We disagreed on how to parent here. what would you do? Part 2/2

[@kendrac4860]

I agree with dad. You have to teach these kids young.

[@J939N]

As someone who did this stuff without a father to be strict fucked me up for the first 14 years of my life. Gotta set boundaries and punishments or he won't learn till way too late

[@carmenhoma1782]

This is amazing! I don’t think I’ve ever seen parents calmly discuss punishment like this. Good job guys. This is a frustrating situation & the fact that y’all broke the entire situation down & both decided how to move forward is super cool.

[@joshanddarin]

we're trying our best, thanks for the nice words!

[@ascwahid]

This is why fathers are important

[@kokolatte825]

I'm a mom, and I totally agree with the dad. Crying doesn't equal punishment, and it doesn't prove that the child learned a lesson. Giving into that teaches children how to be manipulative

[@ascwahid]

Great mom. I don't get to see mom's like you. Most couples I meet the moms Over baby. Its even worse when they are single mothers. Spoken from experience.

[@angietsiganova9143]

He was upset because he got CAUGHT. Save us another adult who doesn’t take accountability for their actions and discipline him now.

[@GeraldNelson1975]

Don’t give your kids tablets in the first place.

[@HannaTegneskog]

Yes. Act like technology doesn't exist because it's a spawn from satan.You know what? They should throw away everything they own thats powered by electricity too while they're at it.

[@davidnetherway4734]

please take note parents this is how you parent. also im with dad the time should reflect the loss in trust. lying is one of the worst things a child can do to their parents and the child should learn that early as possible. and that the consequence's are huge we as parents have to be able to trust what our children tell us is the truth and not lies.

[@yiomararomero]

I agree with the dad

[@joanofshark1407]

I love this, calmly and respectfully having a conversation, and not being too extreme or too lax with discipline

[@rhyahomewood5383]

Dad has the right idea. Give a "proportional punishment" in the very first time then you will build good boundaries and establish how you expect your kids to behave and what is acceptable and what is a firm boundary. Good for you Mum, you have been able to allow Dad to get his point across without railroading him into babying and being too lenient. The young person lied twice, it is definitely a big deal. Well done mum and dad this is an example of great joined up parenting! ❤

[@RoseKBRobinson]

If i may. So there is no confusion that while one was away someone got in trouble. Have a visual code you see as you walk inside that alerts you , all good , or not so good today. They will know that you know as soon as you call them in your voice and you will not accidentally undermine the others authority.

[@bingorfm724]

Unless a father is hurting a child, let them discipline children! It’s their role as a father and they do it better than a mother ever could. Let them do their job. Mom, it’s time for you to sit back and let dad handle this one. You will benefit so much from that.

[@shrihaven]

Agree with dad. Mum is enabling the kid by making excuses for him

[@thechrononautswife-dorothy]

Dad 💯

[@johndoherty6729]

I agree with dad.

[@nj.7325]

I heard someone say for example, if you see your kid with crumbs all over their face, instead of asking "did you eat cake" and kid lies out of maybe fear, maybe not really understanding that lying is bad, it's better to be like "I see you've eaten cake! The reason I don't want you to eat cake late is because it can make your tummy hurt, and it makes me sad because I was looking forward to eating some too and it's all gone. Next time you want cake, tell me and we can talk about it!" and they ask the kid if they feel like they can stop eating it or if it needs to be kept out of reach, and then try each solution out before parent makes a final decision if they have to. I personally think that lessons are easier to learn when they're explained, and also if you try to understand the reasons children lie and help them see HOW helpful it is to tell the truth. But I'm not a parent and I love this discussion, I just wanted to share something because my parents were really strict and this approach seems more collaborative and still helps learn the lesson about behavior. Kids don't really understand why they're being punished, and see it as a withdrawal of love rather than just about the behavior. In this case since it's about lying, explaining if you haven't tried (fully aware you might have) and learning some developmental psych about why young children lie might be helpful ^^.

[@TylerHy]

Dad wants him to show remorse and mom is more on the teaching. Once again I agree with both ways. However, showing remorse and the son acknowledging his behavior as wrong not once but twice in the same day apology of self reflection is more important than the punishment.

[@gracereece2097]

I love that you're sharing your perspective clearly with your husband, but still deferring to his decision in the end even if you don't like it/agree with him. It shows how much you love, respect, and ultimately TRUST your husband to lead your family.

[@aimzjane3548]

Dad is 100% right

[@pseudonym9215]

Disciplining a kid is a fathers job.

[@anotherguy5780]

Exactly. It's cool she agreed in the end but him having to explain that to her is crazy to begin with honestly.

