We almost broke up 😔 | Cross-Cultural Relationship Struggles

[@mirandacoleman7324]

Best advice I’ve heard is this: “don’t cut off all the branches, but get to the root of the problem so that you can thrive”.

[@celestesobers8697]

Best advice ever.

[@TheLarters]

I love this!

[@k.gordon-j5696]

I can see how safe Emily feels with Josh. When he's around she has this childlikeness about. Like she's his baby, it's beautiful to see.

[@lydiabarber8931]

@@k.gordon-j5696 Yes. Josh has a very lovely personality. He’s quiet, calm & does not boast. He’s a normal man & never lose hope. Emilie must cling to him. There are not many good people around in the World any more. For a young man like him to adopt children & rescue animals, he must be a great kind man. I really wish Emilie could move them across to the UK.where her mum & dad & brother could rally round to help them. Look how long they have been raising family. I just love them.

[@djoy4ly]

Kudos to Josh! The fact that Josh agreed to participate in couple's therapy is a HUGE confirmation of his Love for Emilie! African Black man raised in the village of rural Uganda meets European Emilie raised in urban metropolitan England presents enormous culture/class differences that can either break or make the relationship stronger! Being willing to identify and resolve issues together is at the root of long-lasting loving relationships! Keep your head up, your hearts open, and know that you can both make changes to be happier and at peace in your relationship ! 🇬🇧 +🇺🇬 = ❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@blootea8101]

I was thinking the same thing! Very progressive of Josh (and you too Emilie, given your misgivings) to at least try therapy. good luck!

[@lesrinewhitby4653]

If only he could be more affectionate.

[@omiethamsia9009]

@@lesrinewhitby4653he’s very affectionate (as far as we see on camera)- it seems like communication & external pressures are the biggest problems.

[@lauslora6511]

i agree it is an action of love but it seems (i could be wrong) that it needs more than just love right now :(

[@l.c.3150]

@@lesrinewhitby4653Uganda culture is very different. Western culture has embraced emotions but even then, western males still have difficulty expressing feelings let alone in Uganda. On top, women and males don’t think nor communicate similarly.

[@Getz_T]

Josh he is a man of few words , embrace his personality . People that don't talk a lot tends to do a lot a thinking and internalised their emotions until they have a breakdown. I will pray for you, Josh and children ❤️

[@claire6568]

@@Getz_T I think it is possible to accept someone for who they are but to still want to find someone more suitable without any hard feelings towards the other person. Also how masculine men are across different cultures does come into play. In some cultures it is about stoicism

[@lauslora6511]

its ok to say 'embrace his personality' but some times you need to speak about problems. big serious problems are not ok not to speak about that is past personality issues. that is speak or we will break up put you personality and some times pride aside and speak. i have been in this situation far to many times where the man will not talk (before any people hate me its just what happened to me)

[@cathe8762]

You need to be strong together. Don't let anyone come between you. Most importantly you pray together and be truthful to each other.

[@mayzeetaylee]

Ah, I am so sorry you are going through this, Josh and Emilie. Can I just say, I think most couples would have reached this point a lot sooner than you have-it is a testament to how much you love each other and your connection that you have had so many good years, despite all the massive stresses in your lives, separations and cross cultural differences. The way Josh looks at you Emilie-there is so much love there. I can tell you that therapy will be a massive help-although it might well feel worse before it feels better, as you never know what you are going to uncover...just hold on! Xxxxx

[@carrietate8036]

AMEN!

[@sarahjefferies5618]

My husband and I have been together for 24 years, married 21 years. Whenever we hit a rough patch, I try to have the mindset of "GROWING throught this" vs "going through this". As long as I see growth, compromise, dedication, commitment to moving forward together (in both of us) I consider the bumpy bits growing pains, something we are growing and learning from vs something happening to us. Sometimes a more positive mindset helps! Good luck to the both of you.

[@djoy4ly]

You are so right! Every relationship has Growing Pains and if the two are committed to the success of the union, then everything is working out well for them. Know that you will be OK, regardless. Focus on seeing the best in any situation and being grateful for what you DO have. Change your mind about the things you see and the things you see will change. FORGIVE quickly and make your dominant thoughts about what you Do Want. Speak less about what you Don't Want to happen. You are raising resilient, compassionate children and the world needs more . Sending Love and Light, from Wife of 41 years, mother of 3 sons.❤🤗

[@lauslora6511]

i like this. some times hard to think like this though

[@michellewilliams2260]

I hope it works out for you guys..you guys are always busy, you need to find time for each other... sometimes I feel like you guys are spreading yourselves too thin because apart from the kids, you help with rescue dogs, charitable work helping other Kids and then their is the struggle to adopt the other kids..so it a lot for two people emotionally and financially. Sometimes you've got to be selfish and look after yourselves first and once things get back on track then you can help others.

