Vocal Coach Reacts to ** TAYLOR SWIFT ** Songs about ** JOHN MAYER ** | Taylor Swift Reaction

Check out this Vocal Coach Reacts to Taylor Swift! Watch and learn to sing like her, as this singing teacher breaks down her vocal styles and techniques.
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VOCAL COACH REACTS TAYLOR SWIFT PLAYLIST
• Vocal Coach is SHOCKED...
MY HUSBAND'S CHANNEL ‪@7DeadlyBananas‬

[@SongsFromASuitcase]

📌PATREON: Watch FULL TAYLOR ALBUM REACTIONS & DOCUMENTARIES! w/ screen! Get EARLY ACCESS to videos! 👉bit.ly/TSDEARJOHNWCS

[@fabialvarez13]

I think the song you mean is Blank Space “got a Long list of ex lovers” it is 1989

[@abbyhudson4026]

I kept thinking that there are possible john-related songs that would be so good to break down as well and finally when you talked about the "stained glass windows" part, I had to comment. I absolutely think her song "Death by a Thousand Cuts" is about John because of parallels with "Would've Could've Should've" in the way it talks about being haunted, looking for signs, etc. At the end of the day, it came so much later and refering to wine in the lyrics make me think it couldn't be something from when she was 19, but it does echo certain sentiments and I often listen to both songs together. Also "Wonderland" from 1989 makes me think of "Dear John" because it's about "going mad", how "things were never worse but never better" (pain/heaven), people warning them and so much more. it also amuses me to think it's John related because he wrote "your body is a wonderland"

[@vervideosgiros1156]

I'm so sorry for what you've been through with your family and former boyfriend. You seem to be so joyful and nice! 😊

[@emmavink]

I really enjoyed the inclusion of more personal insights, thank you 😊 I think it's important to note that the very act of writing Would've Could've Should've is her attempt to find some kind of catharsis. For me, the song is about realising the PTSD she has had by having been groomed by an adult when she was still a teenager. In many other songs about other relationships, she often talks about residual trauma from what happened with Mayer. She reflects on how she gets preemptively defensive when she thinks boyfriends are displaying any of the same "push and pull" behaviour and how the trauma around broken trust has caused issues in her relationships after she was with Mayer. She missed being a person who could trust freely.

[@cjredwine_author]

I also love the fact that Taylor released Would've Could've Should've as track 19 when she was 32-years-old. No detail escapes her when she decides she's going to make a point.

[@danniemay1]

She wrote the song when she was 32

[@tatumt0t17]

no you're right idk why I was thinking about Speak now tv

[@jackielehman8945]

Ya dude. This song hits hard. For anyone that has gone through this when you start to get to the age of the person that preyed on you, it just starts to click in...

[@Peachmain1]

To put it into perspective when she would’ve just been born he was almost 14

[@faithf4935]

omgg this adds to the situation being so much more sad and unbearably painful@@Peachmain1

[@IWanttoBelieve-uj4tq]

“I don’t usually get personal on my page, but…” This is the Taylor Swift effect!

[@maybememory1]

Heartbreaking fact: John Mayer’s condo at the time they dated was an old church, with stained glass windows. “Stained glass windows in my mind, I regret you all the time”.

[@petajohnson5845]

That is heartbreaking :(

[@JordansTake35]

This is actually not true. John lived in his tribeca/nolita condo at that time, he never owned the condo in question with the stained glass windows, that was a rumor. Just Google John Mayer tribeca apartment to see. I think it's way more obviously a reference to his Shot in the Dark music video that he recently released during the time she would have been writing this record. Just Search shot in the dark John Mayer on KZbin and within the first 1:20 you'll see the real reference.

[@elizabethunger9190]

@@JordansTake35They collabed on Half of My Heart which has stain glass windows in the video.

[@missylynn9180]

You've gotta watch the live version of Dear John- Her facial expressions are top notch

[@sophieminocha]

yessss!!

[@wehaveadarkside]

yes i came here to say this

[@melindatintle9728]

Oh yessssss. At some point watch the speak now tour version. The sadness, anger and sass is on POINT. ❤

[@isabellebispo8440]

Yess!!

[@alyrica0505]

And the fireworks at the end!

[@marenhenrikkeabrahamsenjoh9899]

as a child I was sexually abused and that "give me back my girlhood" line makes me cry every time. And you saying that letting go is what is needed got me. I try to do that everyday but it's so fucking hard because I don't know what person I would've been if that didn't happen to me, and I like to daydream about an innocent child just having childproblems. it's stupid but healing at the same time

[@kelleycheek5142]

Her growth between these two songs is incredible. Dear John is her revenge song to hurt him. WCS is her song for herself to process what happened

[@shelleygoodwin6371]

Despite Dear John being a total character assassination 😂 and rightfully so, it's also not harsh or anything it's literally just plain honest about her emotions and about how he behaved, and surprisingly insightful. WCS to me is of course an older, wiser version of processing what happened to her and really is more to herself than to him now.. but I'm still flawed by how well she just had it so right in Dear John already. I would not have been able to fully realize or understand just how wrong and manipulative someone's behaviour was to me at that age (much less be able to write such a flawless song about it). Anyway Taylor is a force!

[@nataliatc1]

I don't see Desr John as a revenge song.

[@josyakagwen]

The 'I regret you all the time' line really hit me, when I heard it first. It just came to me in the very dark time of falling out of an unrequited deep crush . I just felt so stupid when I slowly figured out all the little things in which they are kinda cruel. It wasn't even unhealthy or toxic, I just needed to find something to not gloryfy them anymore and to concentrate on myself first. And this was like the ultimate emotion at this point, because I was only starting to being only myself again and then I noticed how much I would've changed possibly to make it work and I really honestly knew better...

