Was I lied to about my mother’s death? | DNA Family Secrets - BBC

[@oliverholdup2722]

Jean is my partner’s grandmother who I’ve met a number of times. She really is as sweet as she is on the program, and I can confirm that not only are they invited to her 92nd birthday, but are also coming down to meet the rest of the family in November. Great program, and I’m glad Jean and the others were provided closure for their stories x

[@lilacscentedfushias1852]

I love it when someone has a real connection to the video 😀 she seems a lovely lady & you’re lucky to have her in your life 🥰

[@MizSazz]

5 seconds in and i loved her good to know how sweet she is

[@khills]

I hope the meeting was lovely, and the birthday party even more special!

[@eldajackson1]

So, did her mom simply leave her?

[@safiremorningstar]

Your partner is very lucky to have such a grandmother.

[@khills]

Jean seems lovely! Look at her relief to know her mom lived beyond the war! She smiled and was happy, even though it meant her mother didn’t return to her. That is amazing character.

[@triciac1019]

I wonder if her mom didn't know where to find her

[@qfason5836]

is she relieved or devastated…

[@cathys949]

How heartbreaking to know your mother abandoned you without a word. She is very kind to take the attitude of being glad her mother had a happy life.

[@ameliaholder6530]

I don´t know.... and maybe Jean doesn´t want to talk about it.. but I feel that Jean´s father probably was an abusive person. Her mother was trying to get safe and start a new life. It could be that she wanted to take her children with her but he didn´t permit it. It was the war and everything was confusing. Jean looks too relieved to know that her mother had a happy life after all.

[@MarijaIgerc]

But why didn't her mother try to contact her at some point later? Or at least her half-sister? Did the mother know, where her daughter was? So many interesting questions (but people have allready died - so, no answers).

[@AhJodie]

​@@ameliaholder6530 I think the same thing 😢❤

[@AlmaHernandez-vs2uf]

She did not know what was going to happen,,we don't know exactly what happened,,

[@tartfuel]

@@ameliaholder6530what information are you basing this on? Was there mention of having an abusive father on the show and it was left out?

[@LauraBidingCitizen]

My goodness, what an emotional rollercoaster. It was such a different time back then. I’m so glad she got the answers she deserved & the closure she needed, as well as an entire new family to love & cherish x

[@gudlisner501]

As you age it’s more about answers and not about rage and score settling.

[@cindycreateforlife]

Jean is so sharp, she is just adorable and it is wonderful that she gets to hear the true story and meet her nieces!💕🇨🇦

[@saraanderson2784]

Women didn’t have a lot of rights back then. If she’d wanted divorce may not have been allowed custody of her daughter or allowed to see her.

[@tessat338]

The war was hard on marriages. A lot of them didn't survive. You can almost hear the father saying, "If you do this, you will NEVER see your kids again! You'll be DEAD to them!" Courts and families could be very patriarchal back then. It may not have been the mother's choice but a punitive part of the divorce decree and a decision made by the custodial family to hush up the disgrace of a (whisper) divorce!

[@Smooshes786]

What’s even more heartbreaking are the comments judging what happened back then during war and social issues for women. Too many women have learned to judge what they don’t make time to learn- that’s heartbreaking.

[@ellanina801]

It’s very patriarchal now, and that type of stuff still goes on… i think it’s just easier to ignore now.

[@frankiechong3819]

Jean is very forgiving. Her mom leaving was really something else.

[@nikiTricoteuse]

What a lovely woman Jean seems to be. I'm glad she found some family. I wanted to say, it is quite possible that her mother never voluntarily gave her up. There was a documentary done a few years ago on some of the children who were evacuated to Australia during WWII and there were so many lies told. Many of those children were told that their parents had died or, even worse, that their parents no longer wanted them but, in an act of absolute cruelty many mothers/parents were told that their children had died. Some person took it upon themselves to decide that certain mothers and/or families were 'unfit' and remove their children from them. I know it happened not just to the children sent to Australia but, to other places too. I did a google search and the doco l saw was called "Oranges and Sunshine" but, so many others came up too. If anyone is curious about some of their stories, the search l did was; What was the name of the documentary about the children evacuated to Australia and not returned to their parents? Apparently 130,000 children were removed from parents from the 1920s to the 1970s and there's an interesting article in the Guardian called "Britain's child migrant programme: why 130,000 children were shipped abroad".

