What Are Secondary Emotions?

Secondary emotions are the emotional responses we have as a result of another emotion. They occur because we have judgements or beliefs about certain emotions and what’s okay or not okay to feel. For example, if we feel worried or anxious about something, but are embarrassed or ashamed that we feel that way, our primary emotions would be worried or anxious and our secondary emotions would be shame or embarrassment. Secondary emotions can be protective, we may not feel safe showing how sad or upset we are so we act out in anger to push people away and ensure we don’t feel too vulnerable. Just for clarity, in this example, sadness would be our primary emotion and anger would be secondary. But you can see how presenting with a more aggressive emotion can protect us from having our true feelings of hurt or upset exposed.
I'm Kati Morton, a licensed therapist making Mental Health videos!
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[@klovercoveredkleo2013]

perks of having notifs on 🥰 also, ive never heard of this so ‘tis ought to be hella interesting! update: i realize how secondary emotions are kind of (my) defense mechanism, especially since i have social anxiety and worry that if i have a certain reaction to certain people, i come across as unlikeable.

[@Katimorton]

Awe yay for notifications!!! And I hope some of the tips I offered were helpful :) xoxo

[@sarahglass6841]

That is incredibly insighful! Very wise also. What is awesome about noticing secondary emotions that I have noticed, is it's kind of like noticing old 'versions' of ourselves, that might not help us grow anymore, and seeing through the secondary emotion is like seeing that "new" version. Which feels great in it's own way.

[@barbarabascom5289]

@@Katimorton all information can be good 2#?¿?#

[@barbarabascom5289]

@@sarahglass6841ok, somebody's else points of view#!# I personally never really c that either, "Sometimes#?#?¿?#

[@barbarabascom5289]

@@Katimorton yes of course Kati#!# TY#!# for real 2#!#

[@DrJonTam]

Great points. In linguistics, it necessary for people to gain awareness by deepening their vocabulary on emotions so they can make connections between the secondary and primary emotions. That’s also why learning another language gives you another dimension of emotions to categorize.

[@DrJonTam]

Adam Brandford time to check your primary and secondary emotions

[@Impaled_Onion-thatsmine]

@@DrJonTam its growing haha it means I need to smoke more I'm affective so they aren't really mine

[@madao7865]

Never thought a therapist would tell me to go cry in the shower.

[@lindsayjohnson4163]

Therapist like when we cry

[@Ruslan.88266]

Oh how I wish I could cry, but just can't. I don't know if the autism is part of it or what?

[@lindsayjohnson4163]

James Heitmann same I don’t cry at all

[@lindsayjohnson4163]

Carly S I know but as a kid crying wasn’t safe. It just lead to further abuse. So I learned not to cry. Now as I’m processing trauma I have become so numb to it that I physically can’t cry!

[@cloudnine5459]

@@lindsayjohnson4163 awe, really sorry about that Lindsay :c Even tho we don't know each other, I hope you can heal from your tramua ❤️

[@hpcriticall8108]

Okay, something that I found strangely helpful, the movie Inside out. It had legit psychological research built into it. The emotions in the movie, display how they work and how they have secondary emotions as well. How Happy can be sad, now Disgust can be fearful, how Anger can be happy. Watch it with a mindset of feeling how they work and you may see a few keys to helping yourself out.

[@_just_TK]

YES!!! Love that movie!!

[@92RKID]

HpCriticAll, Inside Out actually makes plenty of sense now that you put it that way. Thanks. And probably explains one feeling I keep stuffed down and pile all of the rest of my primary and secondary emotions on top.

[@hpcriticall8108]

@@92RKID Am absolutely ecstatic that my comment helped. -bows-

[@xfortunesquex]

This explains a lot of why I've been so irritable lately. I'm clashing with my parents on the seriousness of the pandemic (I am super, super serious about safety). I think I'm letting my fear and disappointment turn into anger.

[@ashley-8612]

There’s a saying for weight loss (and the role emotional eating plays in gaining weight): “Is it what you’re eating or what’s eating you?”. When you mentioned things those stuffed down emotions can lead to, it made me think of that.

[@ccpperrett7522]

So true. Eating releases dopamine which helps temporarily to cover the primary emotions, but it doesn't last. Same for drugs and alcohol.