[@TheLarters]

We absolutely are spreading ourselves too thin, but we are just trying now to get things into a position where they can run without us. We managed this with all the CEDA kids and sending them to boarding & closing the projects we ran. Now, we just want to finish all the building works for the dogs so that the place is prepared, then hire someone to be in charge. The aim truly is to have less on our plate - but it's one of those things where sometimes you have to put more work in first! We definitely don't spend enough time just us though, which is something we are going to try harder to do ❤

[@stephaniegrant]

Totally 💯

[@djsews]

The love between the two of you is so plain to see. You are both very selfless people and have chosen to help so many others. You require Divine intervention for strength and direction. Your Creator knows what’s best for you 💕🙏

[@jennie4383]

You know what Emily, I think all your life you’ve always been a fixer, gravitating towards those who are broken, attempting to clean up messes others have left behind,trying to soothe wounds and fix the damage , it’s just your nature, your generous heart knows has no limits,but it’s time to stop, and think about what’s best for you, sometimes trying to fix things and people can mean that you end up broken yourself , Take stock, trust your instincts ,and take time out to mend your broken pieces ♥️♥️♥️

[@sylvianolan2185]

Well said in a nut shell

[@faithb4236]

You have wise words. They are sweet but they need to be honest with themselves

[@Zonke18]

Is true I think Emily is too much to good and she even forgets that time is not waiting. Emily you and your Son come first and you are in your Country I think is time to think about your self and first! Since I come across your channel is like Emily she's a problem solver of another people's life 😢 I feel sorry for you and your lovely son.

[@chasingrainbowschannel]

I have been going through this same season with my husband. Everything that could go wrong seems to go wrong all at once, health issues, injuries, sick/dying animals, finances...you name it, it seems to be hitting us on all sides! Stress can really take its toll on a relationship, especially when both people process stress and their emotions differently. I'm so glad you found a counselor you like. Praying for you both to walk out of this season of life hand in hand and much stronger because of it. 🙏💜

[@karliejennaa]

A helpful observation to consider is that Josh may not always communicate clearly. Due to English not being his first language, he may need more time to express himself. It appears that Emily tends to interrupt or speak over him, which can be frustrating and may make Josh feel like his contributions are not valued. To improve communication, it is suggested to give Josh the opportunity to finish his thoughts without interruptions. Instead of filling the silence with chatter or opinions, allow him the space to process and speak at his own pace. Avoid interrupting or speaking on his behalf. 🫶

[@andrearobinson6414]

Well said; I was thinking exactly the same. Josh needs the space to complete his thoughts and to express himself without interruption. In an earlier video (years ago) that popped up on my feed, I was pleasantly suprised that Josh was quite chatty in it and had the confidence to speak in English, but with continued interruption, he may have withdrawn a little, in terms of vlog commuincation, lacking the confidence to properly air his opinion. Despite Josh saying that he's not good at English, he would improve massively, if he could only finish his sentence, without being talked over.

[@the_chosen19]

Marriage is like a rollercoaster...you need to try even when it hurts

[@faithb4236]

They are not married . I hope i dint miss this part

[@emily5700-q7z]

Guys the struggle is real and I have sympathy for you both. I could see there was something amiss but God is a good God and He will see you through. Put your trust in Him.

[@mirandacoleman7324]

Every relationship has struggles. Marriage comes when both people are chasing God together and working together. Remember that you are one. A union of two people.

[@brandispry576]

I am super proud of y’all for going to therapy. I promise it will work as long as you both put in 100% effort.

[@irenedavo3768]

They are both doing too much and exhausted!

[@TheLarters]

We are already feeling the benefits, just hope it continues to help!

[@salsaeb5139]

@@TheLartersplease don’t break up for my heart sake😢

[@salsaeb5139]

@@TheLartersplease don’t break up for my heart sake😢

[@agnesgosnell327]

More advice from a random person on the internet: Try learn Josh's language so you can get to know his family on a deeper level. He'll appreciate the effort and you'll be richer for it. I find you guys amazing and love how you do the work of hundreds of people making the world a better place❤

[@19sunheart96]

I agree with the language part, my partner and I have different native languages (we communicate with each other in English mostly) and learning each others mother tongues has really helped us connect with each other and our families. (He speaks my mother tongue much better than other way round because we live in my country, but still I feel the fact that I can understand quite a bit is already quite helpful)

[@ChumLee-wo7hs]

😂😂😂Emilie likes to talk lol..keep on talking Emilie especially if it helps..yes crying is healthy and men need to learn it's ok to cry..

[@bearclaire]

Also people tend to be able to express them selves better in their own language so learning his language will also allowe her to understand him on a dieper level

[@organicafricantechfarmer]

The love between you two is obvious. I believe you two can work it out. All the best

[@madiahug8346]

Oh gosh,why am i getting emotional with you 😢😢, but things get better for you both, i know things hasn't been great lately but hope it gets better, wishing you the best both of you 🙏🙏❤❤

[@sharonhutchinson1574]

You both have been under such hardship and stress for so long .I will pray for you both , it would be so heartbreaking for you and especially for the children . My heart goes out to you both . God bless

[@nataliemurphy8515]

Emilie, this was incredibly brave to put out there. I hope people's negative comments won't be a major decision maker in your relationship. The only people who can make a decision about your future is both of you together. Since moving back to Uganda your life has become incredibly stressful and a world away from your life with Adam in the UK (when I first started watching the channel). It must be so hard, but keep yourself focused to your original goal of getting George, Tallie and James adopted so that you guys can move back to the UK. I don't think I could cope with the number of curveballs you have been hit with recently, but from what I can see from your KZbin its not Josh or the children causing them, its just a crazily stressful few months. Look after yourselves. ❤

[@Being_Bohemian]

One of the wise, kind and helpful comments posted here! I agree with you.

[@mhercey_]

Yes I agree with you. I hope the therapy works well for you both, we don't want you guys to break up.

