We Need to Talk About The Article | The Intersection of Misogyny & Fatphobia + Myth of Attraction

[@lionfish2201]

One of the things I have LOVED about season 3 is that not only is there is a curvy lead IT’S NEVER MENTIONED. Not even Portia is critical of Pen’s body. She’s allowed to have a full love story not because of or in spite of her size.

[@tirzah-marielewis3447]

Agree!!!!❤

[@lionfish2201]

I also think it should be fully noted that it’s not a bodily change that makes the other men of the ton take notice of her, it’s her shift in confidence. And frankly, as a thicker woman who’s dated very conventionally attractive men, it is 100% owning your body and your confidence.

[@Almarilys]

This !! Exactly! The show perfectly dealt with that. They didn't fall in any trap (forcing her to lose weight or, the opposite, insisting constantly on what her body is), instead she changes the style of her clothes and makeup. That goes a long way to show that, independently of the shape of your body, one can be perceived as unattractive before, but when they finally find what perfectly fits them, the way people will see them will change significantly. Don't get me wrong, I'm absolutely not saying that women should wear makeup all the time and be dressed in pretty dresses, no. My point is to find what you like and makes you feel good. That was the case with Pen, she got rid of the clothes made according to the desires of her mom. She found what she wanted and went for it. And I'm so glad she did, she's smokin' hot 🔥

[@DlitMusic]

​@@lionfish2201Great observation, it is her shift in confidence which grabs more attention. Glad you own who you are. 😊👍🏾

[@emmaskorepa3173]

Also there are other debutant characters who are plus sized or curvier. This shows that Pen’s lack of confidence is more about her background and her lack of experience.

[@anisa7588]

This defamatory article was a hit piece as the author opposes Nicola's outspoken political views. This is why it was overtly critical with a clear intent to discredit Nicola's incredible talent, beauty and attractiveness.

[@jerrih2749]

I don't care for her politics either. But I found a long time ago that if I paid attention to entertainers politics I would get very little entertainment. I will agree that Pen did not look very attractive in the first two seasons. They put her in mostly bad colors and put those big bows in her hair. But that was kinda the point. She was supposed to be an inexperienced, young person who needed to grow as an individual person. But Nicola Coughlin is beautiful. They did the same thing with Anthony. In the first season, Anthony had the wild side burns and always needed to comb his hair. I've noticed the same with Benedict this year. He was just untidy. But they tone them down so they can turn them up for their season. I'm a size 32 so all you people are tiny to me.

[@bayleebaxter9475]

Nicola is kind, caring, positive, & beautiful. Why do people still feel the need to rip women to shreds over their bodies?

[@maud375]

They're jealous to see a woman confident and confortable in her own skin.

[@cometgirl217]

How else could they expect to control us? 🤨

[@zakiya1635]

@bayleebaxter9475 Even if she weren't kind, etc, and instead an evil hateful person, body shaming is just wrong (wish I could find a stronger word). Its mysogenistic because its usually women who are expected to be svelt/beautiful. Men can be baldheaded, big bellied a$$holes and most wouldn't bat an eye making them the love interest to the "prettiest" woman in the world. We as a society need to reorient ourselves. That's why you have so many accepting shallowness in humans. Probably why so many need therapy because we only look for the surface in relationships instead of building deeper, long-lasting ones.

[@NemSeiPow]

I think people are upset that she and Luke aren't a couple in real life and the only reason that doesn't happen is because she's fat!

[@paulan7218]

Unfortunately, it’s because she doesn’t have the ideal body type. She’s gorgeous, but she’s not a Barbie and woman for the most part feel better when they put other women down. that’s why most of my friends are men. woman are mean and cruel

[@Itsjustme97469]

Just read this article. I am disgusted and disappointed, Nicola is a stunningly beautiful woman which has been made clear by the amount of love she is receiving all over social media! Just hurts my heart to see something like this about such an amazing woman.

[@elsiegonzalez5923]

Yes!!! Exactly. She is being celebrated and loved as a leading role. She’s a stunner and she is who people want to see.

[@Itsjustme97469]

Just wanted to add that there should be ZERO reviews of a tv show that mention the size of Nicola’s body. She is a wonderful actress and I truly believe she would be just as enjoyable to watch at any size. It truly is impossible being a woman. I see no articles critiquing Luke Newton’s body.

[@lucentaunisage]

Awhile back I read an article regarding a request from Nic to stop sending her messages on social media about her body. The sad fact that the writer was trying to say (and I am quoting this) was: "Coughlan’s courteous response to trolls is indicative of how many women still feel pressure to remain ‘nice’ even in the face of wholly unacceptable behavior."

[@lucentaunisage]

If you are a fan of hers, then you have probably read it somewhere but it hit me how much that effects so many people. And I hope Nicola, the queen that she truly is, will not respond at all - she definitely has nothing to prove.

[@sarahackerman7338]

It is all such bullshit. I have read so many comments from women who feel seen and represented by this show because the romantic lead isn't a size 0. Most people do not fit the beauty standards of Hollywood and the beauty and fashion industry. We have all been told we should feel bad about ourselves and that we aren't worthy because we don't fit a standard that only a very small portion of the population does. And it isn't jist men who perpetuate these beliefs and standards. I feel that women are often worse about it. We judge other women and judge ourselves against them to either feel better or worse based on how we compare. When it comes down to it, some people are just lucky gene pool winners who were endowed with beauty. Society assigns more worth to them because of it. But we make up society so what if we stopped playing along and buying into these ideas? Part of me wants to defend Nicola, but a bigger part of me is angry that this is even a discussion and that a woman's value is driven predominately by her level of attractiveness.

[@Vanessalamatamang09]

It’s pretty easy to put two and two together! Look at the red pin Nicola wonderfully displays at each red carpet/interview and the article author’s (Zoe Strimpel) unhinged tweets. A classic case of “I hate your politics so I’ll call you ugly”, to someone who is clearly attractive. There is no other reasoning!

[@majeda_a]

EXACTLY 👏🏼👏🏼 this author simply hates the fact Nicola is super pro Palestine.

[@daalimbe]

A z*onist displaying absolutely disgusting behaviour towards someone for standing up for what they believe in? Yeah... yeah, that tracks

[@SunnivaAMV]

Good catch! Seems like a bitter and spiteful person through and through.

[@cinemadupapa]

OH WOW!!! Thank you for putting that out. Just googled her - and she literally has an article titled “Anti-Israel Jews are worse than antisemitic”, which tells you EVERYTHING about the kind of person she is. Also never forget that The Spectator is a conservative magazine and isn’t really shy about it - so the fact that this crazy Zionist’s article bashing an Irish Pro-Palestine woman using her fucked up internalized misogyny and fatphobia veiled as some kind of a pseudoacademic gender rhetoric, and not a subjective, wholly inaccurate bias that it is was allowed to get published isn’t all that surprising.

