary, so I definitely hear you on the body positivity movement. Good luck! :)

[@comradesionnach]

Thank you so much for this video. A few things you said really struck home with me. I'm also 6'2" but I was always told that I was too skinny, not by doctors ( probably have really dense bones as well considering that there are many times I should have broken bones but didn't and it finally took a motorcycle accident to break some) but by family, and that girls would never date me etc. if I didn't put on weight. this lead to really unhealthy eating habits because I wanted to gain weight (even though I was happy with how I looked) but I could eat as much as I wanted and not gain weight. Fast forward 25 years and add in my metabolism slowing in my mid 20's and a motorcycle accident 9 years ago, and I'm staring down my 44th birthday at 20kg over my ideal weight. It really does a number on the brain. I've always had the problem of fitting in, even with the 'outsiders' or 'different' people too, that one really hit home. At least I'm not the only one. Again. Thank you.

[@tiffanybaldwin705]

Do you accept mental hugs? If so I'm sending you one, if not no worries I'll hug myself lol I wish I could help you with some of your struggles. Just remember there are loads of people out here rooting for you and hoping you get better and feel better. Slán go fóill! Tiffany

[@emilyhall7810]

Thank you for sharing this. I definitely feel you on the gender stuff, the extra weight stuff, and the burnout. I have actually been trying to get myself to listen to Atomic Habits again because I remember it containing a lot of helpful stuff. I love your physical goals. They remind me of some of the reasons I want to become more physically fit. Thanks again for sharing all this. It's very appreciated.

[@barefootdreamer9025]

It’s your stride. My husband and I are the same. He’s 6’3” and I’m 5’1, my steps are sometimes a good 2000 more than him doing the exact same walk, it bugs him for sure!

[@Thorne_MacGregor]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings. I very much connect with what you say here and it makes me feel much more comfortable with myself. I'm also genderfluid and experience some of the same body positivity issues that you have experienced. It actually makes me feel very comfortable and accepted to hear your thoughts. Go raibh maith agat.

[@kismitj]

very familiar with burnout unfortunately, we're figuring out our garden now here. last year was...bad in that regard. both burnout and the garden. once i'm cleared for more activity i'm trying to incorporate martial arts again. something i have always done for the joy of it and to get stronger again. and stride length accounts for the lesser steps for same distance. i'm very very short and most everyone i spend time walking with is at least a foot taller and i Always end up with more steps lol

[@micheledonovan4998]

Thank you so much for sharing where you are at & your goals. I resonate with much of it. I too, use a Fitbit and try to do the steps in place when I can. Thank you for bringing awareness to the body positivity issues.

[@rebeccadunn9764]

A friend and I were yarning on why our bodies are hanging on to excess weight right now ( beyond our love of a good feed and spending too much time on our arses ). We reckon it’s because we will need the excess weight as food prices increase and famine arrives . Like a safety switch all that ancestoral cellular memory activates to avoid bad times ahead . That sounds good fun your program with your nephew . Good on you . I am staying close to the people and activities that feel good as we continue to wander through strange times . Go easy on yourself catching up on your videos . Sorry to hear you’ve had burn out. I love that expression yeeting I always crack up when I hear it

[@cellis1066]

Growing up and in my youth I did not have words that explained who or what I was. Thank you for helping me find and understand this identity I am. And power to you love.

[@j3nc4n]

Lora its your stride length, you're tall, you have a long stride so you need to go walking with people who have longer legs! Your primary health goal made me roar laughing, love your attitude. Keep on keeping on xxx

[@wizardoftas7779]

That was a year ago. How are you now?

[@RymVri108]

Carrying the extra weight is hard. I'm feeling the same. I no longer hate my body, but I am heavier than I feel comfortable. My "goal weight" is higher than any BMR chart, because I want muscle. I, too, want to yeet people over hedges. Or through them, or into the sea. Whatever, I'm flexible. I"m finding the thing I love to do no longer excites or inspires me, even though I still love it. I'm switching from ballet to pole dance because I'm finding it's healthier for me mentally, and as far as body confidence, and gives me a healthier reason to get fit. I think my plants are mad at me for moving to a higher elevation, so I might go buy some local plants today. It's hard to get moving, and hard to stay moving, and hard to stay positive. But, we're going to keep going, right? Even if we crawl between naps.

[@planningandpowerlifting]

Not advice but maybe a suggestion? Look towards strongman training for inspiration. Man yeeting isn't an event yet, but they do throw weighted things around. I am also writing this for myself to get serious with strength training again. I enjoyed the feeling of adding more than my body weight to the bar and successfully completing a squat or deadlift. Also, you are so right about 50 pounds being relative. I am pretty short so 50 pounds for me would be like 70-100 pounds for average height/tall people.

