INFJ, THIS FANTASY IS DESTROYING OUR LIVES

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INFJ Life Coach Lesson: Discover the allure of fantasy and its impact on INFJs. Immerse yourself in the euphoria of vivid stories that play out in our minds, fueled by intense emotion and dopamine. But beware - these illusions can crumble when reality sets in. Let's explore how chasing this enchanting experience may actually destroy our lives.
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[@Wenzes]

Has your "fantasy" gotten you too much off course or stuck?

[@mothnode]

Oh dear gods, yes. It's chronic. Some of the fantasy actually becomes reality but vast majority I tend to call "ideation" since I realized it's just my mind actually living through various scenarios in vivid detail. At some point it becomes a bit too much because the soul feels old as if it has lived a lot experiences (which in a way it did but not in a real way). Doing the "real" rejuvenates the mental energy spent on fantasy.

[@silkysmooth-vk2ux]

I turned my fantasies into realities and got it accomplished. I have to do my best to stay focused though.

[@eringlover9317]

Yes! Currently stuck in a relationship based off my fantasy of what I want it to be, but in reality, we are not on the same page.

[@silkysmooth-vk2ux]

@@eringlover9317 the fantasies that I have are based on something that's actually achievable. All I did was pray and try my best. I only have a problem with the people who doubted me.

[@bethiciaprasek1008]

I love my fantasy. The reality, what I have accomplished, mostly work but also more things, and also just keeping connections and friends…I do not feel I have let go of the steering wheel. When I was younger then that happened more often. I am currently having issues with Dad’s death, but I will move back to progress. I just need a break. I love data points…accomplishments. I have to go there (needing time to take time off due to Dad’s passing). I like having fun in the real world and have friends who do so in order to get the fun. I don’t need to do what they do. (Currently getting McD Hello Kitty toys for my coworker’s kids 😊) As I often say, I love having data points which show accomplishments.

[@lillybilly9954]

I really need to create a life I don’t have to escape from.

[@_Norah204]

This is what I thinking about

[@uliyankadoe118]

It's the ultimate challenge in the world designed for slavery in many covert ways, but worth aspiring to! It6's taking me a lifetime to create without being influenced by many unconscious forces which are traps in themselves.

[@Candyliz2003]

This sounds like the realization I had about some abusive "friends". They were "friends" for over 60 years. As a "people-pleaser" I let their bad behavior go - I could always find an excuse for it. Starting down my path into my ideal world (that includes being honest with myself) I realized the problems with these friends and how often I was teased, left out and insulted ("just teasing!"). The next interaction I had after this realization was to be told that one of these friends was "shunning" me openly (she had been doing this on the sly over the years). This lasted for 3 months over the holidays. The next time I saw these friends the "shunner" came running up to me with arms wide open and a big smile on her face. I was disgusted! I put my hand up and said, "No thank you. I have nothing to say to you!" She stood there stunned and held her "shocked" facial expression and arms up position for a solid minute until the other "friend" walked in and could see the look on her face. That long minute and the "drama" that she played for that second friend nailed it all in place for me. These people did *NOT* deserve my friendship or even my time. It was my first door-slam that I was aware of and it felt *WONDERFUL!* I was the real ME in that moment, standing up for ME in the same way I had for so many others including those so-called friends. Some say the door-slam is too mean. I think each situation is a moment unto itself, BUT, if you're being slammed by an INFJ who also happens to be a people-pleaser then I *KNOW* you deserved it! To get on our overly forgiving bad side means you are a grade "A" @$$hole.

[@randyramos2826]

Spot on!

[@mantsabengmokorosi3186]

hearing you admit your failure at being present with your kids all the time is sort of liberating for me because I had constantly beat myself up for failing at my "fantasy" for parenthood.

[@Bat_Boy]

Knowing I was an INFJ, helped me accept myself. I am not inclined to think there is something "wrong" with me. Could you imagine telling Einstein, "you live in your head too much. Go change for the better". Sorry...I like myself. Don't underestimate imagination.

[@TexasMadeAprilRenee]

💜💜💜😘💯💯👍🏾🎯🤐🔥🔥🔥

[@sonofhibbs4425]

I didn’t get that she’s saying imagination is bad or wrong. She’s trying to get one to recognize balance is key. Einstein didn’t stay in his imagination. He obviously got out and shared his work which is a different mode than imagination.

