What are the 10 BPD Dos and Don'ts you need to know!

[@manelyset5162]

Do: - Make sleep a priority. Make a night routine. - Practice pause, to help stop all the bad thoughts and behaviors, before you end up giving in. Be better to say to yourself “Stop, pause. This is not an emergency. It’s going to be okay.” Just slow down and don’t act. Just stop. When you press “pause”, then reevaluate… Where am I? What am I doing?.. Get centered and be mindful of the situation. - Do always practice radical acceptence. - Do find and support your sense of meaning and purpose - Do find kindness and compassion for yourself and live it and express it Dont: - Don’t give in to those old, reflexive habits. (Instead make other healthy strategies to evoid selfharm and other bad habits.) - Don’t abuse alcohol and drugs - Don’t accept the belief that you’re less than. - Don’t give in to the negative belief that you deserve to feel pain to be okay. Self-punishment a hoax - don’t believe your BPD lens. It’s tricky and false. Live your life. This means, life is shades of grey and not just black and white.

[@43CYN]

Oh this is actually useful. I appreciate it ❤

[@brandongauger4050]

Thank you ❤

[@Khushi-cv1hd]

Thanks a lot ❤

[@ganna_hatem]

Thank you

[@Shannon_Robbie]

Dr. Fox has it all listed under the video. Just click "more".

[@projoebiochem]

Sometime I hate KZbin ads. We're watching this, and it talks about "Don't use drugs," and then and ad interrupts advertising THC gummies! AAARRRGGHHH! I'm trying to help a friend with BPD, and Dr. Fox is giving great advice, and KZbin interrupts with the most tone deaf ad possible!

[@alymarsalys3086]

😂😂

[@wayneingram7568]

That's why I pay the monthly subscription... I hate commercials!!!

[@jb7720]

legit it's worth the $12 alone just to be able to download anything for on the go and zero ads makes watching YT better than TV, you can curate your feed so easily and choose what you want. I haven't watched actual TV on years unless it's at someone's house.

[@Nat-hu4gq]

Your work book and DBT has helped a lot alongside psychiatrics check ups. I am awful at a sleep routine, I still need to work on this. Hi my BPD friends, I love you all 💖

[@coryoneil5064]

I have the workbook and I'm trying to get into DBT, but like you, my sleep schedule is terrible. When I'm anxious I can't sleep.

[@GEENIAH3]

I love you 💕

[@religiohominilupus5259]

@@coryoneil5064 Have you tried listening to music or an audiobook, or reading a book in bed (Dr. F. mentioned the latter too)? These options carry the potential to shift your focus away from your anxiety and soothe you. Especially with audiobooks, you have to listen closelly to be able to follow the story, and the narrator's voice can have a calming--sometimes slightly monotone--effect that'll help you drift off.

[@thereader9473]

and hi to you! 🧡

[@thereader9473]

@@religiohominilupus5259 audiobooks are the perfect sleeping pills !!!

[@davidg8123]

I find isolating myself as much as I can stops me hurting any one except me

[@kengaroo5170]

Me too.

[@mandyjames8211]

You have a beautiful energy that is unbelievably healing. You demonstrate constantly exactly how to see those with BPD. It's a course for all of us in support. I realise now how I've enabled things to escalate through my own lack of presence, invariably invalidating my bpd friend through frustration of not having understood what was happening for her.

[@religiohominilupus5259]

A good therapist would ask for permission to obtain previous medical records though, and it would show up anyway.. If the request is denied by the client, the therapist may not want to take the client on. I think it's better to be upfront. A good therapist will take your concerns into consideration and if their opinion differs, they'd provide an explanation.

[@user-jb8rx6bf3h]

Sweet. Good stuff

[@KatJ3st]

Well said. I am coming to this realization myself now.

[@fentayesisay8920]

Noted best

[@lornahuddleston1453]

🎉Yay! You are the First person I have ever heard show insight into their enabling and escalating and devaluing a pwBPD in the middle of what feels like death and total loss of everything, and the feeling of being dispised and spit out of the entire human race as worthless garbage! It would really be great if more people without BPD learned some basic things in order to stop being part of the meltdown. Kudos👍🥳

[@666ABCDEFG]

This is what we BPDs need. Solution to our problem not listening about our bad traits all the time. Thank you for being such a nice therapist.❤

[@bevanbuckwheatshea5520]

Sleep, exercise, get outdoors. Eat good healthy foods. No drugs or smoking or alcohol. Stay away from negative people.

[@mariodebenedetti9276]

i am the fucking negative person wtf are you talking about, all that shit you put is just a distraction, it dosent take the pain away

[@JusDion]

All I heard was "stay away from negative ppl"😅

[@JusDion]

​​​@@mariodebenedetti9276😂😂 definitely get some exercise

[@goldahashemzukhn-viren8523]

Seven year old boy curious of why folks do things they do...your clients are blessed!

[@theeternallowlyoutcastrn]

I love all the comments! Everyone is such a warrior here!

