What are the 10 BPD Dos and Don'ts you need to know!

Order The Borderline Personality Disorder Workbook by Dr. Fox: goo.gl/LQEgy1
Dr. Fox’s latest (research based book): Antisocial, Narcissistic, and Borderline Personality Disorders: A New Conceptualization of Development, Reinforcement, Expression, and Treatment: www.amazon.com/Antisocial-Nar...
This video goes over common BPD Dos and Don'ts that often come up for my clients. Do you have them too? Check out the video and find out.
Dos:
1. Do make sleep a priority. Sleep routine, sleep is critical
2. Do practice pause all the time
3. Do always practice Radical Acceptance
4. Do find and support your sense of meaning and purpose
5. Do find kindness and compassion for yourself, and live it.
Don'ts:
1. Don't give in to those old, reflexive maladaptive habits.
2. Don't abuse substances - alcohol and drugs
3. Don't accept the belief that you're less than
4. Don't give in to the negative belief that you deserve to feel pain to be ok; self-punishment is a hoax.
5. Don't believe your BPD lens, it's tricky and false. Live your authentic life, this means shades of grey, not B&W (splitting)
Daniel J. Fox, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist in Texas, international speaker, and a multi-award winning author. He has been specializing in the treatment and assessment of individuals with personality disorders for over 15 years in the state and federal prison system, universities, and in private practice. His specialty areas include personality disorders, ethics, burnout prevention, and emotional intelligence.
He has published several articles in these areas and is the author of:
Antisocial, Narcissistic, and Borderline Personality Disorders: A New Conceptualization of Development, Reinforcement, Expression, and Treatment. Available at: www.drdfox.com/books
The Borderline Personality Disorder Workbook: An Integrative Program to Understand and Manage Your BPD. Available at: goo.gl/LQEgy1
Antisocial, Borderline, Narcissistic and Histrionic Workbook: Treatment Strategies for Cluster B Personality Disorders (IPBA Benjamin Franklin Gold Award Winner): goo.gl/BLRkFy
Narcissistic Personality Disorder Toolbox: 55 Practical Treatment Techniques for Clients, Their Parents & Their Children (IPBA Benjamin Franklin Silver Award Winner):: goo.gl/sZYhym
The Clinician’s Guide to Diagnosis and Treatment of Personality Disorders: goo.gl/ZAVe9v
Dr. Fox has given numerous workshops and seminars on ethics and personality disorders, personality disorders and crime, treatment solutions for treating clients along the antisocial, borderline, narcissistic, and histrionic personality spectrum, emotional intelligence, managing mental health within the prison system, and others. Dr. Fox maintains a website of various treatment interventions focused on working with and attenuating the symptomatology related to individuals along the antisocial, borderline, narcissistic, and histrionic personality spectrum (www.drdfox.com).
KZbin: / drdanielfox
Dr. Fox’s website: www.drdfox.com/
Facebook: / appliedpsychservices
Twitter: / drdanieljfox1
LinkedIn: / drdfox
Instagram: / drdfox
Amazon Author’s Page: amazon.com/author/drfox
Videos edited by Emil Christopher: [e-mail]
Thank you for your attention and I hope you enjoy my videos and find them helpful and subscribe. I always welcome topic suggestions and comments.

[@projoebiochem]

Sometime I hate KZbin ads. We're watching this, and it talks about "Don't use drugs," and then and ad interrupts advertising THC gummies! AAARRRGGHHH! I'm trying to help a friend with BPD, and Dr. Fox is giving great advice, and KZbin interrupts with the most tone deaf ad possible!

[@alymarsalys3086]

😂😂

[@manelyset5162]

Do: - Make sleep a priority. Make a night routine. - Practice pause, to help stop all the bad thoughts and behaviors, before you end up giving in. Be better to say to yourself “Stop, pause. This is not an emergency. It’s going to be okay.” Just slow down and don’t act. Just stop. When you press “pause”, then reevaluate… Where am I? What am I doing?.. Get centered and be mindful of the situation. - Do always practice radical acceptence. - Do find and support your sense of meaning and purpose - Do find kindness and compassion for yourself and live it and express it Dont: - Don’t give in to those old, reflexive habits. (Instead make other healthy strategies to evoid selfharm and other bad habits.) - Don’t abuse alcohol and drugs - Don’t accept the belief that you’re less than. - Don’t give in to the negative belief that you deserve to feel pain to be okay. Self-punishment a hoax - don’t believe your BPD lens. It’s tricky and false. Live your life. This means, life is shades of grey and not just black and white.

[@43CYN]

Oh this is actually useful. I appreciate it ❤

[@brandongauger4050]

Thank you ❤

[@Khushi-cv1hd]

Thanks a lot ❤

[@ganna_hatem]

Thank you

[@Shannon_Robbie]

Dr. Fox has it all listed under the video. Just click "more".

[@mandyjames8211]

You have a beautiful energy that is unbelievably healing. You demonstrate constantly exactly how to see those with BPD. It's a course for all of us in support. I realise now how I've enabled things to escalate through my own lack of presence, invariably invalidating my bpd friend through frustration of not having understood what was happening for her.