[@Bat_Boy]

@@sonofhibbs4425 - I know my lane. And I like my lane. I'm not trying to be something I am not. Don't mess with a good thing. Otherwise, enjoy swinging back and forth, attempting to have it all. (Thoughtless idiot, emotionally immature...that's someone else's job).

[@ellarataj6590]

@Bat_Boy: Sprzeciw, gdyby Einstein "żył tylko w swojej głowie", nigdy nie dowiedziałbyś się o jego istnieniu.

[@rexraptor20883]

That's true. I realized that these false fantasies aren't real. It caused me a lot of confusion, stress, anxiety, and pain. Over time, I’ve implemented looking at it from a realistic/practical standpoint it’s helped out a lot!

[@pintadki]

This made me chuckle. It seems like I've been living in a fantasy world since I was a little girl.

[@EllynW-b8s]

I’ve been having a ‘Party in my mind’ for a long time. Thank you for the details of being INFJ. Much better than ‘don’t over think,’ ‘Get busy and get things done.’ You Rock!!

[@therealjohndoe3862]

I get it. I am an older INFJ and I can so relate to this. I also know that it is part of me that made things like letting go of people and experiences that really moved me deeply was so hard because of how euphoric and idealized they were. I also think that it is directly connected to a kind of profound nostalgia that's kind of unique to deeper intuitives, imo. And yes...all this connected to my getting deeply involved with psychedelics for years when I was younger. Anyway, I could write all day, but will stop here. Thanks, and I appreciate you and your content!

[@LindaChapman-u2c]

Fantasy gets in my way as an INFJ by keeping me in relationships I know aren't healthy because I stay focused too long on what I feel could be their potential. I'm hesitent to start dating again after taking a couple decades to heal from assaults because I had a few relationships with wounded individuals who later tried to attack my whole family when they no longer felt in control. My tendency towards fantasy thinking kept me in a nursing career more decades than was safe for me to remain. I refused to read the warning signs correctly for too long due to stubbornness. I had too much fantasy belief that my position in a damaged industry could bring change by my remaining in dangererous Psych & troubled teen industry jobs I refused to interpret as unsafe for too long. Thx.❤🙏💚

[@Finalape]

Your awareness is just the tool you need now. If you date or put yourself out there again, you don't owe anyone anything. Go on the date and don't build it up before or afterwards, don't over-text/email, meet people in person and move on if you see those red flags you know you've seen before, no bonus chances. Go after what you want, or learn what you want in a person (this part review in your head, be critical) and meet lots of people (perhaps on a dating apps) without expectation. Anyway, that was my approach after not dating my whole life before my 30s and that's how I found a wonderful almost decade+ long marriage partner.

[@Stumpybear7640]

Some of my best times have been in dreams. Like being in a movie with a start, middle and end. They were and are great❤

[@lindateuling7862]

It's been my experience that through listening to internal signals, I can tell when I need grounding. For me, it's helped to focus on Fe and Se (although I still have a lot to learn about how the functions work). But what it amounts to is: I especially do well when focusing outside myself, whether it involves taking action or listening to something other that the "world of ideas." Granted, the world of ideas 💡 is where my mind belongs as a home base. But that doesn't preclude focusing outward. Interestingly enough, it's getting to where I can tell when it's time to get back to home base in the world of ideas! 🙂 It's a matter of taking time to really listen to myself - both when to focus outwards, and then trust the inner guidance to know when to change back.

[@KCobainFan4Ever]

Not going to lie, this video has been the hardest pill to swallow yet. It really is like a drug to be in my imagination as much as possible, BUT I definitely see where I’ve also really held myself back with it too. Brilliant as always. I am fully committed to basing my life around your INFJ lessons because you’re definitely talking to me. ❤

[@corporaterobotslave400]

My entire creative life is based on my imagination. Wouldn't change it for anything. Keeps me productive and sane. Anyone near better come prepared to allow it to happen, otherwise: door slam. I keep it in balance with "reality" yet it also allows me to fly over "reality" and get a much clearer view of it. I don't get lost in it. I am totally grounded. I don't have "crashes", btw. I just keep creating. My challenge is getting all my ideas down on paper or recorded or filmed. I don't rely on anyone else to accomplish my goals; they've all proven incapable and irrelevant.

