Tony Porter: Disrupting the Power Imbalance | The Man Enough Podcast

[@samgoof]

"I'm reaching for people with interest and investment in humanity." Beautiful stuff. And kudos to Justin for allowing the critique of not having a black woman at the table. I personally I've been trying to deal with the fact that I have stumbled with wanting to be more of an ally. I allowed criticism to overpower my intention to help and support others. Thank you all for the example.

[@WeAreManEnough]

Thank you. It's such a hard challenge to embrace and truly take on. Allyship has to be more than intentions and finding ways to be additive can be really hard. Keep trying, though, as your desire to help is in fact valuable. Glad you're here with us.

[@tristag9822]

New to this podcast. Super powerful. How do we define freedom? ❤❤❤

[@minniecrymes5266]

Originally started watching this channel to help myself give grace and understanding to the perspective of my male partner, who I care enough about. I ensure that I learn how I can understand the ROOT of his struggle through the world, I can hopefully be less of a stress factor for him in life overall. I started binge watching every chance I got, because I'm getting MORE out of this podcast than how to see my partner in a better light! Internalizing the breath of fresh air that I felt listening to this podcast/video. The moment this conversation shifted and transitioned to not only INCLUDE, but also ADVOCATE for me as a proud Black Woman, without the conversation having to be FORCED! It felt like taking off your clothes, and that feeling of "free" right before you hop in the shower. I wish and would love to see, if not even BE the black woman representation on this platform and in this space, that is open to hear, without it becoming heated, or argumentative, or feeling like the words have always fell on deaf ears. I'd love the dynamic. Call me to be a Quadhost (a serious and humble request)! I absolutely love the work being done!

[@comradeg2719]

This man Tony touched my heart. Wise, humble, open, reverent... wish i had meet a man of this caliber when I was a young man... glad to meet him now. Please invite Tony back for many many more transmutations.

[@daniellui7901]

Definitely the BEST podcast I found this year and will keep in touch with. As a 25y/o man, who faced bullying for 3 years as a kid around 9-12 and people called me names, this harmed my emotional expression and made me literally believe that men can't express and share emotions. After watching this podcast and have a long journey in the last few years dealing with anxiety and social anxiety(that I'm sure came out for the trauma I suppressed as a child), I finally can say out loud that I'm not afraid anymore, and I wish to make my circle of men open for deep conversations. I truly appreciate your will of faith in our society and thank you for your work in order to raise the awareness.

[@WeAreManEnough]

Daniel, thank you for sharing your experiences. We need to normalize that, especially amongst men, in order to heal together. We're so sorry to hear about the bullying and we're so glad you're here with us. This is a safe space (well, not sure about KZbin, but Man Enough).

[@GretchenHewitt]

So much experienced in this wonderful episode. 44:11 - 48:11 This conversation was so valuable to me. This was true consultation, with what appeared as differing opinions, and in so many areas of life could have dissolved in a fight, and then mad and no communication. Here, with true respect and love and commitment to the growth, the spark of clarity rang out. Then Mr. Porter followed with this at. 49:12 just a big grateful sigh. This is a double watch. Triple watch.

[@WeAreManEnough]

Thanks, Gretchen. We agree. Tony is a true pioneer and original thought leader in this space.

[@sherryjackson8474]

Nice

[@ronsparkman4913]

Tony is just a never-miss kind of human. Excellent episode. A lot to unpack and dive into. For those that have the time and the resources, I *highly* recommend A Call To Men's "Training Institute for Gender and Racial Justice". Their whole team is incredible, I've got notes that I constantly reference since the training, and they dive deeper into the topics that Tony really only had time to touch on here. It's 4 hours a day for two days, and each day flew by. Just can not recommend it enough.

[@WeAreManEnough]

That's such a good way to describe him - "never-miss kind of human". Couldn't agree more about A Call to Men's trainings. They are best in class and life-changing.

[@pdub707]

Women are often the leaders of the family and I've never heard any woman referring to it as 'providing leadership'. They are just getting it done.

[@thomasthomasphilp4393]

An amazing episode.

[@AntoinetteMPetty]

When Tony asked about Black Women on the podcast my heart stopped. I hadn't even realized it myself. Our/my point of view really isn't considered (unintentionally I'm sure). That was powerful. I really hope y'all do consider a permanent seat on this podcast for a Black Woman. It would be great 👍🏾 👌🏾 💜🦄

[@WeAreManEnough]

It's an incredibly important provocation for all of us. Not sure we will put a new permanent host in place, but we're recording with a wonderful Black woman today, have some others scheduled and will continue to try to lock more in during season 2. Please keep us accountable!

