We broke up / I miss my dog / I'm doing well! | Mental Health Q&A | Drinking By My Shelf

[@lindacarson5429]

You were amazingly open & honest & quite right to hold back things that you don't want to share. Not everything is for public consumption. Such an achievement to be living on your own & doing well at it! I'm so impressed that you've put Hippo's needs above your own & glad that you get some time with the cutie. Keep strong 💜💪

[@hollyoakley3152]

I adopted a rescue dog with my ex. When we split up he kept him because he stayed in the house with a garden and as I’m a nurse so I work long hours. I still see him a lot and at first it was strange for him but now he LOVES coming to mine, once Hippo is settled in she’ll start to really look forward to coming to yours! Good luck with everything x

[@anitathornburg3883]

I’m so sorry you are going through this. I got divorced from my husband of 31 years in January and I’m still trying to find my way. So thank you for real about the struggle with grief❤️

[@DrinkingByMyShelf]

Oh Anita I’m so sorry you’re going through that. That’s a very long relationship to be mourning, I am sorry.

[@orangeandcats]

the advice on just allowing yourself to lie on the floor if you feel like it and saying that 'oh my brains doing that thing again' has honestly changed my perception on bad mh days 🥺 i always imagine it as a fight but i love this, thank you 💞

[@jessicawatson7360]

I always view it as a fight and it can be so tiring, I find it a hard balance bc, I don’t want to get complaisant but, I want to accept too.

[@samh7206]

After 10 years of an ed I can finally say I am happy with my relationship with both food and body❤ no restrictions, no guilt, no punishment for any physical problems my body comes up with, I look in the mirror and feel happy, I feel no shame when showing myself naked. I'm only sharing this because its absolutely possible to come to a place like this, mostly body neutrality and intuitive eating has helped me with this. Im always gonna have days when I feel less attractive tho, thats a given. It took me a few years of fighting this too. But its possible and its important to know its possible

[@AdrianneChristineBooks]

Emma 💕💕💕 so glad you’re doing well and felt up to sharing. I’ve been divorced for a couple of years after a 10 year marriage. I live alone, he kept the dog and moved far away. It was so hard but the perks of finding out who you are without that person, and getting to do whatever you want without checking in with someone are so fantastic. My wall of books, my home decor, my dinner choices. At this point my ex husband and I are great friends, took a while to get there but I’m so glad we could salvage things into a new type of relationship.

[@neverxever66]

I hope you know how much it means to hear someone put into words something you've been feeling or talk about a similar experience - these videos are wonderful. And I'm so happy you're in a good place now 💙💚💛

[@tibbarasden]

I agree that giving yourself a little space just to be is extremely helpful. I use to beat myself up when I was having those days where I just couldn't do anything. Now I give myself a little grace and allow myself to feel low and do nothing. 9 times out of 10 in an hour or so or sometimes the next day I am ready to get something done. Therapy was the best thing I ever did and I wished I had done it sooner. Great video I wish more people were willing to talk about their struggles.

[@Pixiewithpens]

its lovely to hear that you are okay despite also working through the grief ❤ setting boundaries, like youre doing with details regarding the breakup, is ALSO really important for mental health i think! through my many years online ive kind of found a balance between opening up to find community and solidarity, and protecting my vulnerabilities so i dont end up feeling worse for having shared my struggles. i guess im learning to respect myself more. anyway what im trying to say is good on you for not answering those questions!

[@Nyledam89]

I'm doing CBT and one suggestion for avoiding your thoughts going in circles I learned, is the 5-4-3-2-1-technique. Focus on 5 things you see, then 5 things you hear, then 5 things you feel (I focus on physical sensations to get out of my head) and then again with 4 and so on. Maybe it can help you too. 💙

[@Nyledam89]

Oh and I'm still doing Wordle, Quordle, Heardle and Worldle. 😂

[@cass465]

I’ve been there, sis. 💞 this was probably hard to make so well done.

[@georgeparkes3863]

I’m with you on the beneficial power of therapy. Having a safe place to speak genuinely and openly about how you are feeling and what’s going on In your head is so beneficial. I’m glad to hear its helped you on your journey to a better place and a promotion! Great work 🌞

[@pennPi]

I’m sorry to hear you are going through grief. I’ve suffered a couple of losses and I found that it comes in waves. It’s been embarrassing crying while doing my grocery shopping! It’s crazy how one moment you’re feeling fine and then you are suddenly hit with a thought that triggers the grief. It’s been a couple of years now since my dad passed away followed by my beloved cat. I think the only way to recover is with time and comforting yourself the best way you can. I found instead of putting pressure on myself to be positive, getting to a place of neutrality is much easier.

