11 - Wheat & Wheat By-Products

[@frxnkie.mp3]

The farmer's full name is literally John Peters Youknowthefarmer

[@YeetusEliteus]

AHAHAHA

[@laceydean4760]

I would like this but it has 666 like and I can't ruin that.

[@thestreets.aka.joshua]

Are you serious?!

[@GarfieldChunks]

@@laceydean4760 now its 777 lol

[@havelockvetinari3032]

He said that like 20 times. Kind of redundant.

[@valeriebroadhurst2146]

That sad moment when you find out that your stomach is infested with snakes, demons, and wheat and wheat byproducts.

[@cr1ng3_king]

Then you must be infected. You must go to quarantine area just behind the park to live out your days contemplating and weaving.

[@corvid.monarchy4875]

@@cr1ng3_king I combatted my illness by simply removing my stomach in a ritualistic sacrifice to the glow cloud.

[@jelliclecat27]

@@corvid.monarchy4875 all hail the Glow Cloud!

[@anduinxbym6633]

Should have listened to the prophecy....

[@luke.b.edixon1307]

7

[@willow2893]

that shade at rich people + taxes holy hell i forgot how much shade this episode threw

[@0nullnil]

It's beautiful.

[@selenakirby9809]

"I don't know if he listens to me." POOR CECIL BABY OMG

[@serena6090]

I KNOW MY HEART BROKE WHEN HE SAID THAT

[@BeefJerkyGirl]

THAT MADE ME SO SAD I

[@dreamlesssleepart]

MAH HEART HAS BEEN STABBED AND ROLLED OVER WITH A STEAM ROLLER THAT POOR BABY

[@nostop320]

I JUST DIEED

[@pollylittle7568]

What is Carlos thinking? Don't make Cecil sad?

[@fionatherobot4777]

Cecil crushing on Carlos is my life honestly

[@AG-yj2ck]

yes

[@yoursugarflower7359]

How are you Fiona

[@Norjay21]

Same

[@AlmostMilk.]

Same

[@mushroom_doesnt_exist8053]

Yes, they shall be shipped from now on

[@fsasser20]

"John peters, you know, the farmer"

[@cr1ng3_king]

I don't get it...

[@AquaLantern]

+Caitlyn 30 his name is literally John Peters Youknowthefarmer x)

[@frxnkie.mp3]

+LordManda2 XD

[@feathery555]

"these snakes have been described as terrifying, *loafsome*, and probably from the bowels of hell itself"

[@sharkpopsharkie]

You mean desert bluffs

[@katkennedy7854]

Loathsome...he said loathsome... though loafsome is also fairly funny it's unfortunately not a real word.

[@LillyJudson]

Heh loaf-some

[@smol_chilli_pepper]

Cecil is so cute. don't worry Carlos would love you one day

[@cayennelee5015]

😈🍎🖊🍍

[@stupidjojofan6515]

Ye

[@MonkaBonka]

spoilers...

[@carolinea3899]

It's funny that the KZbin add before the video was: "Why are we making Cheerios Gluten Free?" XD Oh the irony is beautiful.

[@CrimsonSandBoa]

That is epic! XD

[@thescholarlywalrus1138]

That's not irony.

[@ProffesorAw3some]

theScholarlyWalrus it is though. gluten comes from wheat

[@ignitedrowlets5776]

+ProffesorAw3some And, it's byproducts.

[@theberrby6836]

... There's an ad about why are Cheerios Gluten free?? Why?... lol I mean, a conversation maybe, but an ad is.. whyy? lol

[@francescaa8331]

Had imaginary corn flakes made with that delicious imaginary corn. I'm safe.

[@floofybean7436]

Francesca S LOOOOOOOOOL

[@ysabeauvalikov7894]

What if we are all actually quarantined behind the playground in Missiongrove Park, and the secret police have set us into a Matrix-like unreality to entertain us, and Cecil is the only thing that we can remember from our beloved town, because we will always have the Radio?

[@wintercaptain]

+Ysabeau Valikov ((NO U_U))

[@francescaa8331]

Who told you?!

[@angelinad6739]

.....woah

[@funfaxwithkait8939]

You know I usually tell this to tumblr users but, I think it's time to turn off you computer... And/or mind. Preferably both.

[@ancalabond8703]

+Kaitlyn Hendrix can't tell if anti-theorizing asshat... Or secret police...