[@lauriecheeley5785]

Thank you, Lovely, for appearing to us today in this form. Both you and your work are hugely appreciated. Many blessings to you and yours.

[@snuffiegrl992]

Oh congratulations to you and your family on the New grandchild!!

[@tarotbytina443]

i see you doing heavy lifting eventually ... confident and proud of your strength and size and place in this world. I am a silent viewer. I can relate very much. tysm for sharing. I, too, want to make sure I am the fittest and most able i can be ... and most days if im being honest ... it is so i can fight and protect and help if/when that time comes. survival of the fittest if you will.

[@SadieKay1]

I loved this! Hit a lot of spots for me. Also, the fitbit is defo just an average as my trainer said (she seems to have similar attributes as your nephew)... I knew when I woke up one morning and already had 500 steps!

[@becmckinlay5073]

Pure synchronisity finding your channel. Researching inherited faeness as my Rosscommon mother called it, which my daughters, possibly my granddaughter have inherited. Done my best to teach them the lessons I've learned with the weird trickster dreams similar to the Banshee message but far clearer as in the person-ish 🙄 concerned, not a ghost. Odd gift to have but has been useful over the years. Decided instead to watch this video first, no idea why but glad I did. I was smiling with you not at, as my father born in 1930's was a closet gender fluid person, sadly in constant fear of discovery and losing his profession. Go figure I would choose this video from a miriad on youtube 😁? I realise my reaction of amazement, wtf giggling was not technically appropriate but thank you for this, been very low, missing RIP parents. Hugs for your health issues, glad you have insight and a strategy but wanted to add as a chrone over 60, please also start to factor in possible perimenopause, it can really muck around with head and body before it becomes more obvious. Yes I know you said no medico advice but I'm also an incorrigible scottish doctor's daughter, doomed from the start 🤣. All the best with the hopefully still continuing fitness quest and enjoying your grandchildren. Thanks again for obtusely cheering me up and helping me feel less alone, hope I've returned the favour. 🥰

[@kristibunny1620]

3rd health goal. Yeah this has stayed mine! I’m a prepper to though

[@maryhowd5306]

I'm so grateful for these videos - I struggle with similar issues and it really helps to know we aren't on our own! As far as the Fitbit steps, I had the same thing happen with a colleague. He is 5'10" and I am 5'2", and even though we walked the same distances, his steps were lower than mine. I think it's because the stride is calculated based on height, so a taller person would have a longer stride and thus fewer steps. We did have different products - I have Fitbit and he had an Apple watch.

[@jenniferschmitzer299]

I’ve been catching up with your videos … I’ve been going through a thing as well. I don’t know what that thing is. I asked my mother the other day.. who am I. I swear, I’m more apprehensive of my own mother than of ours. She had no answer. Apart from worrying about me I guess? I am very safe. I keep to myself. My mum is not your typical mum. Not like the mums like where I live. She is hard but a little bit soft but mostly hard. Hard in a logical pragmatic way. I always feel like I’m failing her. But I shouldn’t. I love her unconditionally. But please, please … I hope you are working through this thing? My heart goes to you.. I’m your typical female shaped feminine looking person. But you know what? I am jealous. I am jealous of the things YOU can do. I bet you can run better than me( most people can run better than me) you can get stuff from high cabinets. You can stretch your arms to infinity.. and most likely.. I’d have to do a light jog to keep up with you. Jealous af. Also, I have been very heavy for my height. I was 134kg or 294.5 lb for the imperial types. My feet and knees and hips were sore and shite and I got surgery done and now about 85kg. Pls don’t ask me what the imperial is. Work it out. But I don’t want anyone to go through that. Executive dysfunction. Oh my. My oh my. I’d really like to meet you one day Lora. If you are ok with that.

[@planningandpowerlifting]

Longer legs= less steps. My husband's legs are 5 inches longer than mine and if he takes 10k steps, I have taken 12k. When I go for walks, I just measure distance. 10k steps is about 5 miles. Well, except for me, because I am so short.

[@IsMiseAine]

(tall + longer legs = longer stride/less steps 🤷) possible???