[@mappledimple]

same!

[@carolinegraceh]

Me too girl

[@imawakemymindisalive13]

same. except the unrequited crush was me still being desperately in love with my ex boyfriend who i had been crushing on for a year before we got together. from the day we met, it took me over 2 years to be over. i’m not sure i’m even over it.

[@LilyHandmaiden]

Taylor is so good with the accelerating, "looping" lyrics in her song to bring us into the way the anxious mind gets stuck in these repeating thought spirals. She does it in a lot of songs, but most notably "Out of the Woods," which always just *sounds* like anxiety to me ("are we out of the woods yet are we out of the woods yet are we out of the woods yet are we out of the woods?"). I think that "I'm scared of ghosts" means she's still haunted by the memories of what happened, and that "memories feel like weapons" means both that those memories are painful and that she then takes them and uses them to hit back, putting them into songs, "living for the thrill of hitting you where it hurts." But these lines could also reference the fear of repeating patterns-- and if we look at the songs that seem to be about Jake Gyllenhaal, who was *also* significantly older, a lot of the same themes come up again. I'm glad that, recently, before she played "Dear John" on tour, Taylor took a moment to say that all of this was a long time ago and that she's grown and she's not still mad about anything that happened when she was 19-- so it seems like she's at the stage of having let go and moved on now, and maybe "Would've Could've Should've" helped her do it.

[@mathildelavoie2057]

I have a theory that it’s the re-recordings process that reminded her of these experiences and got her back in that hurt mindset, which would be why a lot of midnights songs are about past stuff. I think that it’s better now but I guess we’ll never really know 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@LilyHandmaiden]

@@mathildelavoie2057 I agree, it seems natural that the rerecording process would bring up a lot of stuff, and I doubt Midnights would have happened in the way it did if she hadn't been rerecording at the same time. Even knowing she was recording Evermore at the same time as she was rerecording Fearless adds another layer to her singing, "Past me, I want to tell you not to get lost in these petty things," in "long story short"

[@frozen0728]

@@mathildelavoie2057and the fact that shes not only the age that kanye was when he hurt her, but also age john mayer was when they started dating

[@getoutofmyhouse123]

AND THE ARCHER!

[@wumbos]

YES! The anxiety looping is some of my favorite ways she writes. It feels like my brain and - not that the feeling is pleasant - but it's nice to know I'm not the only one constantly anxiety looping and spiraling like that.

[@cadegranger4602]

Taylor said in an interview once that “you don’t have to forgive and forget to move on” and I think you expressed that as well. I think it really fits. As far as the regret goes, I saw a creator on TikTok (I think it was Mayte?) say that it’s okay to regret certain things. She said “every lesson I learned from that relationship I could have learned a different way. That man was toxic.” That felt really powerful.

[@nataliatc1]

I agree, I don't relate to the song or the feeling about It, but I get It, you don't have to be thankful for the awful things that have happened to you, or for bad relationships because "they taught you" lessons. They didn't taught you shit, you overcame that, by yourself, you learned about yourself, YOU, never because of the thing that happened, but IN SPITE OF IT. With your strenght, with your tools. So I agree with you about the regret, I don't think It neccesarily means being stuck, it's just some thing you wish. and you can feel the pain in Taylor lyrics and voice, I've only heard it like less than ten times total cause I have cried everytime, I feel that it's too personal (more than any other song of hers), so I feel like an intruder when I have heard it.

[@celinahaas5868]

The fact that Taylor told her fans not to give him hate when Speak Now (TV) came out just shows how classy and mature she is, especially after how badly he treated her.

[@idrisatardis5553]

I know I’m kind of late but I also think that’s what people should do anyway. Focus on her genius and not give these douchebag men any more attention than they already have. These songs are all from her, the men have no part in it other than being shitty to her. We should celebrate her making something beautiful out of trauma that people can relate to and get catharsis from ❤️

[@Suprachiasmatic]

@@idrisatardis5553I agree! And also, fans shouldn’t worry so much about who she is writing about. The whole point of music is that we take what we want from it, and it should be different for everybody!

[@janetliu1026]

In Miss Americana, Taylor talks about this desire of always being a "good girl". And I think even though she's grown and for the majority, has moved on from this relationship, the memory and thought of something that robbed her of her innocence and caused her to commit a "sin" probably still haunts her. This album is called Midnights, and includes songs about what she thinks of at midnight. So, I think it's such a personal and emotional song. I'm sure she thinks sometimes at night, if she never gave in to the devil or to this relationship, what would've or could've happened.

[@rafaelazab4770]

Yesss!! I think the same way!

[@chand911]

No one held a gun to her head to make her date older men... It's insane none of her fans recognize responsibility is a two-way street.

[@kacperowy5594]

manipulation is a thing@@chand911

[@hollyeide]

​@chand911 you don't believe a 19 year old is more susceptible to being influenced into thinking it's okay? Sorry, a 32 year old even approaching a 19 year old in that way is creepy.

[@camilaalgaranaz2801]

​@@chand911 it's not about that. when you are a girl, hitting it off with an older man makes you feel cool. there's a lot of manipulation behind all of that. Being told you are mature for your age, that you are different from other girls. that you are special, that you are smarter, prettier, etc.from other girls. even other women. the older person has a position of power because of this. that's why it's wrong. you wouldnt get it 1. if you never been through this and 2. if you are not a girl/woman. if you dont get it, you should do a research about the emotional manipulation behind this. If you dont, just shut up since your "opinion" could/can and IS harmful to people who were victims of older men.