[@SophiaWafa-kv8kr]

HELL YEAH!!!! Let’s do this!!!!

[@patriciastewart2537]

Pause, restraint. I went to a meeting on my road today. My main goal was to NOT do any maladaptive aggressive thoughts, words or deeds today. I did a good job. Got through the yoga class attended also by a couple of people I had previously alienated with the characteristic aggressive snark. Kept PAUSING, being restrained. I was conscious of having had a bit too much COFFEE , but , not the worst toxic, mind altering substance. I did my best, paid full price, and got hugs. Left when it was done. Not a lingerer....

[@LoRaineyDay]

I hope you've been practicing your pause and reaping the rewards of restraint.💯

[@edensiou]

I have untreated bpd and ur videos never failed to make me feel good

[@music2obscureyou330]

Get the workbook AND DO THE WORK!

[@riah4320]

​@@music2obscureyou330where do you find the work book

[@augiemay8677]

Thank you so much Dr. Fox. I'm an adult who can barley financially get by and sure as hell can't afford therapy. You're videos and worksheets have helped me out SO MUCH!! I am eternally grateful to you. 🙏🙏 The work is never done, but the change of me from a few years ago to now is amazing. A long way to go but never thought I'd be here. 💜🙏💜

[@1TigerJo]

That's so wonderful! I need to get the workbook so I can help my partner.

[@PaulSmith-bx2fq]

Stay strong

[@darkwatergeekette]

I think this 25 min video did for me what the last 5 years in therapy failed to do. Simple and beautifully explained! I especially loved the cat comparison, it was on point!

[@SophiaWafa-kv8kr]

Maybe you have a therapist who is not suited for you. I’ve had 3 therapists in 3 years. Just don’t give up

[@laylaluna2376]

“The first one is you want to make sleep a priority” *me watching this at <a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="240">4:00</a> am* 🤫🥴😬😬 working on it!! Hehe Thank you so much once again for being the most understanding and knowledgeable person on this topic. Thank you for the much needed reminders. 🧡 we love you dr fox 🦊

[@AnnoyingNewslettersPage6]

That's me most of the time, but I was actually listening to this one at work.

[@Everyloveee]

Lol same sis ! We’re going to get on task moving forward 🤣 wishing you all the best

[@karajamieson9574]

Yep😂 same

[@alymarsalys3086]

Yup​.

[@ThousandWordsMediadotcom]

Dude…. I’m not full on BPD… I’ve been sort of categorized as a quiet BPD but not quite fully diagnosed because my therapist is still trying to figure me out as am I lol but I just wanted to let you know that I resonate with a lot of your videos and I appreciate what you do on KZbin especially for the people that can’t afford therapy or the people that just want to reinforce what they’re already learning… You’re amazing… I’ll probably post this on more than one video to try to make sure you see it lol… Thank you again and have a good day

[@Ruyolr]

You are a person with bpd, not bpd itself! Bpd is curable, it's a part of you, not you. 🧡

[@rachaelwood6622]

Me either I internise all my pain I font spew it onto others I'm an empath not a narc

[@andyreyerson8421]

Thank you so much! I'm 35 and after years of terrible struggling and suffering, therapy, hospitalization, medications, addictions, etc... Finally I found (on my own) that I have BPD. Your content has been life changing, and I can't thank you enough. I've watched this one over and over to memorize and make it habitual.

[@ZoeMagnes]

I could imagine a virtual reality game where we could practice the do's and don'ts, to work out any obstacles or confusions so we could seek out more learning resources as needed. In the game, we could practice pausing and learn to recognize whenever we have automatically started down the road toward a don't, so we can turn back in the direction of a do.

[@jennifermaxine2453]

Most people I'm around I'm very empathetic & kind to...its the Narcissist that kept me in that black & white thinking...I've started to learn being comfortable in my own skin. Now I stick up for myself against bullies & I dont stoop to their level anymore. No more people pleasing a narcissist, nor do I have high expectations from entitled people like that, who will only disappoint & betray, and repeat old cycles.

[@gabbyacuna2769]

So true about sleep!! Seriously I can’t function at all with little sleep. It really messes you up. I have made it a huge priority and habit! Thanks for this video 💯💯💯💯

[@jjsmama401]

You’re right. I think a lot of us get stuck in our minds as “less than” forever and take on mail-adaptive patterns, and never move forward from that. That’s where we need help!

[@andreal.tribble2042]

Dr. Fox you are helping me SO MUCH! I can't thank you enough for these videos. I'm ordering your work book. You understand this personality disorder like nobody else I have ever heard. I'm crying writing this. I have said for years that HOPE is a luxury I can't afford. But because of things you are teaching me about myself, I now HAVE HOPE.

[@DrDanielFox]

Thanks for such a wonderful statement. This really motivates me to keep doing what I’m doing and I’m so glad my material is helpful for you. Be well and stay strong.

[@susanchmelovsky221]

Dr. Fox is the very best!!!

