We Need To Talk About Inappropriate Age Gaps.

[@nikkicarreon]

Click here bit.ly/49Y06jK to take the quiz and use my code for 50% off your first order! I love Care/Of and I know you will too :)

[@peachpixiedust]

I'll die on this hill with you Nikki, age gaps need this conversation so bad. As someone who was groomed at 14, I can't even date someone 5 years older than me at this point, people have told me I'm weird or making a big deal out of nothing for turning down a 26y/o when I was 20. I genuinely can't be around older men who show interest in me it makes my skin crawl

[@peachpixiedust]

I would absolutely watch a part two !!

[@kezia8027]

just a reminder to everyone, unless your DOCTOR with an actual medical degree says you need vitamins, then you are literally wasting your money. Vitamins are one of the biggest medical scams in the world, with a markup of hundreds to thousands of percent compared to generic versions you can get from a grocery store. Don't waste your money on vitamins, just go to your Doctor and follow their advice.

[@Ilovefelines]

Do a part two and you should especially talk about Charlie Heatons relationship with an adult while he was 18 or something and groomed him into having a child. It’s so sad

[@radicalpaprika1720]

BEGGING for that part 2 🙏

[@zarinapena5846]

Lil fun fact about Priscilla: Jacob Elordi got casted for his menancing aura and his overpowering height. The purprose was making Elvis visually more predatory.

[@kayland.5724]

Lol he is quite menacing isn't he?

[@zarinapena5846]

@@kayland.5724 He can bring that seriousness and uncomfortable aura, besides his height making him more terrifying, I understand why they have casted him as Frankenstein's Monster for an upcoming movie.

[@gildanonofyabiznez6430]

Jacob would have killed that role tbh

[@mirandabee2323]

Clever casting, then!

[@niteblooms]

I watched an interview they did with him and the star of Priscilla, and he was hunching and stood with his legs far apart to appear shorter. I thought it was sweet and thoughtful he knows that his height can be intimidating.

[@greenbeanb]

it's crazy how Harry Styles was involved with so many adult women when he was a teenager and instead of the media talking about how creepy it was HE got framed as a "womanizer" who likes older women

[@Coralcomets]

RIGHT! It's always the younger one who gets blamed it is disgusting, he is nowhere close to a womanizer from what I've seen. Like Taylor Swift's ten year age gap with Jake Gyllenhaal (She was barely 20, he was almost 30), sure her fans all hate him, but there's a disgusting lot that blames Taylor and calling her a slut.

[@jonluoni1290]

​@@Monkchelle_Kongbamanot if he was a child you goober. Think with your brain.

[@Serjo777]

Maybe because it's not a big deal (rather _no_ deal at all), welcome to human nature?

[@freshskittles92]

oh you have a close relationship with him?@@Monkchelle_Kongbama

[@Notmycupofteasistar]

​@@Serjo777 reverse the sexes and then its suddenly sexual harrasment

[@glitchedphoenix7521]

if your "soulmate" is 14 theres something very very wrong with you

[@justjoannak]

Agreed

[@zapazap]

Ones soulmate had to be 14 at one point.

[@MillyThe_Rat]

​@@zapazap sure, if you were between the age of 12 and 16 while they did so, yes

[@zapazap]

@@MillyThe_Rat Even if not, one's soulmate had to be 14 at one point. There are no exceptions to my claim. If your soulmate is currently over 14, your soulmate *had* to be 14 at one point. It makes no diffference the age differential. It is of mathematical necessiy. No 'ifs' about it.

[@ULTIMATEINUYASHAFAN]

the point is if you are a !grown adult! and u claim ur sulfate is a 14 year old kid, didn't think that would go over anyone's head omg

[@Oceanebey]

Fun fact, Emanuel Macron (the president of France) is married with his teacher ( Brigitte Macron)

[@Romantic_Juliet]

Sounds very "fun"- 🫥

[@meanpeppershaker5743]

We do indeed take the piss out of him time and again for that yeah...

[@icycrea-mx]

Le gars c'est une victime et il arrive encore à être une ordure

[@kyliesmith2004]

Saying that "times were different" is a bull crap excuse. In the 1950s٫ the family show Leave it to Beaver has an episode where Wally٫ a teenage minor٫ dates an adult woman. This is treated VERY seriously by his family and friends and Wally is played as a victim throughout the episode. People know when things are wrong.

[@hermanubis96]

knowing that something is wrong doesn't mean that it doesn't happen in real life still. art should be made on things that are problematic about real life to create a conversation about it. if you think a movie or a work of fiction showing something problematic means it's endorsing it, then you're too stupid to understand art.

[@kyliesmith2004]

@@hermanubis96 depiction and normalization are two VERY different things. Leave it to Beaver was a show aimed at children and families, so they had a responsibility to show grooming as wrong. It's the same thing with media aimed at teenagers.

[@hermanubis96]

@@kyliesmith2004 it’s not the movie’s fault if social media teenagers miss the point because the actors are attractive. people missing the point doesn’t mean that the movie is attempting normalization

[@karanaher5030]

​@@hermanubis96The movies were attempting normalization. Hollywood has a massive pedophile problem, be it old celebrities in their 30s dating teens or celebrities being a regulers of Epstein's island.

[@ithinkiwoulddie9196]

Also people back then married young- as in like two 17 year olds getting married, not 14 marrying a 27 year old. My great grandmother married at 17 but her husband was also around her age.

[@Martykun36]

seeing a creator feel the need to explain who Elvis is has been the biggest reality check in a while for me

[@Bluman2]

I don't think Elvis is any less ubiquitous than he ever has been, it's just good practice to give background on things in your videos whether or not you think everyone knows about it

[@osmanyousif7849]

That he’s a villain? Because I guess that makes Colonel Parker the hero all along.

[@Error4x5]

Elvis has been dead for almost 50 years. Meaning millions have no clue who he is now a days

[@LukeKido]

@@Error4x5 Sure, I was born in 92 and the only thing I know about him is he engaged and married with a kid/teen and used to eat a sandwich called fool's gold. Although I'm aware he's considered the king of some music genre (can't remember which now), have never been exposed to his music. Just for context I'm from Brazil, so guess my ancestors were too engaged in Bossa Nova at the time and I can't blame them, it's too good. *King of rock

[@caseyd9471]

For me it was 'the twist no one saw coming' about Woody Allen's sketchy behavior.

[@hayliekendall7995]

im a teacher and I HATE how the student teacher relationship thing is always fetishistic and romanticized in tv. so yes I would love to see a video about that because people don't talk about it aloot

[@lenocturnefan4258]

Yeah, even in school! At least in mine, I had to read a book about a relationship like that in 9th grade. I remember it was more of an guardianship relationship instead of a teacher-student one, though, but it doesn't make it any less iffy.

[@kaleidoscloop]

The power dynamic is gross and the fallout never ends well.

[@sittinginbushes]

I hate seeing it even in fanfiction, it makes me sick to my stomach. why is it so fricking popular (I know why but still ew)

[@Mizushimeee]

Literally in a show called riverdale where theres a teenage boy who got groomed by his teacher and have sex and that sht was so creepy to me. And the show didn’t even mentioned it was p3dophilic, they even mock the boy for it

[@UnicornsPoopRainbows]

​@Mizushimeee Riverdale is TERRIBLE. The showrunner basically used the characters like his dolls, living out his fantasies. He does the same for each show he is involved in. Netflix's Sabrina wasn't too bad but the s3x scenes felt very forced and unnecessary. Literally did nothing for the plot.

[@milk8914]

My mom dated a 25 yr old when she was only 14 in the late 70s. She even ran away with him for months and my grandparents allowed this. She still to this day acts like the whole thing was normal, but she is extremely mentally dysfunctional and suffered with addictions her whole life. Times were different, but there's is a reason times changed. People now understand the long term damage of these types of relationships.

[@giotheflow]

​@@jimmcneal5292fbi open up

[@crazyducklady5500]

@@jimmcneal5292 A 14 yr old dating a 25 yr old is not normal...

[@jimmcneal5292]

@@crazyducklady5500 it is. And should become legal again(and it will, the only question is when)

[@jimmcneal5292]

@@haleyfowler193 crazy pietists will always exist, all we, sane people, can do is to ignore those

[@crazyducklady5500]

@@jimmcneal5292 So, its normal for a full adult to date a barely teenager?

[@doefarris2189]

Calling Priscilla Elvis' "soulmate" is fucking wild since he was emotionally and physically done with her after she had Lisa Marie because he couldn't see her as a girl and a mother at the same time (according to Priscilla herself), because surprise, surprise, he's just a nonce.

[@Mari-od1ir]

Also There is no such thing as having ONE soulmate. Your friends, family, new love can be your soulmate too. You can have multiple soulmates :)

[@rachelmarie7473]

​@@Mari-od1irif you believe in soul mates at all, it's silly to say you can't only have 1.

[@Lemoncakelover678]

And Pricilla was 14 while Elvis was like in his 20s when they were together or sm. It was bad enough with lolita but now their romanticising a real predatory relationship

[@immkk1125]

@@rachelmarie7473it’s silly to say you can ONLY have one, imo. it reinforces even more the idea of « finding THE one » leading to a whole bunch of issues, not to mention the damage and harm that can result from ppl trying to « keep the one ». i’m a strong believer in soul mates (not soulmates) as in people we used to know in the soul realm ✨ it’s a very endearing way to think of those we know and love (or not so much).

[@livvlife]

@@Mari-od1irsure, but usually soulmate is used in a romantic context, and that’s what the movie was referring too. So 1 soulmate.

[@kayland.5724]

I *hate* when people are willing to accept predatory behavior when it's someone attractive or when it's an older woman with a younger - boy. *Edit:* y'all - *sigh* my friends, I'm not talking about lgbtqia+ right now. If I was, I would've said so.

[@carelessdreamer]

@catfart.Unfortunately, older men are overrepresented whether it’s young men or young women. Because those types of “relationships” are based on feelings of power rather than affection or even attraction. It’s nice here that the call me by your name section mentioned that anyone can be creepy

[@carelessdreamer]

@catfart. Statistics? I think you missed what I was saying, but the comment was rambling so I get it. Just mentioning the most common offenders seen when it comes to that type of abuse.

[@Batman-ux1nf]

its called being a milf

[@elusiveDEVIANT]

I hate how you clowns can't get over yourselves. Truly pathetic.

[@Illyriad]

@@carelessdreamer No, you're just sexist.

[@joshrandolph7718]

A 10 year age gap is definitely NOT a problem, the problem is the ages they are when they are dating, 14 and 24 is bad and problematic, but 30 and 40 is NOT bad or problematic

[@mahismelodies3685]

...yes, yes it is

[@k00ki3izkrazy]

@@mahismelodies3685how so ? There’s a huge difference between 2 full grown adults and one that’s barely an adult and the other is.

[@joshrandolph7718]

@@mahismelodies3685 No, it's not. If you say a 30 year old woman can't make their own decision to date a 40 year old man then your basically saying "all women are children who aren't mature or responsible enough to make their own dating decisions". She's a grown woman, not someone who just turned 18.

[@biezom.]

@@mahismelodies3685 wait until u find out about most parents 💀

[@ChocolateisIsNice]

@@mahismelodies3685 Nah 30 and 40 is fine. If you have a problem with that too you're just judgemental.

