Vlog: Let's Catch Up // New Maternity Clothes & Parenting Pressure

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[@lpgilber]

Don't apologize. You are very busy and have a full life as a working pregnant mother. It's a treat when I see a vlog from you and I take it as such.

[@jillianowen1668]

Thank you for your honesty Mary. I shared a similar experience with you with my daughter. She is now 3 and a half years old and I also have a 7 month old baby. She was also showing signs of autism - lining up objects, not pointing, sometimes not responding to her name, not talking, obsessed with numbers and letters etc. I was concerned, but chose not go to professionals for advice. I gave her time. All children develop differently, plus alot of people love to pressurise and 'diagnose' our children too early. Give your darling son Gabe time, he will get there. Now, my daughter is at nursery thriving and talking so much! They were worried about her social skills and not interacting with other children/adults also, but I said to the SENCO to give her time, and now she is also doing well. You know your child Mary, don't let anybody project their insecurities or concerns onto you. You are a fantastic mum. Drop me a message if ever you need to talk. Much love ❤️

[@keilah4039]

I'm not a mum but I was able to receive your experience which you conveyed with such grace and sensitivity. One can only imagine the rollercoaster of emotions it's been . . . I'm not sure if you've delivered yet. Wishing you nothing but a smooth and peaceful birthing process. Compliments of the season to you and your lovely family, Mary.

[@philippawood5047]

Sending you a big hug, Mary, thank you for opening up with us. You are clearly such a devoted mum and you're doing a wonderful job. I don't have kids but I was certainly similar to Gabe when I was little - very, very quiet and I didn't communicate the same way other kids did. Turns out I was just a really quiet kid, naturally more of an introvert and that's just who I am. I am sure it drove my mum insane with worry for all the reasons you mentioned, but whatever happens, you have an incredible son and he's incredibly lucky to have you as his mother. ❤❤

[@AgnesA98]

This is interesting, I’m not a parent myself but I was taking with my mum the other day and she shared with me that I had a speech delay and I wasn’t really talking (it was “baby talk”) until I was 3. I had to have speech and language therapy. I was a prem baby but I met all the other milestones but talking. And now at 24, I could talk for England if I wanted to. My mum has to ask me to slow down at times 😂. I hope this was somewhat encouraging 🤍

[@tulafoster3962]

You are so lovely. The way you explain things is so relatable. Don’t feel you have to justify comments. Your community gets you. It is clear how much you adore Gabe. He sounds like a wonderful child. X

[@xpinkyperkyx]

Loved what you said about children being children without adult expectations!! I work in a nursery and definitely belive in this way of thinking!! Also in my 2s room, out of 5 children, 2 of them aren't speaking yet and 3 of them don't sit down for more than 2 minutes at most for any group activity so they are free to play as they choose whilst I read or we sing! And last year we managed to get funding for one of our 4 year olds with autism, it's very difficult to do as lots of professionals involved but his family were incredible and we really fought for him to get the support he would need going in to primary and we heard this term that he has funding, had a support worker who also work with the family when needed and he's hitting most development goals. Most importantly he is thriving and happy and that's all that counts for every single child. Sorry to babble but recognising the individuality of each child is something I'm extremely passionate about and is sometimes forgotten about in settings and schools. Really enjoyed this vlog Mary and the tracksuit looks so comfortable!! Sending lots of love xxx

[@katielouisahobday]

Not a mumma but love your content and perspective on ‘real life’ wishing you and your family every happiness x

[@ClareElizabeth97]

I work in mainstream primary schools with children with special educational needs, mainly autism, and mainly in early years (reception class, 4-5 year olds). I work 1:1 with a child to help them access the curriculum in a way tailored to them if they find it difficult to participate in the mainstream teaching methods. I adore my job and I adore the children I work with. They are so special and wonderful, and they can do so much, but they just need to come at the world slightly differently. I've always felt so passionately about this, but even moreso now as I'm currently on maternity leave with my first child, my wonderful 6 month old Juniper. I hate that these ridgid expectations are set upon such tiny humans. Everyone is so different and there's too much pressure for them to develop in the same way at the same time. I'm getting pressure about my 6 month old baby being clingy compared to other 6 month old babies. She's 6 months old. Omg. She's a teeny tiny baby and she wants her mum most of the time. Why is that something for people to get up in arms about 🙄

[@hatiice]

My nephew only stared talking when he was about 4 and it was a few words only at the beginning. My sister and brother in law took him everywhere. People commenting made it worse. Every doctor said something different. They even took him abroad to a specialist doctor and that didnt help. At one point one of the doctors said his probably death. He used to just hummm and mumble words that we never understood. It was like people thought they had the right to point it out every single time they saw my sister and thats when she always thought she wasn't doing enough as a mum. Now his 6 and omg he has so much questions to ask and talks soo much. So just hang in there, every child has their own time☺️

[@sophiebutterill9295]

I'm not a mum and unsure if I even want to be one but i love hearing your honesty, my mum always say i didn't speak for ages and right when she and my dad thought about taking me to be seen i started talking and didn't stop lol 🤣🤣! As you say there's so much pressure these days to diagnose kids and sometimes it's not helpful so as my friends start having kids etc. i'm really going to follow your advice of not pointing out things and just being there for them if they need me! So thank you for being so open as always, love watching your vlogs! 🥰

[@meeganerose98]

Love you, love your videos, always here 💛 Care for you and your beautiful family first, we are here x

[@charmainelewis25]

U do u and u do what u can when u can! No matter the gaps in between your true OG’s will always watch ur vlogs when u upload. Good for u that ur still working and being on ur feet all day you go girl! U look amazing and always the fashionista (maternity wear) and isn’t Gabe just a doll he’s sooo cute x❤x

[@jodiebarton6470]

My son is 2 and 1 month and he is delayed in his talking. The health visitor said it was really common in covid babies and they aren't talking till around 3. He is saying more but is still behind the "norm". I also have a nine year old who is autistic and you always find yourself worrying and over explaining to people. I'm sure you've got loads of people to talk to but a friendly and understanding ear is always here if you need it x

[@lavoixdevelours]

It can cause some anxiety for parents with development. People ask questions and say things without thinking. Sometimes it's just speech therapy needed. My SIL was a speech pathologist, and it's incredibly common at ages 2-3 and 4 + for them to need a little help.