[@theeternallowlyoutcastrn]

This made my throat choak up a bit

[@grassgeese3916]

I really love how gently you offer your advice. So much free advice regarding BPD, and other personality disorders, online is so .. hateful... so clinical... you feel like a human, who genuinely seeks to give people advice for how to be more in control of their lives. Thank you for being a human, not another clinician. I've been in medical facilities and institutions for my issues before and while I was certainly a wild child, I did not need the clinician treatment... I needed guidance and well it's late but I'm glad to have found some guidance :) thank u again, I've watched a few of your videos now

[@theeternallowlyoutcastrn]

This is so true

[@cherrycreeper]

Sometimes I forget why the surface stuff happens I just do it and I feel disappointed in myself. But remembering that there's a reason, that it relates to the core content helps me work through it. Great video as usual ✨

[@katariina7697]

This is a really important point, I have to keep this in mind as well.

[@1234Dee]

I know I've made so much progress since last year just because of how much of this video I can relate to now. I wouldn't be able to say that I live this way a year ago. BPD is truly manageable and there is a light out of the darkness for people with this disorder. Now I'm at the other end of the tunnel I truly believe this. Thanks for your insights Dr. they have helped me a lot! Been watching your videos for over a year now.

[@lorrenab-beat527]

Dr. Fox, I found your channel when I was looking for information on narcissist. I was diagnosed as bipolar disorder II almost 20 years ago. After watching a lot of your videos on BPD, I think I haven't gotten to a better potential because I've been being treated for the wrong disorder. I was doing so well, and then a bunch of emotional stress and health issues and feeling less than after I got out of a narcissistic relationship happened and my old thoughts and behaviors and patterns came back. Acceptance is very difficult for me. I ruminate too much on the past with so much hurt being stirred up each time wishing should've, would've, could've. Instead of learning from my mistakes, I focus more on how crappy they made me feel and isolate even more and more. Even my psychiatrist told me he was worried añd referred me to partial hospitalization. I viewed his last notes of my visit and he "suspects a personality disorder". I just want to grow.

[@ZoeMagnes]

I was diagnosed with BPD in 1995, but at the time there wasn't any treatment so I just decided to ignore it. Around 2015 I was diagnosed with "rapid-cycling" bipolar disorder, yet multiple psychiatrists failed to reassess the diagnosis. I was given 5 different mood medications simultaneously. Didn't really help and had several side effects. It wasn't until 2022 when my father died and I started researching narcissism on KZbin that the algorithm showed me videos on BPD. Within the first couple videos, I realized that I really do have BPD after all. I've read 3/4 of the DBT manual. I read Dr. Fox's book, which fleshes it out more. I would still like to understand more about how my biological temperament, environmental and socio-economic conditions, my father's narcissistic traits or undiagnosed NPD, my mother's likely but undiagnosed autism, my neurodiversity, etc., has combined to create one or more "demons" in my head that whisper harmful suggestions in my ear at the worst times.

[@paulineclothier6776]

You are SO gorgeous! I love the "Oh- I am a psychologist". That smile- that dimple.

[@WhitePelicansareReal]

I found this extremely helpful! I now have a short list of things to contemplate, especially #4 DO understand I actually do have a meaning and purpose and “Radically Accept it”. I thought I didn’t have a meaning or purpose, but something clicked the way you said it. I actually do have that. I loved this longer message, and when you smile during your video’s I find myself smiling back 😊❤. Thank for this video, it also made me realize I am doing more things better with my BPD; especially the Pause.

[@mtw5536]

Great stuff there’s something you almost touched but not not nearly enough. You said get sleep. That’s true. You did not however, speak to food. Hangry is a BPD curse. You will go off the deep end over anything. You REALLY need to add food to the list. If you have BPD do not skip meals especially if you cut your sleep short.

[@amynaddra7230]

Thank you for the incredibly, informative video. I took notes so I can use the do’s and donts. Great plan to put into my life especially the pause button. I love the advice on accepting my history. Looking at your celebration plate got me thinking how I never had a childhood birthday party. So I decided today I’m going to plan one and have my daughters come who are grown. I want cake and kids wrapping paper and Hello Kitty plates. I’m working hard at abstaining from alcohol because it’s been such a long, bad habit. And to not say extreme black or white statements. I caught myself this week saying “No one cares about me” which in reality is not true. That darn BPD lens. God bless!!

[@lornahuddleston1453]

Thanks Doc, I needed that! How utterly refreshing to not be ripped a new one for having BPD. I have a master's degree in clinical psychology. I suspected Borderline explained a lot about my tumultuous and delicate life. That was in the 1980s. If you brought it up, you were persona non grata. Therapists looked askance with a frown and the bad news that it was too bad about your unfixable life. Shame on the DSM for making monsters out of pwBPD. Thank you for shining light on our worthiness to exist and participate on Planet Earth. Could this be a renaissance in psychology happening? I think it may be. I'm 70. Years of therapy has mainly served to have me wallow in the awful stuff that I was ensconced in well before I started Kindergarten and have been reliving ever since. The stroke 29 yrs ago did not help. It complicated the BPD. Strokes can cause emotional lability. Just what I already had too much of.

