Watching MY GIRL with Ask a Mortician

[@DamnWhoAsked]

When the world needed her most, she has returned.

[@frankiefranklin9761]

Yaaaas ATLA reference

[@tinas_hotdog_sophie]

with the best vid idea

[@breakeverychain7]

Our prayers have been answered

[@kaycep6819]

I felt the same

[@angelaneethling7008]

Amen to that!!!

[@pulpted9937]

I texted my best friend “my mortician told me to tell you I love you” and now I’m receiving multiple wellness checks lol

[@rroes7319]

That's mean! 🤣🤣🤣

[@HotTakeAndy]

Whoops

[@JennaVago]

I’m dying🤣

[@Wistful77]

That's why I didn't do it. 😂

[@grrrlykat9]

It makes you sound rich, that you have a personal mortician on standby.

[@MichiHarp212]

"He can't see without his glasses" traumatized me enough that I made sure my mom brought my dad's glasses for his funeral after he died a few months ago. He needed to look like my dad.

[@eileenmcdonald1599]

I made a big deal about picking out the suit. Shirt and tie. As well as the hankerchief. And tie clip. And the shoes and socks. Mortician.. Did put everything on I wanted. No questions asked.

[@1rage17]

I’m glad my dad wanted to be cremated.. I don’t think I could handle a whole funeral, picking his last outfit.. my dad was a free spirit anyways he didn’t want to be stuck in the dirt he wanted to be anywhere and everywhere.I miss u papa

[@MichiHarp212]

@@1rage17 We did actually cremate my dad, per his wishes, but had a visitation and service first so we still had to go through the whole process. It was rough.

[@alexl.9602]

@Brittney Harper, You're stronger than I. I couldn't bare to say two goodbyes like that. Couldn't even with my dog. But I do feel a sense of something was forgotten or missing(besides then of course). Do you feel you got more closure doing a viewing before cremation? I'm sorry if that's too personal of a question! I just wonder if maybe that's what I'm missing.

[@MichiHarp212]

@@alexl.9602 It's not too personal at all. My dad was a social butterfly and did a lot in his life. My brother, in particular, felt it was necessary to let people come say goodbye to him and celebrate him in a way that honored who he was as a man. Nobody in the family participated in a viewing right before the cremation so we said our private goodbyes after the service and then left for the wake and got his remains back after everything was done. He had a stroke about 6 weeks before he passed with a pretty unsuccessful attempt at recovery before bilateral pulmonary embolisms took his life. His final day was pretty traumatizing because of all the medical interventions that were tried at the behest of my mother. The funeral home did a beautiful job of making him look at peace and I do think it helps that my final memory of his face wasn't as traumatic as his final night alive.

[@amandaj1367]

One of my best friends died in first grade and my mother refused to let me go to his funeral. I never got over that. So parents, don't lie to your kids about death. They won't forget, even 30 years later.

[@Naixatloz]

On the last weekend of eighth grade, my class went on a camping trip. We got home on Sunday, and my best friend came off the bus to the news that her dad had died. And that was my first real encounter with death. at least that I was old enough to understand or care about. It had happened around the time we were on the ride home. The moment he died, we were probably telling jokes or talking about music like normal teenage girls, none the wiser, and something about that just really fucked with me. My friend and her mom said I could go to the funeral, and I wanted to, but my mom wouldn't let me, and no, I haven't forgotten it.

[@brendar9363]

@14 my best friend ended his life while I was hospitalized having an appendectomy. I couldn't go and I have carried that guilt for my lifetime. Sorry we have a similar grief bond.

[@privard89]

My best friend's mom (who was basically my second mom) died when we were fourteen. My mom told me I couldn't go to the funeral and that she would want me to be in school instead. My mom is a wonderful woman but I still am deeply saddened that I wasn't there. I should have been there.

[@CatalinaFOIA]

😢 I'm so sorry. My daughter attended her 1st funeral with me at the of 6. I always try to normalize very real tough subjects. Age appropriate of course.

[@jamalbrown2770]

The exact same thing happened to me in second grade. I found out that my best friend committed suicide in what I feel was one of the worst ways: watching the evening news.😢 And although I begged to go pay my final respects, everyone said that I was too young. I’ve never forgotten that, and it still hurts me to this day😭😭😭

[@Cunnilinguistics69]

I haven’t seen this movie before but “he can’t see without his glasses” made me break down in tears. When my grandma was sick I started to knit a schal for her because she was always so cold, and when my mum told me she’d passed my first reaction was “she can’t be. I haven’t finished her schal. I’m not done.” Finishing it took almost six years because I couldn’t knit after that, I just kept thinking about how cold she must’ve been whenever I saw a pair of knitting needles. Grief’s weird like that.

[@kme]

Something similar happened to me with my husband's gran - I was working on a tapestry kit she'd given me when I was in the hospital 18 months before she died, and then being there *when* she died... I was in total denial, saying I hadn't finished the tapestry kit yet, she *couldn't* be gone. I'd almost finished it too. It took years before I could even look at it again, but I eventually finished it. Haven't done anything with it yet, but... It's done.

[@torigroves1048]

I also started crying when that happened I gotta finish all the blankets and other things I’m crocheting for people 😓

[@Malakren]

Memento Mori. The best you can do instead of putting it aside is to honor it by finishing it. Embrace death, because she definitely will embrace you sooner or later

[@christineg8151]

I was knitting my grandmother a pair of socks when she passed. They were about 3/4 done, and I not only couldn't bring myself to finish them, I couldn't even bear to take them off the needles so I could reuse the yarn. I ended up sending them to a friend who knits who wore the same size socks, needles and all, so I wouldn't have to look at them anymore.

[@PeachPlastic]

I'm so glad that you managed to finish the scarf eventually! It took me two years before I could open the bag of my grandmother's clothes, and another before I moved one or two of the pieces to my wardrobe. It's an apropos depiction, I think, of how grief very slowly integrates itself into our lives. The loss has never become any less shattering in the last six years, but having held on to some souvenirs is greatly comforting, even though it's painful.

[@scottielise]

"I'm going to go eat some cookies... because I'm not feeling particularly upbeat." I feel like this should be my general out of office email reply.

[@TheVerucAssault]

I just ate cookies. I watched that movie two dozen times when I was a kid. 30 years later and I'm over here bawling not from watching it again, but watching the Mortician watch it again. Ugh.

[@hrfme3667]

Man the glasses scene breaks my heart every time. At my mom's funeral the makeup artist didn't really do a great job. The biggest thing was she was missing her signature red lipstick. She didn't look like herself at all and people were even upset by it. Finally my aunt, my mom's best friend, grabbed some from her car and put it on for her. I totally get her meltdown now.

[@KimberlysCreative]

That last line.."Don't worry about Thomas J, my mother will take care of him" had me bawliing everytime....

[@rachelleticzon7362]

How can Thomas j’s mom be so calm after that line

[@KimberlysCreative]

@rachelleticzon7362 I think she was in some sort of depressive shock over his untimely death. I mean any parent would be, you know? It was a sad situation for his mom, for Vada and for both families.

[@myettechase]

“You don’t get your money back, it’s a funeral home!” had me rolling

[@Fartowski]

😆

[@theangrygamer1008]

Actually you do when they give you the wrong ashes and don't notice for 3 weeks. But I'm sure that only happened to me

[@PetraElliottCreates]

It all goes in the ggggggrrrroouuunnddd

[@azuradawn5683]

@@theangrygamer1008 Omg! I'm so sorry you went through that!

[@ktevans881]

My mom was a beautician in the 70-90's. One of her long-time elderly clients had it written into her will to have my mom do her hair and makeup for her funeral. My mother was so honored; she said it was simultaneously the most emotional and most beautiful thing she has ever done. Feeling my mom's emotions second hand (I was a child) has always stuck with me so strongly and effected the way I view death.

[@Iuxinterior]

that’s seriously so awesome, not only to be trusted with her final appearance for her friends and family but that your mom saw past the “omg someone i know who is dead” and realized what an honor being directly involved in someone’s preparation and burial is

[@ktevans881]

@ᓚᘏᗢ right! I think that was a pivotal moment for me realizing how awesome my mom is - the family expected her to come home an emotional wreck from the expirence, but she was super at peace. She said she was just happy to know that her Henrietta felt beautiful. 😭 I cry just remembering!

[@Critiqu3]

That's so wonderful and touching, thank you for sharing

[@realitysabsolute]

That is so beautiful & awesome. When I was in College for Cosmetology we actually had a day trip to one of our local funeral homes due to this same reason. In our small town many beauticians would be asked by their long time clients to provide services upon their passing. Our instructor showed us the importance of the relationships made while in the industry and the great honor that can come from providing such loving care after ones passing.

[@cathyhunnemeder3064]

THAT makes me cry!

