INFJ, WHY CHOOSING YOURSELF WILL ANNOY PEOPLE

[@Wenzes]

What are your experiences with people getting triggered when you choose yourself?

[@francisjudge]

most get triggered when i chose to share my perspectives about pretty much anything. World wide public health emergencies are particularly tough

[@kathieramos4905]

Every time I display my true authentic self I certainly get push back (rejection, odd looks, who does she think she is attitude and what’s she up to…etc.). When I make myself a priority and ignore outside distractions (others drama/problems) I feel the emotions of disappointment, hurt and upset coming from husband, children, family and friends sucking all my emotional energy out of me (something I’ve been actively working on for years to not feel guilty for protecting myself) it’s not been easy and I struggle a lot. 😮

[@corporaterobotslave400]

Bullies always get triggered by my happiness; it's one way they "out" themselves almost immediately. I just smile at them while telling them what losers they are. ;) (Pre-emptive Mirroring). I've had a best friend for over 20 years who still is not choosing her own happiness over sacrificing herself for ppl who don't even care about her or respect her due to her childhood traumas... and I just can't watch her continue to destroy herself as she calls me to whine about how awful her life is. Well, she chose it. I feel like I have to cut her off in order for her to grow because my "counsel" is not being heeded or respected. I watched her grow to finally understand her situation over the past 20+ years, but now she's purposely choosing misery. I just can't watch any more. SO depressing.

[@AshrekaKuku]

I always choose my self and when people are triggered i dont care. Maybe i will give them more pain because i no more give fuck about them👍.I am infj age 22 (may be intj too) but any ways i never care and i live as i want. ❤

[@MichellaWalkine]

Caused fight in school.. and it's crazy because I was quiet and stayed to myself

[@mlbullbooks]

Solitude and independence scares many people. I can be happy and content by myself, rarely feel lonely in solitude, and don’t believe in my emotional state or self-worth being dependent on someone else. Many people feel threatened or are unable to do this because of their self-worth and self-confidence being dependent on others’ validation. For me, I see friendships and relationships deeper and differently than others do, and value my peace above having connections just for the sake of it or so I’m not alone. When you merely have connections because you NEED them, that’s when they fall into the danger zones of toxicity, codependency, obsession, narcissism, etc rather than personal growth, acceptance, and true fulfillment.

[@AshrekaKuku]

"A person who is not in alignment with who they meant to be is always going to hurt oneself and others" Wenzes

[@ezr168]

Ignoring the game is freedom, enjoy

[@AmorosoGombe]

I'm getting the point where I am so tired of people. I really want to stay away from them. I'm exhausted.

[@TF-fv6lt]

Do it. Make time for your peace of mind.

[@LyraMeldy]

I have noticed so far that people are just triggered by me being authentic and not giving a flying F about social norms and they perceive me thinking that I am somehow above them, which is in no way my opinion or intention

[@jikook7457]

I'll never understand how anyone can hate on someone who is always nice to them and cares about other people. I guess misery loves company.

[@Clevelandsteamer324]

They see it as weakness.

[@jikook7457]

@Clevelandsteamer324 that can be a big problem for them. I'm really good at being mean and a quick witt with scorching sarcasm is my only talent, although I keep it under wraps because, why be a jerk?, I'd much rather make people feel good by being nice. Mistaking kindness for weakness can bring lots of sadness their way.

[@HoàngNgân-n4h]

Or maybe they feel like your are invading their boundary. They are capable of doing things and thinking for themselves. By helping them where they don't need your help, they may feel offended. Also, some people hate to feel weak, and they project their strong hatred for weakness on you. For them, being nice equal being weak.

[@jikook7457]

@@HoàngNgân-n4h asking a coworker, who's arms are full, if they need me to open the door doesn't feel like an invasion of a boundry to me. It feels like common courtesy. But if I DIDN'T open the door, they'd gripe about that too. 🤪 Some people, like my coworkers, aren't happy unless they're miserable I guess. The problem is, like I said in another comment, I'm really good at being a nasty b(w)itch. I just choose not to be. I might have to start giving them some of that and see which me they prefer. 😁 They don't realize that choosing to control my temper and be nice, takes alot more strength than being nasty does. ☺️

[@Sallie_O]

They see how the influence of being polite and peaceful affects people around you positively. There are people who genuinely like you and want to be with you. As few as they are at times. Because we are constantly pouring into ourselves - We’re a living example and an encouragement to others of a free and healthy human. They want to hold that ‘Value’ for themselves. We achieve this effortlessly. It happens simply by existing. Imagine how that feels to a bitter minded clone?

