Warp Speed: Bad Movie Review

[@DarkCornersReviews]

Put a smile on the Science Advisor's face and pick up a t-shirt with his face on. Send us a picture and we'll send you a link to an exclusive review. www.teepublic.com/t-shirt/68577379-the-science-advisor-says-no-t-shirt?ref_id=26415&store_id=1309915

[@Dee-v5n]

Which version of "A Christmas Carol" is closest to the book?

[@tenebrousoul9368]

I absolutely love your dad, dude.

[@jamescappio7434]

All hail our Science Advisor!

[@LangwidereLMFT]

The Science Advisor is awesome!

[@BarryHart-xo1oy]

Quite right.

[@thronezwei4412]

He's the best.

[@GrandOldMovies]

Thumbs up for the Science Advisor!

[@countgeekula9143]

They clearly valued their poker table, plastic chairs and shelving units far more than the lives of their crew mates 😂

[@DarkCornersReviews]

It probably had more character

[@burtbacarach5034]

Not to mention that 150 pound microwave.

[@mattmallecoccio8378]

It's a bit disappointing when the science advisor agrees with the mov - I mean when he doesn't say "noooo."

[@reignfire85]

The Science Advisor basically said that the classic sci-fi short story "The Cold Calculations" was correctly used for this film and I'm delighted to hear it.

[@hankw69]

Good sir you sold me at Adam West...

[@1kylecurry]

Star Trek meets Event Horizon meets Solaris meets Batman...in Space! This extravaganza should be introduced too MST3k / Rifftrax.

[@davejackson9016]

(Non) Event Horizon...?

[@KarlBunker]

😄

[@karlkarlos3545]

Event Horiz-non

[@euansmith3699]

😆😆😆👍

[@mborok]

Uneventful Horizon.

[@hilaryc8648]

Nah, that’s Event Horizon.

[@TheMightyPALADIN]

I paused the video to comment about the many things they could get rid of instead of people, but as soon as I started the video again, you said the same thing, so I just deleted my comment. Score for you! You were way ahead of me.

[@davidlionheart2438]

Always nice to see Adam West and Barry Gordon who gave one of the best performances I've ever seen from a child actor in "A Thousand Clowns" 1965 with Jason Robards and Barbara Harris.

[@geraldmartin7703]

Barbara Harris was gorgeous.

[@thejupiter2574]

Ohhh yeah, Barry Gordon, I knew he looked familiar. He played an adoptive son on the TV show Fish with Abe Vegoda.

[@moonspots01]

The Science Advisor is SPOT ON!

[@tomsenior7405]

"...running a race in a bearskin bra". Perfect. (If only I could breathe after hearing that).

[@elennapointer701]

Movie subtitle: Eventless Horizon.

[@jamescappio7434]

Uneventful Horizon

[@KravKernow]

In a world where Dark Star exists why is 'which is the best long haul space movie' a matter of conjecture?

[@SupremeGreatGrandmaster]

It's Space Truckers.

[@DamnedSilly]

Alien isn't bad.

[@AliceBowie]

Dark Star is great for a student film. John Carpenter and Dan O'Bannon were obviously going to be successful.

[@cord113]

If you need to get rid of your pleasure center don't forget to keep the new games room behind the bar. Liquor in the front, poker in the rear. Remember that and you'll be ok.

[@euansmith3699]

This channel has the most huggable science advisor. 🤗👴 Robin sounds really teed off by this film.

[@fattiger6957]

This movie sounds like it was written by someone who was a big fan of sci-fi short stories. I have read many with a similar plot. The problem is those short stories are like 20 pages long and are better suited to an episode of an anthology TV series rather than a full film.

[@godlaydying]

The story 'The Cold Equations' is specifically about a spaceship having to shed weight.

[@princecharon]

@@godlaydying The Cold Equasions has a lot of problems, since the editor wanted the conclusion we got, and the writer knew it didn't make sense for multiple reasons.

[@jasonblalock4429]

There literally was an episode of the Metal Hurlant TV show about this same basic concept. (It even had its own quirky cult actor guest-star, Dominique Pinon.) And yes, definitely better-suited to a 25-minute story. And even that was padded out, compared to the source comic, which was only a few pages long. I mean, a truly great psychological writer/director could absolutely make it work in a full length film, but the character writing and acting would have to be impeccable to sustain the story.

[@jackbrennan1125]

Do a retrospective video on the creature from the black lagoon trilogy. Post Haste!

[@tenebrousoul9368]

I second this motion.

[@andrewyoung2796]

Julie. Almost had what's the beautiful gal in the white bathing suit?

[@jackbrennan1125]

@@andrewyoung2796 Julie Adams

[@TomFrichek]

Asking someone (even Robin, toward whom we are all somewhat masochistic) to watch The Creature Walks Among Us is vile! I love it.