[@matthewsmith218]

Thanks for the free therapy. I keep falling back into the abyss but then I watch another video. Top content creator 👏 DrFox🦊

[@DrDanielFox]

I am so glad that the videos help you pull out of those downward spiral’s. I wish you all the best.

[@KendellJohnson-p9z]

I need help, but I'm extremely hard to work with. I got labeled as bi polar as a kid and therapy didn't help and meds react differently for me. No health insurance, so these videos are all I got. Thank you and God bless you ❤

[@elmustapha111]

Very powerful belief or thought you mentioned is that the moment of now shapes the future. So being conscious of that fact helps a lot. Thank you.

[@ladybaabaa3294]

Yes! It's the fact that a temporary feeling / thought can have permanent consequences.

[@andraandre3777]

Really helpful video for us doing self therapy, who cannot afford therapy with mental health experts, thanks sooo much! I really appreciate you putting this work out there for us.

[@sandorclegane3658]

Haven't finished watching but wanted to say that I've started keeping my headphones on as much as possible. Motivational music etc. Keeps me moving, keeps my mind occupied (not quite 100% Of the time). It is especially important to have music in the mornings for me. But obviously I don't always do what I should.

[@BetteBlaze13]

I wear my bluetooth headphones about 23 hours a day. Not lying. I like to joke that they are "my sanity", but ppl have no idea how much truth is in that statement. Music helps tremendously with keeping my moods positive, keeping my emotions less intense, and keeping my impulses in check. (Plus, they are great noise-blockers for when "I just can't deal".) 😎 (let's) Be well.

[@happylindsay4475]

Dr. Fox I hope that you notice just how many comments and compliments you receive about your demeanor and compassion and an empathy for people suffering with personality disorders- including NPD. This is a gift that can’t be taught. I can only imagine the amount of patients that are helped and more accepting of a PD diagnosis because of your belief in their- our humanity. There is so much more to learn about the brain- and I really hope I am around to see how personality disorders are treated and languaged/spoken about in the future. Your openness, understanding and hope makes you an important voice in educating not just the public but other professionals about these disorders. I can’t express how horrible it feels to be diagnosed with something that is wrong with your PERSONALITY- the thing that makes you YOU. I feel less embarrassed saying I have MDD or Anxiety or Bi-Polar... but personality disorders feel and iwte perceived with way less understanding. Your videos help me see that not every mental health professional is scared/annoyed/disgusted/triggered by us. And I like the sprinkles of “Dad humor” 😊

[@tracy6568]

Well put 😘!

[@Pedals123]

These videos are very helpful. I'm now waiting to see if I can find one on what dissociation is, why it happens, and how to get out of it. I'd very much enjoy seeing a video about dissociation from this channel. This is one of the best channels for learning about BPD so I'm very thankful I found it.

[@clouddancer46]

I love that plate!!!! Thats awesome! Thanks for teaching us not to give up. You are making a difference and I appreciate you.

[@moanamason2454]

Thank you Dr Fox. You are appreciated.

[@AI-zp3zv]

Thanks for every single video. I live with a husband with BPD and your recommandations save my marriage.

[@Cat-99999]

That is so beautiful. I love that y’all worked together to help each other through the challenges of BPD. It means so much to have the support of your loved ones especially an incredible partner. When you struggle to love yourself a dedicated loved one loving you is one of the greatest impacts. Modeling how to love yourself and others. You don’t feel alone and you fight together. You are amazing!

[@AI-zp3zv]

@@Cat-99999 lots of love in return

[@olivertwisted89]

You are such a life saver. Very fortunate I ran into you!!!!!

[@t.mckinney5859]

Thank you for taking the time to make these videos. Often my mind can be all over the place-or no place at all. You explain things well and give clear direction. I ordered your workbook a while ago, my denial has kept it on the shelf. It’s time to face the fat cat. Appreciate everything.

[@susanchmelovsky221]

I have his book and the workbook. Keep coming back online though. Need to start my books.

[@Vespertine420]

Radical Acceptance!!! Is this from Tara Brach? Her podcasts hel6me immensely before I was diagnosed with BPD and helped me seek help for a diagnosis. Her podcasts and books are even more helpful with the added bonus of my therapy work and your workbook! Keep changing and saving lives Dr. Fox. You have helped me so much understand and accept my condition and how to love and overcome it!

[@laylaluna2376]

I know exactly who you’re talking about! Got half way thru her book radical acceptance and never finished. Maybe this is a sign that I should finish it

[@laylaluna2376]

Didn’t know she had podcasts. Gonna have to check that out too

[@Vespertine420]

@@laylaluna2376It's really good in times of darkness. Also the podcast "Affirmation Pod" is wonderful for building positive thoughts and helping build your core content!