[@jamesgazin9447]

Wow, this really hits home for me! Back when I was a teen in the 1970s, I wrote a song that defined my position on life. This video brought the first four lines to my mind. I haven't thought about it in decades. I like my fantasy, I find it pretty pleasin' I like my fantasy, Please let me live it in ease.

[@jimsadorra6098]

My childhood fantasy is working fine with me 😊 it's my inspiration to find something that can keep me alone and secured 😊😊😊

[@airam-sj2172]

Yes, I lived an almost fictional lofe story that put me in the highest state of mind but crashed down on me with the same intensity. I don't want to remain in it anymore.

[@matiasschmied1156]

One of your most profound and insightful videos, thanks!

[@JacobEarnest-h9i]

Thank you, I have been working on putting up those blinders to block out the negativity people project and to live my life as I choose

[@spiritlance364]

As an INFJ who's writing a book and looking for a job while I write it, I feel totally seen by this video. I'm always battling with whether I'm this crazy person who has no concept of reality, due to my more 'unconventional' goals like being a fiction author. My powerful imagination also made me stay in a situationship with someone who disrespected me for years.

[@braxtonmills1235]

I'm sorry :(.

[@lindateuling7862]

Even though I am firmly entrenched in senior citizenship, I still need to be aware of what you're talking about here. Even when I'm in a low mood (it doesn't occur as much now, but still does) I still need to make a realistically active and initiative -taking day and, as you say, take ahold of the steering wheel. SE, here I come! 😊

[@vincentkretzschmar4988]

Capoeira, drawing, and animation got me out of my head

[@TheDarkInformative]

I most closely resonate with INFJ personality typing, and you are completely right, I need to self discipline on a daily level not to fantasize, I have been working on it for the past 10 years or so. I find it unhealthy to act on our fantasy, therefore fantasies are dangerous. It is just chasing ghosts.

[@WarnerElliott]

It's totally worth it, in the end. I'm dying, and I have no regrets.

[@adatybor]

Oh, there you are 🙂. Beautifully spoken. I got your point. My perspective: It works for me to have both in parallel. Also not paradoxically experienced or just enjoying the moments, but actively linked to long term goals in the real world. It can be an elixir for that. Perhaps years of abstinence helped me. Mega blinkers with a lot of discipline to get to my core and not get stuck. Maybe it's also how I deal with it and how I see it. It doesn't have to be an escape, it can be a vision for taking action. If I had to describe it, they are two different energies. I can be present in the meantime. With progess in the real world. That's why a lot of energy is so important. Maybe I am rarer than I thought. Discipline and balance are good keys for me. Not losing yourself too. Extremes are rarely good. And analyzing less is good and liberating (internally and externally). As is a strong balance as a foundation. High senses in the real world. Action. Flow. I think there is a next level where thoughts and co. of two meet. I was allowed to experience that. It has an energy with incredible power. I'd better not ask if anyone has experienced it, because your point is a different one.

[@MathieuDeVinois]

There is that song from Osborne “I dreamed my life away” yes my life actually happens in my fantasy. Reality is just maintaining the possibility to dream. Occasionally I escape to a real life adventure. But it’s rare and most oft the time I just go through because I force myself to give reality a chance. But reality just doesn’t like me. - gladly I never felt drawn to drugs. I can have my creativity without any stuff. Yes music helps. “Music was my first love” It’s the sound track to my dreams. And the Therapeut for my real life emotions. Getting me out of a bad mood or letting me dive into it. Whatever I think I need at the moment. My biggest fear is to loose my creativity.

[@brandoncasperson4245]

I don’t know to explain it. This guidance or just great use of communication to our world. I saved this video because I understood and mentally felt myself relaxing and slowing down. This helped me to feel reality and be comfortable in it. Thank you.

[@braxtonmills1235]

Deep message I love it :):):).

[@psychikesgefyres]

Haha the change of tone (due to clouds outside) was a perfect match

[@sunshinesunflowerz1647]

I have to tell myself that when it comes to the matters of the heart, it has to be practical with a measured dose of dreamy. As far as, Escapism it needs to be healthy, something that allows me to be creative and share the Gospel.