[@Jess-ov1uw]

This has landed hard with me on many levels. So, thank you for the sharing. None of us are truly alone, though we may not see anyone representative of us in media and social movements. Personally, Ive always felt masculine in body... stocky, thick wrists and ankles, larger ring size than my male spouse etc. And definitely also feel as though I am cos-playing as a sort of girly girl when I used to try to wear dresses, heels, etc. Ive recently switched to a she/they pronoun situation but Im not sure its quite accurate. Tbh, nothing is accurate in terms of body, gender, sexuality etc... I think of myself as an In-between person. So glad I found your channel and hope nothing but the best for you and yours 🙌

[@moss5690]

Definitely not TMI for me. Thank you so much for sharing your vulnerability and worries. I'm also non-binary though female presenting mostly. I've never been a regular shape either and most sizing is weird with my shape. I've gone through very brief periods of v healthy diet and running but I'm 40 this year and my shape hasn't changed much. I say all this just to relate and share, not to compare. I totally agree BMI is bo***cks and our society is fat phobic. Although I don't relate to many NB and Queer folks I see online (can feel too femme), these ppl inspire me by totally throwing out the rulebook on gender presentation and body acceptance. Alok V Mennon is a particular inspiration. Thanks so much for speaking to this and to burnout and I'm wishing you peace on these issues and meeting whichever goals you have for yourself xx

[@TheMissmauramac]

I really enjoy your car rants. Thanks for saying things.

[@willowoforest]

Thanks for that Laura .. I'm not long over coming some what out if a break down myself but I've been having days where I slip back into that routine of .... I'm not good enough... my husband can do better .. ya the toxic stuff we all say to our selves but the I listen to people like yourself and I'm reminded of how far I'm come how good I'm doing yrs the weight is still there and I'm slowly losing it but I'm out of bed and the sun is shining and you've given me an extra lift for today x ... take care of yourself to that's most important x

[@KayDuBrall]

❤

[@IsMiseAine]

I am so over the 'body positivity' thing as apart from it being female focused (as you rightly point out) it has more lately become a bullying point in some circles as well as being co-opted by 'you have to be fat to be ok'. I'm all over BODY NEUTRALITY now- as in 'I have a body and I exist in it, there's nothing positive or negative about it but it's here, it's me and I'm in it' 💚 Can we just move away from bodies being intrinsically 'positive' or 'negative' as a society 🙄 So here for yeeting men over hedges and apocalypse ready (SAME 😁)!!! Grandchildren are great too YAY 💚 BMI is racist/sexist/abelist bullshit and all the current (non BS) research shows that carrying some extra weight is actually much more protective of health though every body is different! Love you so much, you rock and are incredible André The Giant 😁⭐💚❤️

[@anti-popfpv4638]

Your words are smart and cute. Work those curves!

[@pearcewood2]

I am a bit older than your mom but can relate so much with you about the burnout.Glad you have found the good trainer. You will see constant improvement in small steps. Most of all though I want to thank you for being so open with explaining the nonbinary and gender fluidity topic. It can be very confusing for some of us to know the proper pronoun to address our loved ones in a respectful and comfortable way. My most patient daughter is nonbinary gender fluid and has explained that its fine to ask" what's your pronoun" but I have yet to be able to do that. I have to lose my anxiety of offending. ...Keep up walking! that's the best ! thank you for all that you do. its perfect

[@linneavaughan7273]

BEAUTIFUL YOU ARE NONE IF THIS IS GONNA MATTER

[@ciaramorrison1849]

There is too much in this video for me to relate to to the point it’s a bit overwhelming! Body issues, yup. Weight problems. Mhmm. Mortgage and future plans consistently fucked up due to past relationship trauma, woah yup. Regarding the body positivity stuff, I can but agree. It doesn’t push an agenda of all bodies are great bodies, I find is pushes that some kinds of fat bodies are fine. Like, at my heaviest, I was 190kg. I had hit rock ass bottom and was miserable. Car crash injuries meant less mobility, caused a lot of mental health issues and food became a comfort. I made the decision, for me, for my health, to have weight loss surgery. I’ve dropped a huge amount of weight and can now shop in normal people shops. I am treated vastly differently now by everyone, everywhere I go! I think a lot os down to the fact I can buy femme clothes now, suddenly I’m acceptable because I am presenting more female and a thinner female is a more acceptable female… except… that all has fuck all to do with why I wanted to lose weight. So, finally a year in to my weight loss, my brain decided that is doesn’t need to regulate my fucking autonomic nervous system anymore and all of my health gains are gone overnight. I’m immobile, I’m in pain, I am weak and suffering from muscle loss. It’s not curable. Not to mention, my body? It looks like a melted fucking candle. Show me a body positivity page for that kind of acceptance. Anyway. In the end, I had to stop looking at my body from a look perspective and I had to stop comparing and wishing it to be my old body, because that’s not real. This is where I am and this is my body. I had to learn to love my body for reasons other than how it looks or performs in the moment. When my hands tremor, I let them tremor because they just worked hard today to type and make art and brush my teeth. I literally thank them for what they managed to do that day. When I look in the mirror and see alllllllll of my sagging skin and feel sad, I remind myself that it was this body that survived several car crashes, child births and so much trauma and STILL got me out of bed this morning. On the days I can’t get out of bed, I try to remember that while I was sleeping, this heart of mine and these lungs that are so wonkily controlled right now, kept going all night so that I could open my eyes and smell the lovely fur of one of my cats who is tucked up beside me. I literally had to relearn everything about everything that I thought I was and that I now am. I just try to remember that this wacky, messed up, broken body of mine does absolutely everything it can all day every day to keep me alive and I need to appreciate it because some days I feel like quitting and bowing out, but it never has yet. It keeps going. It’s very, very comforting to hear from someone, who I have learned so much from, who I probably place on a pedestal a bit, that they don’t feel like they fit anywhere either. With gender, with body, with life, with mind. I fit into nobodies narrative! Maybe we should make a band of misfits 😂