[@DawnD374]

I just want to say thank you. I've been having a hard time lately and your videos are really helping me. I'm crying a lot, but I finally understand some of my behavior. I've been misdiagnosed, in my opinion. I do plan on seeking help. Again, thank you!

[@DrDanielFox]

You are so welcome

[@remasalehi9736]

Working through your BPD workbook currently and so far I have found it helpful, but also it has brought many tears, it is hard to look at yourself in the mirror and realize who you are and I feel like the people around me are me by this mental health definition. I am a lot more than my BPD. I stumbled upon your videos when I was looking for information about helping my symptoms, and when you put up a picture of the workbook, I laughed because that is impact the workbook I am using. Thank you for spending time creating this information and not belittling us, implying that we should be alone, but rather uplifting us to help us understand that BPD does not define us.

[@DrDanielFox]

Thank you for sharing your experience with the workbook. It's great to hear that it has been helpful for you.

[@Notyoungofficial]

I just found out I have BPD I’m 45, was looking up how does a BPD manage anxiety and I ran across your video and it’s exactly what I needed thank you so much! Can I get one of your workbooks I feel like it would really help me 😊

[@alexism2144]

Really like these videos. I was at the emerge last night and I basically was told borderline sit around and don't do much all day and thats why they think too much and need so much attention. And told me coming to get help at the hospital would Just make me more dependent on it. I decided to go with a different resource to help me and stick with these videos to learn better . I could tell by her tone she was trying to push me away anyway and I never feel that with these videos. Just factual.

[@Cat-99999]

<a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="880">14:40</a> when you spoke on loving to watch others, observing interactions/social cues, and reading stories from others perspectives…I related to so well. Everyone has a story and I loved every aspect. Helping others help themselves and the incredible resilience of humanity. Seeing growth, motivations, and paths as they unfold. Also I love that subtle unintended book recommendation! *^_^*

[@roriefriz9068]

U are literally the best explainer in the world. The way you approach BPD in such an understanding, validating and empathetic way, not stigmatizing it, is literally so so helpful. Thank you so much, dr. Fox youre helping so many people.

[@grtormand3]

If people with BPD could "just pause" we wouldn't be watching these videos for help. Telling someone what to do is easy and unhelpful, HOW to do this would be priceless!

[@benh6452]

I know right. Damn. I tell myself all the time don't do that! But sometimes I just have to

[@Donnamurno]

Practice

[@mystrose333]

I heard you about the substance abuse. I've tried to think about my purpose in life or what my driving force is. There is no thought that comes and it's so frustrating. I have no idea who I am, but I'm everyone to whoever needs me. I don't even know if that makes sense lol. Thanks for giving me this list, I'm going to try and apply it.

[@BetteBlaze13]

I hear you.

[@ZoeMagnes]

Little by little, I am learning to enjoy spending time by myself. The easiest way is walking outdoors, especially in nature. I've also been practicing meditating with a recording of ocean waves. When I get ideas, instead of telling someone else or posting it on social media, I write down my thoughts on my phone. It takes time by myself to get a sense of what my actual opinions and preferences are, without being influenced by another person or society at large. And I'm reading a lot of nonfiction books about the history of our society, how we got to this moment of crisis, and how we might help others deal with this difficult moment. My sense of purpose has to do with saving the world. But in order to do that, first I have to get in touch with my wisest self. It's been extremely difficult to do that due to the BPD lens that skews everything I observe, both inside myself and in the behavior of others around me.

[@Ariana-zr2cr]

I have a super hard time with #2 😢 I’m finally going to be seeing a therapist for BPD so I’m excited:)

[@erniemitch9922]

Me too!! I'm headed there Thursday after a long fight to be referred

[@erniemitch9922]

I wish you the best of luck!

[@marwamustafa952]

I started therapy 5 months ago and I learned some new techniques to control my impulsivity, rage and anger believe me you gonna control your life just start I started at 34 years old I wish you all the best, Bpd from Egypt

[@Ariana-zr2cr]

@Ernie Mitch Thank you s f good luck to you too:)

[@Ariana-zr2cr]

@Marwa Nour That’s amazing!

[@jozuajoubert2749]

I have learned so much about myself by watching your videos. This one I love a lot.

[@nataliacole]

I don't know if you know but I would just like to thank you sir for taking the time to help people like myself and others whose light bulbs have been going off like a firestation. The way you explain it makes perfect sense and so easy to follow! There is hope!

[@DrDanielFox]

I appreciate that. Thank you 😊

[@stevebissett651]

Thank you Dr. I have watched many of your videos and this one has really brought them all together. Very insightful.

[@AstraLydia]

In the begging there was something I didn't like about you, Dr. Daniel Fox - now I know, you were simply telling the truth. Thank you so much, for taking your time to make these videos and seeing the value of the knowlegde! It's a big support untill I go into therapy.