[@OhMJB]

"He can't see without his glasses" hits so much harder as an adult that now has experienced death and grieving. When my grandad past away when I was in college, there was a viewing of the body at the funeral. When I went up to say my goodbyes, all I could think when I looked at him was, "What did they do to his eyebrows? Those aren't Grandaddy's eyebrows." My grandad was known for his huge, bushy, long eyebrows - they were whimsical and so expressive! He'd even been stopped by a photographer in a grocery store who asked to take portraits of him, because they were so striking. But when I was looking down at his body, his brows were trimmed and neat and tidy. After walking away back to my seat, I sat next to my older brother and repeated my thought, "Those aren't Grandaddy's eyebrows." And then we just both started crying. Grief is just so strange and makes you focus on such specific things. Also, not saying the funeral home messed up his eyebrows. Since he'd been declining in health he had been in an assisted living place and they kept his brows and beard trimmed. It just wasn't how we'd known him, not how we remembered him.

[@squidgesaurusrex3974]

I know how you feel there. When my nan died and I was given the chance to see her before she was cremated, they had put a little bit of makeup on her, including a rather shiny lip gloss. I never remembered her wearing much makeup at all, let alone lip gloss, and it's one of the main things I remember from the entire day. It threw me completely and I felt unsettled, but grief does that to you anyway I suppose.

[@amiblueful]

I went to a wake as a child and they actually did put the glasses on the deceased because that's how people knew him.

[@johanvajse8410]

that line made me ugly cry at the theater to the point I had to get up and run to the bathroom. Still to this day I can't hear "Where are his glasses? He can't see without his glasses!" without tearing up.

[@amidthephantomsrose]

I feel the same way about this scene. For me it was my grandma's funeral. It was an open casket and I remember staring at her and thinking she was still alive and just napping. I kept staring at her, thinking that she was still breathing. when the funeral home was done and we're about to close the casket, my aunt flung herself over my grandma's casket and started screaming "don't go mommy! Don't leave me!" And she refused to let go. I remember sitting next to her and trying to comfort her and then the grief got too much and I got pale and began sobbing to the point I couldn't breathe.

[@ladyrepunsel4567]

@@squidgesaurusrex3974 thanks for mentioning this, my mom has not worn any makeup since the 80’s due to religious choice and now I’m worried some funeral home will make her up weird (for reference she is currently battling stage 4 bone cancer so unfortunately it will probably be sooner than later) now I’ll know to mention her preference if my dad decides to go with a funeral route rather than cremation

[@Elishavaaa]

My cousin died in a car crash a few years ago, she was 26, and 9 months pregnant, her baby died too. Seeing the two of them lying in the casket together was heartbreaking. Morticians deserve so much more appreciation.

[@graciousme2258]

So sorry for your loss Elisha

[@Elishavaaa]

@@graciousme2258 Thank you so much

[@JordanS-ww4eu]

I’m so sorry 😢😢😢😢😢

[@laurawillits176]

My husband died in October. We were married when this film came out. Caitlin, thank you for your work. This channel helped me deal with my love's death, with washing and dressing his body, and getting him ready for cremation. When the mortuary people took him away, he was wrapped in a quilt his mother had made him, holding a Winnie the Pooh she'd also made, wearing a shirt i made for him when we were first together, comfy pants, and the socks i knitted for him last Christmas. His sisters were there to help us, both before and after he died. It was a painful time, but strangely holy, if that makes sense. I've got his ashes now, and a whole bunch of little glass bottles, so all his friends that want to do so can have a little bit of him. I'll be sprinkling little dashes of ashes at our favorite parks and other places. Not exactly ordinary funeral rites, but what he and i wanted. Thanks again, Caitlin.

[@GabdeVue]

There is so much loss and love, so much consideration in what you write. I want to be able to do the same for my loved ones. I am so so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing these deeply touching experiences. The idea with the little glass bottles is beautiful. There is so much love.

[@tokiarven]

I lost my partner September 2021, we were/are both fans of Caitlin. I remember thinking about some of her videos while I was going through the grieving process, and you're right, how helpful they are. I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you are getting by as well as you can, I know how hard it can be. It's been over a year for me and I still think of him every day. I carry his ashes in a locket everywhere, alongside a little silver feather charm, as we loved birds and had nicknames for each other surrounding that. Those personal touches, the unusual funeral rites and ways of remembering them...they're so important.

[@Wildflower-xe8sn]

Sorry for your loss and thanks for sharing your beautiful end of life story. Thank you ✌💜

[@kirabirb3365]

I’m so deeply sorry for your loss! All my love to you

[@Khakasa]

🤗🤗😢💕

[@FucU4ever]

Guess what?? Ohio has passed laws for human composting!!

[@vallisdaemonumofficial]

I'M UNBELIEVABLY EXCITED! SO GLAD I'M FROM OHIO

[@Charlotte66666]

Fantastic news!

[@ninalove3044]

So has New York!!!!

[@MorgueVOID]

That's some gross shit

[@typewriters4handz]

Yayaya! So have NY! I'm so happy for your state, I'm hoping for my home state of Maryland to come through as well 🌻

[@janetilmann5305]

When I was told my closest childhood friend had died, the exact words spoken were “she’s gone”. I had no idea what that meant. “Gone? Gone where? I didn’t know she had a trip planned.” That was my thought process. It makes total sense that a person would need to process that kind of information before reacting to it. What a great actress.

[@Songo555]

I had the same reaction to my FIL's passing. My wife picked up the phone and said he's gone. I said gone where, to which hospital? It still rattles me.

[@jensmith4005]

I volunteered for a grief support program for children-teens. We were to always use the word "dead/died so they would understand the permanence of death.

[@catstreat9434]

Sandi Brock is a KZbinr who posts her sheep farming activity. She lost her best friend to suicide. When they told her "Amy's gone" her immediate (concerned) reaction was "Gone where? Let's go get her!" 😞

[@MaternalUnit]

That must have been so hard. As the mother of five-year-old, when my FIL was terminal, I read what Mr. Rogers said about talking to children about death. His most important point was to tell children the truth and not use any euphemisms that will confuse children, who think in literal terms. You must use the word "died."

[@AnnieE2013]

I had the same reaction when my father's mother died. I was 10 (I think), and my parents told me that she'd "passed". I had no idea what that meant....My comment was, "we don't have to let it ruin our weekend." Clearly, I didn't understand the concept of death. I did pick up that my father was upset by my comment but didn't truly get *why* until later. I beat myself up for years over this "thoughtless" comment until I got older and realized that it wasn't my fault. Parents, PLEASE explicitly talk to your kids about death and what it means. Children are stronger than you think - they can take it if the concepts are explained properly and age-appropriately.

[@emilynelson9174]

My fh had a family that lost a toddler to covid. I remained professional and respectful talking to the family, preparing her for layout... but when it came to placing her in the tiny casket, adorned in a fluffy dress with her favorite stuffed animal under her arms, and crayons between her fingesr, alongside some of her art in the casket...I totally lost it. I was relatively new to the industry and I'm sure it won't be the last heartbreaking situation, but over 2 years later, it remains the most outstanding one.

[@carlacook5181]

Oh, so sad.

[@theprousteffect9717]

Anna Chlumsky and Macauley Culkin are so freaking talented. Child actors don't get enough recognition and respect.

[@cyd3716]

Because most of them are not nearly as good as these two

[@blackmumba111]

I was going to say... Generally child actors aren't as good as the two in this film.

[@elisejackson2854]

You are so right.

[@iananderson8363]

I was going to say that as well, especially McCauley.

[@Dr.BitchCraftt]

And I love how they went on to have pretty good acting career. Anna was hilarious and amazing on Veep.

[@anna-katehowell9852]

I have a severe peanut allergy (the kind that can kill you) and showing me My Girl at age 6 is how my genius parents thought was the best way to explain it to me 🤣

[@agent57]

Nooooo

[@grandmasgopnik9642]

Omg that’s like a way more extreme version of when my dad showing me Poseidon the day before we went on a cruise. Never before was a child so glued during a safety briefing. I can’t imagine them being like “THIS IS YOU ON PEANUT 🥜 “

[@petradegroot3578]

Oef😅

[@bsidethebox]

Oh God. Takes me right back to my first solo airline flight (at...12?). Inflight movie for some insane reason was...Outbreak?!?? (Ebola breaks out in multiple places including ON A COMMERCIAL FLIGHT). It...did not help my flight anxiety. 😬

[@tashababyyy]

But did it work? Lol. Because being traumatized seems to be a great idea when it comes to parenting. 😂😂😂

[@robinhazen8034]

At my dad's funeral in 1990, the funeral home didn't have his glasses in time for the first viewing. My little sisters, age 8 and 10, remarked on how he didn't look like himself without his glasses. For the second viewing, he had them (all of the adults scrambled for them!). I was 20 & very impressed by how sensitive the funeral directors were to my little sisters' observations. I've never seen this movie before, but the scene with the glasses hits home!

[@ldb10812]

My dad took me to see this movie, when I was nine. It was the first time I cried in a movie theater. I had to excuse myself to the bathroom, to collect my nine year old self. When the movie was over and we went to lunch, we had our first real conversation about death. It was traumatic and a bonding moment between us. My dad died three years ago, at home on hospice and that conversation played in jy head on a loop. It helped in a weird way.