[@sarahdee7776]

Literally just talked about this in therapy today having to do with the amount of anger I carry inside of me and exactly what’s underneath it. Come home, open KZbin & this is the first video that pops up. Coincidence? I think not. Thanks, Kati 💓

[@adrianaavila8853]

💕 ❤️ thanks for sharing. I think I may hold a lot of anger inside of me too. I like the way you phrased your comment.

[@dezyluvbug]

Self work is hard and uncomfortable but it is totally worth it! I am at peace and so happy that I can process life in a healthy way. Be kind to yourself. I meditate, journal, talk it out, say positive affirmations and use the "stop" technique whenever I find myself having negative thoughts. I know I am human and every emotion is okay to have. Thank you Katie 👸💖 sending everyone positive vibes. You can do this!

[@mmfrogi]

I appreciate how you include that you have "omg" moments when exploring these topics. I often have them and I'm met with thoughts of "oh you should've known this all along"... but I'm realizing that life is a journey and I guess we're not supposed to know everything.. it's about figuring it out and taking it from there. So I'm thankful for these moments of discovery, but I'm trying to alleviate the thoughts that pretty much punish me for learning valuable new information

[@cristobal2012]

Thanks Katie, your words are always helpful. I’m a therapist (LGPC) and I’m working with a client who has complex emotional trauma, and we are trying to work on her building confidence and healing her painful memories.

[@emilygeer9213]

I love the way you wave at the end- it reminds me of a happy kid and makes me smile and go about my day a bit happier myself. Thanks for all the positive and educational content!

[@Katimorton]

Awe yay!! xoxox So glad you are enjoying the videos :)

[@lesliewit]

I often use this concept when explaining racism to people. Many times racism is based in fear, fear of a loss of resources, fear of the unknown, fear of a loss of control in your own life. A pop culture reference that I often enjoy is from the wisdom of Yoda, "Fear leads to anger anger leads to hate hate leads to suffering."

[@griffin1837]

yesss! speak on it!

[@joshuahadley776]

Makes sense but I would still contend racism largely dissipated in the 80’s at least in the U.S,

[@ccpperrett7522]

Thank you for that Leslie.

[@griffin1837]

@@joshuahadley776 no ❤

[@coconutoes]

@C Jean i am very sorry that's happening. that's the corrupt ideology that kids, even adults, are picking up nowadays. they're so woke because they believe "the oppressor can't be oppressed," which is utter bs. i hope everything gets better and these kids undergo repercussions! 🙏

[@JosePhine-zw1gy]

I'm only a minute into this video and I'm already into it because I think feeling guilty as a secondary emotion for anger is super super common

[@Littlemochicakes]

I just started my therapy journey about a month ago. It's been great so far. Your videos have been helping me tremendously as well. I'm so happy I found your channel!

[@_just_TK]

Welcome to the Community!

[@starlitelemming6929]

In addition to aiding honest communication, I believe digging beyond secondary emotions (usually anger) is extremely valuable in building self-awareness, getting beyond our self-delusions, and learning who we really are and how we actually tick. :)

[@ccpperrett7522]

Katie I appreciate this video, and I enjoyed reading the comments of the respectful viewers. I left some comments and exercised myself in identfying my emotions and refocusing my attitude. Thank you Katie and other commenters.

[@leothepuppp]

As someone with c-ptsd secondary emotions are so natural to me! and i didn't even know bout them till now! thanks for sharing this info!

[@sarahglass6841]

What is awesome about noticing secondary emotions that I have noticed, is it's kind of like noticing old 'versions' of ourselves, that might not help us grow anymore, and seeing through the secondary emotion is like seeing that "new" version. Which feels great in it's own way. It's like uncovering buried treasure haha

[@psychologyis]

It's important to remember that secondary emotions are typically a little easier to regulate. Although primary emotions are responses to stimuli, those primary emotions become stimuli to which we respond. The response to the response is the secondary emotion, and very importantly, the secondary emotion can affect the primary emotion.

[@raywood8187]

Thank you Kati. It's no wonder I stuff down emotions. When I didn't, others tried to stuff them down for me. So it's their voices I battle too when I want to express what I really feel.

[@_just_TK]

For the record, I stuffed down all my emotions BEFORE it was cool!!

[@toni2309]

Same. My family was always telling me that I was overreacting, or when I was expressing negative emotions about them I was told to "not do that and think about their feelings".

