We Are Providing Respite Care for a Foster Family // Foster Parent Diaries

There is always a need for ❤LOVING❤, 💪SUPPORTIVE💪, and 🕒PATIENT🕒 foster parents who will ⚖ADVOCATE⚖ for the kids placed in their home. We hope that by us sharing our journey as a foster family, that it inspires others to learn more. Contact your county, foster care agency or visit www.adoptuskids.org to learn more.
⭐ Please consider granting wishes to children who are in foster care by visiting One Simple Wish: www.onesimplew... ⭐
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Be The Village
P.O. Box 348
Maineville, OH 45039

[@superphia1997]

I just realized that Sawyer is almost the age that Darcy was when the channel started and that realization gave me a gray hair

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

That’s scary to think about!! Woah!

[@geekynerdgeek]

Sawyer has gotten so big!

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

Yes he has!

[@lovekyds]

I do respite often, and emergency placements for other agencies that are unable to find beds in their agency. Respite is fun, it’s like a sleepover party.

[@jolenerogers3863]

I do respite but for children and adults with intellectual disabilities that still live with their families. I love It so much.

[@amymenjivar3489]

I have friends w/children in that situation. The respite is soooo needed! It must be hard on both you and the children until all are used to respite. With ID and any change in routine etc...

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

Thank you for what you do!

[@irishfosterfamily7174]

Well done’

[@justjenny4871]

Thank you for what you do.. You are awesome

[@jimmycooper9497]

sawyer looks so much like his dad

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

Time will tell, and so do baby pictures lol

[@shaunahcousins9157]

I've been in resbite a few times over the years, while my more permanent carers went on holidays ect. I actually always found it pretty scary, but was always welcomed and felt at ease pretty quickly. Foster care can be so unstable so moving around even for resbite is hard. I've experienced the good, the bad and the ugly when it comes to foster carers and it's great to see you guys and how you really care!! You would expect that from every Forster carer but unfortunately it's not always the case.

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

Thanks for sharing your experience. We try to do respite with family so the kids know where they are starting, still not ideal but better than more strangers.

[@justjenny4871]

I know.. It's tough these days. I hope your foster family loves you and really care about you.

[@shaunahcousins9157]

Just Jenny I'm 25 now married with my own kids, but the foster carer I was living with for the longest time is still a part of my life, my kids call her nannan and I speak to her pretty much daily xx

[@justjenny4871]

@@shaunahcousins9157 Always stay in contact with your foster parents.. I have 2 foster families dearly,.

[@fosterfam2563]

Reapite was really easy going for us. They were younger as well, so it was just like a weekend sleepover for them. Also, where I live, at least with our agency, they have day respite as well. They have it available for foster parents who may have a newborn and can't take off of work and daycares can't accept a newborns. Respite is such a big help for foster families. ❤

[@KM-ye9so]

It always makes my heart so happy when I hear how much you care about the "little" things (favourite foods, etc) that will make kiddos feel comfortable in your home. I bet those "little" things don't go unnoticed.

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

We hope they don’t!

[@MW-sk8my]

Sawyer looks EXACTLY like the both of you 🥺 he’s so cute. I love your channel!

[@RachelBrennan]

Experience from a foster child's perspective: When my boyfriend was in foster care, he always said that he did not like going to respite because he felt like a burden to the family. He said what made him feel most comfortable was them asking him what he wanted to do and not pressuring him to go out or interact too much if he didn't feel like it. He says that he understood why respite was necessary and it is good that it exists but he always dreaded it as any kind of displacement / movement was trauma triggering. I know that isn't very happy or too helpful but this work is so important also and I know you both will do amazing!

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

This is incredible perspective, thank you! That’s the way we hope to approach it. We will have no plans and see what they want to do.

[@jamie9238]

Sawyer is so freaking cute!! That smile! So sweet, Darcy and sawyer look like fraternal twins born years apart 😂

[@kittymervine6115]

this is important work also! I'm sure you will be as welcoming and warm as you always are, knowing this is hard for the child also and letting them adjust at their own pace.

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

So true, I can't imagine already being separated from my family and then being placed with strangers for a short while. So much adjustment, these kids are resilient.

[@meganbelongeay7418]

I've always wanted to foster but wasnt sure if it was the right fit. Definitely going to look into respite care. Thanks for always being so knowledgeable!

