Weapons Inspection | Best of r/HFY | 2013 | Humans are Space Orcs | Deathworlders are OP

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{TimeStamps}
00:00 Intro
00:06 Weapons Inspection
#ScienceFiction #Storytime #SciFi
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Podcast is Called : ASN Humans Are Space Orcs , HFY and other stories
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This Story is Classified as HFY or Humanity Feck, Yea , but what does the Mean?
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HFY is a story/series that takes a “human element” in either humanity or an “other” (race/species or object) that exists in a “setting” (future or other world/universe) with varying levels of culture, technology, society and history that help show in some shape or form the potential good or bad for humanity’s race/culture. In These stories Humans are often referred to as Human, Humanity, Deathworlder, Hellwolder in reference to the human planet of origin , Earth. This planet is seen by most of the universe as a place where only death and chaos can survive.
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Taken from the FAQ of the r/HFY subreddit.
Humans Are Space Orcs (HASO) or Humans Are (Fantasy Race) Are used as a guide when writing.
In these Stories we normally View humans like the other races view orcs in a Fantasy Novel. We (Humans) share the same characteristics and personalities as orcs. Humans are normally treated as the outsiders and barbarians. Humans tend to be underestimated as well in these stories. Unlike Humanity Feck Yea , these don't always put a positive spin on humans\humanity sometimes looking at the darker side of human and humanity from the perspective of aliens.
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[@jlinkpro]

God forbid he find out that the armed forces are more than likely entirely volunteer and then have a war economy and draft explained to him.

[@westcoaststacker569]

Yes at 13:30 he states it is Volunteer and does not include surplus armaments'.

[@SergeyWaytov]

And I think I've seen it somewhere already at the point of this video being recommended by YT, such a good Story

[@colinsmith1495]

And that firearms practice and wargames are a common past time among the civilians. They're a disorganized mess when first drafted, but they already understand things like leading a moving target, concentrating fire, suppressing fire, pincer maneuvers, the importance of supplies, and so on.

[@astaven9439]

"Behold, new friend, our cool toys!" Aliens: "We submit!"

[@Akorune]

Definition of what Hitler tried to do with his wonder weapons.

[@raptorep]

@@Akorune Hitler was an idiot with a cult following, what made the Germans formidable was the Generals and field commanders, but when the SS started to enforce ideology and kill off the decenters and Hitler took more charge in the war, Germany started losing badly.

[@Akorune]

@@raptorep Dude, clearly you know nothing about mental health. Also r/woosh

[@wrathshorts2894]

Humans: Allow us to introduce you to the subject of dakka and out eternal quest to have enough of it.

[@renaissancepress247]

Perfect. Never enough Dakka!

[@TheJasonBorn]

Well thanks, new term for me too.

[@teachme5334]

Spoiler alert, we won't have enough dakka

[@wrathshorts2894]

@@teachme5334 The search for enough dakka is never ending.

[@Maddog3060]

"And what is that music that's playing in the background?" "An old martial song from our pre-spaceflight days; The Imperial March."

[@Amoth_oth_ras_shash]

hmm... this feels like when a AI empire with poor espionage has its first envoy allowed past your borders in stellaris... and finds out every system you have , there is a planet dedicated to nothing but military complexes and a ring construct around it dedicated to fleet support ^^

[@ledocteur7701]

and every single starbase is a maxed out cytadel.

[@Sniper-rr2zx]

With stuff so far in the tech tree that you think it is god’s stockpile until someone explains it to you.

[@Amoth_oth_ras_shash]

@@ledocteur7701 with siege class weaponry on its core hull to compliment its ftl inhibitor generator behind a swarm of weapon plattforms , so no snipping it and any front assault will be a slaughter aye ;)

[@Amoth_oth_ras_shash]

@@Sniper-rr2zx bullets and keyboards is for fun and practise!... true total war ammo is shells with singularities! and interfaces where operators and machines merges so even if you kill the driver the mech is going to keep stomping you! as the onboard AI now is pissed its friend where emergency downloaded before its natural body life span expired ;)

[@kyriss12]

An ai empire with poor espionage skills? Please tell me they were outwitted by cartwheels, cardboard boxes, and the terrifying walk of the fir tree.