[@donotlendbookstome7923]

There were never any incidents where my dad was grossly sexually inappropriate towards me, but “Roman Polanski did nothing wrong” was the hill he wanted to die on, and when I was 13, his insistence that I was a full fucking adult basically groomed me for predators. The thing that saved me, ironically, was stealing his battered paperback copy of Lolita; because as fucked as every subsequent adaptation - including those authored by Nabokov himself - were, the original text functioned very, very well as an indictment of any adult who would’ve been interested in me at the age of 13. (But apparently, that was not a point my dad took away from the novel, or from the experience of literally being my parent.) TL/dr: My dad fucking sucks and I no longer speak to him, but reading Lolita at 13 served to warn me away from adults who sexualized me.

[@nomoerr]

Man, I hope ure doing okay. It's really tragic to have a family member u've spent years of ur life with have immoral beliefs.

[@soaringspirits2267]

Hot damn. I hope bro is ok now. Going through those realizations are. So awful.

[@down-kg8mt]

I'm so sorry❤

[@roboticgays]

good ur going ok now and i agree with u literally all of the movie adaptations of lolita depicy HER as the initiator and its frustrating

[@becausejustbecause.5407]

Had a similar, but not nearly as bad experience with my own dad. Don't know if he realized what he was saying or what he meant by it, but he basically stated that since I am formally recognized by the church (AKA I chose to go through confirmation at 15, bc I like the singing part of going to church, and our priest is chill), I am basically an adult. He never did anything, but sometimes, again very rarely, there'd be some weird short comments that I just don't like. Creeped me out a little, especially bc he didn't only say it once, but I might've turned paranoid because of the internet and stuff? I am both very trusting and very suspicious of everything, so I both think everyone has an ulterior motive at the same time as I think everything is sunshine and rainbows. A very confusing pair.

[@vikkirademacher2039]

The weird age gap wasn’t even the biggest problem with No Hard Feelings for me. It was the fact that she was constantly pressuring her to engage in sexual acts when he very clearly was uncomfortable. It was so weird.

[@eminafetahovic9762]

To be fair i watched it yesterday and she was kinda pushy but when she saw he was uncomfortable or unhappy or sth happened and he didnt want to she was kind to him and didnt push further.

[@sebastianrioux]

& the fact the parents were so obsessed with their son having sex that they directly intervene in the creepiest of ways ?? Ick

[@Doneofpeople]

Dude, to me BOTH things are weird, you just can't date a very young guy at that stage of your life..

[@xmoreno3366]

creppy

[@Mizushimeee]

No but his parents are also pressuring her to get into him is so icky

[@GayForShinHati]

My parents have a nine year age gap. To adults, age gaps become less of a big deal when they’re adults. But at that note, my parents didn’t even know each other until they were both adults. Even my parents will agree, a 14 year old dating a grown ass man is not okay.

[@fortytwo4-2]

yeah, like a 35 year old dating a 45 year old really doesn't matter as long as they're both consenting adults.

[@livvlife]

Exactly, some gaps definitely change depending on the stages of life….for example, a 15 and 20 year old dating is inappropriate af, but a 20 and 25 year old isn’t a very big deal, or a 23 and 28 yr old, ext.

[@thelingeringartist]

@@livvlifeI dunno… those still seem iffy to me. I feel like still even between the age of 20-25 there’s still development going on in peoples brains at that age… or trying to get adjusted… idk.

[@livvlife]

@@thelingeringartist ok yea 20-25 is fair, I see that now. 23-27 or 25-30 and stuff seems fine.

[@DorothyOHumdrum]

⁠@@thelingeringartistpeople 18 -25 are adults but theyre still finding themselves, so the ethical concerns of age gap relationships for these people depends on a case by case basis, but generally high schoolers should always be off limits for sex/romance doesnt matter if theyre 18 or 19 theyre stuck in a institution designed for children

[@britb7187]

The author of Call Me By Your Name said he finds 12 y/o girls attractive soooo i think that says everything i need to know about him and his work

[@EzraOli]

IM SORRY WHAT???? 😀

[@kaileighmarie3032]

NO BC HUH?

[@Bebe_Birde]

No that film is so nasty bro

[@lulianjuliuswassbach]

Dude, the author is literally known for being scandalous. There's no proof he ever started anything with a 12-year-old.

[@kaileighmarie3032]

@@lulianjuliuswassbach it said he finds them attractive, not they had anything to do with each other sexually.

[@hydropipedurmom]

a few months is okay 1 year is okay 2 years is okay 10 years between an adult and a teenager is not okay

[@LesbianKimDokja]

anything is okay (ish) as long as theyre both around 21-25 or over (i say 21-25 because thats the time when most peoples brains are fully finished development)

[@hydropipedurmom]

@@LesbianKimDokja That's a great example, yeah. Honestly, huge age gaps are fine if you're both *consenting legal adults* and actually love and care about each other

[@fatimahanwaar306]

@@hydropipedurmom you're delusional this "consenting legal adults" excuse doesn't make age gap relationships any better! this idea that they "love and care for each other" is all just a facade! stop being delusional!

[@hydropipedurmom]

@@fatimahanwaar306 I'm not going to tell someone to break up just because they're 28 and their partner is 40. If you're FRESH out of highschool, it's completely different,.

[@fatimahanwaar306]

@@hydropipedurmom you're delusional if you think of any criticism against age gap relationships dismissing it as "telling people to break up" you're uneducated a 28 year old dating a 40 year old is EQUALLY as wrong as dating someone "fresh out of high school" it's never "different" two wrongs don't make a right! educate yourself and stop trying to act like you're so "open minded"

[@stephaniem2071]

One of the MANY good things that BoJack Horseman does is call out this behavior (especially with celebrities), how messed up it is, and the effects it has on the victims and the perpetrators. SPOILERS: When Penny (17) and BoJack (in his 40s by then) almost have sex, Charlotte (Penny's mom) catches them and immediately cuts ties with BoJack, making him lose someone who he loved for years. As time went on, we saw that that night had a negative effect on Penny as she matured, realizing how messed up it was. "I was 17, I didn't know any better." It even bites BoJack in the back later on during his interview and relationships with others.

[@Gh0stcrumbsofficial]

I still see people trying to justify it by saying PENNY was the one who took advantage of him

[@BeccaGhusn]

@@Gh0stcrumbsofficial what the fuck?

[@MyFatherLooksLikeAPallasCat]

YES! The point of Bojack is not to idolise him. It is an explanation of how a person spirals down so hard, not an excuse. The moment you relate with Bojack, you are supposed to seek help and take accountability, as he does towards the end of the show.

[@theannoyingdog]

Not to mention sarah-lynn who he was literally a father figure to when she was like 10

[@icravedeath.1200]

​​@@MyFatherLooksLikeAPallasCati haven't watched it yet but my bro said that bojack is 'a fucking mess' personified, I've seen a few episodes and i agree with him.

[@DaileyDoseOfJoseph]

"times were different back then" is just as good as "boys will be boys"

[@justjoannak]

Agreed

[@zapazap]

There was a time when courtships had parental oversight.

[@247Barcaro]

Nope ." Back then" means they were dumb, we know more now. "BWBB" means that's just how it is, it's useless to try and change it.

[@trekkiejunk]

That's not at all the same. Times WERE different. But additionally, culture is not a monolith based on the year. Just like today, different cultures all over America (and the world) have different standards of morality. And to ignore the heavy influence of your childhood, you church, your community, your school, your parents, etc in the formation of your personal ethics and acceptance of societal standards is completely naive. I'm a socialist, atheist, pacifist, pro-LGBT queer guy. There are countless people that agree with most of my ethics, and countless more people who disagree with them. And to pretend like Mississippi and Tennessee in the 1930's, 40's and 50's (when Elvis was growing up) was not a society that accepted a lot of different standards than we expect today is just complete ignorance of reality.

[@gaylittlegoblin]

@@247Barcaro its useless to try to change abuse, rape, grooming and sexual assault? cuz thats the only time people say "boys will be boys"

[@fathertedczynski]

I'm so glad you included examples of different gendered relationships. This isn't an issue involving creepy old men with a young girl (although most of them are), but a deep-rooted issue that can exist in any relationship. There are also so many films that play down other power imbalances, but ones involving age gaps are particularly poignant.

[@xeniaa777]

@@horse3987 that's literally what they said, read their comment again

[@horse3987]

@chogboogus nah, just the comment is worded so wrong

[@cloudbasedbear]

also the creepy women who date younger teens... but for some reason get overlooked

[@Danimal4321]

You're being ridiculous

[@trashcan7594]

@@cloudbasedbear unfortunately incels will overlook those kinds of "relationships" as long as the woman in question is conventionally attractive

[@Sid.Hyeana]

Grooming with celebrity's is very often over looked, especially male victims. One notable person is Aaron taylor-johnson, he was 17 when he met his future wife of 45. She was a director on a film he was acting in. They started dating when he turned 18.

[@GirlyFish42069]

She actually knew him since he was 6 but waited until he was 18 to baby-trap him.

[@soaringspirits2267]

Oh good gosh. The reply is further horrifying.

[@VeryMidArt_Tehe]

45-18=27 27 YEAR AGE GAP. THAT IS WILD

[@sassymermaid_101]

​@@soaringspirits2267 I second that

[@DarlingS.A.M]

​@@GirlyFish42069 I did not think it could get worse but it just did with a few words... These types of people shouldn't exist

[@matzmilan7780]

These things are weird, when I was a 14 old boy I "dated" a 19 year old girl. We were into anime, we met at an anime convention, she spoke to me and we started to talk about bleach. She always said how I was so mature and not stupid like the dudes her age, that made me feel very good at the time but now that I think about it I think it was weird because she used to get jaleous of me talking to my classmates, she used to say "You are just a kid" when she was angry at me, and it's funny because I was very close to be a kid lol.

[@SuperDooperGacha]

I’m sorry that happened to you it is terrible it’s disgusting

[@manosijroy8282]

Our age gap is bad too? I turned 23 just about 3 weeks ago and like a girl who is 19. We went on a date 3 months ago when we were 19 and 22. She is still 19 and will turn 20 in April so we will be 19 and 23 for a bit over 3 months and finally we will be 20 and 23 after her birthday in April so we are only 3 years 3 months apart in age. She is in 2nd year 4th semester of college and I just graduated 5-6 months ago and I am a soon to be an MBA student and wrote exams for it last month. I feel hesitant as I see many people on reddit says 19 and 23 is weird.

[@matzmilan7780]

@@manosijroy8282 eh I think it's fine, but it's on my limit

[@matzmilan7780]

@@SuperDooperGacha thanks, fortunately I was able to leave that stuff behind.

[@lollybowser]

​@@Schneekatzchen14 and 20 ok then? 13 and 19? 12 and 18?🤨

[@hannah-kv8bd]

I feel like age gaps are fine most of the time as long as you meet when YOURE BOTH GROWN ADULTS the problem with these is that one person is always a literal child

[@christiantrent1030]

There's people who meet in highschool with age gaps of 17-18 or 18-16, thats not uncommon or weird at all. what WOULD be weird is meeting someone who's outside highschool with an age gap of 17 and 20.