[@TransistorBased]

Your first time crying in a movie theater sounds considerably better than mine. It was Finding Nemo for me, and for years afterwards I refused to watch the movie and did not even want to think about it

[@dogables]

When I was 9 my brother died and I just remember how weird he looked, like a baby doll. Death is so hard as a child. This movie and the Bridge to Terabitha get me everytime.

[@blanchequizno7306]

Oh, don't even *start* on The Bridge to Terabithia!!! :'{

[@janethollman7894]

I loved my girl

[@forgottencoffee8589]

We were required to read the book for The Bridge to Terabithia for school and it was supposed to be a special "treat" that we got to go watch the movie when it came out as a field trip. Honestly, just compound the trauma. I read the book and I still wasn't prepared :(

[@laralamagadeltuocuore]

How old was he?

[@MsMC-vr1jd]

The Bridge to Terabithia wrecked me. 😭

[@Interitus1]

I remember my friends mom rented this for us thinking it was like a coming of age comedy. After it was over she took us all out for ice cream to lighten the mood

[@FlorSilvestre12]

My mom grew up during the 70s and said that blue eyeshadow was a huge beauty trend during that era. So Shelly was kind of doing the 70s equivalent of putting winged eyeliner on the minister's wife.

[@jacksyoutubechannel4045]

I mean, we wore it in the '90s as part of that 20 year cycle, too. Somehow the 2010s seem to have been mercifully spared its resurgence.

[@gaiaoffline]

Great analogy!

[@FlorSilvestre12]

@CCRider Wow, that's a trend with staying power then.

[@rhov-anion]

@@ccrider4516 Wait, so it was popular in the 1960s, OP said it was big in the 70s, my big sister's bright blue eye shadow is one of my few memories from the 80s, and someone else said this was popular in the 90s??? DID THIS TREND SERIOUSLY LAST FOUR DECADES?

[@EyelinerAce]

@@rhov-anion I still see some old ladies wear blue eyeshadow so maybe it never died off completely

[@andyny29]

My 12 year old neighbor died in an accident when I was a kid. The viewing was open casket. The mortician(s) did an incredible job. She looked like an angel and it’s something I will never forget. 😢

[@dittebakmlle4506]

Telling your child that someone they love has passed away, is so so hard. I had to explain to my daughter that her grandmom (my mom) was terminal and what that meant. Children "jumps" in and out of grief in a way we adults can only be envy of. My daughter was amazing doing the last period of my moms life. She walked around and told people "My grandma is very sick and will die because of it, but it's okay to be sad and cry." As a mom I'm proud of her being able to talk so openly about it.

[@chrismoss9060]

My mother-in-law was dying she was on life support and we were just waiting for them to arrive, and they brought her grandkids to see her, and I sat down and I told nyneve about it and she says will I cry? and I was like yes you probably will.

[@jacobopstad5483]

I really had to think about how to explain to my young autistic son when his aunt died. I wasn't even sure if he knew what I was saying but I wanted to make sure that he understood so that she wouldn't be just a vague, passing memory to him. All I can say at this point is that he seemed to listen

[@capedkat]

You should be proud. You explained this the right way. There is a wrong way as well. I was told in words I haven't yet learned at the time that my dad passed in an accident. My sister who was 2 years older started crying so I started crying. I was very confused why we were plannin an event without my dad there, but everyone was too busy and as always I was sent to play outside. It wasn't an open casket, but my mom told me my dad was in there. And while I was expecting him to come out at any point, no one seemed too bothered by the fact. Imagine my panic when this box was lowered into the ground a few hours later (in my mind it took that long, I'm not sure). I was so pissed I stopped talking to anyone for years. It seriously messed me up.

[@bethanyoneal5789]

I remember losing my grandpa at the age of 7. I had a general concept of death, but I still had a hard time really grasping the situation

[@rebeccaosburn554]

I had to explain to my 5 year old son that his friend, our neighbor, had been murdered. At first I was not going to give the reason why he died. But it became clear he would find out more and I had to explain it or he might not understand it. As an adult, I didn't fully understand it. Explaining death and helping a child through the emotions is so tough and there really isn't any good way to explain it.

[@blackclouds909]

Her yelling that he needs his glasses, murdered my heart and soul. Even now I sob.

[@SeanMcGuire92]

As someone whose first exposure to this movie is this video, I had two reactions: 1) "He can't see without his glasses" is a pop culture reference I now get, and 2) "Thomas Jay will be alright. My mother will take care of him," came out of left field and *destroyed me.* Oh my god. I burst into tears.

[@odangoatama98]

no fr i was like "i didn't even watch the whole movie why am I crying?"

[@minette36]

Right?! What a raw line. I have seen My Girl, once, nearly 2 decades ago (when I was very little), so I didn't remember most of the details. Was still a quick one-two punch to the gut and now im crying. ;n;

[@coffeemynt5289]

#2 hit me so hard, I also burst into tears 😭

[@roguecodes]

Literally same, I’m sitting here crying and I literally saw the scene out of context

[@clairechristy977]

@@odangoatama98 exactly

[@Soilfood365]

Never seen or even heard about this movie before. When Vada cries "Where are his glasses? He can't see without his glasses!" I started crying. I should definitely watch this film in full. While thoroughly hydrated, for safety purposes.

[@sharonviksen788]

My daughter lost her friend at the age of 3 or 4 to cancer. It was hard because at that age she didn’t have a clue what I was talking about. During the funeral she looked down the aisle and asked if that was Jessica. I told her yes. She asked if she could get up and go play now 😢. People turned and looked at her and smiled.

[@proudcynophile1901]

🛐😢💔

[@infamouschipmunk5327]

The “he can’t see without his glasses” line will never not make me break down in tears. Even just watching this clip had me tearing up. I grew up with this movie too. I’m glad you did this reaction video. I haven’t seen this movie in probably 15 years. I think I want to revisit it.

[@oiNander]

Same. Good morning fellow old person 😂

[@NoDecaf7]

Just thinking about the scene by reading the line makes me tear up and my heart ache.

[@c.w.8200]

Same, I had it on VHS and it was one of my essential movies I kept rewatching, yes I'm old 😭

[@___Steinn___]

This is the worst and best part of this movie. I cry every time...

[@lucianabarretodealmeida5620]

Same. I was 22 years old when the movie was released, and had lose a friend 2 years before. He needed glasses too, and this scene break me every time.

[@mime514]

25:15 ”Thomas j will be alright, my mother will take care of him" That phrase SINGLE HANDEDLY helped me beat my record for crying, the moment Veda finished saying this I was IN TEARS. Seriously, this was gut wrenching

[@fishtank39]

it got me this time. i wibbled a bit at vada's reaction to thomas jay's death, but thaaaat hit me hard

[@thehorriblebright]

Same. Was not prepared.

[@dorkydragon]

Same. every time i see her head tilts that tiny bit and her look on her face. i cry. bawl my eyes out so much.

[@jaceyrogers5244]

I always cry during this movie but this was the first time that part got me.

[@jeanettevandiver945]

My best friend died when we were 5-years-old by being strangled in a lawn chair. Just suddenly she was gone. The adults talked about her funeral, then told me I couldn't go to the service. I begged them to let me go see her one more time, but I was forbidden. That left a huge hole in my heart and a longing I didn't understand.

[@tracymckelvey8183]

When my grandmother died, I was upset that she didn't have her eyebrows penciled in. She always had her makeup done. Also, it was late October when she died and at the cemetery my aunt was crying uncontrollably that my grandmother would be so cold without a jacket...I think the scene regarding the glasses was very realistic.

[@LooseyGoosey-ws1vb]

I remember watching this as a kid and then again in my adulthood, Veda’s face when she finds out what happened to Thomas Jay is absolutely haunting. When my son passed away due to a stillbirth pregnancy I didn’t cry or wail once, I was just silent and in absolute horror. I had a meltdown later at the funeral, a lot like Veda 🥺 love this movie.

[@Sixthedragon0720]

I’m sorry for your loss 😢

[@petradegroot3578]

❤

[@LawNerdAmber]

Wrapping you in love. That experience is one many will never know, I've experienced it too.

[@manyrainbows]

When my daughter was stillborn (13, almost 14 years ago), I vaguely remember me shouting "NO!" and asking if it was my fault, if something I did could have caused it. I remember going out to my car and calling my husband to tell him he needs to find a babysitter for the kids, and trying not to cry, but he asked what was wrong and I broke down. And I remember sitting in the hospital room, waiting for the pitocin to do its thing, nd i was just sitting, staring, totally dissociated from everything around me.. the numbness had set in and I just tried to mentally be anywhere but there. On the other hand, when my husband passed earlier this year, I was totally calm. He had been sick, we knew the end was near. I woke up and went to check on him, he was very still, and cold, no pulse. I called the hospice line and they sent someone out (took an hour). She then confirmed death and I had to figure out what funeral home I wanted, and call them. and it was a couple of hours before they could get out there to collect the body. In the meantime I woke my teens and told them, they came to say their goodbyes to their father. I cried some later that day, especially calling his friends. But at the memorial service almost 2 weeks later? i SOBBED. i just BROKE. It put Veda's meltdown to shame.