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

Glad this helps ❤️

[@LivingForJesusMennoniteMom]

I'm praying for the day we are ready to be able to get approved for foster care again!! In the mid of renovations etc. Our respite care was our first foster placement. Respite turned to forever family.

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

Great to here!

[@justjenny4871]

Thank you for what you do..

[@randalynshaw7262]

My husband and I have done respite for 10 kiddos. We treat respite care like the kids are coming over for a fun sleep over. Our forever kids are 6,5,3 and 3 😁 may God continue to bless your foster care journey.

[@ashleyroy7807]

I’m from Canada and can’t wait to maybe do this journey one day when I’m done with my post education

[@meraleecrowl2545]

Here in Oklahoma, respite can be found how you described (through your agency), or it can be found on your own, in which case, you pay the respite provider personally. I've done it both ways. I'm the 4 years I've been fostering, I've had 10 children placed with me and I've provided respite care for another 15 or 20 kiddos.

[@LindaY26]

We do respite care in between kiddos, and we have to pay $65.00/24 hours. Because our 9 year old son is special needs, I am able to use respite with a babysitter. Sometimes just getting out of the house for a few hours to have dinner as a couple is so wonderful. It’s harder for us to find overnight respite, but that’s OK with us.

[@tiffanyfrost2589]

Sawyer is just the cutest and you guys are absolutely amazing people. Love watching you guys.

[@melissac8872]

We recently provided respite for the first time. We had so much fun with our little guy. We made it a fun weekend for him doing things he wouldn’t normally get to do with his foster mom. We have a long term placement of an infant so, he loved helping with the little one!

[@rachaelcapaso-bond74]

My husband and I love providing respite care! It's great for us, sometimes fun for the kids & helps build connections with other forster parents.

[@jerryabigailahrens8239]

In our time working with the system, we used respite a few times-for mental health. Our placement was very challenging and high needs and it was a priceless blessing. The respite care provider also was able to watch our biological children as we headed to foster care/adoptive parent workshops each time to re-energize and renew!

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

That’s really great!

[@melissagreen1117]

So glad you guys are ready to open ur home again. You guys are so warm, loving and supportive. Hav a good nite🌛

[@basicwhit773]

My husband and I have done Respite two times since getting licensed in october and both have laid up to permeant placement with us. Sometimes the child does test you hardcore even if its just respite and with our agency you can swap respite like one weekend you take a kiddo and the next weekend that family takes your kiddo so then you are even with each other when it comes to the payment. We are lucky our placements previous families do respite for us now and it works very well since we know the families and our kiddos know them.

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

Glad that works out for you guys and the kids!

[@Mscricket222]

My county has Respite Care and Relief Care. Respite Care here is for bio families or adopted families that need a break. Relief Care is for foster parents like you described. I had a child coming every other weekend for Relief Care and it was awesome. It was like getting to be the fun aunt. We did crafts, cooked, and hung out. I think it was good for her to have some one on one attention. She was in care with her two younger siblings (they went to another home on those weekends).

[@justjenny4871]

New subscriber! I was recommended be another youtuber and checked this out. I am 17 years old and I am currently in foster care. I am waiting to be adopted by a forever family, but since I'm 17 years old, I might not get adopted 😢, but luckily I have 3 foster families that love me dearily. Shout-out to you and all foster parents for doing what you do in these tough times. I love in the state of Florida, Brevard County, and it's tough these days because of this pandemic, no adoption events. Thanks so much. Can't wait I explore more on your channel. Please reply of you have anything to say.. 😊😊❤❤

[@justjenny4871]

*Live in the state of Florida, Brevard County

[@justjenny4871]

@Cayden Thank you very much. ❤❤, also thank you for recommending this channel. They really explain a lot of what it's like being in foster care.. and it's exactly the way it is for me. ❤❤❤

[@brookekilgore5937]

When Sawyer pointed with you 🥰

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

I know!!! He’s such a mimicker!

[@thebestwillow]

Excited for this new experience for you. Wonder if on that weekend it would be viable to have the other respite carer bring the two teens over for a couple of hours to see their younger siblings at your house. It would probably be a lot of faff, but I can imagine the teens having been parenting their little siblings and being protective of them and worrying about what the place the little siblings are in for the weekend is like. Just a thought. X

[@janegoldy6385]

Super excited for you guys if this happens. Can’t wait to hear what Darcy thinks of having the younger kids come, if that ends up happening.