[@hannah-kv8bd]

@@christiantrent1030 yea, I meant more like larger age gaps, you’re totally right about smaller ones

[@christiantrent1030]

@jerms_mcerms9231 I guess but that’s not what the laws are? And what do you mean “being an adult is changing in the legal sense” what is your proof of this. I do still agree tho that 18 imo is still technically a kid or “young adult”

[@beththedarkmage3359]

I think they want some specifics so they can find the exact data you're talking about, most people on YT are aware direct links and sources get flagged by the moderator bots. Things like what country you're talking about, whether this information is on a government website or not, and which laws specifically (eg., alcohol, cigarette or energy drink use or sale). Any of that could help with further study :) We all have bad days, but bringing up a point and then getting mad at someone when they wanna learn more isn't very kind, please reconsider next time.@jerms_mcerms9231

[@christiantrent1030]

@jerms_mcerms9231 because you made a statement? If your gonna make statements like what you said then you should back it up atleast when asked, if you don’t want to fine but I was legit just asking.

[@MistySophie]

"Call me by your name" always made me uncomfortable. I remember my friends fangirling over it because it was 2 boys, while I only saw an age gap and a sus relationship

[@noxart2410]

Saaamme!!! I was so sure that this was the aim tbh. I was uncomfortable for the whole movie and thought that this was what was expected of the viewer. You can imagine my surprise when I went on the internet afterwards haha 😅

[@lonnekaward]

Same, my old friend loooved it, but the whole premise just made me feel weird. We even had arguments over it?!

[@zeleor6954]

Same, I’m a queer person and I CANNOT stand this movie. But I do know my cishet childhood friend likes it 💀

[@gr4ys0nq]

frrr. it just pisses me off that gay representation in film almost always has to be so creepy or stereotyped😭

[@lycheemyusic]

yall that one song about two guys being in a relationship (montero) i wonder if it references this in the lyrics. :/

[@ChristopherRosales-f1p]

I saw Call Me By Your Name in theatres and was uncomfortable the entire time. When people clapped at the end and said how much they liked it i was mind boggled.... weird experience.

[@niles8102]

Also, Pochahontas was a child when John Smith met her! Disney has a BUNCH of their tales depict these romances but they turn a blind eye at the fact that a lot of the Disney princesses were literally children in reality!

[@Gh0stcrumbsofficial]

Snow White being 14 threw me for a loop because my entire childhood I thought she was a grown woman. So many Disney princesses are kids that date grown men. Like Flynn Rider and Rapunzel are 18 and 26, Rapunzel being 17 when they meet. It’s genuinely so disgusting to realize how many of our favorite childhood stories have these kinds of aspects about them. I have a hard time watching Disney nowadays because of the fact

[@LjuboCupic1912]

@@Gh0stcrumbsofficial I don't think it would be wild to assume that they're aged up in the Disney versions. Snow White certainly doesn't look 14.

[@lovelysartstudio8299]

@@LjuboCupic1912Disney ages her up to 14. The original story, Snow White was 7

[@LjuboCupic1912]

@@lovelysartstudio8299 Jesus… so we have a relationship between a seven year old and a thirty year old in one version, which is layers on top of layers of fucked up, and a fourteen year old and an eighteen year old in the other, which isn’t as fucked up but is still really bad. Fantastic.

[@starrsmith3810]

@@Gh0stcrumbsofficiali don’t think the prince is actually 31. At most probably 18, which okay that’s still weird but 31 is kinda an over exasperation. Flynn and Rapunzel don’t start dating until she’s 18. Plus Disney deaged Flynn a little bit in the series which admittedly if they really cared that much about the age difference, they should’ve just had him be 23 from the get go.

[@abizzarecyph]

I feel like it's very intentional that almost all of the fiction age gaps have the younger character as a 17yo. it's an age that is easier for people to excuse because of how close it is to being a legal adult, but it's still young enough to be able to say stuff like "I'm/you're dating a high schooler"

[@darkstarr984]

There are high schoolers who are 18 and 19 though, so I don’t know why they don’t do something like that, or the teenager has been emancipated and is graduating early. It’s got interesting story potential.

[@snethies]

@@darkstarr984probably because they want them to still be considered a minor

[@prosperenfantinylosgeograf2721]

@@darkstarr984 And tbh I also find it weird when it's like, it's okay the moment they are 18. Like you do not become unimaginably wiser the day you turn 18. 18-40 would be gross to me lol. Age gaps should still be small until approx 21 imo. I feel like if at 22 you wanna date a 40yo you have more experience and agency and stuff.

[@ÖVËR-p2h]

Fr dude even if they are 18 I would still be weirded out of sum1 older than like 22 tried to date them. Like how is it okay that the day they turn 18 they're allowed to date anybody way older than them. I feel like 19 should be the norm of dating older ppl cuz at least at that point you'd be out of high school.

[@Laura-fd7ej]

Yes, thanks for bringing that on point!

[@cowoljarwoff]

As a gay man, I am SO f***ing sick of Call My By Your Name being the "quintessential" gay movie. I feel like the ONLY gay man on this planet who is like "HELLO??? IT'S LITERALLY ABOUT A PEDO WITH A CHILD, AND IT'S CONSIDERED THE MOST ROMANTIC SH** OF ALL TIME?!?"

[@dylanh9021]

real this is not the representation we want 😭

[@erihhy]

lol the only thing i liked about that movie was its aesthetic 😆 and the mom is pretty

[@ehrenschnitzel]

For real. And my queer and non-queer friends looked at me weird for disliking the movie. Call me by your name isn’t a great gay movie, besides being aesthetically pleasing. They want to justify it with „oh in Italy it’s legal“… just because it’s legal doesn’t mean it’s morally correct

[@terranceorwhatever60]

And, personally from what ive seen, its mostly straight girls saying that the older guy was sweet to him and how they shoulda ended up together its so weird 😭

[@Dhruv.s03]

I watched it when I was like 14 and at that time I had only watched CMBYN and Love Simon, which I thought were both beautiful movies. It's only now when I look back, I can see how terrible CMBYN is. The age gap thing was so unnecessary, the movie apart from it is beautiful, but was Elio being 17 really necessary?? (Don't even get me started on the book it's just Elio being a horny teenager lmao)

[@zackreagin8384]

Also disturbing is how many men there are who feel like there's no problem with an older woman commiting statutory rape with an underage boy if they find the woman attractive. I've heard many guys make comments like "lucky guy" in response to news stories about high school teachers having sex with students.

[@moonie_str]

frrr like wtf do you mean 'lucky' that's traumatising for many people. You should be supporting them, not down playing a horrific situation

[@STAYGENEAYEDOMINO125]

​@@moonie_strfr

[@EternalHunter420]

Uhmm maybe cause the boy consented to what was happening and was himself proud of doing it ? Now if he was complaining about it then yeah that’s fucked up. But you can’t say “rape” when the kid is consenting to what he’s aware of doing.

[@kristat8176]

Yes it's not okay

[@somnumisdumb]

​@@EternalHunter420 what if the boy was brainwashed to consent? how about that?? just say you defend pedos and get lost

[@Cloudystxrr]

tbh lolita (the book) is actually a really good representation of grooming. it's disclosed in the beginning that it's written from the perspective of the predator and that he is an unreliable narrator. it gives insight into the way this guy thinks. the movie totally erases all of that and romanticizes a book that isn't supposed to be a romance. same thing with killing stalking; its a horror manhwa but for some reason people romanticize it and act like its a romance.

[@bunny.ribbit]

people who think “killing stalking” is a romance are unhinged.

[@starlit-rain]

Thank you for mentioning both of these. It drives me crazy how people do not understand their obvious true meaning and choose to believe it's ""romance"" 💀

[@1000huzzahs]

"Lolita Podcast" is so good. It can be a difficult listen but it's SO IMPORTANT in terms of properly understanding the book. The people who glorify works like that are telling on themselves so hard. I think even the original French publisher was like "I hope this helps people see that relationships like this can be acceptable."

[@VickiB-h9k]

I totally agree with you.

[@VickiB-h9k]

isn't everyone unhinged in someway. @@bunny.ribbit

[@sophiita8711]

I remember reading Call me by your name and throw it away when I found out about the age gap. I was 14 and watching people say "in Italy it's legal if he's older than 14" actually scared me. edit: no hate to Italians lmao it's just weird that people go and LEARN about the age of concent of countries to try to justify this shit

[@cl8804]

obviously it's legal; only these jewnited shitholes of america has an AoC at 18, yikes

[@highdefinition450]

sell it back, don't throw away books lol

[@sophiita8711]

@@highdefinition450 it was just a saying, no books were harmed in this story

[@zaja2418]

Did you, by chance, get called a homophobe? Some people got real defensive when I pointed out to them that a grown man having sex with a teenager was... problematic, to say the least. I asked them if they would change their minds were this a movie depicting a heterosexual pair, and they just called me a bigot, lol.

[@remuslupiin]

​@@zaja2418as a gay person, anyone who says that ur a bigot or a homophobe for calling out how weird the relationship was, is not right in the head. whether its a homosexual or heterosexual relationship with that type of age gap, its still weird!

[@toxic_masculintiy]

Lolita the book is so crazy to me because the book is a critique of western beauty standards around being youthful and looking young and also making fun of pedophiles. Like the whole reason Lolita is viewed the way it is, is A) It an unreliable narrator that is a pedophile and B) When it got published, grown men who reviewed the book said Humbert Humbert WAS THE VICTIM OF DOLORES(aka lolita). Vladimir Nobokov was very explicit too about how he wanted the book lolita to be marketed, which was it to just be a neutral color with the books name and nothing else. Once he died a lot of publishing companies started using "feminine" colors for the books, using imagery of like a girl stepping on gum, or like the copy of the book I own, a young woman's lips with cursive writing below the picture. Like Lolita is a book bullying pedophiles at best and at worst defending pedophiles

[@lizdexamphetamine]

idk what publishing house moves from but there's at least one recent concert that's just a table/still life vase

[@alisonmercer5946]

Reminds me of people thinking Travis in taxi driver is a hero and omg all the people who quote and admire Tony Montana 😂

[@alisonmercer5946]

Tony Montana if anyone thinks he's a hero , run run run away😂😂😂 gosh if that's not a perfect example of toxic masculinity wt f is. What h e does to his sister and best friend . Yeah real aspurational dude 😅

[@alisonmercer5946]

nabakov was a victim of sa

[@diyasalam3742]

@@alisonmercer5946Same with people who think fight club and American psycho are movies you should live by

[@kyleigh3299]

I'd say that comparing the statements "Elvis groomed Priscilla" and "the Earth is round" is actually very accurate, since both are true but if you say them you run the risk of having some *truly* annoying, vile, and just plain ridiculous people trying to argue with you about it and being *extremely* attached to their weird, wrong opinions

[@saphireblue3563]

Elvis did not groom Priscilla. He left her in Germany at 14, didn't see her again until she was 16, then didn't see her again until she was two months short of 18. She spent her teenage years in Germany dating a slew of different guys.

[@roach-sama3503]

@@saphireblue3563ur literally the person the comment is talking about lmao

[@saphireblue3563]

@@roach-sama3503 Well my husband was 13 years older than me. It had absolutely no bearing on anything. No effect whatsoever.

[@KuKu_frog]

@@saphireblue3563ur just proving ur weird with this statement 😭

[@saphireblue3563]

@@KuKu_frog I don't go the way the wind blows. I have to have a logical reason to believe something.

[@headphonetherapy9222]

PRISCILLA WASNT EVEN A SOPHOMORE SHE WAS LIKE FREDHMAN/8TH GRADE AGE WHICH IS LITERALLY MIDDLE SCHOOL IT MAKES ME SO MAD

[@cloudoholic]

this shi got me tweaking fr 💀💀

[@nameofthename]

yeah. i was in 8th grade when i was 14. started 9th grade at 14 too but turned 15 a few months after.