[@damiennightmaresx7950]

i completely forgot he was only looking at ground vehicles not the heckin spaceships oh dear god-

[@davidhenderson3400]

"Oh this is just what we have on Mars, wait until you see what we have on Earth"

[@kennethmana3103]

The Gundams are on earth right

[@britishneko3906]

Yamato and Iowa chatting: hey Yama do you think we will get into an alliance with those guys? Yamato: pfft idk... I just sit here as a hotel... like my ancestors... Iowa: better than being in repair 24/7 Warspite: well now we are a royal united navy.... Iowa: hm? why? Warspite: seems they sees us as more powerful and now they wanna be our vassals... and some alien ambassador is apparently making you his goddess Yamato: eh a normal Tuesday

[@mychaeldark1007]

@@britishneko3906 ROFLMAO, you know as a player of the game Azur Lane, I can actually easily imagine this conversation, just with the firls having super advanced sci-fi riggings.

[@britishneko3906]

@mychaeldark1007 well I play AL and I watch KC so... yeah... I also watch Arp

[@FutureMan420Blazer]

@@britishneko3906 what is KC and Arp?

[@peterwalls-qf7ii]

Impressive ! I hope their medical divisions are as good,because the ambassador is having a stroke .

[@Seth-Halo]

Well the guy got that one award when he was 140 years old. And he was so young back then. So I'm sure their medical division will suffice for the poor ambassadors heart attack stroke when they sees the navy

[@101luftwaffe5]

The navy part was a great cliffhanger

[@brokeandtired]

Funny its was just 1 of 2000 divisions and ended on "Wait until you see the Navy".

[@britishneko3906]

the IJN had an impressive gun on water back in the day... and nowadays it still would hurt imagine the future of huge slugs going 0.9c

[@chrislaf89]

Figure each division has a troop carrier dedicated to it, or two... Then each troop carrier would have its own escort, probably 5 ships of cruiser and lighter Then we get into the big bois, the carriers and battleships. For safety sake, probably 10 per battle area, and assume 20 active battle areas at once. We'll need coverage at all times, so we need extras to rotate through for deployment cycles, so that brings us to 30-50 per battle area. Each of those capitals will need their own escort fleet, in the range of probably 20-30 ships of cruiser and 40-50 frigates and destroyers combined. Maybe a few hunter packs of battle cruisers, so 5-8 of those per pack, with complementing 20 cruisers and below. Probably a half dozen per battle area? And then we get to the support ship fleet!

[@seldonwright4345]

@@chrislaf89 submarines What ya don't see can Hurt ya!

[@chrislaf89]

@@seldonwright4345 This is space navy though…

[@osmacar5331]

@@chrislaf89 electro optical camouflage and warping camo skins.

[@ratzelbarreto2070]

The general forget to show the xenos, the army's imperial titans and ground gundams.

[@yomogami4561]

don't forget the bolo division

[@seldonwright4345]

@@yomogami4561 absolutely don't forget the bolos. Snub a self aware self propelled Tank? Shudder

[@yomogami4561]

@@seldonwright4345 could hurt their feelings

[@wrathshorts2894]

Also the Special Forces units and don't forget to mention the individual soldiers of exceptional prowess. Such as John 117, Spartan Special Forces soldier who earned hyper lethal vector status by obtaining at least 100k confirmed enemy kills. (and probably at least twice that many unconfirmed.) Also the highly classified exploits of a soldier know only in whispers as "The Slayer". Whos file reads like a barcode and is sometimes referred to as "DOOM God."

[@VTX00128]

​@@wrathshorts2894 I doubt the governor would be allowed to talk him about the special units that would be under the Office of Naval Intelligence.

[@kiritotheabridgedgod4178]

Ah yes, yet again, humanity has a greater capacity for war and industry than the rest of the universe.

[@angrydragonslayer]

combined

[@killjoy4009]

It's just what we do.

[@zacharyhawley1693]

In a scary universe the only safety net is that capacity where one can be bested in every other category. Thus war industry is safety itself.

[@kiritotheabridgedgod4178]

@@zacharyhawley1693 given how it's been described, we have one solar system in that story, and don't even have a partial Dyson swarm, whereas others have multiple solar systems. No matter how efficient your military industrial complex, resources are the limiting factor.

[@zacharyhawley1693]

@@kiritotheabridgedgod4178 Thus these humans rightly put the lion's share of their resources into the war industry because they needed teeth but to also make everyone else realize we had them.

