What A Healthy Enneagram 4 Looks Like

A wonderful discussion with some great type 4s about what a healthy 4 looks like. Facilitated by Master Coach and Enneagram teacher Hayden Lee.
#ennea4 #enneagram #mastercoach #coaching #lifecoach

[@Mamiirouge]

As a four, when I feel envy the best way to counteract the mood is to move into gratitude and to remember how lucky you are already, and how much you have to be grateful for. Being appreciative of others makes the heaviness of feeling what you don’t have not as strong.

[@tamararainbowtarabarhar304]

I enjoyed so much! Very brilliant insights from this group. I hope you do more groups like this! I was in tears because I felt so grateful for this deep sharing. I am adding this to my favorite videos. I sent this to our daughter who is also a 4. She is 18. This is wonderful information for her. I don’t know if she will listen to it, she is resistant to what I send her.

[@hannahconda235]

Thank you i think this is what we as 4's need! Support, knowledge, rolemodels to know how to heal. Very helpful

[@CuddleClaw.]

Enjoyable interview. Relatable. When I feel triggered I don’t feel healthy in those moments, but I’m able to get through it quickly, like one of you mentioned. Yay, I’m a healthy 4 too. We really are courageous. We are amazing creatures. Love to us all. ❤️

[@haydenleecoaching7213]

Thank you for your thoughtful comments. Yay! And yes, 4s are amazing creatures and I honor you and all of the panelists for courageously sharing yourself with the world. 🤗

[@amberpayne7917]

Loved the advice to welcome, cradle, and love the wounded child in us. I have also been unable to have babies.

[@desertboot9755]

I love the cool and calm energy of the four.

[@tetramegistus]

this is a clear red flag that there are a lot of 9s in this video, not 4s. 9s feel a lot of conflict and emotion within, but they put their energy toward soothing those storms, so they appear calm and cool. 4s are a reactive type, a frustration type, and an image type, put those together and you get someone who shows their frustration and reactivity/negativity in their image. just like 3s are competency types and assertive types and image types and attachment types, you see their competence and value (their 'sales pitch for attaching') in their image.

[@whenyousmileismiletoo5419]

i have yet to see a calm 4

[@tangerinesarebetterthanora7060]

​@@whenyousmileismiletoo5419 johnny depp

[@tangerinesarebetterthanora7060]

Only sp 4 could be considered "calm"

[@LJLydia]

@@tetramegistus facts

[@Authenticallymario]

Beautiful 4's! The way we process the world is beautiful! ❤

[@ismaelmarksteiner]

Thank you, friends. That was very healing to listen to. :)

[@JonasAnandaKristiansson]

Sooo good and.. authentic! :D

[@tetramegistus]

Enneagram is about BOTH motivation and behavior, because behavior stems from motivations. Three of these exemplars are very likely 9s, and one seems to be a type 3 with a 4 wing. 9s consistently confuse themselves with being 4s because they identify with being somewhat sad, creative, and emotional. However, unlike 4s, 9s try to smooth these out for others sake - if they express their inner conflicts too much the fear is they will overwhelm others. 4s are reactive frustration image types, and thus they express are their negativity and amp up their negative emotions. What often happens is that 9s that think they're 4s believe they have 'transcended' that negativity in some way, when what they're really doing is just numbing out further. 9s identify with the 4 virtue of equanimity without knowing what it means on a deep level, while totally giving up on the 9 virtue of 'action' or engagement, meaning engaging with their actual reactions and impressions, honoring them and making choices based on them. One of the big problems of language within the Enneagram is this word "healthy". Health, from the point of view of Don Riso's Levels of Development, is exceedingly rare, to the point where you may not even meet someone genuinely healthy (at level 3 or above) your whole life. this is because it represents a certain degree of ego-transparency and non-identification that simply does not happen without years and years of intensive inner work. Health, therefore, is NOT transcending or 'getting over' some facets of the personality, it's seeing the personally even more fully. So the 4 never stops being frustratedly negative - they in fact see how deeply that colors their entire experience, and see it so deeply and how automatic it is that there comes to be inner space, there's a non identification with it. they can have some freedom in acquiescing to these patterns or not. But they never stop experiencing them nor 'looking like a 4'. So 4 is an image type - it's apparent there's only one image type in this panel. and the 4s image is not of being inspiring or whatever, it's of being separate, unique, one who sees more deeply, etc.

[@misterlaslo]

i'm a super grateful 4 to hear all of your perspectives, such good reminders to flip the coin and look at the shiny side sometimes! haha

[@freyashipley6556]

I'm only partway through, but I have to pipe up and say that envy is definitely a great path toward inspiration and motivation. My 4ish envy is the dark side of an intense idealism, a vivid awareness of what **could** be (in contrast to what is). I still feel that my vision of life would have been great (intense, creative, connected, adventurous...) if only I could have bent the universe to my will.

[@hardknocksph.d2175]

Starts at 3:53

[@katiakatiakat]

Taking a little poll… As an Enneagram 4, What is your Moon sign in astrology?? Feel free to add your wing and subtype also! :) Thank you 🙏🏽

[@Mamiirouge]

I’m a cancer moon

[@windrock]

Virgo moon

[@Motherascending]

Cancer moon here!

[@aquarius1986]

4w5 SP/SX // Aquarius Sun, Libra Moon, Pisces AC

[@Faeriefungus]

I’m a very very unhealthy four and feel lost to fix

[@MeliMeli66]

Give yourself time. Also keep reading and educating yourself so that you can become more self aware.

[@BriloD12]

Accept everything - how you feel, how you don't, how others seem, what they say and don't say - your feelings won't change immediately (if at all) about any of these things, but you will instead start to feel them directly. Don't let a voice in your head run the show. I think that's the starting point. You got this 🙏

[@tetramegistus]

i promise that absolutely no one in this video is actually a 4.

[@CuddleClaw.]

What makes you think that

[@Bxmgames]

I'm subscribed to Boonie's youtube and she is for a FACT an enneagram 4

[@BoontarikaSripom]

@@Bxmgames Aww, thank you

[@tetramegistus]

@@Bxmgames she's a clear 9

[@Bxmgames]

@@tetramegistus 4s and 9s have many similarities so I can see how you came to that conclusion. Unfortunately you are incorrect in this case