[@brookeangel2071]

Just wanted to give you a quick reminder that you don't owe anybody anything. It's amazing and wonderful that you're sharing this difficult part of your life, but remember that you don't have to answer anybody's questions and you don't owe anybody an explanation for the choices that you make that make you a better Emma. You are a strong person ❤️

[@AbiofPellinor]

Oh my gosh, congratulations on the promotion!! You've been going through so much at the moment and you've got amazing friends and family around you. (and I'm doing Wordle still!!) and please never feel pressured to talk about personal things! We're all here for you and happy to listen if you do want to chat about things more publicly, but you should 100% hold back and keep things for yourself that you want/need to and look after yourself first and foremost!

[@Steph-qs4yq]

Thank you so much for doing this video. I think a lot of the barriers to accessing help is not having the language to describe how you feel, so having someone describe their own experiences is incredibly helpful. Warms my heart to know you're doing okay. Lots of love!

[@whatruthreads]

Thank you for an honest and raw video. We love you and want the best for you. Thinking of you 💛

[@kelseycarlile9704]

You are so so brave. I kind of came to some of these conclusions but would never ask. When I wasn't ready to talk about my accident or not being able to walk and people would ask it made me feel horrible. I'm so glad you're doing well 💚

[@ochoheido]

I really like the "What are you proud of" question. I started writing down one "success" per day in my journal at the end of the day and it is magical. It can be really simple or profound. It's just nice like being your own boss of your life and every day being like "You did this one thing really well, today. Good job!" even if it's as simple as like 'I did all my chores today even though I had a headache'. Others examples I've done... 'I let myself have the rest I needed today' 'I remembered to go grocery shopping' 'I washed the laundry and put it all away in one day' 'I finally went through that closet' 'I made a delicious spaghetti dinner with fresh cherry tomatoes' 'I set up a board game for the family to play' 'I washed the cat's bowls' 'I read 234 pages today!' 'I ~didn't~ impulse buy a book'

[@alicelourenco4736]

The way you speak softer when you’re talking about wordle,,,, Emma, you’re an angel and I hope you get to always feel good and have a smile on your face

[@PumpkinMozie]

I think living alone is fantastic! You can do whatever you want whenever you want. I used to live alone with my cats and I absolutely loved it.

[@sashafire1987]

I admire the way you're balancing your new changes with such healthy therapy tools, the way you're letting yourself feel your feelings, using healthier coping mechanisms and pulling in support is great. I'm sorry to hear about the change because I know it's hard to move through complicated feelings. You deserve nothing but ease and as you keep healing you'll see more ease than struggle again one day, thanks for being so candid and clear with your boundaries as you shared.

[@BohoBookworm]

So proud of you Emma and it’s lovely you still get to have Hippo! Never ever forget your worth. Congratulations on your promotion!! You are strong and amazing!! Happy Friday lovely xx

[@EmilyKathrynH]

I so enjoyed watching this video! It's been a rough time over here finishing my grad program, and it's always nice to hear how others are dealing with mental health challenges. Also I love the phrase "duvet day" and will absolutely be using it

[@FullyBookedMelissa]

Sending positive thoughts your way and wishing you all the best 💖 When I need a pick-me-up, I go back and watch one of your vlogs. I hope you know that you bring joy to those who watch you!

[@callielafleur4673]

2 things- first, thank you for sharing so much of your journey, especially during MHAM. Second, lollllll forever at the "I don't like historical fiction" person having a historical fiction book as her favorite of the year 💖

[@DrinkingByMyShelf]

Hahahahah oops

[@KMXC17]

I really loved your advice on just laying on the floor if you need to. I've found that indulging when you need to is really right for me, and you described that perfectly.