[@Deadman7600.]

@@manyrainbows I’m sorry for your losses.

[@iamwindchakra]

Anna Chlumsky's acting when Dad broke the news was so spot on. When my Mother called to tell me my nephew died in a housefire, that was my exact reaction. I had a house full of kids (mine, and my sister's) and I couldn't break down screaming and crying even if I wanted to. Watching it as an adult, I am blown away.

[@edsayshey3314]

I remember being told that my grandma had died unexpectedly and it was my first experience of death. I remember the only thing I could do was just to say “oh…ok” and just go sit down and stare blankly at the wall. I only started to begin to feel any sort of recognisable emotion about 10 hours later

[@mylovesongs2429]

@@edsayshey3314 I did the same thing when I lost my father to suicide. I just went into my room and sat on my bed in shock.

[@GhostGoth_Emma]

Yeah that scene really did blow me away, she really did a great job in trying to convey how kids or early teens take in death. I was 5 when I encountered my first family death. Yeah you just don't understand that you'll never see that person alive again. Then it just sinks in. It's a hard thing to live through, but to act it honestly, she did a fantastic job

[@Ana-tj5fm]

@@mylovesongs2429 me too. i couldn’t believe it was real

[@jessicadangerfield1539]

I didn’t immediately breakdown when I learned my grandmother was dead. I knew it was coming, but I still went numb & did the impression of a goldfish… I was relieved she was no longer suffering, unsure if I was glad or upset I hadn’t been by her bedside when it finally happened, nervous about what would happen next-ran the whole gamut before the sadness & tears made their appearance. This moment where she doesn’t immediately respond with tears hits differently as an adult who now has an instance where she remembers this moment & reaction of everything but tears.

[@musicfeedsyoursoul8070]

I think the “ crying immediately upon hearing the news” in movies is more accurate when it’s an expected death. At least in my experience, when it’s expected I’ve gone straight into the crying phase at the news. But when I got the news that my best friend had unexpectedly died, I just kept staring in shock and repeatedly saying “what the crap?”. I was completely devastated, but it was like it couldn’t even process what was happening so the tears didn’t come. Now I cry for her all the time, just writing this comment is making me cry, I miss her so much.

[@snackbarqueen]

I know exactly what you mean, I recently lost my mom unexpectedly and my daughter was the one who told me.. all I could do was say " No ! No ! No ! " over and over again.. instant denial, I was in such shock that I didn't cry until I saw her with my own eyes.. it still somewhat doesn't feel real, it's been 2 months and I still pick up my phone to text her almost every day 💔😞

[@yungdracula1068]

When I found out my best friend died, I went on a thirty minute long drive down random roads before pulling over in a random neighborhood and screaming "what the fuck" as loud as I could over and over for like three straight minutes. I don't remember the drive there or where I was. I was just in shock and absolutely horrified at how he'd died. I wish it had been some dramatic, hollywood-esque sobbing. Instead I probably traumatized the construction workers down the street forever.

[@valbea9958]

Agreed. My only, personal, experience with death was when my grandpa passed away when I was 11. He had been in the hospital for about 2 months at that point, it was at the stage where it could be any day. I was just in the living room, dancing and doing my whole 11yr old thing when my dad (not related to my grandpa) came out and said he needed to talk to him. I literally remember the first thing I asked him was, "Is he dead yet?" (Crude translation of Spanish, my grandpa was my favourite person). He tried to be roundabout about it, but once he finally told me I just remember sobbing and telling him that he was lying. We didn't get to see him (I live in Canada and couldn't go back to Peru due to being between visas). It stuck w/ me a lot tbh

[@TehBuggy]

I found out my friend passed away right before going to work (a chef at the time). I hadn’t reacted much and it didn’t really hit me until I accidentally burned the gravy, and the other cook asked if I needed a hand. I remember blurting out “I burned the gravy and my friend died this morning!” and finally bursting into tears. Grief is just weird sometimes.

[@Aabrooke.]

Caitlin: my best friend died a year ago, I found your channel a month after. You helped me like no one else did. The mortician told them to them to tell them they were my best friend. I did.. and do. Thank you a million times over

[@lediona3996]

I found her a month after my mom died and felt the same way. Caitlin really helped me grieve. Lots of love to you and I'm so sorry for your loss.

[@minette36]

My best friend died last august. I'm so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing

[@alaeniasharpe8881]

I'm so sorry for your loses A. Brooke, Lediona, Minette.... And so many others here. Please take it one day at a time, and please remember them in the pictures, not the casket - words given to me casket side of my own friend by his father.

[@jimmysgirl1029]

My daughter’s best friend died in a car accident when they were 12. Telling her was the most gut wrenching thing I’ve ever had to do. And yes her life changed forever. I was slapped by the reality of it every morning for months. It still haunts me 10+ years later. I couldn’t watch this movie after that happened. But watching the movie again this way was easier and it even made me smile and laugh several times. ❤ And yes I was also a teary mess. 😢

[@jessicadangerfield1539]

I don’t remember being able to watch this movie since my grandmother died when I was 11. (I think for a time I even forgot it existed because it just hits too close to home.) My grandmother’s death wasn’t my first encounter with death but it was the first I was really old enough to remember every step of the process with, the first time I had to actively participate in the hard discussions & decisions surrounding what came next even if I wasn’t always listened to. At times my own grief was put on hold so I could support my dad since I already knew what it was like to lose a mother & didn’t want to add to his pain. All my best wishes to you & your daughter.

[@laurielyddy4890]

My daughter had a friend from elementary school who died when he was 15 pushing his brother out of the way of a drunk driver. As adults we are used to pain and death in some ways anyways. Got to tell you when I had to talk to my daughter about her friend dying my understanding of the mourning process got much better because you have to help your kids learn to mourn their friend as well as teaching them that death isn't something you should fear every minute of your life and how most of the time it is a natural process. One of the harder things I've had to do as a parent

[@lillianward2810]

That’s the worst.

[@BornNoU]

I remember the way my heart broke when I watched this movie, but I forgot that it wasn’t the death but the funeral scene that killed me. “He was gonna be an acrobat” anddd I’m sobbing again

[@zprouk3091]

I've never seen the movie, but I've seen the "his glasses, he can't see without his glasses" in random clips, so I was prepared for that. And then she hit me with "he was going to be an acrobat" and now I'm ugly crying. Let¨s just appreciate what a strange yet perfect choice that is, though. Wouldn't work with "doctor". Wouldn't work with "singer". Wouldn't work with "firefighter" or "football player" or literally any other standard aspirational profession for lil kids. ACROBAT. Goddamn it movie stab me in the heart why don't you

[@NickRoman]

@@zprouk3091 , How dare you have not seen this movie. It's a good movie. Watch.

[@wendimiller8915]

YES! I started crying (and I’m at work!)

[@Natthealleycat]

The, “He can’t see without his glasses line” always made me go “Huh?” Until my mom passed. I talked to her like she was still here before they took her to the funeral home. Grief makes you do things you never thought you would.

[@gggthsb]

I cry everytime when My Girl is as much as mentioned. It's not Thomas J dying necessarily, although very sad. But it's Vada's reaction and her breaking down at the funeral. Anna Chlumsky just gave an incredible performance all through the movie, it is really astounding given her age at the time.

[@Naturegirl1976]

It's also hee debut acting gig. She totally bailed it

[@sillygoosegoose]

i can’t believe you didn’t talk about the whole vada starting her period storyline. “don’t come back for five to seven days” is a phrase that lives in my mind rent free

[@jj-if6it]

hahaha

[@SaxyLament]

Right? That was a huge turn in Vada and Shelly's relationship.

[@kassieguffy8853]

I say it everytime I have my period. Bahaha.

[@bohemianvegan]

My own mother didn't know about her period when she started at almost 12 years old, on New Year's Day 1961. She woke up with her pajamas soaked and my grandmother (b. 1916) just cleaned her up and gave her a pad to wear, and that was it. No explanation given.

[@jj-if6it]

@@bohemianvegan oh dear, she would have been confused. She should have said something haha. My mum and grandma would have been almost the exact same age

[@meaghanorlinski8464]

My dad just died at home and I was able to be there holding his hand and helped the funeral home with his body. I was able to do all of this thanks to how you've taught me death positivity. Thank you so much for all you do. ❤❤❤

[@bridgetmadden5716]

Thanks to this channel, I was the only person who'd had the tough conversations with my mum and i was the only one who had that info when she passed. I'm so sorry to hear about your dad xxx

[@DarkPrincessAly]

If you want to react to another movie surrounding death that will leave you in a weird mood, Miyazaki's Grave of the Fireflies is always a classic. Plus, you get an opportunity to talk about death in Japanese culture, which would probably be a fun research journey for you! And you get to judge animated corpses.