[@khaliyahjefferson832]

@@nameofthename When I was 15 all remember was learning how to multiple double digits and crap

[@Nellyc1]

POP OFFFFFF

[@brookecroff7166]

woody allen writing a movie for himself where he plays a pedophile is 0% shocking but wow that is unabashed

[@straww_berryyy]

Everything i learned about that man has been against my will but holy fuck does he creep me out

[@DecoraGarfoid]

I was listening to this video. Then I finally looked and OF COURSE it's Woody Allen 🤣😭

[@moderna73]

It gets worse when you hear about the behind the scenes on this movie. The actress playing the 17 year was underage and he tried to get her to go to Paris with him but wouldn’t get her a separate hotel room so she turned him down. After she turned him down he went back and wrote an intimate love scene so he could cop the feels without her refusing. Just disgusting,

[@goodbher9244]

Woody Allen wrote MULTIPLE movies about men bangin' kids. He's gross.

[@TjokoCow]

This only bothers me because YES Woody allen is a terrible gremlin boy, his movies are good because they talk about why he acts the way he does (lonely/reclusive/stepdaughterdatingsim) And also there are some cute movies

[@sighcantthinkofaname]

Another version of this trope is the one-episode one off in sitcoms, "Women in her 20's sleeps with a 17 year old and is embarrassed when she learned his age" It happens in Friends, Greek, and Emily in Paris.

[@84rinne_moo]

Thank you!! That is SOOO weird to me!!

[@bluueorb]

Or “woman who is married and bangs the gardener and he ends up being a highschooler and somehow it’s on the younger guy for being ‘in the middle of the marriage’ when dude is a child” (Desperate Housewives)

[@chikentendersandfries]

@@bluueorbWHAT

[@liviemillie6455]

yeeah you really need to know someone's age BEFORE you sleep with them ...

[@suspiciousstar7547]

It's insane how people even DO ANYTHING with someone they don't even know of, let alone the AGES. It's just so weird...

[@aubreyirene4059]

OMG the idea of “it ended in heartbreak so it’s fine” insane take. At 16 I became friends with a 22 year old who had a girlfriend and 2 kids. During a summer we spent a lot of time together and I “fell in love” but in reality I had a bad home life and he was an escape and the only person who gave me attention. He told me all the time how he wish he could be with me and sleep with me but couldn’t because of my age. Also that I was “jailbait”. Before anything super serious happened (even though his actions were ramping up) he moved back in with his girlfriend. Technically with that view it’s “fine” cause it ended in my heartbroken cause he denied me but F No! That guy is a creep and needs to be on a list. I hate that view.

[@kj.4977]

Agreed!

[@saphireblue3563]

Well your guy obviously did you wrong. But it had nothing to do with your age difference.

[@havcola6983]

"At 16 I became friends with a 22 year old who had a girlfriend and 2 kids. " Amazing how a single sentence in the right context can tell you everything you need to know about a guy

[@shambhavi3349]

Call Me By Your Name has always just seemed similar to Lolita to me... its sad how people will actually ignore men being groomed (by men or women) and act like its the most romantic thing in the world

[@moonyyuu8834]

I totally get what people mean when they say relationships like this are immoral or wrong in their eyes. But to completely bash the legality of it regardless of the country it's from simply provides a sense of unreasonable pride. America is not the only continent, and in fact, holds the least influence on the rest of the world. I seriously don't know where we came up with the idea that if America says it, it goes. No matter what your point is, it should never be okay to consider the laws of another nation unacceptable (except if it's tyranny in a way). At the end of the day, Elio and Oliver's relationship is completely legal and there is absolutely nothing we Americans can do about it. Leave it alone. You can comment on our problems but not the laws of another country, continent, or nation. That is just straight up disrespectful, and I couldn't care less of the point you'd be trying to make if you'd have to come to ignorance like that to make it. Disgusting.

[@OreoCookieCrumble]

​@@moonyyuu8834Dude they're not even talking about laws. Get bent bot

[@z.s.r.h]

@@moonyyuu8834no gay people can be groomed just as easily as anyone else. i'm sorry but even if it's legal it doesn't make it moral lol.

[@moonyyuu8834]

@@OreoCookieCrumble I'm not flexible enough for that.

[@shambhavi3349]

@@moonyyuu8834 i get your point but im not american and also im 17, i couldn't even imagine dating a 24 year old... that just seems wrong and illegal... im in highschool and a 24 year old has graduated from high school and college and probably has a job, so they are 2 phases of life ahead of me (if that makes sense), hence they are bound to be much more mature than me. I mean at the end of the movie, Elio was the one left crying, wondering if what they had was even real, while Oliver just gets to move on with his life and get married, further showing how Elio is young and less experienced with "flings" while for oliver, it was just a fling. I dont think anyone can justify a full grown adult wanting to mingle with a kid who's in/ barely out of highschool... just because some cultures are still okay with it (saying this as a person of another culture) doesnt mean its right

[@LavenderLydia]

I would have liked a section where grooming is addressed appropriately in media. EDIT: Y'all really need to stop saying Lolita. Everybody knows about Lolita.

[@eduardarodrigues3901]

I think the new gossip girl kinda does that has a sub plot. Its between a student an a teacher

[@veil9326]

Shameless does that quite well a few times

[@oylene]

Heard really good things about May December (which is also mentioned in another comment on this video)

[@whoacoolhandle]

I think Cruel Summer Season 1 does a pretty good job too.

[@AngDevigne]

Agreed

[@spicoli_1117]

The fact that the author of CMBYN in that interview quote talks about how he shouldn't tell anyone about his attraction to twelve year-old girls and then proceeds to out himself in an interview. There's nothing better than these creeps outing themselves.

[@Lemoncakelover678]

This is one of the reasons why I'm confused as to how the LGBT community holds cmbyn as something special when it's just a creepy relationship no one needed

[@Aelffwynn]

​@@Lemoncakelover678 I'm sure some lgbt+ folks do, but I don't know anyone personally who does, if that helps you feel better?

[@Robyn-yc5md]

​@@Lemoncakelover678 Honestly I don't think as many people in the community like it as much as it seems, I think a big part of its popularity grew from a straight audience but I just speculate that based on how it was talked about at the time of its release. But also normalization of age gaps still happens with lgbt folks just like it does straight ones

[@jijitters]

@@Lemoncakelover678 Most of the people who love that movie are not LGBT+ tbh. CMBYN is one of those movies straight people uphold as some dramatic, artistic portrayal about how tragic it is to be gay. They also love Brokeback Mountain and Moonlight. Now, both of those are good movies, but I'm just saying there's an obvious subcategory of gay movie that straight people prefer over all else. Straight people don't love gay comedies.

[@Lemoncakelover678]

​@@Aelffwynnif that's the case then I'm glad though for me, I always see people praise this movie both straight and gay and it will continue to confuse me

[@Aredhel-vx4qy]

FINALLY someone acknowledging that Call me by your name is weird because of the age gap

[@GarlicBreadDog]

When I explained to a family member how it's grooming and etc Elvis being with Priscilla, they responded with: "Well it was only one girl." Just disgusting.

[@missrebel634]

That one girl was someone's daughter, it could've been their daughter.

[@gabyzz1331]

my mom legit responded with "oh but she liked him back"

[@GarlicBreadDog]

@@gabyzz1331 just so wild

[@NerdySwede]

It also WASN'T! It was known he liked young girls so uuuuuuuh not "just" ONE

[@GarlicBreadDog]

@@NerdySwede so true!

[@lyrcheylap1779]

I just left a 10 year relationship with someone who was 10 years older than me and started dating me a month after I turned 18. I watched may DECEMBER this week and just sobbed. In the relationship I felt like an “exception “ but now that I’m out I just think of all the time I lost in my 20’s. And that’s not even considering someone being preyed on in their early teens. It’s wild.

[@nikkicarreon]

I understand you :( I mourn my years 17-23, it hurts but just know you’re not alone, I’ve spent the last 2 years trying to figure out who I even am

[@cloudoholic]

I for real hope u heal from that, man :[

[@kasen5178]

I mourn my time lost to a groomer too. please know you're not alone ❤

[@moonsigil]

Girlie, please don't cry. You CAN and WILL thrive in your 30s. And I hope you find someone to love you right ❤

[@moonsigil]

@@nikkicarreon Hugs to you Nikki. It's a pretty big deal that you continue to forge your path forward with the dignity and cleverness that defines your character 🙏🏼❤

[@cassi6528]

My boomer dad has said that people weren't actually okay with Elvis and Priscilla so no, it wasn't "different" times

[@angryox3102]

It was a different time in that people would let it slide back then.

[@motherfudger6664]

@@angryox3102 except that some people didn't want to let it slide, as this person is saying. And they didn't let Jerry slide, so I wonder why the double-standard with Elvis.

[@angryox3102]

@@motherfudger6664 I think the cousin factor is the largest issue why everyone hates Lewis. Also, Lewis (most likely) knew his cousin from her birth and things had already escalated to marriage by the time she was 13. Elvis on the other hand met Priscilla when she was 14 and things didn’t escalate to marriage until years later. I’m not trying to say that Elvis wasn’t a creep, but as far creeps go, he wasn’t as bad as Lewis. There are levels of creepiness.

[@YeeterSkeeter-uw4mu]

Others were, so yes, it was “Different Times”. Especially in the Mexican communities. All of our grand parents had children at 14.

[@kookyflowers4633]

YEAH UM WHAT??? no like!!! people have always known this shit was terrible, that's propaganda speaking

[@icecreamlover735]

I want to thank you for talking about the difference between genuine creeps and those with OCD with these types of intrusive thoughts. So many with this type of OCD never tell anyone because theyre afraid theyre a bad person.

[@alainaluu]

I need someone to acknowledge the creepiness of Licorice Pizza! No one was talking about how uncomfortable the age gap was 25 and 15.

[@danicee]

I remember talking about this film with my sister and she said she liked this film and didn’t mind their relationship but I just couldn’t get past the main female character being pursued by a teenage boy. So gross.

[@girlzrule810]

YES I couldn't stand this movie because age gap is just so insane. It's nicely shot and well acted, but I just couldn't get around the 10 year age gap + it being a student-teacher relationship.

[@djtundra8011]

I loved Licorice Pizza but I cringed at that age difference.

[@alainaluu]

@@girlzrule810 She wasn't his teacher, but it was still really inappropriate. She had a position of power over him by agreeing to be his chaperone.

[@lemonmeat]

not even an age gap atp thats just straight up "pdf"philia

[@kaylawaye]

Scott Pilgrim really hits me hard personally. Right after I turned 18 I started dating a guy in his 20s that got me into our local punk scene. I'd go to all of his shows and he'd get me into 21+ up shows because I was with the band. Everyone openly joked about our relationship, but no one seriously criticized him or warned me. That turned into the most toxic relationship of my life.

[@nikkicarreon]

I’m so sorry :( you’re not alone though, I understand you and so many others in this comment section. I’m so so glad you got out of that relationship and hope you’re well!

[@theswissmiss69]

I‘m so sorry that happened to you.💕

[@Soapy-chan]

you were 18, wtf are you on about?

[@brandonsavage6958]

@@Soapy-chan Just because something is legal, doesn't mean its not morally reprehensible

[@PuerRidcully]

You're a grown woman at 18. Chose better men, cause if you don't have family support no one will coddle you about it.