[@jaynedavis3388]

I love your PJs doc & I’m proud of you for going on camera, making your comfort a priority (instead of fearing that people on the Internet might judge you). Edit: I was being genuine but I just realised that you may just be wearing something that’s on-trend for where you live... sorry if I hurt your feelings but I’m leaving it up in case I was right the 1st time because you deserve the recognition

[@ariananicoleleon8309]

Literally just realized I’ve been living by leading and believing my secondary emotions. Especially in relationships and it made sense hearing you speak on this. I kept thinking I was angry and annoyed cuz my friend told me something but when I sat down and thought some more I realized I was actually really sad and scared. I don’t normally get like that but then I noticed I’ve been living by believing my secondary emotions by a way of protecting myself and not showing any vulnerability. Thankyou for sharing your knowledge 💜💜👏👏

[@ChelseaSeburn]

Love this topic. It's so easy to deny our primary emotions. I used to deny negative feelings because I was ashamed for not being in a better place but I've learned over time that all emotions are a gift. You have to understand sadness in order to experience things like happiness and joy. Thank you for this ♥️

[@michaelsuperstar606]

This video topic blew my mind. There is so much to think about in dealing with my true emotions.

[@lisasnoozy3749]

Aaaack no more feelings! This was a good reminder. My therapist taught me about secondary emotions a couple of years ago and this video made me realize I’ve been focusing on them again instead of facing my primary ones that are too much right now. Great video Kati!

[@VidalesJorge]

Thank You Kati, this was one of the most helpfull videos for me. One thing I notice is that self confidence is key to allowing yourself to listen to yourself and your emotions

[@amandamandamands]

Learnt about this in DBT, the other part that was cool was learning about what physical reactions are most commonly associated with the emotions. The great thing about that is that if you are angry but what your body is feeling doesn't match that then that is a clue that their might be something else going on and gives you hints as to what to look for.

[@kunstderfugue]

Holy shit Kati, I'm reading the feelings chart and I realized that I'm not someone who "doesn't usually get angry" as I thought. I didn't know sarcasm and skepticism were ways to portray anger in perhaps a more subtle way. That was very helpful!

[@milenaciaramella3524]

Kati I love you so much, you are my inspiration as a woman, I hope that growing up I will become like you 💜💜💜

[@frankscraprobot5209]

Guys! I finally got the confidence to ask my mom for help, we talked together and are now looking for a therapist. After having suicidal thoughts and plans for 5 years i'm getting help. You are strong and you a worth every cent and second you need to live a happy life, all you need to do to get started on that path is to reach out, it can be anyone (parents, friends or a person on the internet). I myself started by (over time) saying everything that was hurting so bad to a guy on the internet I found in a mental support chat, he helped me a lot. Thank you Kati for teaching me about what it was I was feeling, and telling me that asking for help is ok.

[@_just_TK]

Max YAY!!!!! So glad you’re finally able to get the help you need!!!!! ❤️

[@frankscraprobot5209]

TK, thank you. It has bin a long and painful waiting, but finally the true battle begins, i just hope i win.

[@_just_TK]

Max you got this! 👍

[@admirbarucija2018]

I didn’t realize this was called secondary emotions, I’m looking forward to hearing your insights on the topic!! ❤️

[@Katimorton]

I hope the video was helpful :) xoxo

[@admirbarucija2018]

Kati Morton :) It was, thank you so much!

[@Turtle1631991]

This is something that buddhism addresses also and I noticed myself in my meditation practice. I always called them "metaemotions" and learning to let go of them and just be depressed when I am depressed or sad or tired or angry actually helps for those feelings to pass faster an easier. I find chinese finger traps to be excellent metaphor for this. The harder we pull away, the more we get angry or frustrated with what we feel, the more we get trapped by what we feel. Letting go is a skill that can be difficult to learn but well worth it.

[@elisecode2212]

it makes sense what you said about denial of our feelings due to the belief they are somehow wrong or the inability to deal with them. and how that can lead us to stay in bad situations. for example when i thought i might be aromantic but convinced myself i was "normal" and stayed in a romantic relationship which made me very uncomfortable--i tried to attribute that to the unfamiliarity of the situation rather than my orientation. when i accepted who i am and my relationship with that person returned to friendship, i was so relieved i cried.

[@isabellabihy8631]

I couldn't agree more, Kati! I experience secondary emotions frequently. When I'm sad, tired, or hungry for example and I need to do something strenuous, I can become very furious. I scream at people that are misbehaving in my eyes, in a lesser version I grumble, releasing the anger by talking to myself in a low voice about things that momentarily stress me out, like loud folks, adults riding the bicycle on the sidewalk, and not getting off when a pedestrian approaches. It doesn't necessarily have to be me. In those moments I am more often than not lucky that I do hardly carry an umbrella. Sounds funny? No it isn't, seriously. This behavior drives others (family, friends) mad, but it is automated.

