“We're $500,000 in debt. Can I retire early?”

[@ramitsethi]

0:00 Download the Conscious Spending Plan so you can use your money GUILT-FREE: iwt.com/csp-youtube Please remember: These are real people who had the courage to come on my podcast and ask for help. Would you be willing to come on this podcast and share every detail of your financial life? Feel free to leave comments based on what you think, but remember that we are here to help in a supportive way, not to demean and criticize.

[@Mr_NB628]

My dad is not bad with money but they do use a financial advisor that charges them 1% AUM. His argument is that he read that they make more money for you to counteract the one percent and that the advisor does their taxes every year. He also says he knows an advisor that charges 4% AUM so 1% isn’t that bad. What do I do to stop him from using a financial advisor?

[@sumeyyea.5477]

@ramitsethi Hi, Ramit! Thank you for this great episode. I am working on conscious spending plan and have a question about it. I couldn’t make sure how to put mortgage debt. I will consider only principal as a mortgage debt, right.

[@Mr_NB628]

@@sumeyyea.5477 correct me if I’m wrong but I would say that it’s the debt that shows on your bank statement.

[@lysec9672]

Saying "I feel rich" and not knowing you're living above your means is wild but so common.

[@vulpixelful]

This is so easy to do too. Most people associate financial planning with "worrying about money", and they assume once they get to a certain amount (depends on the person), they think they don't have to "worry about money" anymore, so they don't have to plan financially. They probably were _actually_ worrying about money in the past, but they don't quite get that financially planning doesn't have to "worry" you at all if you approach it neutrally, or even positively.

[@Playingwithproxies]

Seems like the less rich you feel the more likely you are to actually be living within your means

[@vulpixelful]

@@Playingwithproxies Nah, I've definitely felt rich while living within my means. It's just that both my feelings and the appropriate lifestyle spending was based on financial facts

[@tgp9496]

Finally a financial guru who isn't afraid to speak the truth on MLMs. Many of my friends over the years have joined MLMs...they haven't worked out for a single one.

[@lowlowseesee]

MLMs remind me of my friends who try to be traders. these friends know that investing is better. but they want to trade and get rich quick so bad. its hilarious and kind of sad. one co worker had an adrenaline dump after five hours of being on his app and reddit during a work shift

[@vulpixelful]

What makes me angry about MLMs is that they exploit the cultural maladies that a community has to target them. For the black community, they use terms like "generational wealth" because we were locked out of the means to build it due to segregation. For military spouses, they prey on the fact that it's hard for them to nurture a traditional career since they can never stay in one place for too long. I've seen MLMs targeted towards Latin America and the Latino community that take a megachurch angle, or exploit the _machismo_ attitude. We are individuals, but we are also a part of marketable demographics that MLMs learn about, then use what they learn against us. Edit: Remember, don't feed the trolls or they'll think they live here 😂

[@ebelen1]

Well said!

[@verb0ze]

They know what they're doing, they wouldn't target people who knew what's up. I tried an MLM in the past (one selling energy drinks) and it's sad how people are committed to them. I'm happy I was lazy and couldn't be bothered to network, and quit literally because I thought it was stupid to try to get ppl to buy something I didn't really care for myself; I spent money buying one case and found it hard to get rid of so I quit. Imagine my surprise when I visited the lady who got me into it for one of the pep talks and saw she had a whole basement filled with boxes 😮

[@foureyeswonder]

they probably do, and everyone has different risk tolerances, but sometimes it's rooted in a sense of desperation to get out of feeling financially inadequate. Also, don't underestimate the power of words. Words tell powerful stories that sell dreams. Dreams are what many people who are in MLMs are holding on to. @@raymiller764

[@Mr_NB628]

The big lie is that generational wealth is hard. It’s really not you just can’t necessarily live a flashy life. Rich people play by the same set of rules. They’ve just been doing it longer.

[@joshdawson5850]

@@raymiller764 The issue is the salespeople in these are very fucking good at manipulating people into buying in.

[@ginafuller1654]

Jalima reminds me of myself in my first marriage. I also married a “finance guy” and handed over the responsibility of our shared finances to him. The poor guy tried to tell me about the budget, but similar to Halima I would just say that I didn’t get it and not ask questions. The thing is, I would never understand if I DIDN’T ask! Sometimes we feel like it’s ok to shut off our brain and put the burden on our partners and that is weaponized incompetence. It’s not fair to them for shouldering the burden and it’s not fair to ourselves to diminish our role as partners. Hopefully, I’ll do better next time and Halima gains confidence and takes a partner role in this relationship.