[@religiohominilupus5259]

A good therapist would ask for permission to obtain previous medical records though, and it would show up anyway.. If the request is denied by the client, the therapist may not want to take the client on. I think it's better to be upfront. A good therapist will take your concerns into consideration and if their opinion differs, they'd provide an explanation.

[@user-jb8rx6bf3h]

Sweet. Good stuff

[@KatJ3st]

Well said. I am coming to this realization myself now.

[@fentayesisay8920]

Noted best

[@lornahuddleston1453]

🎉Yay! You are the First person I have ever heard show insight into their enabling and escalating and devaluing a pwBPD in the middle of what feels like death and total loss of everything, and the feeling of being dispised and spit out of the entire human race as worthless garbage! It would really be great if more people without BPD learned some basic things in order to stop being part of the meltdown. Kudos👍🥳

[@Nat-hu4gq]

Your work book and DBT has helped a lot alongside psychiatrics check ups. I am awful at a sleep routine, I still need to work on this. Hi my BPD friends, I love you all 💖

[@coryoneil5064]

I have the workbook and I'm trying to get into DBT, but like you, my sleep schedule is terrible. When I'm anxious I can't sleep.

[@GEENIAH3]

I love you 💕

[@religiohominilupus5259]

@@coryoneil5064 Have you tried listening to music or an audiobook, or reading a book in bed (Dr. F. mentioned the latter too)? These options carry the potential to shift your focus away from your anxiety and soothe you. Especially with audiobooks, you have to listen closelly to be able to follow the story, and the narrator's voice can have a calming--sometimes slightly monotone--effect that'll help you drift off.

[@thereader9473]

and hi to you! 🧡

[@thereader9473]

@@religiohominilupus5259 audiobooks are the perfect sleeping pills !!!

[@edensiou]

I have untreated bpd and ur videos never failed to make me feel good

[@music2obscureyou330]

Get the workbook AND DO THE WORK!

[@augiemay8677]

Thank you so much Dr. Fox. I'm an adult who can barley financially get by and sure as hell can't afford therapy. You're videos and worksheets have helped me out SO MUCH!! I am eternally grateful to you. 🙏🙏 The work is never done, but the change of me from a few years ago to now is amazing. A long way to go but never thought I'd be here. 💜🙏💜

[@1TigerJo]

That's so wonderful! I need to get the workbook so I can help my partner.

[@PaulSmith-bx2fq]

Stay strong

[@laylaluna2376]

“The first one is you want to make sleep a priority” *me watching this at 4:00 am* 🤫🥴😬😬 working on it!! Hehe Thank you so much once again for being the most understanding and knowledgeable person on this topic. Thank you for the much needed reminders. 🧡 we love you dr fox 🦊

[@johnnyrepine937]

That's me most of the time, but I was actually listening to this one at work.

[@Everyloveee]

Lol same sis ! We’re going to get on task moving forward 🤣 wishing you all the best

[@karajamieson9574]

Yep😂 same

[@alymarsalys3086]

Yup​.

[@darkwatergeekette]

I think this 25 min video did for me what the last 5 years in therapy failed to do. Simple and beautifully explained! I especially loved the cat comparison, it was on point!

[@SophiaWafa-kv8kr]

Maybe you have a therapist who is not suited for you. I’ve had 3 therapists in 3 years. Just don’t give up

[@user-qx2kh7fp4p]

Dude…. I’m not full on BPD… I’ve been sort of categorized as a quiet BPD but not quite fully diagnosed because my therapist is still trying to figure me out as am I lol but I just wanted to let you know that I resonate with a lot of your videos and I appreciate what you do on KZbin especially for the people that can’t afford therapy or the people that just want to reinforce what they’re already learning… You’re amazing… I’ll probably post this on more than one video to try to make sure you see it lol… Thank you again and have a good day

[@olyo5483]

You are a person with bpd, not bpd itself! Bpd is curable, it's a part of you, not you. 🧡

[@patriciastewart2537]

Pause, restraint. I went to a meeting on my road today. My main goal was to NOT do any maladaptive aggressive thoughts, words or deeds today. I did a good job. Got through the yoga class attended also by a couple of people I had previously alienated with the characteristic aggressive snark. Kept PAUSING, being restrained. I was conscious of having had a bit too much COFFEE , but , not the worst toxic, mind altering substance. I did my best, paid full price, and got hugs. Left when it was done. Not a lingerer....

[@lorainewilliams4671]

I hope you've been practicing your pause and reaping the rewards of restraint.💯

[@ANRAB666]

This is what we BPDs need. Solution to our problem not listening about our bad traits all the time. Thank you for being such a nice therapist.❤

[@ZoeMagnes]

I could imagine a virtual reality game where we could practice the do's and don'ts, to work out any obstacles or confusions so we could seek out more learning resources as needed. In the game, we could practice pausing and learn to recognize whenever we have automatically started down the road toward a don't, so we can turn back in the direction of a do.