[@maud375]

@@majeda_a I came here to say exactly that.

[@byejesper]

The moment the writer made note of the harper's cover, we weren't talking about penelope anymore or the bridgerton plot line, we were talking about Nicola PERSONALLY. God, how I wish someone, anyone, from production or cast (not nic) would speak out against this, even if only indirectly. The whole thing makes me nauseous.

[@avantika_singh]

And have they actually seen the Harper's cover they are referring to? It's so stunning that when I first saw it, I had to take a moment to just stare at it.

[@Almarilys]

You're absolutely right to point that out, it is a direct attack to Nicola and her body. That is so low, disgusting and disturbing.

[@Firegen1]

I saw we ask Cait Moran to jump in. This is her bag. She can be three times as cutting as Whistledown in delicious combat boots.

[@mawardati]

The author screams jealous and insecure about her own body that she want to make other incredible people feel shit too. I think the comment under that article should be “honey if u feel some type of way watching bigger body being represented then that is a you problem. Go out and touch grass or something”. 🙄

[@kellydodson6572]

The wild thing is that Nicola is midsize at the most. So a woman who is even considered straight sized by normalized standards is being called “fat” in a negative way…when she is completely straight sized!!!!!!!!! As a size 20 female, this has me flummoxed…

[@LovernotafighterFL]

Exactly!!! And Luke started out as a more midsized boy himself.

[@maireflannigan5087]

Look the actress in question is overweight, period. I love Bridgerton and I love Polin, but I don't find her hot. The carriage scene was extremely cringe. I agree with the article, sorry.

[@lmaolini]

​@@maireflannigan5087i hope you know how nasty and weird you are. most of all you are objectively wrong. she is absolutely stunning. if you arent attracted to her, thats fine but thats all. you have no business being this way. You arent only hurting her feelings with this but everyone who also looks like her and has to see your comment. have a bad day

[@kelseyjmoore]

​@@maireflannigan5087Well, that says a lot about you... To you, anyone "overweight" cannot objectively be attractive. I think you should go take a hard look at yourself and your values, and get off the internet. Stop judging people and being so toxic.

[@kelseyjmoore]

​@@maireflannigan5087​Well, that says a lot about you... To you, anyone "overweight" cannot objectively be attractive. I think you should go take a hard look at yourself and your values, and get off the internet. Stop judging people and being so toxic.

[@christinamorgan4248]

In what world is Nicola not hot!! She is beautiful inside and out. Skinny doesn't mean sexy or pretty! Everyone is different and that's beautiful!

[@maud375]

Those people are the same people that say 'nothing tastes as good as skinny feels'. The venn diagram is a circle.

[@DlitMusic]

💯 Nicola is very beautiful! The diversity and differences between people adds to their own unique beauty. 😊👍🏾

[@christinamorgan4248]

Its just horrible how they felt they felt like they needed to rip her down! This woman has been all over the world slaying it!!! Anyone would be lucky to be with her!

[@The-Busy-Beeeee]

@@christinamorgan4248LITERALLY THO EVERYTIME SHE WAS ON SCREEN MY JAW WAS ON THE FLOOR, my dumbass bi heart was through the dam roof

[@pagesinked]

The one who wrote the article is also a Zionist and the publication is right wing as well, so the author was probably also targeting Nicola for her support of Palestine and ceasefire. I applaud Nicola for her bravery in standing up and continuing to wear her ceasefire pin at events. ALSO Nicola is fcking gorgeous and the author of the article needs to check herself first before commenting on someone's body. The things this woman wrote are still things people say nowadays despite how many strides we have made in trying to achieve body equality. As someone who has struggled with weight issues my whole life since high school, the article was sickening to read. I would want young people to look up to someone like Nicola and not anyone like the writer. Thank you for making this video even though its a difficult subject. 💜

[@AmyFurnerGrant1989]

I was coming here to say the same thing! When I saw the other articles the author wrote it made so much sense. Nicola is a beautiful, kind and clearly compassionate woman who is deserving of all the rewards she is getting!

[@souleylove]

The fact that that lady spent literally the first half of her article being racist and the other half being fat phobic blows my mind! That article is so malicious and I wish it could be taken down, but I'm sure the magazine won't do anything about it.

[@SsLA2313]

shes apparently written articles supporting is*ael and is a loud and proud zionist. She was trying to bring down nicola for supporting palestine, im sure there are so many of these people trying to drag her down behind the scenes as well, which means the magazine is probably zionist owned as well as are most of western media.

[@prolificwriter]

I have rewatched bridgerton season 3 about 6 times now, and I still have to pause certain moments simply because Nicola’s beauty and grace playing Penelope this season has me completely floored every time. Nicola is absolutely stunning, and I can’t believe shit like this is still being published, and treated like “valid” critique. I am disgusted at the fat phobia and just absolute sexism radiating off of this pile of trash article. Thank you for calling it out, I know it’s hard to stand up to this shit sometimes as a woman, you’re truly doing gods work 🙌

[@LovernotafighterFL]

Agreed. She looks like a porcelain doll.

[@lmaolini]

as a lesbian, the only reason I will start bridgerton as soon as june 13th hits is cause of her, had I known someone this beautiful was in the show I would've probably started sooner but oh well. So I get what you mean🤞 you're gonna see me self inserting through colin🤭 anyways whoever wrote this article is nasty af and deserves nothing

[@lillithlochwoode788]

This! Ive been captivated scince season one they nuked her hard cause she was still glowing!

[@promisedjubileedaniels]

I totally agree! I'm as hetero as it gets and I still think she has the most kissable mouth on earth.

[@sharonzion8557]

Right!? Like in ep one after Colin apologized when the sun hit her face 😭😍

[@Wren402]

There is nothing universal about thinking thin is more beautiful. When my mother was a newly wed in 1955, she and my dad visited my grandparents in Cuba. She was tall and thin like a modern fashion model. She said she was considered unattractive and unhealthy because she was so thin. Everyone kept trying to feed her because she was too skinny. Every culture and era has a different point of view on what makes a beautiful body.

[@MagicandPastaTrading]

Exactly! When I visited Africa in college I was a size 16. They thought I was the perfect size. I was floored. In the states I was hideous. Beauty standards are not only different around the world, but they come and go.

[@melody_shmelody]

Further, during the Regency period in which Bridgerton is set, larger, softer bodies were valued and considered attractive.

[@MagicandPastaTrading]

@@melody_shmelody exactly!!!!!

[@Wren402]

@@cepriela I agree with everything you’re saying. I was just trying to point out that beauty standards aren’t universal.