[@haleywagner1962]

I'm not gonna lie, this might be my favorite reaction from you. Don't get me wrong, I love your reactions as a vocal coach, but I love when people get into the lyrics and relate it back to themselves and empathize with the artist, and show little pieces of their soul. I hope to see more of this type of reaction. You're such a beautiful person, and so thoughtful with what you have to say. ❤❤❤

[@mixxii_rx]

i say this so much!! most or some reactors only pay attention to the melody, instrumentals and/or the vocals of the song instead of paying attention to the lyrics. lyrics are so important when listening to a song, i read them every time i listen to a new song.

[@oriyanbarnes]

Taylor really has a lot of songs that make me sad and even cry But WCS? That is the song that broke me, it makes me absolutely sob. It gave me the ability to cry on command It's the kind of song that I can't always listen to because it can be quite overwhelming The way she brings up trauma and describes it so perfectly.... It hits hard and the bridge- Her screaming "give me back my girlhood it was mine first" and it sounds like a child stomping her feet throwing a 'tantrum' because "it's mine first!" And she nails it. The emotions. The vocals. The vocals to match that emotion she wants to deliver. Oof just oof. This is her saddest song imo (and then she released You're Losing Me 😂)

[@emarie5875]

the taylor song that instantly makes me sob is never grow up

[@oriyanbarnes]

@@emarie5875 oh wow yes nothing could have prepared me for Taylor's Version of Never Grow Up, hearing it again after all these years but from a grown up Taylor after you've also grown up? Oof

[@mixxii_rx]

@@emarie5875this and ronan, i can’t physically listen to both of them without crying

[@oriyanbarnes]

Notice how in Would've Could've Should've Taylor goes over all the Would've and the Could've.... But she doesn't mention "should've" Because that one she already expressed in Dear John "I should've known"

[@genimartinez6173]

Should’ve said no

[@Stardust.Creations]

Would LOOOVE to see more content like this from you Audrey! I'm a single 24-year-old gal who has not yet been in a relationship and it's so valuable to hear advice and perspectives from someone who has gone through it and has learned the hard lessons ♥ Wisdom deserves to be shared!

[@cruzinbosco]

I love to hear women are waiting longer. Our brains are not fully formed until the mid-20s, and the decisions we make before then can be disastrous and sometimes deadly if we are not careful. It's crazy, I can still remember the day when I felt different. I was about to turn 24 and I woke up one day and suddenly understood and seen everything differently. I was dating a guy who was 24 when he started dating 17-year-old me and I was like "WTF is wrong with this man? That's not normal and that's not okay." From then on, life was so different because I could see through so much crap.

[@Stardust.Creations]

@@cruzinbosco You know, I wish I could say it's by choice 😅 But the truth is it's extremely hard to find a man of character nowadays. But I totally agree with you that there is certainly benefit to waiting to enter into a romantic relationship. I personally think girls are dating far too young these days. Wow, that's pretty wild. That's the difference perspective makes. Yeah you have to be careful and trust your gut, there are so many groomers and perverts out there.

[@luciuscabralzenardo2897]

@@Stardust.Creations that's so good too. You got high standards (which actually means expect bare minimum but it's too much apparently hahah) and that's good bc you're not settling for less than you deserve nor accepting anything just to avoid being lonely. Take care!! You're cool!!

[@micaelabarberen7084]

For me the lines "I'm scared of ghosts", "memories feel like weapons" and "stained glass windows in my mind" scream traumatized. The age gap is a part of the situation, but I think she also struggled a lot with the back and forth, the love and then the denying of that love. If you pay attention to the rest of her songs, the ones she wrote when they were together, you can see how deeply she believed in that relationship and in him, and then he left her and acted as if nothing happened (at least that's what I get from the songs). I think that must have been a big shock for her. You can see this in songs that aren't about him, from the archer to anti-hero and a million other songs, she's always talking about how hard it is for her to trust people and to trust that the relationships (not only romantic ones) will work.

[@littlelove13]

Omg don’t even, in Superman she talks of the guy going away ‘to work’ and something inside it doesn’t sit right. Cause superman is about John, I can only see it as John manipulating her he gets her hopes up, then goes away and leaves her but uses work as some excuse

[@A11S08H]

Someone said that when they dated he lived in a refurbished church with stained glass windows, so that’s how I interpreted it. But I have no idea about that man lol so that could be totally incorrect

[@calliea3336]

Regarding the shock, one aspect of problematic age gaps I don’t see discussed often is how different one’s perception of time is the younger you are. To someone in their thirties, a couple months is short-something you might consider just a few dates and not even a relationship at all-but time moves differently when you’re nineteen. Do you remember being a kid, waking up on Christmas morning before your parents and how excruciating it was waiting for when you were allowed to wake them? Thirty minutes might as well have been three days, and three hours was years that I was ready to burst while my parents, bafflingly, snored away like reindeer hadn’t just been on the roof. I used to count “one Mississippi, two Mississippi,” waiting for the school bell, because those last minutes of class felt so slow that I had to convince myself time hadn’t really slowed down just to torment me! Anyone old enough to have forgotten that feeling shouldn’t date someone still living it. Obviously Taylor didn’t believe in Santa Clause anymore, but time still went far more slowly for her than him, and she had the innocence to believe in the magic of a fairy tale romance. Two fleeting months to him became ghosts that were still haunting her thirteen years later.

[@ZATennisFan]

This lady has been a genius level songwriter since the beginning of her career. She is a once in a generation level talent. I’m 53 and it’s one been one of the great joys of my life to see this talent flower…

[@kaikalino7349]

When I heard the lyric 'Give me back my girlhood, it was mine first" I broke down. My younger self is crying. My older self is giving my younger self a hug and Taylor's music is a balm that placed into words.