[@jasonwalker4003]

so there was a medicine ad right before the weater, and I didn't realize that. The ad had nice music, but I was very confused as to why the lyrics were about heart failure.

[@pollylittle7568]

Jason Walker This says so much about our fandom.

[@genderkwerfirebird8704]

It really does though-

[@bennyblubman9476]

Sometimes I forget I'm watching nightvale and that whatever story I'm being told may be interrupted by a lack of oxygen or a strange redaction in the form of a blender. Never change nightvale

[@FortisArbor]

GOsh That part with the running water surprised me so much ;-; Even if he _did_ warn us about it

[@hiimanawkwardhuman8278]

I was doing something when it happend and ignored the warning and then it happened and i was like "Hello?!?! Cecil where'd you go!"

[@sknfmsmr]

I was listening this at 1 a.m. Creepy...

[@ariannewingard1660]

Man, I love night vale. It's surreal , creepy yet Cecil makes it all so soothing . I personally love that the radio host is named Cecil. Praise the Glow Cloud

[@RibhFlannery]

all hail the glow cloud

[@GatlingPea32]

Listening this while doing Math problems and making Fractal artwork makes those experiences 10x better with Nightvale.

[@xtremerandomdude188]

Arianne Wingard all hail the glow cloud, all hail glow cloud

[@johanna6546]

We're still talking about the Glow Cloud?

[@cardinalhamneggs5253]

I DEFY THE GLOW CLOUD! ALL HAIL THE PYRAMID!

[@zannacart8533]

Well, I shouldn't have had toast this morning.

[@40wetnoodles]

You may now proceed to quarantine

[@ellaheartz8389]

Damn. I am coming with you friend. I had toast this morning as well.

[@doodlebrain6594]

Zanna C Art well we can all weave in the quarantine together!

[@whatdoyouwantyoutwat4133]

I ate cereal with wheat...so yeah I got it worse cause I ate tiny little satans

[@xtremerandomdude188]

We should all go to quarantine together because i just ate a whole sandwich for breakfast

[@JamieAshleyWoods]

I was eating a piece of bread while I listened to this. Welp, I'm dead

[@jawbone6541]

+Jamie “Ashley” Woods NOOOOOOOOOOO(hurriedly pumps snake out of your body) LIVE! LIIIIIVE!(does mouth to mouth. when that fails i go to bill, proposing a deal) ...... are you okay now?

[@JamieAshleyWoods]

J Ickes Well, I don't think I'm *dead* necessarily, but... What did you promise Bill?

[@jawbone6541]

Jamie Woods weellllll..... um, i kind of decided to trade him alll wheat and wheat by products in night vale for him to keep as pets in exchange for everyone's safety. that is kinda how it all disappeared.

[@JamieAshleyWoods]

J Ickes Oh. Wait, how did you get the wheat and wheat byproducts? Didn't they reeducate you yet?

[@jawbone6541]

Jamie Woods wait, wat were we talkin about? how ya doin? doin fine?

[@gnomethy]

Carlos x Cecil is my otp

[@dreamlesssleepart]

totally :3

[@tinybluecactus5587]

Cecilos.

[@Bird_Nerd_Kae]

Naomi M Yaaaaaaas!

[@matthenry2835]

Skater Bird aren't they married now

[@Chilidog02]

Cecilos is cute AND CANON

[@mxphxsto8334]

The " Goodnight Night Vale, goodnight" is literally the best part of every episode

[@BuglordSupreme]

Cecil is adorable.

[@AG-yj2ck]

yes.

[@louise8073]

true

[@porchcollapse8612]

Very true

[@rainyday471]

Extremely true

[@allpainnogain5368]

yes.

[@amyhwillis]

I own several blood stones and I laugh so hard I cry every time it's mentioned. Seriously. Where has Night Vale been all my life?

[@Sakountala1]

Amy Willis You must be on your way to becoming a great citizen.

[@a.cooper7019]

"Wheat and wheat byproducts have become destructive spirits" Ah yes. The Karpoi. Never liked those nuisances much!

[@jungkookisthedeathofme27]

Akinna Cooper AYO I SPY A PERCY JACKSON REFERENCE!! YOU ARE NOW MY FRIEND

[@a.cooper7019]

YES SOUNDS GOOD

[@klillym1461]

Akinna Cooper no they didn't

[@kyannkoboyashi1390]

True they might be cute but they are vicious 😂karpoi should not be messed with

[@macdege6754]

@@kyannkoboyashi1390 That's all schist if you ask me.