[@Elle44446]

Oh Mary I could cry, I’m going through exactly this now. My sons nursery (he is 18 months) told me they were concerned about his lack of talking. I’ve felt sick ever since and you summed it up when you said even spending time with them is triggering as all you focus on is the absence of what “should” be there. Then of course I feel guilty for not enjoying every second with him. I try to talk to other mums but I’ll I get is “oh my child was an early talker”. So I’ve given up and disconnected from all conversations and most social media on the topic of parenting. Thank you for opening up about this, it means to much to hear your experience x

[@MishMashMum]

I think your eyes are open Mary and trust you have all angles covered. I have 3 Autistic kids one of which has ADHD too. He is 20 now, in uni studying linguistics after delayed speech! The irony!😄 Listening to this vlog transported me back in time. I wish I could have listened to your vlog 18 years ago because your words are positive outlook on a child’s development. It was painful & lonely for me back then and all I could see was what he wasn’t achieving. You are so articulate and concise with what you have said today and I will share this vlog with people that I see fit that are in the same situation as you. Keep smashing mum life! So admirable you are…ya doing great!💖💖💖

[@MaryForester]

This is such a lovely thing to say and Thankyou so much! It’s so nice to be able to share experiences and so appreciate you saying this X

[@MISSLEONAJB]

Hey sweetie 🤗 thank you as always for your openness and honesty about what’s been happening. I’m sure what you have shared will help other parents / parents to be and I will definitely take on your feedback regarding not commenting on something I might notice or observe. I hope baby arrives soon and that everything goes well. You’re doing amazing, take care 🥰 xxx

[@scnordlund]

Development and energy and personality is so varied, we cant expect all children to be exactly the same. I agree we should be more relaxed and let children be, let them be what they are, give them room to develop without rushing. And assist if needed in time. Hope you can find some peace and reassurance, you are doing a great job!

[@joannabraeunig]

I hear you. Our daughter just started preschool and is also not sitting in a circle like everyone else. So what. She is barely two and is already been judged for her unusual behavior. It makes me angry that we put so much pressure on these little ones. I get that it’s good to give them guidance and structure in their daily life but I feel like at least in the beginning of your life you should have a little bit more room for error. Still 4 more years until school starts and then you really have to fit in these molds.

[@xpinkyperkyx]

Absolutely right!! 2 year olds shouldn't need to sit for long periods of time!! Let her be two and explore and play ❤️

[@sarahbessant-macgregor1457]

Thank you for being so honest, I've always struggled with the focus on developmental stages and it's lovely to hear someone being honest and open. X

[@MaryForester]

Thankyou! So glad it was helpful X

[@angieguest8903]

Lovely to see you mary ..best wishes as always Xx

[@nansjenansje8907]

Really nice to hear from you👍🏻😃

[@TheParkinsonFamily]

Thanks for talking about parent and baby development pressures. My son is nearly 9 months and not crawling and I feel so much anxiety and insecurity when I go to baby classes and other babies the same age are crawling and so much more physically mobile. It’s easy to say all children are different but it’s hard to not feel that pressure and comparisons. I have felt like a bit of a failure of a Mum at times 😢

[@deborahbraam2980]

Big hugs. I get it. ❤

[@Celine760]

Mary you are a wonderful mummy, Gabe will be just fine (I know you know this!) and like you say - No matter what 'markers' he's showing or what timeline he's on, that's just Gabe :) x

[@micheledegroote5471]

💕

[@amixeblu]

I think (just a huge guess) you might be having a baby girl. If you hadn't said, that's my guess. Let's see if I guessed right. ;) :p Nice to hear from you again, Mary. I would not panic over little Gabe... just yet. Yes you notice things, yes it may be signs of something bigger, but it might also be just a normal transition period. Just do what you can, and just wait and see, give yourself time to do that also. It is hugely important.

[@AmmaMama]

Just started watching but wanted say you and your belly are so cute Aww ♥️🥰

[@qwertyqwert2772]

good to see you mary! can i ask if gabe is how he is just being himself whether thats if he feels like engaging or not - would you rather people(adults/family) leave him alone as to say dont engage with him at all if he isnt obviously interested or would you rather that person continue to try to engage with gabe in his world and play along side him whether or not there is verbal or eye contact engagement/ acknowledgement? just curious.

[@MaryForester]

I’m happy for anyone to engage with him as they want to and absolutely play alongside and chat to him it’s more just people taking it personally if he doesn’t seem that interested in them, so making comments like oh he doesn’t like me etc when really depending on what’s happening he’ll sometimes show interest and sometimes not but absolutely happy for anyone to play and chat with him it’s just understanding the engagement back will vary and it’s nothing to do with the adult themselves if that makes sense? Hope that was helpful! X

[@JannetjeW]

Big Hug for you