[@Banana42699]

Ahhhh I’ve made so much progress in the past year and I’m just really thankful for your videos, my therapist, and also rose skeeters podcast from borderline to beautiful. Thank YOUUUU! :)

[@Peace-d6r]

thank you so much beyond words,the only videos ive found so far that dont feel full of stigma just a real understanding and compassion for those with this disorder and /or characteristics. One of few who also looks at the disorder as a whole and the trauma many with this have experienced is talked about which is so so important for so many reasons .THUMBS UP

[@DrDanielFox]

Thanks 😊

[@ZoeMagnes]

The stigma from mental health professionals and "armchair psychiatrists" just feeds into the false notion that punishment could ever motivate good behavior. Shaming myself just makes me want to die. It does not motivate me to become a better person, because I'm already doing everything I can possibly do to be a good person and to reduce the amount of harm that I cause others through my behavior. I would rather be a good person then be happy. However, when I'm miserable, I'm way more likely to inadvertently trigger other people in social interactions and just generally make life more difficult. Sometimes it motivates me if I imagine that how I treat myself is part of being a role model to younger people of how to treat themselves.

[@p0ssnm]

im going to try to remind myself to come back to this every time im on a low!! thank you so much for every video x

[@susanpinkston3355]

This is very important to me. I want to listen to this episode daily. Thank you!

[@DrDanielFox]

You're so welcome!

[@cassiet317]

I felt like this video was directed right to me! I am in my 40s and have gotten my BPD somewhat under control but I have it and always will. Understanding the signs and triggers are so very helpful. I am going to watch so many more of these. Many times I think I am fine but then I look back at my behavior and realize that it was inappropriate because I didn't pause. I know I am different and it has very much been pointed out to me, but try and work on myself as much as possible. It makes me extremely sad knowing that I have BPD but I cannot change that. I can work to change my thoughts and actions. This is something I will have to do for the rest of my life, but I am worth it.

[@DrDanielFox]

It's great to hear that you found the video relatable and helpful. Keep working on yourself, you're worth it!

[@susanpinkston3355]

Powerful insights that light up a new set of boundaries for myself. ❤

[@Noonə]

Dr. Fox, I love to play Sudoku before I sleep on my tab. I find I fall asleep faster doing this or reading a book. I have suffered from insomnia for years and developed deep breathing exercises. BTW You are amazing....Thank you for all the help you have given to the BPD community and to me.

[@AidanSerik]

Thank you for what you're doing for people who struggle with a borderline personality disorder. It helps a lot. And it breaks down the strong stigma around BPD.

[@DrDanielFox]

I’m glad you liked it. Thanks 😊

[@Rwynn-q8k]

Among all the information online that is so desperate for BpD. Thank you so much for doing all this video. I believe there’s a way and tolls for Bpd to live happily but lack of sources abs kind knowledge. Thank you so much for you to have these videos.

[@Ashtree.]

Your videos help my feelings and emotions stay grounded. Thank you for all that you do. 10 years and I think I am finally going to lose my FP.. I don't think they can handle me anymore when I am trying so hard to not be a burden. I can hardly breathe thinking about it but I also understand that living with someone with BPD is hard as well. Your videos have really helped me compartmentalize my emotions when I feel like I am about to break down and give up on everything. So again, thank you. (Wish I found your videos sooner. Maybe they would have helped my relationship)

[@theeternallowlyoutcastrn]

I hope you have a great future!

[@Booster85]

Thankyou Dr Fox your a true gentleman! Sleep has really effected my BPD lately but I’m trying to get back into a normal sleep pattern again

[@DavidCampbellinvestor]

Thanks! I watch your videos every single day. Such an incredible gift to the world.

[@DrDanielFox]

Thanks 😊

[@adambaird2274]

Thank you Dr. Fox. I’m learning so much. I haven’t been diagnosed with BPD but I strongly feel that I’m on the spectrum. Your giving me hope that I can overcome.

[@DrDanielFox]

You’re welcome.

[@Anna-jt9fr]

The work you are doing is CRITICAL, thank you!!!

[@manalibhowmick8150]

Thank you doc for all your videos. They are extremely helpful. Could you please make a video on techniques for holding jobs with a BPD? I have been diagnosed with BPD with a comorbid bipolar disorder almost two years back. Have been seeing a doctor since then but sometimes it feels like my BPD is not getting any better. It's hard to hold down a job with all this. There are times when I feel very productive but if things go south, I become completely numb and dumb. Mental breakdowns always hit me physically. Most of the time I get bedridden and almost dysfunctional. I stop communicating with everyone including my colleagues. I don't know how to communicate with them. It's hard for me to make them understand. I can't overcome the BPD that is in my head. I procrastinate which leads to fear, anxiety and more depression. I feel like I have been running around in this circle since forever. Whenever I think about this, I end up having a crying fit and getting sick( which is almost everyday and the circle continues). It'll be very helpful if you cover this topic in your videos. Though I have a psychiatrist of my own but I have to admit the fact that if not for your videos, I wouldn't have survived the last pandemic. I was stuck at home, alone, for nine months. Your videos saved me. Thanks again!