[@flayful]

+1 ❤

[@nataliebyers1052]

Yes please do!!

[@michellearamis]

My Girl and All Dogs Go To Heaven are two movies that can make me bawl just REMEMBERING watching them.

[@sarahrobinson3423]

Facts. I cried so much as a child. Even now.

[@openlybookish]

Same. 😭

[@FreonUWP]

Touch that clock, and you can never go back! He'll be back ;-)

[@happilyeverafterhanna]

😢there’s an equally if not sadder sequel to all dogs do to heaven & it had be balling!

[@GhoulishTeatime]

What gets me is even the actor playing Charlie was crying at the end The little girl in all dogs go to heaven was murdered by her father right before he had to do that scene telling her goodbye

[@mcrchickenluvr]

It doesn’t matter how many times I’ve seen this film, I sob like a baby. It shows that kids Vada’s age understand more than we adults realize.

[@rightsarentpolitical]

Oh my, yes. I cried just watching Caitlin watch it.

[@drunkensquirrel7545]

Damn. I feel like the only person alive during the '90s who did not see this film - I was in my 20s & I do remember the 60s & 70s nostalgia though. OK, seeing this is now on my To Do List. I was Goth - before Goth was a thing - and I did want my own hearse during the 80s. Some of my family were small town morticians. Maybe that counts for something? 🤔 😉

[@teijaflink2226]

Right the movie is heartbreaking but so good, right now I'm just amazed what an amazing actress the little girl is.

[@aazhie]

@DrunkenSquirrel ha ha, I didn't see it either, but I have probably seen so many clips of it, that I may as well have seen it entirely. Just never in the proper order!

[@susanjanehayden]

So true, your observation about reaction to loss, grief. When my dad’s first wife died he fought with the ambulance drivers because they covered her face with a blanket. “She can’t breath if you smother her!” came to mind as the actress screams “Where are his glasses he can’t see he’s going to be …”. Yep. There’s a piece of our consciousness that cannot accept the absence of someone in our continuance.

[@hew2356]

It also reminded me of the similar heart-breaking line from "Rebel Without A Cause" after Plato's death: "He's always cold....:" Our nurturing instincts don't give up easily when faced with the loss of someone we care about.

[@GhoulishTeatime]

When my grandma died i got in a fight with the docters and hit them as a child I was so angry Like shes clearly not ok Your lying Your lying to me and my family, How DARE you Type vibes

[@jessicapatton2688]

It was awful when I had to tell my daughter her dad died. I waited till we were surrounded by loved ones. I just looked at her sleeping knowing once she found out her world would never be the same😢 I couldn’t watch this without bawling my eyes out.

[@LeeannG]

I saw an interview with the adult Anna Chumsky and she said that during the funeral scene they told her to pretend that her mom died and that’s what she did. She also said that she doubted she would have been able to do it as an adult actress because as a kid, it was more simple inside her head, or something like that.

[@flowerboy4269]

I don't think there will ever come a day where I don't just cry uncontrollably at the funeral scene. I swear, every time it's like instant tears.

[@ashley-anne7043]

I literally can't even talk about this movie without crying. Actually can't say words without getting choked up

[@MrsBrit1]

The face Veda makes when she finds out about Thomas J is pretty much the face I made when I found out my friend died right after graduation. It took me a few minutes to fully register what my mom told me when she got that call. I think she said "she didn't make it" when I asked if she was OK (we knew earlier that she had been in an accident). I left the kitchen, wandered through the house to the bathroom, where my older sister was cleaning, and blurted out, "she's dead" and she had the instant wailing reaction you mentioned. The moment I said it, she screamed out and cried and I was literally thinking to myself "why is she crying? What happened? What's going on?" She hugged me and I left the bathroom, went into my bedroom, closed the door, laid down on my bed, and then the reality of what I said hit me like a ton of bricks. I realised what I said and who I was talking about because I honestly had no idea what was going on, like my brain just wouldn't let me understand it. The rest of the day was a blur of people coming to wish me a happy graduation and bring gifts and eat food, but finding out I was grieving instead, and I just found different places, both inside and outside the house, to stay away from everyone and cry. I have no idea how anyone else in the house was functioning or how mom held it together while dozens of people stopped by. I cried until I was sure I couldn't make any more tears. 1999 was my Veda face year...I think I wore it a long time. Also, I'll never not cry watching this movie. It's absolutely impossible....I won't even try.

[@murphychurch8251]

Yes, a ton of bricks takes a while to travel when it hits you out of the blue. When my mom called me to tell me that my aunt, her little sister, had committed suicide, I first didn't recognize her voice as she was sobbing and wailing and screaming in a way I never heard of her before. When she repeated her words I didn't understand her because what she said just didn't make sense to me. Third time I kind of took in the words, but processing them took quite a while. After finishing the phone call, I went back to the living room to my housemate and a friend that was visiting. Told them what happened and then I started to shiver uncontrollably because I felt so damn cold and confused when everything started sinking in. My friends made me drink water and wrapped me in a blanket as I apparently was in a state of shock.

[@PRDreams]

Not even close, but my mom died when I was a baby and until the age of 6, I thought my step-mom was my mom. When my father left and she abandoned me and my sister on the steps of a family member's house (her EXACT words were "they are your problem now") I was so confused. What followed was the most insane weekend of my life. The family member read a letter. [Name of lady] mother of [name of three kids] was killed by a drunk driver on [day of the incident]. Problem was that our hyphenated last name had changed because our stepmother was in the process of adopting us. I thought "the two girls names are similar to ours", but that was it. My sister, who was older (I'm also autistic, so I guess that had to do with the time it took me to comprehend it??) ran out of the room we were in and into the bed we were given to sleep in and started sobbing. I went to her because I didn't understand why she was crying, but I wanted to hug her to make her feel better. She broke down even worse and I was clueless, but started crying because she was so sad and I said "tell me what's wrong so I can fix it" and she said, "that lady on the letter is our mom, our oldest sibling is missing, and our mom, the lady? She is dead." I just sat there... suddenly I couldn't cry. I just sat watching her cry. It bothered me for many years after I grew up. I went to therapy and my therapist asked the million dollar question: had anyone ever explained to you what dead meant? Was that the first time you encountered that word. Yes. It was. I cried that day like a child. I just didn't know what death was.

[@KellyLenior]

@PRDreams Wow. You deserved 1000x better than the behavior of the adults you were encountering... ❤️ (Also: your writing reads like a good book, I was hooked for a moment!)

[@MrsBrit1]

That is just heartbreaking. I'm sorry you went through such a huge loss and life upheaval with no real understanding of what was even happening. That must have been so difficult.

[@GrumpySheepGaming]

My 2 friends (one of whom was a cousin through marriage) died in a car crash on a morning we were all supposed to go to work together. I wasn't feeling well so I told them to go without me. I got woken up 2 hours later to my friend (one of their boyfriends at the time) saying "she's dead, oh my god, Taylor is dead. And Chey was airlifted to the hospital" my legit response was, "you're joking" as if someone would joke about that kind of thing with such sincerity. I'm still not sure what the hardest part of all that was, realizing they were gone after speaking to them hours before, or realizing that I was supposed to be in the car with them. It's been 6 years, and I still feel guilty that I called out but they went in. (It wasn't bad weather, just a horrible accident)

[@rebeccaosburn554]

I will never forget seeing this in the theater with my grandma. She cried so loud. She wore blue mascara and had streaks down her face. I was pretty young.

[@lindsaybear722]

I was equally traumatized by Vaeda getting her period and telling her father she was dying because she had no clue about periods as I was by the “He can’t see without his glasses!” part.

[@cholieandresa]

“He can’t see without his glasses” that the line, I loose it ever time.

[@ssjup81]

That glasses part is what got me. I do remember the period thing and Vada telling Thomas J. not to visit her in 6-8 days or whatever it was. lol

[@ssjup81]

@@andrewkash7273 This happened to my mother. She had no idea what a period was. She was born in 1956 (so older than Vada's character). She got her period when she was 12. She thought something was wrong with her too. It's a shame that parents don't talk about that stuff, but in Vada's case...I can sorta get why. She was growing up with a single father and that's a topic that's probably difficult for a father to even get on. Good thing Jamie Lee Curtis' character was around. I remember when my mother told my dad I'd had my first period...he was awkward around me because that meant I wasn't a little girl anymore, I guess.

[@roxanne410]

I also didn't know what a period was until I got mine LOOL It was a year or two before most girls got theirs

[@bluegirl278]

@Lindsay Hake Oof yeah that’s why it’s important for kids to know what puberty is preemptively. No need for them to be terrified or panic. I get how he would’ve overlooked talking to her in the movie but this really needs to happen less in real life

[@elph77]

I was 14 when this came out in theatres. My bestfriend and I went to see it. To this day, I can't watch it without crying. Even just watching this video made me cry. That bestfriend took her life 3 1/2 years ago. I will forever think of her when I hear of or watch My Girl.