[@Yunisca30]

Why do I get the feeling the man staring intensely at the microphone in the recording booth with suspicion is Cecil? Also, Cecil when are you going to report on that visit you made to Gravity Falls? We await your harrowing tales of "liking bread" before a mayoral election and surviving an apocalypse of weirdness.

[@H.J.Fleischmann]

Wait. when was he in Gravity Falls, Oregon?

[@dcatlovescreativity31]

H.J. Fleischmann He voices Tad Strange

[@johnsheridan6027]

Honestly he’s probably say the place he visited was a tad strange

[@jadynnkotch1833]

cecil being ignore by carlos is honestly such a mood. its okay buddy, we can obsess over our crushes knowing they'll never know we exist together :,)

[@zay7244]

I thought he was going to say: Trying to patch a leaky roof? Use wheat. x'D

[@cayennelee5015]

Zay I see u everywhere

[@emmaslayden7439]

Same

[@IceFireofVoid]

I feel like all of this has a deeper meaning.

[@TearsofaGhost]

+SnowScales It does. :)

[@MrRevillo]

+Trilogy or not - really depends on the listeners interpretation ^^

[@utopiavey]

I think it's the meaning of life.

[@ashenrxse]

+Elyas Safwan neither do I. When I tried to understand whether there was a deeper meaning or not I was taken to somewhere (location unknown) and had my memory removed.

[@BeefJerkyGirl]

+Liam Canney ohmygosh I was thinking that @ like about how Night Vale is disconnected from the rest of the world and have no natural disasters happening but instead have a bunch of supernatural occurrences in replace of... but I never thought about the other stuff ,,, that's such a scary thought

[@zay7244]

Welcome to Night vale were touring and stopped like just down the road from my house, and I only found out about it yesterday and when they just started i missed it. Damn.

[@wyattwieber3036]

"John Peters. You know, the farmer." Why does this always remind me of John Mulaney whenever I hear it

[@emilyhudson1826]

"And I said yes, y'know, like a lier" Yup...same pattern of speech...I see it now... Cecil Palmer *is* John Mulaney O-O

[@breeholyoak4771]

I was eating toast when " wheat by products become snakes "came on 😂😂 help

[@monika3208]

Cecil: Don't eat wheat by products lest they take over your body and soul. Me:*slowly puts the pocky sticks behind the couch cushion*

[@breadmoneymusic]

Don't worry Cecil, I always listen to you.

[@pablokult248]

Currently staring down the butter croissants across from me to make sure they don't move

[@mistycremo9301]

After Cecil announced "And now the weather" but before the weather played, there was a commercial for Burger King tacos, and I spent about a minute thinking that that was the weather (I was in another tab, so I couldn't see it)

[@the_cosmic_alexolotl2282]

but... but Tad... ...you like bread...

[@beaniepollard8290]

perfect.

[@envella]

*loves bread

[@Hana-yu1fj]

I knew Ted was always a little strange.

[@someoneoutthere3232]

Guys, it's a conspiracy. They're sending us mixed messages.

[@mads3437]

around 6:00 rip everyone with headphones (including myself)

[@Winged_Lollipops]

I was using headphones but my dad left to pick up my mom from work so I took them out, days forward a couple minutes and I was thanking the Glow Cloud

[@kristianrussell9880]

Thank you so much!

[@joceybear303]

Well I didn't consume any wheat or wheat by-products today but I did eat venomous snakes and evil spirits. I should be fine!

[@frxnkie.mp3]

You should probably pray to the glow cloud just to be safe

[@willudgens]

is no one going to mention the babbling brook and blender xD

[@dmichand5191]

No

[@TimDuffieRules]

And neither should you, for your own safety!

[@JJ-oe5tm]

Please arrive for re-education at town hall tomorrow, you will be there regardless

[@charlotteshenkenberger345]

What Brook and Blender?

[@thesis2602]

yes i am, indeed, in quarantine

[@theowhite4267]

Us to

[@thehailedacorn6054]

*wheat byproducts cant melt steel beams*

[@patriasilverio1012]

Cecil's love for Carlos was one-sided...That's so sad..