[@Linda-nw5xf]

Wenzes is great, as ever! And look to meditation and the quantum field, as well... Joe Dispensa is one source...

[@mokari9268]

Finally! Spot on.

[@trulymichiganaerialrandycl4873]

Thank you!

[@w13rdguy]

Yes. It can ruin your life. Chasing what you can't have (or keep) endangers what you do have. This is especially true in the case of sex and relationship. Fantasies are best kept in a locked box. You have it, you know you can use it any time you want, but you exercise restraint. Why? Because you care about more than yourself, and everything you do affects people you care about.

[@mrasposito]

Yes, There is always time change the road your on. Say yes to life's energies, plug in.

[@chirptone7901]

Wisdom. Thank you.

[@anthony-e6g]

My fantasies would absolutely sweep the Oscar’s, but as much as they are fantasies, they’re grounded in reality. And, truth be told. They’re always 1 action away from being a reality. 1 action that I know (because I have) is something that another human being could do, if they were rooted in love. As for the other person hurting me and not being on the same page as I am, with the mindset build upon growth. If there’s no other purpose that’s reared its head for me. Isn’t trying to get through to people that are unable to do it for themselves, morally built into me? And I’m humble enough to remember the times I needed others (in their various, usually unintentional ways) to show me a better path than the one I was on. And that hasn’t ended. I am not the know all, end all. If I fail to fight for the people that are trapped in the in-between, then I’m using my own willing inaction to let the world remain the poop show it is through and through. If we’re going to exist on this pedestal, we should at least attempt to fix things inside our process. If we see what they lack. What they need. How to get it done the quickest and most efficient. Maybe we need to quell our monster in putting their ego and insecurities on blast. Because, imagine we’ve asked for this fantasy to the person that we did share love with rather than the person we just ostracized. We’re causing the reason that the fantasy remains a fantasy. If I can see all those moving parts in them. Then I can adjust my approach in a means that would show that I’m open to all the mistakes and core values that they’re going to have to admit they’ve gotten wrong all this time. After the monster, no matter how much we swear (and mean) that we will accept them and love them as they are. It seems like a trap. We’ve all been wrong, plenty. And what would be worse than knowing that we are and taking the only person that knows it as well and giving them absolute power? Because as much as I swear it, and hope I mean it, if the fantasy came true. I am sure I would judge. subtlety. But I’d judge. How could I not after saying “here I am…SEE ME!”? Or. Or…I’ll say what no one else (that I’ve seen) will. Maybe we shouldn’t be involved with people at that level. For all of our contradictions this is a major one. Our beef, per say (along with a lot of other likely’s) is that they’re ok with being (or feeling) superior and not wanting to grow or help perpetuate our growth and that they’re comfortable dating down. We’re doing the same by getting involved with situations that would make us, essentially them. The bad them. And it does suck that it seems the majority of people are those type of people. Love is a luxury. We’re acting desperate. If food is a similar luxury, we’re lining up for beets. I’ve never been anything besides lonely with intermittent times of disassociation because I’m focused on the other persons unwilling rebuild and rebrand. Since it seems, online, that infj’s are 93% of the population. Why aren’t we just dating in house? Imagine 2 minds looking to better those around them. It would be like playing chess with an equal by your side every step of the way. We’re constantly trying to shift grains of sand, which constantly humbles us. In a pair we could be moving mountains. I think the truth is, we’re as scared to have someone on our level or above, just like our fantasy is. We’ve never really encountered an equal (even if we treat them that way) and that’s on us. It’s our aim. We’re looking for the helpless and then starts the self sabotage and the self loathing all of existence. Rinse and repeat. Is this not the definition of insanity? We need what we are to them, to us. We need to get off of our high horse. We have the tools to play in the major leagues and we choose, over and over, to play beer league softball and wonder why no one is good enough for the major leagues. Because they’re where they belong. We are not. We’re just there to be condescending. “Look at what we can do when no one is keeping score”. We need, collectively, to evolve. You all go first. I’ll be right behind. 😮😂😂 For our fantasies…we’re asking snakes (sometimes quite literally) to juggle. They just cannot. They are ill equipped to do so. And we’re not only asking. We’re kind of dictating and demanding. Anything less would be (as seen by them) unacceptable. Why would they believe we’d accept less the once they see all we’ve been doing the entire time, almost without any tangible effort? We’re asking them to go from king/queen to jester or worse. And we’re asking them to sign up for that indefinitely. It’s only ever been the most masterful form of passive aggression ever. It’s simply to establish, and own (only us and only forever) complete control over everything involved with said person. We are doing all that we do. ALL. To establish and remain in control of everything at all times because that is where we feel safe. Without that we do not feel safe. If you replace us, in this sentence, with the fantasy, we’re doing exactly the same thing. We are just yelling how we’re righteous. It’s similar to when a narcissist calls you a narcissist before you can. WE ARE ACTING AND BEHAVING IN WAYS THAT ARE ONLY EQUAL. NOT BETTER. The righteousness is only self proclaimed as a means of justification. We need to get right with Jesus! (Ok, maybe not that 😂😂). If there is a divide between 2 parties and 1 is incapable of change it is on the other one to change. We are not changing and then we’re being butt hurt over and over. Maybe…maybe…we’re also incapable of doing anything other than what is our status quo. Maybe instead of some super being, we’re just as much of a dumpster fire as everyone else. Our dumpster may be on ski’s instead of wheels, but still a dumpster fire all the same. We’ve just formed a community of people that will agree that we’re just and we’re the way. I’m stumped. I’m having trouble remembering an instance in history where that rhetoric was used to commit the most inhumane atrocities ever. Y’all start suggesting uniforms and I’m the f out! 😮😂😂