[@paulakaye2108]

(((Hugs)))

[@thewisceeeggg1624]

😭😭😭

[@Kase3322]

I’m so sorry for your loss. I hope your friend is now at peace. Always keep the good memories of both of you together.

[@elph77]

@@Kase3322 Thank you for your kind words.

[@chrish564]

Lost my best friend 12 years ago and I still talk out loud to her and grieve the 3 am calls.🫂

[@moel135]

Caitlin! You gotta do Bridge to Terabithia next! More childhood trauma movies! Two more things, you forgot to link the other criminally under watched cremation video in the I card and I NEED the link to future Caitlin's hoodie, that is legit the exact order I have my body disposal options written out on Cake. This video was amazing, heartbreaking but amazing, I'm in love with how you pause to interject factual commentary or just notes into the movie (I do that shit so much that they hide the remote from me).

[@azuradawn5683]

If you search on her channel it's called "America's First Cremation Was WILD". (And it has over a million views but imo all of her videos deserve more lol)

[@lh3540]

Last time our city flooded I saw some parents letting their kids play in the creek and no one got my Bridge to Terabithia joke.

[@moel135]

@@lh3540 Big oof... I'd have made the same joke in an instant thou

[@moel135]

@@azuradawn5683 oh yeah, no. As soon as this video finished I went right to that one... the queen says the video doesn't have enough views? I got you, your highness.

[@AdamMansbridge]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/a6HHopJqe6-oiJo America's first cremation was WILD

[@leoramichaldillow]

TW: Murder, Death, Grief I’m 33, my best friend of 20 years was murdered six months ago by her husband. Watching this broke me especially when Caitlin said, “go tell your best friend they’re your best friend.” Because I can’t either. But, the message is good. 💔❤️ I think I blocked the movie out from my childhood. 😅 I hope to show this to my toddler when he is around that age.

[@leoramichaldillow]

@@dirtyfiendswithneedles3111 1. not your trauma, not your business. 2. I worked as a veterinary technician where I assisted in countless euthanasia of companion animals. We always ask if there are kids in the family because it’s healthy for them to learn about death and being there when their pet is passing. We always recommend that any kids be there. Learning about death at a young age in a safe environment actually helps. 3. There are even Thanatology classes and books on the subject. As someone who was accepted into a MS Thanatology program (and turned it down cause I unfortunately can’t afford it), I’m not an expert. But the curriculum had classes on life stages and grief. THN 707: Suicide and Children, Teens, and Young Adults THN 703: Developmental Perspectives in Thanatology: Children, Teens, and Emerging Adults (3 credits) www.amazon.com/Best-Sellers-Children's-Books-on-Death-Dying/zgbs/books/3125 Learning about death at a young age helps develop healthier coping mechanism and grief. ✌🏻

[@snackbarqueen]

I'm so very sorry for your loss 💔😞

[@Chiller-pc1dv]

A childhood friend of mine passed the same way.....

[@Chiller-pc1dv]

@@dirtyfiendswithneedles3111 Wtf, dude?

[@leoramichaldillow]

@@Chiller-pc1dv I am so sorry 💔

[@EleanoraDzen]

I AM SO HAPPY OUR DEATH GURU IS BACK!!! I MISSED YOU!!!

[@HaleyAnneBechler]

The way Anna's face changes as she's processing the news about her friend is actually quite chilling, it's so realistic. I lost my first really close family member around her character's age, and you never forget that feeling you had that first time death hit you that close. Especially if you were this young. Something in you definitely changes after that.. My Girl 2 was just as amazing! 💖

[@ciararyan9370]

😭

[@Richiehawk]

Aww! You're absolutely right and that's so nice of you emphasizing about it on a chilly way too 😁literally i must say you Rock sweetie🙃😊.. So stay happy healthy and safe beautiful friend 🤗

[@jacksyoutubechannel4045]

During The Stinging, I remember imploring the television screen, "Get his Epipen! Veda, get his Epipen!", and promptly starting to cry after my mom explained to me, "Honey, they didn't _have_ Epipens back then." I spent the next year compulsively checking to make sure I knew where my brother's and my Epipens were at all times. My brother and I had just lost a very dear friend -- my brother's best friend -- in a horrible accident, and I was already fearful of losing my brother, too.

[@healthycathy9782]

❤

[@silverishme8675]

Why, after 30 odd years, am I still bawling at these scenes?!! Give the boy his glasses already!!

[@luv2sail66]

This movie was particularly touching for me as I practiced pediatrics for 20 years before my second career as a medical officer at FDA. I can count the number of patients I lost on one hand and have fingers left over. I went to the visitation or celebration of life for each of them. I thought it was important to support the family as best I could during their grief. Losing a child is one of the most difficult losses a person can face. My ex who was a vascular surgeon strongly objected…death was different in her field I guess. However my current wife (now 12 years of happiness together and counting) totally got it. She not only got it, but came along with me to provide support because I was also grieving. In one particular tragic case where a beautiful toddler was struck down by a very rare type of brain tumor, she made 100 paper origami cranes from multicolored papers and put them in a glass jar for the family. We gave it to her parents at the celebration of life and they were very grateful for the gesture. Pediatrics as a specialty is mostly happy times…healthy newborns and kids and illnesses that are treatable with an excellent prognosis. But the rare times that isn’t the case takes a piece of you as well. Even though for each patient I lost, I knew I had done everything I could medically, it was still very difficult to accept. The cry of a mother who has lost her child is something I will never forget.

[@saralee8996]

Thank you for sharing. I'm a pediatric resident and having babies die in my hands while doing CPR was beyond what I expected this specialty entailed. I also believe it's more tragic to lose a child than to lose an adult. It surprises me each time whenever I hear people think otherwise.

[@laraeb2514]

So many years in pediatric health care... "the cry" of a mother who has lost her child is gut wrenching the true sound of heart break.

[@me3333]

I'm glad the world has strong, kind, caring people such as yourselves because I could never do that kind of work. I am not an emotional guy but the cry of a mother that has just lost a child would break me and I'd be a sobbing mess right there with her

[@mozchick2]

This was beautiful to read

[@stormyskyz4251]

I can say you showing your respects at the funerals helped the parents tremendously. When my godson passed away from leukemia at 12, a bunch of the medical staff showed up to the funeral. And maybe not so much in that very moment due to the overwhelming shock and grief, but after everything my best friend had said it meant so much to her. It did to me as well.

[@moredena]

God, even just watching clips and I cried at this movie. Ughghhhggggh. Sort of a weird thing, a few years later in 1997 one of my high school friends was murdered on the day of our first date. I remember going up to his casket at the viewing and basically having a freak out like Veda did because he wasn't smiling. Kind of strange how that reaction is probably not uncommon.

[@moredena]

@Kewliope Jones it was a rough time, the year before one of my best friends had been kidnapped and murdered. So like... I was more than a bit traumatized. It took 20 years to get justice for my high school friend. Still no justice for my middle school friend. 💜🧡

[@PositronWeaponD]

Jamie Lee Curtis did one of those role breakdown videos and the way she talked about this movie was super interesting. What she was told was that it wasn’t intended to be a period piece, but rather, a story about a young girl’s obsession with death. I haven’t seen this entire movie, but it feels like she and the others involved understood the assignment.

[@SublimeLyfeNow]

Telling my 4 year old that his beloved dada was shot several times by a truly evil man when he was walking to his car after teaching a Bible study class was the hardest thing I've ever done and made my grief over the loss of my soul mate paled in comparison to the guttural wailing that come out of my baby when he realized he would never see his daddy again so this episode is quite difficult for me but your approach to explaining this topic is very helpful!

[@amidthephantomsrose]

Thomas Jay's funeral scene with Vada crying over him makes me a sobbing mess every time. It hits me even harder as an adult now, considering how I've seen scenes like this play out in real life at families funerals

[@CMCGDavis]

Even during watching her watch it - I’m a sobbing mess 😭😭😭

[@amidthephantomsrose]

@@CMCGDavis same

[@alisonelliott5117]

It makes me a mess too. My girl, bridge to terebithia, beaches and the cure all do it.

[@harriet2114]

I just got teary AGAIN. That scene.....

[@mzdrizzle]

I uhhhhh got sand in my eye. Yup. 😢😭

[@cooperationiskey]

This movie was the first time I can recall crying over fictional characters, and boy did I cry. And I'm crying again, 30 years later. Oh my god. "He can't see without his glasses!!" still cuts like a knife. 😭

[@Laroling]

Same here, first time I remember bawling my eyes out and just shattering to the floor.

[@OpposingPony]

I like that you said grief is wild. The morning that my grandfather died, I was getting ready for work when i got the call and decided to go ahead and work that day. I got to work and the first people I saw were a coworker of mine with his daughter who was about 3. I told him 'my grandfather died this morning, and I just need to hug a child. If she's OK with it, can I hug Charlotte?' Hugging a child or holding a baby was, according to my mind, what was needed to keep me from breaking down.