[@MissMoontree]

@ceprimariela Nothing you said made that original comment less valid or relevant. Try to listen before you lecture.

[@melissaisloud7404]

Who is letting Cressida Cowper publish? This is obviously her doing. Who else would be so insanely bitter, jealous, and black hearted?

[@Mrsamj1989]

It also could be Philipa or prudence 😂 they were so surprised that Debling was courting Pen

[@willdo2909]

​@@Mrsamj1989That's funny, but unless they are just playing dumb, they are too ...little interested in intellectual pursuits to use such words😂

[@Mrsamj1989]

@@willdo2909 lol yeah after I posted the comment I thought to myself that they aren’t articulate enough to write articles 🤣🤣

[@willdo2909]

@@Mrsamj1989 ☺️

[@melissaisloud7404]

@@Mrsamj1989 Hahaha… Prudence and Phillippa are big dumdums. I wonder if Portia is harder on Pen bc Portia realizes that of all of her daughters Pen is the most like her. Shes smart, a bit devious, and good with finances. Much like Portia.

[@lilybelleheller]

Not only would Colin absolutely find Penelope insanely attractive, he would also 100% think that he was marrying up, too. We love a simp like that.

[@GotLostProductions]

My mother always had a rant about double standards in her back pocket every time she saw a very average guy playing a Goofy Sitcom Dad with an absolute smokeshow of a wife putting up with his shenanigans at all times, so I've been primed to fight for Nicola Coughlan's rights as a leading lady pretty much since birth.

[@patriciasalem3606]

That's so funny! I even named it: "According to Jim" syndrome.

[@dr.braxygilkeycruises1460]

*Kevin James and Leah Remini* in *King of Queens.* Yep.

[@LauraLehamArt]

I was a teenager in the 90s when the "waif" look and Kate Moss were the in thing. I was Latina and by no means fat or even chubby, but because I had hips and a butt and breasts, I felt fat and gross. And then, a few years later, once my self-esteem was destroyed, Latinas like Jlo, Christina Aguilera, etc were so in and I was still feeling inadequate about myself. We have got to stop judging people by the shapes and sizes of their bodies. Please humanity. Please.

[@The-Busy-Beeeee]

Literally like it’s so gross, honey I bet you were (and still am) absolutely stunning, this society is so awful for making you feel that way

[@patriciasalem3606]

Interestingly, a lot of people in the fashion industry credit Kate Moss and that tiny nude Calvin Klein dress for changing body image ideals in the '90s and the creation of the double zero size. I've always been on the other side of the pendulum from what was fashionable too. It's exhausting...

[@starduster1340]

My teen years were in the late 60s and early 70s when Twiggy was the image pushed for everybody. I totally know how devastating that is too beautiful women. Media and advertising have nothing to do with truth. Thank you for your KZbin testimony.

[@LauraLehamArt]

​@@The-Busy-BeeeeeThank you! I appreciate you.

[@LauraLehamArt]

​@patriciasalem3606 it is exhausting. I am turning 44 this year, and I am finally at the point where I really love myself and I know I have aged well. I wish that for everybody

[@anare3050]

In the regency the most desirable body type was Penelope. So even on an academic and historical setting she’s wrong.

[@christyb2912]

No I don't think so. None of the portraits of court or noble young ladies of the period show that body type.

[@anare3050]

Look a little closer. Do a quick google.

[@shirin9452]

@@anare3050huh. I did a little google and you appear to be right. Interesting 😊

[@katietimoney6405]

​@@christyb2912 nor true. I was at a lecture on georgian theatre in Bath last year and the artwork of one of the leading actresses at the time was a woman in that body type.

[@SweetSallyRadio]

"But will she win the audience?"... Ok, this only shows that this author has been living under a rock since the release of part 1 or she's so conditioned by her own self worth and internalised issues that her brain can't even begin to grasp the successful of Nicola in this season. Because she CLEARLY won the audience. You can like the plot or not, you can not agree on some decisions about the storyline but... what it's clear is that absolutely everyone is amazed by Nicola. Not only because she's an amazing actor, we already new that, or that a lot people can identify themselves with her character, but there's something even more simple that applies on this specific subject: If you put a "not hot/not attractive" actor doing a sex scene you wouldn't have a miriad of people in the planet re watching those scenes and finding them sexy. Because we are culturally conditioned to find some physical characteristics "universally" attractive throughout time and place. So, it's clear to me that she must definitely fit in those standards 🤷🏻‍♀️ Obviously, sexiness it's something completely subjective (I myself didn't find my husband attractive the first time we met even tho some of my girl friends did... and now he's the sexiest man alive for me, because ✨ personality✨). But the real problem is that those kind of articles are still published, because that means that we have a long run to go in terms of not being a shitty species...

[@bisanne8496]

Exactly this. “Will she win the audience?” Um, what. Fans are feral for her. This is the sexiest season yet. Where has this author been?

[@The-Busy-Beeeee]

@@bisanne8496LITERALLY it’s my fave season because of her tbh, she’s absolutely gorgeous and I just wanna give her a dam hug whenever she tears up. In regards to the trailer SO HAPPY SEEING THEM BE CUTE AND HAPPY TOGETHER ITS SO PRECIOUS.

[@bisanne8496]

@@The-Busy-Beeeee Right? Nicola is perfect. The woman who wrote that article is not only hateful but basically insane. And apparently she’s also dead inside, because people are watching that carriage scene on a loop. It’s a hot scene with two hot actors.

[@The-Busy-Beeeee]

@@bisanne8496 REALLLL

[@IreneSánchezCarvajal]

It's actually crazy how internalised we have these fatphobia and misogynistic beliefs. Even though I was so glad that they finally chose a non-super-skinny actress to play a leading romantic role, I still felt weird watching the carriage scene. And that made me sooo mad and realised we DO need far more exposure to deeing this because it's normal and it's beautiful. There will always be people that want to keep the status quo, and this journalist is one of them, and I'm so sorry that Nicola has to go through being one of the first non-skinny women in these roles, but she is opening a path for the rest to come and for the public to normalising other beautiful bodies. Lots of love to Nicola and lots of love to you for speaking up!!!!

[@navyamunjal610]

It is so disgusting, that we have to discuss and dissect her beauty and body at all. Nicola Coughlan is standardly beautiful, literally in a very Eurocentric gaze. I have never been more obsessed with a Bridgerton lead, as I have with her. Her diversity, her kindness, her resilience to give an ongoing genocide a consistent platform, while the most "stunning" actresses and actors refuse to associate with, has me enamored. Nicola is beautiful, in every essence.