[@Leninskitchen]

Attitude+behavior = consequence I learned that in personal family development back in high school. Unfortunately? You are right. What you said is the reason why I lost a very good friend of mine who I considered like a brother to me. He felt the way you mentioned witch caused him to do things that I knew weren't okay. You don't do a live stream for two hours telling the entire world how upset I made you. You have a problem? You talk to me. But no. Our friendship wasn't worth shit ( excuse my language) after they did that. You don't take a friendship after the live stream, just to make me find out the truth about everything in the end, witch then forces me to let you go. Thank you for always giving out great tips and advice Kati 🙂

[@haton3847]

Watching your videos alone is therapeutic! Thank you for always being there for me . Thank you for validating my emotions from across the world 🌎 🇺🇸 > 🇸🇦 You deserve to be called an influencer and not the people we see on social media nowadays!

[@brendak4291]

I’ve been in therapy ten years and never knew about secondary emotions. So helpful!

[@winfreyc2010]

Thanks, Katie. I really needed to hear this right about now. Work has been stressful and lately I've found myself resorting to habitual emotional responses: depression and anger. I realize that my depression symptoms have been creeping up because I've been having trouble adjusting to both a new job and a new sleep schedule (graveyard shift is rough). I noticed I haven't been as present, haven't felt connected and have been pulling away. I spoke with this with a coworker-about how I've been feeling so angry lately, that I seem to have a lot of pent up rage. I even lost my shit while speaking with a police officer while trying to advocate for a client. I even had to have a conversation with my supervisor about it. We devised a solution (I'll call the on-call staff if/when I have to make a decision involving interaction with the local police department (they are notorious for unthinkable crimes against innocent people i.e. posing maliciously on the Elijah Wood's grave). I didn't even consider healthy coping strategies and ended up drinking over it. I sobered up, got some rest and went to work and had a good night last night and will again tonight (no drinking today, got some rest, at the expense of missing a mandatory work meeting, which I feel awful about and will have to ask my coworker to fill me in on). I really want to get back to the energetic, positive, hopeful, helpful person I was when I started this job nearly 3 weeks ago, I want to be present so I can be more helpful and effective with the clients and other professionals I have to interact with at work. I really want this job to reflect my positive attributes and strengths so I can continue to grow professionally, so I need to be more aware of how this job and what's going on in the surrounding community is affecting my mental health. No more drinking after work and sleeping until 11, hitting the snooze, then hauling ass to work feeling stressed out and on empty. Tonight, I'm going to wash my sink full of dishes, try to get some exercise, play my guitar a little (haven't touched it in 3 days) and try to get some peace (despite the hoard of very noisy children and neighbors) before I go to work. Earlier, I cried about the Elijah Wood vigil that ended in the police shooting them with pepper balls and spraying them with pepper spray. It kind of came from nowhere-I was listening to NPR and I seem to have zoned out, and the tears came. It was really grounding and validating to experience and realize I was experiencing something other than anger/rage, and that the ways I've been coping are the opposite of how I might have processed all this, had I been practicing better self care.

[@ccpperrett7522]

I can remember as a child sometimes I liked to watched a sad movie, so I could cry. I have been feeling sad and disappointed, because I haven't been able to be with my children and grandchildren as I want to be. I haven't attended church services, as I would like. I feel anxious about all the destruction in our communities and violence. I am sad that there seems to be so much focus on our differences instead of how we are alike. I bleed red just like the next person. I get scared, and I need love and to give love. I have been stopping myself and asking, "What am I thinking? Is it helpful?" Thank you for sharing. Thank you for listening. I ask God to help everyone who comes to this channel, to give us hope, joy, peace, but most of all, love.

[@haley917]

I don't know who you are or where you learned all this information, but I honestly don't think I've found a more valuable video... A MILLION thank yous :) gratitude is my primary emotion here and amazement is my secondary emotion (because I have a tendency to think nothing is ever good enough lol). Seriously, thank you

[@pmbluemoon]

I love drawing or writing poetry (stories) to get my emotions out. I got that feelings wheel and am going to print it out for some of my friends, thank you Kati! 👍😁💪

[@pam5389]

Just what I needed... Thank you because I deal with this a lot of the time. Right now I'm really struggling..