[@perlita_]

im glad to see i wasnt the only one feeling icky about No Hard Feelings. when i saw the trailer in theaters once, i was genuineky shocked to see such a movie get greenlit cuz i was like "isnt he literally a teeanger?!?!

[@opale5373]

Even if he was older, the fact that his parents are paying someone to force him to have sex would already be gross enough, but they had to make it worth by making him barely adult and shaming a teenager because he's a virgin. I don't understand how someone thought about this plot and get it approved, why an actress that shouldn't be that desperate for a role accepted to be in this film, and generally speaking how this movie was made released without anyone ever thinking that perhaps there could be something wrong with this whole idea.

[@alexisgonzales4689]

​@opale5373 yessss ever since I saw that trailer I've felt weird towards Jennifer Lawrence like she's so popular she didn't need to take this role

[@charlesc3734]

@@opale5373 of course its wrong! thats why its funny! That's the point! Do you need daddy to hold your hand to watch the scary movie??

[@Quisharealistic]

In defense of no hard feelings. I think it’s a terrible outdated trope they were referencing about the societal pressure of being a Boy and having to transform into a false assumptions of what manhood is suppose to be. But in away the movie breaks those tropes a bit. Like just a little.. it’s still weird. (Unnecessary blabbering) I do like the contrast and portrayal Of how gen z are persevered and yearning for more intellectual connection while millennials have a tendency to throw themselves away into soulless sexual relationships due to trauma and or no knowledge of self worth.

[@vee4554]

wasn't it based on a craigslist thing

[@thereal.daniiii777]

the fact that the comment section is DIVIDED on this matter is genuinely concerning.

[@fatimahanwaar306]

both sides are the problem since they are defending age gap relationships in different ways: misogynists are using the "it has happened since the beginning of time" argument and using "biology" as an excuse as well as the "men want beauty and fertility women want protection and financial stability" argument while pseudo-feminists are defending age gap relationships with the "brain development" argument and preaching "Love is Love" and using the "consenting adults" argument as well as preaching "it's none of your business!" both are toxic

[@GirlyFish42069]

Well, to be fair, calling an 18-year-old dating a 22-year-old "sus" is pretty "chronically online"-ish, especially considering Taylor Swift has received a lot of sexist hate over the years for the stupidest things.

[@yoyo777]

​@kittiemartinez4431 if -1 makes you illegal than the relationship is kinda messed up.

[@GirlyFish42069]

@@yoyo777 LOL get a grip

[@cannedcan9788]

@@GirlyFish42069 No, it really is not. When you are 18 the biggest gap between you and your partner should be 3 years max, until you are like 23-25 you still grow sooo much mentally every single year, even if you do not notice it.

[@animateobject14]

my mum was with a 20yr old when she was 15 and then had his son at 18. She full on had a break down to me (Which isn't that good) about how devastated she was that no one in her life told her it was wrong.

[@spookyho5994]

i'm so sorry she had to go through that, i hope she's doing okay

[@The_Ooberist_Goober]

My mom had me at 15 by my 20 y/o dad literally no one in her life told her it was wrong she thought it was normal until i pointed it out about it being gross and weird it makes me sad how many victims don’t realize they where taking advantage of

[@ciaranicole1334]

I went thru something similar, I got pregnant at 14 by an 18 year old and it took me years to even consider it might have been wrong because everyone else was okay with it.

[@ettaetta439]

​@accelerationquanta5816get off of this channel, pedo defender ❤️

[@flat-facedclown1491]

​@@Stalofos babes, I'm into history & it's fucking weird.

[@doodleywack]

Moral of the story: it’s healthy to give constructive Criticism to media you enjoy 😊

[@lamestudiosinc418]

@@Nonesovile96 Funny because actual puritans didn't care that much about age gaps and regularly married off teenage girls to 30+ year old men.

[@EndorJedi985]

​@Nonesovile96 the woman making this video is literary a grooming victim.

[@doodlcakes]

Shows like Riverdale and PLL and the way they depict teenagers can ABSOLUTELY be its whole own video

[@kelpo6304]

don't forget Buffy the Vampire Slayer!!! Buffy and Angel's relationship, the context that Dawn's actress (Michelle Trachtenberg) heavily implied that Joss Whedon made sexual advances on her when she was underage, how the show's general writing and camerawork constantly sexualizes teenage girls

[@wafflefries9153]

Yes!! I can’t stand how they treat these TEENAGERS after GROWN MEN go after them. The victim blaming is disgusting☹️.

[@S0ph.e]

Pls you could make an entire presentation on it. But those things are deemed as “okay” purely because of the time they were made. Although I’m not sure abt Riverdale? What’s the example in that show?

[@MiotaLee]

I don't want to watch teenagers (even adults playing teens) have intercourse. It makes me so fucking uncomfortable. I watched the purge for the first time and while there is no s*x scene, the teenage daughter is being male gazed by the camera while wearing a school uniform through the entire movie. I'm so tired of this.

[@cantkillcliffrose]

​@kelpo6304 wrong. He's been accused of being verbally abusive. He was also accused of grabbing a make up artists arm. It's been implied that Joss was mean and a bully. She didn't like being around him because of that. No one accused him of being a sexual creep. Just keep the facts straight. Anya was a 1000 years old and Xander was 17 when they started dating. Good thing it's a fictional TV show. Best show ever.

[@selahdamerville4039]

as a teen girl, conversations like this from people like you make me feel so much more safe in the world, just spreading awareness and calling it what it is. i just wanted to thank you. i am adopting you as my older sister.

[@laurarivera4088]

People also tend to accept grooming when the victim is conventionally attractive and more “mature looking.” As if their looks make them more mentally mature (they do not). Compare Priscilla to Myra Brown, the 13-year old girl Jerry Lee Lewis married. They were both around the same age but Myra still has a very prepubescent look compared to Priscilla, whose makeup and clothes made her look even older. This is VERY important to talk about because girls today are reaching puberty earlier due to increased rates of obesity in children (obesity is a risk factor for early onset of puberty known as “precocious puberty”). But just because their bodies mature, doesn’t mean their minds do!! So girls who hit puberty earlier face increased stress from being sexualized or hit on by older men, because their CHILD minds do not know how to process being sexualized. They still need to be protected!

[@laurarivera4088]

source: I took a college course on adolescent development

[@trekkiejunk]

It's also very different because Lewis married and impregnated a 13 year old girl. Elvis didn't date Priscilla until she was 20, and didn't have sex with her until they were married, when she was 22. In fact, she even tried to get Elvis to have sex with her after they started dating, but he refused until marriage. So, their cases are very, very different.

[@kaiyodei]

are the brains of 17 year olds still like a child? because they are? i know mine was to the point I got along better with 14 year olds as my chums@@laurarivera4088

[@mr.sniffly5297]

Also, Myra Brown was Jerry Lee Lewis’ cousin, so that’s another difference

[@ssepia_]

literally 1am but i am SO happy that you are talking about priscilla specifically!!! i saw people saying that their relationship is so "priscilla and elvis" as if that's good??? like totally romanticizing it, makes me so sad.

[@PaperLoser-gv4wb]

That’s where people consume a piece of media incorrectly. Romanticizing becomes annoying and disturbing

[@noriii]

@NotVille_why are you bots everywhere

[@emitheorbit1118]

​@@PaperLoser-gv4wbYeah, they just see everything superficially and make a clown out of themselves

[@sumlem]

​@@noriiidon't engage with them by replying pls! Just report them when you see the comments

[@Lemoncakelover678]

The way lolita was portrayed in America really shaped a generation for the worst in these cases

[@jude8275]

My mother said "he's Elvis so it's fine. Everyone was okay in the end" ..... ????????? Apparently I was wrong for saying he groomed her. My mother was upset with me for the whole rest of the day

[@remigal899]

Nah I would’ve been mad at my mom the entire day.

[@jennah5990]

That’s childish af on her side

[@Shmoopsquiz]

she’s childish af 😂

[@mychannel-rt2gn]

“Everyone was okay at the end” As if Priscilla hasn’t lived her entire adult life obsessing over a nan who did her dirty because he completely obliterated her understanding of healthy relationships, boundaries and skewed her love-map.

[@egg_bun_]

Your mom sounds like a child. I would know, my mom is the same way.

[@Vita-kg8cp]

I have very bad OCD, it can create horrifying images but most people with ocd understand that it is not our thoughts, it is a severe condition and we need mental health help and do not romanize it, thank you so much for addressing this

[@davidranderson1]

Maybe I was just projecting my own attitudes onto the movie, but I thought in Scott Pilgrim vs. The World the other characters and the movie itself were mocking him for dating someone in high school. It was one more example of how he was immature, irresponsible, and needed to grow up.

[@mintyhippo8125]

Yeah, Scott and his friends are presented as not doing well. “Dating a high schooler IS the mourning period!” And everyone makes fun of him for dating her/thinks it odd. Scott is way more of a jerk in the comics, too. I thought the age gap is always weird, but at least they only kissed once (and Knives kissed him), and it wasn’t presented as a big love story. Scott was just a jerk who wasn’t really interested in her/thought she was too into him/was only dating her to get out of the house.

[@violet_broregarde]

I remember almost nothing from that movie except the phrase "fake high school girlfriend."

[@DeeFig66]

@@mintyhippo8125 Actually, the split second after Knives kisses him, I think in the comic, he breaks up with her milliseconds after she jumps him. (His plan for that meeting). Also, Like... the video zero's in one the only instance in the movie where anyone sees this in a positive light. Where are all the scenes of his friends judging him for dating her? Also, yes, he infantilizes her because his entire reason for dating her IS because she's young & will probably want to take it slow. He never rushed her because he was happy with it being painfully simple, innocent & slow. The fact that she was young was to not get into the more messy aspects of adult relationships. Does this make Scott good? NO, of course not! Was he using Knives? Absolutely. The movie could have addressed it more sure, but I think her being a minor did showcase his shitty lack of judgement & made us judge him right off the bat to fall into his growth without losing time... I dunno. It serves a narrative mechanic IMO. It was at her expense, I agree, but I don't think it ruins it.

[@highdefinition450]

yeah i think it could have been done with an 18 year old at least or address more how creepy it is but it's definitely not a good thing for scott to be doing this. he's a freak and a loser who takes advantage of younger women because it's easy for him, that is made very clear at the very least lmao

[@lemongreed7916]

yeah, I see Scott as immature, he himself is kinda acting like a high schooler

[@Rabbitzan]

What makes me angry is when people justify arranged marriages from way back when and say it was a different time.. just because it was legal back then does not make it okay.

[@e.g.evermore4390]

Isnt that what legal mean?

[@TheProxy066]

@@e.g.evermore4390 No?

[@Toulouxxe]

​@@e.g.evermore4390no?

[@andreeadoca1550]

Arranged and forced marriages are very different things. Arranged marriages are very much legal and are oftentimes beneficial to both families and partners involved.

[@thezplayer3002]

it's not okay now, but it was okay back then, we should remember what happened back then as a lesson so we don't repeat the same mistake

[@peachpixiedust]

I'm glad you talked about Call Me by Your Name, it's been reclaimed in beautiful ways, and the gay couple being really woke at the time doesn't change the fact that so many gay and bisexual men have been groomed as children seeking out their first real love too.