[@ExploreThe50]

This is a great episode because it is the reality for so many Americans. Fantastic choice of guests.

[@jecht86]

Agreed, I even shared it with my wife, we will be watching it tonight.

[@Capycorg]

I know we see lots of concerning things, but i want to offer a virtual hug to David and Halima for the very difficult things they've been through! David is brave to talk about being a survivor of domestic violence. I wish them both the best in life, and in getting their finances on track ❤

[@TheDoggmom]

I know, her experience with her first husband was simply awful. Horrible! I would have hoped for her to dive into her household’s finances to understand what is going on.

[@185409]

I agree - I like them both. They were honest with each other and you can feel their love for each other. And another thing - Halima is strong AF. Loved her! 🎉

[@candecarro]

In 1999 we wee visiting my parents in Cocoa Beach. My partner and I had ridden our bikes to the tennis court. After tennis someone handed us a promo for a free dinner for 4, we just had to sit thru a 90-min seminar. We bought. We arrived back at my 80-yr-old parents’ beachfront apartment (which they rented) and told them. They didn’t just say, “Maybe that’s not such a good idea.” My mother jumped ALL over us! Then Dad piled on! I was so embarrassed to have made SUCH a bad decision! They made us go back and get the paperwork back and our deposit check. We did! Thank God. BTW, my parents were always good with money and they wanted us to be good, too!

[@lowlowseesee]

whoa lol those are some good parents but would have been even better if they warned yall 15 years earlier lol

[@Carlos-ux7gv]

My father was invited to such a seminar in the 70s. The way he described me is the same way those seminars are conducted today, 50 years later. The formule is still being used because it works.

[@klt9874]

This is a great episode. It took me years to understand the stock market was not gambling but once I researched A LOT then I was able to move forward. I was always taught to save and not spend above my means so I never carried a lot of debt and that helped me I was ready to start investing. Now I invest over 40% of my after tax income.

[@irynaomel7920]

Are there resources that you can recommend?

[@klt9874]

@@irynaomel7920 Yes, I binged Ramit's podcast and read his book. I also found several women on instagram (Delyanne the Money Coach was my favorite). Loved Our Rich Journey which is a couple with kids and they had great content on youtube. Choose FI, ,Bigger Money Pockets, Journey to Launch. I listened to podcasts and read books-The Next Millionaire Next Door and JL Collins's book The Simple Path to Wealth really helped me with understanding investing.

[@klt9874]

@@irynaomel7920 This podcast (and Ramit's book) is one of them. I read the simple path to wealth by JL Collins and decided that I wanted a path that did not include me watching stocks everyday so I liked the 10-20% investing with index funds. There are a lot of "financial experts" out there so be careful and mindful of basic financial practices. Making sure you clear away debt, saving some and investing some. Hope this helps to jumpstart your journey.

[@mlobimkhize5444]

Ramit is literally your resource ​@@irynaomel7920

[@zacharyfair6738]

I love how you always push people "because..., therefore...., etc." People just think they can say whatever and not really have to confront why they believe something. Presumably, because challenging your own beliefs is hard....

[@GraceTheBabbler]

My fave thing he does. It’s so easy for people to say a general comment and then expect it to be left and not examined.

[@szablicka]

Halima and David thank you for your courage and sharing your story.

[@krizak4421]

This literally feels like they are both living in dejavu of their first marriages. Maybe they were part of the original problem, and its not always about their partner being "bad."

[@Capycorg]

Mmm... Their previous spouses were violent or extremely deceitful. I feel sorry for them both.

[@4thand133]

​@@Capycorg Yes but in all fairness we are hearing one side of the story only. Their exes could paint a totally different picture. Truth is probably somewhere in the middle, as it usually is.

[@BCurlyfries]

I do believe that Jalima should learn about finances and not live in the dark still. It is so important to know about finances even the basics

[@Martinalex89]

Great Episode. Throughout the whole episode it did not seem like the couple was getting the message but then once Ramit reviewed the credit card debt everything was uncovered. Yes, they had money in their checking account but they had thousands of dollars in credit card debt. Nice of Ramit to review their finances. These lessons are invaluable. Keep it up. This is great content!

[@dianabinkowski3927]

The first month we were married hubby took envelopes to budget and because he was still in the army we only got paid once a month. We budgeted every month after that. We were married 51 1/2 years when he passed over 4 years ago. I still budget and have automatic savings of $2500 a month. Retired and live very comfortably. Only debt is a mortgage which I try to pay extra every month.