[@michellefaber1871]

Before we got our placement we did some respite care. It was a great way to get our feet wet. I will add some fosters have to use respite to just get a break if their kids are challenging.

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

We eventually say that lol

[@NYMusic89563]

You’re glowing in this color !

[@kellsliving3220]

but thanks you for sharing her with me on your channel she is so funny and kind in nice. she said she miss you and darcy and sawyer every day 🤍😀

[@wall_to_wall]

Our plan is to start with respite! My husband is a little apprehensive still so I'm hoping starting with respite is a good way for him to realize that he can handle this. :)

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

Fingers crossed it works out well for all!

[@wall_to_wall]

@@BeTheVillageCommunity thank you!

[@kisekishojo]

Respite can also be for the kiddo too, our daughter did respite a few nights because she was over us during the pandemic, lol. We did respite for families twice so far and I did not enjoy it at all! I find it awkward to abide by other people's rules and routines when they are different from what I would do and I then come off as inauthentic which kids can pick up on. That said, we do have a new placement and we are definitely going to be utilizing respite. She is sweet, but a lot more than what I was expecting.

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

That makes sense, giving the kids a break from us lol. Yes, abiding by other family’s rules is a challenge.

[@dimariehernandez5046]

Thank you for all the great information on respite care!

[@viviennemeurs247]

I’m a foster carer in Australia. I am allowed 52 days a year per child to use for respite, where both myself and the respite carer get paid. It’s called dual payments.

[@amymenjivar3489]

My state and agency is 7 days. 52 is amazing.

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

That’s awesome!

[@seasonswithanthony5509]

You guys are amazing, thank you for being so inspiring!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@katywest]

Do they have something between a babysitters and respite - ie I’m friends with a foster family, but don’t have beds at my place for the kids. Could I get certified to watch the kids overnight at the foster family’s house? My understanding is that babysitting is not allowed to be overnight, but it IS at the foster family’s house.

[@chelseac7633]

Where I live in Canada they’re allowed to stay over night if their house has been approved for over night stays, they do a home visit and make sure everything is up to code for them. Not sure how it works anywhere else! :)

[@TreasureChest0806]

It’s different depending on your Agency. You can sign up to be a babysitter.

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

So it’ll depend on where you are, but for us.... you can be certified/licensed to be respite providers but your house has to go through the same safety process. But, our family who is certified can watch the kids at our house since our house is already approved, and has beds.

[@eddierich6179]

I was a nanny for a family which had one adopted child, and that child's sibling was currently in foster care with them (who they later got to adopt, btw!). I did not live with the family, but had to go through a short approval process with the caseworker at the county building in order to be allowed to provide childcare. This meant that I could do any amount of childcare n their home, so I did do overnight respite a few times when the parents went on short "staycations" at area hotels, or once when one of the grandparents of the family had a health emergency and the situation would have been unnecessarily stressful for the kids to be around. I think hiring me and certifying me was a good solution, because the complexity of separating these siblings for these overnights so that he could go to a foster family and one to the family of their adopted parents would have been not great... Plus, the parents gave me books to read about RAD and other situations that helped me care f the kids better than anyone who just met them could have!

[@katywest]

Catherine, that’s great to hear! I’m glad there is that option and that you were able to provide stability for those kiddos!

[@KeepingItHopeful]

Hope everything goes well! Sawyer eating his peas perfectly sums up life with a toddler. 😂

[@doseofhope3481]

You guys always amaze me 💞😇🙏👍🙃💞!

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

We just do our best lol

[@SLYCoopaEatsChicken]

Excited for y'all and those kiddos! Also girl your hair looks SO GOOD!

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

Haha! That’s funny... I need to use a mirror to check the back of my hair before I record, or at least brush it lol

[@ashleyworstell8279]

My husband and I just got licensed in Ohio to be foster parents.

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

Congrats!

[@countryprincess25]

I love you’re channel your videos and you’re family.

[@phoenixmoon3]

Have a great time.

[@lovekyds]

Here we find our own respite

[@BarbaraBoronda]

I do childcare for dhs for just like babysitting and it is not an easy situation

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

What is DHS?

[@BarbaraBoronda]

@@BeTheVillageCommunity department of human services that runs child protective services here. they have a few kids rooms in their offices because they don't have enough foster parents here in oregon

[@rhiannonparent8581]

Foster care book review!! Yay!