[@Katimorton]

Glad I could help!

[@oinkersboinkers7188]

Thank you for posting this. This was actually exactly what I needed right now :)

[@LewisEthridge_95]

I have that chart printed out and decorated. I carry it with me sometimes.

[@PurpleEyedFcker]

I've been watching alot of videos from you and I love them. My girlfriend has depression and while I'm not trying to be a therapist I am doing a ton of research along with prior knowledge using studies and the DSMV. I know she has expressed trust issues even though she says I haven't given any reason to distrust,she says she doesn't know how she feels ever since she started spiraling. She hurts me but I tell her I understand that isn't who she actually is but it's her depression and she says she loves me but keeps thinking she wants to be alone because she doesn't wanna hurt people.I know she has abandonment issues and issue letting toxic people go.I told her I don't mind waiting for her and we don't have to focus on the relationship right now. I told her I want her to focus on getting better and I'll be here if she needs me but she still sometimes expresses that she wants to be broken up but won't tell me to go. Recently she said "what if I still want to be alone after everything you have done and given to me I'd feel like crap and I don't want to lose you" which sometimes makes me feel like I'm just her emotional support slave but I keep my wn anxiety PTSD and depressive thoughts in check by constantly seeking help please any advice I've also told her she needs professional help and she is gonna work to get it soon her Dr appointment is on the 28th

[@AgeOfAtheer]

Thank you for this great video! I am starting to understand what caused many uncomfortable situations now...

[@ems11388]

Interesting timing! I saw my psychologist yesterday and she mentioned something I brought up was secondary emotions.

[@AlexandriaDawn190]

Kati Morton I needed this. Thank you ❤️

[@Katimorton]

Of course!! I am so glad it was helpful :) xoxo

[@tsfbulldog]

Been dealing with Hypersensitve, Panic attack and what not, for 12 years now, these videos always seem to make me emotional, like this one makes me wanna cry, but i just can't figure out why i want to cry, almost like there's a 100 reasons to cry, i quess im just accepting it, that i want to cry.

[@tompalmer5986]

I had a lot of anger when I was growing up that I could not possibly have expressed, and my emotions were terrifying to me. Because of that I have to be very careful how I express my emotions. When I express anger I usually mess up.

[@paolochua8704]

I came from Jaiden Animations, and this video actually helped and made it clearly understandable, thank you and stay safe yall

[@MissMayhem20]

Earliest I’ve ever been! Super excited for a new video!

[@Katimorton]

Woot woot!! xoxo

[@jasminefremdehake2354]

Oh I am so glad you are uploading again

[@lauragadille3384]

Love your hair straightener. I have these emotions especially anger. I'm working through this in counseling.

[@ilikaplayhopscotch]

Ya know, this would have been really damn helpful to hear in school instead literally anything else I got. Even my physics classes. Imagine getting taught how yourself works. I’m pretty sure my primary emotion right now is anger.

[@larryfritz1726]

I like your Golden Hour Clock in the background, I've only seen 1 other clock like that one! I like your talking points, good job👏👍

[@Katimorton]

Awe thanks!! It was my grandmothers.. and my mom brought it down for me a few years back :) xoxo

[@larryfritz1726]

@@Katimorton, I fix clocks, and I had the honor of trying to fix one just like it. It's a 24ct gold plate and not very thick so don't polish it too much. Does it work? The one I had didn't and spent a lot of time trying to bring it back alive but to no avail. It's a nice piece even if it doesn't work! Thanks for being YOU! 💕

[@josephsmith5522]

Hi Kati! I’ve just discovered your channel recently. And I love it. I watched your video on bipolar 2 and I had a question that I’ve never thought of before. I have bipolar 2, and most often, I feel like that I’m aware that I’m in a hypomanic or depressive episode. I find myself saying “I’m having an episode.” I feel like I can tell when something about my behavior is off. And I was wondering if this is common or even possible. Thank you!

[@_just_TK]

Welcome to the Community!!! Recognizing your mood swings is the most important part of getting bipolar under control!

[@josephsmith5522]

TK Thank you so much!

[@_maia_m]

I wonder if depression is also (or can be) a secondary emotion? Lately I've started to recognize that when I first started to get depressed I had been feeling other strong (negative) feelings and like I couldn't do anything about it (neither the situation nor the feelings), so getting depressed was sort of like giving up. Like I couldn't handle the primary feelings... If that makes sense?