[@notNaB2024]

WAITING FOR SECOND PARTS KILLS ME!!!😅

[@SarahWilson-i3w]

This was painful to watch. David is so wildly out of touch with reality and Halima lives her life using “I don’t understand” as an excuse instead of taking control. She’s putting herself in exactly the same situation as she was in with her ex instead of doing the work to make sure it didn’t happen again. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results…..

[@taneshatowns8055]

I agree... and i literally just said half way through her story.. she's not a victim.. she chose a lot of these decisions to get here.. like she decided to quit her job to placed the responsibility on the first hubby.. me.. girl.. please take some responsibility.. Because I've had to for all pf my own mistakes

[@lindsay3995]

"I financed a house for almost half a million dollars, but it's too small for our furniture and it's going to cost us WAYYYYY more to renovate it enough to be comfortable."

[@rebvanwinkelstein2578]

..the furniture that they ll also need to finance ..on credit card😂🙈

[@KateLaChapelle]

Politely requesting video parts be labeled. Can't tell you how many times I've started the Part 2 video and then had to backtrack.

[@kingsgold]

“DON’T SEND ME MESSAGES, JUST UNSUBSCRIBE” 😂😂

[@AAPAI_24]

Ramit is The Dude. I love his attitude

[@lowlowseesee]

@@AAPAI_24 faccccts. i love him so

[@einstein1102]

Ramit's reaction about when he purchased the timeshare had me dead laughing lol "This f****** year?" 😂😂😂

[@tomfromtartu9706]

Ramit was too easy on him

[@clarissahallowell5436]

I appreciate all the couples that come on and share vulnerable financial details so we can learn. You’re the heroes. 🙏❤️

[@mr.courtney5703]

YOU ARE PAYING FOR THE STAYS! THAT WAS THE 20 GRAND UP FRONT!!!!!!!!! Hilton has just forced you to vacation with them.

[@anchalavasthi4881]

I am astonished at the American culture of buying things today and paying for them in the future. This is truly what keeps people making 6-figure salaries feeling rich by how their checking account hits, but obviously poor because they have nothing to show for it. You can do EVERYTHING today and have a fulfilling life at the cost of a future that is so bleak and sad. Ramit, you are doing a great job of waking up people and spreading awareness. Love watching your content.

[@awb19892]

You don't have to be shocked, it's in your face EVERYWHERE. I bought a $69 flight ticket the other day and I had the option of BNPL for $17/month or whatever. Every single purchase almost, you can do that (which doesn't even include credit cards as BNPL). Even buying a pizza.

[@EwYoureCringe]

They went from homeless and being abandoned with 2 babies to owning their own house and having 80k net worth. How is that nothing to show for it? Smh how judgmental. They are inspiring, you don’t become a millionaire overnight just when you make 6 figures.

[@IrisP989]

There is nothing wrong with purchasing with a credit card and paying it off on time if you are a responsible person. If you know that you have that money. There is no need for me to pay $16K for the floors in my house, for example, with cash in the store or a debit card. Swiped the credit card and paid it off on time since I had the money. Got some cash back.

[@1.5golf98]

People really need to understand that financing is not the same as buying. Not saying all debt is bad, but 95% of it is horrendous.

[@Playingwithproxies]

Modest cars for your income and a home that’s about all you should ever finance. My philosophy is I’ll only start looking to buy a home when all my other debit is 0, but that’s just my own rule.

[@TheFirstRealChewy]

There may be good reasons to have debt, but I can't say that having debt is a good thing. I sure wish our house was paid off.

[@johnjohnston5437]

People say they don’t want to invest because they don’t want to loose it. They spend it and end up with nothing anyway.

[@isaacbarret3454]

Facts!

[@Kelly_Explores]

Exactly! She’s okay not understanding vacations and costs of housing renovations, but isn’t okay investing due to “risks.”

[@sarahosinovsky4025]

True!

[@notNaB2024]

I love that most if not all people that say "doing the math" never really arrive to a logical numerical explanation as to why it makes their decision justified.

[@dquan731]

Sales people are really good. My wife and I attended a cookware presentation once right before we were married and almost bought into their pitch for a set of kitchen cookware that costs over $1K. Luckily we snapped out of our trance and ran away.

[@Yeshanu]

Can't wait until part two. It's easy to pass judgement when you're not in their place, but that never helped anyone, anywhere. Looking forward to you going beyond that and offering real solutions.

[@davidmorrison7323]

So true. Too many people in the comments judging them - they must have skipped his backstory. He seems like a good man to me. He just doesn’t have any kind of healthy role model to show him how all that debt adds up in the background.

[@richardgordon7925]

This is therapy,each episode I’m learning so much.