[@tonyleman9633]

So WCS is from Midnights, and it totally fits and makes sense with the theme of "things that keep you up at night". That said, I do think that her releasing this song when she did was a very calculated move on her part. After Red TV came out, John Mayer saw the widespread backlash Jake Gyllenhaal got from ATW10 and as I understand it, he sort of hinted he was gonna try and somehow...sabotage the release of Speak Now TV or at the very least Dear John TV, a song he already deeply hated to begin with, so that wouldn't happen to him too when it was "his turn". I think Taylor was basically like "oh okay, well in that case here, have another one. A way worse one that's gonna make Dear John look tame by comparison". And keep in mind, WCS is one of the 3AM tracks, no one had any clue those were even coming until three hours after the main Midnights album had already dropped, only the main 13 and Hits Different had been announced in any way prior to that. So I definitely think it was a way to preempt him from trying to oppose Dear John TV when the time came. Wouldn't really matter anymore at that point when WCS is sooooo much worse. 😈😈😈 And making it track 19 on an album she released when SHE was 32, the age he was back then...I mean come on. God I love her mind.

[@mystery1317]

So apparently this song came about after the 2021 Grammys (where Taylor won album of the year for Folklore) because John Mayer was performing there. People noted at the time that he looked kinda out of it, speculating that he was drunk or high. I can only imagine Taylor sitting there in the audience, almost the same age he was when they were together, having this trigger and onslaught of bad memories. I hope that she’s healed, but I can see how that could lead to this sort of intense surge of anger/regret bc you were ok but suddenly remember and go “y’know, that was actually so fucked up, I hate that it still bothers me”. Bc she probably never got the chance to express true anger at the situation back then bc she was stuck in the ‘America’s Sweetheart’ image. Hope she got it out of her system now tho and can truly put it to rest. On a lighter note tho, I wonder if that was the night Aaron Dessner found out about that whole thing or if Taylor just got home and was like “fire up a funky guitar riff, I got some shit to say!” with no additional context 😂

[@Exothermicapril]

The guitar is purposely meant to sound like his song. She made Never Gettin Back Together super pop because that guy hated pop music. 😂

[@larissarodrigues1860]

Never getting back together abolt jake gyllenhaal not john

[@mercsrue]

@@larissarodrigues1860 they never said it wasnt

[@Exothermicapril]

I should have put in names. I meant a different guy. I thought Harry Styles was that song because of the British accent at the awards show. I’m newer to her music. I’m mostly Broadway but discovering her has been amazingly fun. Her emotions are so raw and real and that’s exactly why I love Broadway.

[@ifeelsohighschoolx]

​@@ExothermicaprilJust letting you know, Taylor wasn't with Harry at that point so the album Red has no sounds about him. It's the next album, 1989, that has Style, Out of the woods, I know places, and Wonderland (possibly more I'm not sure), that is about Harry

[@paisleigh1989]

@@ifeelsohighschoolx Red does actually have songs about him! Theres hidden messages in the original foreword that imply i think treacherous is about Harry

[@pinkpanda3788]

The best part is that she keeps saying "should've" in Dear John but in Would've Could've Should've she says both would've and could've but never should've.

[@odlotowybalkon4967]

"memories feel like weapons" for me means that something that should be nostalgic and warm when you think about it makes you hurt instead. We all have this moment when you're just going about you day and suddenly something triggers a memory of some bad thing from your past and you almost feel attacked by this memory because you would rather forget it, but you can't.

[@reaganwaite9101]

Yes. Absolutely yes. Please be real like this more often. I come from a very abusive past and have PTSD, depression, and anxiety because of it. Talking about these issues, talking about painful and uncomfortable subjects, being open and honest, all of it, helps us to heal, to learn from each other, WITH each other. Taylor uses her music to heal. I have always loved how transparent she is, how unafraid she is to be herself

[@julinh4333]

The line "girlhood" "19" and "regret all the time" hit hard

[@mkbucklin]

What people don’t really know about Midnights is that the songs are written based on thoughts she’s had at Midnight over the years. Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve was based on thoughts she had when she and John broke up. She regretted him because of all the hurt she’d gone through with him. Now that she’s grown and moved on, she can look back and see all the problems and she can see how bad it was. She’s showing the emotion that Speak Now Taylor had while speaking from a current Taylor perspective.

[@fionariley8004]

ive always interpreted the line "memories feel like weapons" as a ptsd thing. one of the main symptoms is flashing back to the traumatic event and having it replay in your mind in a way that makes you feel like you have no control and are experiencing the same feelings over and over again. it makes you feel that your own memories aren't safe because they are the things hurting you and bringing you back to the most painful moments.

[@carolla_michelle]

I feel like she writes about how this past relationship has impacted her in the present day in The Great War “and maybe it’s the past that’s talking, screaming from the crypt, telling me to punish you for things you never did”. She references tearing banners down in this song too, it feels like echos of past trauma.

[@thedeeplestofyoursoul]

OMG the motherhood energy of this VDO is off the roof 😂. I love your reaction sm.

[@carlaazevedo.teacher]

It seems that "Superman" is also about him

[@sarahhandberg5185]

Yes and also the story of us and ours

[@holleyshighlights3135]

So, Taylor had 2 bad relationships back to back and “give me back my girlhood it was mine first” I think refers to that idea naive romantic love- if you look at Red as an album, that is when the Cynicism comes in and the more realistic songs above love come in. It’s more grey and less black and white/optimistic. And “memories feel like weapons” - to me this means that both the good and the bad things in their relationship can be used to hurt each other.

[@bues4]

yeah totally agree! til red album she always mentions love as a magical, 'enchanting' thing, but then on red she says 'love is a ruthless game unless you play it good and right' :(

[@colt.dy12]

​@@bues4 i just realized that with your comment:( that's so sad!! her reputation era definitely revived her faith in love but still held that anxiousness and insecurity e.g Delicate, Lover album.