[@TheLarters]

Thank you - this was really lovely to read ❤️

[@maganomaggie9717]

Thank you for saying it all

[@lydiabarber8931]

Thanks

[@ckjjb745]

Hi You 2 Have Alot Of Responsibility...When You Are Looking After Everyone Else..No Ones Looking After You 2..Please Try And Do More 1&1 Time Together...Josh n Emilie You Got This...❤..#Luck#Blessings#Money#Love#Break#Peace#Tranquility

[@ttee4338]

Emily, I absolutely adore your family with Josh and all the amazing, kind things you both accomplish. My heart goes out to you for everything you have to endure. I struggle to imagine Josh being content and happy in the UK. I think Uganda is in his blood and soul, with all its beauty and struggles-it's his identity. Sometimes I can't help but think that destiny might have other plans for you and Adam back in the UK if you open yourself to it. Best wishes from the UK. xx

[@kendaldee]

Surely lovely this should be about the future of your innocent, dependent boy who loves you. Let Josh think about his future.... and why not return to UK with your son and gain another view of your situation from there. Some people on here have been honest with you and no one wants to hurt you lovely Emily. It is said love has no fear...so why not take your son and go? It is highly possible that you will be have peace of mind if you do. Much love.

[@ritahnamuddu-st5hq]

That's true. The earlier she and Adam returns to UK the better. That's my prayer

[@ritahnamuddu-st5hq]

​@@kendaldeejosh has his own issues to sort. This lady and ad should go back to UK. She cannot take all the African demons. Josh has alot to accomplish and also to pray for himself for God to open up his doors. This lady's future is getting stagnant bse of love.

[@lynda2023]

Wow what about the other 3 innocent children who love emilee as their mother 😢. ❤❤❤❤

[@blootea8101]

@@ritahnamuddu-st5hq and what about her other children? Do they not warrant consideration? Will being in the UK heal all issues?

[@yvie9627]

A man who truly loves you, will never want to see you cry. Hopefully you can overcome this hump 🙏🏿 p.s Josh, you have to propose first 😅 for Emily to agree to marry you.

[@MyDaisy66]

Emilie you have to draw them out. I married a Jamaican. Married almost 40 years. We have two beautiful children. Well spoken and refined. My hubby is still very athletic and gorgeous but not a great talker although he’s got much better. We love each other enough to not break up. Sending positive vibes from London xx

[@kendaldee]

A Jamaican is culturally different to a Ugandan!!

[@MyDaisy66]

@@kendaldee yes also very different from the English culture

[@kendaldee]

@@MyDaisy66not so much....grown in a Jamaican family. Kindest.

[@nadineclarke9423]

Sending massive hugs 😢

[@TheLarters]

Thank you!

[@blootea8101]

Hey Emilie and Josh -- thank you for being transparent and sharing such a difficult video. I teared up a bit watching it, to be honest (sensitive soul, here), but I trust you and Josh to make the best decisions for your family, no matter the outcome. However, some of the comments on this video are really hard to read -- I'm finding a lot of them thoughtless, unfairly critical of Josh, and pretty dismissive of the rest of your Ugandan family. In any case, sorry for the hard times -- here's hoping things get better. The two of you have my full support.

[@Being_Bohemian]

Agree with you! 💜

[@TheLarters]

Thank you - we really appreciate this message ❤️

[@Pitcherella]

You both have been through soo much together, and alot of which is stressful due to adoptions etc and being in a country where everything is soo slow to get the stuff you need sorting , sorted! Its bound to cause issues. As for Josh not talking much, is not even a cultural thing , it's a man thing !! Please dont take it to heart too much. There is one thing i notice in all your videos and that is the love he has for you, we all need a man who looks at us the way Josh looks at you Emilie, plus your body language shows how close you both are. It is easy for an outsider to comment on a few minutes of video , but i am sure you both will be fine, all relationships go through struggles , its natural. Try not to worry too much . Now go and make your man some food 😂. 😉.

[@TheLarters]

❤❤❤

[@Livinglifemodestly]

This makes me so sad to watch. I have been in this exact position with my husband. We are from very different cultures and we just didn’t realise how much it would play a part in our life together, we believed love would overcome everything. However in our day to day life it became harder and harder to resolve our differences. I remember being in this hopeful place, deciding to have counselling, but sadly it wasn’t enough for us. We are separated, but not yet divorced. I really hope and pray it works for you both and the counselling resolves all your issues. You are a beautiful couple. Don’t lose what you have built together. Be patient, be gentle, be loving, above all, be humble. I wish I could go back in time and tell myself the same.

[@nayemanur4301]

My husband and I are from the same culture, but I still so many similarities in our dynamic to yours. He is a man of a few words, and I am more similar to you - sensitive, compassionate, love to communicate, and sometimes fill the silences. It can be frustrating for us because we feel like we are speaking to ourselves and we struggle to communicate through issues. I love him with all my heart and whilst I get annoyed I try to understand the beauty in him being more reflective, quiet and sincere. I wish you both the best :)

[@viviannagawa7043]

Thanx for being open and for not faking it. I am stuck to your videos because you keep it real.

[@TheLarters]

Thank you! ❤️

[@sharonhendrickse6265]

Stay strong...obstacles come and go but it's worth fighting for true love.

[@emilyal6771]

I rarely comment but feel like I have to after reading so many insensitive and harsh comments. Thank you for your candor and honesty in sharing about this difficult chapter you are walking through. As an American happily married to an Ugandan for many years, I sympathize with what you both shared during this video. All relationships take work but cross cultural relationships take even more work. I applaud you both for putting in the effort to fight for your relationship and your beautiful family by going to therapy. Continue to focus on actively listening to one another, be patient with each other, and talk about your expectations for the relationship. I am wishing you and your family well as you work to build upon your strong foundation - the love and respect that you have for one another.