[@mopycbaby811]

Kudos to David and Halima for putting themselves out there like this. Takes guts to confront all this for all to see. Wish them the best.

[@zacharyfair6738]

So you spend $1000s on a basement rehab so you can buy a $10,000 couch?????? That is some backwards thinking.

[@Wwaywardaf]

THIS. 😮

[@Capycorg]

I know... Feels like they could've afforded a house that didn't require so much fixing up, too.

[@whatdoyoumeantheresnocoffe9141]

A $10,000 dollar couch?! That's insane, just completely insane! The most pretentious, snobbish person in my family .. who prides themselves on their DESIGNER everything life .. would never have spent that much on a couch! Who does this guy think he is .. Jeff Bezos, Bill Gates, Elon Musk .. maybe, Mark Cuban or J.K. Rowling. I'm sorry, I'm stupid with money but I've never been THAT stupid.😳 Run, Halima, you picked another bad one!

[@tigerjonn]

My father told me... How you spend your money is as important as how you make money.

[@ramitsethi]

That is very wise

[@marishaj5532]

He is the problem, she married him and that was the biggest gamble. They just married their ex's in different bodies.

[@Daveyjonesvi]

Yeah that’s what I got from this. She married a very similar man, the only difference is the other man knew what was happening while this man was just cluelessly spending thinking they are good. They have the ability to learn and figure their mess out at least

[@thisisyourfinalwarning]

Ain't that the truth

[@jalmon9478]

😢

[@jessejustsick]

He's definitely part of the problem. However, she can't be bothered to put in effort even when she knows he's suggesting a bad financial decision. They aren't a team at all.

[@denisescally7090]

But how do people like this have such huge incomes? They can’t do maths, plan ahead…

[@jdp486]

I would've thought this was obvious, but I guess not: A discount on something you can't afford is still something you can't afford.

[@ebelen1]

I believe this started with “can I retire early?” It sure went off the rails fast. I feel for those that aren’t grounded in reality. Hard for me to relate.

[@Dan16673]

They cant retire at all

[@Dan16673]

If not projecting to be a millionaire by end of 30s then you are in trouble

[@barose1]

I'm currently at @29:43 and the term, “trauma bond” keeps popping in my head.

[@arielle_online]

This lady is a little frustrating. How can she be mad at her partner for not "explaining investment well enough". Definitions of a 401k or roth ira account are a google search away. Do your own research and understand it yourself then you won't HAVE to "trust" anyone else blindly with your finances.

[@JF-vw9lv]

Weaponized incompetence on her part

[@mjojco]

She doesn't truly want to understand.

[@klt9874]

I agree.

[@joesoccerfan4628]

"weaponized incompetence" is a brilliant term. Thank you. @@JF-vw9lv

[@silverfresh]

She will learn now.

[@jenlollygag6815]

Going from an irresponsible husband to an MLM man seems wild to me

[@Despeintrobl]

Yeah it’s obviously the same pattern. I hope she realizes at some point 😢

[@krizak4421]

She also found both men in similar cultural groups that emphasize certain gender dynamics.

[@ebelen1]

So sad! When I heard the challenges of each person and the relative short time between then and meeting each other, I shocked as to how fast these two met and married. As someone that has been divorced, the last thing I wanted was to remarry right away.

[@TonyCox1351]

Can’t believe this dude spent 3 grand on a security system. I got my whole house wired to my Ring for $300

[@verb0ze]

I don't think she saw it. I am willing to bet that after this talk, they're going to have a serious convo and she's going to want to be more involved, especially when Ramit called out they are spending more than they bring in every month.

[@ivan-681]

This is the pitfall of making “good” money. They think they can afford everything when they are actually extremely behind for a couple their age.

[@hockysa]

They’re not behind for a couple their age but they’re sacrificing their future without realising.

[@ivan-681]

@hockysa 11k in retirement for a couple in their mid 30's is drastically behind

[@Trix897]

@@ivan-681but they can still pull it through. I started investing for retirement at 44 (I have a medical condition that wasn’t diagnosed until then that impacted my financial stability), am putting in about 22% of my income, plus 5.25% from my employer (going up to 8% in another year and a half), and I will have enough to retire at 70. As it turns out, I live on about 45% of my post-tax pay. I bought a condo that was a bit of a fixer upper, which keeps my housing costs low, I save and invest money outside of my retirement accounts, have an emergency fund and save money for the fun stuff like fan conventions and travel. Everyone’s situation is different, and I don’t pay attention to whether people are “ahead” or “behind.” You shouldn’t either, honestly, because being judgmental of others about money doesn’t do anyone any favors.