[@kristinawurdinger9056]

Hi Lora! There is a lot I could open up to you about; I won't, I still have too much stress I'm dealing with independently. I wanted to thank you, your family, friends (possibly foes, I dunno?) and all those associated with The Irish Pagan School! I try to learn from many as I am part Native American, Irish and Eastern European (but not too much; I try to be cautious)... anyway, I wanted to comment about this video. Most important, given everyones struggle with domestic violence, rape, generational traumas; I learned a few years ago in counseling (training peer advocates for recovery was their goal... and we groups, students) that there is more to traumatic responses they are learning. Fight, flight or freeze mode; I'm sure too many understand that ("oh, that wasn't rape, or prove it"); if being more aware of responses can help anyone live with what they thought they were guilty about, shamed for, or worse, please live! It is difficult to not carry stress in my gut, my son and husband do too, though I'm just "crazy"... NO, I'm eccentric, always have been, and too old to be polite and nice. Also, about your exercise steps... you may walk sooo calmly, or strongly for someone else, or angry about something (as I am a fluid being also and undetstand fluid motion) the energy you emit, obviously registers different with the earth around you than your company, don't make it a competition, or be pissed at the step measurement device app thingy. I have literally interfered with sound (in film school while nervous, botched the whole community meeting scene, it didn't record a thing, and then at a concert (romantic date with my husband, and his friends/coworkers (a couple) accepted an uncomfortable on the spot not really invitation when she said "that sounds like fun" or "I wanna go!" or something like that (we were getting ready to leave, it was a hint for them to leave too) (they still bully us, and their children my son)(I was super pissed, hour drive/walk there with them in my car too, then I sat in the back alone and wouldn't you know something went wrong with the sound check, and the event was delayed for quite some awkward time). Also, in addition to walking, maybe try dance at home. My son and I found a dried pole of river cane like bamboo during one of our visits, I used to have it out in the middle of the floor (my dancy dance or jiggety jig pole I call it and used to hop, skip, jump, flail about or thrash, I need a lot of space dancing, and in life it seems like most humans prefer that the last few years) and then tuck it under the couch. A strip of tape could work also and be fun for kids too if maybe that might help in any way. Sincerely thank you! It's very rarely I speak to anyone lately.

[@anti-popfpv4638]

I've always been to thin and tall. To thin to be truly attractive. The way to do it is worry so much you don't want to eat.

[@cecilwilliams5937]

YES! I am transmasculine nonbinary, and heavy set. It can be really disheartening as a nonbinary person, to never hear our POV in the body positivity movement. Thank you for talking about this :)

[@jackrandom4893]

Try intermittent fasting. I just started it and I'm on a reddit thread about it. It's pretty inspiring. If you're 6 foot 2, start some weight lifting and you'll be amazing.

[@snuffiegrl992]

I wonder if your walking partners are all shorter than you? I would think shorter legs =more steps for the same distance

[@jenniferschmitzer299]

Very true. My separated husband is 6’3” and I’m only 5’8-9” whatever … I have to keep up and for my height, I have long legs.

[@modernwitch2849]

As someone who is nonbinary and feel like I need to present as feminine is so difficult. Cause it doesn’t feel like me. This is your channel you should feel free to express yourself here. Judging from the comments you have a lot of people who relate to you.

[@linneavaughan7273]

I hate heels haha I know exactly what you mean

[@snuffiegrl992]

My mamma says she isn't overweight, she's just under-tall 😆

[@marksiezure3285]

Prayers for you in your struggles. Life can be tough. ....As you are a priest of the Morrigan, I hope this god/ goddess has been actively helping you to get thru this time (I didn't hear you mention anything about it). Just curious how this works.

[@Ogham]

I've spoken many times in many ways about my relationship with the Mórrígan. Not really cool to place an expectation of that here tbh. I do get to have private elements to my spirituality too, right?

[@evelynizaks]

This brought tears in my eyes. I struggle with body positivity and gender. The more I try to 'fit in' the harder I feel I'm struggling. Thank you for this very open, vunerable vlog. It helped me, knowing I am not alone.