[@thrashpondopons8348]

I would bet even $$$ that the 'Jerky Crew Member' was Barry Gordon... who gave us the Holiday Ballad 'I Aint Gettin Nuthin For Christmas'!

[@Bigbadwhitecracker]

And he was extra annoying in Archie Bunker's Place

[@thrashpondopons8348]

@@Bigbadwhitecracker The Same!

[@tuckerbowen4626]

at this point horror/scifi movies about finding a haunted abandoned spaceship could be its own subgenre. Sunshine, Event Horizon, Dark Side Of The Moon, Creature/Titan Find...

[@mr_ozzio5095]

The Black Hole should get a mention, the crew are eerie cyborgs/zombies thanks to Doctor Reinhart!

[@POEMS466]

Good list. Thanks! I have copies of two of these but will look for the rest.

[@tuckerbowen4626]

@@mr_ozzio5095 i was pretty young when i saw that movie, i don't remember a lot of details

[@tuckerbowen4626]

@@POEMS466 happy to help ^-^

[@AliceBowie]

Yeah, but don't forget Solaris. It's amazing, but long. Tarkovsky films are always really long, though. The remake is okay, if only for Jonatham Davies' unique performance.

[@dtdimeflicks6708]

Science Advisor Dad needs to do an entire review at some point. He could use physics to tell us just why a movie is bad.

[@bethd1480]

They probably didn't weigh 2,000 pounds combined and these geniuses couldn't figure out that they needed to throw stuff away. No wonder their mission failed.

[@DarkCornersReviews]

In their defence, getting rid of the people also means they need less food and water.

[@euansmith3699]

@@DarkCornersReviews And they don't have to pay the actors.

[@daveandgena3166]

We got a Science Advisor SUPERCUT!!!!

[@helenj4902]

Love when your mum and dad cameos ! 🤩

[@rohmarts]

Always great to check in with THE Science Advisor.

[@samuraijacques952]

The actor Barry Gordon, who plays David Ingalls in this film is the voice of Donatello from the 80's TMNT cartoon

[@Litauen-yg9ut]

Love your Dad...

[@kemmdog4444]

You’ve got Batman and Donetello of the TMNT.

[@malfeitor1349]

I DONA know how to TELL you this, but it’s spelled DONAtello. Not DONEtello. We all know what you meant…..Im an asshole for pointing it out, I know. It DOES look funnier misspelled, though . Done-tello😂

[@honesto4696]

Just to clarify, the guy in the orange jumpsuit is Barry Gordon and he was the very first voice actor for the characters Donatello and Bebop, on the original 1987 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon.

[@JeffreyDeCristofaro]

If only the crew had been provided with the Dark Corners Science Advisor... so they could do far more than just play cards and shake wind chimes.

[@donhosmer8159]

You're science advisor is top notch

[@chrismayclin6397]

I love the respect you give your father. God bless!

[@TeatroGrotesco]

There already is a Solaris with Batman, well Clooney/batman but still.

[@DarkCornersReviews]

Can't believe I didn't think of that!

[@shannondore]

Did his space suit have nipples.😂

[@ashleys9397]

I watched the widely praised Andrei Tarkovsky original of SOLARIS & found it to be mostly an exercise in tedium---and talk about being a "long hauler". It was also something of a real letdown, because I had read many of its positive reviews and was left expecting something that might be comparable to 2001 (the classic space long hauler). At least the Steven Soderbergh remake--with George Clooney, Natascha McErhone, & Jeremy Davies--is much more effectively streamlined and more dramatically involving---and blessedly shorter than the original.

[@ThreadBomb]

@@ashleys9397 I think the Soderbergh version is underrated. I haven't seen the original, but I have watched Stalker, which I found very uninteresting.

[@skRapKlan]

I came across this movie a few years back and wasn't really expecting much going into it.. But have to say I was pleasantly surprised and had a fun time watching it. Thanks for the great review!

[@barry-allenthe-flash8396]

The Dark Corners Science Advisor has taught me more about space travel in his minute-long clip here than decades of History Channel Ancient Aliens reruns have taught the general populace

[@martincann5052]

Does 'Silent Running' count as a long-haul space movie? If so, then I choose it.

[@Ektalon]

That ship isn’t empty! It’s got a solid rubber ball in the middle, surrounded be either wound runner bands or softer solid layers!

[@travisrygg3317]

Could care less about the movie, love the Science advisor's schooling. Live and learn.

[@marlasotherchannel9847]

Did I hear a MST3K The Movie reference? "It's a long par five..."

[@DarkCornersReviews]

Well-spotted!

[@Hykje]

"Warp Speed" is quite an ironic title for this movie because the story moves at the speed of continental drift.