[@rosadeplata1752]

As a straight female: She is hot though (Nic). Very hot. Not that that matters. But... All I can say is good thing she has the bluest eyes so that the gaze doesn't travel further south.😅❤

[@lilkirsche]

I fell the same. ❤️

[@Kat-cu9zp]

I was raised my entire life to think that no one would want me if I wasn't skinny. I was never going to be skinny so I convinced myself no one would ever want me. Now as an adult, I am just starting to look around and realize that what I was taught was wrong. Walking around in everyday life there are multiple examples where non-skinny women have partners and kids. I hate the concept that because you are fat it is not realistic that you would find love, because one trip to any store proves that to be false. Also, this stereotype seems to be put primarily on women, because people don't look at men and say he is not worthy of love since he is fat.

[@Kat-cu9zp]

I also want to point out that Bridgerton is a perfect example of how "attractiveness" is influenced by hair, makeup, and fashion. The same person is given a glow up for their season which suddenly makes them attractive when previously we are supposed to believe they somehow were not attractive. The prime example is Anthony season 1 vs. Anthony season 2. The difference that the change in hair made is surprising.

[@nicoleowen7803]

@@Kat-cu9zp Same. Wig. Penelope is wearing the SAME WIG!!! The colour looks completely different but it's the same wig. I'm STILL stuck on this.

[@buttercupup3687]

Nichola is a flipping goddess of a woman and I will not stand for any slander and my friend and I were so excited for her season largely because we have never seen anyone with her body type in a role like this in a show like this and we are still so excited for part two! These people are either blind or jealous and petty and just want to tear others down

[@lilykatmoon4508]

Penelope is by far my favorite character in the series! She’s smart, funny, independent, and of course, a goddess! I was thrilled with her arc in season three. There were several times I actually teared up like when Colin told off Lady Featherington and stood up for Pen and declared his love for her ❤. In the not too distant past, a fuller figured person of either gender was considered more attractive because it indicated wealth and plenty of food. For women it also symbolized fecundity. The writer of this article is unhinged. As a demi-sexual I literally feel absolutely zero sexual attraction unless I really know someone, and don’t even bother going out with anyone I don’t feel we have enough in common to have good conversation. So, I absolutely get where you’re coming from when you talk about how being with someone can change your perception of their attractiveness can change over time. This was a great video. I agree with everything you brought up!

[@dianalopes2155]

I am so mad at the “journalist” who wrote this “article”. The fact that she took the time to wrote something so disrespectful and demeaning to a fellow woman is beyond comprehension to me. She openly attacks not Pen but Nicola and it is completely wrong because she masks the “article” by claiming that she is analysing Nicola’s character but in fact she is directly attacking Nicola. This “article” is just direct and blatant bullying and the “journalist” really needs to study and research what intersectionality actually is before writing such a profoundly stupid piece. Thank you Sammy for doing this video because there are issues we can’t simply put our heads in the sand and not talk about. This conversation is necessary, your video is necessary. And to Nicola, who is the representation we actually want - relatable, funny, brilliant, beautiful inside and out, and sexy AF, we see you and we love you, deeply!

[@nicoleowen7803]

Not to mention that a very, very brief foray into art history would tell you that the level of skinny that is seen as beautiful today is not what was 'hot'. You see heavy curves that aren't due to simple genetics allll over the place. This level of journalism is.... well, not journalism.

[@paulan7218]

Don’t you know these days fat people are the only group that’s allowed to be discriminated against and mocked without repercussion

[@livinator_ah]

i have sooo many thoughts about this fuckass article. i didn’t read it. it’s not worth my time, but i’ve read the excerpts and they literally make me feel sick. first and foremost, as a bisexual bridgerton fan, i find Nicola EXTREMELY attractive. i know that my attraction to her is irrelevant, but to imply that people who watch the show aren’t attracted to nicola and penelope is quite literally false. secondly, the timing of this article is diabolical. a week after the premiere, and 20ish days before part 2 is out, where we KNOW by interviews that nic has done, that she’s going to appear mostly nude. she’s talked about this, and her relationship with her body and acting in numerous interviews, so to put something like this out before (not that it shoulda been put out at all) the second part even drops, effectively undercutting it before anyone fucking sees it is insanity. the author of this article is being dragged back and forth on the internet and for good reason. i pity the author, i really do, because the language used in this article is most definitely the same definitive, inflexible language that she uses to describe herself. i am of a pretty similar body type to nic (despite being 7 inches taller) so when articles like this get published, its not only a stab in the gut to the subject of the article, but to those who relate to the subject. this should’ve never, ever been published but i am so glad to see people rallying behind nicola and cheering her on. she is sexy, she is hot, she is desirable but none of those things dictate her worth as a human being, or her talent as an actor. thank you for speaking on this. you did a really great job in dissecting the article, and the composure you kept throughout the video is admirable. you remained cool, calm and collected, but were nevertheless passionate in what you were saying and it really did translate well. see you next video! much love.

[@constancep7632]

I'm bi too, "average" sized. I swear I spent the whole time while watching the episodes last night going "OMG she's gorgeous. She's so beautiful." 😍

[@molls91]

Thank you for speaking up. So disgusted that was written and then published

[@ladylincoln5546]

One of the reasons I adore the character of Pen (and the actress who plays her) so much is because she doesn't fit the mold - and it is beyond refreshing and continues to be. Thank you for this! I enjoyed listening to your valuable and insightful thoughts.

[@joannecash7243]

Thank you for this. I just found this when I searched for more of your content, as you are talent, insightful and very knowledgeable and entertaining. Your take on this is so on the money, speaking as a former hot chick, former ‘fat’ chick and currently average chick. (Of 68 years). I’ve felt the social and professional bigotry thrown at my body and my face. I ran into a man I knew as a teenaged ‘hot’ girl. 1. He refused to believe I was who I said I was. 2. He whined and almost cried when he came to believe me. 3. He loudly called his wife to ‘guess who this is!!!!’ And when she could not, howled out my name as if he’d been shot. 4. As I walked away from him, he called out loudly, ‘did this happen to your sisters too?’ So, yes that society expects us to conform to popular taste, as if it was a moral failing to age, gain weight and become wrinkled, is highly offensive and hurtful. We try to maintain the machine that is our bodies, but this should be for the purposes of health and strength and possible living to enjoy our grand children. That I say ‘should’ is unfair and I hope no one is hurt by this. But these goals are my motivation to have a healthy lifestyle. I got to decide what my priorities were. But… life happens, I developed a malabsorption of nutrients syndrome and lost muscle, strength, and stamina. My appearance has been affected by these issues. I do not feel obliged to apologize or explain this to others. Nor should anyone else. God help us, as people to emerge from all of our various bigotries. So, Again thank you for this. It not only applies to the weight issues, it transcends to a level where we all can understand this aspect of society.