[@kathyditlevson5085]

The live version of this song is 🔥🔥🔥

[@luisasena6542]

i was never in an abusive relationship or anything like that, but when i was 13 i was harassed by my friend's older counsin who was like 20 something and had just had a baby. even now, five years later, i remember feeling terrified cause we were all sleeping in the same room during the trip, so when this song came out and i realized i could relate to the lyrics way more than i expected to, i broke down crying. the line "give me back my girlhood, it was mine first" always gives me the chills cause i remember how i had never been so scared before, at least not for a reason like this, and until then i hadn't realized that it was an actual possible thing to be scared of

[@sophieminocha]

WCS is just so incredibly written and it makes me cry every time. I think what's even crazier about it is she wrote it at 32, the age John was when they dated. I can imagine her writing it realizing quite how fucked up it all was knowing that she would never even think about being with a 19 year old at this point in her life. I think that she also has a lot of trauma from this relationship, especially because she grew up really Christian and I think she sort of lost her way/part of her faith from the relationship; I also think she was always worried about returning to a relationship similar to this just looking for comfort, especially when you look at one of her next relationships with Jake Gyllenhaal who was also much older. As a woman who is 18 and just getting into her first relationship, hearing Taylor's experiences has really helped me in making the right choices in my life, I really appreciate her being so vulnerable in her lyrics throughout her whole career.

[@TraceyM-mj5vg]

She took the note further when she was younger, it was still fresh in her memory

[@Sonia-cb8dj]

You getting a bit more personal really hit home with me. I didn't grow up in an outright abusive home, but I always felt like something was missing. Over time I came to realise I learned to hide my emotions, my enthusiasm. Couldn't express myself as a fan of something if I couldn't explain why it was 'good'' or important to me. And you just made me realise that I haven't let it go yet. So thank you for sharing your thoughts. Now I will be aware of the fact that I could focus on letting it go and moving on, instead of hanging on to how unfair that felt.

[@sarahnovaes8707]

Not only is she using the stain glass analogy to talk about how she feels looking back, but also, at the time she was with John Mayer he was living in a remodeled church that still had the stain glass windows. It’s imagery that probably reminds her of John + her feeling of having upset god in some way for being with him. It’s a lot of guilt mixed in with sadness. This song hits so hard. And it’s even harder knowing that right after John she repeated the pattern dating Jake gyllenghal that was also older and also made her feel bad about their age difference. Probably John created a pattern in her mind that took years to break out of hence the “I miss who I used to be” and the “give me back my girlhood”.

[@petermj]

wcs is one of my favorite taylor songs because of how relatable it is for me. my dad was very emotionally/verbally/physically abusive to me throughout my entire childhood and so many of these lyrics hit me in my soul. the first time i heard it, the bridge especially made me burst into tears. “i can’t let this go” “the tomb won’t close” “i fight with you in my sleep” “the wound won’t close” “if clarity’s in death then why won’t this die” “give me back my girlhood it was mine first” it’s like she’s saying she wants so desperately for this not to be a thing that still affects her, but she doesn’t know how to make that happen. like he hurt her so deeply it’s now become part of who she is. “god rest my soul” - help me let this go.

[@MoyaoftheMist]

Both songs hit me super hard, honestly. When I was 22, I dated a 32yo. There’s a big difference between her age and mine-between 19 and 22-obviously, but still. I think it’s important that she wrote this when she was 32, the age he was. Like…she reached his age and looked back and it hit her how messed up it was. The same thing happened to me when I reached his age (…which is also when the song came out, because I’m Taylor’s age). I didn’t realize at the time that our relationship was unhealthy. With my family background, it all felt very normal. It wasn’t until I dumped him that I realized it was thoroughly fucked, y’know? Learned a lot, though, exactly like you said. For example, if a guy only has ‘crazy exes,’ that’s a 🚩 >_>;; And if a guy says that he has trauma around rejection and uses that to make you feel guilty about saying no to things, ummm… Yeah, that’s a him problem. Honestly, if I’d been in that relationship at 19, though, those lessons would have been MUCH harder. 😬

[@wwpetko-6760]

Yep. When I was 19/20 I dated a 37 year old…..I was so naive.

[@MoyaoftheMist]

@@wwpetko-6760 It happens way too often. Creeps like that have a sense for people who make good targets, I feel like…

[@sirCharon]

​@@wwpetko-6760its not your fault for wanting to believe in the good in people, they SHOULD have known better

[@sirCharon]

@@hannahmontana9307 what is wrong with you?

[@Joannachin]

I never thought about not missing my inocent version. You saying that now we are wiser and aware really made sense to me. It helped

[@melindatintle9728]

I agree. I hadn’t really thought about it that way. Because sometimes I also miss who I was before I went through crap in my late teens early 20s and then who I was before being a nurse for 9 years (bc you don’t work through the pandemic without coming out jaded a little unfortunately and that’s never who I was). So it’s refreshing to hear that statement from you.

[@andreekelly6611]

Taylor processes through her lyrics and that leads to healing.

[@betzology6711]

'Give me back my girlhood ,it was mine first' is so sad. He was 32 and she was 19 when he stole her virginity. Taylor is so strong!

[@Sud5862]

not virginity, just her innocence, thats what girlhood is :(

[@conns08]

She had her first time with jack gyllenhall i think

[@sailorbey]

we don't know who really took her virginity and i wish people would stop speculating. it's way too intimate to be a topic

[@conns08]

@@sailorbey it‘s not a speculation when she states it in a song i‘m not sure if it’s confirmed and i don’t wanna speculate so i‘m sorry if i did you‘re right

[@betzology6711]

​@@Sud5862I think it is a double meaning that some might see as one reason, another or both

[@sheilamason1895]

He crushed Jessica Simpson and she wrote about it in her book. He has a history!