[@y.michelleelam3771]

Great video, thank you! This is HELL for me in Corporate America... I FINALLY realized that will never work and it's time for me to do my own thing 100%.

[@wintermatherne2524]

You ave to be a conformist to work in corporate America. Juice not worth the squeeze.

[@jdjd8391]

Same in France and same decision. Good Luck Michelle !

[@Bat_Boy]

A GHOST STORY My father was a malignant, grandiose narcissist. He fathered 9 children. All 9 of them became either a zombie, a vampire, or a ghost. A zombie is a hurting person, unknowingly hurting others. A vampire drains it's victims energy. A ghost can watch, but does not take part, often because of self preservation. They look like normal people. But, you must get closer, to see who they are. But, the paradox is you might get attacked. A zombie has no self awareness, and can not / will not understand their behavior. A vampire knows what it is doing, and will not stop, as it emotionally drains you. Another ghost might try to solidify just enough, so you can connect, but they are likely to dissolve, and float away. Ghosts are uncommon. Vampires love ghosts, as they are tricked into solidifying, so the vampire can feed. I am glad to be a ghost, and not a zombie or vampire. I don't want to solidify in attempts to save them, because they can not change. I want to solidify for myself, and leave the peace and safety of the ghost world...at least, more often. That's the great thing about being a ghost. I know who I am, and what I can do. I can change

[@cinderling5472]

Hello fellow recovering Casper You've got this! We can do it 💜i believe in us!

[@michellieelizabeth]

That was beautiful ❤️

[@YourwayCorporation]

You should write a gothic / horror novel full of symbols! You are talented! Turn your pain and gift into something fascinating! Pain is the father of creativity

[@noname61581]

When I'm being myself, people hate me and it makes me sad. It also makes me sad when I'm not being myself. One way or another, I'm always the one who gets sad.

[@braxtonmills1235]

Are you safe ?

[@noname61581]

@@braxtonmills1235 Yes. Thank you for asking

[@SueEllenSmith-ju4ot]

Choose nature

[@braxtonmills1235]

@@noname61581 of course :):).

[@alexadellastella5247]

I relate totally... sadly...

[@McD-j5r]

“Your happiness offends me!” Yep!

[@WarriorsSon]

Just try changing career,using your time differently to recharge, saying no to things others see as priority. People get very confused and agitated. But we have reasons for our change. Are we not the catalyst for change that when it has completed can also bring peace ,interest, and meaning to others. A shame that they take so long to realise,and we fight alone for so long.

[@sunny3264]

Love that comment

[@braxtonmills1235]

Sometimes extroverts don't understand introverts unless it's explained. I will admit HALF of extroverts can be energy vampires. I believe ENFJ ESFJ ENFP ARE not and actually care and love and try to understand introverts.

[@tamiliknes5143]

All my life I have been such a huge trigger to others. And I always try so hard to be solely supportive to others. The ones that have something simmering in their own soul seem to have a visceral reaction to me. .

[@jikook7457]

Same for me. I'll never understand someone hating on me because I'm nice.

[@braxtonmills1235]

Run run run from them.

[@braxtonmills1235]

​@@jikook7457Run.

[@jikook7457]

@braxtonmills1235 good advice.

[@light5634]

Yeah, many people really dislike it when we decide to be ourselves and not make a ton of compromise to fit in. I've experienced that with my own mother. But I found out I really like my own company a good deal of the time. Fun thing right now I'm wearing a dress in the exact same nuance of green as your blouse 😸

[@kriskramer1350]

I’ve been sober for 1 year and since have been doing some serious personal development and introspection, through😅. Anyway, everyone I know and that thought they knew me were taken aback when I started focusing on what truly made me happy. Some were offended and accused me of being selfish and other things, but those few who matter were so very excited to see the evolution of my true self and happiness. So it’s gone both ways with others, but as far as I’m concerned, I’m experiencing true happiness and self awareness for the first time in soooo long. 😅❤

[@suowner]

This is very true, I felt this last BJJ promotion, I was meant to be a part of the ceremony, and I wasn't capable of being emotionally stable with the social situation. I left and many people were upset with me because i didn't do what they wanted, i missed my promotion and offended a lot of people. I also have another friend that uses me as an emotional trampoline, and if I don't answer their phone calls, I can feel they are pissed at me for not giving all of me; taking that space back offends them because they take me for granted...