[@aNihilisticMystic]

I wish Ramit would do these net worths with and without real estate. Houses can skew net worth so much. So on paper having a $500k house and $350k mortgage is $150k of worth. But in reality, the costs of selling that house would include realtor fees, closing costs, etc not to mention down payment and cost on a new house. I want to know net worth without the ghost equity of a residence.

[@ramitsethi]

That's the beauty of using the Conscious Spending Plan and seeing it on screen. If you want to recalculate something on your own, you can. But I intentionally keep the numbers simple so everyone can understand it. There's no need to get into edge cases when talking about the big picture. Thanks for watching.

[@ze_ep]

@@ramitsethi For shits and giggles, we could also "reduce" the mortgage debt by whatever the imputed rent would buy. Everyone pays rent whether real or imputed. Buyers pay extra, including fees and maintenance, for the privilege of ownership - that's the effective debt component.

[@ramitsethi]

Yes, that is technically correct...but for these purposes unnecessarily complex. The magic in helping people with their money is knowing WHAT to include as well as what NOT to include. Others may disagree!

[@awb19892]

The missing comment (maybe it's coming in part 2) was them being underwater on their house (by $5k). Not sure if that included any of the renos. But it's not like someone who can pull out a bunch of equity as an emergency move.

[@gr86er]

What if they don't sell through a realtor? what if they rent it out? what if they rent after selling? Too many what ifs to not include an actual asset with an attached value.

[@StorytellingHeadshots]

“I ask him to explain it and I get mad because HE doesn’t explain it good enough.” Chica, it’s your job and your responsibility to learn about it on your own. Get a library card, girl. Not his job to ‘splain it to you.

[@Trix897]

Agreed. It’s imperative that everyone gets educated on their own and learns this stuff. This is why personal finance should be taught in high schools and be a graduation requirement.

[@lancethomas2331]

This is my first episode. Really easy to be judgy to these guys, but this totally falls under the "there but for the grace of God, go I" category. I really hope they get it figured out and can life their rich life.

[@earningyourearswithkristin878]

@ramitsethi could you and your team please optimize the YT titles? Please add an episode number and an indication of its episode 1 or 2. YT never shows me the part 2 of the episode automatically. It’s really frustrating. Thank you :)

[@whitneyw.7919]

I’m sure this was a frustrating call for you because I don’t know how anyone can be like this, but they clearly were not understanding how serious it is. Also, I’ve noticed a theme a lot of cultures I would guess purposefully historically give people and women ideas that really screw them over financially, being a “good wife” is not trusting your husband to do everything and never looking at bank accounts, it’s also not being a housewife and never making money . That will also often put you in a horrible place when there’s a divorce. A lot of people think they’re getting alimony and in the vast majority of cases not much at all is given or required.

[@amendezmuniz]

I’m obsessed with the YT version because I can see all the body language! 😅

[@Fernball21]

1:02:44 Did anyone else notice their mortgage and car loans are each larger than the value of the house and the cars??

[@ekevanderzee9538]

Well, naturally. They borrowed to renovatie and bought new cars that depreciatie faster than the loooong terms of the loans.

[@WhaazGoooD]

Ramit we need part 2! Edit: Nvm I found it😅 sorry I’m new to podcasting 😂. I love your content! Thank you!

[@glibaudio]

These are sweet folks, I hope they stick on the path of self learning and discipline. They have good family values, with sharp financial management they’ll build a legacy

[@lydiapatelll]

I loved this episode and the other couple with the guy who’s also a believer. Such fascinating psychology.

[@Joce123]

Truly a contribution to your viewers!

[@Sweetfitglam]

She’s still living a fairytale life, pretending as if she’s a child but she’s a grown adult, no matter if you’re a wife/stay at home life you should be responsible for yourself, educating yourself to be able to understand value and assets

[@whenifeellow]

this one is powerful Ramit. I really feel for them and hope yoou helped them turn things around. Great work you're doing, man.

[@kennethnortey5506]

Woooow Can't wait for part two 😢😢

[@joshdawson5850]

I love these 2. Both been through a lot, and I think they’re going to make it. I really hope Ramit can offer them just a bit more coaching though. Or maybe another call in 6 months just to check they’re still on track.

[@bethan.gruffydd]

I can so related to how Halima says she gets angry about financial stuff. That was definitely me in the past--feeling so angry and afraid because I knew investing was important but I didn't know how to even start to understand it.