[@ccpperrett7522]

That absolutely makes sense. Loss of control leads me to feeling defeated and trapped. I have started focusing on what I can control, my own attitude. I look for things for which to be thankful. My mother has alzheimer's, but she is content and still able to live in her own home. I am able to call her every day and visit her every few days. She isn't in a nursing home and her health otherwise is good. She is happy, and that makes me happy. Thank you Katie for the exercise. I am more content now.

[@bethany-b2pkfilms792]

I feel the same way

[@elisecode2212]

i did group therapy and we were supposed to do a log of events, thoughts, and multiple emotions about them, and i thought everything just made me depressed but i realized i also at times felt overwhelmed, upset, powerless, etc.

[@aimlessalix8066]

I just started binge watch all these now

[@Katimorton]

Yay!! I hope my videos are helpful :) xoxo

[@aimlessalix8066]

@@Katimorton yes I love them! actually helped me help some of my friends and family

[@snuffyscorner]

"Welcome!" read in Katie's voice it sounds better lol.

[@AbagailBreanne]

I’m going to journal about this! This will help me sort out my emotions so much. Thank you Katie!

[@iris__and_rhizomes]

I love this video! (I feel like I say that on every video of yours 😆 Oh well - It’s no less true for being frequent.😊) I use the isolation of my car a lot. I have a couple playlists on my phone. I will play angry or sad or wistful playlists and work through things as I drive. I also try to keep in mind movies that struggle with the themes I’m struggling with. If I feel sad and defeated and hopeless and like I can’t go on, I watch the Lord of the Rings trilogy. Good will triumph over evil. Or if I am dealing with controlling my anger, I watch the Twilight series. Edgar and Jacob both are able to control their destructive urges for the sake of their relationships. It’s worth it in the end. I like your list of ways to deal with these primary emotions. I’m struggling with deactivating my fight or flight response after a lifetime of having it on full blast. I’m not sure how to go about it. Does anyone have any suggestions or helpful resources? How do I learn how to relax? Have fun? Enjoy life?

[@Katimorton]

Thank you so much for sharing your tips and tools :) As for deactivating your fight/flight response, you will have to find some things that calm your system down (resources) and practice using those.. it takes time and work, but we can slowly get ourselves out of that stress response :) xoxo

[@iris__and_rhizomes]

Kati Morton Thank you Kati. 🙏🏼 I’m putting my mind to that. I’m not sure where to start. I think moving my body around helps. And maybe healthy food helps. I’ll keep trying to stay present long enough to notice what might work. 💙 And I’ll ask my therapist tomorrow. I feel like I’ve asked her before, but maybe I didn’t. Or maybe I did, but then forgot.

[@fishjj76]

971K subscribers! I'm going to congratulate you in advance for reaching 1 million subscribers. Something good to achieve in 2020...

[@brittommyv807]

Whew, just realised thanks to this how unnatural anger feels for me and how I always feel guilty and/or try to hide it - but why should I? Anger as an emotion exists to protect yourself, it occurs when someone's done you wrong, and you have to know when to stand up for yourself. Anger is a precursor to action - I always thought it led to violence, but it doesn't have to at all

[@_just_TK]

Kati has some great videos on Anger! kzbin.info/www/bejne/rXyaYomro8mKrqs kzbin.info/www/bejne/aZnMeaB_pJKkqM0 kzbin.info/www/bejne/a52kimyIp913h5I kzbin.info/www/bejne/ppOWmpxrodZjoK8 kzbin.info/www/bejne/l5eul5yOgp1qh5I

[@Katimorton]

Yay! I am so glad this was helpful!!! xoxox

[@leonmilner9994]

Amazing! My wife told me about secondary emotions but this really helped to understand it better as well!

[@heres_j0hnnyjs75]

If I had a person to talk to about my problems , I just wish there as understanding as you

[@joeyjoey392]

Thank you for sharing these interesting perspectives, aka, by including sequences into feelings. Secondary or tertiary feelings and so on, ain’t very helpful indeed, you would just start to spiral haha. Would think shame, guilt, embarrassment from feeling a certain way stem from the “fear of judgement”, and can be especially hard to manage in a group setting where there are so many people and so many minds we feel to be against

[@carly_elizabeth_diy]

My anger and resentment are taking the reins right now for me when what I am really feeling is fear and sadness.