[@annapurna4054]

Up until the early 1900s, women who carried more weight were considered far more attractive and desirable, while slender women were considered unattractive. For men, their heavier weight was perceived as a sign of wealth and power. So it's only in recent times that this perception has shifted to the opposite side of the spectrum. Thank you for saying what needs to be said loudly and much more often in response to this kind of erroneous and small-minded thinking. You nailed every point. And, yes, Nicola is gorgeous, and the author of the article is, unfortunately, sadly clueless.

[@AK-jt9gx]

The “ideal” weight class for women has always been the harder one to obtain. Being wealthy, having extra time, and being mentally well have always made women more likely to meet the societal standard of weight. It’s pretty screwed up.

[@lunak6561]

I think that there are still countries where wealthy people display that they are wealthy by being fat.

[@annapurna4054]

@@lunak6561 Yep, there are. Good point.

[@reneetabata5903]

Well not only that but a tan was a no no. It meant you were working in the fields.

[@patriciasalem3606]

@@reneetabata5903 Yes, it wasn't really until the middle of the 20th century and the creation of the jet set that having a tan became desirable.

[@sofyaremez7866]

I just found out about that article a few hours ago, and I was fuming 😡 thank you so much for speaking up. It’s just crazy that the article was not only written, but also published.

[@Youknowwhoyounopoo]

I was bullied so much in high school and I vew it as both a blessing as a curse. It absolutely sucks to be bullied but it taught me, early on, to not give a F**k about what other people thought about me.

[@byejesper]

this video is sooooo good! just finished it and i do have to say how insane this situation is. i was at the bridgerton netflix press event in rio de janeiro and one of the fans literally asked nic to marry her and gave her an expensive brand ring lmaooooo UNATTRACTIVE TO WHOM??? it's so tiring to have so many comments being made about nic&newts appearances, specially when people use luke's beauty to shit on nicola and vice-versa, 'cause they're such good friends, just makes it even shittier. i can't imagine being this comfortable to spew such hateful bullshit about people I KNOW will read this DURING WORK HOURS AND GETTING PAID TO DO IT. the whole thing feels like a bad acid trip

[@davidmarlajurek5038]

I’m listening to you Sammy, and I’m reliving my experiences as a teen, young adult, and, even as a middle aged woman. All I ever heard was “we do not like fat people in our family, you need to watch what you eat…”, “you would attract guys IF you lost weight”, “aren’t you interested in dating? You would be so hot if you lost weight.” I have heard these platitudes from the age of 13, and, at 50, my brain still has to dissect out the supposedly well meaning but truly abusive language that still permeates my daily life. Nicola is a QUEEN!!!!! I cannot begin to imagine what she has to deal with being in the public eye. I started watching Bridgerton because of Nicola, finally seeing a character I could finally identify with. Thank you for being so forthright and vulnerable in sharing your own experiences.

[@wiseathena97]

I heard about this article and was too disgusted to even read it, so thank you for the video. I don't have much to add since there's lovely discourse already in the comments but on a much lighter note, I just feel the need to say that... I am genuinely baffled that the author made it a point to say that Nicola is not hot. She is. I'm sorry but speaking as the raging bisexual that I am, I too would kneel at her feet like the goddess she is. Like I am genuinely confused how someone could say something so wrong with their whole chest like HUH??? People can and are hot at any weight like are you blind 😭

[@Forge8scardo7]

Wasn’t expecting this video, but it’s an important conversation to have! Anytime something is “standardized “ it is usually meant to make it easier to comprehend for large groups of people or to be interchangeable. With that in mind, it becomes instantly clear that beauty should not be standardized as it is so individual. Everyone has their own values, template,desires, needs etc. One other thought is that while men historically have set the “standard”, unfortunately some of the harshest enforcers can be women. I can’t tell you how many times my sisters or girl friends have felt degraded by other women. Overall, I’m really grateful you posted this Sammy! Really made me think about some deep shit tonight. We all need to be better!

[@miilktyong_]

thank you so much for speaking up, god hearing what that article has written just breaks my heart so muchhh. As a girl who is on the curvy side it was always put into my mind that i had to be thin only then i can possibly think about anyone in a romantic sense and it was such a horrible mindset i slowly tried to work out of and seeing bridgerton season 3 just made me so happy and it truly made me accept myself and my body and the fact that i don't have to be thin to be loved and to be viewed attractive. It means a lot to me that you broke down and pointed out the false statements in this disgusting article.

[@amyra8159]

Girl, I'm glad you found your confidence back. Don't get thin because of romance but start loosing some weight if you are overweight. I'm not fat shaming, I'm plus sized myself and I'm having severe health issues because of that. We should all think about our health before any beauty stantards society expect us to follow. Whether it's supermodel slim or plus size, when it's starting harming our health, we should take measures to prevent more harm from happening.

[@miilktyong_]

@@amyra8159 yess absolutely i completely agree with you

[@allisonfisher9304]

Never watched you before, but giving you a like and subscribing because you’re bringing light to this. Thank you for making this video, as a fat girl who actually married the muscular, handsome, successful man of her dreams, Penelope’s story is completely legit. I’m pretty sure this was a hit piece, perpetrated by the author, as a self-hating Zionist. Her political leanings are a major factor here, and it needs to be called out.

[@Zelda00Gamer]

The thing too that this author is utterly ignoring is that the costumes for Pen were meant to make her look bad. There is no waistline. That’s the point. The fit of the dress is based on the size of your boobs tbh and we know Pen is gifted there! The costumes this season also moved away from the eras real design and gave her more of a waistline and that showed her true figure which is very hourglass (a coveted shape this author should find beautiful based on her shit take). If anything she should be saying Pen didn’t look good in her old costumes (duh that’s the point) but she looks great in her NEW costumes with a shape and colors that suit her. I just can’t

[@kikiTHEalien]

I was about to comment that it seems the production worked a bit too hard to sell her as unattractive in the previous seasons for the sake of the glow up.

[@deepshikhasah160]

Spot ON!!!! Thanks a lot Sammy for hitting the bull's eye of the issue here, which has been lumbering around the entertainment industry and the world today. Being fat is neither ugly nor unattractive. According to me, Season 3 focuses on the fact that any woman can be confident, sexual, and desirable. No need to worry about how one looks or how society perceives. Love Nicola Coughlan for her physical attributes and sparkling personality both on and off screen. ❤❤❤

[@r_r_r_r]

“There was no perception of my attractiveness that existed independently” GO OFF, QUEEN! I had a similar experience as you, and have lol’d my way to my own self-love ever since.

