Warning Lights in Marriage | Dave and Ashley Willis

  Рет қаралды 20,158

XO Marriage

XO Marriage

Күн бұрын

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@zandilezulu637
@zandilezulu637 2 жыл бұрын
I'm half way through listen and I'm convicted. Thank you for this topic. There's so much I see about myself just by listening to what you guys are talking about. God bless you 🙌🏼🙌🏼
@Dave-um7mw
@Dave-um7mw 5 жыл бұрын
My warning lights are when my wife says that she's "Fine," or to "Do whatever you want."
@veravasilenko77
@veravasilenko77 2 жыл бұрын
This was incredible!!! Thank you guys so much!! Just what I needed to hear! :)
@XOMarriage
@XOMarriage 2 жыл бұрын
Glad you enjoyed it!
@carolholland1424
@carolholland1424 Жыл бұрын
I was in a marriage of 36+ years with little to no affection. I was love starved! When he died, I was desperate for love and that too, can be so dangerous! God rescued me, although I made drastic mistakes in the process. Now engaged to an excellent man of God who is loving and affectionate. Much different for the best! O Father God, thank you!
@melissahaneline6544
@melissahaneline6544 3 жыл бұрын
Just finding this content, and I wish they'd handled the questing better given the context of "warning lights". The issue with couples fighting at night is usually about HOW they choose to "table" any issue until later (IF they have negotiated a way to do that at all!) If the spouse who wants time to process asks for it, while verbally committing to a specific time the next day to do so (after breakfast, for example) then the upset spouse can learn to trust the process and relax into the solid commitment of the marriage with the unresolved issue in proper context. FWIW
@AnnaRiveraSheerBeautybyAnna
@AnnaRiveraSheerBeautybyAnna 2 жыл бұрын
I AM WITH YOU. My husband always wants to ignore everything and not even try to fix it. He says we will revisit and than doesn't.
@a.mom4life
@a.mom4life 5 жыл бұрын
Is being told that I'm being brainwashed by these podcasts also considered a warning light? It seems the more I dig into the Word, the deeper the wounding becomes. Every.single.one of these warning lights have been blasting me right in the face for the better part of 13 years. I get anxiety just thinking about how I should approach any topic that needs to be addressed. And the outcome is literally the same every time. "Why are you ALWAYS trying to start an argument?" "Well, I'm sorry you feel that way." "You can think what you want." "There isn't a problem, You're the only one who sees a problem." "Why can you never just be happy with the way things are?" "You're psychotic and a terrible example of a woman." "I hope our daughters never grow up to be like you. " Tone. Such a HUGE indicator of a heart problem. I've written letters to express my heart safely, because my husband doesn't listen long enough to let me finish.ever. and flies off the handle at the first sign of conviction. He rejects them. Tosses them aside. There is so much projection going on. The difference between he and I is this. I make a conscious effort to own my short comings, accept responsibility for my hang ups & over reactions, I seek forgiveness when I've been out of line. He dismisses everything and holds onto it.
@kpace985
@kpace985 5 жыл бұрын
Sounds like your husband may have some passive aggression. I've been married almost 16 years to a passive aggressive man. A lot of what you said sounds so familiar: I was the one causing a problem because there really wasn't a problem then I would spend forever apologizing for causing the problem (I really believed it was my fault) only to be given the silent treatment for days instead of forgiveness. "Pick your battles" became a way of life for me. My husband has never been able to discuss issues that normal couples discuss. He sees it as a personal attack if I want to discuss things like finance or household chores. I really had to decide whether an issue was serious enough to risk bringing up with him. Was it worth the argument that it will undoubtedly cause and was it worth being punished with the silent treatment. I just labeled it as childish behavior. About 3 years ago he got angry at me and said he was never going to have sex with me again. That's when I googled what it means when a spouse withholds sex and found out that it is something passive aggressives do. It still sucks being married to a man who can't express emotion but I've learned about how to deal with it. I've also learned a lot about why my husband is like that. Like me and my husband, you and your husband speak completely different languages. You're writing your feelings down and he doesn't know what to do with that. My husband grew up in a household where his mother was in charge of everything, his father didn't (still doesn't) make a move without instructions from "the boss", and everyone was expected to do what they were told to do without question. Speaking up was discouraged, expressing feelings was frowned upon and very little affection was shown. His parents argued about everything and so my husband avoids anything with any hint of