[@mayormarshmallow]

for now ;)

[@juniarvidsson7755]

@@mayormarshmallow foreshadowing?? 🙏😳

[@utardaheidinn9048]

Wait for the wedding

[@charlotteelizabeth1239]

cough ep. 27 cough

[@stressedoutazim3931]

1:35 wheat and wheat by product 2:31 apache tracker but is changed 5:40 technical problems 6:14 update on wheat 6:56 sorry about that 8:23 John Peters...y'know, the farmer 8:41 imaginary corn 9:25 John Peters ...y'know, the farmer

[@ty4082]

I shouldn't have worn earphones for this episode...

[@frxnkie.mp3]

The technical problems tho

[@sirspectre9909]

*sloooooooowly looks at mini wheats cereal* Uh....

[@justrandom1733]

Pinkie Pie Doesn't that make you infected D: That poor person would have to go to quarantine

[@Revenant-Will]

InsomniaticFirefly don't worry its not like you'll digest the bones,probably.

[@krell.1415]

Ah, same. Night Vale shouldn't be mixed with breakfast food. For your safety, of course.

[@jaydenn3479]

@@justrandom1733 you're about 6 years early...

[@justrandom1733]

@@jaydenn3479 oh yooo?? that is WEIRD

[@randomperson5791]

I love how this is chock full of satire...

[@AbbiXIII]

This became even more funny with Gravity Falls newest episode XD Fucking Tad Strange man.

[@masonlewis2084]

Did you just mention Gravity Falls? Oh no dies crying

[@jordanoh659]

@@masonlewis2084 same fam

[@jordanoh659]

"This experience will forever scare Tad Strange"

[@eiiza8283]

I got an ad JUST after he said, "and now the weather", and I thought that the ad was the weather for a second.

[@TheDrewcifur]

I'm eyeing my loaf of wheat bread suspiciously...

[@FirstnameLastname-bh9qs]

Listening in 2020 "Terminal Quarantine might seem scary now but..." ooooooof

[@DustWarden]

He says "wheat and wheat by-products," or some variation thereof, 19 times. Remember this number, for it is surely significant.

[@EstelleAlbert]

Relistening to WTNV after 3 years and feeling so DUMB for always skipping the weather when I first discovered the podcast, especially when hearing such little treasures as the one in this episode, I guess it's time to make up for my earlier mistakes

[@rainbowzebra361]

Glad that the wheat and wheat by-products situation worked out... hope that Carlos starts listening to Cecil! Have a great day :)

[@tallahriehl8220]

"Terminal quarantine might seem scary now," oh how things age lol

[@fremmedson2832]

Taxes always seem to be going up, but we can always trust the council to properly manage our funds. It's what makes Night Vale such a wondrous little town.

[@genericcanadian2048]

I love this podcast way to much

[@citycouncilcyberoperations1962]

Holy Hell, either my paranoid mind is playing tricks on me from listening to all these podcasts or my webcam just turned on all by itself...

[@davepetacreates]

0.0 hmmmmm

[@sunnylad01]

I was eating pumpkin pancakes while listening to this. Idk if it has wheat. It might have wheat. But it was mostly pumpkin and pancake mix.

[@trashedeggnog3858]

The Marked Mistress what pumpkin?

[@leeakers4106]

W h e a t b y - p r o d u c t

[@leechisscreaming9737]

This episode hits different in 2020....

[@jawbone6541]

Ha ha! I ate cornbread today! CORNbread! (runs to check cornbread ingredients: CONTAINS: blah, blah, WHEAT, blah) Whelp! I'm dead! AND WHY DOES CORNBREAD HAVE WHEAT?!

[@totallynotphoenixwright]

+J Ickes corn *BREAD* rest in pieces

[@jawbone6541]

rhinktastic (dying noises and twitching)

[@totallynotphoenixwright]

(joins you in dying, as ate 9 pieces of bread yesterday)

[@jawbone6541]

rhinktastic (my ghost) goodbye, everyone....... (headstone) was killed by cornbread, because they watched night vale

[@youngsherlocknoidea8942]

gluten free bread solved

[@bethanyshaltz8142]

"And this one goes out to the celiacs among our audience"

[@DelilahTheStupidRat]

why cant actual news be this entertaining?

[@yilvoxe4017]

i aym cecil here's vayl of nite the citee counsil's bound tu fite forget thuh sneks abov ur hed obey, listenur lik the bred.

[@g12bzy]

Yilvoxe This is excellent. You are excellent. I'm glad I got to read this :)

[@cryptidkisser4276]

i just got done eating and a waffle and then i hear " wheat and wheat by- products a turning into snakes"

[@dynamicloss1492]

13:55 where Cecil starts talking about Carlos

[@river1153]

Man, terminal quarantine does sound a bit scary.