[@willmfrank]

I'm assuming that Camille is the daughter of Cameron Mitchell the actor, not Cameron Mitchell the character played by Ben Browder on Stargate SG-1...!

[@TheBeird]

4:50 That's what someone once asked of me as we were watching Spiderman: No Way Home

[@davidsigalow7349]

Love the Farrah haircut!

[@benderbendingrodriguez420]

Science Advisor dropping them Newton Knowledge on us😎

[@christopherwall2121]

To be fair, exploring an abandoned ship, psychically recinstructing the events that led to it becoming a derelict, while simultaneously playing no real role in that story, has proved a solid premise for indie survival-horror games.

[@DamnedSilly]

Or Return of the Obra Din...

[@Torgo-and-the-Lucifer-Cat]

Thanks. Never saw this one, I'll check it out!

[@rsacchi100]

Missed this TV movie. Good call from your science advisor. Long haul space movies seem rough to execute. Seen many, not many good.

[@willmfrank]

Could anybody but Science Advisor Dad get away with a catchphrase consisting of only one word? Nooo...

[@euansmith3699]

Well, John Bercow got a lot of use out of "OOOORDER" during his time as Speaker of the House of Commons.

[@Ryan-k9w]

..."The hell was going on in this ship?"...😂

[@eliotmccann2589]

HUZZAH for the Science Advisor!!

[@paulcowboy1967]

Great fun review again......and thanks for the advice about the Horror movie quiz book but......Nooooo.

[@robertrootes]

Awesome T-shirt

[@rondemkiw4492]

This TV movie is comparable to another Canadian TV movie EARTHSTAR VOYAGER (1988) and the Australian children's TV series SILVERSUN. In the Australian series the space voyage was so long the ship had to be crewed with children - what a great excuse to have children in space!

[@sgtmajor5700]

Mike and the bots escaped.

[@markdavidwelsh3340]

Mission Mars (1968) is probably the worst long haul space flight movie. It actually made space exploration look really, really boring. Although the point where the navigator goes to the window & gets his sextant out was super funny!

[@Hykje]

Apollo actually had a sextant as a backup tool for navigation even if it was a little more high-tech than the sea sailing variant.

[@shannondore]

Wow! This movie looks God awful. What doesn't look God awful is that awesome Science Advisor T-shirt. Your dad is adorable.❤

[@AliceBowie]

They should always call space shuttle and rocket launches "tee off time".

[@RavenHouseMystery]

You learn something new every day, especially with the science advisor present.

[@JCIce007]

The Science Advisor would be right to feel a disspointed if you needed to genuinely ask that question about fuel consumption. I see that Starfleet Command trained officers in this era to break necks like Steven Segal. Kirk shoudl have used that move.

[@fattiger6957]

Kirk only needed his double axe handle and dropkick. I think he did bust out a headscissors in one of the movie. I suspect Shatner was a pro wrestling fan.

[@euansmith3699]

@@fattiger6957 Commentator, "He's going for the Full-Romulan Suplex!"

[@bloodrunsclear]

It's funny you mention all the other heavy things they could get rid of before crew mates. I think the characters are as bored as we are and can't wait to make the cast list shorter.

[@buzzawuzza3743]

Batman should have contacted Superman for a rescue.

[@paultapner2769]

Best long hauls; Can't go wrong with 2001. I also quite liked Stowaway. Anna Kendrick movie that's on netflix. Although it does have a very abrupt ending. And of course Space Mutiny. Which is both worst and also best for being the best of the worst. Not worst but Overrated: Interstellar. Some films that are five stars to many are four to me. This was such. it felt like it needed another draft of the script, as I could see how it was going to end after ten mins. So it never quite engaged me that much. I think it would have worked better if it had been about the discovery of the wormhole, and the first expedition through it.

[@patanouketgersiflet9486]

When it comes to long haul, the original Alien is not half bad

[@Dale_The_Space_Wizard]

A little known fact is that this film was actually the prequel to Event Horizon. :)

[@stillhuntre55]

If I see a DCR video, do I pass on it? Noooo.

[@christophertomasello1227]

What the heck is Dad working on? is it the outer casing for a Warpfield projector or perhaps for his philodendron?

[@DarkCornersReviews]

It's the casing of a booster rocket. Usually Nasa reuses them but this one was damaged on reentry so was sold. So that thing has actually been in space.

[@varanid9]

"Noooooo......"

[@Scatscar1985]

Anne Spielberg do this before "Big" or after?

[@POEMS466]

Draw straws!? I'd be doomed. I could never draw a straight line . . .

[@DarkCornersReviews]

But, if you draw from the top down a straw is a circle. Hopefully this information will save you one day.

[@POEMS466]

@DarkCornersReviews Thanks for the solution! I got a chuckle out of it just when I really needed one. Cheers!