[@bookishfairygodmother]

Sending you such a big hug. That's a lot to go through and I think it's so wonderful that you're able to be open with us all about it. Please know that I'm cheering you on! xo

[@Nico5890]

LOVE YOU and ROOTING FOR YOU!!! and thank you for ALL your videos. I'm newly single as well, so when my house is eerily quiet at the end of the day, sometimes I put on your videos and it feels like I'm catching up with a friend. your virtual presence is always a joy! KEEP SLAYIN SH!T

[@morganblalock873]

Thanks for sharing. So glad to hear you have found light and happiness even when things are hard. I appreciate you raising awareness for Mental Health Month; it means so much to so many of us to see someone we consider a friend online speak about these topics with candor and openness. You're a rockstar!

[@CheyeW13]

your positivity is really inspiring, and i'm glad to hear you're taking time to process healthily

[@MsAniMo22]

I just got divorced in December,after being with my ex for 14 yrs,and as much as it was/is absolutely horrible, I have also found lots of positives in my new life. Also,I am still doing my Wordle every day 🙃

[@elskuperus4393]

So glad you are doing well. Was worried about you. Going through a lot myself I can relate. What you said about allowing yourself to feel low and not beating yourself up about it, that really helps. Big hugs from Amsterdam

[@GunpowderFictionPlot]

Congrats on your promotion! Kind of incredible that it happened while your dealing with so much.

[@rageagainstmyhairline5574]

That's amazing! Well done on getting out of the depression cycle; if my antidepressants didn't mute my emotions, I'd be genuinely happy for you xD I think I'm in it for life, unfortunately, so it's always great to see people get better; my world tends to spiral inwards at times and I forget other people have depression and chronic pain, I focus on myself too much and that's not good. But having someone share what they, personally, have had to go through, and recognising the struggles I share with them, kinda yanks me out of that instantly, so thank you for that, I really appreciate it. I'm sorry you still have bad days, but it seems like you've got systems in place to help you through, and that's important. The only advice I'd give - if I can and if you don't already know, but you having been in therapy for over a decade means you probably do - is that there's no shame in having to go back on the antidepressants if you need to. Don't think you're failing yourself or anything like that, as in my own experience, the things that lead to a very bad episode build up very, very quickly shortly after stopping the meds. Just take care of yourself is the general feeling I want to get across, you know? Anyway, sorry if I over-shared or anything, I never really know how much to share and how much to omit. Wonderful video, by the way. I've just found your channel today and I think you're awesome. Your voice is so incredibly pleasant and you're so good at getting the feelings involved in reading a particular book when you review them. Keep up the great work!

[@jessicawatson7360]

I have a list of books for bad mental-health days so I don’t feel overwhelmed by choice so, if I want an audiobook then I have go to books sorted. I make sure they’re good for me, calming, not triggering topics etc like HP books I loved as a kid etc.

[@kitkatkc9]

With goals remember to be SMART: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-Bound. 😊 For new meds my rule of thumb is give it at least two weeks to actually kick in🤷🏻‍♀️ Yes I still love Wordle 🤗 also Taylordle (Taylor Swift) and Furdle (animals)

[@dohaaymoon4096]

Talking to yourself is a good advice because your voice is so wonderful and soothing.

[@gracetaylor7351]

Thank you for this video from so far from Australia . I find this really helpfully.❤️

[@YourTrueShelf]

Emma this was the bravest video 💛 my heart is sending lots of love to yours. I think you'll have helped so many people talking about this, and in such an open hearted way, I respect that so much. I will look at better help to see if it's something that would be helpful to my patients as it sounds great from what you've said. Big love xxx

[@sarareadsslowly]

Emma, really appreciate your openness and honesty talking about your mental health! happy to hear you are doing ok! 💕 Also, I picked up The Paper Palace a few weeks ago after hearing you talk about it, can’t wait to read it soon 😊

[@karakask5488]

You're not alone. I'm still on the Wordle train too!

[@sharonhill6184]

You are a strong and brave young woman and thank you for this video. I have no doubt things will get better for you as I know I’ve been through something similar and it was tough. My thoughts are with you. Take care and keep smiling ❤️

[@trishawood2997]

Thank you for opening up. I am glad to hear that you are doing good. ❤️ and the family and I have a group chat and we send our wordle everyday. 😁

[@carolinemeehan9356]

thank you for opening up about your mental health. you are right to hold back things I think some things should be private. i am glad you are doing well.