[@GyorBox]

Lmao He didn't catch the "volunteer" part. Like someone said, wait until "war economy" and "war footing" are explained..

[@Iskelderon]

The ambassador found out that "overkill" is an art form to us! 🤣🤣🤣

[@brendamayfuller8803]

"There is no such thing as overkill. Just 'open fire' and 'I need to reload.' "

[@williamh6892]

Overkill is underrated. There is ALWAYS more room for more dakka

[@grey9803]

So unlike the two sociopath's above me 🤣🤣🤣 In war it's either you kill them or they kill you, over the years we've learned to make bigger weapons to kill more of them before they kill more of us

[@williamh6892]

@@grey9803 go look up veitnam Era pt boats. When the sailors got them they found them to be woefully undergunned, so they tactilely acquired more and bigger guns to put on the boats. That doesn't even touch the guntrucks. More dakka, more better, save more lives

[@osmacar5331]

overkill? for me that's a forward division! then again, i take grossly overkill to a whole new level.

[@michealthekaminoshinagami54]

Oh, Ambassador for the king, you're just about the correct height for me to punt you.

[@markfergerson2145]

"Say, that variable caliber cannon over there should be able to fit you. Fancy a ride?

[@ZoruaZorroark]

it's like seeing a super carrier in eve online, and said super carrier also has a doomsday weapon, and 40 turrets from xl down to s size, and can launch 40 of each type of bomber, fighter, and drone at the same time, oh, did i mention the torpedo tubes and missile launchers

[@melkiorwiseman5234]

This type of story is amusing but the idea is hardly new. Asimov had one of his "robot" stories where three robots go to make contact with Jovians (this was before it had been confirmed that Jupiter has no solid surface and is actually just a collection of gasses and dust). The Jovians are war-like and xenophobic and are developing rockets which will enable them to invade the rest of the Solar System and wipe out all humans. The robots inadvertently display how they are not only invulnerable to everything the Jovians throw at them, but also vastly superior to the Jovians, all while maintaining an air of casual good-will (after all, they're huge machines and their unfailing good humour was essential to the safety of the scientists who had to test them on Earth). After all this, the robots are about to leave and convey the Jovian's message to the humans on Earth: "War to the last" Then their guide asks them to wait and hurries away. When he returns, he bows down to them and promises that the Jovians will never, never leave their planet and hopes that the humans will leave them alone. After the robots have taken off in their spaceship, they wonder why the Jovians had such a sudden change in heart, until the third of the three (and therefore the one with the most developed artificial brain) realises why the Jovians gave up without a fight. They never told the Jovians that they were only robots and not humans.

[@grafeugenius]

Comically missing the point

[@snoodude]

If I'm recalling correctly, one of the first lines in that story mentioned how their spacecraft had been shot up (or otherwise depressurized), but that it didn't matter, because they didn't need to breathe. Thus, we the readers are in on the joke, but not the aliens in the story.

[@melkiorwiseman5234]

@@snoodude Similar. It opens with something to the effect of "the spaceship leaked, as the saying goes, like a sieve" and then goes on to explain that this didn't matter since the crew was robotic and didn't need an atmosphere, and so no attempt had been made to seal it in the first place. It was a large plot point that only a force-field would have been strong enough to hold out (or in) the Jovian atmosphere since the pressure would have collapsed any physical hull which could be manufactured, if it had been sealed to keep in (or out) an atmosphere. Part of why the robots were there was to check if the Jovians had yet developed force shields strong enough to contain their atmosphere so that they could build spaceships and leave their planet. (Again, this was written before it had been confirmed that Jupiter is nothing but gas with no solid surface).

[@bencoad8492]

@@melkiorwiseman5234 well typically Jupiter does have a surface, just need to go down far enough and the gases turn to liquid or even solid due to the pressure.

[@barelyasurvivor1257]

I remember that great story

[@sbritton1313]

Wait till they find out the weapons that go brrr...

[@DonPatrono]

"Oh those are just the regular army, wait till you see the Private Military Contractors fielded by the Weyland-Militech Consortium. Fully cyberenhanced, not even the Warnauts have that level of implants. They should have around 100.000 of them laying around"

[@chrisweiss6363]

"Wait till you see the navy" as neb sharts himself

[@ArchonSG1]

Silly Ambassador, that is just the standing army. Woe be unto you, if for whatever reason, we humans go on "Total War" footing.