[@braxtonmills1235]

@@suowner Awwwww are you okay ?

[@cosmic_kitticat]

I can relate. You have to work through letting go of caring so much of what others think of you to reach inner peace. I'm working through that as well. Greetz from a INFJ BJJ Blue belt

[@Adailyy_]

This was why i stopped showing up at work. I have no idea why my boss was always triggered by me. I could never just sit and be myself. There was no time to think, and if i stayed idle for more than a second, she flights up. I loved the creative process of my job, but not that part. She wasn't a bad person. Just wanted me to become her. She called me and doesn't understand why i decided to "doorslam" her.

[@Bat_Boy]

This is THEE BEST INFJ nuanced explanation, I have ever come across. And I've watched many of these type of videos. Great job!!! 👍

[@digimei2143]

I mean like people are just judging us INFJs for the way we live even though we are not hurting everyone around us. they should mind their own business. If everyone around this world would mind their own business. the whole world would be a better place to live. that just me

[@mattbraun3037]

Yes!

[@braxtonmills1235]

Maintainability Maintainability Mantainability thats what ill focus on. That will make me feel the most secure Yay :):):):):):):):).

[@calihew03]

You expressed so clearly what I have been struggling to put into words about the way I've felt punished/backlash for being myself in this world. The part about going deep and accept the journey and ignoring the game is such valuable wisdom! God bless you!

[@BeautifulDreamerK]

Lately I’ve been putting myself first and as a married couple, we’ve always been loyal and have been there for our loved ones. The minute we finally started putting ourselves first with taking care of our self needs as individuals and as a married couple, everyone said we were “too busy” and I absolutely hate it. For once, I’m doing something for myself and we’re doing something for ourselves. I resent being called “busy” when everyone gets to go around and be selfish or were labeled as the overly dependable couple who are expected to help with a passive aggressive ask. When we refused to “help” something (that wasn’t even our responsibility), it was like a slap in the face to them. I don’t know how to cope with this but this has been my recent epiphany.

[@ernarc23]

I love when people ask you what you did over the weekend, and I say "Nothing", and they look at me as if I'm nuts or sad. And I'm not. To me, doing nothing but experiencing my alone time however my brain or body needs, is a f=cking holiday! 🦋💕

[@cosmic_kitticat]

Yes, doing nothing is a bliss most people are afraid of. They feel like they are a had person if they do nothing.

[@MeMyself-y5n]

Sometimes, we let others be like squatters in our home. We can put them out, but our own inaction allows this, even though we don't like it. Thanks for explaining this.

[@halcyondays8945]

Whoah. “Squatters in our own home” really hit home with me. You’re so right.

[@lowellmiller6663]

Yes! This is one reason why this infj has never been able to fit into a religious structure. All the religious structures I am familiar with demand some form of compromised identity where giving the gift of authenticity is a huge threat to their fantasy. Me Being happy has caused a tremendous amount of jealousy and anger.

[@warrens1757]

I refused to go on a trip with my wife to visit her relatives. I had gone with her many times before, but I needed time to myself. That ultimately ended our marriage.

[@braxtonmills1235]

It was only a matter of time.

[@raphaelsabitzer]

Wow, that last sentence surprised me, was expecting the opposite. 🙂 Well gotta look after ourselves first.

[@suesteig3025]

I don't understand how that bothers other people. My husband sometimes didn't feel like going to see my family, and I was ok with that. It bothered my family, but I would never end my marriage just because it bothered them.