[@forever_quiinn1324]

I completely understand and respect keeping your personal self to yourself, but thank you so much for this video. I’m on exactly a year today (coincidentally) from my 3 year relationship split and especially what you were saying about the grieving process and it is a process has made me feel so much less alone. So thank you and I’m glad you are feeling quite positive. We’re going to be ok. 💜

[@bethmetcalf3447]

Thinking off you Emma & just know that you’re stronger than you know🥰

[@eternalangel11]

I am so glad that you are doing ok. Things take time and grief is something that can come to you when you least expect it. Surround yourself with love and things do seem a bit better. ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@samg388]

Its great to hear you are doing well! I can't imagine how hard not having Hippo around all the time would be but it is great to hear you are still able to see her regularly.

[@Alysia225]

Glad you're doing good! Life changes are full of ups and downs for sure! Thank you for sharing what you are comfortable sharing 💜

[@penhallj]

Thank you for being so open. I am going through something similar myself and am resonating with the lot of things you said about it being a big change but also enjoying my independence. Everyone is telling me that I have got my sparkle back since focusing on myself.

[@DrinkingByMyShelf]

That's so lovely - embrace your sparkle!

[@chibimeee]

Aww. I haven’t checked into my reading youtube for months, so i didn’t know about that. As for me, i am so stress with my job and bosses. The only reason why i don’t quit is that i need the money to take care of my mother and father(my mom had a stroke and my father is partially blind). My relationship with my family is excellent! So hearing what you’re going through reminds me that people have different kinds of difficulty. as a muslim, we believe that God is fair, and what you have extra, God will take another from you, and what you don’t have, God will give it to you. Sending hugs to eveeeeeeryoneee🌸🌸🌸

[@cleg78]

Thank you so much for being so open about what is going on in your life, I am so so sorry you have gone through what you have and my heart breaks for you. I just hope you are doing as well as you can and keep moving forward

[@nourin_siddique]

Emma, you are so strong and I am absolutely delighted for you. I am glad there is a new silver lining and I hope it comes back for all of us. Pandemic was hard, changed me a bit but I am glad to see what future hold. Also, thanks for the goals advice. I was struggling a bit but I will listen to you and see how it goes. Thank you for giving all the amazing advice like you always do. Hugs to you love 💜

[@beccah7643]

Thank You for such an honest video. A lot of what you said resonated with me, I am glad you are in a better place now.

[@steffhumm1041]

Thank you for sharing. I relate to a lot of this. Grief is a process so it's great to see you giving yourself permission to feel it as it comes. You got this! xx

[@lifeworthreading]

I’m really glad you’re doing okay 🤍 sudden life changes can be so chaotic but I’m so glad everything has turned around for you 💌 I hope you continue to improve and feeling the best you can 💕💕

[@harrietobrien3900]

Thank you so much Emma. It feels a bit weird to comment and say this but I've been wondering how you've been and im so so glad to see that things seem peaceful and good right now. I had a baaaad few years MH wise and had to take a chunk of time off work to recover and whilst I felt like I was just a horrible failure and my brain was being really really mean I watched your vlogs over and over and was so incredibly comforted by them. Im doing so much better now (also with the help of therapy) but even on my lower days I go back to your 24hr readathons and vlogs. I dont know what it is, I think its just how true you are and it helped me to feel okay with just being exactly who I am in the moment too. Its odd, we obviously don't know each other, but I wanted you to know that your videos helped (and help!) me a lot when things are hard. Wishing you all the peace and joy in the world, H

[@DrinkingByMyShelf]

😘

[@wendyluvsbooks1580]

Glad to know you are doing ok and yes it’s good that you can come on here and talk about it and it’s a very brave thing to do so be proud of that …. Sending you hugs 💞💞…. How has your reading been through all this 📚💞📚

[@boojingleful]

Thank you for this video! I'm glad you're at a place where you feel able to address the break up on here, and that the two of you have an arrangement with Hippo! Dogs are the greatest thing ❤️ also still on the Wordle train so you're not alone there

[@becki8000]

So much bravery in one video!

[@GuiltyFeat]

Sending only positive thoughts and support your way. Your energy has always been so upbeat and joy bringing. Be kind to yourself and continue to lean on the people around you who love and value you.

[@katel.126]

Thank you for sharing and thank you for your videos. You bring a lot of joy to a lot of people.