[@aldeliealberts9387]

What an a amazing person 😍❤❤

[@eileenmurphy7982]

Your videos are so informative, clear and real. I always look forward to them. Thank u for creating them, you do a great job 👌

[@kellyann7561]

Very insightful! I’m a pro at stuffing things down. My secondary emotions always show up as shame or I will invalidate my primary emotions. Thanks for bringing attention to this important topic. Something I really need to work on.

[@jasontheconner6120]

I hate how right you are. Ungh. My old beliefs are so strong and tough to fight against and overcome.

[@miriambabota3580]

Wow, youtube really does know me. Thank you so much for this video, now I can understand better how I feel.

[@AnnieMay224]

I definitely feel like society has made it seem bad/wrong/evil to be disappointed in plans being canceled or coping mechanisms being interfered with by covid. I've slipped back into a lot of old social anxiety that I thought I'd basically outgrown after becoming an adult and being able to just go out and be around people without the pressure of interaction. Doing that regularly genuinely changed me into a social butterfly and I felt really good, but since all of this I havent gone out more than a handful of times besides work and I had the first massive panic attack in a walmart I've had in 4 years. I couldnt deal with it, my boyfriend who didnt know the version of me that has that kind of reaction really didnt know how to deal with it. I'm really scared of slipping back downhill in my ability to handle my mental issues and its making me feel very angry at the situation.

[@Leahv103]

Omg I have BPD and i've been working on this DBT workbook that has been amazing and this is the section i'm working on right now. Thanks for this video, I don't have time to watch it right now but I will have to watch it later!!

[@_just_TK]

Leah S Ck out Kati’s playlist on BPD! kzbin.info/aero/PL_loxoCVsWqy6j40ipH2yQjcK-4Uf4ri6

[@Leahv103]

@@_just_TK Thanks! I've seen a few of those but am definitely going to check out the rest! I didn't know she had a whole BPD playlist!

[@axelsantana8835]

Hello Kati, my name is esmeralda and I always watch you're videos because they make me feel better. I hope u keep doing them. My parents see that I'm always alone, have no social life, and barely communicate with most of my family. They always ask me if i need psychological help, but not in a good way. Then they call me crazy if I've been in my room for too long. I always deny it. I dont know if I should ask them for help. My parents are not very informed about mental illness and study stigmatize it a lot. They just assume everyone struggling with their mental health is crazy. My family is mexican. I've watched many videos about Avoidant Personality Disorder and I feeling I can relate to them all. I really dont want to self diagnose, but all the symptoms are there for me.and it really affects the way I socialize with people, if I do. And I jist dont want to be lonely anymore. I want to have friends and relationships and be surrounded by people who love me. I feel like if I explain the diagnosis to them, they'll think its dumb because everyone worries about being liked. So it'll make me sound selfish and self centered. Also I have been hospitalized for depression before, on my 6th grade year. But we haven't talked but it since. While i do have depressive symptoms, AVPD (what I belive i have) really affects me and and I struggle with it everyday. But I feel like they won't believe me. I dont knkw what to do. I'm 16 years old. Can you please give me some advice on how to ask them for help, after I've always denied it and argued with them about it?

[@earthchild1027]

Love this video, needed it so much right now! Thank you.

[@uknow2908]

Thanks. That's a new thing. I wonder how to turn it to a good use? For starters, if you're aware about it - it can reduce stress, self pressure. What's more is personality can be associated with SE... Anyway, for me - it's self blame and anxiety about being nervous about not having enough time.

[@brittanyglenn3227]

Your videos are getting me through this summer while I anxiously wait to go to grad school for Clinical Mental Health Counseling! 😀

[@rachelkeeler2908]

Hey, Kati, love your videos! I was wondering if you could talk about dealing with toxic parents while still living at home/being financially dependent on them. I really liked what your past videos had to say but I felt like lots of the situations couldn’t quite apply to what me (a teenager) is dealing with at home. Maybe just something about how to deal with things and keep peace, especially while stuck at home with the corona virus. Idk just would love to see it even though it is a little specific.

[@courtneyinlow4011]

It is always so strange to me to hear you talking about Shawn... only because my husband's name is also Shawn. The first time I was like "Man she really IS in my head!" lol

[@nikkidazz]

The shirt you're wearing accurately represents your personality i think- sunshine ☀️☀️☀️❤️

[@Katimorton]

Awww thanks Nikki 🤗🤗

[@elainaprevity872]

Omg I've never bee so early!! Love your videos kati they have helped me so much!! 💕💕

[@_just_TK]

Elaina Previty woot woot!