[@TheLarters]

❤❤❤

[@laverne.6130]

It certainly does seem to be "Break-up" season, but I believe you both are meant to be together. Most importantly your peace of mind is crucial. I hope it all works out with therapy. I can imagine the impact it's taking on the children. Do whatever is BEST. ❤

[@traceyswainson7045]

Emilie and Josh, my heart goes out to you. Marriage is so hard, communication is a big one. Men and women communicate differently. Add in culture and children and all the challenges there, wow! I'm so glad you're seeking support with someone who can relate to your situation. Keep sharing with each other and growing through each challenge. I admire you both for the courage and strength to make this work. My husband and I have been together for 29 years, and there have been so many times that we both wondered what we were doing and times when life felt so hard. The one thing that held us together, was knowing how much we loved each other. I wouldn't want to do this life with anyone else. Thank you for sharing with us, it must have been difficult to do. But now, we'll all hold you both in our thoughts and prayers and wish the best outcome for you and your beautiful little family.

[@kimberlyskye2024]

I’m sorry you’re going through this. I feel bad that you’re so far from your other family too. You will be okay either way!

[@em6980]

I’m sorry you are both feeling this way, it’s always good to talk about things. Hope the therapy helps at least you’re both putting in the effort ❤️ sending lots of love

[@sumaiapearl7292]

True love is worth fighting for you guys keep fighting together praying for you

[@carlyanhel3457]

Rooting for your family always ❤️ Maybe it’s something in the air, my husband and I are going through a pretty brutal season of growth ourselves. If you need a friend or an ugly cry companion I’m here for you girl.

[@claireclarkeignite8458]

It is going to work out. We are fighting for all of you. Josh, Emily, Adam, George, Tallie and James. The love of Jesus will anchor your home Josh and Emily

[@AntonellaPassa-y1c]

I’m sorry you guys are going through this. But I think the lack of money, the lack of work is a huge issue. When you and your partner are constantly struggling financially, after so long, it’s natural to give up. Josh seems so sad all the time. It just looks like your struggles is what keeps you guys together. Hopefully it gets better

[@JanieRhodes09]

I recently watched your ‘what we eat in a day’ video from two years ago, and noticed how much happier Josh appears in that video compared to recent videos. It was quite shocking to see actually. Hope you can both find a way to be happier.

[@TheLarters]

We've had a lot more on our plate recently and a lot going wrong, which of course then takes its toll. Really hoping we can just get through this season and onto the next 🤞

[@HeatherFerguson-q1z]

Remember when times are hard to focus on the fact its all temporary, it feels relentless but its all temporary. Relationships are difficult and take work even with out all the additional stresses and worries you've both been faced with. The love you share can get through this and you both are willing and want too to work at it, which say it all ❤ sending love xx

[@sghost6652]

Thinking and praying for you both and your family and relationship. Being in a relationship isn't easy and it takes alot of work on ya self to be able to work as a couple. Life has been very difficult for you both recently and I really do hope and pray it gets easier x

[@TendereizeChannel]

Hello Josh and Emily. I have been watching your channel for some time now. I'm not a relationship expert, but I want to share my experiences. No relationship is perfect. It's important to understand and accommodate each other while working to improve what you can. Often, it's best to trust in God and be patient. Challenges make us stronger, and eventually, you will look back on them and laugh when they are in the past. Overcoming hardships together is what builds a strong, lasting relationship. I wish you all the best in your relationship.

[@anaf9858]

Listen eachother patiently.❤

[@revelationtime7507]

I pray for your union that it is right for you both and Almighty God will preserve it.

[@Phindile21]

I wish I can give you a loooong tight hug. It is well with you and your family my dear sister... God is working on your situation ❤. It will pass. Stay positive...it's okay to cry too, it releases some of your stresses and heavy heart /emotion. I love your relationship.

[@TheLarters]

Thank you! ❤️

[@surahbadmus9573]

Even josh wanted to cry i feel bad for both of them😢😢😢

[@k.gordon-j5696]

Let me say, I love that you both seem like genuine loving persons outside of each other. I admire the wprk you put in and how you pour into each other. I started watching the channel because I was drawn to the way two were together. I may be wrong but I feel there is genuine love there. So much that I've been praying for you guys, that the Lord will set things aright and save your souls.

[@arlenemaxwellcopeland1644]

I see more love here, a warmth coming from Josh, support for his lady! And yes, it is interesting, Josh! I only hope your sharing will make you feel free. Holding in the caca will give you a headache. I used to tell that to my son, a fellow of few words. It would make him laugh because I said caca, but he understood, let out the bad thoughts.

[@sarahmnyandu6622]

Huggs to you both, Emily therapy encompasses your childhood, adult n future self... Helped us loads as a blended family

[@MJLJ2006]

The amount of constant stress and hardship and taking on so much would make almost any relationship strain to the breaking point. Maybe it is time to take stock and reprioritize what is a must and what simply pushes you beyond healthy limits.

[@TheLarters]

Absolutely, but at the same time - the kids we care for etc, we couldn't live with ourselves if we abandoned them. We are desperately trying to simplify things, just sometimes takes a bit longer to get to that point!

[@trudylawrence9689]

May your prayers be answered....may you find comfort and strength in your Faith with the knowledge that God's love surrounds you always ❤❤

[@mahinahathaway]

I am so glad you guys are going to get therapy. relationships are hard work when you both come from the same country/culture. I can’t even imagine how difficult it must be when you have two cultures to contend with. best of luck with the therapy. please know that if you need to stop posting online for the health and well-being of both you two and your relationship, then your followers will understand. best wishes to both of you! and of course your beautiful family ❤

[@phionahnannono7402]

Emily please don't think of leaving Josh. We love put God in your relationship all will be fine. Don't mind about us. Must be only you,Josh and kids. Please God protect your relationship if it's his will

[@ThulisaAtwork-qv9tk]

This video makes me so sad.