[@TeeBoyd88]

I learnt about them in high school (1990's in Australia) I couldn't believe that happened to them.

[@love2sing20101]

Incredibly sad that her mother left her. I could never leave my babes behind. 😢 I’m glad she knows the truth though and has found more family.

[@flavialm1]

She may not have had a choice. Maybe the father ran with the kids and left her behind.

[@quantumnature514]

I can't imagine either. I wondered if her husband was abusive .But that's all the more reason not to be separated. At least Jean is very gracious and kind.

[@TaurusMoon-hu3pd]

Different era, different rules, no internet. I wouldn't judge too harshly.

[@psefti]

He could have kidnapped her and abandoned the wife,

[@BeagleLove13]

Back then the kids were considered the property of the father and the mother only got custody if the dad didn’t want them or if he was some kind of monster who was headed to prison.

[@gisellem927]

The fact that she deep down didn’t believe her father says a lot. There were probably more reasons as to why her mother left that she probably realizes now.

[@makeitmakesense2616]

Dont know why, i just want to give this woman the biggest hug

[@CarolynnMarkey]

in those days the mom could have left because she was being abused. or any other reason. it doesn't have to be abandonment. it could have been something else. world war 2 was crazy.

[@organizersrus]

Such devastation and loveliness all in one story. ❤ I truly hope for updates on Jean.

[@blk5124]

What an immensely gracious woman!! Her mom leaves her and she's just glad her mom was happy. 😮 Wow! What a special lady to be so forgiving.

[@californiadreamer2580]

We likely won't ever know what the truth is regarding how Jean's parents were. It was common in the past to invent "reasons" why one parent was absent.

[@safiremorningstar]

Is the mother I keep wondering why her mother didn’t get at least somehow in touch with her, but I think that if her father was saying she was dead, then it was he who prevented their mother from getting in touch with her.

[@CarolynMcPherson-r3z]

What a beautiful story! I am so happy you had this happy event in your life. God bless you and your newly expanded family.--Charlottesville, Virginia, USA

[@jennifermccollum7854]

Great story. So happy for her

[@SaraMGodois]

Maybe she can be understanding because those were tuff times, but it must feel really...Betraying to know your family just lied to you about a mother's death... At the same time, maybe it was impossible to find her mother back them and the father didn't wanted her to feel abandoned...

[@test-kf2zv]

I was confused about that as well. Sounds to me like it was probably a lot more complicated - I imagine the full episode explains it a little better.

[@kylieharrison3782]

Back then divorce had a bad reputation. Much worse than nowadays. It maybe that it was easier to say dead as it shut down discussions, gossip and rumours. The marriage may have disintegrated due to poor communication or different communication styles or indeed different love styles. The events may simply have nothing sinister behind them. Life back then was based upon tradition unlike now where individualism is prioritised. I love this show because people who are wrapping up their lives before death and allowing us audience into their journey which is an enormously brave but vulnerable thing to do.

[@flavialm1]

Or maybe the father just took the kids and ran, leaving the mother behind. He built a new life as a widower and didn't have to face any consequences. There were a case like this here in my country with refugees the father stole the kids from the mother and ran to the UK, she knows we're they are because some people in the community there told her, but she can't do anything, police won't help, she is in a different country, no documents from her past and no accessto them. The father also told them she died.

[@anonnymowse]

This is terrible but she seems at peace with it.