[@gabbyacuna2769]

So true about sleep!! Seriously I can’t function at all with little sleep. It really messes you up. I have made it a huge priority and habit! Thanks for this video 💯💯💯💯

[@andyreyerson8421]

Thank you so much! I'm 35 and after years of terrible struggling and suffering, therapy, hospitalization, medications, addictions, etc... Finally I found (on my own) that I have BPD. Your content has been life changing, and I can't thank you enough. I've watched this one over and over to memorize and make it habitual.

[@jennifermaxine2453]

Most people I'm around I'm very empathetic & kind to...its the Narcissist that kept me in that black & white thinking...I've started to learn being comfortable in my own skin. Now I stick up for myself against bullies & I dont stoop to their level anymore. No more people pleasing a narcissist, nor do I have high expectations from entitled people like that, who will only disappoint & betray, and repeat old cycles.

[@grassgeese3916]

I really love how gently you offer your advice. So much free advice regarding BPD, and other personality disorders, online is so .. hateful... so clinical... you feel like a human, who genuinely seeks to give people advice for how to be more in control of their lives. Thank you for being a human, not another clinician. I've been in medical facilities and institutions for my issues before and while I was certainly a wild child, I did not need the clinician treatment... I needed guidance and well it's late but I'm glad to have found some guidance :) thank u again, I've watched a few of your videos now

[@theeternallowlyoutcastrn]

This is so true

[@jnavy1999]

I dated a woman w BPD and it was heart wrenching and exhausting, never been so addicted to a person yet so emotionally beaten down.

[@lynnmalin]

I showed this message to my boyfriend and it makes me cry, but it is so true. I know how difficult I make his life, I'm really try to change. Childhood trauma caused my bpd. I need him to have facts like this so that he can see that our relationship is not a normal one. He is the kindest man, I love him so much and I hate that I hurt him. He deserves a Peaceful and contented life. Thank you for sharing this message with us.

[@jnavy1999]

@@lynnmalin I had forgotten about this post, I kept trying and it like growing closer apart, I was supposed to finally meet her parents we picked out flights then she broke up the week before after 4 days of great connection, push pull every day, I really don't know if she loved me or did I just meet an emotional need, just sad, I want to hate her but I just don't

[@SophiaWafa-kv8kr]

We got this Lynn! I’m newly diagnosed and in a loving relationship for over 4 years(my longest! Also, they are not abusive) He loves me therefore he is more than willing to work w me through this. This is a lifelong process I’ve learned. I’ve been through SO MUCH in my life! So much family abuse, sexual family abuse ALL the types of abuse I’ve experienced w family. EXTREME physical abuse in relationships with a few men in my adult life. Short lived but they were so traumatizing! I am finally in a safe space w a loving accepting calm man. I am doing everything in my power not to destroy the best thing I’ve ever had. We got this!!!!!!!!!

[@MikeJackson690]

​@@jnavy1999 That sounds exactly like my experience. I was with my ex-GF for 7 months, and ahead of every occasion (my birthday, NYE, Christmas, trip away) something would ALWAYS come up out of the blue. She'd either insult me or create some kind of problem, such as me doing something "wrong". I treated her the very best I could with understanding, empathy, sympathy, love, kindness, patience and forgiveness (over and over again to the detriment of my mental and emotional health). By the end, when she flipped on a night out and abandoned me the next day, I was shaken, exhausted and miserable yet I still wanted her. I miss her good side now. It's so sad that her life will repeat this cycle with whoever's next. I'd love nothing more than for her to get help so she can have a brighter future. In the meantime, people like you and I have to pick ourselves up and hope there's someone better for us out there. All the best to you 😌

[@andreal.tribble2042]

Dr. Fox you are helping me SO MUCH! I can't thank you enough for these videos. I'm ordering your work book. You understand this personality disorder like nobody else I have ever heard. I'm crying writing this. I have said for years that HOPE is a luxury I can't afford. But because of things you are teaching me about myself, I now HAVE HOPE.

[@DrDanielFox]

Thanks for such a wonderful statement. This really motivates me to keep doing what I’m doing and I’m so glad my material is helpful for you. Be well and stay strong.

[@susanchmelovsky221]

Dr. Fox is the very best!!!

[@theeternallowlyoutcastrn]

This made my throat choak up a bit

[@cherrycreeper]

Sometimes I forget why the surface stuff happens I just do it and I feel disappointed in myself. But remembering that there's a reason, that it relates to the core content helps me work through it. Great video as usual ✨

[@katariina7697]

This is a really important point, I have to keep this in mind as well.

[@goldahashemzukhn-viren8523]

Seven year old boy curious of why folks do things they do...your clients are blessed!

[@jjsmama401]

You’re right. I think a lot of us get stuck in our minds as “less than” forever and take on mail-adaptive patterns, and never move forward from that. That’s where we need help!

[@theeternallowlyoutcastrn]

I love all the comments! Everyone is such a warrior here!