[@warrens1757]

@@suesteig3025 Since we were close to retirement, she wanted to travel and party and socialize much more than before. I was not willing to do that. So she found a new partner who was not happy with his wife. Now they are living together. I was a good husband when working but not good when retired. 😥

[@the_diamond_frequency]

I’m not saying I experienced the exact same, but for some reason I can totally relate to this. It’s very sad… I still have a hard time understanding why people react this way to us… It’s heartbreaking… ❤

[@Bl636_]

Literally you have to be 100% in 💯💯

[@Poizik]

I feel like what you are saying about authenticity is a 100% true. My guess is it stems from INFJ's TE blindness that makes us hate feeling controlled by society's standards of how one should behave and think. We want to ultimately live a life where there is freedom in how we get to express ourselves and will seek out people in our lives who encourage that part of us to come out without judgement.

[@IndigoChild60360]

You are so right it really does trigger insecure people, I am actually astounded by the lengths people will go to get you to acknowledge or reach out to them. I have chosen myself now and there is no going back. Lovely video, thank you. ❤❤❤

[@MeMyself-y5n]

And most people are insecure.

[@braxtonmills1235]

@@IndigoChild60360 Hey some people just want to give love and get it back some want to take energy or attention.

[@GRATEFULONE927]

Thank you Wences for choosing yourself! Your hard work and dedication over the years have resulted in incredible insights and depth of knowledge that you share that no one else could. Through this we all benefit so much, versus if you had not walked this path. 🎉

[@lindateuling7862]

I want to be accepted, respected and liked - I think most human beings do. But - and that's an important word - I am definitely independent. Anyone who had met my late parents would know why. It's in the genes for sure A lot of people were threatened by this when I was younger. While I tried to respect others when making choices, I still made sure that the choices fit me. When I took action I did It "My Way" because that's what I was given to work with. Then I learned that some people didn't appreciate it when I did something my way instead of theirs. And other people (including family and relatives) felt threatened. I could never figure out why - at least when I was younger. For a while I began to wonder if the only way to do something was to just be sure it wasn't my way. It didn't take too much time to learn that that was just plain wrong. At this time, even though I'm open to suggestions from people, I found that when all is said and done, I have to live my own life my own way because that's the only way possible. And it's worth it, whether or not others might not like it.

[@sagebay2803]

I am SO GLAD we are FINALLY able to get help in understanding who we really are!! You are a god-send. I wish I could have known this decades ago. I had no self-esteem, I always felt like I didn't belong in this world. I attempted suicide many times.....coming from a toxic family of Narcs. I just could NEVER understand WHY I was so different...when I was always kind and compassionate. WOW! Thank you Wenzes! You are right....I DO have a lot of healing to do.

[@hoodedhippie]

God I love how your use of words moves me 🩵

[@jeffsadowski7759]

Energetically speaking, other people's joy was supposed to be half of our own. That's why we have mirror neurons and the Observer Effect. Atoms are connected folks:)❤😂

[@IgoPodga]

often feel that, when people think I owe them something. usually, their wishes sabotage my schedule and I hate it. I've learnt saying "No" not long ago, and it's magic 😂

[@E50creative]

oh my gosh i found a gem im going to be here allot ill talk to you soon your so beautiful ty for sharing

[@troyhofmann]

I really appreciate your INFJ perspective. It’s spot on and your guidance is reassuring…🙏

[@UltimateStaredown]

I kept wanting this video to end... Because the wisdom was so abundant, heavy, and poignant! So good. Thank you!

[@CoffeeCrashedMal]

It would be very helful if you could give some examples to identify these behaviours in everyday interactions. I understand but it's hard to see this clearly as it is happening and therefore apply those changes. I love your videos, very empowering!

[@Clevelandsteamer324]

Your hair looks great! Top is perfect on you. Thanks for the advice

[@cosmic_kitticat]

Such an insightful video about the journey I laid out for myself for this lifetime. Becoming as much of my true Self as possible. It is not an easy path but walking it brings so much fulfillment. ~INFJ

[@Virvepaulina]

Oh my dear, how well are you wording these things!