[@jeno264]

Without knowing the full story, we cant judge why the mother did that. There could have been domestic violence the mother dealt with. The father could have lied to the mother. There is just no knowing why 💖

[@BobbiWallace-qj9ly]

I still wonder why her Mom left her? Did her Dad have anything to do with it. I'm glad she found her Niece 😊

[@paulasoy2731]

Jean is amazing for 91!

[@nacht_owl]

i am so happy for jean, but i feel sad to hear that her mother died rather young, it seems.

[@moonoggin]

Wwhy, do you think her father told such a lie? Out of love or jealousy? Gene is a beautiful woman. She just loved her Mama♡

[@ruthsaunders9507]

I can see how it would be easier to explain to a child that she died, rather than that she left and is still out there somewhere not wanting you. Its not right but it would make life a lot easier.

[@makeitmakesense2616]

This broke me down, i don't think i would want to know.

[@lijohnyoutube101]

Lies only hurt us all. I hope I am never so weak as to not want truths.

[@annevanderlaan6441]

Many men leave children behind. There are reasons. It’s wonderful she found her relatives!

[@victoriamacpriest7130]

Did her Mum think she had been adopted or killed after she was evacuated?

[@oliverholdup2722]

No she knew they were alive, but because she remarried, she wasn’t allowed to see her children (and that side of the family) again. Different time meant different values I guess. Jean is my partner’s grandmother

[@victoriamacpriest7130]

@oliverholdup2722 oh wow.... what a sin 😪

[@janiexoxo]

@@oliverholdup2722was the girls’ father the reason she left? And he lied to spare them or save face?

[@nicolad8822]

@@janiexoxoThere were a lot of broken families during the war. Separation and infidelity but also the stress on less than solid relationships. If it was the woman who had an affair they would have been judged particularly harshly. Maybe she had mental health issues and felt herself incapable of looking after the children. She can’t have been very old when she died. Sad all round.

[@janiexoxo]

@@nicolad8822 very sad. I wasn’t going to accuse, I was just curious.

[@rejanedesevigne]

This is terribly sad. Just to find out how your mum left her little daughter and the little one believed her to have been dead for all those years. Im sorry i just dont get how you can go on your way knowing you left part of yourself behind. 😢

[@TheAW76]

What a lovely lady

[@Did-U-Notice_What.I.GazeAt]

Nice to know ...what happened with the most loved lost one.❤

[@janebrown1706]

130k shipped overseas??? Pom land is filling up again - where do they all go? No transportation anymore!!

[@anovemberstar]

It's kind of frightening how things can come to light decades later like this. Who know what will be able to be found out 100 years from now - things we have NO idea will be easily available to our future grand kids or gt grandkids

[@Echoesofwhispers]

I don’t care what anyone says about “times being different back then”. I would saw myself in half to -at the very least -make contact with my children. Hell itself couldn’t have held me back. The fact that she re-married and had another child leads me to assume abuse was happening, but that would have made me even more set on getting my girls back-Lord only knows what types of danger they could’ve been in. She did keep their picture, which is good. Perhaps she was a very frail type person who wasn’t capable of the level of emotional stability to get to her children, but I just can’t imagine it. Those poor girls, growing up with the trauma of believing their mother was blown to bits. That evil father telling them as such. The whole thing is just so weighted with heartbreak. I hope they all find each other again in Heaven and all will make sense and healing will take place. Bless these girls.

[@dominewimbury2039]

Aww. Lovely lady

[@nicolad8822]

So many negative comments about mothers leaving their children. You are being very naïve about the social conditions of the time. Women had far less protection against abusive and coercive spouses, they were more financially dependent, there was less understanding of mental health issues. This lady’s mother must have been born in the early 1900s, she may herself have had a difficult childhood, just look at how many children’s homes and workhouses there were back then.

[@laurencarleton236]

Lovely story, but why didn't she go back for her girls? I imagine Jean had to feel a hurt by that on some level. Broke my heart.

