Welcoming In A New Child Into Your Foster Home with Rob Scheer - The Here to Help Podcast

[@Shellyshocked]

I remember being dropped off at a new foster home and as soon as the worker and I walked in the door the foster Mom just pointed at a back room and said go in there while me and the worker talk. It was a very cold welcome. No one walked me to the room or made sure I felt welcomed. I went into the room, jumped out the window, and hitch hiked back to my dealers house. I was only 13. Maybe if someone had taken the time to make me feel welcomed, I would have stayed. All my foster experiences were like that. I felt more at home on the streets.

[@monkeybearmax]

I’m so sorry. 😢you deserved way more

[@LP-tu8li]

So sorry for your experience. I wish you had experienced the love and welcome you deserved.

[@LoversFriends]

I'm so sorry for your experience. But also thank you shedding light that its important to making the child feel welcome. Thank you ❤

[@alexandragrace8164]

Wow Rob, thank you so much. As a lesbian I can really connect to your story… I too was carrying a trash bag of what was left of my belongings (what my mom hadn’t destroyed) and I ended up homeless during high school, completing my education while couch-surfing and getting s*xually assaulted multiple times in the process because I wasn’t staying in safe places. Now I work in child protection. It took me ages to accept being a lesbian because I’d been so bullied about it as a child. You are correct that it’s all about dignity - dignity is the opposite of trauma! Thanks for inspiring us Rob! Your work is incredible!

[@brendashelonko2149]

Thank you for featuring this guest! What a great extension of your message.

[@foster.parenting]

Thank you for tuning in! :)

[@hallelfridman]

Hi Laura, as someone who was severely neglected as a young girl and developed a binge eating disorder as a safety mechanism, how do you deal with foster youth who use food to self soothe to the point of self harm? I see a lot of videos where you offer kids treats and snacks in their room to help them go through hard times and I wonder if you go about it differently with youth who are trying to develop more structure around eating and to use different coping mechanisms. Thank you.

[@KatTheo431]

All kids are different, but I remember when I entered foster care at 12, the word "home" was really triggering. The idea of saying "welcome home" to a new foster child especially one who as just be taken from their home - that may not be a good idea. It's not home. I got upset with the idea of these strangers thinking their homes were better than mine and the whole struggle to go home. Reunification wasn't possible for me so I couldn't go home. Even now, that world is difficult. I still feel that longing to go home. Your home can be fine, but it's not "home". Feeling welcomed is fine, but it's not going home.

[@basementdwellers2231]

Is home not where the heart is?

[@AmaleeWilson]

I never knew what a CASA was until I saw this video. Thank you for this awesome content - I want to foster eventually, but I’m so glad that there’s a way to get involved sooner.

[@divine_mortality]

Such powerful about supporting the family unit, no matter what it is in the moment ❤

[@laartje24]

11:40 I want to add something to that. I am not saying you shouldn't do it, just saying you should take a little extra care with that if your child has either body dysmorphophobia, eating disorders or gender dysphoria, because in those cases seeing themselves can be a trigger. Not saying you shouldn't take the picture, just that you should talk to them and do it with care.

[@alexandragrace8164]

I was an anorexic and grew up in the system and then homeless in high school… and it made a masssive positive difference to me to have a family I was staying with hang up a picture of me 😊. It made me feel like I belonged. I’m sure Rob and his husband make sure the kid is happy with the pic they choose to display.

[@meschahayes1003]

Can anyone enlighten me as to what it means to mentor a foster child, or volunteer in a group home?

[@foster.parenting]

Yes! So you can mentor through a non profit that serves current or former foster youth. For example, if there is a local nonprofit that works with transition age youth, you can offer career mentorship in your line of work, help them with their resume or interview skills. At a group home, volunteers typically help organize and run events.

[@meschahayes1003]

@@foster.parenting to be honest, I feel like I need a mentor for all those things 😭😂

[@user-ns4yk1lm7j]

Some states don't let you take the foster kids on your vacations even when you want to.

[@phyllisboom3990]

I am interested in becoming a CASA and I live in CA can someone please direct me on where and how to get started.

[@Mysterious-Night]

First

[@foster.parenting]

Hi!

[@carmensekela7188]

Never met a happy foster child.

[@basementdwellers2231]

I have.