[@SophiaWafa-kv8kr]

HELL YEAH!!!! Let’s do this!!!!

[@bevanbuckwheatshea5520]

Sleep, exercise, get outdoors. Eat good healthy foods. No drugs or smoking or alcohol. Stay away from negative people.

[@TheDya99]

I know I've made so much progress since last year just because of how much of this video I can relate to now. I wouldn't be able to say that I live this way a year ago. BPD is truly manageable and there is a light out of the darkness for people with this disorder. Now I'm at the other end of the tunnel I truly believe this. Thanks for your insights Dr. they have helped me a lot! Been watching your videos for over a year now.

[@lorrenab-beat527]

Dr. Fox, I found your channel when I was looking for information on narcissist. I was diagnosed as bipolar disorder II almost 20 years ago. After watching a lot of your videos on BPD, I think I haven't gotten to a better potential because I've been being treated for the wrong disorder. I was doing so well, and then a bunch of emotional stress and health issues and feeling less than after I got out of a narcissistic relationship happened and my old thoughts and behaviors and patterns came back. Acceptance is very difficult for me. I ruminate too much on the past with so much hurt being stirred up each time wishing should've, would've, could've. Instead of learning from my mistakes, I focus more on how crappy they made me feel and isolate even more and more. Even my psychiatrist told me he was worried añd referred me to partial hospitalization. I viewed his last notes of my visit and he "suspects a personality disorder". I just want to grow.

[@ZoeMagnes]

I was diagnosed with BPD in 1995, but at the time there wasn't any treatment so I just decided to ignore it. Around 2015 I was diagnosed with "rapid-cycling" bipolar disorder, yet multiple psychiatrists failed to reassess the diagnosis. I was given 5 different mood medications simultaneously. Didn't really help and had several side effects. It wasn't until 2022 when my father died and I started researching narcissism on KZbin that the algorithm showed me videos on BPD. Within the first couple videos, I realized that I really do have BPD after all. I've read 3/4 of the DBT manual. I read Dr. Fox's book, which fleshes it out more. I would still like to understand more about how my biological temperament, environmental and socio-economic conditions, my father's narcissistic traits or undiagnosed NPD, my mother's likely but undiagnosed autism, my neurodiversity, etc., has combined to create one or more "demons" in my head that whisper harmful suggestions in my ear at the worst times.

[@amynaddra7230]

Thank you for the incredibly, informative video. I took notes so I can use the do’s and donts. Great plan to put into my life especially the pause button. I love the advice on accepting my history. Looking at your celebration plate got me thinking how I never had a childhood birthday party. So I decided today I’m going to plan one and have my daughters come who are grown. I want cake and kids wrapping paper and Hello Kitty plates. I’m working hard at abstaining from alcohol because it’s been such a long, bad habit. And to not say extreme black or white statements. I caught myself this week saying “No one cares about me” which in reality is not true. That darn BPD lens. God bless!!

[@matthewsmith218]

Thanks for the free therapy. I keep falling back into the abyss but then I watch another video. Top content creator 👏 DrFox🦊

[@DrDanielFox]

I am so glad that the videos help you pull out of those downward spiral’s. I wish you all the best.

[@robotempire]

I started working with a friend of mine recently. And to my horror I’m discovering that, during code review, if he rejects my code, it triggers my fear-of-abandonment reaction. I’ve spent all day today recovering from this. It’s painful and humiliating.

[@loum73]

I'm letting go of all the pain today

[@elmustapha111]

Very powerful belief or thought you mentioned is that the moment of now shapes the future. So being conscious of that fact helps a lot. Thank you.

[@ladybaabaa3294]

Yes! It's the fact that a temporary feeling / thought can have permanent consequences.

[@aliway7037]

We can’t understand or control our emotions so we oversimplify them in an attempt to process what’s going on. We never learned that things weren’t actually the end of the world. When we cried as children we were neglected and never embraced. We weren’t reassured or talked through emotions. We have a false sense that we are great communicators when in reality we don’t know the first thing about emotions or how to communicate them. I was constantly searching to find someone who will embrace me through tough moments and never got it, but the problem is that it leaked into my adulthood. Now when things happen I go back to how I would react as a child. Begging, crying, pleading. Always getting an indifferent response. Leading to me feeling validated in my fear of abandonment, creating more intense situations. I can’t control how other people view my episodes because they will never understand the intensity of my emotions. I feel people are stuck in a huge bubble and I am outside watching. I don’t understand how real human emotion should work and don’t understand the thought processes of normal people, which makes me feel more uncertain about my place in their lives.

[@sandorclegane3658]

Haven't finished watching but wanted to say that I've started keeping my headphones on as much as possible. Motivational music etc. Keeps me moving, keeps my mind occupied (not quite 100% Of the time). It is especially important to have music in the mornings for me. But obviously I don't always do what I should.