[@KarlaBermudez88]

I started watching Bridgerton because of Nicola 🥰. I saw the first season the first day it came out in 2020, I also went to buy the books that same year(all used of course) (I had picked up a Bridgerton book in 2010 but was too young to even know what was going on so never even finished ). In the books, her weight is discussed, in the show it is implied, and was very pleased that it was not mentioned if at all, as much as the books did. The author of that article might've had too many delusional-pumpkin-juices, cause idk in what world she thought she ate.

[@alisasandul190]

Your dedication, focus and attention to detail is truly a pleasure to witness. Not only that, you are a talented orator. Whatever the topic of discussion may be, however convoluted or uncomfortable the conversation, you are eloquent and measured in your responses. Not to mention compelling as hell. I applaud you and thank you for this incredibly mature and honest response. I often find myself incapable of having these types of conversations without blowing a gasket. So instead I simply don't engage. So truly thank you. Keep up the amazing work! I'm always excited to hear your take! 😊

[@MindiB]

What kind of personality is so enamored of itself that it assumes its own preferences are or should be universal? Who can get so lost in their own heads that they equate “stuff I don’t like” with “stuff that shouldn’t exist.” Perhaps the greatest horror of social media’s relentless amplification of individual voices is the illusion that all of these voices are of equal importance and validity. They are not. No one has the right to impose their “aesthetics” (or, more accurately, prejudice and ignorance) on anyone else, and criticism is not cancellation. The proper outcome of holding the opinion that a particular actor is not “hot” enough to lead a romantic series is for the holder of that opinion not to watch the series. We need to bring back the concept of shaming people for offensive, bullying behavior.

[@mariia_jpg]

My mom was chubby when she was a teen. People would say something like “It is so unfortunate that she is fat cause she has a very pretty face”. She internalised it so much that she has been dieting her whole life, working out so much and I grew up with almond mom basically and did rhythmic gymnastics which caused me to have severe body dysmorphia. My whole life I thought that attractiveness severely depended upon my body weight even though I would consider myself conventionally attractive. Sometimes I can be fatphobic towards myself and others in my head, but at the same time I remember that those are the ideas and standards that society basically planted in me.

[@IsabellaShortes]

This topic makes me so sad because when I clicked on the video, my first thought was that you were really pretty, so I was so shocked when you said that you used to be called ugly. But it makes your point so much clearer about how much society affects us and it even conditions our mind into thinking a certain way, but it also makes it so much more saddening you should've never been told that because you are beautiful ❤

[@buttercupup3687]

Societies beauty standards and misogyny also really had me thinking that I only wanted to wear hyper feminine clothes that showed off my hourglass figure and emphasized my bust because that’s where I was “lacking” I was SO insecure about being not feminine or perfect enough to find a man to marry and have kids with. The day I realized I liked kissing girls in dresses more than I liked being one was the day my body confidence shot WAY up and I slowly started to dress more and more masculine in stuff that I never would have worn before because I thought it was “unattractive” (ie more masculine styles) because I suddenly realized I didn’t have to dress for men 🙀 Realizing I’m queer has helped me dismantle so much but the fact that I had to dismantle so much to actually realize that I’m FREAKING GAY is ridiculous. These standards not only make women insecure, they also keep queer people from realizing they are queer and is the reason comphet is such a prevalent experience for lesbians especially.

[@Kitkat-qq7oh]

Thank you for posting this video. I am wondering- How can an article be written, and published without it going through certain criteria or channels. That being said I wonder what the PR team for the show and Nicola are doing. I’m going to be real here, I’ve been on more sites via KZbin since season 3 started and a lot of the channel creators are not monitoring what nasty comments people leave about our beloved Nicola. It’s beyond disgusting. Women need to stand up for other women!! We need to advocate for Nicola! I hope she knows how much she is loved! Shame on the author of the article!!! Yes there is freedom of speech, but not freedom of stupidity and hate!!!

[@m8a5m]

One of the most crazy things ant this article that it is written by a woman , it is horrible how we can be so malignant to our own sex

[@lovegidget]

Bro that article is so stupid. In high school I had a friend whos shape was like Nicola and guess what? One of her boyfriends was ripped. Like full on abs. The other guy was tall and slender. She dumped both of them. The one with abs caught trying to get back together with her but she didn't want to. Just because u couldn't find someone overweight attractive doesn't mean ur opinion is the only one. My husband is overweight and I love his body. I thought he was hot when we first met. I didn't just love his personality and his body was a downside. I thought his body was really hot. People really need to stop thinking that their opinion is the only opinion

[@avantika_singh]

Hey, just a heads up 'I didn't just love his personality and his body was a downside' because it's an independent sentence, on the first read it is confusing and comes across (or came across to me at least) as that his personality is attractive and the body was a downside. Re-read cleared up that you were trying to say something like- You were attracted to your husband even when you first met, and it wasn't like you loved his personality and the body was a downside. So yeah, just a teeny bit confusing. But anyways, I agree with your entirely and glad for you that you found someone to love so much!

[@supersarah7932]

Thank you for this! I’m sorry we’re in a world where this video is necessary, but you spoke beautifully on the subject.

[@shawnawillingham2977]

The more I see Nicola the more beautiful she is, which I didn't think was possible. She is stunning, and I feel sorry for anyone who can't see her for the gorgeous, funny, warm, talented... woman she is inside and out.

[@melanerowe2417]

You, my girl are awesome! Couldn't have said it better myself. Bravo!

[@LizzieBeth88]

Thank you for doing this! As a plus size girl, I cant express how excited I was for this season. For me, this is the first example of a girl who looks like me as the romantic lead of a genre I love. So again, thank you! And keep doing you ❤

[@LovernotafighterFL]

I think if you saw her off screen she wouldn't even appear plus size, just mid size.

[@TinnekeVDE]

@@LovernotafighterFLshe is I’m sure not plus size in any way and then still what if, people can’t stand people of all kinds finding love

[@paulan7218]

@@LovernotafighterFL I wouldn’t say midsize I’d say she is literally smaller than the average American woman

[@Useruser444-n2c]

What is sad is I found an article Nicola wrote responding to fat phobic comments and reviews of her work published in 2018. 6 years later and it feels like nothing has changed. It was published in the guardian incase you want to read it.

[@teaganpeat8085]

This is so disgusting. When is the world going to realise being skinny does automatically make you more valuable. Nicola is one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen.

[@daaiyah5799]

so glad you’ve opened up this conversation that needs to be had. I will never understand other people’s entitlement to other people’s bodies.

[@Kiwi_fruit_11]

It’s really sad that in this day and age this video response is needed but thank you so much for doing this and putting together such an eloquent reaction. I am really appalled that this was not just written but approved! I have not read the article myself as I will not give them the foot traffic but I had seen the screen shots other posted online. I can only hope that we as a society will hopefully one day be able to move passed judging people’s worth by their physical appearance to such a gross degree.