[@reneelemaster3290]

If the father took the kids out of the country, their mother may not have had the means to follow. Times were hard if you were poor in the 20s and 30s.

[@5Bip]

Divorce was a great shame in many peoples lives and a fact we have thankfully forgotten. In those days married women did not work so no source of income to look after children. Women who were divorced had few options in those days. New partners and their families often expected no embarrassing children from previous marriages to bring up. As a result many children were left with their father or put in a childrens home. The later was the fate of my grandmother. So glad to hear that the excuses told to hide the shame felt in those days have been swept aside and family has been reunited.

[@yaziyaz3085]

Where complete show, what happened to reunion we need second part

[@oliverholdup2722]

Jean is my partner’s grandmother. They met on the program (not shown in this video), and They’re coming to meet the rest of the family in November x

[@makeitmakesense2616]

This comment made me laugh. I'm over here crying sad, rethinking my entire Saturday. Like for real, where's the damn reunion, half ass episode

[@jydeinden]

I cant believe that any mother would leave a child behind

[@yellowwoodstraveler]

Horrible things were done to families at that time. Mothers and children were separated against their will. Unless more information comes out I would reserve judgement.

[@TaurusMoon-hu3pd]

No internet, no rights for women. Resist looking through a modern lens.

[@SheenaAnnBrown]

You don't know the circumstances. She said she didn't believe her father. Back then, all sorts of things would happen in the home, to women, and legally, the woman could do nothing. For instance, my friend was beaten over the head with an iron, and the police couldn't interfere as it was classed as a domestic event. Nothing protected women back then. My friend had to leave her son behind and escape. She didn't have any income to support her son, but she knew her husband wouldn't harm him. It was safer to leave him with his father than take him to walk the streets. Thankfully, she managed to get a divorce from him, after 'gentle persuasion' to him, from a couple of male relatives, and she went on to marry someone who doted on her. Her son grew up and at first resented her, but realised what had happened and they both have a proper mum/son relationship. Please, don't judge what you don't know. Times were a lot different back then than they are now, and women were merely 'property' of the men they married.

[@FreeSpiritinLightandLove]

@@SheenaAnnBrownThank you for sharing (for some of us providing a reminder) this information. So true.

[@sophiaelliott8033]

A beautiful soul 🤍

[@LBurger71]

Where is the rest of the story??

[@micheller7442]

Is there a suite to this episode?

[@megpaul6099]

Why did her mother leave her? We're told that her mother had a lovely "second" life, but what about Jean's life? How did she grow up after her mother dumped her?!

[@carolinesaintdenis]

Did Jean's father remarry?

[@BernardProfitendieu]

why do these shows always ignore the father? he is shown on the family tree dismissively as "Man," yet he had a relationship with her mother long enough to produce two children. She might have living family on her paternal side of the family, too. There might be someone there that has answers, or a different perspective as to why Jean and her sister were abandoned. Such a detailed cover story to tell a young child - somebody put a lot of thought into those details, I wonder why?

[@chrissyrocco796]

Jean is just beautiful, what a lovely woman.

[@grumpyoldlady_rants]

But why did her father lie to her about her mother?

[@qui_etes_vous]

No.

[@anovemberstar]

Is it RRALLY "good" to find these things out? I suppose only those in.the situation can determine that. I don't think I'd like to know, personally

[@victoriakay2136]

You can’t assume anything about their lives especially during a horrific war situation. Lots of people were separated. Good for Jean she has found family.

[@ChristineInNornia]

Jean❤️‍🩹

[@Tttttttttttttttyyyyyyyyy]

I want to see DOCTOR WHO

[@angelabritten48]

So her father lied to her, makes you wonder what sort of husband he was. I know in those days mothers had no rights. So if she was being abused, she may have had to run for her life. 🤔 bit annoying not knowing the whole story. Her mother may even have had friends keeping an eye on her daughters, gosh so many ????? 😅