[@BetteBlaze13]

I wear my bluetooth headphones about 23 hours a day. Not lying. I like to joke that they are "my sanity", but ppl have no idea how much truth is in that statement. Music helps tremendously with keeping my moods positive, keeping my emotions less intense, and keeping my impulses in check. (Plus, they are great noise-blockers for when "I just can't deal".) 😎 (let's) Be well.

[@andraandre3777]

Really helpful video for us doing self therapy, who cannot afford therapy with mental health experts, thanks sooo much! I really appreciate you putting this work out there for us.

[@moanamason2454]

Thank you Dr Fox. You are appreciated.

[@user-rl6vh2ev4t]

I need help, but I'm extremely hard to work with. I got labeled as bi polar as a kid and therapy didn't help and meds react differently for me. No health insurance, so these videos are all I got. Thank you and God bless you ❤

[@paulineclothier6776]

You are SO gorgeous! I love the "Oh- I am a psychologist". That smile- that dimple.

[@mystrose333]

I heard you about the substance abuse. I've tried to think about my purpose in life or what my driving force is. There is no thought that comes and it's so frustrating. I have no idea who I am, but I'm everyone to whoever needs me. I don't even know if that makes sense lol. Thanks for giving me this list, I'm going to try and apply it.

[@BetteBlaze13]

I hear you.

[@ZoeMagnes]

Little by little, I am learning to enjoy spending time by myself. The easiest way is walking outdoors, especially in nature. I've also been practicing meditating with a recording of ocean waves. When I get ideas, instead of telling someone else or posting it on social media, I write down my thoughts on my phone. It takes time by myself to get a sense of what my actual opinions and preferences are, without being influenced by another person or society at large. And I'm reading a lot of nonfiction books about the history of our society, how we got to this moment of crisis, and how we might help others deal with this difficult moment. My sense of purpose has to do with saving the world. But in order to do that, first I have to get in touch with my wisest self. It's been extremely difficult to do that due to the BPD lens that skews everything I observe, both inside myself and in the behavior of others around me.

[@lyoregon7730]

My bf makes BPD very extreme. He makes me feel very horrible that I have BPD. Now everything he sees I'm doing is BPD. I dnt want to lose the relationship with him. Besides some sad moments, we had a lot of good memories. I dnt know how to save the rely with him. This video makes me feel good about myself

[@sephiroth1234]

Is he a narcissist?

[@WhitePelicansareReal]

I found this extremely helpful! I now have a short list of things to contemplate, especially #4 DO understand I actually do have a meaning and purpose and “Radically Accept it”. I thought I didn’t have a meaning or purpose, but something clicked the way you said it. I actually do have that. I loved this longer message, and when you smile during your video’s I find myself smiling back 😊❤. Thank for this video, it also made me realize I am doing more things better with my BPD; especially the Pause.

[@Ariana-zr2cr]

I have a super hard time with #2 😢 I’m finally going to be seeing a therapist for BPD so I’m excited:)

[@erniemitch9922]

Me too!! I'm headed there Thursday after a long fight to be referred

[@erniemitch9922]

I wish you the best of luck!

[@marwamustafa952]

I started therapy 5 months ago and I learned some new techniques to control my impulsivity, rage and anger believe me you gonna control your life just start I started at 34 years old I wish you all the best, Bpd from Egypt

[@Ariana-zr2cr]

@Ernie Mitch Thank you s f good luck to you too:)

[@Ariana-zr2cr]

@Marwa Nour That’s amazing!

[@manalibhowmick8150]

Thank you doc for all your videos. They are extremely helpful. Could you please make a video on techniques for holding jobs with a BPD? I have been diagnosed with BPD with a comorbid bipolar disorder almost two years back. Have been seeing a doctor since then but sometimes it feels like my BPD is not getting any better. It's hard to hold down a job with all this. There are times when I feel very productive but if things go south, I become completely numb and dumb. Mental breakdowns always hit me physically. Most of the time I get bedridden and almost dysfunctional. I stop communicating with everyone including my colleagues. I don't know how to communicate with them. It's hard for me to make them understand. I can't overcome the BPD that is in my head. I procrastinate which leads to fear, anxiety and more depression. I feel like I have been running around in this circle since forever. Whenever I think about this, I end up having a crying fit and getting sick( which is almost everyday and the circle continues). It'll be very helpful if you cover this topic in your videos. Though I have a psychiatrist of my own but I have to admit the fact that if not for your videos, I wouldn't have survived the last pandemic. I was stuck at home, alone, for nine months. Your videos saved me. Thanks again!

[@grtormand3]

If people with BPD could "just pause" we wouldn't be watching these videos for help. Telling someone what to do is easy and unhelpful, HOW to do this would be priceless!

[@sunitalymon1925]

"Oh my God! oh my God! oh my God!!!" this made me laugh so much because it's so accurate.