[@jfess1911]

Real spacecraft are as small and light as possible. I have always been annoyed that spacecraft in movies often seem to be overly large (rooms, hallways, etc) and just use normal furniture. As noted in this video, getting rid of tables and chairs would happen before eliminating the crew.

[@NGMonocrom]

Honestly, your dad's T-shirt will sell out long before your quiz book. Thumbs-up.... for your dad. 😊❤

[@fattiger6957]

There's an 80s anime movie called They Were Eleven which is a pretty good long haul space movie. Very sci fi feel with every crew member from different planets with very different cultures.

[@FailSonOfAnarchy]

0:50 You might say a "Five year mission."

[@outerlast]

this and event horizon can be related, like one went to one hell, the other to another hell.

[@tubian323]

So it's a sci-fi story called Warp Speed with a ship on a 5 year mission, with Starfleet mentioned? Was something on the writer's mind?

[@DamnedSilly]

No. The marketing team.

[@jeraldbaxter3532]

All I can say, "It was the early 1980s, .the drugs from the 1970s had not worn off yet..., oh, and Reagan..."

[@morgangallowglass8668]

YAY DAD!!!!!!!!!!

[@diebesgrab]

I hate to nerd out here, but psychic powers are an established part of Star Trek lore. Jean Luc Picard’s ship counselor was an empath whose primary purpose in the first couple seasons was to tell him she had a bad feeling about things.

[@euansmith3699]

They could have saved on one bridge officer by just asking the security team. "How do you feel about this away mission, Ensign Goldshirt?" "I've got a bad feeling about this, Captain."

[@tomjohnson4922]

you're right this does sound like a really good movie.... that's too bad it's not. Though it does have Adam West so I may watch it regardless. Oh and I must have that t-shirt! Once I catch up on bills I'm grabbing one. Woot!

[@cpuuk]

You had me at Batman.

[@stephen70edwards]

Robin, I understand why you're teed up to mock this movie, but it's par for the course. It's rough: it doesn't have much of a drive, it's weak in irony, and putters around far too long before being a hole waste of time, although I imagine this might be a wedge issue. But I'm glad you gave it a shot; we had a ball watching it. You addressed it in a fairway and it didn't give you a stroke

[@Elephant2024]

Holy Caped Crusader! Thought that was Adam West.

[@gingataisen]

"Is he bored or dead?" 😂

[@kvnvk8947]

Obviously bored to death.

[@slayerstenis]

Ice Planet from 2001 with Wes Studi. Had to watch it more than once because 'what is happenin?' I have it on DVD also it's free on KZbin.

[@slayerstenis]

Ice Planet kzbin.info/www/bejne/bHfNemCmjquIhbMsi=n-gnXmlBF89422Eh

[@l.a.gothro3999]

Or "Praw Deeps"!

[@GarrettFrechette]

We need more info from the science advisor!

[@DamnedSilly]

Got to say it's a science fiction trope that made for some really good books but seldom a good movie. Usually that's because, like this movie, they didn't understand how space travel works. Fuel should have been replaced with oxygen to make this movie make sense. Oh yeah, the ending question... Alien.

[@MephProduction]

bought the quiz book a few weeks ago 😎

[@jamesnoland7821]

Since you haven't warmed up to the idea of a Robin bobble-head, maybe you can make a Cameo account for your pop instead! I'd pay good money for a personalized Christmas or birthday greeting from him!

[@bryedtan]

So did this TV Movie inspired EVENT HORIZON (1997)

[@skylx0812]

West was in the 80s horror flick One Dark Night. In the dvd extras there's behind the scenes footage of rehearsals. He shur does like 80s short-shorts and hoodies and not much else.

[@richardgadberry8398]

This is what happens when Adam West entered Connecticut.

[@AquamentusLives]

Is this the inspiration for the Holodeck on TNG? Since Riker practically used it as a pleasure center.

[@euansmith3699]

Lister wore out the groinal attachment of the entertainment centre on Red Dwarf.

[@geraldmartin7703]

If everything is weightless in space, there is no weight inside a spaceship. Just floating around in zero gravity is not weight. Consumption of breathable air I understand-- but not this.

[@inquisitor229]

A film made with only two clubs in the bag. :>)

[@bpark222]

3:53 that guy dated Chrissy snow!

[@JohnSmith-x8s5g]

"No !"

[@ashleys9397]

This is something like EVENT HORIZON, minus the excellent gore effects, terse dialogue, and the way WAY better cast.

[@keithwright1621]

I'll bet that you heard that word a lot when you were a kid!

[@VonWenk]

If this was made for TV, what network was it on? Some of the knifings and neck snaps look brutal. I'm betting Mr. "You weren't supposed to see that" was cheating at cards.