conflict. Because of all of that, my husband doesn't know how to discuss issues like an adult and doesn't know how to express emotions. While I have a greater understanding of why my husband acts the way he does, it's still hard. I found that my insurance pays for psychologists and I started seeing one on a regular basis. I told her that I needed marriage counseling for one. I started watching Marriage Today videos on my own and my husband just happened to be in the same room when I watched them. Now he watches them with me and he is slowly understanding more about how marriage is really supposed to work. After 2 months of counseling by myself, he started to come with me. Slowly, things have started to get better. The one thing that has started that change was a weekly "business" meeting. 1. Choose a convenient time and place. The meeting should be at least 30 minutes but no more than an hour. 2. Talk about things coming up in the week such as appointments, work schedules 3. Projects that need to be done or that you want to do, things that need to be fixed in the house--without criticism no one has done anything wrong (my husband interprets things needing to be fixed as being criticized) 4. What can we do for fun this week--as a couple and as a family 5. Each of us ask "What's one thing that I can do for you this week" 6. Be sure we each say something we appreciated about each other that week. These "business" meetings are pretty business-like but it was opened up a safe environment where I can share feelings a little bit and he can listen and sometimes respond. It's a slow process--a drop of water at a time in the bucket--but we are making progress with communication. I want you to know that you are not alone and not to give up. I have to tell myself that every day. You are not alone and you can get through this. Work on taking care of yourself first. And if that means counseling for just you then do it. Keep watching and listening to these podcasts. They really lift me especially when I feel like my marriage is never going to get better.
@alejandrab.84
@alejandrab.84 5 жыл бұрын
Same thing here,we got married last year and it’s been a nightmare!!! Everything is my fault,if I want to talk about something it means I want to argue,never mind intimacy it doesn’t even exist! I really want him to leave,I can’t change him only God can do that,and the thing is that he in his mind is right. There’s no connection at all!!!
@taylorstewart7117
@taylorstewart7117 4 жыл бұрын
Keep seeking the Father and doing your part. God will eventually convict him. But you can't change him, only God can. You keep working on you and the rest will align. Trust me I've been there. There is hope
@Rancid-Jane
@Rancid-Jane 3 жыл бұрын
He is a deeply damaged person.
@WonderWomanInMichigan
@WonderWomanInMichigan 3 жыл бұрын
Yup. I could never bring up stuff to discuss if it at all looked like he had something to work on. :( so discouraging. So numbing.
@christophersalvatoreraimun8578
@christophersalvatoreraimun8578 5 жыл бұрын
This is a very important message and list of items ( Warning lights), thank you.
@zanaclarke1819
@zanaclarke1819 5 жыл бұрын
Thank you for this wonderful information and teaching
@braylendylan1775
@braylendylan1775 3 жыл бұрын
i guess I am kind of randomly asking but does anybody know a good place to watch new series online ?
@koaalijah8294
@koaalijah8294 3 жыл бұрын
@Braylen Dylan i watch on FlixZone. Just google for it :)
@gorgeouswales9635
@gorgeouswales9635 5 жыл бұрын
Wow thank you guys! I needed to hear this message today! God Bless you both😊
@crystalmcintosh4700
@crystalmcintosh4700 4 жыл бұрын
What if you feel disconnected because you and and your spouse have been hit with task of taking care of your sick Parent... We no longer have time to ourselves, we are trying to do the right thing and help her but it’s taking over our household and marriage.
@kandkhudson
@kandkhudson 5 жыл бұрын
I needed to hear this!
@angelastrickland7697
@angelastrickland7697 4 жыл бұрын
My husband picks fights at bedtime and it’s not ok. Pray for Roy and his drug addiction. He needs it. I really don’t know how to deal with this anymore. An it’s pure sadness
@ritajohannessen9804
@ritajohannessen9804 4 жыл бұрын
I will pray, cry out to Gud
@AnnaRiveraSheerBeautybyAnna
@AnnaRiveraSheerBeautybyAnna 2 жыл бұрын
Praying for you 🙏
@CarriannJohnson_GrittyGlory
@CarriannJohnson_GrittyGlory 4 жыл бұрын
My warning lights have been going off for years and he just keeps lighting up more! 😓
@Johnrider1234
@Johnrider1234 5 жыл бұрын
We have been together five years. Just had a preeme baby boy. Marriage is over.
@aurorapizano7965
@aurorapizano7965 5 жыл бұрын
THANK YOU SO MUCH❤️
@melindabanksisom8781
@melindabanksisom8781 5 жыл бұрын
A Simple ThanQ🌹
@tammykrahn2196
@tammykrahn2196 5 жыл бұрын
awesome
@amys.5307
@amys.5307 5 жыл бұрын
This woman talks way too much. They say wise words, but it would be much more beneficial, if she didn't talk soon much.
@jayhillz3705
@jayhillz3705 4 жыл бұрын
Amy S. And her husband is a pussy whipped beta male
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