[@TheLarters]

We just wanted to be open and honest, but we are working on us ❤

[@1962MissPenny]

If you two broke up, I'd feel so sad for you all, especially the kids. I pray to God that you all are ok. Love from Canada.

[@TheLarters]

We know, it would truly be devastating to all involved. It's why we are doing all we can to make it work ❤

[@ShelbyLynnPoati]

So relatable cross cultural relationships take extra work, lots of hugs hope you find your way❤️😘

[@martasikora3133]

I fell u guys. Am Polish married Ugandan man 16years ago in the Uk - thats the place where we live. At this moment i can c massive differences in culture between us! It’s very hard coz my husband is like Josh not very talkative and not best at showing emotions as well . I hope guys u will work things out !

[@safinanamujju6105]

Hi The Laters 🤗🤗😘 it's so sad and I share my sorrows together with you "Later family " I may sound irresponsible but am medical work and psychology is always one of my pinpoints. It's summer time Emily please first go back to London and get rid of all the depression you jave" the point is *change of the environment * " yes long distance relationship is somehow difficult but its good to give someone space of thinking and self enjoyment. I personally I reside here in Germany and my Boyfriend lives in South Africa so please think about it. You need to change the environment for some time and forget the bad moments focus on working atleast for 2 years as well as Josh .I love you all

[@sophiakiringooba9449]

I feel so emotional about the whole life stories. But try to work on it, Emily, you so so strong, you can make Josh get to know your culture. I struggled a lot when when I came to UK 🇬🇧 . I had to adjust to the culture, norm, and behaviour. I find it hard now to fit in most situational, but I try, although Uganda is my birth country.

[@kcummings501]

Here’s the thing….you two love each other deeply I have always heard that when you get in a relationship that you feel truly safe and loved, all your past « junk » comes up. Just take this as an opportunity to rid the painful junk inside and grow closer together for a strong and beautiful future! Be easy with each other, kind, respectful and loving and I know you will make it❤❤❤❤

[@serious7179]

Cultural differences, even when the couple is from the same country, are a challenge to overcome, let alone from different races and different countries. I hope you guys get everything you need from therapy, continue to stop the flames of love, listen to each other to understand the others point of view and not just to respond, and develop warmth for each other even when it's difficult... I am hoping for your marriage to overcome this and your love to continue to burn brightly❤

[@sarah_g86]

Hi Emilie and Josh. This video made me emotional. You are both very kind, selfless, loving people and are literally made for each other. Sometimes the trials , tribulations and obstacles that we have to face in life are overwhelming and can cause a very heavy dark cloud over everything and everything can seem hazy. But things WILL get better for you both. Its been such a difficult season for you guys with everything you've been going through but you will get through it. Dont give up. Pray together, keep loving one another and know the haze will clear soon, the sun will shine again and all will be well. Just focus on each other, spend some quality time together and remember the reasons why you love each other and all the positives. Praying for you both and sending lots of love and hugz ❤️🙏🏽🫂

[@k.gordon-j5696]

I think Josh really loves you, I also think that he is a manly man, where he wants to be the provider and wants to be able to do things financially that you have to be bearing because he isn't in the position yet to do so... Guys keeep going, real love is worth all the problems you face.

[@claire6568]

I feel like this is just going to keep coming up. I remember a video from a while back where you mentioned that you and Josh thought about breaking up. I feel like maybe it’s the history, or the amount of time money and energy you invested that is holding you back. Plus the pain of loss which is completely understandable. I personally don’t think the communication will change much as I feel like that is how Josh is. I’m not saying it is good or bad but that is his communication style. I also don’t think you talk too much, as a British person myself I’m exactly the same as well as people around me generally. When I watch your videos I sometimes think that as much as I admire your determination you are really going through a lot just to make things “work”. Sometimes letting go is easier than holding on. As a regular viewer of your channel it really broke my heart to see you experience another tragedy with the car situation. To keep going through this is really a lot for anyone. Moreover, I feel if Josh was more communicative then you may feel more supported emotionally as opposed to maybe feeling like he is just sitting back and doesn’t care as much. Again I’m not speaking to whether he cares or not or on what level as I don’t know what happens behind closed doors. I’m just saying than rather than repeating the cycle, perhaps it may be easier to find someone who is a better fit instead of feeling like you talk too much for example. The choice is ultimately yours but I am honestly really feeling for you when I see you crying like this ❤

[@lydiabarber8931]

If Emilie is able to move all the family with her to the UK., it would be better because her mum & dad would also assist them. I see Josh as someone who wound be able to work hard in the UK to sustain the family. Quietness of Josh is his personality. He’s like that . That’s the way he is. He needs an extrovert if partner like Emilie. Work towards moving the family to the UK. Best. Regards.

[@killerloopz4416]

​@@lydiabarber8931he still hasnt got his ID though has he? Its been months and months

[@killerloopz4416]

No hate from me its just frustrating to see you in this state ❤

[@GabiAnneK]

@@killerloopz4416- precisely. I’m not sure he will handle a job in England when he can’t even manage to get a national I.D in Uganda. My husband is Ugandan and it is not a difficult process unless they are hiding something. I’m sorry Emile, I just don’t understand.

[@anja6666]

@@GabiAnneK it’s starting to sound fishy, didn’t know he hasn’t got a national I.D…how is he going to get a Visa, how can he adopt without an I.D.?