[@leechowning2712]

A good hundred thousand divisions... On peacetime footing... I don't think the humans know of what it would look like in Total War. And they especially couldn't explain it. The only good thing I see is that no one is going to try fighting humans in the near future.

[@mychaeldark1007]

@@leechowning2712 Unfortunatley some regime/government always has more balls than sense.

[@dragon_games1657]

... dont tell the us they have more oil then we do.

[@wngimageanddesign9546]

Brought to you by Omni Consumer Products, Tyrell Corp. Weyland-Yutani Corp. And Tesla-X.

[@mikemoscato2995]

Don't forget massive dynamics from the t.v. show fringe! Edit Tyrrell and weyland are from the sane universe and time frame and knew each other personally 🤯

[@leechowning2712]

General Electrics is finally getting off its ass with the commercial fusion reactors, only a few years behind schedule.

[@detsalb5789]

God imagine the ammount and types of equipment the civilians have

[@ianhogben3472]

son the human race has a dam near fetishist love of battle

[@britishneko3906]

overkill is our art and our art is of war

[@RealArcalian]

Greetings Mentlegent! For the Rhyhtm that is Algo I will give the alien credit for learning better and gaining the appropriate perspective on the matter!

[@mattbrown5511]

I thought it was "mental-gent". My bad.

[@Maeshalanadae]

And the race learns that humans can be the best friends one can have if treated with respect and dignity.

[@dragon_games1657]

its probable somewhere in a war house.... just waiting to be used

[@marlinstrife5352]

Oh my word the navy! hahaha

[@westcoaststacker569]

Have to get to the battle and control the airspace or in this case non airspace.

[@mattbrown5511]

I wonder if the whole of humanity finally embraced the American ideal of the 2ND Amendment. "To keep and bear arms shall not be infringed".

[@ariffetorlase9783]

"Ah, wait ubtil you see the navy." Heh, that's a great line.

[@stevedixon921]

I see you are interested in joining our Empire, we shall see what you have to offer in exchange. We have decided to magnanimously join the Human Empire, long may you reign my new found friends.

[@lazrustosadow5880]

I would love to hear sequel where the Ambassador is back on his world just about to be executed in the courtroom for his blatant lies of the monkeys supposed military superiority and a vid screen gets hacked with the Governor apologizing for taking so long to get the current inventory of the Navy. With each description along with a short clip of said item the whole courtroom getting more and more terrified

[@yomogami4561]

oh please, pretty please describe the navy at some point i love the ambassador's request

[@seldonwright4345]

Air Force next.

[@yomogami4561]

@@seldonwright4345 yep i would like to see a space force built around an air force structure more then naval some time.

[@SiegeTF]

And then there's the Privateers and the DARPA boys. Bunch of nerds, those - always trying to get their stupid Gundams approved as standardized. Just between you and me; letting one or two roam around the battlefield and play hero will always be good enough.

[@themanformerlyknownascomme777]

Certainly an impressive army.

[@merlinathrawes746]

What army? That was the equipment for just ONE DIVISION!

[@stephenstonge7968]

This makes a bit of sense, considering most divisions are very much American.

[@sandrapomerantz5422]

thank you these stories make me smile

[@brianlips8346]

Thanks for the story 🙂🙂

[@adphoenix600]

now i want to see the navy of how much dose the human have

[@dragon_games1657]

human navy numbers? answer: Yes.

[@adphoenix600]

@@dragon_games1657 funny

[@josephhyland8904]

That was great!

[@HibikiKano]

IDK check my math but 2000 x per 30000 troops is q comaprable to the worlds current 2023 militaries combined. If you consider thats a several systems spanning union, thats quite a downsizing of military spending.

[@smrutismarak9503]

But all of their equipment is top class. Not like our current military where sub optimal equipment is used a lot of times because upgrading is expensive.

[@leechowning2712]

Not to mention that space colonization will almost certainly fall to that same band as previous expansion packs, the stubborn loner who doesn't mind risking his neck... who almost universally want guns. Humanity has not shown the intelligence to invest heavily enough to make the expansion peaceful and lawful, so they will have to defend themselves from those who decide to profit off taking what is not theirs.