[@AntoinetteMPetty]

@@WeAreManEnough So glad to hear that the Man Enough Podcast team is considering this. I hope it works out. This will make this team effort even better. Wishing you all much love and ✌🏾 💜👍🏾🙏🏾🦄

[@Kirkleberry]

What a beautiful example and expression of vulnerability, humility, active listening & transparency. I really appreciated Liz and Jamey having a healthy argument, and Tony and Justin sitting back and letting them discuss for as long as they did. I think that too often our culture shies away from in-person conflict and confrontation (if this is true, what may be the implications therein regarding personal and professional disagreements?) --so it was nice to see a productive disagreement play out (and for Justin to mediate and show how both sides are correct, respectively). I believe that with leaders like you all demonstrating how conflict is normal and doesn't need to become personal, and can actually be productive and healthy, the free marketplace of ideas will become a more progressive, inclusive, just and truth-seeking place. Life is merely love and the lack thereof. I can relate to Jamey's experience as a mixed Black American with a White mother - thanks for being authentic and sharing a bit about your personal experience, Jamey. The centering of Black women in our culture is essential for the growth and development of all, in our nation. I can't help but wonder, where does the term and concept of "intersectionality" play a role in this conversation? (I have not watched many Man Enough episodes, so I apologize if y'all have already discussed this). 1 Love, peace, prosperity and abundance to all who watched and are reading :) THANK YOU ALL - YOU'RE STARS !

[@thematureneuro468]

See, the thing is that, this video only has 6 thousand views, despite it being uploaded for a year. This means that only 17 men per day on average listen to this message. There is 3.5 billion of us. This work is invaluable. The liberation and empowerment of men, truly, will result in not only a more equal society, but also a better future for the Human race. Redefinition of what it means to be a man is tied to the future of the human kind and our planet. It is the most important work we can do today. I am in the process of starting a blog and a podcast where I wish to widen the reach of these great men, I hope that one day I can have a conversation with you and we can genuinely say to one another, we did well, we gave an alternative to our brothers out there to live a more full and loving life.

[@WeAreManEnough]

Thank you. Glad you're here with us and motivated to help spread the word. A lot more people listen to the podcast than watch, fortunately. We're working on getting more people over here too.

[@patylopyhhh]

I miss the debriefing so much!!! What an amazing conversation!!! Clearly someone was yelling "cut it out", hahahaha!!! Yes to more black and brown people on the show!!!

[@kokinette4]

“You don’t graduate from ally school. You always learn.” - Tony Porter ❤️❤️

[@joannajanik1164]

Awesomeness! I worked with Ted and met Tony years ago (like 1999 ) in NYC's DV Agency. Love what they do and appreciate their work. Keep the conversation going!

[@jurue4621]

Thank you for this episode i needed to hear this today. I just had a fight with my partner yesterday and he truly is a good human being and has done a lot of work already but i'm a very sensitive person and i pointed something out that other people wouldn't probably have noticed and i said "hey thats not cool, that was not sensitive towards me and the situation that i am in". And he deflected and said some mean things that hurt me deeply. And i tried to tell him something in the sense of: "you are good enough but you can be better and when i point some stuff out it should be a gift and an opportunity for you to do even better, not an attack on your being." And he deflected further... and i feel helpless. I am asking myself where i went wrong and what i could have done better to get through to him. It's so frustrating for me...and i'm sure this experience is frustrating for him as well. Anyhow, communication failed this time & i hope we can both come to an agreement on how to handle this better in the future. So hearing y'all talk about it today was heaven sent and reassuring me a lot. I appreciate that. Thank you!

[@WeAreManEnough]

Thank you for sharing with us! That can be difficult situation to address, especially in the moment. We are grateful to be able to support your journey in this work, and thinking of you in your efforts! You are enough!

[@ginoambroise6559]

I am a human right activist man but mostly for the lgbtiq+ people in Haiti, i always defend and stand for women's rights but i was surprised of how i wanted to diss a woman for mistreating my nephew with whom he is in a relationship: thank's God i was able to control myself and think this through then i realized it is a continuous work of showing up and accountability everytime even in thoughts. Thank you Tony Porter and thank you man enough.

[@WeAreManEnough]

Thank you for sharing. We can't control our thoughts or urges, but we can learn to filter them through compassion and accountability. It isn't easy and we celebrate you for doing the work.

[@vanhoudtshoorn]

Wow, another great, informative, beautiful conversation🙏❤. Thank you all. Am learning so much🔥

[@WeAreManEnough]

Thank you! So are we.