[@okaytimeforcookies2328]

Relationships are hard but are worth working at . Wish you all the best ❤

[@helen4231]

Sending love❤ i pray that therapy helps you both and your relationship. You can tell that you both have so much love and respect for each other. All the very best guys xx

[@makinibenjamin6173]

Every relationship have its ups and downs. Glad you've decided to do therapy together. I know you are meant for each other. Those children need their parents. God Bless you'll, everything will work out because I can see the love you share.

[@lydiabarber8931]

Emilie you are a great woman. Both of you love each other & built home together. Great. The best solution is to start working on getting the family to the UK as your parents & brother would be helpful. And Josh would work hard to sustain the family. Josh’s personality is lovely. He’s a calm & quiet man. God will be your helper. Regards.

[@marym.1567]

They are working on getting Josh and all their kids to the UK. It seems it’s a complicated bureaucracy in Uganda. Look how long it took for Adam to be able to go to the UK

[@Emilyanks]

True

[@noeminkemachor5324]

About the culture things,you are a new family and you can decide what you are going to keep in your family as a tradition and leave what is not good and keep what is good for you both. I am 18 years married with a Nigerian,yes sometimes it is hard but,my motto is what God put together,nothing can separate it.

[@amani5298]

Hi Emily thank you for opening up about something so personal. I recently got married to a Palestinian. I’m British living in the UK. We were long distance for 5 years. We got married in December last year and I can totally relate to how you feel! It’s definitely a struggle sometimes between the two cultures. But it’s nothing that can’t be resolved. Keep your chin up , if it’s any consolation you guys definitely are the only ones! Everyone has high and lows and rough times don’t last forever x

[@kareenwatson6084]

Any relationship is tough work even when you are with someone from your own culture.

[@TheLarters]

Yes we know, just adds in a whole other factor too with cross-cultural differences on top!

[@Leaham0]

She literally said that in the video …

[@Emilyanks]

More grace for you guys.most of the things mentioned like cooking, washing,language barrier can be worked upon.

[@ligiaferreira6555]

❤I will be praying for both. You love one another and that is fundamentally the essential root needed for any relationship to blossom no matter what the weather may be like around you. Your circumstances right now are not easy and given the responsibility you have on your shoulders, can and will make it very hard to clearly see the end of the tunnel. Trust God……..HE WILL MAKE A WAY. ❤

[@kirsty4274]

I'm also in a long term relationship (11 years) with kids, not cross cultural though, I'm Scottish and my husband is English. I relate SO much to communication issues - my husband is an under communication (like Josh) and I am a complete over communicator. This has caused endless conflicts over the years, but we do get better (fractionally) as the years go on. We've spoke about therapy in the past when we've been on the verge of re-evaluating our relationship. Unfortunately it's not within our budget now but we've made the conscious decision to fight for us and choose each other. I can't imagine the additional cultural challenges. On top of that, my husband has started to believe that he probably has autism (low support needs) hence his struggles socially and with communication, I also suspect I have ADHD like my brother and this causes my word vomit and emotional disregulation which causes us to start butting heads. It's a tricky combination. I'd also add that having kids adds to the stress 10 fold, then we're a nightmare when there's additional stresses, but when we're good we're great! We've made a conscious effort to work as a team and minimise conflict, I try to reign in my jabber and allow my husband space, and I let my husband know when I really need a verbal response from him. No relationship is perfect and you guys have a lot more on your plate than most. It won't always be so tough. 🤞❤️ Try to get date days when you can (we had our first child free date day in 6 years today 🤦) to try and fill up that relationship piggy bank with good experiences. Wishing you both all the best and well done in going to therapy.

[@thenext8005]

Do u guys together?

[@Every1ShouldSparkle]

This is a tricky one but I do think you have been apart more than together and perhaps the idea/dream is better than the reality. Relationships are hard but it shouldnt be THAT hard. You arrnt married yet and that is harder plus when all kids are legally adopted plus a big move to a country Josh has never been to then financing a very large family and schooling etc. That will be very tough too. I think you need to be very solid for a long time before making a massive move to the UK or adopting the other kids. You also just have too much going on. As much as its painful I would stop taking in animals and take a massive step back from the charity.

[@TheLarters]

We've actually been together more than we've been apart - we've lived together for more than 5 years total, apart for a bit less than 3. I don't think it's that rare that long term relationships go through serious struggles. Marriage/couples counselling exists for a reason - and we sadly are in a very difficult season of our relationship 8 years in. Not being married isn't really a factor, it doesn't make any difference to us. Having children together is a far bigger commitment than a piece of paper saying we're married. We are desperately trying to get the charity to a place so we can step back - we're really getting there with the kids since closing the school project and sending them to boarding, and we hope to also make progress with the dogs too. We also want to focus more time on our family ❤

[@hollykamanda7376]

My husband and I have been going through it as well, so I totally get it. We are also mixed race couple, he is first generation American who lived in west Africa for 7 years of his life and I am a white American it has not been easy to say the least. Keep your chins up will be praying and thinking of y’all.