[@domhamai]

Team dad all the way.

[@srtanutellita]

What about not giving your kid a tablet lmao 💀

[@lennyl5314]

This is why we got to quit letting government raise our kids. Good job, dad. We need more like you.

[@josiecamilo7098]

Having a serious talk is sometimes better than punishment. Kids get hurt when the parents are upset with them. Explain how lying will make you not trust them and it has to stop. If you continue to punish it's not going to make the difference a good talk can do

[@samanthajordan9248]

🎉🎉🎉 go dad 👏

[@guerreroazteca1234]

If you wait until he's older than you are too late you need to do it from a very early age, I noticed that when it comes to discipline women are not very good at it, they need to realize that it's not just a line it's the disrespect to the parent, it's like saying screw you and I will try to do it to see if I can get away with it

[@Amanda.Marie40]

He needs a consequence so he remembers, it comes with lying. Not just tablet taken away he won’t care about that soon

[@weitzhandler]

thats y u need fathers fatherless children know how to fool their mother

[@crazypsychnurse9493]

You should listen to your husband. He is being more logical. Sometimes I had the same problem with accepting my husband’s solution, but I don’t ever remember him being unreasonable….as far as disciplining the boys. Always keep in mind, you are parenting a child that will someday be someone’s parenr and someone’s husband. I promise, what you do today, will carry over to the future. That being said, I would like to commend the maturity and communication and the obvious concern in teaching your son right from wrong, which you as a couple have shown. It’s rare today. Well done.

[@shoopdawhoop8730]

Hmmmm well done! Little dude will be alright :)

[@lennyl5314]

Go dad

[@justinfaires2782]

let dad handle his boy, mom is too soft.

[@convictednotcondemned3483]

They cry because they try to manipulate parents into giving in tears are ok the longer mine cry the longer they need to sit in the reflective corner finish their emotional outburst think about what they did then we talk and hug it out but I’m still keeping hold of that phone or tablet for a day or two 😁🤷🏾‍♀️

[@shannonmeikle5192]

I think that it's a great idea to talk about this stuff with your partner

[@MaxPower1000.]

Easy fix introduce a belt anything digital taken away and he can only read books do math and poems/writing. When in middle school they told me they would take my Jordans away along with my good clothes, so in order to keep looking fly/good i kept my grades up and cleaned my room, this helpped because i dated all my crushes and told i was smart and fly 😂😂😂

[@Kevin-do8bq]

Back in my day we got whoopins for lying. Cut you a switch. Or better yet, make him cut his own switch.

[@PigDestroyer9000]

My grandma would make me pick between a stick from this small tree in the front yard or a fly swatter. If it was severe it was a strip that she cut off from my grandpas belt. She doesn’t do that either my little brother and he’s worse than I was and I’m so mad😂

[@Kevin-do8bq]

@@PigDestroyer9000 , one time years ago when I was a kid, I was cutting up in Church. My Dad was one of the musicians in the Church band. He didn't miss a beat. I went outside picking my switch. So I got to thinking, if I get an old dead stick it'll break and he'll feel bad and that'll be it. Wrong! He broke that stick several times and then made me cut a real switch. Then proceeded to absolutely annihilate and paint my back porch red as a mater. And without missing a beat, came in, grabbed the git fiddle and kept on playing. Ahhh, memories. 😂

[@ktaco8386]

All the tablets are tools for parents who cat be bothered with thier kids. Kids shouldnt be on devices for more then 2 hours a day. Im 30 and all the screen time i got while growning up was la novela id watch with my parents at night. Its sad when you see how far it affects children development.

[@amergingiles]

Discipline your children, or the world will do it for you, and you do NOT want the world to do it for you.

[@declanbowley4578]

Anyone else catch his name is Kane? These are the mfs raising Kane (please tell me someone understands the joke)

[@joshanddarin]

kane is based off of a family name not the biblical one

[@declanbowley4578]

@joshanddarin no it's a joke about the fast food place "Raising Cane's", sorry

[@MSANTHR0P3]

Your wife is easily manipulated by your kids. Stick to what you're thinking

[@beatricecooper60]

FYI: Children do not understand what lying is until the age of 10 years old.

[@angietsiganova9143]

LIE 😂😂😂😂😂

[@professorswaggamuffin7572]

​@angietsiganova9143 you 10 yet?

[@dotcassilles1488]

That's not fact. Children can be taught the difference between truth, lying and imagination /stories very young. I worked in childcare. Children as young as 4 years old know the difference between a lie and the truth.

[@bingorfm724]

You’re funny.

[@professorswaggamuffin7572]

@@beatricecooper60 I thought the age of reason was 7 yo.