[@bashby97]

thank you so much for speaking about this. you are amazing

[@naimac1015]

As a bi female I would like to say that yes I look at our Season 3 Lead Female “attributes” and found them extremely attractive! She is gorgeous, the glow up is amazing, I love the change in her wardrobe… but above all so far my favorite part is when she tells off her mom about how Portia only cares when Pen is attracting Lord Debling. Because it’s the minds of my favorite female characters that I truly love (Eloise, Penelope, and Portia)

[@lovelavenderlily]

I knew there were a ton of articles like this one about season 3 and Nicola, but honestly hearing you read those quotes word-for-word nearly made me cry. As a fat woman (who grew up in the 90s and early 00s, no less), this is literally the rhetoric that plays in my head when I think of myself. I’ve been with my partner for nearly ELEVEN years, and STILL I find it hard to believe he is attracted to me, because after all, fat is not hot, it is not erotic. I want to make it clear I do not believe this at all, but my brain regurgitates this discourse to me daily, and while I might not believe it about others, it is INCREDIBLY difficult to separate it from how I feel about myself. The entire world tells you you’re not worth was much when you’re fat, especially if you’re a woman. I find it utterly sickening that A WOMAN not only wrote this out and was like, yeah this is a great, hard-hitting piece of factual journalism, but also that it was published at all.

[@kangasama]

You know what, I found your channel via Bridgerton. I came for the Keke and camaraderie. I will absolutely stay for the thoughtfully prepared, well articulated social commentary. Yes ma'am, more of this please. Great video, I am happy to see the comments here are sane and supportive.

[@LittleMissTotoro]

I have loved Penelope in Bridgerton since the first second I saw her on screen. And for anyone to be a worthy romance for her!?? I mean, I will physically fight for her. Nobody could ever be worthy. As a child in the 90s/00s I was also told I was fat. As a US size 10. And that meant nobody will ever love me. So thanks for pushing back against this article ❤

[@gabswebs]

Thank you for speaking about this, you express yourself so well 💖

[@kajielin4354]

My dating app profile starts with "I am fat" and the amount of people that think "no you're not!" or "no, you are pretty" are good ways to start a conversation is really weird. I am fat, and I just want to avoid someone feeling decieved when meeting me, because that can become dangerous. But nowhere am I saying I am ugly, lol.

[@lauraelizabet178]

Haven’t read the article but I think it’s sad and disgusting that people wouldn’t find Nicola to be a plausible romantic lead. We have a deep seated cultural narcissism that tells us people only “deserve” love if they look “perfect” or as close to it as they can get. So much of the advice women get is rooted in fear of being left for a “better model” and people harbor a lot of internalized self hatred. I have a feeling that seeing even a midsize romantic lead is awakening a lot of uncomfortable cognitive dissonance in people who have gone through great pains to meet the cultural beauty standards and still feel undeserving of love, or haven’t found it yet. They’re out of sorts because they feel like they’ve done everything “right” and yet this overweight person is shown onscreen being passionately loved. Nicola is beautiful and there’s nothing unconventional about her. I’m glad they didn’t make weight loss part of her glow up. She was worthy just as she is and the glow up was more about her owning her own style and putting herself out there.

[@LarissaFay]

The Season 3 Part 1 numbers does not lie. Most people can relate to both Colin and Penelope's journey... and Francesca too. This season is extremely successful because people can relate to the people and the stories. The absolute hypocrisy and misogyny of the article is evident. Social influence, advertisements, articles and trends warps the mind to think 'THAT is normal, attractive and accepted... I have to change to become that.' But this is entirely untrue, beauty trends and "standards" are forever shifting and dependent on where you live. We need to encouragement ourselves and others to have self confidence, self esteem, self kindness and respect. That article is hateful nonsense.

[@LarissaFay]

encourage* lol

[@karouakiva1714]

My god, Nicola looks so beautiful as Penelope that sometimes it would take me out of the story. Seriously, she looks SPECTACULAR. Nicola is kind, smart, funny, and drop-dead gorgeous. I would be so lucky to be with someone like her. I'd even come out to my father for someone like her.

[@Cybrarian1965]

Your story is exactly my story - I too was not a beanpole and was called fat, starting at about 6 or 7 years old. I look at photos of myself back then and get so angry because I WAS NOT fat! I was put on my first (of dozens) of diets at age 12. All the diets and negative criticism actually ended up making me fat. (There are tons of studies now that show that this happens.) Anyway, the saddest thing though is that I'm about 60 years old and nothing has changed. The American Medical Association (AMA) classified alcoholism as a disease in 1956 and included addiction as a disease in 1987. And yet still, there is a stigma against alcoholics and addicts that they lack willpower and are just weak. The AMA only recognized obesity as a disease in 2013. I don't think we'll see a change in societal attitudes in our lifetimes. Especially when businesses can make as much money as they do off of the current image of thin is beautiful.

[@SpoonG]

When I was a teen in the LOVELY 00s, I was fat shamed multiple times by adults (both men and women) because I have thicker legs. Meanwhile, I was severely underweight due to an ED and undiagnosed celiac disease. The fact that this article was written by a woman appalls me.

[@dogplanetofficial]

GO OFF SAMMY!!!!! Fantastic video, and eloquently put. I can’t begin to explain how much season 3 has made me feel validated and seen BECAUSE of Nicola’s role as a romantic lead. I hope the article is taken down, and the writer is taken down several pegs until she learns how deeply troubling, disrespectful and misleading it all was. The more people call out this kind of bullshit rhetoric, the closer we come to legitimate representation and honest narratives.

[@nuttystarr]

Thank you. Just Thank you. I am over 40 and have lived all my life arguing with myself about my worth vs my appearance. Knowing my worth is not determined by my appearance but finding little evidence of that in the world. You are wise beyond your years. So thank you ❤

[@frankathl1]

According to the Bridgerton costume department (who should know), Nicola Coughlan has a normal body type.

[@tempest2000]

I first knew of Nicola from watching Derry Girls years ago. It was a great show with a great cast, but for me Nicola was a stand-out for her stellar talent, comedic gifts, and striking beauty. I was happy to see her have a central role in Bridgerton, and she is gorgeous before and after her season 3 glow-up. She's far more photogenic than many of the conventionally thin actresses....but in the end beauty is so subjective and culturally influenced. The writer of that article is incredibly dull not to realize her personal opinion is not true for everyone.