[@lornahuddleston1453]

Thanks Doc, I needed that! How utterly refreshing to not be ripped a new one for having BPD. I have a master's degree in clinical psychology. I suspected Borderline explained a lot about my tumultuous and delicate life. That was in the 1980s. If you brought it up, you were persona non grata. Therapists looked askance with a frown and the bad news that it was too bad about your unfixable life. Shame on the DSM for making monsters out of pwBPD. Thank you for shining light on our worthiness to exist and participate on Planet Earth. Could this be a renaissance in psychology happening? I think it may be. I'm 70. Years of therapy has mainly served to have me wallow in the awful stuff that I was ensconced in well before I started Kindergarten and have been reliving ever since. The stroke 29 yrs ago did not help. It complicated the BPD. Strokes can cause emotional lability. Just what I already had too much of.

[@rorydodds4581]

I used to be an insomniac. I'm hooked on methadone now, so while I do sleep, I don't go to the bathroom. Tapering off, don't worry. Tried cold turkey, but I was into week 2 of withdrawal and gave up.

[@happylindsay4475]

Dr. Fox I hope that you notice just how many comments and compliments you receive about your demeanor and compassion and an empathy for people suffering with personality disorders- including NPD. This is a gift that can’t be taught. I can only imagine the amount of patients that are helped and more accepting of a PD diagnosis because of your belief in their- our humanity. There is so much more to learn about the brain- and I really hope I am around to see how personality disorders are treated and languaged/spoken about in the future. Your openness, understanding and hope makes you an important voice in educating not just the public but other professionals about these disorders. I can’t express how horrible it feels to be diagnosed with something that is wrong with your PERSONALITY- the thing that makes you YOU. I feel less embarrassed saying I have MDD or Anxiety or Bi-Polar... but personality disorders feel and iwte perceived with way less understanding. Your videos help me see that not every mental health professional is scared/annoyed/disgusted/triggered by us. And I like the sprinkles of “Dad humor” 😊

[@tracy6568]

Well put 😘!

[@clouddancer46]

I love that plate!!!! Thats awesome! Thanks for teaching us not to give up. You are making a difference and I appreciate you.

[@le_th_]

Can only imagine how difficult it is for people with BPD to regulate their emotions when they're tired because it's also exceptionally difficult for people withOUT BPD to emotionally regulate when overly tired. Our fuse gets shorter, so people with BPD must have no fuse at all, I'm guessing.

[@AnObOdyGuY]

You are spot on! I have BPD and insomnia and it is hard to even put into words how hard it is. Excruciating is the only word that describes it. I have quite BPD so everything is directed inward. Most people don't even know what is going on inside of me and with my type I wear a mask that projects everything is okay so I don't make other people upset, sad, worried, concerned, or anything that would ruin their day. This however is when I am at my worst and I can say that it does and can get better. 😊

[@ImBoredAsAMoFo]

"99% of your life isn't a crisis" is the funniest statement I've heard. Obviously, I have had many failed relationships (diagnosed officially earlier this year w/ BPD), and each time someone walks away, I go back down the depression spiral. The only times I don't feel like I am in crisis mode is if I am hyperfixated on work or dating. Nothing is more painful and stress-inducing than a broken heart with BPD. But I do appreciate your vids Dr. Fox, they've been helping me to understand my disorder a little better.

[@DrDanielFox]

I'm so glad this video was helpful for you. I wish you well.

[@ashleylewallen957]

I'm only at 11 mins and 38 seconds about to cry...since childhood have I been told that and still feels that way today now that I'm 33 years of age. I don't have control of myself and don't know where to start ...

[@heidibarr7532]

DOCTOR FOXXY YOU ARE EPIC

[@olivertwisted89]

You are such a life saver. Very fortunate I ran into you!!!!!

[@alexism2144]

Really like these videos. I was at the emerge last night and I basically was told borderline sit around and don't do much all day and thats why they think too much and need so much attention. And told me coming to get help at the hospital would Just make me more dependent on it. I decided to go with a different resource to help me and stick with these videos to learn better . I could tell by her tone she was trying to push me away anyway and I never feel that with these videos. Just factual.

[@Vespertine420]

Radical Acceptance!!! Is this from Tara Brach? Her podcasts hel6me immensely before I was diagnosed with BPD and helped me seek help for a diagnosis. Her podcasts and books are even more helpful with the added bonus of my therapy work and your workbook! Keep changing and saving lives Dr. Fox. You have helped me so much understand and accept my condition and how to love and overcome it!

[@laylaluna2376]

I know exactly who you’re talking about! Got half way thru her book radical acceptance and never finished. Maybe this is a sign that I should finish it

[@laylaluna2376]

Didn’t know she had podcasts. Gonna have to check that out too

[@Vespertine420]

@@laylaluna2376It's really good in times of darkness. Also the podcast "Affirmation Pod" is wonderful for building positive thoughts and helping build your core content!

[@Pedals123]

These videos are very helpful. I'm now waiting to see if I can find one on what dissociation is, why it happens, and how to get out of it. I'd very much enjoy seeing a video about dissociation from this channel. This is one of the best channels for learning about BPD so I'm very thankful I found it.