[@moymoy8]

the love between you both is so clear and you are prepared to fight for each other, the fact you didn’t just give up is pretty rare these days. sending you guys all the love and good vibes💙

[@19sunheart96]

I didn't really know what to write, but I'll say that much: almost all the long term couples reach that spot at some point in time. What gets you through it is willingness to work on the problems (which you have, and you are already in the process) and love, which you also have. Josh might be a man of few words, but you can clearly see his love for you in the way he looks at you in all these videos. And the way you are at ease when you are with him, like you trust him completely - plus the fact that you have made it through so many years and hard times together - you will make it I am sure! ❤

[@Raichu84]

i could not see you with anyone else ! Josh is meant for you Emillie ! yeah he dont talk much but when he does.. heh trys his best keep goinng tho you got love from everyone here

[@aez8]

Don't give up on each other and the family. Everything will work out .🎉🎉

[@omaramcfarlanewilliams2368]

The devil seeks to destroy unions and marriages. I have realized that a lot of people on and off social media are struggling in their relationship. No relationship is easy. Do not listen to Nay Sayers. People fall in and out of love with each other during relationships it's even harder when you're from different cultures. Difference and expectations and communication, financial difficulties etc. can be an issue.uts good that you are getting help.

[@Unclemiffato100]

Many couples have highs and lows and it’s after you go through these hard times that you build a stronger relationship!! Stick in their and no need to share some private issues

[@marym.1567]

Sometimes I feel powerless when my loved ones cry because I want to fix it. But tears are often cathartic. People cry when they are flooded with emotion. I cry when I’m sad, mad, happy, furious etc… it’s not weakness or something that needs fixing. Tears are away to release that flood of feeling. Y’all take on so much and between the landlord and the wrecked car, and adoption situation.. you two have so many serious things going on. I’m rooting for you and hope you give yourselves some grace. I hope you get skills and strategies snd communicate better from therapy

[@shannonmagee6618]

Thank you for being so honest with us. You are both amazing and you have so much going on. Keeping fighting and pushing you are doing amazing. xxx

[@TheLarters]

❤❤❤

[@suzieq1827]

Different love languages? Differing expectations? Different styles of communication? Different visions for the relationship and different views of what each others roles should be in the relationship? Or maybe the relationship has reached as far as it can grow in the current form. Maybe better off a friends and co parents. Or maybe I will Shut up and listen. Whatever happens we will always love and support you both. Life is short. 🙏🏽

[@reachelrobinson3026]

My husband and I are completely different people, 21 years and still going strong. Too many people try to find happiness from their life partner, and if they don't get it, they up and leave. How about finding your own happiness by yourself. As long as there's love and respect is at the forefront of your relationship everything else will fall into place. My husband doesn't talk much but he listens very well. Emilie, go with how you feel and not people who have expectations of what they want from a relationship! it ain't their relationship its yours and we only see, what you 2 want us to see ❤

[@k.gordon-j5696]

I am praying and cheering you on, I pray it works if it be Gods will. I wish for you the best, keep trying and more importantly pray, seek God's input and his direction. May the Lord Jesus bless you,make your paths straight and make you his.

[@SHMM6021]

Emily you've got two options here, you can fight to keep your relationship and hard as it may seem today, you will have alot to smile at and with tomorrow or you could give up, bring your child with you back to England, start afresh and probs get a new partner down the line but will you be happy or feel fulfilled in that decision. Usually the most fulfilling things in life are the harder ones. Weigh your options well. Whichever choice you make, may it bring you happiness and fulfillment. Watching your videos, personally I wouldn't come this far to give up. I believe you have that inner strength in you to make things happen.

[@ladyk3540]

I pray you give each other chance to open up as you both need. Your great together learn and heal it takes time. Trust each other... Thank you for opening up ❤

[@Java-D]

I know it’s hard to think about, but it may be time to put all the “extra noise” on the back burner. You have too much going on between the dog sanctuary, the vlogs, raising all the children, helping support the charity kids, debt, your paid tutoring… Your immediate family isn’t worth losing in the process. You likely need to make some hard decisions to lessen the load. So you, Josh, and your children can spend all the quality time together and only focus on each other. You are also right though. All relationships take work and have many ups and downs. As long as you don’t give up, you can make it through. I do feel like Josh hasn’t been happy being on camera much. I don’t know if he’s still shy or if he’s somewhat checked out of the family life. Only you guys know the answer.

[@TheLarters]

Josh does struggle being on camera when things are stressful. Where I prefer to share the ups and downs, Josh is only enthusiastic to share when things are good. I just know that life has many ups and downs, and it's best to be honest! We are trying hard to get all the other projects to a place where they don't need us there constantly - we managed with the CEDA kids and are trying to do so with the dogs too - so that we can then focus on our family ❤

[@Java-D]

@@TheLartersyou’ve got this!!! I can also totally relate to women wanting and needing to talk about things while men keep it all in.

[@Teetuc]

It's hard, but I encourage you both to communicate, stay strong, and pray. You have been through too much to give up now. I wish u both thr best.

[@GabiAnneK]

I know we haven't met in person or anything, but my husband and I overcame some of these issues you and Josh are facing. Only difference is we worked through them within the context of marriage. If I can ever be a listening ear, I am only a message away. I know how tough things can be in cross-cultural relaltionships. A Brit converging their life with someone who grew up in an ugandan village. I also felt like it was impossible at times. It really struck me when Josh said you don't want to marry him and you seemed angry in your response. I had understood he can't propose until the adoption is completed? This seems like a point worth bringing up in therapy? If you both feel so differently on the major things, there will always be struggle. I'm with others in thinking it's best to focus your attention and you won't be spread too thin. I know you have a heart for animals but without fundraising and adopting these kids yourself, i don't believe you will be in England any time soon. I'm not sure what you have been led to believe but according to Ugandan law Josh cannot adopt Tallie. Single men cannot adopt girls. No amount of prayers or luck or good wishes will sadly make that a reality. Even if you were married you would have to have been married for several years before the adoption could go ahead. I truly believe your hope of living together in England is simply a dream, without Josh proposing. Josh doesn't have the assets and financial status that would make him a candidate to pass the adoption requirements to adopt the boys either. He doesn't have a job, and no court is going to grant him the responsiblity of the welfare of children with no job or safe home to bring them into. To be totally blunt, he has not provided for them in Uganda, why would he suddenly do so in England? I'm so sorry. I trust that you both love each other, but there needs to be actual steps taken towards the adoption. You must follow the law process and not try to find ways around things. The truth is a hard pill to swallow, but there are ways to bring Tallie, George and James here. It just can't be through Josh. Also the more court cases you bring, the more you taint your names as a couple hoping to adopt.