[@manyabansal5717]

You are the best and you are soooo strong!!! You will surely get better!!! Take care of yourself!!!!❤️❤️

[@rachaelhall9009]

1. I’m glad you seem to be doing well 2. My brother still does WORDLE every day 💖

[@lizzienm9068]

Thank you for being so open and honest.

[@katiejlumsden]

Glad you are doing all right, Emma xx

[@catscandscoffee]

Here for you emma! So much love for youuuuu 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

[@WhatVictoriaRead]

You’re amazing for being so open and honest, you are helping so many people ❤️

[@JayGTheAwkwardBookworm]

Sending you so so much love 🥰 I love what you said about the poking the bruise in your bruise… so relatable 🥺

[@bookadventureswithangela4202]

Sending love and hugs. And know that you are helping so many with your courageous but hard to say words. 😘

[@thebritishbookworm]

I really needed this video as I'm going through a similar life change. So nice to see you doing so well!

[@mollyjane8060]

Glad you are doing well! I was definitely sending you good vibes through my screen the last few months!

[@livtupi]

I love this video so much, it was kinda hard to watch, i was nervous for some reason but im really happy now after I've finished watching, and I'm really happy for you emmaaaa ✨✨✨

[@Biobotica]

SO glad to hear you're doing well! Proud of you!!

[@moonbook12]

Good luck with the new beginnings. You are Barve in way

[@roseofoulesfame]

Always a joy to hear from you

[@avrilgloworm518]

i know you literally just answered a ton of mental health questions, BUT!!!! You talking about going to the office a lot and you also talking about accepting a depressive state of mind when it happens makes me wonder; how do you handle work when you're unable to even get out of bed? I have chronic depression and I've been struggling for pretty much a decade with handling work/school whilst I'm having one of those days or weeks. I always feel like such a wimp when I call in sick and have to lie about the cause, but usually superiors don't respond well to the whole crippling depression thing (literally crippling.) How doth thou do it?

[@DrinkingByMyShelf]

I know what you mean! For me I find working from home impacts my mental state so negatively that I just make it really important that I go in to work - but the way I’ve made that possible is having someone to travel in to work with. Otherwise yes, doing it alone can feel too impossible!

[@avrilgloworm518]

@@DrinkingByMyShelf that's a really great idea, traveling with someone! It's really nice to know I'm not alone in struggling with this exact thing :) (even though that sounds kind of morbid, I don't WANT anyone to be struggling with that of course, but you know) working from home hasn't been as good for me as actually getting out the door either, so having someone there to go with would be a really nice break from having to do it all on your own every time

[@libbydarlow4654]

Well done Emma - I’m sending you lots of love - you are such a lovely person and it’s so comforting watching your videos. Thank you 💕

[@vera2450]

Thank you for this! I really needed to hear this ❤️

[@GirlinPursesuit]

wishing you all the best, Emma, peace and love in your new chapter

[@alisonbell3475]

Give yourself time and take care x

[@ameliagillinder6884]

You are amazing, thank you so much for this ❤️❤️❤️

[@kayrevidal5968]

So proud of you keep staying strong!!! We love you 💕

[@kaiann107]

sending all my love! this video was amazing and i'm so glad you're doing well

[@annaphillips2175]

Love you so very much, and so proud of you x

[@Ashely56]

Sending you all the virtual hugs

[@simoneharrison6472]

Thank you and good luck xx

[@pucksandpaperbacks]

Sending you so much love, Emma! 💙

[@katieryan8128]

So much love to you, Emma. You're inspiring :)

[@RebeccaAmalia]

Emma, all the best for you ❤

[@jess2424ica]

Team lunchtime and team wordle! 💕

[@ReadEatGameRepeat]

Thank you for sharing - I know how difficult and scary it can be to talk openly about mental health stuff

[@kyrumptionmakeup8197]

I'm disabled so when me and my ex broke up he kept the dog. I miss her so much sometimes its overwhelming

[@jwi1085]

Thank you for this

[@darlenefarley8193]

I'm so sorry to hear about you and Archie. You two seemed so happy but I guess things happen no matter how much you try to keep things together.

[@crashedherparty]

sending lots of love

[@OliviasCatastrophe]

🧡🧡🧡

[@rosierumsey]

I've still been doing wordle everyday. Lol

[@EdieCournoyer]

❤❤❤