[@KateStrongHealer]

What an awesome man Tony is Such a gentle mentor/wise man. I stopped to go and watch his TED talk. I cried when he and Liz were talking about how women love men, partner with men, etc and have to protect themselves from men also. I used to walk through the world like there was a rapist behind every tree. I have two sons, no daughters, and for a woman who was angry at men I had to make my peace inside me to raise my sons to be respectful human beings. How can I hate men for all the damage they could do, and have done, and love my sons.

[@WeAreManEnough]

Thank you for sharing with us Kate, and for all the work you do in spreading your love with all of these insights.

[@KateStrongHealer]

@@WeAreManEnough thank you ❤️

[@marceloantunesrocha9780]

Just a incredible podcast 💜

[@hellentatendakajawu]

THIS IS where i come to saddle down and recoup. what a beautiful safe space you have created Justin. I love u

[@WeAreManEnough]

Thanks for being here, and grateful for the opportunity to share it together.

[@jaeligonzalez]

I love what you guys are doing and I’m a huge fan. I listen every week. But as a Mexican American that was born in this country but still battled the struggle of being a Mexican American in this country…I wanna see more Mexican/Latino representation in your podcast!! You guys had Eugenio Derbez, which was great. But we need more of it, Latinos are known for having the struggles of toxic masculinity, and it would be great to have more of that in the podcast to try to reach out to young Latino boys and men.

[@WeAreManEnough]

Hey Jael, thank you for joining us and sharing your thoughts, it means a lot. Everyone brings a unique perspective to the impacts of these systems, and we look forward to sharing more of these opportunities we have in store with you that we think you'll respond to. We appreciate you!

[@shira6975]

Off topic but is it anyone else’s literal DREAM to meet Justin

[@Sadclown13k]

I’d also like to add that Native American Women also need to be brought up more.! I feel like using WOC is great, AND Black women, Brown women, Native women, etc all have different struggles and deserve the same amount of care and talk time.

[@WeAreManEnough]

An important point. Thank you for pushing us and the world in this way.

[@iyannai09]

He just made the guest’s point! Who cares if you’re the guy in the room who always brings up the point especially regarding Black women? He’s more concerned and worried about what other ppl think than protecting Black women.

[@AyaNichelle-gi9cd]

45:05 yes cause right here he is choosing to speak from an angle of literally performing that’s why it doesn’t find an issue with people performing their protection and care for women.

[@suzettephinn7829]

❤❤❤❤

[@DiamondEyez456]

It’s cortisol that is released in tears, why it’s good to cry. You are “letting out the poison”. I always say, “I’d rather out, than it stay in.”. Cortisol damages your organs. :(

[@diamondgarcia9409]

I think this is the first podcast I've seen where Liz didn't ask for permission to speak once 👏🏼

[@aayaan4779]

I have to note that I find it challenging to stay open to Liz when it seems like she's coming with a more reactive than responsive stance. Liz IMMEDIATELY said "I disagree" to Jamie at 46:40 without taking a single moment to pause and actually absorb what he was saying. It didn't land well with me. Then she gave an example of a dude wearing a "this is what a feminist looks like" t-shirt.. that would be called posturing, not "taking action" i.e. what Jamie was talking about. I'm curious about why she feels a need to offer her judgment of the comment without fully absorbing it first. It seems close minded or not emotionally aware enough of your edges.

[@WeAreManEnough]

Thank you for your feedback! We want to assure you that our hosts have incredible mutual respect for each other while forming these dialogues from their lived experiences, which is what they're both speaking on. We're grateful to create a space for these insights and opinions to be shared in support of each other, and not from a place of judgement which is what we try to model across our episodes. There is always space to learn, and appreciate your considerations and will continue to grow with these thoughts.

[@aayaan4265]

@@WeAreManEnough Thank you for your response! I want to hold space for Liz to feel what she may have felt at that point, and observe that taking a moment to absorb what another person has said, especially when your view diverges, can often be in service to the deep change that your podcast advocates for. Sending love.

[@WeAreManEnough]

@@aayaan4265 We hear you loud and clear. Love to you as well.

[@DarlaReborn]

Looking for a Black woman?? 🙋🏾‍♀️ I got you! 😁 Love y’all!

[@WeAreManEnough]

Thanks for being here!

[@831piper]

The census count is wrong in both ways for people who's origin is south of the border. White or black take away from who we really are, native Americans. Yes there are some afro latinos and also some very white latinos but the vast majority of us are native. Raza choosing white is in part because of anti blackness and indegeniati. It benefits the government that we disassociate from who we really are.

[@WeAreManEnough]

Thank you. We appreciate your insights.

[@Ramanarayan38]

I ain’t ruling anything here.