[@tiffanyholman4028]

That actually sounds like a really healthy good idea. I'm sorry you lost your grandfather.

[@OpposingPony]

@@tiffanyholman4028 thank you, it was a shock to us all. Something about the very end of life and the very beginning of life is all my mind could make sense out of those actions lol.

[@badateverything5392]

I have been friends with my two best friends for 20 and 16 years respectively. During the lockdown, we started saying "love you, bye" on video calls, and now we just openly say it to each other. Life is too short to not tell the people that you love, that you love them.

[@lysblack]

Caitlin nailed it when she said this movie (in special the 'he can't see without his glasses' line) shaped how a generation sees/handles death. I'm from 89, but this movie was one of the movies that was in constant rotation in the afternoon movie slot of my country's biggest channel (sessão da tarde, for my fellow Brazilians), so I watched it way too many times!

[@rayrayofsun4540]

I’ve never seen this movie but when my mom died we made sure she had her glasses too 😂

[@JigglyCox]

Hi Caitlin, I just wanted to thank you for the work you do. My gran passed in July after a very short battle with cancer. One of the last books she read was "Will my cat eat my eyeballs?" which she thought was brilliant. When she passed I realised I knew more in my 20s than the rest of the family who were 50+. I cared for her in her last few days very intensely, didn't leave her side at all for the last four days. When she passed I was right next to her with her dog. My family had mixed opinions but it was incredibly therapeutic for me to clean her, get her posed, and I brushed her hair and made sure she was ready to go to the funeral home. I took her dog to see her in the home and the home were brilliant, they delivered her casket to the house so we could decorate it and made it up in blue to look like her barge. I had so much more confidence and benefited so much more from the experience because of the knowledge you gave me and I'll be forever grateful. We watched this film when I was little and the devastation is intense.

[@JigglyCox]

They were surprised I even specifically requested to just keep a cloth I'd put under her chin there instead of sewing her jaw - and to pop a pad under her to catch everything, nothing invasive.

[@imabbi8550]

This will get buried and it’s not really relevant to the video but I’ve just started working in a funeral home. Your videos inspired me so much and I wanted to do my part and help. I’ve been watching your videos for years and you’ve really left a positive mark on me. Thank you for your educational videos, awesome humour and amazing books! I’m so excited to see where this journey takes me. Thank you for giving me the courage to aspire to this career ❤

[@tirsden]

Congratulations! I hope you're able to make a positive influence in the industry, or found a place that's already doing that! :D

[@Amphybun]

I'm really happy for you! congratulations 🎊❤️

[@justfeckit]

you HAVE to start a channel called "this will get buried" hahaha

[@michelemclaughlin5864]

@@justfeckit Ha! I’d follow that channel!

[@jimbolic0809]

@@justfeckit YES!!!

[@JadeNut]

I lost a childhood friend around this age too back in the early 1990s. My friend Emily fell from horseback while riding and broke her neck. It was the first time I was ever confronted with death and it was a hard pill to swallow.

[@Maple_Mayhem]

I have never seen or heard of this movie until this video, and the “I can’t see without my glasses” has me crying alone in my room. It has the same impact as Major Hugh’s funeral in Fullmetal Alchemist when his kid was asking why they’re putting dirt on Daddy when he has to go to work tomorrow.

[@nightfall3605]

When the live action movie was announced (don’t see it), I saw someone ask, “Just how many times am I going to have to watch Hughes die?!” Same. Same.

[@sueparras6028]

I always loved this movie, I wish they'd play it more.

[@amberlikely420]

My best friend added away 11 years ago. And I’m so glad I can say that my last words to her were “I love you” because we would call each other every day to say that to one another. As much as I miss her, I’m happy that she knew without a shadow of doubt that she meant the world to me. She was like a sister.

[@trashcameraguy999]

I was 15 when I saw My Girl with friends in the theater. During the Thomas Jay funeral scene, the whole theater, even the tough-guy men and teens were silently weeping (of course) when one person started loudly wailing. ...Like so loud. It was so out there that the whole theater started chuckling. Normally, it would have been really irritating to be brought out of the movie in such a way. But, as it was, that scene was so freakin heavy 😫 that everyone was grateful for the comic relief.

[@monicawilliams1843]

Oh, and my best friend in high school lived above a funeral home which her father (a moritician and the County Coroner) owned. Maybe because my family was all nurses and medical people, living above a corpse shack never phased either of us. She had a sleep-over once and we all got in trouble for crushing the bedding in the display caskets playing musical caskets. Aaahhhh, memories.

[@HideAndGeekGames]

That conversation Vada's dad has with her about Thomas J is all too painfully familiar. It's not easy telling kids a loved one has died. I still remember not understanding when my mom told me my dad died. "Your daddy got really hurt by a bad man and he's gone now." So I thought it was time to go to the hospital to visit him. Cause I thought he was just hurt.

[@jedgrahek1426]

23:30 That concept of "if you grew up with this, that line about his glasses is a fundamental part of your conception of mortality" is really interesting... while I didn't grow up with this movie, it reminds me very strongly of my favorite line in a movie I did grow up watching many times, The Last Unicorn. It's when she is transformed into a human, she (the unicorn main character) is acting utterly horrified and distraught immediately, and one of the first things she says, in a quivering, angry voice, is "I can feel this body dying all around me!" That line has always had a very profound effect on my perspective of being mortal. It's almost too painful and depressing to acknowledge or think about ever.

[@V.Hansen.]

Wow. That’s…. Really something. **emotional damage **

[@AroundTheBlockAgain]

That line really is quite the memento mori for the audience. I didn't watch that movie until I was a teenager - after recognizing and freaking out about my own mortality in my preteens. By that point, it was like "yeah girl, same"

[@rungler]

that was one of my favorite movies growing up too and i never realized how existentially devastating thar line was. i just thought, "yeah, i would be pretty mad if i was a unicorn and someone fucked that up for me"

[@squirrelwithaflute8512]

I recently re bought that movie as I remembered watching it over and over as a child, I'm nearly 40 now and can still remember the affect it had on me then

[@clogs4956]

What stuck with me was that the unicorn’s experience of both love and death while in a human form denied her the possibility of rejoining the unicorns she rescues and they ignore her! She is no longer proud, indifferent and immortal; she has been humbled, involved in real life and gained a soul. It’s a poignant and intelligent moment.

[@jj-if6it]

I feel like My Girl is one of the few movies/tv shows to depict funeral homes in a normal and not scary way

[@HotTakeAndy]

Six Feet Under did too

[@christhornycroft3686]

This is one of my favourite movies and I'm a guy. I had a huge crush on Anna Chlumsky growing up and looking back, we were really robbed of her acting talent over the years. I understand she's in a TV series called VEEP now, but I wish she'd been in more stuff in the late 90s and early 2000s. As you mentioned, she doesn't overact anything. When she needs to sit there in shock and take in that her best friend is dead, she does that. When she needs to have her emotional outburst at seeing him in a coffin, she's pitch perfect. They couldn't have picked a better young actress and her chemistry with Macauley Culkin is off the charts. Every time I watch this movie, it's like I'm watching it for the first time. I don't care what anyone says. The late 80s and early 90s were the best era for these kinds of movies. Now, if a movie is rated PG, I'm almost heading for the hills. It's usually another damn kids movie designed to make people dumber. With these movies, I'm never thinking about what the movie is rated or who the audience is. The sequel, My Girl 2, is worth seeing as well. Like any sequel, it's not as good as the original, and no one can replace Culkin as the love interest, but it's interesting seeing Vada search her past and learn about her mom. And that soundtrack. Unbeatable.

[@chelseajupiter2103]

The funeral home my family has used for decades doesn't have a cosmetologist on staff, but they do have a cosmetologist they contract out work to. She used to do hair and makeup out of a beauty salon just down the road from the funeral home. I learned to cut my own hair after I realized she was A) bad at cutting hair and B) using the same kit in both parlors.

[@rondanakamura2655]

Chelsea, I'm sorry you, too, have been a member of the "Stupid Hair of the Month Club". A real sign in a similar vein might give you a laugh. "Swimming pools filled. Septic tanks pumped. NOT same truck."

[@Juliamm77]

A friend of mine also is a stylist on demand for a funeral home. She started because a few of her clients asked for her to do their hair and makeup "one last time" and the funeral director knew a good thing when he saw it.

[@Juliamm77]

I don't know if she uses the same shears, but I do know she knows how to sterilize.

[@holeymcsockpuppet]

Anna Chlumski's dad was one of my chef instructors in culinary school. He changed my life. I wish I could thank him. He did a great job with his kid. I saw her interviewed recently. She's a brilliant and funny woman.

[@lucasRem-ku6eb]

Frank Chlumsky, Anna Chlumsky's father. How did he change your life ?