[@trackee2024]

Those lovesac couches are great for a big family tho! We saved up for 8 years - I wanted one so badly for our movie loft! It feels so sweet when you set a goal and achieve it. I would never go 10k into debt with their situation tho. That’s wild! We had zero car and credit card debt when we bought ours.

[@tristanrodenhauser5267]

They make great money but need to start aggressively saving for retirement in a 401k, Roth, HSA. The $2,000 in debt payment needs to be their first saving goal per month after it’s paid off. She is seeing the excel but seems confused that they are spending more than they make.

[@mamalovesthebeach437]

“I didn’t understand it” is not a reason. It’s an excuse. When you reflect back at the end of your life and look at all the “excuses” that you made through life, it will culminate into regret. The savings account for the kids could pay off a good chunk of credit card debt. Your kids will be far better off if mom and dad have no debt. Connecting through a “victim mindset” is a true path to self-destruction.

[@license2Bort]

True. Realistically most people who say this DO understand it (it isn't complicated to allocate money for different things as a % of total income) but probably don't think it's important.

[@maameyaansiah3154]

You picked it 👏👏👏 eight figures . That’s how the mlm gets people. As a cpa it boils my blood seeing people paying tens of thousands for some Coach promising multiple figures. I hope ppl watching your content will wake up. Thank you for your time

[@jip230]

This couple seems like they're living in Groundhog Day. They're repeating the same patterns that they were taught from an early age with essentially the same spouse with similar habits that they just divorced! It's the same spouse in a different body and it's moving toward the same outcomes. I hope that these two can change, but it seems like a long shot

[@camilleaudain6695]

As I watch this episode, I am astonished that Halima - who was left in a terrible situation by her first husband due to ignoring the household finances - still doesn't want to learn about household finances. It seems to me like she's repeating the same situation of being utterly dependent on her husband to make all the "right decisions" with their money. Why would she willingly go into that level of dependency again? As for David, I think his perspective about money is delusional. I didn't hear him express a single, rational plan for his money and his life's goals. I hope they get their act together because they still have time to build a comfortable financial future for themselves.

[@conceptualresidue]

Halima actively strives to be ignorant. “Not understanding”, being constantly confused and “delegating” financial management to incompetent partners, now twice, demonstrates that she feels this isn’t her burden to deal with because she’s the woman. Most catastrophic financial decision a woman can make, even with a partner who knows what he’s doing, which is obviously not the case here.

[@RosanaR2011]

👏

[@janetmacdonald2823]

Thank you Ramit -- facing 100% of the facts laid bare, cleaned of illusions, habits of mind, this works. Money feels more a vital part of life, like blood flowing where it's needed. To see waste, that timeshare is like seeing someone cut and losing. Now I FEEL it, going to cut three online subscriptions & pay off a 24% $1,200 credit card debt in '24.

[@delynd2663]

You can! Yesterday that goal might have seemed impossible, but when you get that credit card debt done -- I hope you realize that it is a stepping stone to you doing other "impossible" things. Such a great goal! Wishing you the best with this goal and the many amazing ones in your future.

[@rebecasilvadosreis1347]

If a company spends a minute explaining to you why they are not a pyramid scheme, that´s because they are. Hope this couple can handle the situation well and live the beautiful life they deserve.

[@Wwaywardaf]

I dearly hope she gets her own therapy with a therapist familiar with the cultural influence. She has not yet realized her idea of “trusting her husband” has screwed her multiple times.

[@milenao4455]

We need more videos Ramit !! 😀

[@Th3Think3r]

The elephant in the room at the end, which I'm guessing will be stated in the next video, is that Halima is repeating with David one of the biggest mistakes of her first marriage. She's been in the dark financially, trusting her partner, while he's been leading their finances into a ditch. They both need to change their behavior before it's too late.

[@Dan16673]

Divorce is highly probable

[@ohasumirawr]

She needs to learn about finances on her own. The internet has so many free resources that the excuse “I don’t know anything about it” is the weakest excuse one can possibly conjure on this planet.

[@xjayLoveessYouuxD]

I attended the hilton presentation this year too, they entice you with a 4 night stay for $100-ish dollars on the condition that you attend the presentation. Thankfully my husband and I agreed to not purchase before meeting with the salesman, but these people were super convincing! It also seemed like they targeted young families with children. It can be difficult to say no but the reality is that you do not owe them anything, and if you have to “rent points” as well as pay a yearly maintenance fee, are you really satisfied with that purchase? I feel for this couple, I hope that going forward they can be more understanding of their finances and future spending

[@joellejoelle6559]

Doesn’t sound like the ex was financially infidel, it sounds like he was financially uneducated and was trying to please her, just like the current husband. She’s the one who wanted a bigger house and decided to be a stay at home mom, but as soon as she learned that the husband didn’t know what he was doing with money, she run for a divorce. Her being with the current husband indicates that she’s the bigger problem and she attracts what she is.