[@avamaeoneill]

her book is so sad, im reading it rn

[@DanielleFromMI]

Your little speech to her younger self was so fantastic and I was so excited you would get to hear would’ve could’ve should’ve right after and know she got it with time ❤️

[@sum_rand0m]

Dear John live from the Speak Now World Tour is INSANE

[@charbenz2768]

She says it in her song about getting him where it hurts, but I believe that's just fantasy. Because she has made it clear to her fans to leave him alone.

[@TopNotchWatcher87]

I happened to be at the Minneapolis show, night 2, and got to witness Dear John live! This was such a crazy thing for us Swifties, the crowd lost our minds!

[@brittanyjansen2325]

She wrote would've could've should've after having to watch him perform during the 2020 Grammys I think. Such a powerful song. I hope it gave her closure for herself.

[@vmcgriff]

Maybe this 2nd song was the catalyst that helped her heal! My hope is now she doesn’t feel that way anymore and can now see that she is who she is from what she learned from that messed up relationship!! ❤

[@Flowerpaffer]

I came for the reaction and stayed for the therapy session, loved that lol

[@ashleyauker621]

Thank you for showing your vulnerability ❤❤ I love when reactors talk about how they relate to a song and their perspectives. And with some artists, like Taylor Swift, that can lead to some deep conversations and I'm all for that!

[@purpledragonfly313]

This song hits hard. I was in a very difficult relationship at 19 to almost 23(he stalked me for years and threatened to kill me when I left) and it is def relatable. I absolutely understand the loss of innocence and regret, because it changed you forever. You move on, but getting back to who you were is not always possible. Our experiences shape us. To me the ghosts and memories like weapons are good descriptions of the Flash backs that are both scary and physically hurt.

[@Hey_Jamie]

I think when she says she misses who she used to be, she means the person she was before he came into her life

[@cascadeoceanwaveblues]

these 2 songs are easily the best songs on the album and some of y favourite of all time

[@cocoraia]

The editing on this is top tier

[@jaimimelissa7495]

Your deep thoughts were so spot on. As a 43 year old woman who has healed from the past, I relate to what you said about letting go so much. ❤

[@Mom3js]

You need to watch the live concert of this. It is so much deeper to see her sing it.

[@LimeSlimeee]

3:48 SAID IT PERFECTLYYY

[@brytonmunro5270]

“…When I was 32” GIRL I ASSUMED YOU WERE IN YOUR LATE 20’s 😩😂

[@eevvee8831]

As someone who has just found out that she suffered from grooming, it was like a full pale of cold water was thrown at my face. Being young and naive, you're expected to be reckless and stupid at times because that's the point of growing up but to realize that someone has taken advantage of you just because you were young, forgiving, naive is deeply scary and heartbreaking. That line, when I heard it, was brutal and sad. I did not hear taylor singing it but I heard almost a war cry. It wasn't glorious to talk about something that inflicted trauma on you while growing up, it did not feel like she was taking on a fight and winning; it felt desperate almost. She was desperate to take back something that the relationship took from her and she knows she'll never get back. It was almost like she was bargaining to have it back. It was like "please, I had first. I meant to keep it and I know I believed you before but it was supposed to be mine to give to someone who would treat me the way I deserved to but you didn't do that so can I please have it back?" type of cry. I don't think people realizes how sad this line and how much this explains probably half of her personality. Out of all the messed up things that happened, this probably is the one that made her grow up the fastest when she was meant to enjoy her younger years like a normal teenager should. Acceptance is key but so is forgiving but how do you forgive someone who does not acknowledge their mistake?

[@AGloriousLife]

Fun fact: John Mayer used to live in a converted church building - his condo had stained glass church windows.

[@milenaeverette]

So the way I see it, Would've Could've Should've is about how much the relationship affected her personality as a whole. 19 is the age where you're becoming an adult and saying goodbye to your childhood. I think for her, having a bad relationship at that age, meant having that transition ripped from her. So she never got the chance to make a decision over things that may be seen as indicative of innocence. I think it's a song about how he robbed her of that moment of finding herself as an adult, and the fact that it was very much public didn't help either. So when she mentions the "crisis of faith" she's both literally talking about how she used to be very religious and that relationship drove her away from that aspect of her life but also how her innocence was taken from her by someone else. I think the "give me back my girlhood" line isn't necessarily about her virginity like some say, but about her innocence. She's mourning now, because she couldn't mourn then. Also, "would've, could've, should've" can be a reference to the grief stages (would = negotiation, could = denial, should = anger)

[@skylarmercykilled1986]

The girlhood line hits so close to home. Also would love a reaction like this to bigger than the whole sky, this is me trying, the great war and you're on your own kid

[@maggiestorz6892]

2 of her best songs ever tbh

[@pollyanasilva8106]

This song hit a huge nerve on me. It was extremally personal because I think most of us girls had that jackass that we wish we could scream "give me back my girlhood it was mine first", and ironically, mine was at 19 and I held onto that relationship for seven years... He wasn't older, but he had so much more experience than I did back then, and for a while I blamed myself for what happened, and then I blamed him, and now I just don't care. This song actually helped me a lot in getting over and realizing that he wasn't a saint or a villain, he was just a jackass who needs therapy to get over his own demons, and it opened my eyes, and yes, I miss the girl I used to be, but I'm happy that no one actually stays the same and I've grown so much and I'm thankful I was stubborn enough to hang onto my faith, because it was what kept me grounded and sane throughout that relationship even though he was a "crisis of my faith" many times. Also I can so relate to the anxiety of the song.

[@nmu007]

this was profound... i'd love to hear you talk more about these deep topics... when does the podcast stars? 😂

[@odlotowybalkon4967]

It was a beautiful and reflective reaction, thank you for this and for sharing your feeling with us ❤

[@TheMariaKM]

My favourite thing is that Dear John ( letter) is a term with the definition a wife or girlfriend that is informing him that their relationship is over. So technically she isn’t saying it’s about John but she is using the term dear John. And I just think that is so freaking smart!