[@ekcsl]

Sammy you need a podcast. This was so smart and eloquent...just amazing

[@notevenfunny_]

This is exactly the type of rhetoric that Nicola was talking about in her interviews. The way people have been so shamelessly body shaming both Luke and Nicola (but especially Nicola) just tells me that as much as Bridgerfans pretend to love inclusivity, they really don’t. Just…argh!! Anyway, to end on a positive note, Sammy, did you see the new stills of Polin dancing? They looks so freaking cute, I swear. This is why I say them getting together wasn’t too soon for me, because we get moments like Polin dancing together that we sadly never got for Kanthony because they got together at the literal last second of the show.

[@Ura-Flore]

Thank you for this video. Just thank you (it is 4 am for me so I will not say more + there is nothing to say more : incredible woman spreading incredible message thank you)❤

[@Frainbowarrior]

The person who wrote this article, doesn't deserve to breathe same Nicola's air.

[@tessarasinar8448]

I completely agree. And these types of comments are almost always directed at women in the industry; countless movies and TV shows depict scenarios where a "less attractive" man ends up with an exceedingly beautiful woman, seemingly out of his league, but this is normalized because most of the media reflects male perspectives. Conversely, when women who are deemed "less attractive" are paired with "more attractive" male partners, there's always commentary suggesting that the relationship stems from pity or is unrealistic. Men can be portrayed as "average" and still be worshipped, while women are consistently pressured to validate their worth through beauty. It's sickening.

[@AoifeCRyan]

Completely agree with every single thing you said! It infuriates me how blind we are to how influenced we are by what we are told to think about things!! People are so disconnected to the truth of their actual desire.

[@Connie-wd6ki]

I didnt know about this article! Thanks for speaking about this.

[@Abril-1234]

This is such an important conversation to be having but dang is it bringing up some repressed complex emotions in me 😢 Coming of age in the early 2000s as a chubby girl was… an experience

[@eliza6971]

I definitely broke a couple hearts totally cluelessly because, as a fat girl, I didn't even know it was possible for someone to care about me like that. Things have definitely changed but I really had to rewire my brain on a "there is no spoon" level to get there.

[@mariep7919]

You're so well spoken! Well done. Your opinion is ON POINT. This article pissed me off.

[@Spiritwhisperer11]

thank you for covering this, I had not heard of the article but I am horrified that it was written in the first place. You covered this in an eloquent, vunerable, sensitive and fair way.

[@meghandog]

how disgusting. you can never tell MEEEEE nor ANYONEEEEEE i rock with who is beautiful or not. The inherent sexism and racism that this type of "journalism" spews. It is written in BAD FAITH....She is delusional and will never know true love, beauty, OR solidarity. I relate sm to you and you beautiful ppl out there!!!!! thanks for speaking on this!

[@browneyedguitargirl]

In addition to how rude the journalist was with regard to Nicola Coughlan’s appearance, Nicola Coughlan’s body is what would be the ideal body for a woman in the Regency era. If anything, the adoration Colin has for Penelope’s body is the most historically accurate part of the show.

[@flatinalphabet]

LOL someone is blind. I can't look anywhere else than nicola, her beauty is a whole nother level

[@jellow242]

thanks for talking about this! i read that article the other day and my jaw DROPPED. i really appreciate all your points and love how you've obviously done a lot of self reflection and unlearning what society has taught us on this issue. really well done

[@chrysanthi_]

About the part where you said someone's opinions can change your attraction to them, that can stand for Nicola as well. She is one of the few celebrities, famous actors and singers I have seen to stand so openly pro Palestine and share fundraisers to support people who have relocated again and again and has been wearing a ceasefire pin in many interviews and public appearances. Even if someone does not find them physically attracted to them, just her dedication to the causes she chooses to support even after there have been actors that have lost their jobs for standing with Palestine, it's admiring

[@rubyg1986]

The fact that this series has secured 45 million views proves that this article is garbage.

[@yuri.rs4]

15:19 I agree!! A lot of bigger sized people are often mistreated or just seen as people to just constantly make fun of. It’s almost as if we’re not even human, they often dehumanized us and treat us horribly, either it being verbally or physically. It’s overall extremely tiring.

[@paulan7218]

And sometimes we’re just completely ignored like we aren’t even there

[@AirAnimeAngel]

I won`t be like her and say anything negative but I just saw Zoe Strimpel`s(the author of the article) page and... she CANNOT be serious 😭

[@gabrielleduplessis7388]

Bravo! Said everything I thought after hearing about the damning article. I wanted add that I am glad two women who fit “unconventional” beauty were romantic leads in their movies. Monique and Queen Latifah. Say what you want about Phat Girlz. I believe it was divisive among fans and critics, but that was sone of my first exposures to a plus sized woman gaining confidence in herself and seeing herself as beautiful. With Queen Latifah, even though I only saw her in a few films, I loved that she was confident and already knew she was attractive and did not listen to the haters. She was also a romantic lead in her films and loved that the men loved her characters for her physical beauty as well as her personality. One reason Bollywood movies were popular among women is because of how curvy the women were and it made curvy women or plus sized women feel less alone. But when the movies became “westernized” (as people call it), the women became skinnier and skinnier to be more appealing. It really was a fix what is not broken situation. And I am always learning about cultures who see plus sized as the conventional standard of beauty. It should not be this hard to shift gears and just focus on people as people and not a standard.

[@joanaferreira8615]

It's incredible that so many of us had this experience in such different places around the world. I was born in '88, and knowing how much pressure I felt (much more than more recent generations) and imagining that Nicola might have gone through the same and is now being attacked by these very clearly jealous people, I feel literally sick.

[@ecarpe6887]

This was cathartic for me. Thank you for speaking so thoughtfully and eloquently on this.

[@deen.6635]

I love this video. And I love how you point out the article is written as if it is fact. That was my biggest issue! She says Nicola is “not hot”. It is ok to not be attracted to someone. It is not ok to say they are not attractive! This writer is just a bully and deserves all the ill treatment they have coming their way imo. Even as a teen I would say (when asked), “I am not attracted to them”. I would never say a person is not attractive! I know I can only speak for myself. Even my friends noticed my verbiage at their young age. So I am completely disgusted that a grown adult thinks they have the deciding factor on who is attractive and deserves a leading role in their own life!

[@sophiesmith6864]

Thank you for talking about this. As a fat woman who once had a conventionally attractive guy tell me he likes me but couldn't be with me because "what would people say when they see us together?" This is definitely a widespread deeply rooted societal problem. The problem really isn't whether someone is unattractive or not. The problem really lies in why do people care so much about physical appearance, and I think you did a really good job of summing up those points.

[@immylikesveg519]

This is the first video I’ve seen of yours and from it I became an instant subscriber. Thank you for being so articulate and truthful in this. We need video essays about these topics, and we need the intelligent, brilliant minds like yours propelling these conversations forward.❤