[@Lemoncakelover678]

Yeah that movie just ultimately harms LGBT youth in the long run Instead of 'helping' them

[@Cobalt360Degrees]

It sucks because, on some level, it would be _good_ to have a film or some other piece of media delving into inappropriate age gaps in the LGBT+ community because for a _very long time_ gay kids were only really figuring out who they were and what they were feeling by being educated by gay adults because their straight families and their communities either refused to or outright disowned them. Entire generations of queer kids were only getting to feel seen and validated by adults who had waaaayyyyy more knowledge and power over them with absolutely no oversight. If anything, it's even more of a minefield to talk about because so much of the visibility of the queer community today is thanks to their hard work and sacrifices, and much like not wanting to see honest critique of your favourite media, it's an emotionally difficult thing to do to try and address that some of the people in those important gay communities were not exactly good people. The malicious stereotype of the gay predator still looms large over popular culture so who knows if or when we'll ever get a chance to talk about these kinds of problems while the people who lived through it are still alive.

[@mynameistoosacredtoshareto7020]

Can you elaborate I keep seeing your comments

[@kxmuna]

this book is in a different country in the 80’s where the age of consent and being an adult was different and dating people youger than you wasent seen as werid

[@peachpixiedust]

@@redscorpion1090 Chill out, I'm talking about the experience of real people outside the movie

[@Live_Laugh_Loathe]

The way you mentioned OCD and were so respectful and informed makes me genuinely so happy ily nikki

[@cautiousgalaxy4613]

I knew so many classmates that where dating adults in high school it was so bad. One of the girls she was 15 and dating a 30 year old. She said they had known each other for a long time, like that makes it better.

[@ieatalgae]

That makes it worse tbh

[@username-mk4qv]

Known each other a long time..? Shes half his age, omg that’s horrible. Must’ve been grooming her from day 1. And you’re right that doesn’t make it better. Even if let’s say they knew each other since they were both kids. For normal people, attraction ages with us. As a kid you like kids. As an adult you stop liking kids and start liking adults.

[@Hachiko264]

Same 🙈 Remember a man broke up with one girl(16) in school because her boobs got "too big." Everybody was so confused, but It makes more "sense" now.😢

[@harleylinnX]

@@Hachiko264oh my gosh, he is disgusting. I hope that girl is doing okay.

[@kunitherock]

no same .. i rmbr being in the 8th grade, like 12-13, and i had friends dating 19-20 year olds .. and i was like .. oh .. ??

[@jennifer-pm6ql]

Plz do a part 2, dont let that research go to waste. And the editing in the video is amazing.

[@FormulaFanboy]

Genuinely thanks for talking about No Hard Feelings, I remember being laughed at when I commented on the trailer that this movie wouldn't be so accepted if the roles were reversed. Most men can confirm that unfortunately unwanted advances or grooming against men from women is seldom taken seriously at all so sometimes we just have to be really uncomfortable. I remember seeing the trailer for this STUPID movie again and again in theatres and being so uncomfortable every time I saw it because it's just so not okay. Thanks for shedding light

[@snowblossom5056]

Exactly, I'm glad someone's finally talking about this too! I watched it out of curiosity, and it was... so bad. It was creepy and unfathomably cringeworthy. Being okay with having a relationship with a 19 year old is already bad, but the main character lady (don't remember her name, don't care) was also incredibly immature and annoying. Later in the movie, she gets really possessive of him out of nowhere and it's so incredibly creepy. And, about the immature part, she acts like a spoiled hormonal teenage girl when he actually pushes her away (which he should be doing). I genuinely have no idea why anyone likes this movie.

[@bajabl]

Did you even watch the movie? It’s not what you assume lol

[@FormulaFanboy]

@@bajabl thanks for being a great example of what i meant

[@FormulaFanboy]

@@snowblossom5056 Thank you for your reply :) I'd make a joke here about me and my girlfriend both being okay with having a relationship with a 19 year old (we're both 19) but I can't think of one right now, so just pretend I made a really good joke

[@snowblossom5056]

@@FormulaFanboy Haha, dw that works lol

[@emmasilver2332]

As someone who dated a 17 year old when I was 14, and that relationship lasted 3 years, I'm still trying to undo the damage that caused me. He was absolutely a predator, and by the time I realized it, I was too afraid to say anything. Didn't say anything to my parents because I knew that would give them even more of an excuse to infantilize me, and I didn't work up the courage to break up with him until two years after I realized it wasn't healthy. And if it weren't for technology, it might've been even longer. I have no doubt he would have raped me one day if I stayed with him for long enough. Part of me keeps blaming myself for not seeing the signs earlier, even though I know in my logical mind that what I went through was unequivocally his fault. To see this type of behavior being defended is absolutely sickening to me.

[@cigarettediet1185]

im sorry to hear that but 17 year old boys are still really young so even if i had dated one at 14 i wouldnt even notice.

[@emmasilver2332]

@@cigarettediet1185 that's the problem. I didn't notice anything was wrong until I'd already developed feelings for him.

[@Inky_doodledoo]

Do you know what he's doing now?

[@emmasilver2332]

@@Inky_doodledoo I know he's gotten some other gal pregnant within like a month of me breaking up with him. And I know he works at my local KFC. Other than that, no idea.

[@kj.4977]

So sorry to hear that. Hope you’re doing okay

[@eamelie]

Every time I see Aaron Taylor-Johnson I feel so bad for him. He was only 18-19 when he supposedly asked her to marry him (she was in her 40’s)…even without having a “partner” relationship with her prior. She definitely took advantage of him.

[@Gloomy199]

As a 17 year old, I had dated somebody 10 years older than me. I never once felt like there wasn’t a power imbalance. Even the way the relationship started was worthy of a police report. Seeing everybody around me nowadays talking about their admiration for Elvis breaks my heart for Priscilla. They throw her to the side so quickly and I doubt she was truly happy.

[@User-g5j3k]

True it even hurts to know that Lisa Marie was against her mother telling her story in Priscilla. Lisa Marie was against the movie before she died.

[@deethwarrior]

SAME i was 16 he was 23 and I'm like "WHO STILL LIKES MICHAEL JACKSON/ELVIS PRESLEY/etc.

[@AlyxAesthetics]

@@deethwarrior ok now you crossed the line with michael jackson, he didnt do shit, you just believe everything negative you read,

[@jackieroberts2625]

​@@AlyxAestheticsdude, don't be dumb

[@AlyxAesthetics]

@@jackieroberts2625 dude, dont be gullible, you just want to feel smart for "knowing" bullshit

[@ambiguousball324]

There's a mini series on Hulu called A Teacher (2020) which is a ten episode story with a teacher in her thirties and a senior in high school. It's pretty grounded, and tries to tackle the problems and aftermath of such a thing. In terms of media that presents age-gaps and power in relationships, this tv show actually attempts to critique it and maybe even say something insightful. It's not great, but it was trying.

[@nevaehhamilton3493]

And by trying, what it actually means is that it's gross because of the unfair power dynamic that makes it extremely abusive.

[@Jsarmy87124]

Ew I can't watch it and in France our president is 40 something his wife 70 something she was his teacher back then when he was 16!

[@dreadwolfrising]

​@sarahrean7174 omg every time I see him and his wife together I'm horrified how nobody in his life intervened. So many will go and defend it because they're "happy now" and have been together for so long, but that kind of relationship shouldn't be acceptable no matter how "happy" someone seems in the public eye

[@gobsmr]

Not a story! It's a real thing that happened. The dude and the teacher ended up married with kids.

[@emilyannamanda]

I just feel uncomfortable, watching the depictions of the stuff all the time like it does not make my soul feel good I was actually groomed by my employer, when I was 16 to 18 and nothing illegal happened, but it was wrong and making it seem normalized is so creepy and bad for the young men and women of our future

[@lucybarnhill]

THANK YOU FOR TALKING ABOUT HOW TAYLOR SWIFT DID THAT!! i see so many swifties that refuse to acknowledge it along with other issues surrounding her like her carbon emissions.

[@SullySyndrome]

Im watching this at four in the morning and is it a good idea? Probably not. Am I still going to? Yes.

[@nikkicarreon]

You’re so real for that, thank you

[@bishop57]

Omg me too lol

[@caffeineaddict.]

watching it at 1am lmfao sleep schedule is gone 😭

[@saudade969]

Me too lmfao

[@ivurias]

so real

[@izzzzzy2983]

I was groomed by my manager at work when I was 17 and he was 28. After it happened I kept gaslighting myself, trying to convince myself that “oh it wasn’t that bad” and “I was being dramatic”. Now I’ve come to accept that I was a victim, and it wasn’t my fault, what he did was awful. But it’s still nice to have videos like this that reinforce to me that I was wronged when I struggle to believe it.

[@TheComedyDogDan]

@mrshadow_91417 year olds can’t even vote or drink alcohol in america… u can 10000% be groomed lol. it’s about power dynamics

[@sumlem]

​@mrshadow_914just because you can legally do those things, it doesn't mean that you are developed as an adult. Full stop. A high schooler is 17 years old and still very much naive and vulnerable to manipulation. People who date 16-20 year olds for the purpose of age gaps do so because of their supposed innocence in order to "shape them" as people. It's a power imbalance and a relationship of control over someone's youth to appease the ego of the older person. Morally, why would someone want to date another person in a completely different stage of life? What is the appeal of someone that age? Why not go for someone closer in age?

[@yorickbrown5297]

@mrshadow_914 if youre over 17 this is an embarassing thing to say and youre a freak fr

[@cassidym.7687]

@mrshadow_914 none of the things you listed prove someone can't be groomed lmao, you sound goofy and uninformed

[@pixiedust6347]

im so sorry 💖😞 u deserve the world.

[@Lumpybag]

as someone who was groomed by a 32 year old when i was 17, groomed by 20+ year olds when i was 12-15 it makes me genuinely sick to my stomach that people can defend any of this

[@mariomorgan4347]

i am 16 and i been dating a 36 year old guy,and seeing these comments and this video makes me cry,cause i am scared he is just using me and grooming me,we been going on for 2 months and he has been more sweet to me than my own parents,we met online,i am genuinely asking for help,what should i do? i dont wanna break up with him with him being nice to me,it feels unfair,but i dont know what to do now

[@Alicat231999]

A 36 year old really shouldn't be dating a 16 year old. You should get out of the relationship if you can. He might seem sweet and he might even believe his intentions are pure, but so many more years of life experience puts him in a position where he would just be taking advantage of you as a young person who just haven't fully developed yet

[@Katelizaj]

@@mariomorgan4347this might be very hard to hear, but no one over the age of 20 would find a 16 year old attractive in any way, I am honestly very concerned for you especially with the comment about your parents. If you have troublesome parents, I promise it gets better, but that man does NOT have your best interests at heart. If he did he would not be dating you.