[@Natalie-lf7hb]

Have a nice day dear Wenzes and have a nice life! Thank you for everything. 🙏👁️

[@antonialovejoy9270]

OMG thank you for your beautiful insight. Your videos have been so incredibly helpful. I’ve always known that I was different. I’ve been thinking that because I don’t fit into the norm that there must be something wrong with me. But I can relate so much to what you’re saying…it’s like you’re talking to me specifically. All of a sudden I like who I am. I feel like I can embrace how I am and even love it. ❤

[@valentinaduran2646]

Its hard to put into words how helpfull this information has been. Besides from being an INFJ, I am also autistic, ADHD, and come from pretty bad and persistent childhood trauma with null family support. Needless to say, ITS BEEN FREAKING HARD. But now, after years of hard studying (about this and many other topics that helped me understand better myself and my circumstances), and therapy, I can say Im finally getting to a point where I think I'm starting to feel happy? Is this what it feels like? Its a very new way of feeling. Relaxed. Not torn by feelings and sorrow (I'm 40 btw). Anyway, the way you portray this info is very eye opening, I feel reflected by your words ON POINT, all the time. I hope I get a chance to participate in one of your bootcamps as soon as I can master the money and the time (2 small children). (After watching your videos, I think my coment is one of the most INFJ things I've ever seen 😂).

[@becca1b1g]

This is my current situation. Needed to hear this today thank you.

[@bearnesss]

Wenzes, pls start a podcast!

[@LetsTalkColdplay]

I'm going to have to confront the lady that doesn't like me. I refuse to continue talking to her if she won't look me in eye. It's just not acceptable.

[@annebonny5104]

❤🙏 Thank you so much!

[@betelhemlema3434]

This is so True! 😂😢 Love you sis keep going ! ❤

[@aaronpicking4935]

This is a new top ten post

[@johnwieler7469]

she nailed it ...

[@Brody.W]

Thanks!

[@luciana1930]

I couldn't agree more. This is 💯 accurate, it defines my truth, it describes my life. Every single word is pure gold. Thank you ❤

[@SpeakLikeAColombian]

Thank you!!!!!!!!!! ❤

[@realizationstation2173]

Thank you, beloved! This answered so many questions I ask Spirit and witnessing your transformation has inspired me greatly along my journey. Here's to expansion! Again, THANK YOU!

[@justsaying993]

Thanks, Wenzes! :)

[@davidrahman389]

Well said, I agree and go through these realities too often to count..Again, thank you...

[@aaramse4329]

I like your hair cut and colour! makes you even younger then in older vids where you still had long and blondish hair!

[@pluv5688]

Big facts. Great vid. Nothing but truth spoken. It’s a vibrant ion thing to I feel. If they are in a certain vibration like a lower one. And not taking care of themselves. It’s automatic triggers for them. Or it’s easier for them to be triggered.

[@Notamusicianbut]

Thank you and bless you for making this ❤

[@BestBFam]

This makes so much sense.

[@penne999]

Excellent content always!

[@bikorambau7442]

Beautiful ❤

[@Natalie-lf7hb]

On the contrary my dear on the contrary.

[@tomislavpelegrin7477]

You said it well, for my part, I am not allowed to talk about important things. Another low frequency person has no awareness of himself or others. A man can lose himself so much that he sees only matter and again God punishes him sooner or later. How to move forward with those short people! Barely finished school and quickly boom into living with a lot of children due to insecurity. Then what is the purpose of your internet!

[@mommy6671]

Well it is true we can create a whole alternate universe in our own heads; but we also have the power to make ouselves neurotic or sad in our own heads tio. It's all a matter of choice.

[@braxtonmills1235]

@@mommy6671 Balance

[@johnmichaelfriedrich]

I like the cut of your jib! Makes sense to me. God is my external factor! ❤️👍

[@Scaredycat55]

Hopefully the VA will cover the costs of your program, they are interested in your program

[@verde5intens]

People often tell me: "you're so nice " and I'm glad that thoughts can't be read. I am annoyed and bored by people who repeat the same things, the same experiences and are surprised that they do not progress or that nothing changes in the dynamics of their relationships. People (especially relatives) who feel the need to tell me the same things over and over again. My brain screams "You're as stupid as a hamster on a wheel"

[@nataliaprodan9335]

Facts💯👌

[@Kelbelle-gt3dl]

✨🕯️🎯💫✨ thank you 🪷✨

[@royal_lotus8834]

Sometimes people that get triggered by me and when I try to understand why it happens. I notices it's some we can guide them in depend on the person and if you want to guide them through it.

[@aliaskari1971]

My question is that how we can edify people on this simple subject. One can't be so blind to ignore it! Worse is that my brother, an INFJ as me, has chosen others, while I have selected me. And it leads to endless arguments over why I do my own part only or mostly.