[@nightmaREynX]

Dr. Daniel, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for your content. Ive spent almost all my life thinking that my bpd lens were a gift to me. Thinking that being able to see 'deep' into things, and most often extremes is something that made me special, not knowing I was looking through distorted point of view. Up until now I wasn't aware I have it, and even though I am not diagnosed, I display a big majority of the symptoms. The only difference now being Im aware of it. I will definitely stick to the do's and don't's moving forward. I just wish I didn't complicate the lives of those around me that much, and didn't beat myself up for it. Up until now I thought pain was part of the experience and I never shied away from it thinking it is needed to validate and process the experience. Now I know I was wrong. Million thanks

[@acecerberus8230]

I appreciate your ability to clearly communicate the complex issues of BPD. There are some good, and many not so good, commentators speaking about BPD. I just ordered your book through Amazon. Thank you.

[@DrDanielFox]

Thank you for your support and I’m glad that you’re finding my material helpful! Be well

[@loum73]

I'm letting go of all the pain today

[@aliway7037]

We can’t understand or control our emotions so we oversimplify them in an attempt to process what’s going on. We never learned that things weren’t actually the end of the world. When we cried as children we were neglected and never embraced. We weren’t reassured or talked through emotions. We have a false sense that we are great communicators when in reality we don’t know the first thing about emotions or how to communicate them. I was constantly searching to find someone who will embrace me through tough moments and never got it, but the problem is that it leaked into my adulthood. Now when things happen I go back to how I would react as a child. Begging, crying, pleading. Always getting an indifferent response. Leading to me feeling validated in my fear of abandonment, creating more intense situations. I can’t control how other people view my episodes because they will never understand the intensity of my emotions. I feel people are stuck in a huge bubble and I am outside watching. I don’t understand how real human emotion should work and don’t understand the thought processes of normal people, which makes me feel more uncertain about my place in their lives.

[@robotempire]

I started working with a friend of mine recently. And to my horror I’m discovering that, during code review, if he rejects my code, it triggers my fear-of-abandonment reaction. I’ve spent all day today recovering from this. It’s painful and humiliating.

[@jenni7513]

Thankyou Dr Fox. I was diagnosed BPD 16 years ago and still struggle to regulate my emotions...I'm autistic as well and feel that more understanding my condition will help me to manage day to day life

[@DrDanielFox]

Thank you for sharing your story! It's great to hear that you're seeking understanding and working towards managing your day-to-day life. Keep pushing forward!

[@cuterthanyou1562]

Thank you Dr. Fox. 🙏 Your videos have been of supreme comfort during my rougher times these days. I’ve given up temporarily on professional help, been concentrating on what I can do on my own time regardless and those tips are simple, yet really do help.

[@kristalkei8forever]

This is really help! Thank you so much doctor! I have been suffering by BPD without knowing for a long time. Thanks for my partner they point it out for me and thanks for me that I open enough to listen to them! Here we are! I really wanna get better from this ! Thanks again for your VDO! ❤❤❤❤❤

[@christinap1644]

Thank you Dr. Fox. Over the last few years during times of distress instead of engaging in maladaptive behaviors I find myself waiting for a quiet moment to listen to your videos even if it's one I've heard tons of times. What ever tough situation comes up I remember which video spoke to me on that topic listen. It really helps and this will definitely be one I listen to often. Another video that I hold close to my heart is the one a few years back that touches on parenting. It mentions ways to connect with your baby and teenage years. I would love some day if you could do a positive video on parenting strategies for parents with BPD. If you could touch on the toddler years it would mean the world to me and many others I bet. Thank you!!!!!

[@Anglesey]

I have lsitened to many videos on the subject as I have a very frustrating relationship with a girl with the syndrome. This has to be the absolute best I have seen. Thank you very much.

[@aprilpetty3970]

This is a very informative video that can be applied to any mood disorder!! Thank you 😊

[@daphnejones8202]

Tears! "Please understand me!" I have pleaded with others to understand me. You said the words in a different context, but i cried at the echo of my own words in your voice, it happens often, but some of them are WAY more significant and powerful than others. If that makes sense to no one else im ok with it. lol acceptance

[@parnaz1623]

Realize how this video doesn't have a single dislike? That's because Doctor Fox helps everybody.

[@murrayshomeforwaywardchick9182]

Lol, "Make sleep a priority"...as I watch this at 2am racked with insomnia, (again).

[@mouldymike7893]

I've been sort of casually watching your videos since I was diagnosed at 18. I've struggled with this since I was eleven when symptoms started to emerge and only this past week I have decided it's time to help myself. The mental health services in my country are terrible and I've been in and out for years, but I just wanted to say this video has really helped me. I've taken notes and I'm going to try to apply this to my life from here on out. Thank you doc

[@DrDanielFox]

You’re welcome and thank you for sharing.