[@mariomorgan4347]

@@Katelizaj i am thinking about breaking up with him,this is my first relationship and it is hard to do it cause i am very attached to him

[@mariomorgan4347]

@@Katelizaj and yeah my relationship with my parents were always bad,my dad lives in another town and barely talks to me,my mom is horrible to me cause she argues and fights over everything and somedays i am even scared of her,i hope it will get better,but it only will if she starts treating me better

[@kaattt-21]

“They only want you when your seventeen, when your twenty one, your no fun”

[@humpydumpi]

They take a polaroid and let you go

[@Silvershard2595]

Say they’ll let you know, so come on

[@Anthology_of_Holly]

I dated my first serious boyfriend when I was 16 and he was 20. He told me he loved me and then broke up wit the me a few months later because ‘I couldn’t go out to clubs with him it made him feel lonely when he’s out’ (I’m in Australia where legal drinking age is 18). I remember feeling like it was all my fault for not being mature enough for him. By the time I was 20 and looked at 16 year olds it made me want to vomit 😅

[@ghoultooth]

I had a “friend” who thought it was appropriate to date a 16 year old when he was 20, just a year or two ago. Needless to say, I called him out for it and more or less severed ties. He still reaches out and I’m civil with him, but that was a major no. They never did anything sexual, but it still weirds me out really badly and it was unfortunately legal since the age of consent in the UK is 16. I’m so sorry you went through all that and it really is so strange that people in their 20s could POSSIBLY be viewing literal children in that way. I’m 22 myself and I don’t think I could stomach dating anyone under 20.

[@fidgc6774]

Yeah as a 21 yr old aussie I couldnt imagine even slightly liking anything younger than 19 lmao. Feels icky for some reason. Weird tho cuz I dont mind older

[@lulu-kz5gf]

I'm 20 this year and 17 year olds look like babies, I can't imagine even dating someone that young and it's barely considered as illegal as they'd be turning 18 and it's still disgusting in my eyes.

[@zapazap]

​@@ghoultoothWhat does the age of consent have to do with it if they did nothing sexual?

[@Serjo777]

@@ghoultooth Freakin' pru de. Yeah, let's have the gov decide for people what they can do with each other consensually, what a great idea. Or, you know, you could let them decide for themselves and not meddle in their affairs?

[@tesculeanuandrei6744]

Don't forget about the vocalist of Led Zeppelin dating a 14 year old and keeping her in the hotel room in tours until she turned 15 and he didn't give a shit anymore and had her backstage and going out with him.

[@KikoElGatito]

Not just the vocalist Robert Plant, but also the guitarist Jimmy Page was well known for being into little girls, eugh.

[@starrsmith3810]

Guitarist

[@Dorkeydaze]

Yep unregulated. I heard it was common to choose a bunch of girls around that age to go “backstage”

[@localabsurdist6661]

Sadly most bands have band members that assaulted and groomed minors… and the only band I saw that actually had the amount of backlash that ended their career was SWMRS

[@rt73x]

That was Jimmy Page, who was the guitarist. 🤓

[@vg2324]

I was 15 or 16 and i was on xbox and i started talking to this guy who was about 25 and i didnt realize but he was touching himself to my voice and i didnt know and he knew i didnt know. when i found out i didnt want to talk to him anymore and he wrote a song about wanting to kill me. It was insane so its so weird the fascination about dating kids who are naive what is wrong with people.

[@cloudoholic]

OH HELL NAH 💀 no but fr tho i hope ur okay now and stay safe :[

[@nikkicarreon]

I’m so sorry 😭 wtf is wrong with ppl?? What sucks is that I know a ton of people will relate

[@cawesomewhatever]

I think it’s the power they want over that person. Might be because they are insecure about something in their lives but yeah it’s disgusting. Had a person ask me about my boobs when I was like 10 and it was online I stopped talking to that person right away.

[@Idontknowwhatdo-t9u]

I hope that guy in jail or something

[@babyspider99]

Was he listening to the divinelys?

[@totemraven]

i always saw the ending of CMBYN as Emilio reflecting on the relationship and realising he was groomed, only had no idea there was a sequel that ruined my whole idea

[@arbitrarySalamander]

The “it was a different time” argument gets me off kilter very quickly, like Jesus

[@Alias3141]

Okay, but why, though? The rules change with time. It doesn’t invalidate our ethics today that things were different back then. If anything, it says good things about us that we as a society act more ethically than we did 70 years ago.

[@naenaeg2193]

@@Alias3141 but you can acknowledge that the past was messed up even if back then that was normal/accepted/ not frowned upon. Like abusing your wife was normalized back in the day but now we understand that it’s messed up and not right. So in my view yea nobody cared about the age gap because of the time period but Elvis was still in the wrong for pursuing a lady that young.

[@Alias3141]

@@naenaeg2193 I hope you're okay being judged by posterity for things we currently say are fine.

[@naenaeg2193]

@@Alias3141 I really couldn’t care about being judged 💀

[@Alias3141]

@naenaeg2193 I think you're wrong for that. Simultaneously judging the people of the past and rejecting the same judgment unto yourself. I'd call that childish. If you're gonna hold absurdist moralistic views like "The people of the past should have behaved in a moral manner beyond the standards of their society", you should act in accordance with that view. Better anticipate the moral values of the future and adhere to them, or be judged in the same manner, feel me?

[@JosiahCS]

As a 20 year old who still feels very young and inexperienced in life these are absolutely insane to me

[@dianne5268]

Bruh I'm 20 too, some of these movies and real people are just insane

[@Suited_Nat]

i felt that as a 19 year old. I've heard ppl try to excuse this gr**ming shit and I don't get how people can in their right minds.

[@Daelyah]

20 was when a creep at my first job-a creep that's older than my dad-warmed up to me, before manipulating and taking advantage of that person I once was. And my last ex, while ace, was a decade in age older than me-longest relationship I ever had, and it went up in flames because of SO many differences. I definitely caution anyone in their 20s to avoid dating anyone a decade or more older than them. Please take care of yourself and be mindful of predatory behaviors-both among peers, and anyone of older generations who might consider you "naïve" and therefore "easy."

[@MiaogisTeas]

That's you, not everyone.

[@JosiahCS]

@@MiaogisTeas Getting weird vibes from your comment ngl

[@Dhruv.s03]

Adding to the Harry Styles and Nicole Scherzinger thing, you can also google about Caroline Flack. He said he had a crush on her at the x- factor (she was a co-presenter) when he was 17 and she was 31. A teenager having crushes on older people is super common, don't tell me you never had a crush on an attractive older person. But the fact that she decided to act on it??? in her words “I’ve never felt I was much older than Harry. I still feel 18 and I probably act that way half the time." The teenager is made to feel like they're mature by the groomer and they never realise they're being groomed, they'll like the attention and groomers rely on that. They need someone to depend on them, for someone to think of them as relevant. I've seen so many people blaming the victims, but it's ALWAYS the groomer's fault wtf is wrong with you guys??

[@c_c_mtg_]

As a survivor of all of this, I've been to two separate rounds of trauma therapy over several years. Now I am like an actual functional human being. But I lost my twenties to it. I just want to say thank you for doing this video and I'm so glad so many other people have found it, because it's been a lot of labor in my life to educate so many people on things like this where they just don't f****** get it

[@kait2004]

another age gap i genuinely think about and it makes me so upset is the one between beyoncé and jay z, they met when she was 18 or 19 yet they’re 12 years apart and she said that he had “taught her how to be a woman”

[@nikkicarreon]

This is literally one of the pics I printed out that didn’t fit on the board 😭 seriously it’s so wrong, also I forgot Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher

[@missmami3106]

@mrshadow_914- That’s what you think lmao.

[@DorothyOHumdrum]

Whats upsetting about this isnt exactly the age gap cause Beyonce was an adult it was that Beyonce wasn’t a mature one she was still finding herself, and Jay Z infantilized her basically seeing her as a kid in his world view but still decided to go out with her

[@Stalofos]

@@DorothyOHumdrum Is 18 an adult, or is 18 not an adult? Because if you aren't mature enough to make relationship decisions at 18, then I hope you fight against people being able to vote at 18, or be drafted to die in a war at 18.

[@chesiresays]

@@DorothyOHumdrum18 yo aren’t adults💀 law doesn’t mean shit

[@noni7442]

as much as people MIGHT defend these as "love stories", i as a grooming victim RELATE heavily to what the young people feel here. I don't think these people/authors realize they are literally depicting what grooming is. When I was 13 with a 16 year old "boyfriend", I was distraught for MONTHS meanwhile he moved on in less than a week, even got into another relationship. That makes you realize how little you are to them, how much they don't actually mean anything they tell you or you "share". Once you lose that naivete, girlishness, and can't give them what they want, you're nothing. Once you're not an ego boost, you're nothing.

[@silverrain3356]

ouch you put this into words rlly well

[@noni7442]

@@Schneekatzchen me as a 16 year old now would never want to be sexual or so close to a 13 year old as he was with me..

[@noni7442]

@@Schneekatzchen would've been a good point if he didn't already do that to someone else

[@lemonberry3242]

@@Schneekatzchen the man also being a child does NOT excuse his actions. he is still a groomer whether you like it or not.

[@stickyickey1229]

Well said

[@khyrodon]

If you think turning 25 is bad, just you wait. But seriously, my aunt is a huge Elvis fan. Saw a video about the age gap and Elvis liking to spend time with underage girls, but when I asked her about it she basically walked away saying: I don’t want to know about that. It’s a sentiment I’ve encountered a few times. Some people would rather idolise their heroes than face the truth. It’s a dangerous thing.

[@jordieluvspooh]

Exactly. I wish they’d just tell the truth. “Oh I know about that. I just don’t care.”

[@NinaNime-eh7ew]

My sister is 13 talking to a 17 year old and my parents genuinely think it’s ok cus he’s not 18 like wtf it makes me mad and sad

[@wozthescott6214]

Have you tried contacting the authorities?

[@xL.420x]

please help her, PLEASE do anything you can, I had a friend in this EXACT situation, she was taken advantage of, almost raped, and was coerced and pressured (he threatened to take his life and later FOUND THE AREA IN WHICH SHE LIVED IN AND MOVED VERY NEAR HER TO TRY AND FIND HER) her to send him child p (yk, aka n00ds) she was seriously damaged for a while she didn't know any better and just liked him because she thought he was more mature. Please don't let this happen to her, at least monitor, just watch over her and him to make sure shes safe, don't demand her to end it she wont listen (my friend didn't when I tried to warn her) just try to make sure shes safe

[@xL.420x]

@persuadedbyadhom Umm she didn't have sex at all, and its not really a feminist problem...its a predator problem?? She was *almost* raped, (rape isn't sex btw, its non-consensual if you maybe didn't know that which I doubt) he was actively threatening her and forcing her into these sexual situations which she did NOT want at all but she just wanted a romantic and sweet connection (normal for young teenagers) which she did not receive even tho he kept saying what he was doing was normal. If you want to keep victim blaming a thirteen year old, feel free, but don't say that shit to me because I really don't wanna hear it.

[@thatoneVoidDemon]

I remember dating a 17 year old when I was 14 and my family was okay with it when like it is not okay in hindsight, at all. And that’s like just 3 years. I hope your sister eventually breaks it off with him- there’s not too much you as her sibling can do because kids are kind of dumb and won’t listen.

[@thatoneVoidDemon]

@persuadedbyadhom it's not okay because i wasn't married?? Are you saying it's ok for like a 14 year old to get married? You're literally delusional and no one should trust you around children. It wasn't okay because I was in middle school dating someone with significantly more life experience than me (Even though he also had little to no life experience, the difference is staggering)

[@woofee66]

Honestly Call Me By Your Name being set in Italy is quite fitting Here grooming is basically allowed I'm Italian and I remember when I was a kid all adults around me would tell me "as long as both people in the relationship truly love each other it doesn't matter if one is an adult and one is a minor, love knows no bounds" (adults in this case being family and school teachers and my parents' friends-) Thank God I never believed them cause that mentality is really dangerous So props to the author ig, setting it in Italy is very believable. That's the only "good" thing I can say about it tho.