[@tlrolls]

One thing to point out is that in would’ve could’ve should’ve you hear the would’ve’s and could’ve’s but the should’ve’s are in dear John

[@akkathysmith]

I love that you’re becoming a swiftie! Us older ladies love her too!

[@ceeceepg]

I think the line "I missed who I used to be" is referring to how that relationship kinda scarred her perception of love and her feeling of safety in relationships. Her early albums contain a lot of fairy tail love stories that are naive but also pure. Then In many songs after Dear John she touches on how she struggles with self sabotaging good relationships while also chasing the more toxic ones. Songs like 'Red' and 'All Too Well' talk about how she was addicted to the 'passionate' relationships that come with the fighting. And how then when she was in healthier relationships she would get bored or scared it would change. So she felt like her ability to love in a healthy way was damaged.

[@funland19]

This was amazing I would love to see more like this in the future!💕 Some that I would love to see would be Tolerate It and This is Me Trying if you haven’t reacted to those yet!

[@sophieminocha]

Yes omg please react to these!

[@carolinew302]

In an interview she said that you can move on without forgiving. Forgiving is overrated. And I love her for that, because I truly believe in this.

[@epohmp4]

memories feel like weapons because weapons hurt people and the memories are hurt.

[@AnxietyRat]

I really liked this deeper dive and the personal stories you shared. I would absolutely love to hear more stories if there are things that you're willing to share with us. So yeah, i vote for more videos like this. It was wonderful ( and sad) to hear how you could relate to the lyrics on top of us learning a bit about HOW she is singing the lyrics. I'm a random internet stranger but I really really enjoyed this video. Hope to see more videos like this, in the future, on this channel.

[@laurabella13]

This is one of her best songs

[@dancerM-cd3le]

Would've, Could've, Should've almost sounds like the stages of a breakdown about something. You go from being incredibly angry, which is that dark sound of the song, to completely breaking down about it which is the sound of the heartbreak in the bridge. I love all these reactions you're doing!!

[@maddyh9110]

The "give me back my girlhood, it was mine first" really shows how young she was It's as if a little kid wants to get back their toy that was taken by another child at the playground. It really shows her inner child wanting that innocence and childhood back

[@megcperez]

I’m *so* late to this party but “memories feel like weapons…” very much sounds the way PTSD is described by vets & dv survivors I’ve spoken with.

[@oriyanbarnes]

26:40 this song talks a lot about trauma and describes it really well Both "I'm scared of ghosts" and "memories feel like weapons" are very telling of experiencing a traumatic experience, especially at such a young age But I think it also ties in to another element that is prominent in the song Me, I'm Jewish so I don't know a lot about it, but from a lot of reactors and my knowledge of Taylor and how she grew up religious- she might also be making references to Christianity purity culture She talks about god and religion multiple times throughout the song, she seems scared that she lost her way, I don't know enough about growing up in Christianity during that time in order to inform someone else about it specifically but it does seem like she might be referring to that and that is why she's scared of the past haunting her Multiple reactors mentioned it and talked about it and the subject at length via this song and shared their experiences... i highly recommend watching other people analysing this song bc sadly, me included, a lot of us can relate to it

[@pollyanasilva8106]

I believe she's catholic, and as a protestant I can testify that purity is almost a commandment in christianity. We, both men and women, are encouraged to wait to our spouses to "earn a blessing". And when we don't, we have a whole lot of guilt that comes with the fact that we "lost our blessings". And as a christian who didn't "wait for the spouse" I had to deal with that guilt for a long time, and when he broke up our relationship, all eveyone could talk was how I had lost a blessing by fornicating and now I was paying for going against God, and the amount of anxiety that it came with that. I thank God I have a supportive family that held me and told me "you're going to be okay" and that helps me pay for my therapy, because the anxiety that this situation brought is no joke. There's a lot of pressure for purity.

[@oriyanbarnes]

@@pollyanasilva8106 thank you so much for sharing, I'm sorry that you went through that and I'm sending you an internet hug, I hope you're doing better now💜

[@pollyanasilva8106]

@@oriyanbarnes I'm getting there. Thank you for caring.

[@tuxaretz6990]

PLEASE PLEASE REACT TO THE LIVE SPEAK NOW TOUR VERSION OF THIS! ITS STUNNING, HER VOICE IS SO THEATRICAL

[@GLEEK12345678910]

Dear John is my favorite Taylor swift song!!! 🥰

[@TopNotchWatcher87]

And yes, seeing this side of you was heartwarming, and loved and agreed with everything you said! Taylor does that to us, she makes us feel things. :)

[@earthtotracee]

The stained glass windows reference is to that he is to live in a refurbished church that had stained glass windows

[@ax.olotls]

One thing I really like about Midnights specifically is that each song was written about, and possibly during, different times throughout her life. Not everything is current or recent. We don't know when this was written, but I do remember seeing her say that she didn't care anymore about what happened when she was 19. Obviously, I know that was mainly targeted toward swifties that feel the need to attack her exes online for her. But it's so nice to see her grown and able to reflect and be sad or resentful about it, but also have the maturity and grace to move from it. And it's good to see how happy she is with where she is now

[@jaylynn8630]