[@cassiet317]

I felt like this video was directed right to me! I am in my 40s and have gotten my BPD somewhat under control but I have it and always will. Understanding the signs and triggers are so very helpful. I am going to watch so many more of these. Many times I think I am fine but then I look back at my behavior and realize that it was inappropriate because I didn't pause. I know I am different and it has very much been pointed out to me, but try and work on myself as much as possible. It makes me extremely sad knowing that I have BPD but I cannot change that. I can work to change my thoughts and actions. This is something I will have to do for the rest of my life, but I am worth it.

[@DrDanielFox]

It's great to hear that you found the video relatable and helpful. Keep working on yourself, you're worth it!

[@AI-zp3zv]

Thanks for every single video. I live with a husband with BPD and your recommandations save my marriage.

[@Cat-99999]

That is so beautiful. I love that y’all worked together to help each other through the challenges of BPD. It means so much to have the support of your loved ones especially an incredible partner. When you struggle to love yourself a dedicated loved one loving you is one of the greatest impacts. Modeling how to love yourself and others. You don’t feel alone and you fight together. You are amazing!

[@AI-zp3zv]

@@Cat-99999 lots of love in return

[@user-xg4ue5cc2v]

You deal with a lot

[@rhobot75]

BOMBA! Thank you! Sharing.

[@t.mckinney5859]

Thank you for taking the time to make these videos. Often my mind can be all over the place-or no place at all. You explain things well and give clear direction. I ordered your workbook a while ago, my denial has kept it on the shelf. It’s time to face the fat cat. Appreciate everything.

[@susanchmelovsky221]

I have his book and the workbook. Keep coming back online though. Need to start my books.

[@Blexplays]

Thank you for existing 🖤

[@zenylicious9611]

Thank you so much!This is incredible useful!❤🙏🏻

[@madameame1508]

Could you please make a video on radical acceptance? More into detail how we can do that by ourselves (since some people live in countries where there can’t work with professionals)

[@Cat-99999]

14:40 when you spoke on loving to watch others, observing interactions/social cues, and reading stories from others perspectives…I related to so well. Everyone has a story and I loved every aspect. Helping others help themselves and the incredible resilience of humanity. Seeing growth, motivations, and paths as they unfold. Also I love that subtle unintended book recommendation! *^_^*

[@theeternallowlyoutcastrn]

Yes it does! It so tells us that is an urgency. Prople mistake it for being stubborn and spoiled

[@Ms_Ve]

I really needed to hear this.

[@docmcquack7252]

I had a tentative BPD diagnosis years ago and I wrote it off because I thought it was depression/anxiety and other health problems. I get it now. I still don't have that sense of self. The hoax of punishment has been hard for me. I have chronic headaches and I feel like the pain became therapeutic at some point, like I served penance through the pain and the sins were forgiven, for lack of a better analogy. I have more trouble in the excited happy phase with relationships. I don't feel bad so I don't remember to pause and I think I come off clingy or overbearing...just off. It really helps me to realize that everybody has personality and character flaws, too. Theirs might not be to a level that they need therapy, but they're there. That's been something that has helped me; nobody is perfect and it's not always my fault. If you have BPD or another disorder then you are likely to attract people that are a little messed up, too. And vice versa. I don't try to diagnose or treat anyone, but a pause and understanding that even though I'm a mess doesn't mean others aren't also helps me. I always felt like I was wrong, intense shame, guilt and it snowballed. I guess it may be a radical acceptance thing to accept that the other people involved have their own problems and that interactions will get messy. At least we are here and hopefully trying to improve ourselves.

[@hillbillyhippy]

Actually very helpful. Thank you.

[@Caerulean1137]

Thank you so much for adding little touches like the plate or w/e it is. The level of detail and thought behind a lot of the little things, like meta BPD jokes, or just the silly plate in the background. Things that pull us out of tunneling in too deeply, to give options for those with higher anxiety to still be able to make it through the video. Without getting overly drawn in, so we can focus on the message, really truly helps a lot. Thank you for having so much consideration.

[@secretivescorpio891]

You make life changing content for us, thank you very much for your time, effort and consideration. Now I'm better informed and gained some insight I've begun the process of healing and essentially the job of reprogramming myself. I've been a subscriber to your channel for a little while but only just watched this video this week. It's impossible for me to express to you just how helpful and how much difference this video has made in a few days. I've still had some minor issues but it's early days and I haven't implemented all of your dos and don'ts yet ! Mania yesterday was full on and a little longer than usual but the resulting low was pure exhaustion as opposed to negative thoughts or actions. My narc/machievellian (at least he doesn't appear to have the psychopathy component too )neighbour attempted to provoke me earlier by locking me out of the building but I just brushed him off with a knowing smile. No rush of chemicals through the body. Not triggered. I've been using grey rock with him for a little while. Maybe he's stepping up his game 😂 You are literally providing me with the tools to do the job. All the best to you

[@Banana42699]

Ahhhh I’ve made so much progress in the past year and I’m just really thankful for your videos, my therapist, and also rose skeeters podcast from borderline to beautiful. Thank YOUUUU! :)

[@fightswithspirits915]

Beautiful.