[@altafmalik2843]

awesome video. It's not easy to practise. Relapses are very common in bpd recovery as I read and also attachment issue is I thing the worst. Then acceptance, self hatred and self loathing. These are all connected with each other

[@angelladejager4439]

No- thank YOU for your time Dr Fox. You have no idea the difference you make in my life. Thank you for being so real !

[@tammynezat2372]

I function so well with Dr.Fox advice. Ty again Doc. I share ur videos and advice always to many. "To be in complete control of urself is so freeing!"

[@RoopaDudleyPaintings]

I have read that book "Please Understand Me II" - I also loved it. I still love it and also Enneagram. If you are reading this comment by chance, are you an ENFJ? In my mind's eye that is what I envision an ENFJ to look like. Thank you so much for bringing out the best in us. I am trying to be mindful of that voice that sometimes mocks me that "I won't amount to be anything". So much to unpack with every video you create.

[@Melissa-jy3km]

Thanks you Dr. Fox, you have really helped me.

[@ChrisRichard-v2n]

I'm trying hard not to go to sleep listening to this dude

[@DrDanielFox]

I appreciate you giving my content a chance, even if it's a struggle to stay awake!

[@AnafA]

Thank you very much Dr. Fox for your contribution to mental health and the support that you gave us; you make me believe and have faith that I possibly live a healthy life with BPD.

[@Onlyskraps]

Dr Fox , i just want to personally thank you. I have utilized your teachings to help me better understand my BPD cptsd disorder. Thank you for your wisdom. I have been destroying my relationships. Being in Canada has greatly limited my resources for recieving any help with this disorder. Youve been one of my only resources . Namaste

[@DrDanielFox]

I’m so glad that my contact has been helpful for you. I wish you all the best

[@coryoneil5064]

I have a question about Don't #2. (Alcohol/Drug abuse) Where does Cannabis/CBD use fall in your opinion? I've battled opiate addiction in the past, so I stay away from pain killers. I don't drink alcohol any longer (been a few years), but I do use Cannabis products for chronic pain.

[@GEENIAH3]

Yeah i Do also i have a prescription. Just be careful with THC and youll be fine !

[@MR-qw5wb]

THC isn’t in CBD. THC can activate psychosis. Psychosis can be VERY dangerous for someone with BPD.

[@wynterflows1797]

I'd say weigh the options. There have been times where thc has helped me, and times where it has hindered. especially if you have an addictive personality. I don't smoke anymore but I think as long as you are very careful about not over using, it's fine. It is medically legal in a lot of states for a reason, and if it comes down to using opiates or thc, I'm sure many people would agree thc is worlds better.

[@jessicataylor7174]

[Not a medic/psychiatrist] Weight it up, speak with your doctor/therapist. The same question could be posed about prescription medication literally given to us as treatment. Huge respect for overcoming addictions, remember you are on a journey of healing that is not an instant magical cure 🤗

[@coryoneil5064]

@@MR-qw5wb Not entirely true. THC Delta-8 IS in CBD.

[@scarybeenana]

It absolutely blew my mind with all of these but one thing you said in particular really hit with me.. you said you can find your most authentic self when working through bpd or along the lines of that. To me it feels like I am bpd and the bad and darkness is me, but I didn't realize it really is a separate disorder that I can help and change and work on and I am not a bad person. Completely changed my world around with this video. It was almost too much watching this but I wrote all of these down and am going to slowly but surely work on this. Thank you so much.

[@ishmaelarroyo4727]

You are at the top of my list as far as insight into BPD and my spouse. Thank you for validating our challenges .

[@tessjones5987]

Exceptional instruction and powerful truths. Thank you. What a cool 7 year old you were. You still are a wonder person. How compassionate you are. What a Blessing to the World you are. I appreciate you.

[@docmcquack7252]

I had a tentative BPD diagnosis years ago and I wrote it off because I thought it was depression/anxiety and other health problems. I get it now. I still don't have that sense of self. The hoax of punishment has been hard for me. I have chronic headaches and I feel like the pain became therapeutic at some point, like I served penance through the pain and the sins were forgiven, for lack of a better analogy. I have more trouble in the excited happy phase with relationships. I don't feel bad so I don't remember to pause and I think I come off clingy or overbearing...just off. It really helps me to realize that everybody has personality and character flaws, too. Theirs might not be to a level that they need therapy, but they're there. That's been something that has helped me; nobody is perfect and it's not always my fault. If you have BPD or another disorder then you are likely to attract people that are a little messed up, too. And vice versa. I don't try to diagnose or treat anyone, but a pause and understanding that even though I'm a mess doesn't mean others aren't also helps me. I always felt like I was wrong, intense shame, guilt and it snowballed. I guess it may be a radical acceptance thing to accept that the other people involved have their own problems and that interactions will get messy. At least we are here and hopefully trying to improve ourselves.

[@ravenswoodwitch58]

Wow the sleeping is so correct. I have been depriving myself of sleep for years. Never knew it effected BPD till now.