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

Coming soon :)

[@M_Williams]

We have done respite care for a weekend for a 2 and 3 year old

[@Notta_Brat]

We have done respite care for my family members it is an awesome experience... we all now do vacations in turns lol

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

That’s a great plan!

[@headrush5743]

Could you talk about what happens if a foster child has a specific diet that you don’t usually adhere to (halal, allergies, vegan...)? Would you be provided support from your agency

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

There wouldn’t be any support needed, just adjust the menu and pantries!

[@headrush5743]

@@BeTheVillageCommunity That’s really cool then! Thank you for answering! I was raised as a vegetarian when I was a kid so I always felt guilty when people had to make special food for me so I was curious! Love your videos and what you do! 💜

[@michellefaber1871]

Same here in Canada. You meet their needs, dietary or other.

[@Star3marie304]

@@michellefaber1871 Right👍

[@baby5968]

If you have a foster child and it’s not overnight, can you hire a babysitter or would that person have to be cleared to do so? Thanks ❤️

[@amymenjivar3489]

Hi, I'm in a different state but it used to be anybody watching the kids had to be cleared by child welfare and had to be CPR certified. There was a national push with each state/agency having their own policies to implement 'prudent parenting' (you can Google it). It was meant to provide children in foster care a more 'normal' experience. Like if they wanted to do a sleepover at a friends house - previously that wouldn't have been allowed unless that family was cleared. Also, things like school sports and trips. In my district, they now allow you the opportunity to apply the same parenting (in limited scope) I would do for my biological children. Theory is we are trained and background checked and hopefully would make reasonable decisions for any child in our care. For instance, I couldn't leave foster child with my mom to run to the store before...but I can now.(My mom wasn't background cleared nor a respite provider like in this video) Also, I live w/in 1 hour borders to Washington DC, Virginia and PA (DC is 10 minutes!). Previously, I couldn't go to the zoo , museums, monuments in DC w/out permission as that was crossing state line. Now, we can under prudent parenting. I think we have to notify if we spend the night but don't have to have 'permission'.

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

The other response is the same where we are, any babysitter has to be “cleared” and it depends on the county or agency

[@Megan_Truly]

I have a suggestion for a video idea, I've looked into foster care in my state and I know that they require a double lock system for medications. Which I did actually get that already, believe it or not. (this would also be good for my own biological children to keep them out of medicines that they shouldn't get to). I would be curious your med set up.... if your state has the same requirements. My setup is a bunch of locked medication boxes inside of a locked closet. I locked my linen closet (best option for us kind of weird sure) and then I have several medication chests that lock from Amazon inside. But I don't know if that meets the requirements. I haven't had my home study yet. I actually don't think I meet some of the other requirements, lol. I have a square footage requirement in my state and I'm pretty sure I already have too many kids biologically so I would have to move probably.

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

We will talk about ours in a future episode!

[@amyeli33]

I think it would be good for you to try watching younger kids for respite care to see what it would be like.

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

True! We aren’t used to that so far :)

[@kellsliving3220]

thanks for liking my instagram post 💛💛💛💛 miss a is a good kid um i don’t talk to her late at night because i have to be at work and i know she has school so i wait until later in the day too have a conversation with her

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

She is an incredible kid for sure!

[@kellsliving3220]

@@BeTheVillageCommunity she just messaged me on instagram lol 😂 she is amazing i told her i will send her some stuff to you from me ❤️ what’s your p.o. box

[@kellsliving3220]

@@BeTheVillageCommunity i have to get me one

[@make.it.rainer]

You two are the sweetest couple! Did you two talk about fostering before you got married or did you hear about it and make the decision together after you got married? Asking because I am a single gal who is getting worried that I’ll never find a man who is willing to foster with me down the road 😅

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

We talk about this in a super early video but we can talk about it again!

[@make.it.rainer]

@@BeTheVillageCommunity Ooooh, you're right!! I just did some digging and found it in your second video. Such a sweet story, thank you for responding!! :-)

[@micaylamcclutchey943]

The right man will be willing to foster with you 😍 it has been my dream since I was a kid & I met a man who had the same dream!

[@make.it.rainer]

@@micaylamcclutchey943 This is seriously SO comforting to hear, thank you for sharing!! I'm so happy for you, that is so special ❤️

[@curiousfirely]

Question (sorry if it has been asked below) - would respite care also be applicable if there is a family emergency, like a funeral out of state? Or would that fall under something else?