[@LeesaLilHop]

Im 100% confident that not telling your spouse that you lost the house to foreclosure and let them run around for weeks looking for a new house they will never buy is financial infidelity. But she definitely also carries some blame for being so blind to their own situation

[@aprilstiek7430]

Great episode! Can’t wait to see next week.

[@avivalavida403]

So many women give their power away by outsourcing their financial responsibility to their man. “I don’t understand” makes sense for your young 20s, but not in your 30’s with 2 kids.

[@ohasumirawr]

Preach! And EVEN with households and cultures that have the women as housewives, in this century MANY of them have already evolved to have the women very in-tuned with the family’s finances. Culture and being a housewife and “that’s how I was raised” should not be a crutch for a 30-yr old with kids IN THIS CENTURY.

[@TheAkumaChan]

Nah, it is never acceptable. You should never be in a situation where you react to such an important thing in life with "Eh, I don't understand, whatever." This is why people get stuck in student loans, they are signing their future away at 17 or 18 with no knowledge of it.

[@legacymindset23]

It’s difficult to take on such a task of running the income and expenses of a home if the other person can’t handle numbers. Both of them should come together to budget and make decisions instead of just one person. It’s overwhelming even for a person who thinks they can handle it.

[@emd4079]

They make $190k a year and only have $11k in investments between the two of them…yikes

[@excitedaboutlearning1639]

American house sizes are out of this world "1200 sqft was really small". It's about 111 square meters. I've lived my life in 60 square meter, ~74 square meters and 128 square meters. I'd say the average in my country for a family of three or four is about 750 sqft/70 square meters. I haven't looked up the official statistics, but I'd imagine that to be the case. Apartment buildings are also very common and new construction is taking place all the time. So, houses and apartments are not getting totally out of reach, but they're certainly getting more expensive on average. MY POINT IS NOT DEMONIZE ANYBODY. My point is to point out one of the structural reasons why houses are so expensive in America - they're so large. A larger house tends to cost more, and single family neighborhoods are very inefficient when it comes to homes per land taken up. So, no wonder the price is getting out of hand.

[@gKaasboer]

are you also an european?

[@gabriela7706]

Same here;)

[@excitedaboutlearning1639]

@@gKaasboer Yes, I am Northern Europe, and live in a Northern European country.

[@vivathecat7052]

750 Sq ft for a family of four is wild. My husband and I downsized to 2800 Sq ft after our kids moved out and we are still adjusting.

[@excitedaboutlearning1639]

@@vivathecat7052 It's simply what you've gotten used to and people around you live in. When the norm is 753 sqft = 70 m², you think that anything above that is large. A garage is not included in apartments so that shaves off a lot of sqft off the size. When my family lived in a 128 square-meter apartment, we had two floors, four bedrooms, two bathrooms, a laundry/storage room, our own terrace and a small balcony. It was a huge house, and we didn't feel like we needed anything larger than that. When me and my sibling moved out, my parents felt that the house was too big and they downsized to a 57 square meter apartment (613 sqft). It's a bit small even for their liking, but it's mostly fine. It's a rental apartment. So, they don't want to renovate it but if there were two closets more and half of the kitchen wall were brought down, the apartment would be perfect to their liking.

[@mariam2402]

Timeshares! I get the popcorn out whenever they are mentioned. If they were such a good deal, the hotel chains would not be sending out “vacation club” offer emails on the regular the way that they do.

[@Jai_BestLife]

This is a very heavy episode for a number of reasons. I'll save further comments for Part 2, because if l speak....😐

[@charlotteplante5402]

Add a Part 1 or 2 on the end of your titles.

[@Joce123]

I suspect that I might be a to : not be a dreamer ..Currently so frugal to get out saying "yes "to a $20,000 savings on a late model vehicle..but the insurance increase, unexpected loss of rent income & spouse died who didnt qualify for life insurance..dire consequence. I can relate.

[@Nb61777]

Bring part 2!

[@Fe26man]

I told a coworker that I was interested in starting to invest, and was told: “that’s risky gambling.” I’m glad I didn’t listen! As a newbie, I’m up 16% since last year! It went down at first, and it was so tempting to just cash out, fearing I would lose it all. I’m glad I didn’t!

[@stephanielevonne]

A lovesac will hold up, but spending 1/8th of your NW on a couch is quite scary

[@nanymota1]

How can I find part 2?