[@nrknice]

That's really funny because just earlier today I saw a video about a 19 year old dating a 49 year old from Italy.

[@FrenkieWest32]

@@nrknice 19 is not a minor though.

[@melonfiend8309]

@@FrenkieWest32 nine-TEEN. as in teenager. they are a teenager. it doesn't matter if the law says 18 year olds are legal adults, they're still kids in many ways. they lack experience and certain maturity, and while they can get married and drive and make huge life decisions independently, that doesn't mean they aren't vulnerable and impressionable. especially if the person much older than them and flirting with them is successful or well respected in some regard. 19 year olds aren't minors, but they're still just kids who don't fully understand when someone older than them is fetishizing their youth and abusing their naivety. teenagers should only date people in their age pool and for them that means a 19 year old really shouldn't be dating someone over 21. the amount of growth you go through during your teens and early adulthood is HUGE. that's why its even creepy when 14 year olds date 17 year olds--one has just entered high school and is experiencing being a "true" teenager for the first time while the other is at the end of it and is preparing for adulthood.

[@FrenkieWest32]

@@melonfiend8309 and is the word ''teenager'' supposed to be your argument? That's a non-sequitur. Anything else what you say is true to varying degrees for every human being on earth. Except for the kids part, no you're not a kid at 19. You even betray yourself at the end, you say 17 is ''at the end of being a true teenager and preparing for adulthood''. So what is 19 then?

[@isislee919]

@@FrenkieWest32ok groomer

[@blakeplace]

i'm so glad this video exists because literally no one talks about some of these movies that clearly romanticise age gaps, especially call me by your name

[@Annie-Worm]

I literally was so confused why he even wrote a part two of call me by your name.

[@skzginaaa]

omg i’m so happy people are talking about the age gap in call me by your name, i was starting to feel like a crazy person!

[@Weeniehutnurse]

The Scott Pilgrim author saying “Come back when you lived your 20s” is CRAZY. I’m 25, if anyone I knew was dating A HIGH SCHOOLER I would literally dog on them constantly. It’s gross. I have nothing in common with a high schooler, and it just feels gross because you’re taking advantage of them.

[@mjstew4453]

When I was 23 I had a coworker who found out that one of our client’s high school aged daughter was into him. He wanted to pursue her and me and another coworker made fun of him for it and begged him to stop. I’m 30 now I have made a lot of mistakes in my twenties and haven’t always been as kind as I could’ve been but I was never interested in teenagers. Ffs

[@goodnightgoodnightgoodnight]

literally its nuts. i havent done any of the bad shit scott did (cheating, dating a high schooler, idk what else. being mildly racist?) nor do i know anyone personally who has. im 24. i feel like normal people in their 20s dont do the shit scott did???

[@ceres9027]

NGL it felt like a bad faith reading of his words to me. Like yeah he said he based the series on his own life but it's a massive reach to imply that he meant that at all when he was saying that. Even if you didn't cheat on anyone or date any high schoolers you still absolutely hurt people without intending to, in some way or another. Which is very obviously what he was broadly referring to.

[@goodnightgoodnightgoodnight]

@@ceres9027 maybe but it feels like the biggest criticisms abt scott pilgrim (the character) by younger audiences is the dating a 17 year old part. this reads especially strong since everyone in the series hurts each other unintentionally (or intentionally!) but scott himself gets the brunt of criticism

[@lumiella]

one of my friends is 18 and she's dating a guy in his early 20s. she hates it when we make fun of him for it because she's a little older for a high schooler, but personally its super weird cus she's never been independent and he's been living on his own for years. it's just the maturity.

[@existentialpotato]

thank you for talking about cmbyn! i wrote an essay about the movie back in 2018 because i was like “why is no one talking about how disgusting this is” like it actually upset me so much.

[@holacomooduh]

Can you share that essay? I would love to read it. Ive been telling my friend how terrible this movie/book is but she finds it very special and a confort movie/book, which shocked me

[@tigermagda]

Every guy I met who dated inappropriately much younger justified it saying they were not the ones who went after the young one. Like that was acceptable.

[@yougotitwrongiknowit700]

or, get this "iT's nATuRAls!!!!111!", somehow found a creep saying that shit in comments. Disgusting, not surprised from litteral pedos.

[@MrBooYa-yd5er]

No justification is required. No one’s business.

[@1eft1ungg]

No because they’re literally still held responsible for the “relationship” as well. Like this should only be endorsed when the two people are adults, not literal teenagers/kids.

[@GhostOfThisHouse]

exactly like it doesnt matter if a child is coming onto them, theyre the adult in the situation who should know right from wrong and say no

[@dinosaysrawr]

It's the same logic of the zoophile who thinks they have an invitation to schtup the dog because the dog humped their leg, frankly.

[@miriamhalpern3026]

I watched No Hard Feelings with my ex, who was much older than me. And the whole time I was so extraordinarily uncomfortable. The way she was pressuring the boy in the movie was giving me a lot of flashbacks. My ex was super into it and he found it really funny, and he didn’t seem to have a problem with what was happening in the movie. And I remember thinking, “is he showing this to me because of our age gap? If he sees no problem here I guess that explains why he keeps forcing himself on me like it’s normal” Idk it just felt like he was throwing in my face the fact that he had manipulated me and used my naïveté. We broke up like a month later after his manipulation had turned into straight up being mean and awful to me.

[@athenatemplanza8005]

I hope you’re doing better!!

[@athenatemplanza8005]

I hope you’re doing better!!

[@athenatemplanza8005]

I hope you’re doing better!!

[@athenatemplanza8005]

I hope you’re doing better!!

[@justjoannak]

My goodness, that's awful

[@Ineverusemychannel]

“I just turned 25 and that is so horrible,” girl, nah. Don’t do that to yourself or young viewers. You just turned 25 and your brain is fully developed, you’re intelligent, introspective and have an experience that is well applied to videos. You just turned 25 and it’s great.

[@GirlyFish42069]

I'm sick of the brain development argument to be honest... because even an 18-24 year old can be intelligent.

[@itschad493]

that whole brain development thing is pretty much pseudoscience. there is actually no defined point when the human brain fully matures because it's different from person to person

[@thechumbucket8986]

​@@GirlyFish42069intelligence isnt that same as maturity. there are 8 year old prodigies out there who are far more intelligent than the adults around them, but they're still not mature

[@GirlyFish42069]

@@thechumbucket8986 that's true, but someone doesn't automatically turn mature because they're 25, just like they don't turn mature at 18. It depends on the person, but 18-24 year olds aren't the vulnerable toddlers that people nowadays think they are.

[@thechumbucket8986]

@@GirlyFish42069 fresh out of high school is definitely vulnerable

[@richborn6700]

My grandmother graduated in 1958 and said even then she had a big crush on Elvis

[@afterglowinrose1267]

we need a part two. i was a victim of one of my teachers (who now cannot teach in my state) and i think it’s important to bring awareness to this kind of harmful dynamic that’s been normalized heavily by the media (ESPECIALLY PLL)

[@Δ-Δ-Δ-Δ]

When I read Call Me By Your Name, I was 17 years old. I romanticised it. I wanted a sexy, tanned, brown-haired gay man to take me away, to f*ck me like a mop. To make out of me a man, to take everything out from me. I wanted to escape reality, I wanted to have my own Olliver. I wanted to feel protected and like I was worthy of being a prize for this sexy ass male. Now I'm 21 years old and Olliver's behaviour is creepy as hell. I study in an university full of teenagers and they're like babies to me. Physically and emotionally immature. Olliver went from being my fictional lust dispenser to a creep. Maybe as immature and toxic as Elio. It's weird how I used to romanticise this bullsh¡t book when I was Elio's age, only to find out 3 years later that it is cockroach raid levels of "Mmm, hell no". And it is chillying to think that if I had been a cutesy, abandoned, adorable, socially appealing gay boy without a family that loved me... I could've and I would've fallen prey to older men who would've definitely taken advantage of me.

[@missnikci0518]

My grandmother in her 80s was an Elvis fan and still thought it was strange that Elvis married Percilla. She had a daughter aroubd her aage at the time and she said there was now way she would let her do that

[@kiwicraft6901]

Finally, someone else who sees how creepy no hard feelings is! Doubly gross the parents are actively enabling it.

[@Nic0Dr4ws]

I literally hated when the trailers would play on tv, and not to be that guy BUT I can assure you if the19 year old was a girl instead of a boy a lot more people would find it creepy ( as they should because it’s creepy regardless)

[@cassidym.7687]

right?! i felt crazy being in a seemingly small group of people having a what the fuck reaction to it from the get go.

[@toonieblue]

yes thank you!! i was so confused as to why no one is talking about this??

[@Treeniofretnio]

@@Nic0Dr4wsbut you would still have a giant group of guys loving the movie bcuz of course

[@mm61777]

exactly!

[@homaneater]

that's not age gaps, that's straight romanticizing of grooming

[@omgfgwtf7082]

i find it funny when you say "underage minor" because it implies the existence of a scary "overage minor" and i really wanna know what kinda creature that is

[@neuerotica]

I caught that too. It's like saying an "underage girl" when it should just be "a girl".

[@MasonBially]

There is probably a quirk of American language where "overage minor" is 18-20 due to the language around various aspects of things like alcohol and general legal maturity (e.g. mostly an adult at 18, but still a minor).

[@GameFuMaster]

"overage minors" are the 20+ year olds who don't take responsibility for their life

[@queenmarshmallow8013]

I think it could also be emphasis

[@schokobrot72]

Maybe the overage minor is someone of age behaving like a kid, ergo a manchild etc? Just thought

[@bubblegumcrab]

I'm so shook I totally thought that the entire plot of "no hard feelings" was going to be the fact that they weren't romantic and they were just good friends. I'm quarrified

[@Flareontoast]

It would be honestly way funnier of a movie if they just pretended to date and were friends and had to do shenanigans convincing people they're hooking up, including his parents

[@Khenfu_Cake]

That was what I thought it would be about too based on the trailers. Her trying maybe in the beginning to seduce him but quickly giving up because none of them really want to, and the story then becomes about them becoming friends while getting into hijinks. That the film actually decided to make it a romance is beyond uncomfortable 😐

[@bubblegumcrab]

@ville__ chief you don't have any videos

[@jass8689]

I actually had to read a book in high school about a 52 year old man falling in love with a 12 year old boy. FOR SCHOOL. I HAD TO READ THIS FOR SCHOOL

[@gio_giotte]

Death in Venice by Thomas Mann right?

[@Bandkidl1fe]

W H A T

[@spaciousdawgg]

EW HOW DID THEY ALLOW THIS

[@KikoElGatito]

High school be making ya read weird shit. I remember there was book, can't remember the name but remember that one of the character's name was Ted Lavender. The protagonist in the book was weird as he was awfully creepy and obsessive to the female love interest and was overstepping her boundaries, like one scene had him grab her hand at the theater despite her not dating nor shoeing interest in him. She even recoiled from him, and it felt odd how my teacher in that class said the girl was weird and "probably a lesbian" even though it just plain weird to be touching someone despite not being chummy with them. It doesn't help that the protagonist was something of a "nice guy" and his narrative feels so annoying with his "oh, woe is me! She don't like me!" Like no shit.

[@camilathielepellenz33]

Why couldn't they just have picked Lolita lol