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

I believe that would!

[@curiousfirely]

@@BeTheVillageCommunity Thanks!!

[@horsewithnoname12345]

When did sawyer become so big!

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

Overnight, like no sh*t I don’t know when!

[@jordanplans4611]

This sounds great for our family! We have 5 children soon to be 6 so I’m not sure what the foster care limit is but I would love to be a foster parent but respite seems like a great place our family could start.

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

Glad this gives some direction!

[@Sophie-ze5yc]

I always thought it's "Restbed care" 😅😂 (main language German not English)

[@Kirsten_is_cursed10]

Now I’m always going to think of that 😅

[@Sophie-ze5yc]

@@Kirsten_is_cursed10 haha 🙈

[@doribluefish3767]

I'm just curious, are there special licenses for fostering kids with medical issues or is that something you can do as a regular foster parent?

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

It will depend on the agency or county.

[@GDS_Michelle]

Does your respite care only include foster kids? I’ve been told that there is respite care for special needs or elderly people who need a place while their caregivers (parents) needs a weekend break to recharge. Is that the same thing you’re licensed for? Before they send you someone to respite care do you have to get testing for COVID before everything goes through.

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

I do not know for sure if that is a thing. Not familiar with it. No tests before respite. We would be taking the risk, quarantining from others in the mean time.

[@jenlopez6098]

Respite care for special needs children is different at least in my state.

[@lf206]

Right. Foster Respite is through the foster care system. Special needs respite could be a family member taking over for a couple days, or something through medical insurance like a home health nurse for an afternoon.

[@janedough8997]

How does picking a child up from school work when you're not their parent or guardian?

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

You give your info to the school so you are authorized, at least where we are.

[@elizabethann5308]

You would be the guardian. That is kinda a loose definition of guardian.

[@Leanna299]

i'm so early auto captioning isn't up yet 😂✨

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

I’m sorry! That’s a good and bad thing 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@supersparkley123]

Question: Does this include therapeutic respite care?

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

Good question... I believe that would include therapeutic respite care if both families fall under that

[@kellyanndyer730]

Just curious we r looking for respit but been following you for some time and I have to consider location

[@kellyanndyer730]

Sorry I got so involved that I did not consider location

[@kellyanndyer730]

Darn we are in michigan

[@kellyanndyer730]

But if I could pick a family it would be yours

[@meschahayes1003]

How couldn't you accommodate logistically? Put the teens in the bunk beds and the smaller kids on the day bed and mattress under. Asking not out of judgment. I'm asking for future reference

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

They don’t count the trundle as a bed, just the twin and bunks.

[@kelleycarnes5365]

Never seen your channel before, but I only clicked on the video because I saw a kid and the title and I feared you were stupidly videoing a respite kid. Good luck with your journey from a former foster kid. You got your work cut out for you!

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

Glad we could surprise you :)

[@kellyanndyer730]

Were r u located?

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

We are in Cincinnati

[@nishaedminster2404]

What is the name of your private organization?

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

We are not sharing that, sorry! Just to keep some boundaries.

[@kayleegoff141]

A good point for respecet care is to ask the foster kids if they would like to go somewhere for example Church, youth group and vacation Bible School because some parents might not want them associated with any religion or domination because I was going to go to a revival with my extended family on my dad side of the family the one thing they did before I did could go was ask my parents before I went and I was able to go to the church service.

[@kellyanndyer730]

Can we email you

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

Yea, our email is in our channel about section

[@annegariepy3823]

Do you children of your own.

[@Thesingle_momlife]

When I provide respite I usually don’t have enough beds. Since it’s a short stay, children can sleep on the couch or whatever.

[@BeTheVillageCommunity]

Oh wow! Our agency wouldn’t allow that.

[@taylormerrick8116]

ok, so i always hear of horrible foster care situations where the foster parents are trying to make money from the state. i feel like kids are expensive, so how do people, or is it even possible for someone to profit from foster care?

[@lf206]

If you’re doing it right, no, there’s no profit. The amount the state gives to cover each child’s care is barely adequate, if that. In fact many foster parents regularly spend more of their own mont to make sure kids’ needs are met. Unfortunately however, they are people who will take that money and pocket it, and then neglect the children doing just the bare minimum.