[@hizairin_4123]

I think I relate with you. I'm a female INFJ with another INFJ older sister. I'm on a journey of knowing myself deeper while she isn't on the same page as me. One time, I suggested Wenzes' channel for her to learn everything about being an INFJ because I'm learning a lot but she just ignored it. I asked myself "Is she seriously refusing to be more conscious of who she truly is as an individual and be a better person? If yes, then why?" It seems like she's okay with being a typical INFJ (walking stereotype) rather than an authentic INFJ (a little bit extraordinary). I guess I would never know the answer for that.

[@alexadellastella5247]

But this is like a curse cos infj love true relationships yet once they are their true self they will be hated or rejected or annoy others.... sure we can accept it, i mean what other choice do we have really?! but it is still absurd as this perverted dimension is...

[@uliyankadoe118]

Yup! It's happening because the reality here functions in an inverted form. So the good and authetic becomes the cause of misery for those stuck with inverted moral values.

[@ellarataj6590]

💚Dziękuję.

[@peterkoinzell7983]

I sorta question thinking so much in these personality typing ways.

[@braxtonmills1235]

It's helped me make tons of money.

[@peterkoinzell7983]

@@braxtonmills1235 right and what else? This a pseudo science. I've known my extroverted brother all my life and I couldn't even put him in any strict personality type. Personality typing pales to jungian psycho analysis and psyco therapy, collective unconscious and archetypes (way more than 12) imo. Wenzes makes you think you're an INFJ and she starts gassing our egos up but idk what development happens? The INFJ also seems to have a problem with getting attacked, annoying others and making others jealous b/c they are so great? If INFJs are so great why do they need 50 coaching videos? She should have been able to say all that she was going to say by now. I really wonder if there's actual wisdom here.

[@uliyankadoe118]

It's not bad, it can be truly helpful , though it can also imbalance once's life if ot becomes predominant.

[@SueEllenSmith-ju4ot]

Choose nature

[@gabrielWachong]

I took my shot and I missed my target 😭😭😅😅 Im not even mad about it, sure it kinda sucks but at the same time I feel a huge weight lifted off my back. Im always choosing me, me is all that matters.

[@braxtonmills1235]

Damn what happend.

[@gabrielWachong]

@@braxtonmills1235 nah its all good, guess it just wasn't supposed to be so. At least Im super pumped to go training 🤣🤣

[@braxtonmills1235]

Training will pay off. ​@@gabrielWachong

[@gabrielWachong]

@@braxtonmills1235 hells yeah 💪💪🔥🔥

[@ninjareport2]

You know you're very hilarious lol

[@Wenzes]

😏

[@ninjareport2]

@@Wenzes hahaha 🤣

[@_amelianogueira]

Escolhi minha felicidade para o bem de todos. Todos serão beneficiados pela minha decisão. Ficar no mesmo lugar pra agradar às pessoas, menos a nós mesmos, não ajudará ninguém a crescer.

[@braxtonmills1235]

Hope all is going well in your country.

[@_amelianogueira]

​@@braxtonmills1235 🙏🏻

[@brianhales1416]

Ab"soul"utely concur

[@haydengoodall6767]

Our Mantra should be..." Remember Peter Cetera - You're the inspiration!". 😂 Nah, but serious.

[@vincentkretzschmar4988]

Haha just be like "I don't work for you. You don't pay my salary."

[@sweswarupini9732]

True

[@OFFICIAL_TRACYLEE]

What does INFJ mean?

[@Natalie-lf7hb]

Wenzes i need to do something...

[@braxtonmills1235]

@@Natalie-lf7hb what's happening.

[@williambullock1268]

hee hee hee; they hate me because I can live a normal life and they have their back against the wall. I am ok with that.

[@AskAuntChina]

❤❤

[@SamsonPavlov]

💪🪄🙏

[@Clevelandsteamer324]

Your opinion of me is none of my business

[@JeremiahSB]

😂😂

[@LylyJoan-k5m]

Becker Mountain

[@sk3ffingtonai]

Case in point, check out all the Western women who are currently 'hating on men' that go their own way and choose not to date Western women, men that have chosen themselves and are happy living their own lives - doing their own thing, and no longer want them for companions for a myriad of reasons. The struggle is real.