[@anja6666]

@@GabiAnneK wow, Emily adopting Adam should know about those issues…I just feel sorry for Adam, he is adopted and has a right to live a proper life in the UK, and her and josh play house with 3 kids that probably never see the UK, and Adam right in the middle…

[@GabiAnneK]

@@anja6666 Here is a shorter version.... it's indeed very fishy that a Ugandan can't get a national I.D. Why would that be the case? Unless Josh is some kind of suspect/criminal. Emilie refuses to tell us the I.D story. She alludes to it all the time, and then never tells the story. Also the car issue? It should be a civil case. The only reason cases are criminal is if there are drugs involved. A friend of mine in Uganda is a lawyer and told me if a guy is arrested due to driving under the influence of drink/drugs, the case becomes criminal. Josh seems is incapable of protecting Emilie or the kids. NOT the type of character I'd want leading my family or my children.

[@TheLarters]

Gabi you have no idea what you’re talking about, truly. I have never kept the ID story secret. I am not going to spend time replying to this now as I’m enjoying a weekend with my family, but you need to stop constantly messaging me and commenting as if you know me or are entitled to know anything we keep private, just because you’re from Jinja too. Have a nice weekend.

[@GabiAnneK]

@@TheLarters Must have missed the video where you shared the I.D story.

[@GabiAnneK]

But it seems everyone else here missed it too. Perhaps if you choose to make your life so public you shouldn't get so defensive when people ask questions. Enjoy the time with your family.

[@tatumnieto7078]

I could tell that you were struggling in some of the videos. I am also in a relationship that has two different cultures. My husbands culture is fairly traditional. In most ways my husband is pretty modern and is pretty open, but he still has that hang up that we don’t need to talk about everything and he bottles up. We have had ups and downs, but it’s always been a priority for us to figure it out and work through it because we do love each other so much. You two are the only ones who can decide what’s worth it for you and I think it’s great you’re giving therapy a try. You two were apart physically for so long that I’m sure it’s going to take a bit to find each other especially since you’re also trying to re establish that bond with the other kids and he with Adam. It’s just going to take some time. It’s hard with kids to make each other a priority. Don’t be too hard on yourselves.

[@TheLarters]

Thank you - we are also trying all we can. We want it to work ❤️

[@mollypittman1776]

I think the uncertainty probably also ways on you both too. You are in Uganda with the hopes of the UK and it’s been taking longer than expected. I just wish your lives were just a little easier. Sending you both love as you find your growth and connections.

[@mollypittman1776]

Also I love therapy.

[@sarahingham2758]

Oh please dont break up you 2 are supposed to be together... thats more than obvious to us all. The strongest people always get challenged the most. Things will all work out in the end.. i promise ❤

[@angelicacooke6782]

My husband and I have been togather for 8 years. He is from Mali 🇲🇱 and I am Canadian we we lived in Canada up until last year when we then decided to move to Mali. Being in Canada we did struggle with cultural differences and now living in Mali we are facing the same thing. It is difficult mixing cultures but at the end of the day you have to remember that you are both from different cultures and you now have to create your own. It is not easy but it is worth it communication is key. 😊

[@SavannahJ79]

It's very very hard when life isn't going well to think positively. When things go bad or get stressful we would all love to be like, but look at all my blessings, in reality you take it out on each other. I'm in a cross-culture marriage, different religions, completely different upbringings. My children are now mostly grown. I think when they were younger it was tougher because whilst we agreed on a lot, there were also lots of things that were so different and also our life was hard. When we hit rock bottom, I spent a day on my own. I read a quote in a book that said "The only thing that makes a problem big is the fact that it's yours". My first reaction was well how stupid, of course it is, but then I started looking at it as if someone else told me that problem, what would my solution be or my suggestion. And it works for me, most of the time. My tips are to firstly shut out all the noise, listen to each other before you listen to anyone else, start and end your day being thankful for one thing, even if it's just, well today sucked so thankful I get to shut my eyes tonight. Have everyone in the family state what they are thankful for daily because you learn so much about each other and sometimes they can see something you have missed. Take time for yourself, cry when you have to but put a time on it. If your thoughts are on a loop, say I'm going to do this for two more minutes and then I'm done. Pray or meditate. If something really bothers you ask yourself if in 20 years will it be the one thing you'll remember, if not, let it go. And ask each other, how can I help you and listen to the answer. And it's okay to be cranky and think, well today you can just not speak to me for the day.

[@ad.1237]

Thanks for sharing that. Im from Guinea Conakry but have been living in the UK for the past 10 years. Now im 21 and had arrange marriage to a guy living back there and i really hate it when i try to communicate about my feelings and issues but he never say never really say anything. Although we are from the same country, but where we grew up made us very different people especially that im trained nurse and he never finished primary. But as some has said already, it's seems like Josh took a big step to agree to have therapy. I know my husband would never agree to that. I wish you both all the best.