Based on her most recent 4 albums, I'm pretty sure Taylor has moved on and let go of her bad past relationships. Would've Could've Should've comes from a sort of unique circumstance: a piece I think you were missing when you made this video is that Taylor is now 32, the age John Mayer was when he dated her at 19. So I would say she has moved on from it and healed, but turning 32 tore the wound back open a little bit, just having the confirmation of knowing that John knew exactly how predatory his behavior was, because at 32, reflecting on her 19-year-old self, it's crystal clear how young she was. There's no way that at 32, he didn't know the same thing. And that new perspective renewed her anger and grief over the relationship, just like how if you lost a parent when you were young, even if you have generally healed, you'd feel fresh grief at major life events, like graduation, marriage, and the birth of a child, that your parent should have been there for. By the way, the apartment John Mayer lived in at the time that they dated was part of an old church building, and there were stained glass windows in it. There definitely are religious themes, but the stained glass windows are probably doing double duty as imagery of what the places this relationship occurred in looked like in addition to being religious imagery. As far as anyone is aware, John Mayer was the first time she was in any kind of abusive relationship, so I don't think it was like your experience of seeking familiar things. The way I understand it is that in Debut and Fearless, she was legitimately innocent; she was very young, she loved romance novels and movies, and didn't have very much dating experience. When she wrote love songs and break up songs, some of it came from personal experience, but she's said that a lot of it came from the stories she heard, which is part of why there was so much storybook romance in those two eras. You'll notice that the album after this relationship - Red - has a much more complicated perspective on love and relationships. It feels more real, it talks not just about bad breakups, but about bad relationships. John Mayer was a guy she had really looked up to, as a singer, songwriter, and guitarist, so of course she wanted to meet him and talk to him, and when he showed romantic interest, of course she was flattered! I wonder if her love of romance stories worked against her in this - there's a ton of glorification of abusive behaviors in romance novels. Some people think the "girlhood" she was talking about was her virginity, but I think it's probably about that innocent belief in storybook romances and love fixing people and that sort of thing. It could always be both, of course.

[@summertok]

5:45 it's blank space!! "got a long list of ex lovers, theyll tell u im insane, but ive got a blank space baby, and ill write ur name"

[@jellyfish9644]

As an 18 year old currently living through the far end of exactly when you are talking about and relating so incredibly closely I LOVE this video it feels like I’m getting the loving mom talk I never properly got and it is SOOO healing ❤❤❤ I love this video and I do also watch your husbands content and would love more of these topics from you so so much ❤

[@kerrybogdanovic3420]

I really enjoy your reactions. Before 6 months ago, I only listened to a few songs by Taylor Swift, but my playlist grows almost daily. She is very talented, and has lyrics that always strike emotional chords. And listening and watching her on KZbin is how I found your channel. And for that I am grateful!!

[@avu2888]

I've been binging your videos all night & I love your reactions, vocal analysis, AND tidbits of your life. hearing these (unfortunately) universal experiences expressed in a song is so cathartic (thank you taylor for doing god's work). & on top of that, seeing other women relate & use these songs to heal from their own experiences is so therapeutic. also, hearing from you that it DOES get better as you get older, to not spend time holding grief & anger & sadness from past mistakes, is so healing as well. sorry I love your channel LOL 💗

[@michibelle9728]

Would’ve could’ve should’ve - please react if you haven’t! Notice how she doesn’t say “should’ve” in that song because she KNOWS NOW that BE SHOULD HAVE LEFT HER ALONE. Also, listen to his interview saying she was like an Angel when he saw her “DRAWING LIKE A LITTLE KID.”

[@avamaeoneill]

yep, and when ellen remarked on how sweet and innocent she was john responded with “ill make sure she doesn’t stay that way” 🤢

[@deaditeera]

John actually said in an interview while they were dating that he did see her as sweet and innocent and he knew he wanted her bc of that He definitely took advantage of the fact that she idolized him It’s sick and she’s not the only woman he’s treated this way but I think she’s the youngest

[@avamaeoneill]

she was the youngest but not the biggest age gap, pretty sure he recently dated kiernan shipka who is in her early twenties (the age gap was bigger than her actual age, and he was already making music when she was born)

[@cactustime8419]

I loved the deep convo in the video! Everything you said was so amazing and relaxing. I was in a similar situation and watching you talk about it was really nice! I would like you to continue with sharing small pieces of your life it was entertaining and it felt true. The powe of Taylor Swift lol

[@loriwillis3251]

LIVE VERSION A MUST SEE!!!

[@ms112174]

You’ve GOT to do the live version

[@pim6189]

The song with the list is blank space btw

[@Pathfinder197]

Great reactions! As much as I appreciate the vocal coach take on performances, it is nice to incorporate personal reflections on the songwriting content, especially with a writer like Swift. “Memories feel like weapons” was a great way to refer to unresolved emotional trauma, which can weaponize memories and regrets. Worth noting that in Taylor’s Anti Hero MV, which she directed, there’s a ghost in her house on a sleepless night wearing a cowboy hat and cowboy gloves that looks pretty Mayer-like. Taylor wrote WCS with musical collaboration from Aaron Dessner after they saw JM performing at the Grammys when they performed the Folklore/Evermore medley. Understandable if that combined with her re-recording Speak Now led to processing some unresolved trauma. Mayer lived in a converted church with stained glass windows when he and Swift dated, hence the stained glass windows lyrics. And props for Swift for turning the “promising young man” trope around with “promising grown man”. Swift has a gift for conveying complicated emotions through her songs - from the anxiety, anger and religious guilt associated with WCS to the anxiety over relationships and people leaving that we hear on songs like The Archer and Labyrinth.

[@littlelove13]

24:24 Holy shit. ‘Once you can forgive- actually when you can let it go.’ You Taylor in bad blood- ‘you forgive you forget but you never let it go’ Taylor in an interview- ‘you don’t have to forgive or forget to move on. You can just move on’

[@Azx12345]

She said it very rightly that you can forget and forgive someone who has added value in your life but if something was always toxic you don't have to forgive and forget I believe that too

[@aimiemcphee7333]

The fact that she wrote dear John in the "style"of John mayer kills me