[@allenmorgan1007]

For the Algorithm, for the Author(s), for the Disembodied Voice!

[@callisto1556]

O God I love this one

[@staplesock5549]

What until he hears about the reflective pt belt

[@osmacar5331]

just to inform 10 inch guns are 255mm calibre and ranging form L60 to L15 means they have a 150inch length up to 600 inches of gun length. and given possible weapon tech involved. "terrain artillery" is an apt understatement. and going by speculation to distance in the future. bye bye mountain.

[@Messywildcat78]

And then the ambassador had a stroke

[@niukal]

nice

[@randomusernameCallin]

Where are the dependents?

[@thachphongvn9770]

Will you make part 2?

[@armycowboy4313]

So they said they based their defense on 10 years of no prep time against the so called boogie man of the galaxy. And 25 years with prep time and thats just mars safe to say we may over prepare for things

[@dragon_games1657]

*nervus looks to Earth* sees an litterly Fortess of a planet. we may or may not have gone to far, nah not enogh

[@armycowboy4313]

@dragon_games1657 Well, when it comes to the defense of the home world, one must make sure that the enemy will destroy themselves in order to claim victory.

[@warriorpope8724]

ahh the navy the backbone of everyone else

[@kennethmana3103]

The Yamato will be the on display on there base

[@mychaeldark1007]

@@kennethmana3103 With the Iowa not too far away in dry dock for repairs. Again.

[@kennethmana3103]

@@mychaeldark1007 the Yamato I'm talking about is from the space battleship Yamato aka star blazers for the USA

[@mychaeldark1007]

@@kennethmana3103 Never knew it by any other name than Space Battleship Yamato. Cool to find out it has another name though.

[@kingdipshiz]

Wait till he finds out about how armed the civilians are

[@gachashadowwolf3038]

Overkill goes the humans 😂

[@alecdeter1999]

Hey so i was playing with those numbers and approximations abd if you include the army have about 20,000 soldiers that adds up to 17 billion under arms now if you do a blatant idea of say 20,000 per those 2500 divisions I estimate they have nearly 60 billion in land forces give or take 5 billion i am leaning on them having 65 though

[@SuperBommer1]

Whahahaha brilliant

[@JestRex]

Is those years time/ by galactic standard, earth standard or mars, Mars time stretches a bit further than earth time.

[@chrisdufresne9359]

Embrace the Dakka, lest we release the Nova-Class Dreadnoughts upon you.

[@klappstock943]

For the Algorithm the story and the voice

[@elfeater1760]

For the Algorithm11!

[@kashkara_8943]

The Algorithm hates all

[@michealthekaminoshinagami54]

Algo for the Algo god

[@samboyd1828]

ah, the human war industrial complex creates another ammosexual

[@jaywulf]

No nukes or antimatter or nanodisassemblers in the futures?

[@artbrann]

we hide those, and the black hole guns, so the anti war peoples don't protest

[@joshuabohn9429]

Idk, they never did get through the whole tour before the aliens brain shut down

[@merlinathrawes746]

Balloon. Pin. Pricked.

[@davidragan9233]

2 Terran Years or 2 Martian Years?

[@cordellpatrick9517]

Most these stories use earth years as standard unless specified otherwise

[@davidragan9233]

@@cordellpatrick9517 True, but they were Literally on/above Mars at the time.

[@cordellpatrick9517]

@@davidragan9233 Yeah and most people use earth because that's what they're used to like even the expanse uses a time system called EST or Earth Standard Time for ease of conveying time and time lengths to the audience and the times they don't the use either Jovian time or Mars Comand time but again they state that

[@davidragan9233]

@@cordellpatrick9517 But that is SoooOOooo boring ;D

[@cordellpatrick9517]

@@davidragan9233 maybe but people don't seem to like when you throw 19 different times sets at them noooooo they just want 1 maybe up to 3 if you're lucky

[@tonyneal910]

😄❤👍🐿

[@merlinwizard1000]

6th, 9 February 2023

[@KroMagnum4]

🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂

[@chronus4421]

Hey what happened to It's Difficult to Pronounce?

[@julesmasseffectmusic]

The Global rescessi9n most likely

[@ObamniumPrism]

3rd

[@craigpeters4145]

Terrible narrative, terrible ending, terrible execution

[@watsonwb726]

Салам, бача бази.