[@temperdv]

Most research has considered anger to be a primary, declarative emotion. Plutchik's Wheel of Emotions for example, which we modified slightly in the recognition that "attachment" is effectively the pole star of emotion. Dan siegel has also given a definition.

[@jonasprintzen9508]

Thank you, Kati!! Very interesting how feelings and thoughts interact. What you described is very similar to what I managed with a specific guided meditation, Deeply letting go, by Michell DuVal. I experienced a period of unwrapping layers and layers of feelings, often opposite, as I kept meditating. The guiding in that meditation is all about accepting what comes up during meditation, without having to do something about it, and trying to imagine how I would feel if that was gone! A realization that feels a bit paradoxical, I shifted perspective without getting stuck in my own reactions. Everything seems different now, I can remember/feel, sometimes not voluntary, without "cramping". But after listening to you in this video, I can reason about it! The released pressure from just a few minutes of sorting is a bit overwhelming. I remember another me listening to a song; "There are feelings that need to become words, to become feelings again". It's like finding my troubles are on my back, out of reach, then with a few new ideas and tools, they are in front of me and I can do something about it, comfortably. Listening to you share your thoughts is a true blessing!!

[@chelseacurry854]

Wooooow. This is exactly what I was looking for. Love how you explained this. I’ve been dealing with embarrassment with overreacting because some days my depression manifests in that way, and then it turns into anger and me feeling even more dumb 🤦‍♀️ so I’m sitting there defending myself for why I am not being logical all the while I could just be honest and say I’m embarrassed for overreacting due to my mental illness. Got any recommendations on how to help get rid of shame surrounding acting a certain way when you’re depressed? I struggle so much with that.

[@anneturner9805]

Thankyou so much Kati for your great advise, i enjoy every one i watch. I purchased a book 'The Emotionally Absent Mother' awesome book, i felt calmer after reading it. Would recommend it to everyone. Thanks again.

[@SusieQ78]

Piercing but great!!! I am recognizing my name ALL OVER THIS!! 😬😄

[@Katimorton]

haha!! xoxoxo

[@nikkimckay860]

Hello kati and to people in the comments I am glad of this new video from you kati honestly needed to hear this my feelings and emotions are all over the place and a mess honestly the main feeling s I feel are sadness lonely and anger my emotions most days i feel like crying i have such a horrible sicky pain in my stomach honestly i try to distract myself from my bad feelings and emotions but it's always a struggle just to watch a new video and listen is my favourite part of the day thank you

[@_just_TK]

Something user Garden Boots wrote: “Be extra kind & forgiving towards yourself. This isolation is taking a toll on all of us, one way or another. Do not give up. You do matter.”

[@NebulusVoid]

Studying Buddhism and meditation helps my anger

[@19MadMatt72]

Just went over this in class today. Used the emotional onion model. Where you peel away “layers” or secondary emotions to get to your primary emotion. *Caution* may produce tears!!! Do you have a link to that emotion wheel? That’s nice.

[@roorooadventures4771]

Thank you kati Morton. I will need to get this chart also. I have another chart under Christian emotional chart. I enjoyed your August 24 video that brought me back to this video. Thanks you rock🤙😺😀😉thanks. I wake with this in the middle of the night. Working this in the day time as you said helps me sleep at night with out waking up. 🤙👊😺😀😉🚲⛵🏖🛴🏀 have a great week!

[@Giorgos60726072]

It's like listening to my "heart" talking to me 😂❤️ thank you

[@carlosangulo11]

Great video! Thank you 🙏🏻 Unconditional love to all ❤️♾️🌌

[@santoshjoshi2695]

Reduced energy level. loss of interest in daily chores even taking a bath. very scary but a close friend and a good doctor can help overcome this state 9f affairs Do not give up.ever.

[@skylargibson2963]

I love all your videos, they make me feel more alive lmao but, thanks for everything you do!

[@minervaroman6107]

Great help. St the begining this coronavirus had given me a lot of anger

[@sam02167]

Thanks for teaching me about these! Much gratitude

[@mcar4able]

Wow this one really hit me

[@CCGR-2024]

I think I deal with a lot of secondary emotions but I don’t know what to do with them! Thanks for a great video!

[@spuneet156]

Ma'am that is quite new for me, thanks I relate