[@funginimp]

I wish it was common knowledge you shouldn't hold a balance on a credit card. Being charged interest has been way too normalized.

[@ZekeValk]

Halima seems like a smart woman with low self efficacy. I hope someday she realizes she's capable of understanding this stuff and becomes more competent in this area.

[@johntarzen2228]

I love your show...

[@deltafox1]

My net worth is $80K too, but I have no debt or a mortgage. Will try to cross $150K in 2024.

[@sumeyyea.5477]

Hi, Ramit! Thank you for this great episode. I am working on conscious spending plan and have a question about it. I couldn’t make sure how to put mortgage debt. I will consider only principal as a mortgage debt, right.

[@CherylWickham]

Look at your payoff amount. All finances are just a snapshot in time. Your snapshot for debt is what it would take to pay it off at the moment you do the report. (Though you ultimately will pay more if you wait.)

[@mmp495]

Loved this episode. ❤

[@tiffanyhunter6035]

Heyyy, Ramit is from Sac?! Me tooooo 🙂

[@mottyd]

It's crazy to think you can be earning 100k, 200k combined and be on the edge of financial ruin, no retirement etc. However! They still have time, and those salaries are still good, they can turn it around but they need to shake themselves to the core. CLEAR that credit card debt and stop getting MORE.

[@combatkid999]

Thank you very much for this. Really opened my eyes and I am actioning your steps as we speak. One thing I am curious about is you say Whole of life insurance is bad? Why is this please?

[@LeesaLilHop]

Because term life insurance is all most people need. Whole life is for rich people trying to avoid taxes when they pass down an inheritance. Whole life plans come with alot of upfront costs and has little returns especially after accounting for fees. Not a good move for an average person. But a salesman will tell you different.

[@kellymurillo7188]

I found this to be a difficult listen. The mental gymnastics by the husband is wild and concerning. Finishing your basement just to get a couch is so backwards, I struggle to grasp his reasoning.

[@Jane5720]

OK if she says she doesn’t understand it’s one more time, one more time😅 She better learn because he’s not doing a very good job. I don’t understand how she doesn’t understand. I mean this is the math. This is the math you can’t spend more than you take in, it’s not that complicated. She’s not being a partner here she’s just sitting in the backseat

[@azendussame39]

There’s a common denominator of BOTH relationships - that’s her - thee wife. Her first failure was because they didn’t BOTH take accountability of their financial. Though SHE decided she wanted to be a full time housewife, could her family actually financially do this? She just divorced and ran away. Dumped the debt on the ex-husband. And she didn’t learn. Now with her second relationship- maybe a different partner but the outcome is still similar. Financial hardship. And on both relationships the killer was this wanting to upgrading her HOUSE - or buying this house - what is your financial means? She’s living a delusion and expects the husbands to financially handle it all. Life maybe different - but no matter HOW time changes, there are foundational insights that consistent. There’s just so much financial red flag with both of these guys. A $10k - love sack - really?!? Though they make a good income, their expenditure is still way above their rich life goals. You are so on…always enjoyable to watch your videos…

[@dinyahome]

Damn Ramit you are always so honest about people' s insanity😢❤❤❤

[@alexisballard1459]

I now have a tendency to spot in my tv shows what Ramit calls “believers” 😅 it’s such an easy way to understand how and why someone approaches situations in the way that they do

[@sonya8453]

I wish you’d do a podcast on single women with little savings with about 5-8 years left to work….

[@Capycorg]

He doesn't do singles, unfortunately!!

[@Trix897]

There’s still couples stories that cover this that you can learn from. Do you track your expenses? How far below your means do you live? What percentage of money do you save and invest, including workplace retirement accounts and the employer match? I got a late start to my retirement savings (started at 44, now almost 53), but am only living on 45% of my post-tax income, because I’m saving the other 55% in various investment and savings vehicles. This includes an emergency fund, a “wants” fund and an account exclusively for investing outside of retirement. I’ll be able to retire comfortably at 70 because of this process.

[@mjojco]

I'm of the opinion this guy just realized that credit cards aren't free money.

[@goldengirlgains]

great episode

[@blahsesplee9346]

You can truly see Ramit has not met many people in these situations that came from nothing. I know Ramit’s intention was not to be tone deaf when he acted so shocked at his upbringing, which is small compared to some people, but it was kind of shocking that he was sincerely shocked.

[@thisisyourfinalwarning]

I'm one of 4 kids from an immigrant family (like Ramit) and I was just as shocked as Ramit the husband's upbringing. I felt for Ramit because I felt the same way 😔