[@jabaerga1]

Great video! Thanks

[@dawngartner1185]

You and the info you give are phenomenal! I really mean that! I don't have BPD and don't describe people in the extreme but you sir are phenomenal! God gifted you in a phenomenal way and I'm so glad you make these videos free to the public. My ex-boyfriend has BPD although he hasn't been diagnosed as such. They diagnosed him with Bipolar and PTSD. I wish I could get him diagnosed correctly but now he's gotten himself in trouble with the law and is in jail. He's a mess inside his head. Very delusional and self sabotaging. Alcohol mostly drives this and also sends him over the edge. I've recommended your videos and for him to get DBT. I hope he gets the help he needs to live a better life at least mentally.

[@luluw6256]

Down with covid and self-isolating, and it has been tough with bpd. Your videos have helped. You have a really soothing voice too. Thank you

[@ishmaelarroyo4727]

You are at the top of my list as far as insight into BPD and my spouse. Thank you for validating our challenges .

[@p0ssnm]

im going to try to remind myself to come back to this every time im on a low!! thank you so much for every video x

[@yt7377]

Thank you so much for what your are doing for us, borderlines! God bless you!

[@grandma4176]

Thanks for these videos! So glad to have found you! BPD and struggling

[@metalshorty0]

Wow this was incredibly helpful!

[@user-bx6xq2gn2i]

I've watching some of your video about BPD and i wanted to say thank you for making these video. It's something about your voice and how you explaind makes me feel understood and welcomed. I started to believe i still have hope to overcome this (or learn to lives with it peacefully) I can't afford therapy so watching youtube video about BPD is the only source to help me handle these symptoms (also by reading about it online).

[@thereader9473]

Thank you!

[@tracycampbell3060]

This is excellent advice

[@misteroz]

It was a lack of meaning and purpose that brought me here in the first place. Until a few weeks ago, I assumed that the whole concept was a marketing ploy, until I discussed the subject with a friend who’s a psychotherapist - I was genuinely shocked when she informed me that most people *do* find meaning in their lives, or at least feel a compulsion to. Having lived for 45 years without any, I’m still finding the whole concept baffling.

[@christinap1644]

Thank you Dr. Fox. Over the last few years during times of distress instead of engaging in maladaptive behaviors I find myself waiting for a quiet moment to listen to your videos even if it's one I've heard tons of times. What ever tough situation comes up I remember which video spoke to me on that topic listen. It really helps and this will definitely be one I listen to often. Another video that I hold close to my heart is the one a few years back that touches on parenting. It mentions ways to connect with your baby and teenage years. I would love some day if you could do a positive video on parenting strategies for parents with BPD. If you could touch on the toddler years it would mean the world to me and many others I bet. Thank you!!!!!

[@dishapatil8550]

So helpful!

[@angelladejager4439]

No- thank YOU for your time Dr Fox. You have no idea the difference you make in my life. Thank you for being so real !

[@tkoyasu4ever]

Thanks so much for your videos. They’re insightful and so very helpful!

[@Amused_Comfort_Inc]

If I didnt have this insight, I dont believe I'd be doing very well. You have helped me and so many others, a lot

[@curlymixednezz]

Your videos are so helpful to me... thank you

[@jacquelinefirkins994]

God your videos hit home. Wow! I spent years in heroin addiction because it stopped that empty feeling, I only ever had a small amount enough to make me feel whole but big mistake and it stopped me getting my diagnosis and proper help which now I have.

[@scarybeenana]

It absolutely blew my mind with all of these but one thing you said in particular really hit with me.. you said you can find your most authentic self when working through bpd or along the lines of that. To me it feels like I am bpd and the bad and darkness is me, but I didn't realize it really is a separate disorder that I can help and change and work on and I am not a bad person. Completely changed my world around with this video. It was almost too much watching this but I wrote all of these down and am going to slowly but surely work on this. Thank you so much.

[@Rockystevehudson]

This was very valuable, thank you.

[@AnafA]

Thank you very much Dr. Fox for your contribution to mental health and the support that you gave us; you make me believe and have faith that I possibly live a healthy life with BPD.

[@aC-zj9rh]

Thank you for your videos!!!

[@dannymeans2521]

#4 of the don'ts. Thank you for sharing this omg.

[@OverOnTheWildSide]

Excellent information, I’ve not been diagnosed but so much of the info is helpful that either way I’ll keep listening to these. I’ve implemented adequate sleeping a few years back and it’s really helped.

[@anonymoususer4672]

Thank you so much Daniel, you have changed my life. Forever greatful

[@annesmith1491]

thank you Dr Fox !!

[@cuterthanyou1562]

Thank you Dr. Fox. 🙏 Your videos have been of supreme comfort during my rougher times these days. I’ve given up temporarily on professional help, been concentrating on what I can do on my own time regardless and those tips are simple, yet really do help.

[@jozuajoubert2749]

I have learned so much about myself by watching your videos. This one I love a lot.