[@maximinoblas1171]

Good evening 🎉

[@flynneart1111]

Not doing but knowing

[@Paris-gl1pm]

I'm imagining the same people who have hacked my phone, are literally stalking every aspect of my life, working with and bartering with you tubers like yourself to make videos so I can see them. 😂. This is HORENDOUS.

[@Joohee4]

I’ve recently had this epiphany when I realized I can’t function without escaping into a LOFI video fantasy. It’s sad. Y best escapism fantasy is being I. The (new) Aladdin movie- aesthetically. I know, not healthy. This video was helpful, as usual❤

[@cassie668]

lol so does reality, at least the fantasy has some sort of hope for a happy ending. I’m gonna stick with the fantasy thanks 😂

[@sweswarupini9732]

True

[@NeonSloaney]

Yeah I proved everyone was wrong about me and they put new assumptions on me LOL was fun but I'm not gonna do that again.

[@luismiguel69able]

What do you do when you reach the point of diminishing returns with productive action? aka avoiding pulling on sprouts to make them grow stronger ...

[@TexasMadeAprilRenee]

EVERYTHING DESERVE BALANCE. ❤NOTHING IS GOOD OR BAD PERSAY..IT'S HEALTHY & UNHEALTHY. THANK YOU FOR YOUR VIDEOS WITH HAVE BEEN IN THERAPY.

[@Paris-gl1pm]

The funny part is the people who are stalking me probably paid for this ad. SMH 😂

[@naamanpratt]

💫

[@UnbreakableGhost]

Its all good! I haven't felt this happy before so whatever. There could be some fat cop tricking me.

[@Paris-gl1pm]

You are all imagining I care (sponsor of this video); LEAVE ME ALONE WEIRDO

[@Paris-gl1pm]

Making me appear crazy is the goal. Bet I'll keep ignoring them. You're a puppet. 😂

[@cherylberk4593]

What are you talking about? I am a femake sigma INFJ. I have know this for decades as I was professionally evaluated bcs my career demanded a certain paersonality type. That type required a rare mix of creativity, self confidence, and principles. I have never taken drugs, booze, smoked or been mired in self delusion. You know these qualities are rare, so findng out who I am and why I am not like everyone else was great! You have lost the plot! I just unsubscribed.

[@MisterSubtleMasterSean]

One of the very BEST and most insightful videos EVER on THIS Channel. 🎉❤️🗝️🎊🔥🫡🌟👍🙌🤝✨💯

[@annsjoholm7310]

Thank you!

[@ellarataj6590]

💚