[@sofiaferrari205]

the Marcus Vansten bit was to die for 😂 I could actually see someone from fox news say something like that

[@yilvoxe4017]

ikr? it's like, there are people that actually think like that. it's called Republicans.

[@rosemarycat5]

Oh dear, the quarantine bit is relevant

[@Ace_Up_My_Sleeve]

Terminal quarantine... This hits different these days...

[@Prophecyarmour]

Could the "technical difficulties" be us experiencing the shockwave of distorted space and time, that makes Night Vale what it is?

[@kayleesmith1268]

Me: eating wheat and wheat byproducts with the faceless old woman secretly living in my house Nightvale: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[@deanastasya]

This really hit different this year huh

[@holobaby3910]

The clicking at 6:10 nearly threw me into a seizure but nightvale is still worth it

[@elijahevan5722]

Relistening to these after finally catching up. I'm noticing how many subtle things I missed the first time around.

[@diabelskiananas8679]

I hope we get to hear from Carlos himself. I would love to meet him

[@mrmonti620]

I wander what level my souls is... Probably a 2. Maybe a 3.

[@Lalalalala1231]

This one hits diferent

[@TheGreatCreator101]

The quarantine bit hits different 1 year into covid quarantine.

[@TheLilacButterfly]

The need for air- Cecil, are you okay?

[@JonnyDoesGaming]

I dunno about you guys but I could really go for some wheat and wheat byproducts right about now.

[@theconfusedvampire]

I came back to listen to this episode, because, I have Celiac's Disease and am currently in the Emergency Room because of wheat. The irony is delicious.

[@daishoryujin95]

But not as delicious as *wheat and wheat byproducts™*

[@TheEnmineer]

I was eating wheat lasagna, Welp, I'm d- **dies**

[@thejasminedragonmerchant6843]

Well, darn. I should have known not to have had that whole wheat toast and multi grain cereal this morning....

[@arcadepunk]

*eat's a peice of bread then hear's the part about wheat or wheat byproducts being evil* SHIT! i'm dead!

[@dreamlesssleepart]

I ate imaginary bread today, wonder what's gonna happen

[@thecoolboys1975]

Quarantine because of wheat and wheat byproducts, I'm in quarantine because of Corona

[@allpainnogain5368]

"Terminal quarantine might seem scary now..." sure, it sure does.

[@Soupigeon]

Reading the comments before listening to the episode is the most terrifying

[@H.J.Fleischmann]

The weather was spot on this week!

[@emeraldtopaz]

this is one of my favourite episodes out of the series wow

[@DeisFortuna]

Are these broadcasts canonically going on throughout the course of the day? Because if not, that was a batshit crazy twenty minutes.

[@shaggmiester3196]

EraseDiskNow yes, and each episode is usually about a week apart

[@janeakindele-abe6855]

Funny how the quarantine part of this episode is exactly what's happening right now. Being forced to quarantine or (in some parts of the world) you can be jailed.

[@misteruncanny]

Yo ya boy just got his heart broken indirectly so this is my new hobby now!!

[@nightowl8477]

19:59 you (and your wheat) are the only thing helping me, Cecil.

[@TopMagician777]

I have celiac disease so I can't eat gluten...wheat is gluten... I win. =U=

[@klillym1461]

Ally Perkins it runs in my family :/

[@paradoxthekid4776]

Hah! Same here!!

[@LLG-hj8jf]

Same

[@Norjay21]

This whole podcast should have billions of views

[@roboriley]

I put this on so I could go to sleep and the EAS alarm that played scared the shit out of me

[@micah8439]

Aahhhhh the artwork makes sense now Also, poor Cecil, I'm sure Carlos will listen to you one day

[@jasonbrowning5796]

Best content I’ve come across in years. ❤️

[@Scooterpiety]

Man this episode hits different after so long in quarantine.

[@GuyFieriayylmao]

Wheat can't melt steel beams.

[@sleeplessdoe2097]

***** Did you know you're the Anti-Christ? ------------------------------->www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006764

[@GuyFieriayylmao]

Honey Intercine Yeah, how the fuck do you think I manage to stay on network television.

[@sleeplessdoe2097]

***** XD LOL

[@casey1151]

+Not Guy Fieri its byproducts can

[@Olivia-ek9ib]

We may have a wheat and wheat by-product epidemic, but the weather was quite nice today.