[@chantyjernica]

I thought I would be safe watching you watching clips of my girl... But the "he can't see without his glasses" got me... It gets me every time

[@SouthCountyGal]

My husband was stung by Yellowjackets at a job site back when we were newly dating. He hadn't known he was allergic to wasp venom; he nearly died. When he came home from the hospital the next day, shaky and grey from head to toe, my roommate suggested we watch a movie together while he rested. She then pulled out her favorite movie ... My Girl. She had forgotten the bee part.

[@thepainteduniverse3648]

I had the opposite reaction at my grandmother’s funeral when I saw she was wearing her glasses - because to me, you don’t sleep in your glasses. It really bothered me, but I was happy to hear years later that my father removed them before they actually buried her.

[@d.leighannbatemon3192]

But she would've never really seen her friend sleeping. You would've likely seen your Grandma sleeping. Kids that age don't sleep during the day typically... I haven't seen the movie, I just have a daughter about that age.

[@thebestwillow]

That look on vada's face when she finds out Thomas j died... that's the precise moment where she realises nothing will ever be the same.

[@mzdrizzle]

Anna acted it so authentically it makes me wonder if something had happened in her young life and she was drawing from experience.

[@mgzeeeb4747]

Spot on. I’ve unfortunately had to see this look on my own children. I can’t ever watch this movie again or anything like it. Was hard enough watching this video 😢

[@thebestwillow]

@@mgzeeeb4747 suspect I've had that look on my own face. Developed an unhealthy attachment to this film as a result.

[@JayThaLibranBae]

I'm crying just watching this reaction. "his glasses! He can't see without his glasses!" Still hits me in the heart to this day.

[@birtarb07]

I haven't seen My Girl prior to watching your video and even though you warned a couple of times about the foreshadowing I am still wailing like a newborn over how amazing the acting/delivery and the writing is for this young girl.

[@CareyHAuthor]

This is the closest I will ever get to seeing this film. When Veda says her mom is gonna take care of Thomas J, I broke. Even just that clip, let the tears flow!

[@pinkyuzu]

Yeah that line hit like a speeding freight train.

[@johanvajse8410]

actually seeing the whole movie, the worst most breaking lines are "where are his glasses? he can't see without his glasses!" I had never ugly cried so much at anything in my life.

[@crystalrowan]

Same here - there are few movies I refused to watch and this is one of them. I'm already a crier when it comes to movies so I've actively avoided this one and that Owen Wilson movie with the dog (Marley and Me, I think). I actually hesitated to even watch this KZbin video, lol. It did make me cry, predictably.

[@johanvajse8410]

@@crystalrowan same - I can't bring myself to watch Causalities of War with Sean Penn and Michael J Fox

[@CinnamonPinch]

Having seen the film as a child, you are making the right choice! It's been probably 30 years since I've seen it and this video brought it all back.

[@bumblebee560]

The way Caitlin looks at the camera and says, "how do you tell your child that their best friend has been killed by a hoard of bees?" had me unexpectedly cracking up. I've never seen this movie and it was making me cry until she got all dramatic about the hoard of bees. It's not funny, it's so sad!

[@blanchequizno7306]

"horde" - "hoard" is something you keep

[@penjameson]

Oh Christ the spelling police are out….

[@mylovesongs2429]

Caitlin has such a great sense of humor that she can bring out the laughter in the most saddest times.

[@robertdeffenbaugh9004]

Being killed by bees reminds me of Ghost Whisperer when that Teen died of an allergic reaction to being stung.

[@octogonSmuggler]

@@robertdeffenbaugh9004 Oh my, I had entirely forgotten about that show. I was in middle school when it was coming out, and I remember watching it on tv for a week solid while sick with the flu.

[@purrplexitty]

I am a 38 year old adult and that funeral scene STILL puts me to tears. Hoooboy.

[@mcarp555]

I was in my 30's when this movie came out. Never saw it. Watching this video reminded me of having to tell my 14-year-old-daughter her grandpa had passed. Now I'm sitting here in a puddle of tears. Thanks, Caitlin!

[@RockyGems]

Everyone always cites "he can't see without his glasses" as the line that got to them, but "Thomas J will be okay, my mother will take care of him" broke me.

[@cannibalisticrequiem]

I was already tearing up when Thomas went to go find Veda's mood ring because I've seen this movie hundreds of times so I knew what was coming. That escalated to audibly sobbing when she was screaming "Where are his glasses??? He can't see without his glasses!", then ugly crying at "He wanted to be an acrobat!" and more sobbing at "Thomas Jay will be alright. My mommy will watch over him!" 🔪🔪 🩷

[@OpalBLeigh]

I can be broken twice apparently. 😭

[@elizabethb7931]

Don't feel bad - my dad is a professional wall guy and painter and he's adamant that hanging wallpaper is one of the most challenging and infuriating things to do. So props for tackling it! Looks fine on the video!

[@shisurvives2635]

I'd rather paint the wall with detailed designs onestly

[@elizabethb7931]

@@shisurvives2635 after a few decades in the industry, my dad has the same opinion

[@frankiefranklin9761]

I thought you were going to say that you have a complicated relationship with painting and decorating 😅🤦

[@MrsJolene-]

The whole video I was looking at it, wondering where I might find it, or how to recreate it. It is lovely! Also better than looking at Veda lose it with the glasses tbh.

[@lavinamontoya8164]

I prefer wallpaper rather than painting. It is uncomplicated, looks much much better than a painted wall and it's not as dirty as painting. When you finish apart from a light cleaning it's done. The painting on the other hand requires a lot of heavy duty cleaning not only with water depending on the type of painting.Too much cleaning work.

[@heatherwinter6616]

Impeccable timing. My dad just passed late Friday night. My sisters & I were his caregivers (hospice was involved). Watching someone literally die & take their last breath isn't something I'd wish on anyone. Thank you for being such a positive voice concerning death.

[@MossyMozart]

@Heather Winter - I am so sorry. It doesn't matter how old you are, when a parent dies, you feel like an orphan.

[@AngelusaNobilis]

It's not easy but when it's finally over and you crawl into bed that first sleep is so peaceful and deep because you know you won't have to wake up and worry anymore.

[@katbailey1334]

I swung into and out of grief when my grandmother died after a lengthy fight with Alzheimer's. I arranged the funeral (at 18) because my mom just shut down and literally couldn't-my then-stepfather took her out for dinner at their favorite restaurant in a (well-meaning but ultimately misguided) attempt to "cheer her up" some 2-3ish days later and while they were gone I was walking down the hallway, slipped on a tile that hadn't been fitted properly, thought "oh good, we won't have to try to guide her around that tile all the time" and just literally fell to the floor legit bawling. It was the first time I'd actually *cried* because I was just in 'gotta get this done' work mode trying to deal with the hospice and fighting the funeral home. I'd like to say it felt freeing, and it DID in a way, I still feel a little guilty and a trifle embarrassed that I just completely lost it like that-even though I understand LOGICALLY it was another stage of my grieving process and totally, totally normal. So though the dinner didn't exactly HELP, I'm kind of glad my mom wasn't around to see that part because I felt like she needed me to be strong ... but that could also be because my toxic af aunt told me (at 8) that I needed to be strong for my mom when their father died, of unrelated but very similar Parkinson's-related dementia. (Please do not tell children they need to be strong. That shit STICKS.)

[@heatherwinter6616]

Thank you all for your kindness. My sisters and I will be having a sleepover at dad's next weekend (2 weeks after his death) to remember him on what would have been his 73rd birthday. We all grieve in our own ways...the 3 of us as sisters & all people in general. We're going to go through photo albums, etc.

[@suzkstein]

In 1991 I was 34 years old and I took my 11 and 7 year old to see this movie having NO idea what it was about. I remember all 3 of us just bawling our eyes out in the theater. I'm STILL traumatized! Saddest movie ever. Great job reviewing it though, Caitlyn.

[@lizmullaney305]

Did the same with my daughters 11 and almost 8 to cheer up the 9 year old whose best friend and lovely sweet boy had just died of bee allergies. As we know it was pre internet and movie trailers never gave away the plot. It was more terrible than I can express. I do absolutely recognize all the amazing talent but there really should have been a head up for parents. It was very real-not fairy godmothers and witches and my kids were going through the real thing in present time.

[@OpalBLeigh]

As a former makeup artist I approve of Caitlyn’s quote “many enter but few will win” 😂 there’s a reason I’m a FORMER makeup artist…

[@tinyrockcrochet]

I am a florist and today I made handmade pink butterflies for funeral arrangements... safe to say it was a rough day for us. Thank you for this💕

[@tinashort9098]

I worked as a CNA for 20 years and was asked many times to come to the funeral home and do my little ladies makeup. They always already had the standard mortuary makeup on, I just added what they wore when they were living. I did my Mama's makeup and nails!! I always enjoyed doing that one last special thing for them!

[@Crocady1]

"Another heavy dose of maple syrup forshadowing. Spread across the pancake of this film." Caitlin Doughty. Another masterpiece from our Lady Headmistress of the Order ❤👏👏👏